Work Text:
It’s over for you. You know it. Everyone knows it. It’s obvious from the bite on your leg. There’s a steady beep near your head that tells you, for the time being, you’re still alive and still human.
“Five? Five I’m so sorry.” Sam’s sitting next to the hospital bed, hands clenched in his lap. “This is all my fault. I should have seen that crawler. Stupid, stupid, bloody stupid!” He accentuates each word with a balled fist to his forehead. You try to tell him it’s okay, but no sound comes out, just a pained groan. “Here, here.” he puts a glass of water to your lips and smooths down your hair, fingers lightly brushing your forehead as you sip.
The walls of the hospital are decorated with what looks like pool-party banners, someone’s attempt at making it a little more cheerful. A door opens letting in a breeze of fresh air, sending the little palm trees that hang from the ceiling swaying on the wind. People are coming and going but steadfastly avoid your little corner of the room. A little ways off someone’s singing a soft lullaby in a language you don’t understand but it sounds sweet and sad and soothing all at the same time.
You’re going to put on a brave face. For Sam and for yourself. “It’s okay Sam.” it comes out as a croak, but you give him a watery smile. “It happens. Come on, you know I don’t like seeing you unhappy.” a cough tears through your chest and has you wheezing and Sam calling for Maxine.
“Sam there’s nothing else I can do. We’ve got a morphine drip in. It should give Runner Five time to say their goodbyes, but then…” she trails off because even though it’s inevitable no one really wants to talk about how you’re about to go grey. She lays a gentle hand on Sam’s shoulder, “say what you need to and make it quick as you can. This high of a dosage can start to make people hallucinate so Runner Five might not be lucid for long and they may slip in and out of consciousness with their fever spiking so high.” Looking down at you, you can see the tears she’s holding back but she gives you a nod. “The major will probably tear me a new one for ‘unnecessary use of medical supplies’ or the like, but if anyone deserves this Five it’s you. Thank you. I’ll give you guys some privacy.” She has to bite her lip to stop the trembling and gives your hand a squeeze before turning and going to shoo some loiterers out of the hospital.
Your head hurts and everything feels heavy as you look back at Sam. He’s back to sitting beside you and he takes your hand awkwardly, patting it in a way you can only assume is meant to be comforting. You smile as your head rolls forward and your eyelids close as you drift off.
A little while later you surface again, it sounds like he’s been talking this whole time. He’s rambling, he does that when he’s scared you remember, like that night that seems so long ago when you were trapped out in the dark and he told you about his life, college, and parents. That night he told you, like so many other nights, to run, but this time to run home, back to Abel. “Remember that time when everyone was heading down to dinner and Jack and Eugene accidentally messed up at the coms shack and started playing music over the alarm system? It was pretty funny. Some people started just dancing in the middle of the street.” His hand slips away and you can hear the chair he was in scrape on the floor and he kisses your lips. It’s warm and soft, but you can feel him shaking and small drops let you know he’s crying. Then he stops and his footsteps are pacing back and forth beside the bed and he’s talking again. “I’m never going to forget this Five. Forget you. Never. Everything’s going to remind me – remind us, all of us, of you. Everything; the toy store where you grabbed the Darkness & Demons game, the ocean where you helped save those Aurora survivors, and we’ll have a spot for you in the forest. I won’t let anyone forget you Five.”
“Goodbye Five. Goodbye my friend, my… what do I call you?” he trails off as he looks at the monitor that shows your vitals. “My almost lover? My hopeless dream? I did have a dream about you once you know.” he says the last bit with almost a chuckle. “I don’t want to think about it Five, trying not to. Maybe it’s me or – or – maybe it’s the number. Maybe it’s just really unlucky to have me fall for any Five. I should have known you’d bring me heartache though, you Runner Fives always do.”
“S-sam?” you wonder if you're starting to hallucinate like the doc said you might because surely you’re not hearing what you think you’re hearing. Sam can’t be saying that. Not now when it just doesn’t seem fair what with the whole you’re-about-to-die thing. But there he is, back by your side, tears falling down his face and all you want to do is comfort him. “It’s okay Sam,” you say it again and again trying to reassure him, and you’ll admit it, yourself just a little too, “it’s not your fault. It’s not you.”
“I’m going to wake up every morning and think of you.” he says it firmly, like a promise, because he knows it’s the truth. “You’re going to be gone but I’m going to be haunted by you, by Alice, by everyone else who’s walked in and then just out of my life since this zombie apocalypse started.”
You reach up and touch his cheek. “We didn’t want to leave Sam.” your voice is coming out slurred, your tongue feels fuzzy and you can’t quite remember what you were going to say next. “At least this time though you get a goodbye. Goodbye Sam. Goodbye, my almost lover. Goodbye, my hopeless dream. I’m sorry for the heartache.” Your hand slips down and thumps dully on the bed. It’s hard to catch your breath and you’re just feeling so tired. “G-goodbye.” you manage in between shallow breaths as you feel yourself drifting off. He presses his lips to your forehead and holds your hand as you go under again.
Sam stays, long after you’ve fallen asleep again, and after Maxine comes over and tells him you have indeed slipped into a coma. He stays and holds your hand as your pulse weakens and your blood pressure drops. Finally, when you’ve stopped breathing and your lips have turned blue he stands and brushes a hand over hair, smoothing it down one last time. “Goodbye Runner Five. We’re retiring your number. You’ll be the last one.” He turns and leaves the hospital as you flatline and Maxine unhooks you from the monitoring equipment. Glancing back one last time he looks up at the night sky as he makes his way towards his bunk and wipes the tears from his face. “Goodbye.”