Work Text:
tommy had never really been a fan of cleaning.
it was something that puffy had told him to do, to clear his mind whenever it became too hectic for him to stand. he had never taken much of an interest in it before, but as he cleared room in his humble abode, the boy began to like it more and more.
currently, he was knelt by one of his many chests, cardigan tossed to the side as he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. it would definitely need washing afterwards, considering how much bleach and dirt had stained it.
he held an old, rusty iron sword in his hands. "keep or throw?" tommy mumbled aloud, running a finger along the length of the blade. it was a sword he had stolen from tubbo, way before the l'manberg war for independence.
a smile tugged at the corner of his chapped lips at the memory, carefully placing the sword in his makeshift 'keep' pile.
huffing, tommy noticed how large the pile was in comparison to his throw pile. the boy wiped his grimy hands on his shorts, nose scrunching in distaste at the dust which had veiled him.
he didn't have long to frown about it as his stomach growled neglectfully, a furious flush creeping along his cheeks, despite being alone.
prime, he longed for nikki's baking. it was a shame he wasn't on good terms with her, otherwise he'd willingly give her all of his diamonds - just for a few of her warm, gooey, chocolate chip cookies that melted in your mouth, tasting as though they were crafted by XD himself.
"maybe wil's free for lunch..." tommy hummed, pushing himself on to long legs that crossed over one another, almost sending him flying. he braced himself on the wall, feeling around his pocket for his communicator.
confusion fizzled inside of tommy, brows furrowing as he checked his pocket once again. he glanced to the pile of items on the floor and dropped to his knees, wincing at the impact - but he was so used to the pain that he barely registered it.
as he began to dig through it, he ended up making his floor even messier than it had been before he started cleaning. "where the fuck is it?" not in the pile, apparently.
tommy glanced over at the chest he had been clearing out and pushed it open further, rifling through it as he searched for his lost communicator. he let out a heavy sigh of relief when he finally found it, pulling it out as carefully as he could.
the boy dropped it in his lap, powering it on at once. bright blue eyes flickered over to the chest, gazing down into it, wanting to know how much he had left to clear out.
something in particular caught his eye, however, heart dropping at the sight of it. it was an all too familiar helmet that immediately brought memories flooding back.
swallowing down the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat, tommy reached out with quivering hands, cradling the helmet in them as he pulled it out.
"holy shit." he breathed, running his fingers over the turtle shell helmet with as much care as he could possibly muster.
tommy had no idea that he had even kept it. in fact, the boy was certain he had thrown it out after... after the whole ordeal with the blade. he hated thinking about the other man, hated how much he longed for him (not that tommy would ever admit to that, of course - he was a big man, and big men don't weep over their betrayed brothers late at night).
it wasn't something that he really wanted to deal with that day, face solemn as he just stared at it. something tucked inside the soft lining of the helmet caught his eye, once again, and he reached a hand to pluck it out.
tommy's brows furrowed as he was met with the back of a photo. it read 'BEDROCK BROS' in his own messy handwriting, looking more like a scrawl than anything. he was almost dreading turning the photo around, anxiety thrumming through his veins as he heavily debated it.
in the end, curiosity won over his own well-being, tommy steadily turning the photo over. his eyes widened a fraction at what he saw, the boy placing the helmet down in his keep pile in favour of holding the photo in two hands.
it wasn't anything magnificent, merely a photo that had been snapped unexpectedly, probably by phil; tommy was curled into techno's side as the two laid on a sofa, the latter resting his cheek against tommy's mess of curls as they both slept, seemingly content in one another's embrace.
tommy knew when it had been taken. it was a day before they had travelled to l'manberg, a day before tommy had turned his back on technoblade. a day before he had destroyed his relationship with his eldest brother.
tommy crumpled, shoulders slumping as his face scrunched up, the bitter tears that he hadn't even known had stung his eyes freely rolling down his face. he hiccuped, snivelling and whimpering as sobs wracked his lanky frame, his cries filling his house.
his heart twisted painfully in his chest, the boy hunching in on himself as he clutched a hand to his heart, curling up as taut as he could.
eyes squeezing shut, he pressed the photo close to his chest, an abundance of apologies tumbling from his mouth as he weeped on his floor.
tommy didn't know how long he spent in that position, crying until his eyes stung and his throat burned.
when he looked outside afterwards, he was met with a starless night sky that had cast a dark shadow over his home.
