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Summary
Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick.
And some things shouldn't be a chore.
Series
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Bookmark Notes:
3r
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Bookmark Notes:
“I never once hugged you because of the chart.”
“How about the day I ended up covered in transmission fluid and fire extinguisher foam?”
“Not even that day.” As if by unspoken accord, they gathered themselves and started back upstairs. Steve glanced at him as they headed up the stairs, side by side, Steve carrying his shield and Tony carrying his tablet. “How did that happen?”
“Dummy, Calcifer and Clint,” Tony said, as if that explained everything, and judging by Steve's smile, maybe it did.
“Ah, is that why there was an official written warning stuck to the front of our toaster this morning?”
“Paperwork must've finally gone through, yep. The most impressive thing is that Coulson got Fury to sign off on a disciplinary form for a toaster. I'm trying to imagine that conversation. I... I cannot manage it.” Tony considered. “Maybe he just put it in a pile of forms and let Fury sign them all.”
“Tony?”
“Yeah?”
Steve paused, gave him a look. “I think that Coulson put the dang form down in front of Director Fury and said, 'The toaster was way out of line,' and at that point, not signing it would involve a discussion. Signing it means that Fury can go back to pretending we're not all crazy.”
“He does pop antacids like they're chicklets,” Tony said, grinning.
“Actually,” Coulson said from the top of the stairs, making them both jump, “Director Fury was the one who initiated the disciplinary action." He paused, letting that sink in. “And Stark?”
“Yeeeeeeees?” Tony asked, one foot hovering, ready to make a break down the stairs, not that the workshop was secure anymore because it was missing a goddamn wall, thanks a lot, Captain America, actually, now that he thought about it, that was kinda hot, and was Coulson still talking?”
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Bookmark Notes:
the OG/ultimatr stoney fic/verse for me alongside creationsalvation
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Bookmark Notes:
best avengers fic hands down i said what i said