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Everyone’s born with a name on their wrist. It’s a fact of life- whether it be John Smith or Nairobi Daversa , everybody alive had at least one name there. Sometimes even more.
And everyone knows that the person on your wrist is your soulmate. With most people it’s romantic, though from time to time people will have platonic soulmates, for multiple reasons. Hell, there were even soulmates for aplatonic, aromantic, and asexual people. These soulmates often ended up having the same sexuality, but the name was there. It was a gamble, having a soulmate. You never knew who the person on the other end would be, or if they were the same sexuality as you.
Hermione, however, knew her soulmate was going to be romantic.
She just knew it, from the day she learned what a soulmate was, she knew that her true love was out there, just waiting for them to be united.
All up until the beginning of seventh grade, when her depression started kicking for the first time. How could anyone love someone who didn’t even love themselves? It was impossible, she was sure.
It wasn’t until a year later, at the start of eighth grade, when she’d finally start figuring out how.
She was in her first class of the day, Mrs. Albert’s ‘English 1’ , when she noticed someone new to the school.
He had dark brown hair, almost black, and she could just barely see that he had stormy gray eyes, accentuated by the smeared eyeshadow under them. He seemed tall, taller than her, at least. Though that wasn’t a very hard achievement.
He was dressed in all black. Literally, all black. A black t-shirt of a band she never knew, cut into a crop top, a black-and-white striped long-sleeved shirt under, plus high waisted black pants, and black platform boots. Even black earrings.
He was beautiful. If Hermione wasn’t into the ‘bad boy’ type before she certainly was now .
‘ Holy shit…’
She wondered if he was her soulmate.
In a split second, the boy turned, making eye contact with her. She blushed, quickly looking down. ‘ Yeah right,’ she thought, peeking at him through her obnoxious, bushy red hair. ‘Messy hair and a boney body with too many freckles to count. Like he’d ever be into you .’
“Alright, class!” Mrs. Albert clapped, making everyone look up at her. “Welcome to your first year here at Fieldrow Middle School! I’m sure you’ll love it here.”
Yeah, right.
“First, let’s get started with introductions. When it’s your turn, stand up and say one interesting thing about yourself! I’ll go first; I’m Mrs. Albert and I go to Canada to visit my family every year!”
The introductions went around the room, until eventually they got to the bad-boy-hot-kid. He huffed, standing up unenthusiastically.
“I’m Virgil Sanders,” ‘Holy shit.’ “and I have an uncle who’s a scientist.”
Oh my god. Oh. My. God. Virgil Sanders?! She glanced down at the name on her wrist. ‘ Virgil Elijah Sanders’ shone there brilliantly, in a deep purple. ‘He’s my- oh please tell me he has Hermione Lily Prince on his wrist or I am going to cry , I can’t believe I got this lucky. Pretty boy’s my soulmate!’
Finally, it was her turn to go. Still shaken up from finding her soulmate , she stood up nervously.
“Uh, hey, I’m Hermione Prince, and one interesting fact about me is that I have a twin named Remus.” she bowed before plopping back down in her seat and peeking over at Virgil. He was- well he seemed bored, like he wasn’t even paying attention. Her heart sank. ‘Is he not my soulmate after all?’
She’d have to get to the bottom of this.
—
She stopped Virgil in the hallway after class, grabbing his wrist. He almost seemed to blush for a second, before raising an unimpressed eyebrow at her.
“Um, hi, I- uh, hi, wait I already said that- I just- hi I think you’re my soulmate ?”
His eyes widened for a second, before squinting. “How do I know you’re telling the truth?”
“I- what? I don’t...”
“That’s what I thought.” He started walking away. Wait, no! “If you’re friends with the other girl who played the same prank on me this morning, tell her to lay off, it isn’t funny anymore. Wasn’t funny the first time.”
‘DON’T LET HIM WALK AWAY!’ she thought, lurching forward and grabbing the sleeve of his hoodie.
