Chapter Text
“Your phone,” his mother said, reaching her hand out expectantly.
The car ride had been quiet. Wilhem had spent most of it staring out the window, feeling empty. He tried not to think about Simon. He definitely tried not to think about what he had said to Simon before leaving. But, well. What always happens when someone says, ‘Don’t think of a white bear’?
They arrived at their destination faster than Wilhem had been prepared for. Didn’t it normally take longer? He blinked up in confusion at his mother; he honestly hadn’t been expecting her to greet him right as they arrived at the palace.
“Um, sorry?”
“Your phone.” She extended her arm even farther in his direction.
“Why?”
Her face betrayed nothing, as per usual.
“New safety procedure. You’ll get it back tonight.”
Wilhem stared at her, trying to determine if she was telling the truth. He cast a quick glance at Malin, but her face was also impassive. Blank. Impersonal.
Wilhelm sighed, fished his phone out of his pocket, and deposited it into her insistent palm.
She didn’t say thank you.
They all headed into the palace, silent. Once inside, Queen Kristina immediately started discussing Christmas celebration preparations with one of her aides. She walked off, not bothering to spare Wilhelm a glance. He looked over at Malin instead, who looked back at him. She appeared to be more open now. Less stiff.
“I’m just going to head to my room and unpack,” he said quietly, trying to avoid having his voice echo around them. The vaulted ceilings tended to amplify every little sound. Malin nodded and went off to do whatever she did when she wasn’t babysitting him. Wilhelm sighed. Well, at least someone else had dealt with his luggage. It wouldn’t have been fun lugging it all up the stately staircase that unwound in front of him.
***
His room seemed larger than it had last time.
He went over to his bags and started to put things away, slowly, because what else was there for him to do today? Perhaps his mother would come around with an itinerary. Or, well. An aide would. He sighed again and kept unpacking. When his bag was almost empty, Wilhelm realized something that made him pause.
Where was his laptop?
He was certain that he’d packed it. Hadn’t he? Yes, he had, right after his clothes. He remembered it clearly. So where was it? A cold feeling settled in his chest.
He didn’t have his phone. He didn’t have his laptop.
He was alone.
Wilhelm stumbled out of his room, his heart starting to pound. It didn’t take him long to find Malin; she never drifted too far away from him.
“Malin!” She spun around, taken aback by his tone. “Who brought my things up to my room?”
“Sundberg, I believe. Why? What’s wrong?”
“My laptop’s missing. I’m sure I packed it.”
Malin’s face closed off again. She hesitated for a moment, then said, “As the Queen mentioned earlier, there are more safety protocols now. Your phone and laptop and being… screened.” She spoke in her professional, diplomatic voice. It sounded rehearsed.
Wilhelm felt sick.
“Screened? For what?” Wilhelm’s heart started pounded even harder.
“It’s simply to ensure everyone’s safety, Wilhelm.” Malin looked a bit guilty, and she was clearly dodging the question, and Wilhelm had a sinking feeling that she wasn’t going to budge on this.
“Am I going to get them back?” Wilhelm knew that he sounded panicked, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He tried to regulate his breathing.
“Yes, of course.” Malin looked quite relieved to be telling him something positive.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.” Well, she certainly sounded resolute.
“And they won’t- they won’t, like, do anything to them?”
Malin went back to looking guilty. Shit.
“I believe they will… monitor things. For your safety.”
“Monitor things? What does that even mean?” Wilhelm was aware that his voice was rising, but he couldn’t control it. His mother was going to spy on him? Did she really distrust him that much?
“I’m not sure, Wilhelm. I’m sorry.” She sounded sorry, too. It didn’t help.
Wilhelm stared at her for a moment before turning around and heading back to his room. He thought he heard her call his name, but he didn’t stop.
Wilhelm hurriedly barricaded himself in his ensuite bathroom. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. His chest hurt, and his eyes were prickling, and he couldn’t fucking breathe. He kept rubbing his chest with his hand, but it wasn’t working, it wasn’t helping. He was dying. He was alone and he was dying and nobody cared-
A hand landed on his shoulder. Wilhelm looked up, startled, into Malin’s concerned face.
“Breathe with me, Wilhelm. It’s alright, you can do it.” Malin started taking exaggerated breaths, inhaling and exhaling slowly, and counting out loud. In, out; in, out; in, out.
It helped, eventually.
“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. It’s not- I can’t, Malin.” Wilhelm knew he was babbling, but he couldn’t stop. “I really can’t, I can’t- I shouldn’t have to- I can’t, Malin!” When Wilhelm finally looked up at her, she looked nothing short of alarmed.
“Don’t say that, Wilhelm. It’ll be alright. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but this is temporary. You’ll be alright, Wilhelm. You will.” She rubbed his back soothingly, but he didn’t believe her. He couldn’t.
He was tired.
“Okay.” Quiet, so quiet.
He was lying.
“Good, Wilhelm. That’s good.”
“I’m- I’m fine now, thank you. Sorry Malin.”
He was lying.
“It’s alright, Wilhelm. Do you need anything? Water?”
“I- sure. Yes. Thank you.” He waited, sitting on the cold tile floor.
She pressed a glass into his hand. He drank it dutifully.
Always dutiful.
“Do you need anything else?” Her voice sounded like it was underwater.
“No, I’m- I’m good. Thank you.”
He was lying.
“Alright. Do you want company?”
“No, I think, um. I think I’ll take a nap. I’m tired.” That was true, at least.
“Okay. Let me know if you need me.” Her voice was warm. Maternal.
Wilhelm’s eyes prickled again.
“I will. Thank you.”
She left. Wilhelm slowly got up and climbed into his bed. He tried to sleep, but he couldn’t.
Wilhelm wasn’t sure how much time passed, but he eventually heard a knock on his door.
“Yes?”
A man entered his room, holding his phone and laptop. “We’ve finished securing your devices.”
“What does that mean?” Wilhelm knew he sounded accusatory, but, well. What did they expect?
The man looked uncomfortable. “Um. I believe our cybersecurity team will be monitoring your devices. For your safety, of course.”
A pause.
“Of course.” He could sound diplomatic too, when he wanted.
The man jerkily approached his bed and deposited his phone and laptop on the nightstand. He bowed awkwardly in Wilhelm’s general direction before leaving in a hurry.
Wilhelm looked at his nightstand for a long moment. Finally, he unlocked his phone and stared at his home screen.
How much were they monitoring him? Could they see every keystroke, or just what he posted? Could they see all the websites he visited? Even if he used incognito mode?
He had no way of knowing.
Wilhelm ended up going to bed without looking anything up, or posting, or messaging anyone. (Though he did read through Simon’s messages again before succumbing to sleep.)