Chapter Text
Zhongli thinks of a red scarf flowing freely in the wind and feels numb.
He puts down a small basket filled with fruits and looks at the apples. He can’t quite remember why he picked them up from below that tree. Maybe there was something about the way the sun was setting today that made him do that. And Maybe it was due to the memories that flooded his mind when he noticed their juicy color. It was very rare of him to act so mindlessly, and it annoyed him a bit, because recently it’s been happening more often than he’d like to admit.
Zhongli thinks about a gloved hand, picking an apple from a tree and tossing it in his direction and he feels lonely.
He sighs and looks at a building in front of him. The building he can call home. It’s dirty and ruined and begs for a thorough renovation and he knows there is a lot of work for him to do if he wants to live in decent conditions. There are fallen leaves scattered everywhere, the fence is broken in many places and the window frame got smashed when he was fighting the treasure hoarders occupying this space. He looks up at the roof that definitely saw better days and then down again at the bags left by the thieves when they were running away hurriedly.
Zhongli thinks of an excited voice begging Aether for yet another fight and the silence irritates him.
There is nothing he can do about all these feelings inside of him, so he forces himself to swallow them once again. He has many other things he should be focusing on right now. After all, his mortal life has just begun, so, naturally, there is a lot he has to learn. Dwelling on the past, no matter how fresh this past is, won’t get him anywhere. It wasn’t the first friend he lost, so he should be used to that already. But this time it all was his own fault and maybe that’s why he has such a trouble keeping his brain occupied with different things.
He tries to pointlessly reason with himself as he opens the door to his home and gets welcomed first by the unpleasant smell, and then by the mess inside. Zhongli wrinkles his nose, deciding to keep the door open for a while, in hopes the stench will air out before it gets too cold outside. He makes a step forward, taking in his surroundings, and immediately regrets it. It is getting dark pretty quickly but it can’t stop him from noticing all the dirt on the floor and walls as well as those weird, suspiciously dark stains on the bed. So he’s forced to find a replacement for it for tonight. Very well, he states internally with visible displeasure, nobody promised me becoming a mortal will be an easy task. He starts by lighting a small candle he found on the nightstand. Although he expected that, the sorry state of his new abode makes itself even more noticeable in the dim, trembling light. Not really wanting to waste time, he begins cleaning, but it doesn’t seem to go the way he planned. It was the first time he was forced to perform such a mundane labor and honestly, he’s not even sure where to start. All his life he’s been slaughtering countless monsters and gods without breaking a sweat and now here he is, completely lost and faced with the unknown duty of turning this place into a liveable space. He remembers at least twenty three different methods of getting rid of wine stains from bed sheets, clothes and furniture and around twice as many ways to make wooden floor shiny again but that’s just it. Knowledge. He has no practical experience in housekeeping and something tells him, that if he tries it without supervision, he’s going to make his situation even worse and he really, really doesn’t want that to happen. He feels ashamed, admitting that he’s unable to do something as simple as cleaning all by himself, but it’s not like he can lie to himself.
Zhongli thinks of a loud, melodious laugh that would certainly be heard right now if he only had his dear friend next to himself and smiles sadly.
Alright, he thinks with more conviction this time, I can’t just stand here and wish for work to be done by itself. And so he takes off his long coat and folds it neatly on the chair and then he rolls up the sleeves of his shirt. He takes the dirty mattress off the bed, noticing that the wooden frame is, in fact, still in a good shape. Relieved that he won’t be forced to pay for a new one, he takes the mattress out and puts it behind his home so that he can take a proper care of it tomorrow. He doubts it will ever be usable again, so he will need to think of a way to get rid of it completely. He wonders if the red stains are really blood or something else. When he’s still in front of his new home, he spots a crumbling shed a few meters away. It’s barely standing, but it’s not that that catches his attention. The roof is made of straw. With a little bit of luck on his side, he could make a makeshift bedding out of it. It wasn’t a long-term solution, but it’ll have to do for the time being. Zhongli really hopes the roof isn’t wet or rotten. It’s been a long time since it rained last time, but he can never be too sure. The ruined walls made from wooden planks don’t need much force to completely dismantle and soon dry straw falls on his head and he sneezes loudly when dust irritates his nostrils. Zhongli looks around discretely to check if anybody saw that and sights with relief when realizes he’s alone. Right. The only people that live close enough to be his neighbors are the two youngsters that he passed by on his way here. Other than that, the area is quiet and empty.