“No! No, that’s not- I’m not- I wouldn’t do that. I mean, I totally get why someone would , ‘cos you’re really hot- er- I mean- sssshoot, ignore that, I’m dumb, I don’t know what I’m saying, aha- my arm! My arm.” she thrusted her arm forward. “It says ‘Virgil Elijah Sanders’, see? And me, um, I’m Hermione Prince. Oh- and my middle name is Lily. Please tell me that’s on your arm…?”
Virgil reached out, grabbing her wrist. He brought it closer to his face, stroking the skin where his name lay almost reverently. She tried not to blush, failing miserably.
“Oh,” he whispered, before dropping her wrist and covering his face. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry , I’ve made a complete ass out of myself, Hermione.” Her heart didn’t flutter at him saying her name for the first time, as she felt it should, as she’d always heard described in stories.
Was that odd? Did she mess up somehow? Or was the fluttering only from fairytales?
“I mean… kinda, yeah…” she admitted. “But! It’s okay, I get it, I think. You said someone pranked you with it, earlier? I mean, I get it then, because I’d, like, totally doubt someone who did the same thing later. So, it’s okay, Virgil.”
He peeked out from behind his fingers, blushing even more red. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she grinned, extending out a hand. “Friends?”
He shook her hand. “Friends.”
The bell rang. Virgil’s face paled dramatically.
“Oh shit- you wouldn’t happen to know where room 113 is, would you?”
“Nope, but I have the same class, so… we can be late together. C’mon,” clutching his hand, she started walking down the hall. “It should be somewhere this way.”
And, well, he may not be the ‘bad boy’ she assumed he was, but she thought they’d get along just fine.
—
‘Fine’ was an understatement, Virgil and Hermione got along like a house on fire.
By the middle of the year, the two had already gained massive crushes on the other, but it took until the beginning of ninth grade for one of them to say anything about it.
—
They had learned a lot about each other over the year.
For example, she had learned of Virgil’s struggle with anxiety disorders, just as he learned of her debilitating insecurity stemming from her depression.
Throughout the year they learned how to support each other, whether it be through learning how to deal with Virgil’s panic attacks, or how to see through the ‘mask’ Hermione wore.
So now they sat, curled up together on her bed as they watched Moana on Hermione’s computer. She kept glancing at Virgil- his clothes, his hair, his face. He was so gosh darn cute .
She could see up close that his gray eyes held flecks of dark blue, even green in his left eye. His hair was purple now, freshly dyed after he visited the hair salon yesterday. Purple was a recent addition to his whole ensemble, after he spent a couple of days on his newest work of art; a black hoodie with purple plaid patches scattered around it. It suited him.
He chuckled at something on-screen, and her heart melted. He hardly ever laughed around other people, and even then he covered it up. It was only with Hermione that he let his guard down, and she was forever grateful for it.
Noticing her stare, Virgil turned to Hermione with a raised eyebrow. “What’s the matter?”
“ Cute, ” she blurted. “Wait- ah- I mean- you’re not- well, you are- but I didn’t- I didn’t mean to… say that…” she stammered out. Virgil blushed.
“You think… you think I’m cute?”
Ack, how was she gonna get out of this one?
“I mean… yeah… you kinda are. Even though it messes with your whole ‘bad boy’ aesthetic, heh...” She looked away, chewing on her nail.
She heard Virgil pause the movie, sliding the computer off their laps. He cautiously grabbed her hand, and she peeked over at him.
“We should probably… discuss the romantic part of being soulmates, huh?”
“Um- only if I’m not gonna get yelled at.” she stuttered. Virgil gave her a sad smile.
“Of course not, I would never do that to you,” he took a deep breath, grabbing her hand. “So… I… I just gotta do it, I just gotta- I like you! Like, like-like you. Like a crush. I’m saying ‘like’ too much, aren’t I? Gah- I just... I think you might like me back?”
Hermione gaped at him for a few seconds.
