Chapter Text
How could you do this to yourself? How could you do it again?
You stared at the barley buds in your small patch of land. They wouldn’t grow unless...
You rubbed your stomach, holding back tears. The thought tore you up inside. There was... something inside you. A child? A monster. It was not supposed to exist, whatever it is, it shouldn’t exist. It was evil. It had to be. A child born of cadou, birthed from a whore and a madman. It could only be the devil.
...Heisenberg. He could not know. No one could but definitely not him. He was too possessive, too controlling, too selfish. He was a lapse in judgement. You both were drunk anyway, it wasn’t love making. Neither of you regarded the other as more than a playmate. He might not care about the bastard brewing in your womb. You would not bet on it though.
You needed a smoke. No...no more smoking. Maybe you had some pain killers for your head. You shut the backdoor and went to the bathroom. Why did you have so much salve? No pills though. You sighed, growing more upset. You looked into the window on the wall. The golden hue of your eyes glittered. A painful reminder of the last time you were happy.
No one could know.
Miranda would not get her hands on you again. She would not get this fucking thing in her blood-soaked hands. You could not protect your first baby. This time was different. You knew better than to trust a single soul... except The Duke.
You were his apprentice. If he trusted you with his money, you were valuable to him. Your secret would end with him. You trusted your mentor ever since he appeared in that alleyway in your hometown. You found it odd he wore such traditional clothes but when he proposed a life of adventure and the funds for it, nothing else mattered. You both traveled the world until ending up in the village.
It was not permanent at first. You came back every once in a while but now you’d hardly leave. It was profitable but not worth your freedom. You tried asking him about his sudden interest in the less than glamorous village. He was called back by his boss.
The village…it’s bleak and cold mostly. Summer was the only break from a wool coat. The people here were just as cold as the weather. They avoided you unless you had a package to drop off. Shops were suddenly closed once you walked in. Mothers moved their kids away from you.
It was the least warm welcome you received.
You ran the water and splashed your face.
You had no allies here. Nor anywhere else. Just you fending for yourself. As always.
With a bit too much force you close the tab. Shit, it would cause a drip if you weren’t careful. You didn’t want to fix it. You didn’t want to do much of anything anymore.
You needed advice. Desperately. You’d go to the Duke tomorrow with breakfast. Today was for wallowing in your own mistakes. And wallow you did. You sipped a glass of wine, dancing with yourself to a melody you loved. You wanted to cry and scream, break something and kill someone. You didn’t. You held yourself tight and swayed silently. No tears left your eyes but we each pirouette, you felt your grasp of your emotions crumble.
Until you did too.
You crumbled into a heap on the floor, deciding to sleep.
“My dear girl, you’re screwed.”
You sighed, glaring at your mentor stuffing his fat face. You wish he’d stop smiling as he delivered bad news. It was in his nature to be joyous but there must be a limit to his bliss.
You decided to forgo any scolding, you needed help, “Any other thoughts?”
“Plenty. None helpful.”
You could scream. You hoped he would have an answer but alas. This probably came as a surprise. It was a big task to fix your mess.
“Could we leave?” You asked, “Even if it is just the nearest city, I can survive anywhere.”
“No. I’m bound here for a while. My boss told me we’re waiting for someone to arrive.”
“Who!” Maybe you could write a letter, asking how long they planned to be.
He shook his head at your enthusiasm, “No idea. I’ll know when I meet him.”
What? The Duke was always mysterious but this was pushing it. Pushing you.
“I have to leave, lest Miranda find out.”
He looked down at you. He looked at you with all the love a parent could have. He found you as a teen and you grew in his care. With a sad smile, he spoke again.
“My dear. Miranda could find you wherever you go. She has informants, she can be anyone she wants to trap you.”
“Where do I go?” The question came shakily. You were frustrated beyond words.
He sighed, “I think you should go to the factory.”
You shook your head.
“No one knows it’s layout but him. It’s secure enough.”
“And the monsters? He lets lycans into the factory.”
He spoke softly, as to pacify your temper. “The man is not invincible. He has saferooms. All you need to do is stay there while pregnant while I find you a suitable home for you and the baby."