It feels weird, he feels weird. Out of place, even. He got so used to busy, loud streets of Liyue, that now, surrounded by nothing more than occasional noises made by small, wild animals and rustling trees, he wonders how long it’ll take him to adapt to his new life. The city is not so far away though, and he’s going to be there every day anyway, so he won’t miss the hustle too much.
Zhongli shakes the rest of the dry straw off his hair and picks up a pile that formed on the ground after he destroyed the roof. It smells like something that stayed on the sun for too long but he doesn’t really mind. It’s not like he has much of a choice, so he takes it inside and puts it on the bed frame. The floor is still covered in dust and muddy footprints and he realizes he should have taken care of it earlier if he wanted to sleep on it. With lips formed into a thin line, he grabs an old broom and starts sweeping the floor. It quickly turns out he used too much force and all the dust lands on his clothes and face and he sneezes again. Is it possible for a former god to develop an allergy? He is way more delicate during his second attempt and this time he succeeds. He sweeps the dirt outside in hopes the wind will take care of it and begins looking for a bucket or… anything that he could use to transport water in it. Zhongli walks into the kitchen and starts rummaging through mostly empty cabinets trying to ignore the annoying sensation in his nose. It’s hard to tolerate the dust and, really, he didn’t expect treasure hoarders to be neat freaks but he hoped that their quarters would look more presentable. He grimaces, seeing a bowl with half-rotten fruits. When he looks closer, he notices a long trail of little, black ants climbing the ceramic and spreading over decaying sunsettias. I suppose that was to be expected, he comments calmly, looking at the insects with wonder in his eyes, but I don’t think I’m very knowledgeable in terms of pest control. Finally he manages to find a wooden bucket and, happy he could leave the stuffy kitchen, walks outside. The evening air is definitely colder than he expected and he shivers a little before making his was to a nearby river. Winters in Liyue never really bothered him but now his body is weaker, more vulnerable to temperature change. Even if it’s still remotely warm and there is no chance of snowfall, he starts to miss summer. He fills the bucket as fast as he can and makes his way home, thinking about how late it already was and how much work there was still before him.
Zhongli stops just before the entrance to his home. He notices something different. He carefully puts the bucket on the paved entry and walks closer to take a better look at a brown, ceramic container in a familiar shape. It stands next to the basket with apples he almost forgot about. There is also a small note, tucked carefully underneath the jug. Intrigued, he takes the piece of paper and starts to read.
We are sure this is unexpected, but please, don’t be wary of this little gift. It is merely a token of our gratitude for chasing away the group of thugs that’s been disrupting this area. We know it’s not much, but if you ever find yourself in need of help or assistance, don’t hesitate to walk down the road and knock at the door of the first (and only) house that you see,
Zixin and Liling, neighbors
When he’s done, he smiles to himself and takes the wine and apples home. This is surely a surprise but a welcomed one. He never realized that his actions were observed and, what’s more, appreciated. Maybe he should visit those people and get to know them a little better? After all, the three of them lived in wilderness, between Liyue Harbor and Qingxu Pool. It would certainly be more beneficial to befriend the only humans that are close by in case any of them will need help in the future.