“I do!” He launched forwards, knocking Virgil over with the force of his hug. “I do like you, I like you a lot , Virge, oh gosh I’m so happy!”
Virgil giggled, holding him close. “Really? You do? I didn’t-” he excitedly kissed his cheek, and Hermione found himself surprised he didn’t melt Virgil with the force of his blush.
Wait, he? I’m not a-
“I mean, I was pretty sure you liked me back but I was still so nervous , but now I’m just-!” Virgil squeezed her closer. “I’m just really happy!”
“Me too!” Hermione grinned, quickly hiding her dilemma. “So- is this- are we… dating?” she asked. Virgil bit his lip.
“I’d like to be.”
“Then we are! You’re-” she giggled. “You’re my boyfriend now!”
Virgil nuzzled his face in her mess of hair. “And you’re my girlfriend.”
She was happy. This was amazing- she was Virgil’s girlfriend now.
So why did that word make her feel so horrible?
—
Their relationship only bloomed further from that. They were official, now, after all. They went on dates, hung out more often, held hands, even.
She felt on top of the world.
—
Sometime midway through ninth grade, Hermione dramatically shoved open her brother’s door, flopping down onto his bed with a groan. Remus just snickered.
“Boy troubles?” he asked.
Yeah, I wish I was one. Wait- where did that come from?
“Yeah,” she sighed. She . “I think I’m in love.”
“Ooh, how dramatic!” Remus sung. “What’s next, are we writing a song about it? Ooh, even better, are you gonna-?”
“Don’t even, Re. I don’t think I want to tell him yet,” she shook her head, used to her brother’s ‘inappropriate’ jokes. “I just- it’s still so new, and, well… I’ve never been good at initiating these kinds of things… It’s probably too early in our relationship, anyway.”
“That never stopped the princesses in your Disney movies,” Remus pointed out. “Besides, you’ve practically been dating since you met!”
“Shut up, no we haven’t. Don’t be so dramatic-”
“Rich, coming from you-”
“ Plus , life isn’t a Disney movie, no matter how much I want it to be. There’s no guarantee he’ll love me back… and if he doesn’t, I don’t want to make him feel pressured to say it, too.”
Remus sighed.
“Suit yourself.”
—
And maybe he should’ve realized he was trans sooner, like when he was 10 and asked his dad what his name would’ve been if he was a boy, for “no particular reason.” (His name would’ve been Sirius, apparently.)
But in the summer after 9th grade, he realized it.
She wasn’t just a ‘tomboy’, was she? She was- he was- an actual… boy. He was a guy, a sir, a gentleman, a man, all those terms made him more comfortable than ‘female’ ever had.
Hermione- he’d have to get a different name, wouldn’t he?- burst into tears.
“They’re all gonna hate me,” he mumbled, gripping at his too long hair. Remus, his brother. Virgil, his boyfriend. Patton and Logan and Janus, his friends- they were all gonna hate him, weren’t they?
His parents named him after a character by a transphobic author , for crying out loud!
They were accepting, sure, but were they actually? Would they be accepting if it was him?
Even if he explained that it wasn’t mere discomfort at being called ‘she’, it was dysphoria . Even if he explained the elation that ‘boy’ gave him. Even if he explained that while he liked skirts, dresses, and make-up, he didn’t want to wear them … They’d hate him for lying to them for so long.
Plus, he liked feminine things, right? Just not on him. Maybe… maybe he was lying to himself. Maybe he was just faking it for attention, or something. Even if this meant he was going to lie to them for longer, he couldn’t tell them yet. Not until he was sure.
—
Mio, the name he was currently going by, knocked on Virgil’s door, having been let in by his mother.
“Virge! I have a surprise for you!”
“Wh- Mio? Hold on a sec!” He tapped his leg anxiously as he waited for Virgil to come to the door.
“ Viiiiii , come onnnnnn,” he whined.
“You are so impatient- whoa hey!” Virgil startled after opening the door. “You cut your hair? It looks good!”
