Chapter Text
Sweating and panting they walked off the stage. Remus wiped his forehead with his arm while he held his guitar in the other hand. Lily threw her arm around his shoulder and with a big grin on her face she pulled him back stage. James and Sirius followed them. Mary was waiting there with her arms open as a sort of welcome. She turned around to the table behind her.
"Incoming." she said and she threw each of the thirsty musicians a bottle of water. Remus barely managed to catch his, though he was the only one. He had to stiffle a laugh when the bottle meant for Sirius caught him right in the fave.
"Macdonald you're gonna ruin this pretty face!" He grumbled at the girl who flashed him a bright smile. Remus thought otherwise as he gulped down his water, nothing could ruin that pretty face of Sirius though.
Remus dared to look at Sirius as he watered down his drink. Sirius shoulder length hair was tight back into a ponytail, from which strands of hair had escaped. Sirius, with his high cheekbones and jawline almost sharp enough to cut your finger, looked like he was glowing, his bright eyes shone and Remus could guess why. It hadn't been their first concert but it had been one of their biggest one yet. The concert hall had almost sold out all of their tickets and when the Marauders had walked on stage atleast nearly a thousand people had been there. And it had given them a boost of confidence and they played like they never had before. The fans had seemed to notice that and screamed and yelled along with the lyrics Sirius was singing.
Remus hadn't realised he was staring until Sirius turned to look at him and said.
"You all right Moony?"
Moony was a stupid nickname the Marauders, actually mostly Sirius and James, had given Remus as some sort of joke. Courtesy of the scar on his face, that reached from the corner of his eyes over the bridge of his nose to a few inches about his lips. When Remus had told them he got that scar because of a dog attack when he was little, Sirius had joked about how it could have been a werewolf that had left his mark on Remus, and he was sure Remus was a werewolf. Immediately he started summing up nicknames for Remus and James had decided 'Moony' sounded kinda cool too. At first Remus hadn't liked it at all, it sounded too much like 'loony', but he eventually accepted it because he knew they didn't mean any harm with calling him Moony. That and it was no use arguing those two.
Remus blinked at Sirius and then shook his head. "I'm good." He gave Sirius a grin and Sirius accepted that answer as he started speaking a mile a minute to James whose responses were nearly just as exhilarated. Lily took Remus' attention to her.
"You were absolutely amazing out there, Remus."
"Thanks, you too. You aced the bass solo." She moved to put her hair behind her ear and looked away from him before saying.
"You really think so?" She finally looked at him but kept playing with her hair. "Yes Evans, you're brilliant." he said, "Anyway, don't we have an after party to attend to?" That of course got Sirius and James their attention.
"Fuck yeah!" James cheered.
They were finally on their way home when Remus' phone buzzed in his pocket. He fished it out and read the new message.
It was from his mom. He smiled at it, 'i watched the concert live on your youtube channel, you guys were amazing<3' He replied with a simple 'Thanks:)' before moving on. They were almost home. Remus loved their home. Together with Mary, Sirius, Lily and James he shared an apartment. It was more the size of a penthouse. They all had their own rooms, though Remus suspected Lily and James shared their room more than one night a week. They had pretty much everything they wanted and it was great. Just the five of them in a beautiful house, they called home. Though their house was already packed with people.
When they finally took the lift upstairs Remus could already feel the bass of music, he felt sorry for their neighbours, but big chances were that some of them were already there partying away.
Marlene and Dorcas had taken care of organizing the after concert party and had invited everyone they could get a hold of. Remus wasn't really a party animal but if there was booze, he couldn't really complain. Especially because when the lift opened and they arrived at their floor, David Bowie's song fame was playing loudly through their front door.
At least Dorcas had put on some good music, Remus thought as he entered. Marlene was the first to notice them and tackled Lily into a hug,
"You guys were absolutely amazing." Marlene said to them. "What? How-" Lily started before Dorcas also appeared.
"We played the live stream on the TV." Dorcas said with a small smile on her lips. "No way!" Lily said, Dorcas nodded with a smile playing at her lips as she looked at the boys behind Lily. Remus smiled back at her but his head was already pounding at the loud music. The adrenaline he had after the concert had faded into tiredness, and a headache, and oh, he ached for a cigarette. Though the first thing he had to do was confiscate a bottle of something to drink. Dorcas peeled Marlene from Lily and said, "Go have fun, we'll catch up tomorrow!"
Remus took that as his cue to disappear. He did not like it at all that he had to push through the crowds to get to his kitchen but what could he do? He couldn't deny his friends their fun. He managed to confiscate a bottle of vodka from the table, behind a couple that were making out, and then he began his journey back to the corridor.
There were stairs up to the roof and that's where he could smoke and drink in peace. He could've gone to the balcony to smoke, but the chances of being disturbed of his peace was huge there. He ran into Regulus and his boyfriend, whose name Remus had forgotten. They shared a hello and Remus gave Reg a quick pat on his shoulder before he continued his way. He took a left in the corridor and climbed the stairs up to the roof.