With that in mind, Zhongli starts scrubbing the floor from dried mud and other dirt that he’d rather not focus too much on. It’s a tiring and ungrateful job, he notices, when almost two hours later the only thing he achieved was making the water in the bucket murky and getting his clothes wet. The wooden panels, however, look only a little bit better. At least he successfully wiped off the biggest stains. The rest needed to be treated with harsher methods, but he really doubted he’ll find a soap or anything close to it here, so he gave up. Tired, soaked and panting, he sits on the floor and sighs once again. He never realized that keeping a house clean and tidy required so much effort. And he’s not even in the middle of it! Resigned, he decides it’s enough for today and leaves his house to get some wood that he can use to light up the fireplace. It really was getting colder and colder and his wet shirt isn’t helping him with staying warm. Zhongli takes the planks that were left after he destroyed that shed and goes back inside. With a little help of adeptal magic he manages to light a small fire and soon the room is filled with golden, flickering light. He smiles to himself, watching the flames for a while and then turns back to a big wardrobe standing in the back of the room. Is there a chance he’ll find there a blanket and something dry to wear or are his expectations too high? Zhongli opens the door and regrets it immediately, because all he sees is a messy pile of cloth. Well, at least he did find something. He’s about to touch the soft heap when a strange smell of old clothes hits his nose. He grimaces and takes a step backward, deciding he’ll take care of it tomorrow. It was too late for doing laundry and he was too tired to even try. The only thing he can do right now is taking his shirt of and hanging it close to the fireplace in hopes it will dry out until morning, so he’ll have something decent to wear.
More adeptal magic would surely make things easier for him, but he chose not use it too often. If he wants to live like a mortal, he should try to wean himself off depending on his inhuman abilities. It’s tempting, he’s aware of it. During his whole, long life, he used magic every day for many purposes, so trying to stop himself from doing exactly that every time a trouble occurs will be a hard job for his instincts.
Then, he places bamboo mats on the floor and covers them with the straw. He pats it, trying to make it look a little more comfortable and sits down on it with wine in his hand. There are no clean cups in the house, so he has no other choice than to drink in quite inappropriate way – straight from the jug. Truly the mortal experience, he thinks, remembering watching as once his people did exactly that. They seemed pretty carefree and even offered him some after they noticed him staring, but he declined the offer.
He takes the first sip and relishes the spicy taste of the alcohol. It’s nothing fancy and he knows it just by smelling it, but it is a gift he received and he’s not going to let it go to waste. That would be very rude of him, even if the givers couldn’t see him throwing it away. It is homemade wine, produced with care and given as a gesture of good will. Being aware of that makes him feel a little nostalgic. A wine like this should be enjoyed in the company of the ones that are closest to you. And yet here he is, all by himself, separated from everyone else. For a second he feels utterly pathetic. If it isn’t the consequence of his own actions… He knows that the adepti would come to him if he opens his mouth and calls for them, but that would be just wasting their time. They shouldn’t be treated that way, as drinking companions whenever he feels like it. Besides, their presence isn’t the one he finds himself missing the most.
Zhongli wishes he would be given another chance to meet the ginger man from Snezhnaya so he can apologize to him properly. They didn’t have time to talk that night when he gave up his gnosis to La Signora.
Being sad and drinking wine is not the wisest choice, Zhongli realizes, so he closes the jug and places it on the wooden table. He comes back to his temporary bed and lies down, trying to ignore how hard the floor in underneath his body. Before he falls asleep he attempts to clear his mind from memories he’d rather forget, but it’s pointless.
He has lost countless friends and partners before. To war, to time, to erosion. He knows the pain of being left alone, even a little too much for his liking. This shouldn’t be any different for him but… Perhaps he feels it much more deeply because this time he couldn’t blame war, time or erosion. Alright, to be fair, Childe was the one who was sent here to kill him, but ended up befriending his target, completely unaware of that fact. But it was Zhongli who knew about everything from the very beginning and used him for his own purposes. He managed to predict everything, but failed to take into consideration his own feelings. It’s not like he would ever expect to actually like someone who was merely a pawn in his great plan. That wasn’t something that happened to him before and he was very confused when he found out he actually missed Childe’s company during his days. That’s why he tried to find the man, talk to him and ask if there was something he could do to mend their relationship. He couldn’t find him neither in Northland Bank nor in any of his favorite places in Liyue. That’s when he started asking around; the workers in the Bank, Traveler, Xiangling… he asked everybody who he knew Childe had contact with and finally his efforts paid off. At first none wanted to say a word either because they really didn’t know or because they wanted to keep it a secret. But one day Aether found him walking around the harbor and told him that after their last spar, Childe mentioned something about wanting to leave Liyue to rethink a thing or two. That was when Zhongli realized that he probably lost his only chance to make everything better between them. There was no way he could travel to Snezhnaya. Even he wasn’t absolutely and utterly disgusted by the thought of staying on water for a very long time, he couldn’t really afford this trip. Besides, he had no idea where to start looking. Snezhnaya was a huge region, so finding there one person without any traces and clues was practically impossible. Zhongli knew that if Childe disappeared without a word, then he most likely didn’t want to be tracked down and followed. Still, he hoped he could at least say his farewell to the man before he goes back to his hometown.
