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It all started when that slenderman-looking fuck in the stupid dinosaur hoodie walked into Tommy’s first period math class.
Tubbo visibly perks up upon the new kid’s entry. The new guy walks over to the teacher’s desk and starts to talk. He doesn’t seem too sure of himself, but when he notices Tubbo’s eyes on him, he smiles and stands a little straighter.
It’s way too early in the morning for this, Tommy thinks with a long sigh. The bitch knows Tubbo, too? This simply isn’t allowed.
The bitch in question turns from his conversation with the teacher to raise an eyebrow at Tubbo.
Tubbo giggles, and Tommy is so pissed off. There wasn’t even anything funny happening! All the bitch did was look at him! Tommy isn’t jealous in the slightest, he’s got no idea what you’re talking about, in fact. Not jealous at all, no, not one bit. Absolutely not.
Even better, the teacher points to the empty desk on the other side of Tubbo. The kid stands up straight - Why is he so fucking tall - and happily plops himself down in his seat. Tommy glares at him.
Yeah, it’s definitely way too early in the morning for this.
It seems like the new kid is everywhere Tommy goes. He eats lunch with them that day. The tension is palpable in the air between them, with Tommy shooting daggers out of the corner of his eye the entire time. By some miracle, Tubbo doesn’t notice the awkwardness. Thank god for that. The bitch, however, is in at least half of Tommy’s classes, including the film ones and the advanced topics. The fucker is inescapable. He’s always by Tommy or Tubbo’s side, and Tommy can’t shake him off.
He’s more clingy than I - than Tubbo is, Tommy complains inwardly.
Somehow, he still hasn’t caught the kid’s name.
It’s a week after the first time the guy showed up in class, and he and Tubbo are thick as thieves.
Tommy does not feel thick as thieves, although he does quite feel like committing criminal actions.
Across the lunch table from him, Tubbo laughs at the tall fuck’s joke. Tommy tries to pretend that he didn’t find it funny too. Slenderman dipshit smiles at him. It would be oh-so-easy to smack a bitch right now, but Tommy uses his amazing skills of superhuman self-restraint and inner peace to not start another fight. Phil was bothered enough the first time, and no one bothers Phil twice without facing the consequences. Tommy shudders.
“Ranboo,” Tubbo says. “You wanna go out to the shops on Saturday?”
So that’s the fucker’s name.
“I’d love to,” Ranboo replies with a smile. “Tommy, d’you want to come?”
“I mean, sure,” Tommy says with his usual bluster. “Since you want me there so much.”
Tubbo gives him one of those ‘the fuck are you trying to say here’ looks. Tommy, with his immeasurable amounts of wisdom and practice avoiding fights with Tubbo, elects to ignore it.
Later that day, Tubbo pulls him off into an alcove during passing period.
“Tubbs, Big T, I’m trying to get to class,” Tommy attempts to excuse himself.
“We both know you don’t care about attendance, Toms,” Tubbo says. “I wanted to ask how you feel about Ranboo.”
Tommy’s silence says enough.
The chatter of the hallways is a bit too loud.
“Toms, I’m not abandoning you, you know,” Tubbo mediates. “It’s just - If only you got to know him - ”
“I really have to be off to class, Big T,” Tommy tries.
“Tommy.” Tubbo crosses his arms. “Be at the shops on Saturday.”
Tommy desperately tries to pretend he isn’t mildly scared of Tubbo. “Yeah, sure, whatever. I’ll be there, I guess.”
“You better be,” Tubbo says, and slips into the stream of students.
Tommy sighs, steadies himself, and stalks off to his next class.
So there Tommy is on Saturday, pacing around the small park a few streets over from the little line-up of stores, checking his phone every thirty seconds. He might’ve gotten there a bit early, but it never hurts to get to the meeting spot before Tubbo expects. The only problem is, Tubbo either runs hilariously early or devastatingly late. Today seems to be one of the latter occurrences.
“Tommy!” a voice calls from behind him. Speak of the devil.
It’s Tubbo, of course (only fifteen minutes late this time! A miraculous day, indeed!) and trailing him like a nervous cat is the slenderman fuck himself, Ranboo. Wait, is that bitch wearing a plaid suit?
No, Tommy realizes, he’s wearing plaid pajama pants to go with the blazer and tie. What the fuck.
Questionable fashion taste aside, Tubbo is waving for him to catch up. Hurriedly, Tommy puts on his best ‘I am going to spew bullshit for the next hour’ grin, and Tubbo responds with one in kind. Tommy does his best to ignore the little smile Ranboo gives them. He scowls at the plaid little shit, and Ranboo just smiles wider.
“Tubbo,” Tommy says as they start to putter towards the shops, “You’re practically early this time! Congrats, man!”
“I know, isn’t it great?” Tubbo responds enthusiastically. “Ranboo made sure I got here on as close to on-time as possible even though I lost my house keys.”
“We had to go digging through the house for them,” Ranboo supplies. “Sorry we didn’t get here sooner.”
“Ey Tommy, guess where they were,” Tubbo says.
Tommy gives a long-suffering sigh. “In the toilet tank.”
“How did you know that?” Ranboo gapes.
“That’s where they’ve been the past four times,” Tommy explains. “Before that they were in the fridge.”
“Definitely not. Don’t believe him, Ranboo, he’s a liar. I swear it was only the past three times they’ve gotten in the toilet, I swear.” Tubbo tries to bump shoulders with Tommy, but it ends up more like an elbow to the side, considering the height difference.
Simultaneously, Tommy and Ranboo rest their arms on Tubbo’s head.
Tommy glares. Ranboo grins. Tubbo pushes them both off the pavement.
“Tiny,” Ranboo teases as he sprinkles grass on Tubbo’s head.
“Small,” Tommy agrees, passing Ranboo more grass fresh picked from some stranger’s lawn.
“You two suck,” Tubbo complains.
“And you’re just short,” Ranboo says. He pokes Tubbo in the side. “Get taller.”
“Fuck you,” Tubbo mutters. “I’m going to commit atrocities. So many atrocities. I’m going to start the apocalypse. You won’t be able to stop me. I’ll crawl under tables and chairs and you’ll hit your head, you slenderman bitch. That goes for you too, Toms.”
Over Tubbo’s head, Ranboo nods meaningfully at Tommy.
Tommy promptly dumps an armful of dead leaves on Tubbo’s head, fully aware that he’s about to start a war.
Maybe the tall fuck isn’t so bad after all.