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Free Kittens

Summary:

Bruce sees Dick's friends. Selina sees a box of kittens.

Notes:

I gotta say, I don't know much about the JL or the Titans, but I hope you like this!

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Work Text:

“Selina, no.”

“Selina, yes.

His wife’s eyes gleamed as she looked around the Tower living room.

“Selina, we are here to pick up our kids.” Bruce rubbed the bridge of his nose. He’d never won one of these debates. He had to win this one, though.

“They can all be our kids if we try hard enough,” Selina said, clearly very satisfied with her solution.

“They have parents, Selina. And guardians.”

“But do they, though?”

“You can’t just steal kids who don’t have parents.”

“I have literally stolen three children, Bruce.”

…she had literally stolen three children.

At that moment, Tim looked up, and his entire face lit up. “Mom! Dad! Come look what we’re doing!”

At first, Bruce thought they were building a lego set or maybe doing a puzzle, but the manic glee on Cass and Jason’s faces dispelled that thought immediately. Dick and the other Titans watched with rapt curiosity.

“If that’s another death ray—”

“It’s not a death ray!” Jason, budding politician that he was, protested.

“Jason—”

Selina grinned. “Wait a minute, Bruce. I want to see what it does.”

Half an hour and a small fire later, and Bruce had completely forgotten about the conversation with Selina. Selina, on the other hand, had not.

 

“I see no problem with this plan,” Selina said firmly.

Dinah frowned. “You don’t think Deathstroke would be at all upset about you adopting his kid? You don’t think his ex-wife would have something to say about that?”

Selina scoffed. She was surrounded by cowards. “You sound just like Bruce. He’s already with the Titans! Why does it matter if we just officially ste—adopt, adopt him?”

Dinah clearly was not a fan of the idea. Dammit, why was no one supportive here? Tim. Tim was supportive of the plan.

“Why Joey, anyways? Why not…” Dinah tilted her head in consideration. “…Kori? Her family is less likely to try to kill you, and I’m sure she would be happy if you adopted her.”

“Because that would make it incest if Dick marries her,” Selina pointed out. She fully intended to acquire Kori, but she was willing to play the long game.

“You could adopt Raven?”

“I asked, but she refused.” Selina could wear her down, though.

“Wally?”

“Barry and Iris are doing fine with him.” For now.

“Donna?”

“She said she’s allergic to men.” Selina had suggested medicine or an EpiPen, but Donna didn’t think those would work.

“Garth?”

“Arthur’s adopting him.” She’d been too late.

Dinah sighed and shook her head. “Have you told Bruce that you’re trying to adopt Deathstroke’s son?”

…She had sort of told him. “That’s never stopped me before.”

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