“I- really?” Mio blushed, stepping into his room. “I worried it might be too… poofy.”
Virgil closed the door behind them. “No, not at all! Can I..?” he gestured at Mio’s hair, and he nodded. Virgil carefully grabbed a lock, inspecting it. “It looks really cute on you, Hermione.”
He tried to hide how that name made him cringe. “Uh- yeah, thanks, heh, um… I just begged my mom to make a hair appointment last week, and I finally got it cut yesterday! She nearly cried when she saw the final look, she loved my long hair. But I like it better this way,” Mio smiled.
Virgil smiled back, kissing his cheek. “I like it better too, sweetheart. Why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“I wanted to surprise you!”
Virgil snorted. “Okay,” he ruffled Mio’s hair, before hesitating. “Actually, speaking of surprises, I wanted to talk to you about something more serious..?”
‘Oh? Wait- does he want to break up with me?!’ Mio forced a grin, unsure. “Yeah?”
“It’s nothing bad!” Virgil was quick to assure him. “Well, I guess it depends on how you react?”
Mio’s brows furrowed, but he sat on Virgil’s bed and patted the spot next to him. “You can talk to me about anything.”
“Right,” Virgil sat down. “Okay. Um. I should just say it, right? Like ripping off a bandaid. Okay, so I-.. I-” Virgil huffed, pulling at his hair. “ This is so much harder than I thought . Okay. I. I AM PANSEXUAL!”
“Oh. Okay. That’s okay,” he tilted his head. “I don’t mind.”
In fact it made things easier, but he wasn’t gonna mention that.
“Oh, I- it does?” Virgil shook his head. “Sorry, I… didn’t expect that.”
Mio smiled sadly, grabbing Virgil’s hand. “I’ll accept you no matter what, we’re soulmates, after all. You’re amazing, Virgil.”
Virgil started tearing up, looking away. “Thank you, thank you, I- I… care about you, Hermione. A lot. I feel like I can talk to you about anything,” he looked at Mio. “I hope you feel like you can talk to me about anything, too.”
Mio thought about it for a second, glancing away. Sure, maybe he could , and especially after the revelation that Virgil was pan, but there was always a chance it didn’t… count. When it came to Mio.
“Of course.”
—
Mio rushed upstairs after coming home from school, quickly hurrying into his room. He was planning to continue a project he had been working on for the past few days- a plan to find a name that fit him . If he found a name he liked, maybe he could figure out if he was really trans or not?
Locking the door behind him, he opened his computer. He knew he wanted a royal-sounding name, or something that he would feel proud of when seeing it in the credits of a movie.
Opening up Google, he quickly searched ‘ Royal sounding names for boys ’, and waited for the page to load.
Clicking on a new website, he began to scroll.
‘Theo? No, that doesn’t fit me.’
‘Thomas? No, too… ‘normal’.’
‘Roman…’
He paused.
Roman, huh?
It didn’t mean much, just ‘ citizen of Rome’, but, well… he liked it. It fit him, more than the other names did.
“Roman,” he whispered, pressing a fist to his mouth as he grinned. “Roman, Roman, Roman, ”
That was it, huh? Roman was… him. He was Roman Prince. He’d have to figure out a middle name later, but for now he was Roman Prince.
And it felt great .
—
Not too long later, he got a call.
“Virgil?” he asked, bringing his phone up to his ear.
“Hermione?” Virgil whispered. Roman shot up immediately, he sounded distressed.
“V? Dearheart, what’s wrong?”
“I- I don’t know how to say this! My soulmark changed! It doesn’t say your name anymore.”
Roman’s heart stopped.
Was this his fault? Was transitioning going to change Virgil’s perspective of him so much that they couldn’t be soulmates anymore? What was going to happen to them?
He felt his heart rate pick up. He glanced towards his wrist.
“I- your name is still on mine,” he croaked. He felt his hands start to shake.
