Chapter Text
Dying, Roxas thought, as he saw his hand start to disintegrate as it touched Sora’s hand. Is that what this was?
Would climbing (back) into the heart of the Keyblade wielder be the death of him? Certainly it would be an ending of some kind. Would he cease to exist, never to see or hear or feel anything again? Or would he spend his existence inside Sora’s heart, able to see and experience everything but unable to move, trapped forever?
His arms and legs were gone now, dissipated into fragmented pieces of light as they restored the missing piece of Sora’s heart. Soon, his whole body would be gone too.
Ha. I’ll be a Nobody with no body.
It didn’t hurt though. It didn’t feel like anything, really. After all, Roxas didn’t truly exist, so he couldn’t miss what was never really there in the first place, right?
As Roxas felt his face pull back into the heart of his Somebody, he thought back to the last couple days in this fake Twilight Town. Axel, who had never given up on Roxas, but still let him go. Knowing there would be no convincing Roxas once he was determined. Axel, who sometimes made Roxas feel like he had a--
Let’s meet again, in the next life.
And then Roxas was swallowed by the light.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
The blinding, burning light was too much, and Roxas groaned as he opened his eyes.
Everything around him was so stark white. He could barely open his eyes, having to squint a little as he tried to take in his surroundings. He brought a hand up to shield his eyes--
The world exploded in pain.
Roxas let out a startled yelp. His head was throbbing, and his arm felt heavy when he had tried to move it, and his face felt like it was on fire.
“Hey, you’re awake,” drawled an all-too familiar cheerful voice, causing Roxas’ eyes to snap to the source. There he was, fiery red untamed hair, eyes that were closed but Roxas knew if opened would be a striking emerald, and an ever-present smirk evident in his voice. “For a second, I didn’t think you’d pull through.”
“Axel.”
Another burst of pain as Roxas had sat up without thinking, startled by the presence. He brought his thankfully uninjured hand to his head, feeling the soft yet scratchy texture of bandages around his forehead.
If he hadn’t been so distracted with the pain, he’d have seen the name catching Axel off-guard, eyes opening to finally look at Roxas. But the redhead pushed on in the same carefree demeanor, finding his footing once again.
“Took one hell of a trip, Rox. You should be more careful next time you decide to do something oh-so incredibly stupid.”
What...had he done? The last thing he remembered…
Merging with Sora. Had Axel stopped it from happening, coming back after he seemingly let Roxas go? Had the Organization ripped Roxas from Sora? He must have been back at the Castle, or back at the Mansion from how white everything was.
So many questions were running through his mind, and he could feel his confusion and betrayal bubbling into anger and irritation. His head was throbbing the more he thought, clouding his ability to think clearly which only led to more questions, more pain, more anger, until finally he looked at Axel ready to start a fight.
But what came out of his mouth was: “What the hell are you wearing?”
As he started to adjust to the throbbing pain and his mind seemed to clear, he realized Axel wasn’t wearing the dark hooded cloak issued by the Organization. Rather, he was dressed in mid-calf black boots over black jeans, with a long black hoodie that was open revealing a dark red and black checkered button down.
Axel looked at Roxas with wide eyes, and Roxas couldn’t help but feel that Axel looked wrong. But Axel caught himself, and the smirk reappeared like a shield.
“What, you don’t like the new digs? They seemed to do just fine when I was saving your ass.”
The anger and confusion that had ebbed to make way for shock returned in full force, and Roxas finally snapped.
“Saved me?! From what? I wanted to go back to Sora, to help him wake up. I’m not even real, Ax, and you can’t make me go back to the Organization. Sora needs me, he needs me to fight against the Heartless, so you’re gonna have to kill me and why are you laughing?”
It was a barely there sound coming from the redhead, one that filled Roxas with...something. Memories of the same noise from the clocktower in Twilight Town with a warm smile and soft eyes. For a second Roxas felt as if he couldn’t breathe. Like he...missed it.
It only made him angrier.
“Sorry,” Axel said, despite sounding anything but. “Docs really weren’t kidding about the toxin thing. I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about, Rox. Sora’s fine, and I’m sure he and Captain America will be here soon. And if I wanted you dead, I wouldn’t have dragged you to a hospital.”
Oh. That was...huh. The bed. The white lights and the machines and the bandages and the pain...it clicked in at once and it was as though Roxas could finally see the room for what it was, a hospital room. The sharp pain in his arm was from a needle stuck in it attached to a tube where liquid flowed into his veins.
But why was he here in the first place?
“You better start explaining what the hell is going on or you’ll wish you hadn’t saved me.”
Another low chuckle from across the room. Another weird...pang beneath the bubbling irritation. Best friend or not, Roxas felt murderous.
“You picked a fight with, I don’t know, six, maybe seven guys? Admirable, by the way, especially the one you smacked in the face with your skateboard. But when you inevitably got overpowered and got your lights knocked out, you landed right in a patch of Sinflowers.”
“Um...okay? What’s so bad about sunflowers?”
“ Sinflowers,” Axel sighed in almost boredom. “Toxic? Fumes alone are enough to muck up your mind?”