Baby. Had you considered this was your baby? Your first pregnancy you had. That sweet darling was your joy. Until Mother Miranda replaced your happiness with agony. This child…was this your second chance? You hadn’t thought of it so tenderly before. You were so scared, you forgot to acknowledge the living being in you was your own.
"How long..."
He pondered, "By the time the child is born, I'll have you a home."
Nine Months.
You couldn't live that long without help. Miranda would find out once more. She would capture you again, torture you another excruciating time, and take your only source of joy from your arms.
“I’ll go.” You placed a hand over your stomach, “Only for a chance to protect my baby.” You looked up, “I may not be back. He might kill me.”
“He can but I doubt he will.”
You scowled. You had enough of this.
“You two have history.” He continued.
“History remains just that. None of that matters anymore.”
The Duke hummed, “I think history played a large role in that child’s creation.”
You shrugged it off, not wanting to think about your decade long feud with Lord Bitchberg.
“Dear. Go.”
You could never refuse when he spoke so out of character. He was stern for once. Rarely did he speak to you like a superior. He practically let you run wild in your youth but during times like these he pulled your reins.
“Yes, sir.” You bowed your head, obediently, “I’ll be back. Hopefully.”
The Duke nodded. “I’ll see you soon, young one. Off you go.”
You headed towards forest path to the factory. You could not cross the bridge, he wasn’t expecting you. As the sun beamed down on you, you tipped your hat to block it out. It was getting warm. Summer just was the only time you could finally strip free from your coat. The mountain village never got too hot. Summers here were more fun because of that.
You remembered sneaking around with other teens to swim in the reservoir late at night. That was before they grew up, became parents, then decided you were not one them. All your friends married young, to them you were an old hag for passing 25 without a child. But it’s not like years later when you had a child, they were any more receptive.
Only place that treated you like a person was the speakeasy. Everyone was too drunk to care and too horny to dismiss you.
You entered the factory gates. Your nose scrunched as a gust of wind flew past you. Any hesitancy to go inside was blown away by the dust in your lungs.
You rang the hidden doorbell then banged against the metal garage door.
The buzz of the intercom came on, “I’m fucking busy. Scram.”
…
You jammed your finger relentlessly into the button with pure fury.
“I’m not fucking around!” He roared.
You gave him a second to cool down, probably breathe a sigh of relief. Yes, maybe he would think you gave up. He would be at peace again.
Poor him.
With a very sly grin, you held the ringer down making a long drawn out noise. You could play the waiting game. He couldn’t. His patience was already worn thin.
The garage doors cranked open. You smugly slipped inside the steel doors. Dusting yourself off, you turned to him.
“Are you out your fucking mind, whore!” He yelled, grabbing your arm.
You rolled your eyes, taking in his usual disheveled attire. He smelled of a fresh cigar. “We need to talk.” You said, simply. You tried to jerk your arm away only to be held in place.
His grip tightened in anger, “I’m busy! Do you not understand what busy means!”
His hand on your arm was making you just as pissed, “Clear your schedule then! We have to talk!” You yelled back at him.
“What about that’s causing so much commotion.”
You felt your heart sink into your stomach. It made you nauseous. You felt tears come to your eyes. Your arm shook. Heisenberg. You looked up to him. He just gave you a slight nod. It brought you to your senses a bit. You straightened yourself up. Turning to her, taking her in, it made you dizzy.
Heisenberg’s hand became an anchor, holding you up.
“Hello Mother Miranda.” You faked a smile. “If only I knew you were here, I’d have postponed my tirade.”
The woman in all her wretched glory smiled back at you. That deceitful little smile she does when she wants something. That wicked little smile she gave as she took your baby.
“Maybe I can help?” She asked.
She could help by letting you skin her alive.
“No, no, Mother. Heisenberg just forgot to pay for his shipment last time. The Duke plays no games with his Lei.”
She tilted her head, looking at her ‘son’. “Do you need more funds?”
“No. I’m fine.” He glanced at you, “Slipped my mind merely.”
“Debts ought to be paid.” She said in a way that rubbed you wrong, “Still in good health, child? No oddities?” Her eyes were on your again.