The door said Staff only but Remus had picked the lock when they had just moved there and he wanted to check it out and since then he went up there to get some quiet. He loved his friends dearly, he would die for them, but they could get on his nerves sometimes and if he just sat in his room, they'd still come inside and 'bother' him. Whenever he went to the roof they usually left him alone. Remus wasn't sure if they knew he disappeared there and let him take the peace up there or if they genuinely didn't know where he was every time they couldn't find him. He knew Sirius knew where he sometimes disappears too, as he had joined him there for a cigarette before but the others? He didn't know.
The warm late summer breeze blew through his hair as he opened the door and stepped onto the roof and Remus let out a breath of relieve. He could still hear the loud music but it wasn't as obnoxious as it was inside. The sun had almost set entirely but it was still light enough to see. Remus sat down at the edge, letting one leg dangle dangerously over the edge before rumaging through the pocket of his trousers, reaching for his fags and lighter. He lit one up and let the nicotine fill his lungs. He ought to stop smoking if he wanted to sing more often but he couldn't help himself. He was addicted, there was no use in denying that. He sat there drinking and smoking until it was fully dark outside and the bottle was almost empty. The sun was gone and so it was time for the moon to shine. Remus hadn't known it would be full moon tonight but the sight of it made him smile a little.
"The werewolf under the full moon, huh?" A voice said from behind him. Remus didn't even need to turn around to know who it was, he knew that voice. "And your just padding around, Padfoot?" Remus replied as Sirius sat beside him. James had come up with Padfoot, it was because of the way Sirius walked, he had light steps like a dog. Remus thought still the name was ridiculous but it stuck with him regardlesz.
"Busted." Sirius said with his hands up in the air, "But i come bearing offerings." Sirius let a bottle of whiskey appear from behind his back.
"Cheers, my bottle was nearly empty." Remus said as he held it up to show Sirius, though it was dark enough to not really see it anymore. Sirius chuckled and sat down next to Remus letting both of his legs dangle over the edge
Remus lit another cigarette. Sirius held out his hand and Remus gave him the cigarette without a word. He lit another one for himself and they smoked in silence.
"James will not be happy if he finds out you're still smoking." Remus said eventually as he flicked his burned out cigarette off the building. Sirius shrugged and let the smoke go out from his nose before flicking his own fag after Remus'. "He'll just be disappointed but he can't stay mad with me."
That was right. James was generally not someone who you could get angry fast, but even if he was mad with Sirius he couldn't be for long. Sirius would just use his puppy dog eyes and everything would be fine between them.
"You basically bribe him out of being angry because of your sad dog eyes."
"I certainly do not have 'sad dog eyes', he just loves me too much." Sirius said fakingly offended by Remus' remark. Yes that too, James loved Sirius, that was not a secret, they were 'brother's from another mother' or that's what James and Sirius called it. Remus never had siblings and he wondered for a second what that would feel like.
"You alright Moony?" Remus had spaced out again he realised. He looked at Sirius, whose eyes were shining in the moonlight, a dark glow over the usual light eyes. He stared for a moment longer before reaching towards the full bottle of beverage.
"I'm fine."
He wasn't 'fine', he felt like he was in trouble, because he couldn't keep on denying the fact that he, Remus John Lupin, was in love with his best friend.
"Everyone was asking about you downstairs and James asked me to go check up on you. So you sure?" Sirius asked again, scanning Remus like he was a patient.
"Just a headache and you know i'm not the party type." Remus said and he had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Though Remus was curious who was asking about him. "Who were asking about me?"
"Oh you know, everyone."
Remus in fact didn't know who everyone was. "Define everyone." he said in between a sip of alcohol. Sirius eyes gleamed mischiefly.
"People who think you are hot."
Remus almost chocked on the alcohol and coughed loudly, Sirius barked a laugh. "You serious?" Remus managed to breath out.
"Yes i'm always Sirius," Sirius said smugly, that joke was ancient but Sirius had to say it every chance he got.
"But no kidding, a two girls and a dude asked me where you were and went on a drunk slander about how hot you are, when i said i didn't know."
Remus shook his head, "I don't believe you."
"Then don't, but James is worried so maybe you should show your face downstairs alright?" Sirius said and he stood up. He brushed the back of his trousers clean with his hands, he offered Remus a hand to get up. Remus had to turn his head to watch Sirius, "I'll be there in a minute, just gonna have another fag."
Sirius took this answer with a nodd and Remus watched him go before lighting another cigarette.
Remus hadn't really kept his word to Sirius. He had taken two cigarettes and downed almost a quarter of the second bottle before going down again. He was comfortably tipsy now he thought as he swayed slightly as he opened the door to his home. He bumped into more than one person on his way towards his friends whose whereabouts were a mystery to him. But then he spotted auburn hair and made his way over to Lily.