He’s lost and he doesn’t know what his next step should look like. With that in mind he finally falls asleep.
The following morning brings sun and an outline of a plan in Zhongli’s mind. A little calmer he starts his day normally and goes to work as usual. Even Hu Tao doesn’t annoy him as much as always, because he is too focused on making his arrangement as flawless as possible. He knows he has one chance and one chance only. If it doesn’t work the way he want it to, then well… maybe it will at least provoke Childe to come and see him in person. On second thought, annoying the person you want to say sorry to might not be the smartest move, but it’s not like he has much to loose at this point, so he’s determined.
“Oooh is it a smile I see on my dear consultant’s face?” Hu Tao’s cooing comes from right behind him and he almost flinches at that. “What’s the good news this time?”
She circles his his desk and stands in front of him, with a cheeky grin on her face. She looks extremely pleased with herself, probably because she succeeded at surprising him yet again.
“It’s not”, he responds humorlessly, his face back again at its usual neutral expression. “Nothing happened.”
He’s so absorbed in his thoughts, that he completely forgets about buying soap and instead purchases a set of paper, a quill and ink. This is so out of character that when he realizes his absentmindedness at home, he spends good five minutes just laughing at himself. Then he goes back to Liyue to get the cleaning products, redirecting the bill to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. He knows he should stop doing that and he really, really wants to, but first, he needs to get his first salary. And stop forgetting his wallet, unless he wants to take on endless trips from home to the city as his new hobby.
When Zhongli returns for the second time, it is already dark again and he feels hungry, but he ignores the sensation as well as the mess in his home. He only dusts off the table and places his newest purchase on it. Then, he sits down, pours dark ink into a very pretty jade inkwell and starts writing. Or, rather, tries to start writing. He finds himself with his hand hanged millimeters above the white sheet, uncertain. A very fat, shiny drop of ink threatens the pristine surface with staining it any second now, so he puts the quill away. Would it be proper of me to refer to him as my friend after all what we’ve been through, Zhongli wonders in silence, or should I use a more formal expression? After what feels like an hour, he decides to go with his first choice of wording and puts the tip of the quill on the sheet.
Dear Childe,
I hope this letter finds you well. I was worried about you, when you disappeared from Liyue so suddenly. No matter what you think of me right now, I feel like I owe you an apology and explanation. What a pity would it be, if things between us were to stay the way they are at this moment. Also, please don’t mind the method I was forced to use to contact you. I tried looking for you, to talk to you in person, but it turned out you had already left.
Zhongli looks at the drying paragraph thoughtfully. His writing is elegant and neat, a clear evidence of endless hours spent on bringing it to perfection. He’s sure Childe will guess who this letter is from just by looking at it and asks himself if the Harbinger will throw it away immediately. For a second he considers changing his writing, just to trick Childe into thinking someone else wrote it so that he can be sure it was read from the beginning until the end. He quickly abandons the idea. No more playing weird games with this man.