----
over the following week, tommy wasn't able to get his mind off of the photo. he kept it tucked inside one of his cardigan's many pockets and didn't dare look at it again.
his head was constantly reeling, a forlorn feeling of loneliness churning deep inside of his gut. it was hard to concentrate on anything anymore.
"tommy!" an all too familiar voice snapped the boy out of his trance as he jolted, whirling around to meet a rather disgruntled wilbur. it made the boy scowl and roll his eyes. "were you even listening to me, man?"
guilt immediately crashed over the boy like a wave in a raging ocean. tommy hung his head, shuffling on his feet. "no." he glanced over at his brother and challenged his glare with a menacing grin, "what'd you say, wil-bitch?"
that garnered an even sharper glare, the older man baring his teeth at the boy. although, there was no mistaking the gleam of amusement in his eyes. he reached a hand out and ruffled tommy's hair, smirking when the boy squawked in protest.
"whatever, child." wilbur sneered, scratching at the stubble on his chin. the man always looked so rough and exhausted, tommy almost felt bad for him. almost. if he wasn't a massive prick, at least. "i asked you to pass my smokes."
scoffing, tommy snatched the box of cigarettes off of a nearby chest and tossed them at his older brother who fumbled to catch them. "y'know, dad wouldn't like it if he knew you were smoking."
wilbur just shrugged, shaking a cigarette out of the box before he shoved it back into a pocket in his trench coat. "that old man can't control me." he stated, feeling his pockets, presumably for a lighter.
tommy shook his head and threw the lighter over, too, earning a beaming smile from wilbur. "awe, toms, are you worried for me?" he cooed, sauntering over to his little brother and throwing an arm over his shoulder, pulling him in.
despite knowing it was a bit, tommy still allowed the man to pull him in, placing his pickaxe down in favour of grasping his brother's arm. "i just gave you a lighter, dickhead. i want you to die." he grumbled, snickering at wilbur when he sputtered.
"you're such a gremlin!" wilbur huffed, placing a hand over his chest in a melodramatic show of despair. "i cannot believe my own baby brother would say such a thing to me. i'm wounded!"
tommy burst into shrieking laughter, squirming out of his brother's hold to slump against the nearby wall, sliding down it until he was situated on the floor, "yeah, bitch! better stay wounded!"
amused at his brother's antics, wilbur just chuckled and brought the cigarette to his lips, slipping it into his mouth. with a few flicks, the lighter burst alive, alighting the end of the smoke and crisping the end of the paper.
the boy brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them to hold them in place. he tipped his head back and stared up at the cloudy sky, squinting against the sun's bright beams of light that managed to poke through the many clouds.
it wasn't often that his older brother was in such a good mood. it reminded him of his youth - hanging out in the woods with wilbur as they lazed about with not a care in the world. just him and his older brother against the world.
but, that was so long ago, and tommy preferred not to reminisce on what used to be. especially as memories of a younger technoblade were resurfacing, too. fuck. tommy willed the tears away before he began sobbing over the man again. he tried not to think of happier days.
he didn't register when wilbur had slumped down beside him, crossing his legs as he took a drag from his cigarette, blowing it out in a puff of smoke that had tommy hacking up a lung. "shit, my bad, toms."
with a final drag and exhale, the man stubbed the smoke out, chucking it over the side of the stone mine that they were sat on. tommy shuffled closer to wilbur, until their arms bumped together, and laid his head on the man's shoulder, allowing his eyes to slip shut.
blunt nails raked through his hair, scratching at his scalp absentmindedly, making the boy melt against his brother. "guess this means we're taking a break, then?" wilbur hummed gently, tommy merely nodding his head in response.
the two brothers sat together in comfortable silence, broken only by the sound of wind rustling and birds cheeping above them. it was the most peace that tommy had gotten in a long while, and he didn't want to break it.
but a voice inside his head was nagging him, demanding he ask about their other brother. tommy's eyes fluttered open, the boy finding his mouth awfully dry as he inquired nervously, "wil?"
the nails in his hair didn't cease, wilbur purring out a tender, "what, tommy?"
