Chapter Text
It was dark, monotone, quiet - so so quiet. Save for the morbid thoughts that ran through his head of course. Sasuke was no stranger to obtrusive and overwhelming thoughts and emotions. It was these running ideologies and inklings that had driven almost every action he had undertaken for the past few years. These thoughts were different. He was wrought with an encompassing sadness, a sense of loneliness that shrouded his every slight, imperceptible movement. Shame, Sasuke thought bitterly, I feel shame.
And so Sasuke considered that perhaps staying holed up in this stingy jail cell for the rest of his life was what he deserved. His chakra would remain bound, his eyes forever succumbed to the darkness that permeated around him. Maybe this was a fitting end to the Uchiha name. The last, surviving Uchiha, with eyes devoid of chakra for the rest of his life, his visual prowess never to be utilised again. How ironic.
He heard him first. He was always loud, always announcing his presence. Yet as he listened to him pad his way towards his cell door, he noticed the hesitance, the caution and the consideration in each footstep. He hated it. That wasn’t what Naruto was meant to be like. He was boisterous, impulsive, impetuous, alive. Not this. He’s changed, Sasuke thought.
For some reason Naruto not being constant, a singly standing pillar holding up his sorry existence terrified him. Naruto was there, always there, always around him. This, this was unknown, foreign, eerie almost. He didn’t—
“Sasuke teme,” Naruto’s light voice broke through his spiralling conscience, “stop thinking too hard bastard.”
Sasuke exhaled, “Usuratonkachi.” And he tried to suppress it, he really did, but he smiled. He smiled and his body unconsciously shifted towards where Naruto was. As if it were natural, normal, inevitable, perfect.
After everything he had done he didn’t deserve him. He didn’t deserve Naruto. But he’d always been selfish. They had both been. Naruto would never let him go and this time Sasuke wouldn’t run away. Because if there was anything left in this world, it was Naruto.
“I’m getting you out,” Naruto said matter of factly, miserably failing to suppress his eagerness and determination.
At least he remained Naruto to his core, Sasuke thought amusedly.
“You should leave me here to rot, Kami knows I deserve it. A fitting end for the Uchiha—”
“Stop it. Stop talking like that, you don’t deserve it. And if you don’t shut up, I’ll fucking break these bars and punch it into you. I’m getting you out. Just give me some time. I promise, I—”
“Never go back on my word, heard it all before, dead-last. It won’t be easy. I-I’ve done a lot. A lot of which I don’t regret, a lot of which I’d do again. It’s not worth your time Naruto, I’m not worth your time. Leave me here, become Hokage, fulfill your dream — our dreams.”
“There is no Hokage without you, teme. I won’t do it without you. I’m getting you out, whether you like it or not,” Naruto was determined, as he always was Sasuke mused.
He sighed, there was no talking Naruto out into leaving him behind. It had never worked before.
“Fine,” he spoke in a voice barely above a whisper.
Seems like that was all Naruto needed, with a quick goodbye Naruto teleported away. He left Sasuke in a darkness more somber and quiet than before for whatever radiated with Naruto in the room had left with him.
Naruto came to visit him everyday like clockwork. Naruto, who had never been punctual or on time for anything. Naruto, who was even late to the war. He was always, always on time to see him. Sasuke.
Sasuke’s life has been marred by choices other people made regarding him. His father chose to further the clan in lieu of being an ever present parental figure for his sons. He chose to regard Itachi and maybe even, unknowingly dismiss Sasuke and his often less impressive progress. Itachi chose his duty, his morals and his ideals over family, over Sasuke. Even Sakura and Kakashi had given up on him. Not that he blamed them of course. He deserved every scornful gaze, contempt and concern that was levelled at him. He had deserved to die. And he knew this was a sentiment shared by everyone — the village leaders, the Konoha 11, the village citizens and maybe even himself.
Not Naruto though. Never Naruto. Naruto cared for reasons that went beyond Sasuke’s comprehension. Sasuke mattered to Naruto. Not as a tool to further an agenda, to research and experiment or to establish insane plots restricting everyone to a false reality. Sasuke wasn’t ever the last living Uchiha, the genius of their generation in Naruto’s eyes. He was just Sasuke. Naruto’s — Naruto’s friend.