Just as he is about to start the next sentence, he hears knocking on the door at looks up, a small wrinkle between his brows. Who could it be? He definitely didn’t invite anyone – his home is in no state to receive guests in. Besides, not many people know of his current localization. Could it be Director Hu, bringing him some paperwork, because he forgot to do it during his working hours? Impossible, no matter how distracted, he always checks twice to make sure he handled all his responsibilities for that day. He would never want to risk an unannounced visit from his childish boss. His new neighbors? But it was way too late for friendly meetings. Did they already need his help with something? He ponders for so long, that whoever was behind the door, knocks again. This time louder with clear impatience. Zhongli carefully puts the quill away and walks to the entrance to open it.
He expected everyone, even an impossibly cultured hilichurl, more than the person he saw when he opened the door. For a long moment he just stands there, awkwardly, not sure what is really happening. When he speaks, his voice sounds as calm as always and he’s really grateful for that.
“Good evening, Childe,” he says like seeing him here is the most obvious thing in the universe. “How did you find me here?”
Out of all the things he wanted to ask him, he says that. In his defense, he is extremely taken-aback. The Harbinger looks at him without his usual, welcoming smile and Zhongli unexpectedly feels very uncomfortable. He doesn’t know what prompted Childe to come all the way from Snezhnaya to Liyue, but he isn’t going to let the opportunity pass. He opens the door a little more, wordlessly inviting his guest into his abode even if he’d rather fight Osial again than show Childe the conditions he is forced to live in.
“Hello, Mister Zhongli,” the Harbinger greets him in a cheerful manner as he goes through the threshold. He looks around the room and then at Zhongli again. His dull eyes don’t betray any thoughts or emotions he may be feeling. “I asked around. What’s more important, I came here to talk.”
Zhongli rarely saw Childe being so serious, at least around him. He knows that it is him who should approach the problem between them, but he doesn’t know where to start. It’s not like had many opportunities to apologize to people who tried to harm him and his city. They are both to be blamed for it all yet Zhongli feels like he has much more to be sorry about. He looks at his hands like he expects them to help him somehow and then lifts up his gaze to his guest. He’s been trying to make exactly this scenario happen for the past month and now, when he finally has Childe right in front of him, he finds himself lacking proper words.
“Listen,” the Harbinger says, before he even manages to open his mouth, taking pity on him. “I’m really pissed about what happened. I can’t just accept being treated like that, a part of your big, clever plan. I know you’re an adeptus or whatever and I’m just a mortal, so my life probably means nothing to you, but I think I deserve something that’ll make me forget about it and I will not leave this place until you battle me. And you better take this seriously, because I’m not going to go easy on you now, when I know who you really are.”
The ex Geo Archon blinks slowly, processing his words. Or rather, the whole situation. Firstly, Childe was supposed to be in his homeland, not in his house talking about fights and challenging him to a duel. Secondly, he didn’t seem to want any form of verbal apology. Thirdly, Zhongli can’t just accept a solution that is that easy. A battle. In a sense, it suits Childe perfectly. Someone like him definitely solves most conflicts that way. But if I’ll take it seriously, he’ll lose, he thinks to himself, what if he stays aggrieved after that? Then, something else hits him and he finally looks Childe in the eyes with an unusual obstinacy.
“It’s not true,” he states with confidence. “Your life is not meaningless in my eyes. Quite the contrary, actually. I value your company and take a great pleasure in spending my time with you. That’s why I will gladly indulge in combat with you if it’s what it takes to prove you that.”
Something seems to break inside the Harbinger at his words, because his face is no longer cold and unapproachable. It’s not a smile, not yet, but when he looks at Zhongli, his eyes are softer and it has nothing to do with the warm, yellow light that the lantern emits. He opens his mouth and closes it, then opens it again. Finally decides to keep them closed, convinced he just made a fool out of himself. Zhongli chuckles lightly at that.
“If this issue is resolved, would you like to drink some tea with me? I know this place is nothing to brag about, but I hope you will forgive me. I moved in yesterday,” he smiles at his guest, offering him a seat at the table. The letter still lies there, completely forgotten. “I promise you, the tea will still taste wonderful.”
