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Clarke woke suddenly, her mind still racing from the nightmare.
She and her friends may be living peacefully now as the last of the human race, but that didn’t erase the memories that had rooted themselves in her subconscious. Killing dozens of people, with knives, with guns, doing whatever it took to survive.
First, we survive, then we get our humanity back, her mother’s words rang in her head like a mantra lately. They had survived, sure. But what does humanity mean when there were only a handful of people left in the universe?
“Clarke?” Gaia asked sleepily from beside her. “What’s wrong?”
Clarke shook her head and draped an arm around Gaia’s waist. “Just a dream,” she mumbled before pressing a gentle kiss to Gaia’s shoulder. “Go back to sleep.”
After a few minutes Gaia was back asleep and Clarke snuck out of bed, going to sit on the little bench outside of the home they had built along a lakeshore in a lovely valley.
Looking out on the still lake, Clarke knew she should be happy. She had an amazing group of people that she called family, a life filled with peace, with simple pleasures that they had all been missing until recently.
“I knew there was something wrong,” Gaia said softly from behind her. “You’re in your head again, aren’t you?”
Clarke chuckled and made room for Gaia to join her on the bench. “One day maybe I’ll be able to calm my mind like you.”
Gaia scoffed. “We’ll see, Clarke.” She sat with Clarke, draping them both with the fur blanket she had brought from inside the house. “What was the nightmare this time?”
“The one where I killed Finn,” Clarke said ruefully. “And – and then suddenly instead of Finn, it was my mother who I had stabbed.”
Gaia nodded. “You had to do that to save your people from fighting a war. And you didn't kill your mother. That was Russell.”
“Do the ends justify the means though?”
“We’ve had this conversation before, Clarke. Your mom was right when she said we had to survive, then we could find our humanity again.” Gaia put two fingers under Clarke’s chin, tipping her head up to look her in the eyes. “We survived. Now, we are all that’s left of our race - being human is what we make it.” Gaia kissed Clarke softly on the forehead and pulled her in close, wrapping her in her arms.
“It doesn’t change what I’ve done, Gaia.”
“It doesn’t change what any of us have done, but things are different now. We can just be. We are lucky enough to live without worrying about warring clans or fighting homicidal A.I.’s or the next apocalypse. We’re safe and at peace.”
Clarke sighed. “I know. Tell that to my subconscious though.”
“It’ll keep getting better,” Gaia whispered. “It’s been two years, and we are all a little less damaged. Our humanity is coming back piece by piece, Clarke.”
Clarke nodded, hoping her girlfriend was right.
They sat curled under the heavy blanket, enjoying the quiet stillness of the night around them before the dawn inevitably came, bringing with it the morning noises of birdsong and the distant sounds of their friends stirring in their own homes.
Clarke watched the rising sun crest over the mountain tops, still wrapped in Gaia’s arms, hoping she was right – that their humanity was coming back piece by piece and day by day.