“I...what?” For all Roxas knew, Axel was speaking a different language.
There was a long and heavy sigh from the taller man, who just shook his head. “As if the head trauma wasn’t enough…”
Roxas opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted when a younger blonde woman walked in, carrying a clipboard. She looked pleasantly startled when she saw Roxas awake. “Hello, Roxas! Good to see you awake! I’m Celia, your nurse today. Heard you’ve had a rough day today. How are you feeling?”
“Um…” Roxas swallowed, feeling near whiplash at the differences between Axel’s aloofness and Nurse Celia’s warmth. “I...my head hurts?”
The nurse wheeled over a tall and skinny machine to the bed that had a series of numbers and lines on it, putting a loose clamp over Roxas’ index finger. She took a thermometer and prompted Roxas to open his mouth, which he obeyed willingly. As the tests ran, she peered at the bandages on his head, which Roxas wished desperately he could see.
“You took a pretty nasty hit from what your friend told us,” she said, nodding over at Axel. The machine beeped and the nurse took the clamp off his finger, and the thermometer out as she read the numbers. “Everything looks good from this end. No fever, blood pressure is good...I hear you’re having a hard time at school?”
“Uh…” School? Roxas didn’t go to school...did he? He looked at Axel with furrowed eyebrows.
Luckily the redhead took over. “Seems the Sinflowers hit him pretty hard. He’s been a jumbled mess.”
Roxas’ agitation came back again at that despite knowing Axel was teasing. He had no idea what was going on, and Axel didn’t seem keen on explaining. Of course he’d be a bit of a mess! Just before he opened his mouth, Nurse Celia gave him a kind smile, though Roxas could tell there was a slight frown behind it.
“Roxas, I’m going to ask you a few questions and I want you to answer them as best as you can, okay? Take as much time as you need to.”
Roxas turned back to her, feeling that maybe she’d be more helpful than Axel. “Sure, but only if I get to ask some questions of my own.”
She smiled kindly. “Of course.” She had a pen ready at her clipboard. “Let’s start with your name.”
“That’s easy. It’s Roxas.”
“And your last name, dear?”
He frowned at that. “I…don’t have a last name. Not that I know of anyway.”
He watched the nurse write down on the clipboard, and he knew he had answered incorrectly.
“Do you know what year it is, Roxas?” Nurse Celia asked, and Roxas could see the worry behind her smile increasing some.
He shook his head. “No, but time passes differently on every world, right? I never really knew about the Castle, but either way, it’s probably a different year than there.”
The nurse was stunned for a moment, and silence fell. Axel’s gaze flickered back to Roxas with slight interest, but otherwise didn’t look like he’d be much help. Again, Roxas felt like he was saying the wrong thing.
“Roxas…” the nurse’s voice was a little too gentle for Roxas’ liking. “Do you know how old you are?”
Roxas paused, because this was something he remembered thinking about. “I mean...Sora’s what, fifteen? So I guess that means I am too, kind of. But...technically, I was created a year ago, almost exactly.”
“...created?” the nurse’s pen paused on the clipboard in its scribbling.
“Yeah,” Roxas said again, wondering why Axel wasn’t helping to explain. “I was created. I’m a Nobody. You know, when a person becomes a Heartless, and they have a strong heart, a Nobody is created. I’m Sora’s Nobody, so we’re kind of the same age.”
He saw the Nurse looking at Axel in confusion. The redhead shrugged, but looked a little stiff. “I told you, he’s a big jumbled mess. He was mentioning the Heartless earlier. He goes to RGC for history.”
Roxas squashed down his irritation at his friend, looking over at Nurse Celia, who seemed much more forthcoming and patient, even as Roxas’ mind was going into overdrive trying to fill in the blanks of what they were talking about.
“My turn to ask questions?” Roxas asked a little weakly.
The nurse smiled. “Sure, dear.”
“Okay,” Roxas took a breath. “What do you think happened to me?”
The nurse paused as she mulled it over. “Well, from what your friend told us when he brought you in, you were being picked on by a group of bullies, and one of them hit you pretty hard in the head and knocked you out. You crash landed in a cluster of Sinflowers, which if jostled can release a pretty potent toxin that can mess with your mind, including your memory. It’s a good thing that your friend got to you when he did, or you could have gone into anaphylaxis. Your heart might have stopped.”
Roxas felt his blood run cold and he looked at Axel with wide eyes. Roxas...had a heart? Why wasn’t Axel telling him these things? Roxas put a hand on his chest, and sure enough he could feel a steady rhythm beating under his fingers.
The nurse patted Roxas’ shoulder, giving him another smile. “I’m going to get the doctor and let them know you’re awake and that your vitals are good. Should be back in a few minutes, okay?”
Roxas nodded, more anger and confusion swirling in his mind. He had a heart. He had a heart….
He watched the nurse leave, and he heard the redhead take in a sigh.
“Well, this is my cue to leave.”
“Leave?” Roxas frowned. “Where are you going? You’re...not staying?”
Axel scoffed. “I’m only here to make sure you’re alive, which you are. My job is done. I have work to do. I’m not going to babysit you all day when you don’t even know who you are.”