You gulped, “No. Not at all. My health is fine. I feel the exact same as before.” Before she turned you into a monster.
Miranda simply nodded with a low hum, “Interesting.”
Oh no, no. No! Quickly you corrected yourself, “Well that’s not entirely true…” You began to change the story, “My wounds heal faster. I cut my palm yesterday, all better.”
That did dull her imagination a bit, “That’s normal. I suppose the cadou did not take differently to you.”
You feigned surprised, “Really? Oh. Then the experiment was pointless.” You felt Heisenberg jerk your arm to say shut up.
Miranda turned from you, “I know it seems that way now yet maybe in time, your purpose will be far beyond what either of us thought. You may become useful.”
With that said, her feathers encapsulated her and she flew from the factory as a crow. In a hurry you slipped from Heisenberg’s grasp. You followed to the door, watching her fly towards her quarters. You had to make sure she was gone. You watched until she disappeared along the horizon.
Your body sunk in relief.
The bitch!
“I’ll crush you.” You whispered, glaring at the horizon until anger clouded your vision. You slammed the doors shut, shutting her out. You crumpled to the ground, leaning against the cold metal. It felt just like the table she put you on when she ripped out your hopes and dreams.
“Hey.”
You snapped from the memory. You noticed a gloved hand holding out a cigarette, “Here.”
You looked at him seeing him kneeling to your level.
The gesture just seemed to make you feel worse.
“I can’t.”
He raised a brow. You could smoke a pack a day if he remembered correctly.
“Hn.” He pocketed it in his dirty slacks. “Legs work?”
You nodded, even if it wasn’t true, you wouldn’t be pitied by Heisenberg of all people. You pushed yourself to get up and slowly you did.
“We…we need to talk.” You reiterated, this time somberly.
“Seemingly so. Let’s hit the usual spot.”
You followed him to the first floor. You knew the way from your occasional pity party. The only way either of you could be cordial was over a drink. You supposed that’s where the problem came from.
You sat in your usual spot on the couch. He leaned against his workbench. With a curious glance, he nodded to you.
Talk.
You sighed, “You should sit down.”
He rolled his eyes, “I’m not easily shocked, hun. Lay it on me.”
That made you scoff. If you thought it was trivial, you wouldn’t even be here.
“Well. I need your help.”
He laughed, “Want me to seal Diana in her house again?”
It had been years since you pulled a prank like that. The thought certainly brought a smile to your face.
“No, we’re not children anymore. Especially not you, old man.”
Heisenberg smirked, “Yet you think these old withered bones can help you. That’s selfish of you.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “That husband of yours out of commission? Ask him.”
Your eyes widened, “What?”
“I never cared for that bastard. I get you married him for appearances but he sucks.”
He didn’t know?
“Heisenberg…my husband died.”
He slumped, “He did?”
“While I was with Miranda. She sent him to the castle.” You grimaced, “So yes, he’s dead.”
The gears in his head were visibly turning. He was searching his mental rolodex for an appropriate condolence.
“That sucks.” He settled on.
Your face went deadpan. He was so childish.
“Explains it though.”
“Explains what?”
“Why you slept with me.” He continued, “I asked you to come over after you got married and you were acting like a pious wife.”
“I was a pious wife, asshole.” You grumbled. You gave up everything when you got married, mostly due to being well into pregnancy. You were still ready to become a good housewife. You were ready to give up your mischief.
“You happy he’s gone? You’re free again.” He grinned, in that same boyish way from his youth.
You were glad to be rid of your husband but…
“He gave me a gift I never knew I wanted. I may not have loved him but he gave me the love of my life.” You choose not to look at the man before you.
He wouldn’t understand. You didn’t before your first baby. You saw women coddling their children and scoffed refusing to be held down by any being. When time came to put your money where your mouth was, you couldn’t keep your word. You wanted nothing more than to make your darling the center of your world.
“Did…” You looked at him again. He pulled his hat down over his eyes, “Did Miranda take your kid?” He mumbled.