tommy was hesitant. hell, was wilbur even on good terms with the blade anymore? he took a deep breath before finding his voice again. "how is technoblade?"
that was enough to pause the nails in his hair. they were replaced by wilbur's hands, his fingers intertwining with tommy's individual curls, very carefully pulling the knots out of them. "he's okay. just the same as normal, i suppose." he answered nonchalantly, "why do you ask?"
and both brothers knew why he asked. tommy didn't know why wilbur even bothered asking, when the answer was so very obvious.
tommy pushed himself up a little, hiding his face in his knees, golden curls cascading in front of his eyes, obscuring his view. "i miss him, wil." the confession tasted wrong in his mouth, tasted bitter, eyes glistening over with tears that would fall at any given moment. "i miss him so fuckin' much.
he let wilbur cup his cheeks and pull him in closer, eyes slipping shut as tears fell freely, staining his cheeks as they went. the older man brushed a strand of hair behind tommy's ear before pulling him in for a hug, shushing the boy's harrowing sobs.
tommy slumped against the man, hands clutching desperately at wilbur's coat, burying his face in the crook of his brother's neck. a kiss was pressed to the top of his head before he was being tugged in even closer, cradled by wilbur.
"i know, sunshine, i know."
----
something had possessed tommy. he wasn't all too sure what had, but whatever it was, it had him traversing through the nether in the dead of night.
the heat was unbearable. it didn't help that his feet and legs were both aching, agonisingly so, from how he had ran non-stop to the nether hub. tommy's vision was blurry, eyes rubbed sore from how much he had been crying only minutes before.
perturbation was the only thing keeping him going, booting up his adrenaline as he clumsily avoided the many piglin that tried to chase him down (they were nothing like his brother - techno would have never hurt him, until he had).
relief crashed into him when he caught sight of the nether portal that lead to the snowy tundra. nothing about it had changed since the last time tommy had gone through it.
tommy clambered inside of it, wrapping his cardigan tighter around himself as he braced for the harsh, chilling weather. of course, the boy hadn't brought along any appropriate supplies with him. but as long as he could make it to technoblade's cabin then it wouldn't matter.
assuming the man would let him in.
ignoring the self-deprecating thoughts before they could fester and infect his mind, tommy leapt out of the portal, barely just managing to steady himself before he went face first into the heaps of snow.
"what the fuck?"
tommy shrieked, twisting around to meet the sound of the low, grumbling voice that was far too familiar. his breath got clogged in his throat and the boy found himself face to face with the blade.
breaking out into a nervous sweat, the boy grew pale, throat drying up. shit, fuck, balls. tommy hadn't prepared to see technoblade so soon. "ah, the blade, fancy seeing you here...?"
the two stared at one another. tommy could see the piglin's teeth bare, reaching a clenched towards the axe tucked inside of his holster. "what are you doin' here, tommy?" the man growled, taking a dangerous step forwards.
wind ruffled tommy's golden curls and the boy's eyes darted around, preparing to dash away. "just - just on a walk." a strained laugh forced its way out of his mouth and he pointed behind him. "look, it was great to see you and shit, but i've gotta go..."
"i won't ask again." the man's voice dipped, oozing with venom. "what are you doin' here, tommy?" technoblade pulled his axe out, a sneer forming on his snout as he took a step towards tommy.
tommy took a step back, narrowing his eyes as he glared up at his brother. he might have gone as far as to say that techno was a bigger prick than wilbur. "leave me alone, man! you are such a dickhead! me me me, my name is technoblade and i'm -"
he wasn't even given a chance to finish as technoblade swung his axe down, tommy yelping as he barrelled out of the way, twisting on his feet and running as fast as his legs could take him.
apparently, it wasn't fast at all, since techno immediately caught up to him. a strangled cry erupted from the boy when hands rammed into his back, knocking him down into the snow.
tommy scrambled to sit up, hastily shuffling backwards on his arse as he ducked to evade the constant swings of technobalde's axe. there was murder in the man's eye and it was enough to send the boy spiralling. "fuck off! please!"
"what do you want, tommy?!" technoblade roared, his voice so thunderous and booming that the ground beneath him trembled. he raised his axe and swung again, only just managing to miss tommy.