Childe just nods and sits down, his eyes instantly focusing on the half-written piece of paper. Zhongli reaches his hand to grab the unfinished letter, but the Harbinger is quicker. He smirks at Zhongli, making him give up on the spot. Not the kind of smile he hoped for, but this will have to do for now. He wanted him to read those words anyway, even if there was no need for that now. For a moment he observes as Childe’s eyes move along the lines, not really sure what he thinks. When he’s done, Childe puts the letter away, avoiding looking Zhongli in the eyes. Zhongli knows that, because he tries to catch the Harbinger’s stare, to no avail. The silence between them is thick like slime secretions and heavy like mitachurl’s geo shield.
“Uhh, there really was no need for such a formal apology, Mister Zhongli,” Childe coughs in his hand, a light shade of pink dusting his ears. “I wasn’t that angry.”
“You looked rather enraged when you came in,” Zhongli tries to reason, not understanding the Harbinger’s reactions one bit. “I was ready to say everything I didn’t write down to your face. I can still do it, if you wish so.”
“No! I mean, no I… I really am satisfied with what I got. Just please, let’s drink the tea and tell me how come the Geo Archon lives in a poor country cottage like this one.”
Ten minutes later the tea is done, its sweet, flowery scent filling the whole room and making Zhongli thirsty. He feels so relieved that his relationship with Childe is back to normal, that he hums quietly when he sets it on the table. The tea set he owns right now is really nothing special, nothing he’s used to. A simple, white pot and as simple, white cups with no decorations or fancy patterns. But right now, he doesn’t care. He sits down next to his guest and smiles at him gently.
“I heard you went back to Snezhnaya. Did you enjoy your stay at home?”
“Who told you I was in Snezhnaya?” Childe furrows his brows, grabbing his own cup. He tries to make himself more comfortable on the chair, shifting a little like he is trying to buy himself more time. “I left Liyue, it’s true, but I don’t plan to go back home until I get an order from Tsaritsa.”
Zhongli tries to remember who told him about Childe’s whereabouts, but he only recalls Aether informing him that the Harbinger is no longer in Liyue. He didn’t say anything about Snezhnaya and that left Zhongli with a complicated feeling. Did he really made it up? Jumping to conclusions too rashly was not something he ever did. He was definitely more of the type who considered everything carefully, trying to foresee the most probable turn of events so that he could always react accordingly. Years of fighting during the Archon War taught him how to be an exquisite strategist. So, what was happening to him?
“It seems I was mistaken. I heard only about your departure from the city and assumed you must have gone back to Snezhnaya. If you don’t mind me asking, where were you then?”
The silence that falls after this question is short, but still full of weird tension. Maybe because Childe shifts again under Zhongli’s watchful gaze and maybe because they still aren’t on as good terms as they used to be. How hard can it be to build trust in someone you once deceived? The ex Geo Archon realizes that not only human lives are brittle, but their emotions as well.
He opens his mouth to tell the Harbinger he doesn’t have to answer if he doesn’t want to, but gets interrupted.
“I had… some important things to think through. I was in Dragonspine. I liked this place a lot. It reminds me of home,” Childe bites his lower lip nervously, looking directly at him with a distant look in his eyes. There was something deeply nostalgic about it. “I’d like to go there with you sometime. You should see how truly beautiful it is.”
Something warm and unknown grows inside Zhongli at these words. He feels like he just swallowed five Flaming Flowers at once. Even after what happened, Childe still wants to make plans with him and offers his company so generously. How could he say no to that? He nods probably a little to enthusiastically, because the tea in his cup almost spills on his fingers, and smiles at his guest, his distaste for being cold completely forgotten.
“That sounds like a great idea. If you’re going to stay here for a while, we will surely find a suitable date for that.”
Childe looks happy and Zhongli thinks that it is a sight worth a few hours spent in a freezing, inhospitable weather. When the Harbinger starts making plans, from getting them appropriate attire to the things they’re going to hunt and eat, Zhongli only smiles and nods, agreeing to everything he hears. He still can’t quite believe that he is no longer forced to miss Childe. There was surely a lot of work ahead of them to make everything right again, but now it all seems way easier than before. Even having him close feels like enough for now.