Chapter Text
“Uh, Deku?”
“Yes, Kacchan?”
“Is that…?”
“...unfortunately.”
“...so he decided to try out villainy?”
“Apparently.”
The blonde huffed before pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation. “Your damn dad really needs to stop encouraging self exploration.”
Letting out a small sigh and ignoring the panic from the class around him, he quips, “You do realize that if he did that, I wouldn’t be in the hero course, right?”
“...fuck.”
“Yeeeep.” Jogging forward, he grabbed their teacher’s arm before the man could leap into the chaos below. “Aizawa-sensei, you need to let me handle this.”
The man looked at him like he just grew another head. “Midoriya, you need to step back-”
“Uh, yeah, sorry, but no.” Yanking the man back by the sleeve of his costume, he watched the man stumble, surprised by the strength the boy possessed. “Just...watch. And don’t arrest me, please?”
Aizawa’s eyes narrowed. “What are you doing-”
Izuku held up a hand to him before turning back to the crowd of villains forming below at the warp gate. Then, he took a deep breath and screamed, “TOMURA, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?”
Several of his classmates gasped in shock, and Izuku could vaguely hear a few try to rush forward only for Bakugou’s voice to intervene and tell them to just watch. After a beat, he could distantly see the villain’s leader tense before cupping his hands around his mouth and yelling back, “ZUKU, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WITH ALL MIGHT’S CLASS?”
“THAT’S BECAUSE THIS IS MY CLASS, YOU IDIOT!” he shouted back, clearly irritated. His classmates were whispering in a panic behind him, despite Bakugou telling them to shush. “CAN’T YOU AND DAD KEEP YOUR GRUDGE MATCH WITH ALL BITCH AWAY FROM MY CLASSMATES?”
Someone began aggressively coughing and wheezing at that, another muffling laughter while Kaminari spluttered out a shocked and whispered, “All Bitch?!”
“WHY THE FUCK IS UA LETTING THE BLONDE IDIOT TEACH FIRST YEARS?!” came the distant reply. The villains around Tomura seemed to be growing restless and confused. “I THOUGHT HE WOULD TEACH OLDER BRATS, NOT-” Throwing his hands up in the air, he shouted, “FUCK THIS, I’M HAVING ‘GIRI GRAB YOU. HOLD ON.”
Not a moment later, a portal appeared below Izuku’s feet, causing him to let out a yelp of surprise as he vaguely heard his classmates and teacher shout for him. Falling through the portal and landing on the hard packed dirt in a crouch, the boy groaned in mild pain, glaring up at the taller boy. Grumbling as he rose up, brushing off dirt from his gym uniform, he snipped, “You could have given me a moment to explain to them. Everyone is losing their minds up there.”
“Meh, they’ll be fine. Your pet brat can explain,” the villain drawled, strolling up to the smaller boy. Patting the boy on the head, he grinned viciously from behind his hand mask. “I haven’t gotten to speak with you in a while. I would prefer not to do it by yelling across a stadium.”
“Young Tomura,” Kurogiri interrupted. “Eraserhead has engaged with the crowd of villains, and the students appear to be attempting to escape with Thirteen.”
Scratching absently at his neck, Shigaraki muttered, “Damn it, where’s All Might? The game is glitched, the quest board said he would be here today.”
“He got tied up in hero work,” Izuku replied with a roll of the eyes. “He won’t be here, now, can you please go ? Damn it, I’m gonna have to explain this to all of them.”
Scowling, Tomura snapped, “Those idiots actually let that man train first years with no teaching experience. That’s like using the final boss in the tutorial level.”
“I don’t make the staffing decisions,” came the terse reply. “Now, can you take your NPC fodder and scram? And maybe not injure my teacher or classmates. I really like them! They’re nice!”
Seeing the pout from the smaller boy, Tomura found himself caving, but not without great reluctance. “Damn it, I was looking forward to making this my debut with killing All Might.” Gesturing towards the Noumu beside him, he whines, “I even built a custom character and buffed up the stats just for him!”
Izuku sighed, feeling so very tired. “The man is an idiot, yes, but murder? Really? Isn’t that a bit extreme? And did you have to do it with teens around?”
Tomura looked ready to say something else, only to have to dodge a villain being literally thrown at him. Staring in awe at the Pro standing a few feet away, the one glaring daggers at him, Shigarki could not help but grin maniacally. “Wow, Eraserhead is just so cool .”
“Step away from my student,” the man snapped back, ignoring the compliment. Readying his capture weapon, he dropped into a fighting stance. “I won’t ask again.”
Looking between Midoriya and the Pro, the scowl fell back on his face. “I’m not going to hurt my baby brother.”
“...your what ?” Turning his glare to Izuku who literally squeaked from the look, he snapped, “Problem Child, explain.”
“...Nedzu knows and said to tell you that this is a Code Almond situation.”
Tomura looked at him like he grew another head. “What the fuck is a Code Almond?”
“Something better than a Code Walnut.”
“...oh for the love of- ” Taking a deep breath, Aizawa composed himself. “Problem Child. You have a lot to explain later.” Turning a very stern glare at the villain, he ordered, “Get the fuck out of here before I arrest you along with all the other villains scattered through here.”
“...you’re letting me go?...”
“Unfortunately.”
He blinked at Aizawa. Then looking back at Izuku he goes, “ What the fuck is a Code Almond?! ”
Izuku just shrugged.
“If you aren’t gone within the next thirty seconds, I will change my damn mind,” the Erasure hero interjected.
“Fine, fine! Sheesh.” Gesturing towards Kurogiri, Tomura gave Izuku one more head pat. “Be good, brat. Call me and Dad once you get a minute or if you need a lawyer.”
Izuku paled. “Oh god, the last time I called him about a lawyer he leveled that police precinct.”
“Exactly.” Stepping towards the portal that the warper just made, he waved at the tense and confused teacher. “Bye Eraserhead. You better take care of my baby brother. Or else.”
“Tomura-nii!” Izuku whined in an almost embarrassed tone. “Don’t threaten my teacher! Aizawa-sensei is nice!”
“You think I’m nice?”
“Izuku has low standards,” the villain replied. “Bye, Zu.” Then, the man finally stepped through the portal with Kurogiri following after.
After that was silence, besides the distant groans of villains in pain. Izuku awkwardly stared at his teacher, before looking around at the villains staring in complete and utter confusion and shock. “Uh, I can take the ones on the left?...”
“ Problem Child -”
“Would you rather I not help?!” The teacher looked ready to agree, but then Izuku turned towards the strange creature that had been next to the villain and shouted, “ Shit, he forgot the fucking noumu!” Burying his face in his hands, Izuku groaned. “Oh, dad’s gonna be pissed .”
“What-”
“The class has been gone for, what, five minutes?” Izuku muttered, looking panicked as he pulled out his phone. “Shit, still no signal, damn it Tomura, this thing better not have preset commands.”
Aizawa had no clue what was going on. “Preset what ?”
“That noumu is, apparently, designed to kill All Might,” Izuku explains to a wide eyed Aizawa. “So, all we have to do to not risk setting it off is to make sure that it does not see-”
The doors to the USJ smash open. “ I AM HERE .”
The noumu screeches. Izuku looked like he craved an early death or a bucket of coffee as he took off after the beast that seemed intent on killing the Symbol of Peace, calling after it and whistling as if that monster was a god damned dog. Aizawa suddenly felt twenty years older and craved death and coffee, too.