"you!" tommy cried, hands flailing in front of him in a pathetic attempt of defending himself from techno's merciless, yet controlled, swings of his axe.
at once, techno's entire body froze up, an amusingly exaggerated countenance of shock appearing on his usually stoic face. crimson eyes clouded over, and tommy found himself subconsciously readying for a storm.
gasping for breath, the boy squeezed his eyes shut as taut as he possibly could, holding trembling arms in front of his face. "i... i want you." the confession weighed even heavier on his shoulder than before, threatening to pull him to the snowy ground. "fuck, man, i just... i don't know what i want."
tommy's lips curled into a solemn frown, finally allowing cerulean blue jewels to open again. he could feel bitten lips wobble, throat clogging as a sudden surge of emotions washed over him, drowning him in a raging and unrelenting ocean.
when techno made no effort to speak - although, he seemed to have recovered from his initial shock, face a blank canvas yet to be painted on - tommy continued, pushing himself to stand as he did so.
he had to force his words out, "it's all been so fuckin' blurry since... since i got revived."
he didn't miss the puzzled tilt of techno's head, but he did ignore it in favour of continuing, terrified that he'd lose his words before he could spill everything. "i feel like i'm losing my grip on reality. nothing feels - nothing feels real anymore." tommy's blinked hastily, tears cascading down rosey cheeks.
the boy paused for a brief few moments, lungs aching as he inhaled the freezing air, which only made him crave it more. "and - and... shit-" tommy hiccuped past a sob, numb hands clenching pitifully as he rubbed furiously at his eyes. "- i just... i just realised that i missed you so fucking much!"
it was then that techno completely lowered his axe, slipping it back into its holster with practiced ease (distantly, tommy felt phantom hands prying the axe of peace into his unworthy hands). the man remained silent, however, seemingly stuck on what to say.
good. scowled tommy's bitter self, something unpleasantly pleasing curling up in the very bottom of his empty stomach. tommy hadn't calmed down, his body convulsing as he gasped for air, snot running from his nose, an onslaught of tears still flooding down his cheeks.
"you betrayed me, tommy." came techno's answering rumble, purposefully void of any emotion, monotone as always. he was glancing to the side warily, crossing large arms over his chest as he shifted on his boot-clad feet.
unadulterated rage boiled inside of tommy, the man's words like a slap to the face. what the fuck? scrubbing at his face, tommy let out an almost pained noise of fury. his body trembled even harder, jaw clenching as his heart pounded away at his chest.
before he knew it, tommy had staggered towards the man, a string of unfiltered curses and insults spewing from his mouth, fists (that were basically frozen because of the cold) delivering an assault of frail punches that he put his entire being into.
"you bastard!" he screamed, only growing more pissed off when techno didn't even budge, didn't even make a noise of pain. tears obscured his vision and he tried to blink them away to no avail, only serving to fuel the rage pumping through his veins.
"i didn't - i didn't fucking betray you! fuck you!" another punch.
"you dickhead!" another punch.
"piece of shit!" another punch.
"bitch!" another punch. that one garnered a grunt from technoblade. tommy didn't care for it. not anymore.
"i hope you die!" another punch, followed by a shriek of, "i hate you! i hate you!"
it took a few more rounds of relentless punching until the fire roaring inside of tommy was smothered by his own exhaustion, large, calloused hands encircling his wrists and holding them together. tommy didn't bother fighting it, too busy panting for air, too busy trying to shake off the remaining resentment.
for the first time, silence fell upon the two brothers, hanging heavy in the air. it was intoxicating, a smog settling over tommy, riddling his body with a sorrow that plagued him, constricting his parched throat and squeezing his heart in a vice grip.
tommy tipped his head back, miserable blue meeting deadpan red. he feebly tugged at his wrists, techno dropping them at once. the boy wiped at his nose, not breaking eye contact once as he whimpered out, "i don't want to forgive you for what you've done to me, done to my friends, my home."
and techno could only nod at that, his cold demeanour melting into something much more apologetic. but not regretful. never regretful.
"and i know -" tommy took a moment to catch his breath, "- and i know you won't want to forgive me, either." he practically spat the words out, far too stubborn to want to admit that.
he supposed that it was a major fault in both of them; neither wanted to forgive one another, purely out of stubbornness. it was how everything fell to shit, tommy knew that. but he didn't want to change his beliefs. he had never wanted to.
techno jolted at that, brows furrowing as a frown curled on his snout. still, he made no effort to speak his mind on the matter. so tommy continued, pointedly glancing to the ground as he did so. "but... you were my brother - no, you are my brother. we may not share the same opinions, and we probably never will do."
a pause.