"There you are." She yelled over the loud music, once she had noticed Remus. Remus put an arm around her, maybe he was a little more than just tipsy as he thought he was.
"Where have you been?" Lily asked as she wrapped her arm around his waist to support him.
"Here and there." Remus responded vaguely as he gestured with his hand. He stole Lily's drink and downed it in one go. "Are you drunk?" She asked as she looked at him swaying, "Nah you're drunk." Lily answered her own question. Suddenly James was there too, "Remus my man!" He put an arm around his shoulder and Lily slowly let go, letting James take Remus from her. "I missed you buddy." James said, maybe he was drunk too.
Remus didn't remember much else from that night, he could remember drinking some more with his friends and...
And kissing someone?
But after joining his friends downstairs he couldn't remember much. What Remus did know was that he had an immense headache, he was thristy. With a groan he dragged himself from his bed. How he had ended in bed at all, he had no clue. He stumbled to the bathroom across from his room. He gulped down water straight from the tap. It made his headache a little more bearable but the room still turned a little. He washed his face and when the room kept spinning, he sat down on the cold tiled floor.
Slowly memories from the night before returned, he had danced with several strangers. He could remember people grinding against him. And a kiss. But who did he kiss? He sure hoped it wasn't anyone important. He stood up.
Remus made his way to the kitchen after he had changed into fresh clothes. He tried to ignore the mess his livingroom, and kitchen, were left in and went to make a big pot of coffee instead. That's when James decided to enter.
"Good morning!" He chirped. Bloody Potter and his immunity for hangovers. He came from outside, he was holding a plastic grocery bag. He made room on the table by pushing the plastic cups scattered there, off the table.
"Morning." Remus grumbled back.
"Hangover?" James asked smugly, Remus just glared at him. Soft footstep alerted the two boys of another person arriving.
"I hadn't realised that it was such a mess yesterday evening, this is gonna take all day to clean up!" Marlene said as she walked into the kitchen.
"Huh did you sleep here? I didn't see you or Dorcas on the couch." James asked, "Mary gave up her bedroom for me and Cas, she bunked with Lily." She gave Remus a smirk before continuing. "You had fun too yesterday, didn't you Remus?"
"Mhm?" Remus said as he looked up from the coffee, he was studying it like he could fasten the brewing proces.
"I said 'you had fun yesterday didn't you?'" she repeated. "I don't know what you mean." Remus replied groggily.
"What you getting at McKinnon?" James asked in Remus stead, who was just equally confused. "You were really hitting it off with Sirius."
James laughed loudly as if Marlene was joking, Remus turned red before he protested, he knew he had kissed someone but Sirius of all people?
"I didn't! I can't even remember."
James turned at Remus at lightning speed, "Wait you seriously snogged Sirius?"
"I don't know!"
Marlene started laughing. "I was partially kidding you know? Yes, you kissed Sirius but you were so wasted and it seemed like you just stumbled into him, you probably didn't mean to kiss him. Anyways it's not like Sirius minded," Marlene said after she got herself together a little, she sounded amused though, but she continued. "After the kiss you passed out, i think he helped you back to your room."
Remus shook his head, he was never getting drunk again he swore to himself. James stopped staring at Remus and clapped him on the shoulder, "Don't stress about it, it's fine he probably forget."
Remus certainly hoped he forgot it, he couldn't bear to have this conversation with Sirius, he could lie that it meant nothing, though it did mean nothing, Remus couldn't remember it and therefore he had no emotional connection to the kiss. He wanted to kiss Sirius but not if Remus couldn't remember it himself. Marlene studied him a little longer before grabbing the bag James put down. She grabbed the eggs and sausages and went to the stove. "I'm preparing this for breakfast, James go wake up the other's!" She ordered.
"Why me? Remus is right there?" James protested as he had just sat down.
"Can't you see that he's hungover?" She said as protest, but Remus knew she didn't want James there when she was cooking. He was a great guy but he always meddles with making food, which can lead to fucking the food up. James grumbled something incoherent before disappearing through the kitchen door.
A while later all the Marauders and their friends sat at the table, munching on their food and gulping down coffee as fast as they could. Sirius was noticibly avoiding eye contact with Remus but Remus decided to ignore it and listened to the others while they talked about last night. Marlene and James avoided talking about Remus and Sirius, probably thinking it best to not talk about it with everyone there.
The entire day was filled with cleaning the house and Remus wished they'd never again had a party here but he knew it was inevitable. James and Sirius loved partying. They watched a movie that night, just the five of them, Marlene and Dorcas had returned home. Everyone went to bed relatively early. Though Remus lied awake a long time thinking, tossing and turning. He just hoped Sirius will start looking at him again.