Sasuke had never been a priority. His eyes, his power, his intellect, his body, his last name — that was what was sought after. What people wanted from him. Naruto just wanted him. And he shouldn’t. Naruto deserved more.
Sasuke was broken. He was stuck in jail, forced to confront the repercussions to every decision he had made following his defection. Naruto should be out, working towards becoming Hokage, making the world the way he had promised it would be. He could live with that — die with that, in fact.
Sasuke shifted slightly, ignoring the sharp stab of pain that complemented his every movement. Normal chakra blockers would never work on him. These ones were designed specifically for someone of his caliber. Although, if he really wanted to, he could get out of this too. But he was here, wilfully, for retribution and redemption.
He listened to Naruto prattle on about Konoha’s reconstruction, his new apartment and what everyone else had been up to. Naruto filled the silence with his voice, speaking and speaking and speaking until it went raw. Sasuke would only ever listen. He had not spoken since the day Naruto had promised to get him out of here. He didn’t trust himself to speak. Sasuke’s mind swirled with an array of thoughts. It took time to analyse each one of them, compartmentalise them and understand them. He would be unable to voice himself articulately, in a way Naruto wouldn’t have to wrack his brain deciphering what he really meant. He wasn’t afraid that Naruto would not understand, in fact he knew only too well that Naruto would — quite easily in fact. Sasuke needed to do this for himself. Understand who he is, who Naruto saw. He owed this to him, to the one person who saw him as being worth someone to save.
He went on for hours. Sometimes until dawn would break and beams of orange and yellow would swelter down through the lone window over Sasuke’s head. Naruto would sit pressed up against the bars, his eyes shiny and earnest. When Naruto would stay for that long, the light would hit him in a way that would have paralysed Sasuke even without the chakra cuffs cutting into his skin. He didn’t understand what he felt when he saw him. He didn’t know what it was. It consumed him, overwhelmed his very being. He had this irrational urge to close the distance between them, to touch him and run his hands through his infuriatingly bright hair. He would figure he was succumbing to insanity if the feeling didn’t feel so right, like a lost piece perfectly fitting into a puzzle that stood to be so convoluted and confusing, like despite the major picture, this was what finally made sense.
Naruto was mesmerising. The sunlight came down as oregold-yellow woven strands casting light and stretched shadows across the prison cell. It made his blue eyes shimmer and reflect a sense of apprehensive joy and restrained contentment. His whiskers melded with the shadows and all Sasuke would see was Naruto’s smile. His face-splitting smile when he was excited about something, his timid smile when his stream of consciousness would tread on topics too vast and exigent for Sasuke to confront at the moment, his slightly upturned smile whenever Sasuke’s impassive mask would slip, his toothy grin whenever he would be able to elicit a reaction off of Sasuke.
Sasuke spent his time in prison learning more about Naruto, everything he had missed over the years. However, it stood to reason, that at the centre of his very being, Naruto was still the same orphaned boy he had left behind, wrestling with the after-effects of abandonment and neglect. He was broken, like him. He could see it behind the smiles and boisterous laughter. Naruto, he realised, hadn’t changed so much after all. In the depths of his mind, which at the moment was encompassed by stormy and destructive thoughts, he took that sole, comforting observation and tucked it away for another day.
“You need to stop,” Sasuke said, his voice gravelly with disuse.
He carefully noted the way Naruto stilled, his hand frozen in mid-air, Sasuke having interrupted whatever ridiculous anecdote Naruto was barrelling through. He slowly let his hand rest against the floor, unconsciously flexing his fingers. Naruto was very pointedly looking at the window over Sasuke’s head, as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.
There was no sun to illuminate Naruto’s eyes today though. It was dark, the crescentic moon giving off a mellow and muted light. It made Naruto’s eyes look dim, less full of life, although Sasuke felt he couldn’t really blame the moon for that.
“Stop what,” Naruto choked out, pressing his lips into a very thin line. He wasn’t smiling, he was grim, somber.
“Stop coming here. Stop trying to get me out,” Sasuke stated as matter-of-factly as he could. Save the emotions for Naruto to flaunt about. And flaunt he did.