“You’re wrong! I know who I am!” Roxas snapped as his anger bubbled again to the surface. “Come on, what aren’t you telling me? Axel, why are you playing this game with me? You’re supposed to be my friend, so why are you messing with me after everything we’ve been through?”
There was silence in the room before Axel let out a laugh, one that sounded wrong and hollow and made Roxas’ stomach churn. It was very different from the one before.
Green eyes were on him with a fire behind them, one that Roxas hadn’t seen in Axel since he had woken up here. “First off, Rox, I’m not playing anything with you. That’s your job, remember? And secondly, you know how I know I’m right? Because you keep calling me Axel, which you haven’t in almost five years. We’re not friends anymore. My name is Lea now. Got it memorized?”
The fight drained out of Roxas all at once, and he leaned back in the bed. He felt a prickle behind his eyes as they watered with tears. There was an overwhelming pain that bubbled up from inside him, one that wasn’t from his injuries.
We’re not friends anymore.
“Axel…” he felt so much pain, so much hurt, in a way he had never felt before. What horrible place was this?
The redhead pushed off the wall, cool and collected once again. He made his way toward the door, not bothering to look at Roxas. “Whatever. I’m getting out of here before the cavalry comes in. Hope you get your head on straight again, Roxas.”
Then Axel was gone, leaving Roxas alone in the room with nothing but his thoughts and the sound of the machines beeping around him.
The tears fell from his eyes, and Roxas could feel that there were so much more beneath the surface. It was like a dam, waiting to break, an abyss he was ready to sink into--
There was a loud thundering sound in the distance that caught him off guard, and it took a moment for his mind to register that the sound was coming from inside the hospital, and that it was the smack of shoes running against the tile floor.
Two boys crashed into the room with a shout of Roxas’ name, and Roxas looked up to see who it was, not quite sure if he was ready to face another unknown.
To say he was shocked was an understatement.
Squeezing through the door at the same time were two boys, one who looked identical to Roxas in every way, and another that was painfully familiar.
Sora. Awake and well...and separate from him.
In nearly an instant, the two boys were on either side of Roxas, nearly crashing into his chest. It caused him some pain, and Roxas let out a winded oof! as he was hugged tightly.
“You’re okay!” the one who looked just like him said, his eyes wide and round and full of tears and happiness. “You’re so lucky Mom and Dad aren’t visiting this weekend or you’d be in big trouble! We were so scared, Roxy.”
“Why didn’t you call us?” Sora’s voice was nearly overlapping with equal excitement and relief and worry. “We would have come got you, or even helped you fight.”
“I--” Roxas didn’t even know where to begin. He looked between the two, his mind flailing again in confusion, and he settled on the one question running through his mind.
“Now boys,” Nurse Celia walked back in with another woman with brown hair and a white labcoat. “Roxas has had a very long day. I know you two are worried about your brother, but you need to be gentle.”
“Brother?” Roxas asked dimly, confusion overwhelming him all over again.
“Rox?” Sora took his hand, squeezing gently as he pulled back and off Roxas’ side. How were the two of them in the same room? How could Sora be awake without him?
“Sorry if I hurt you,” his double said, looking up at him with concern. “You doing okay? You just really had us worried.”
“Who are you, and why do you look like me?”
That was the wrong thing to say, and he instantly regretted his words just from the look on his double’s face. Soft blue eyes recoiled in hurt, the smile vanished from his face and fell. Eyebrows came together in concern and confusion, and Roxas had an odd churning in his stomach, not wanting his so-called brother to have that expression there.
“I’m...sorry,” Roxas said, shaking his head, settling on a half-truth. “I got hit with the Sinflower toxin, and my memories are...a messed up jumble.”
His doppelganger’s expression cleared. The pain was gone and now replaced with worry. He took Roxas’ other hand and squeezed it, a small smile tugging at his lips that felt like sunshine.
“I’m sorry, Rox,” he said. “I’m Ventus. Ven. I’m your brother. Your twin brother.”
Sora squeezed Roxas’ hand to draw his attention to the brunette. Sora’s expression was as equally like sunshine, and Roxas found that between the two he was swept up in a feeling like everything was going to be okay.
“Do you know who I am?” Sora asked, blue eyes clear on him.
For the first time, Roxas finally had an answer to a question. He knew something, even if from the nurse and Axel’s expression earlier, he couldn’t say the whole truth about Nobodies and Heartless.
“Yeah,” Roxas said easily, finding a small smile at his lips. “You’re Sora.”
The smile that Sora gave him was blinding.
“Don’t worry, Roxas,” Sora said, hugging him, just as Ven did the same on Roxas’ other side. Despite the pain, Roxas finally felt a little at ease, and gingerly put his arms around the two. “We’re gonna help you.”
“Yeah,” Ven said easily. “The three of us are always a team. Family, always.”
Family. Roxas had never had a family before. Nobodies were created, not born, and so siblings never existed. Roxas was always alone, and had never felt lonely because he couldn’t.
But he had a heart, he had a new life, and he had a family.
Despite his utter confusion as to where he was, for the first time in his existence, Roxas finally felt comfort.