You sat back, relaxing into the couch, “No. Stillborn.” You laughed, “My kid was so smart before even being born!” You covered your eyes from the light, “Biggest fuck you ever.” You felt tears.
“Coolest baby ever.”
You resisted crying by laughing, “They were. So awesome.” You sniffled, “So cool.”
“Wouldn’t expect less from your kid.”
You nodded, “Yea.”
This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. You had to change the subject.
“I’ve been given a second chance though.” You looked at him.
He raised a brow, catching your drift. A scowl spread onto his face like his heard bad news, “You leaving here?”
“Can’t. Only the Duke can travel outside and he’s bound here.”
“You plan on hiding?”
You nodded.
“Good. Gotta be somewhere no one knows about.”
“I know a place.”
Heisenberg grunted in response. He shrugged. “Thanks for telling me, I guess.”
He was really slow sometimes. This time you wouldn’t spell it out for him.
“You told anyone else?” He pulled a cigar from his pocket. With a lazy hand, he blindly grabbed at his lighter.
“No.” You lied, staring at him for some reaction.
He chuckled, lighting his cigar, “At least tell the kid’s father first.” He shook his head in amusement, putting his smoke to his mouth.
You simply watched. You saw his amusement turn to confusion to shock. His cigar fell from his lips. His eyes landed on you as his shoulders shook in uncontrolled emotion.
“No…” He muttered, “I…”
You sighed, “You won’t be a father. Think of yourself as a sperm donor.” You stood up, going to offer some comfort. You didn’t want to fry his brain before telling him you were moving in-
His hammer flew past you to his palm. You felt your hair swoosh with how close it came. He pointed it at you, face full of distrust, “Prove it!” He barked like a beaten shelter dog.
In a way you could sympathize, the news wasn’t particularly good for him. That had nothing to do with you if he was upset. You glared at the weapon in your face. This was another reminder how childish he was.
“You deaf?!" He caught your attention again, “Fucking prove it!” He demanded it with such conviction, it was like he wanted you to pull the pregnancy test from your pocket.
“There’s a hammer in my face and I’d like it gone.”
Heisenberg glared at you a moment more before lowering the weapon. You noted he didn’t drop it.
“I used the barley trick.” You explained.
He scoffed, “That’s mumbo-jumbo.”
That got a laugh from you. The sound made his shoulders slump. At least now he didn’t resemble a cornered alley cat. The tension had dissipated for the most part.
“We are surrounded by werewolves, vampires, and fish folk, I wouldn’t be so quick to condemn it. I need a doctor but…”
He was no idiot, he easily shared your thoughts, “I don’t trust Miranda either.” He rubbed his temples, “I can make an ultrasound but we’d have to wait. Or,” He trailed off. He obviously had something in mind.
You signaled for him to go on.
“Lycans. They’re like dogs. They…sense changes so they may be able to tell.”
You could only manage to blink.
…
…
…
“So, you’re trying to kill me off so you don’t have to deal with me?” You concluded. He’d throw you to the wolves and forget you ever existed.
His face turned red, he was embarrassed and mad, “Did I say that, idiot!”
You crossed your arms, “I can read between the lines, asshole!”
“I’m being serious!” He swung his hammer into the cabinet beside him to relieve his need to punch something, the noise making you jump, “Those noses of theirs pick up everything.”
You did not have a hammer to bang your emotions out so you scratched at your arm nervously, “They eat people!” You exclaimed, knowing he forgot the obvious problem.
“You’re not human anymore!” He stomped on the cigar burning his shoe. When he looked up, saw your distraught face, he corrected himself, “You’re barely human just like myself and those other freaks. They’ll see you as a superior. Fuck it, even if they don’t, I’ll be right there.” He briskly grabbed his keys and flask.
He planned to go now?
“Can we think of other options?” You suggested, fearing for your organs.
“No. This is quick and relatively easy.”
“For you! What if they bite me!” You quite liked your appendages where there were.
He quickly walked back to you. He hovered a few inches above you, his eyes were covered by his dark sunglasses, “Listen, I don’t want to even think about the unethical experiment happening in your womb without knowing if the problem exists or not.”
You shared his thought. If it could confirm whether or not this was all a misunderstanding… you’d try at least.