"but i miss you, man. so fucking much." and just like that, the dam broke for what felt like the hundredth time that day. he curled in on himself, despising how ugly his sobs were. "i - i don't... i don't want an enemy anymore!" he whipped his head up to look at techno, stiff fingers clutching golden blond curls and tugging at them. "i just want my brother back!"
a wail tore from his hoarse throat, echoing throughout the tundra, falling deaf on tommy's own ears.
it was then that he was crowded into a warm, comforting embrace, muscular arms holding him with more stability than tommy had ever had in his life. tommy shoved his damp face into techno's shoulder, having to push himself up as to properly slot himself against the man.
tranquility had tommy's shoulders slumping, his own arms wrapping around techno, holding him impossibly close and clutching on to the soft fabric of his shirt for dear life. the boy was petrified of the man disappearing if he let go. it was all so surreal. perhaps another dream?
"tommy." techno's deep voice reverberated throughout tommy's lanky frame, the boy melting as he was guided underneath techno's chin. he was gently rocked back and forth, hands rubbing soothing circles in his aching back. "toms. my baby brother. mine. my runt. precious gold." he chuffed, pressing a kiss to unruly curls.
tommy bawled, allowing techno to shower him in praises and kisses, lapping it all up. hands cupped his cheeks with such care and concern that it made the tears fall faster, earning an awfully worried grunt from his eldest brother.
"sorry. didn't mean to make you cry." techno mumbled as he brushed a thumb underneath one of tommy's eyes, frown deepening at the heavy, almost purple, eye bags that latched on to them. "hell, kid. do you even sleep?" his tone held a teasing lilt to it, though that was mostly overpowered by his concern.
despite it all, tommy felt his heart warm at the attention. there was a rouge blush that smattered his cheeks, the boy leaning into the touch, desperate for any warmth (the cold was beginning to catch up with him - and his cardigan wasn't doing much for him, especially in the tundra). "mmm, not anymore. haven't been able to for a long time."
he brushed it off with ease, as though it was completely normal. and it was - to tommy, at least. the last time he had been well rested was during his time at techno's cabin, whilst he was hiding from dream.
tommy could see something akin to horror haunt his brother's eyes, but he didn't think much of it - he wasn't really given much time to think of it, as he was being scooped off of his feet. the boy squawked, immediately throwing his gangly arms around the man's neck as he was was cradled to techno's chest.
it was very embarrassing. techno was carrying him bridal style, and with only one arm, too. he didn't even seem to be struggling. tommy had no idea how one man could possess such strength.
a heavy, snug cloak was draped over his body, two arms now holding him, helping to wrap the cloak around his body. "what the fuck?" tommy gasped, completely unable to move as he was swaddled in the thing.
techno just chuckled, protectively holding the boy as he began to trudge through the piling snow with practised ease.
tommy didn't protest, letting his head loll against the man's shoulder. the fatigue from crying so much was finally beginning to catch up to him.
"where're we going, big man?" the boy inquired, voice somewhat muffled by techno's shoulder, glancing up to meet the other's eyes.
"home, theseus." techno simply replied, gazing down at tommy with such endearment and love that it almost made the boy cry again. he just nodded, burying his face into the crook of techno's neck. "now go to sleep. we can figure things out in the morning."
and tommy agreed with him. as much as he wanted to talk about everything at that very moment, he would rather save it for when he didn't feel as though he was going to pass out at any given moment. "'night, tech." he murmured, adding an even softer, almost silent, "love you."
besides, they had all the time in the world to figure their problems out. tommy doubted it would all be resolved with just a simple chat - he knew better than anyone else that healing took time and effort. but he was willing to put it all in. if it meant getting his brother back.
and as he watched the cabin gradually appear in the distance, tommy felt a spark of hope ignite itself in his chest, promising recovery. tommy let his eyes slip shut, the benevolent and forgiving embrace of sleep whispering sweet assurances, lulling him in with no fight.
"sleep well, tommy... i love ya, nerd."