“That- that’s good, that’s good, um. I feel like I should mention that your name isn’t completely gone? I mean, it still says your last name. But it- it says ‘ Roman ’ instead of Hermione? And your brother’s name is Remus, right? So it…”
Virgil’s voice was drowned out by his thoughts. Roman . Virgil’s soulmark… changed to his name? Changed to Roman?
Could this work out after all?
“ Can you come over? ” he blurted, cutting Virgil’s ramblings off. “Sorry, I just- I think we should talk face-to-face.”
“Right- yeah, okay, that makes sense. See you, sweet- sweetheart.” Virgil sniffled before hanging up.
‘ I guess we’re doing this now…’
—
Roman paced, nearly tearing his hair out with how hard he was grabbing it.
‘ He’s my soulmate, so he’s gotta accept me, right? But- but what if he hates me after this, and the universe gives him a DIFFERENT soulmate, and that was the real one all along, and I’ll be alone forever and missing Virgil?
Or if he’s so disgusted that he gives up on soulmates altogether and moves away? Or what if he tells my parents- or brother- or everyone at school! And then I’ll be laughed at forever and have to run away and never see my brother again? What if-’
His thoughts were cut off by a knock at the door. He took a couple of deep breaths before caving in, opening the door to see Virgil.
“Hey, V,” he murmured, looking away.
“Mio?” Virgil took his hand, stepping into the house. “I- I am so sorry, I don’t know what’s happening! I didn’t- I didn’t mean to make the soulmarks change!”
“Hey, hey, no!” Roman cut in. “It’s not your fault. It’s… mine.”
Virgil started to shake his head, but before he could, Roman started dragging him to his room.
“C’mon, my mom’s still sleeping in her room. We’ll talk in mine.”
“Mio,” Virgil murmured as they entered the room. “How is it your fault?”
“I-” Roman stammered, heart feeling heavy with grief. “I messed up. I’m- I- I… made it change.”
Virgil frowned, tilting his head. “How, then? How’d you make it change?”
Roman froze.
‘ Just say it! Just tell him you’re trans and get it over with!’
But he couldn’t speak. He gripped at his hair suddenly, pulling at it even as Virgil tried to stop him.
“I- honey, don’t-”
“I’m sorry!” he shouted, crumpling to the floor. “I’m sorry for ruining everything!”
“Mio! I- listen, I don’t know what you ‘did’, or even which of us caused it, but,” Virgil crouched down to his level. “I’ll- I’ll love you no matter what, okay?”
Roman paused. “Don’t say that…”
“What?”
“Don’t say you love me until you know what I’ve done!”
“Wh- but it’s the truth!”
Roman sobbed, glancing up at his boyfriend. Virgil seemed sincere, but he couldn’t know what Roman was about to say. He couldn’t know that this was so much more than a little accident, couldn’t know that this was something that could break their relationship forever. Or that it probably already had.
“Hey, I promise , Mio. Okay? I promise I’ll love you no matter what you say.”
“I’m trans! Okay?! I’m transgender, and I want my name to be Roman , and I want to be a boy! And it changed-” he sniffed. “Because of me. Which means that I ruined this.”
Virgil paused, and a few seconds which felt like hours passed.
“Okay,” he said, slowly. “Why would that… ruin our relationship? You know I’m LGBT myself, why… would I leave you for being trans?”
Roman wiped at his eyes. “Because- because it’s different, okay? It’s different when it’s- when it’s someone you know.”
“Hey,” Virgil cut in, softly. “It’s not different to me, okay? You said your name is Roman, and you’re a boy, right? Are your pronouns he/him?”
Roman nodded, internally berating himself for forgetting that detail.
“Well then,” Virgil cupped Roman’s face, smiling at him. “This is my soulmate, Roman. He’s one of the best people I know, and I love him.”
Roman lasted all of two seconds before bursting into tears, and, well, who could blame him?
“It’s okay, Roman,” Virgil whispered, hugging him tight. “I love you no matter what.”
Roman sobbed once more, hugging him back.
“I love you, too.”