“Fine.” You agreed, “I trust you’ll keep your word and protect me.” You pushed him away so you could walk to the exit, “Otherwise, I’m castrating you.”
Heisenberg laughed. “You wouldn’t dare. We had fun last time. Remember, sweetheart?”
“All I remember is your poor performance of pulling out.” You continued leaving out the work station.
His laughter died out, “You’re a real bitch sometimes.” He grumbled.
“I’m always a bitch, you chose when to let it affect you.”
The bickering continued for the entire trip. You were sure you two could argue about anything. Even the things agreed upon somehow became a fight. The man met his match in terms of grouchiness.
The both of you lowered your heated discussion on the possibility of ghosts to a whisper as you passed the village. He had a reputation to uphold. Lord Heisenberg, the reclusive madman. All true. You however knew him to be less insane and more of a tool. Maybe his short temper was to be feared but you found him to be mostly bark instead of bite.
The chatter stopped the closer you got to the destination. As you approached the stronghold, you suddenly felt so small. The howls drew your attention in all directions. You weren’t sure which way to be wary of.
“Stand tall. They’re beneath you.”
You glanced at Heisenberg. He seemed unbothered by the creatures ready to pounce. You weren’t going to let him show you up. You both had a rivalry of sorts. It was of who had the worst reputation. He being a madman, yourself a whore. Who could be feared most? It wasn’t even ground. People feared for their lives around him. People feared for their livelihoods around you.
You were a force to be reckoned with. You weren’t as strong as he was but you were cunning. One wrong move and you’d pull out the gun the Duke gave you from under your skirt.
The hissing grew closer as you both entered the structure, climbing to the top. It appeared you both were merely staying on the outdoor part of the stronghold. At the highest point Heisenberg slammed his hammer into the crest on the wall.
“Get out here, you furry dumbasses.”
Immediately you heard hundreds of footsteps from every direction. Around you they gathered in a frenzy. From above the gate, you could see a flood of creatures below you. They howled and groaned like animals awaiting prey.
A growl became from beside you. You involuntarily took a step back into Heisenberg. He held you in place. You shirked from him, wanting to run. There was nowhere to run. You felt your knees tremble. You saw what these creatures did to livestock. You heard what happened to unlucky hunters venturing too far outside the village.
Heisenberg held you firmly, “Stand strong, will ya!” He waved his hammer in your peripheral as a reminder, “I’ll knock the fucker into space if he goes wild.”
The creature sniffed the air around you. Slowly it crawled forward like any curious animal. Any movement would have scared him off. Soon enough you were face to face with the grotesque beast. It smelled of dirt and blood so strongly your eyes watered. The most frightening thing about it is how human it looked from here. How you probably knew this person before.
With a few sniffs, it suddenly dropped, eye level with your stomach. It placed its ear right on you. It…was listening.
A loud whine escaped the creature, drawing the rest forward. Heisenberg brandished his hammer but none of them charged him. They …weren’t hostile. Oddly enough they looked curious.
The creature at your side, nuzzled your stomach much like a cat would. It rubbed its face along your shirt. It’s fellow monsters obediently sitting and crouching to watch with eager whines.
“This isn’t normal.” Heisenberg whispered.
You figured.
Lycans were pack predators. They only enjoyed the company of each other. However, lycans do not have mothers, they are creations of cadou. The fact they felt comfortable, even affection towards your stomach specifically, meant they found their kin inside you.
“I think this proves it.” You whispered back to Heisenberg. You looked over your shoulder at the man. He stared out into the hundreds of lycans all waiting their chance to be next. Whatever monster he created, it was already rearing its head into this world. It made it's presence known.
“We… really have a lot to talk about.”
You saw the fear on his face. You mirrored the sentiment. This would not be easy.
"We only have to make it nine months. I'll be gone afterwards." You felt his hands tighten on your arms. It felt like he might throw you into the sea of beasts, "Please." You whispered, "I can't go back to Miranda. She can't have this child too."
Something in what you said struck him. You didn't know what part but he pulled your back to his chest, "Nine months." He repeated.
That's all you had to survive.