“We’ve already had this discussion. I’m not going to stop, Sasuke,” Naruto voiced, each word coming out of his mouth at a decibel higher than the last.
“You think I don’t see how tired and exhausted you are? You don’t need me to take up your time, idiot. I’ve already done enough as it is.”
“Shut up, teme. God, when did you become so fucking self-pitying,” Naruto spat out bitterly.
“Naruto, you’re idealism knows no bounds. I’m not important anymore. I’m here, in Konoha, that’s it, isn’t it? I—”
“Oh fuck off. You’re in a fucking jail cell. You shouldn’t be here, bastard.”
“Naruto, no one deserves it more than I do.”
“You haven’t spoken a word in a month. Have you seen yourself? You’re fucking gaunt and awful to look at—”
“Gee, thanks Usuratonkachi. You’re not a sight for sore eyes either. When’s the last time you’ve slept?” Sasuke snapped venemously.
“Thanks for the concern. I haven’t slept in weeks, fuck you.” Naruto gripped the jail cell and for a moment, it looked like Naruto was the one imprisoned, “It’s not right. You fought with me. We won the war because of you. We — I could never have done it without you.”
“Naruto, please, just leave it.”
“I can’t. Not with you here. How can I go to bed at night knowing where you are? You don’t speak to me Sasuke. Kami knows what’s going on in your head. I’m scared. The war’s over and I’m terrified. We’re rebuilding. But how can we rebuild without clearing the atrocities against your clan. How can we rebuild without you? How can I do anything without you? Sasuke—”Naruto’s voice broke and Sasuke looked away.
“Naruto…” Sasuke trailed off unable to think of what to say to him. To think that Naruto still cared so much, not just for him but for justice, for him, for his clan. His heart was pounding wildly and Sasuke felt faint. He, he felt—
“I’m killing you, aren’t I?” Sasuke said softly, the realisation piercing through his very being, “You’re tired, constantly. You’re not sleeping and you’re overworked. I do not want to stand in the way of your dreams, of what you really want to do Naruto. I don’t want the village to turn their back on you because of how ardently you want me out of a punishment I so clearly deserve.”
“You’re the only thing keeping me alive,” Naruto said fiercely, his eyes gleaming with that righteous fury Sasuke was so used to seeing, “Watching the elders just frolic around so carelessly aggravates me to no end. Kakashi-Sensei and Shikamaru keep going on and on about going through things the right way, the right avenues but it’s taking too long. We’re rebuilding. I don’t want Konoha to be rebuilt without righting the wrongs of the past.”
Sasuke closed his eyes. His throat was throbbing from having spoken so much after his self-imposed one month silence.
“You need to rebuild too,” Naruto said. His voice was firm, a note of finality evident in his tone.
“Why would I want to rebuild Konoha? We need to reform it, Naruto. It can never be the same,” Sasuke tilted his head backwards trying to catch a glimpse of the iridescent light bouncing off the stony, grimy prison walls.
He didn’t have to look at Naruto to know he understood that Konoha wasn’t the only thing he was talking about.
He heard Naruto stand up, getting ready to leave.
“Usuratonkachi—,” Sasuke’s voice closed up. Damn it was it difficult to speak freely.
Naruto hummed, the shuffling sounds halting, Naruto waiting, always waiting for him.
Sasuke swallowed thickly, “Make sure you sleep tonight.”
He couldn’t bring himself to look at Naruto. So he glanced at him from the corner of his eye and the smile he gave him was so different from the ones he had seen before.
Sasuke snapped his eyes shut, so overcome and moved that he had to stop looking, feeling. He had to become nothing again. His chest felt tight and he almost felt as if he couldn’t breathe but he didn’t know why. He had fought fucking chakra goddesses and this — this is what he couldn’t handle. He’d laugh if he didn’t find it so pathetic.
But — the smile — it’s all he saw in the darkness behind his eyelids. Naruto had looked at him with an emotion he couldn’t place — an almost tender sort of fondness.
He heard Naruto go, leaving him with that stupid image of his stupid smile. He didn’t need his Sharingan to commit it to memory. He could never forget it.