Chapter Text
*Ayaka created 'what coffee should I get'*
*Ayaka added a lot of people idk*
Ayaka: lesbian council pls respond
Keqing: the lesbian council isn’t real
Yae: what do you need skrunkly
Lisa: we’re here to answer your prayers
Ei: skrunkly?
Yae: skrunkle, meow meow, crinkle, my little wogaboo, baby, precious, did you burn the kitchen again
Ayaka: lesbian council what should I order for my coffee
Ei: miko I do not understand a single word you're saying
Ei: and dont worry hu tao is cooking today
Ganyu: I’m going to olive garden
Beidou: get me some breadsticks
Ningguang: of course you would like breadsticks
Beidou: what does that mean
Yanfei: breadsticks are superior
Ayaka: my coffee?
Kokomi: grande iced cafe vanilla frappucino, with whip
Kokomi: we’re going simple today
Sara: why are you here
Kokomi: you want to fuck me so bad
Ei: oh
Kokomi: you too
Kokomi: everyone here wants to sleep with me
Ei: not me
Kokomi: you texted me yesterday
Ei: we are working on a project together
Kokomi: that is beyond the point
Miko: hey we don’t do threesomes
Miko: yet
Ei: ?
Jean: can we change the topic
Ayaka: kokomi this coffee is amazing!
Kokomi: see?
Kokomi: everyone wants to fuck me
Sara: therapy is always an option
Kokomi: therapy for what
Eula: pink hair
Yanfei: :((
Sara: pink hair (derogatory)
Miko: I will literally eat you
Kokomi: when and where
Ei: miko cannibalism is bad
Kokomi: you pure soul
Yoimiya: why are we eating people
Kokomi: everyone wants to eat me
Ei: that is concerning
Sucrose: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao
Amber: what
Rosaria: we no longer have a kitchen
Hu Tao : and it wasn’t even me this time
Lisa: great who wants taco bell
Keqing: I thought we were getting olive garden
Jean: we are on a budget
Ningguang: not me lmao
Beidou: Ning how am I a breadstick person
Ningguang: you just are
Beidou: ???!??!??!?!!??!!
Beidou: well then you look like a wavy fry kind of person
Yoimiya: i like smily fries :)
Ayaka: smiley*
Yoimiya: :(
Yanfei: the kitchen is gone??
Hu Tao: taco bell :)
Rosaria: why were you making candles
Sucrose: Yae asked me for scented candles
Sara: Yae?
Miko: yes birdie
Sara: first of all, never call me that again
Sara: second of all, why
Miko: scent
Sara: no shit
Keqing: why is your name Miko if none of us actually call you that
Miko: only Ei can say my name
Kokomi: but I can scream it tonight ;)
Sara: im tying you up again
Kokomi: oh la la ❣️🥰❤️♥️👩❤️👩
Mona: tf did I just walk in on
Hu Tao: we’re eating tacos
Mona: no why is Eula throwing darts at a picture of you
Yanfei: who hasn't thrown darts at a picture of Hu Tao
Keqing: it should be an Olympic sport
Hu Tao: let me recreate it
Hu Tao: Shenhe why did the chicken cross the road
Shenhe: to get to the other side
Hu Tao: no you’re supposed to ask why
Shenhe: ok why did the chicken cross the road
Hu Tao: to get to the idiot
Shenhe: ok
Hu Tao: knock knock
Shenhe: what
Hu Tao: ask who is it
Shenhe: who the fuck is knocking at my door
Hu Tao: the chicken
Hu Tao: thats the joke that got Eula mad at me lol
Shenhe: kys
Miko : wouldn’t it be crazy if in an alternate universe I was a girl in a village and I had a sister and this monsters attacked our village and the village chose my sister as the sacrifice to drive off the monsters and I tried to escape with her but it failed and I had to watch her die in front of me then I would grow apart from the rest of the village and speak to no one until I found some girl by a river beaten up and healed her wounds and we lived together and fell in love but my irreversible trauma made it so that an evil force took over my body and I turned on her and she killed me wouldn’t that be crazy lol
Sara: I worry for you
Ei: are you alright Miko
Miko: wouldn’t it be crazy if the girl in question wore a braid and couldn’t cook and I once fed her mouth to mouth haha wouldn’t that be crazy
Ei : go to sleep
Miko : no hear me out what if this was all a lie
Miko : what if actually we were dating
Ei : we are just friends?
Miko: we are dating rn
Ei: since when
Miko: you probably just forgot lol it happens
Sara: are you gaslighting Ei into thinking you were together
Sara: and what the fuck was that
Miko : idk it came to me in a dream
Miko : this girl with pink hair and blue eyes appeared and she was like “lol get that raidussy” and now shes my god
Kokomi : how do I even begin
Kokomi: did you drink something weird
Miko: no but I have a lack of Ei discharge on my system
Ganyu: oh
Ei: are we really dating?
Miko: of course babe <3
Yelan: day five without pussy I have lost sight in my right eye, my skin has gotten dry, I can no longer drive as using my hands to maneuver the sterling wheel reminds me of days lost, I no longer have a sense of taste
Yanfei: YELAN
Yelan: is that your codice or are you just happy to see me
Yanfei: how did your alcoholic intervention go?
Yelan: bye
Yelan: im getting a girl that actually cares abt me like Yanfei
Keqing: you get no bitches
Yelan: I fucked your mom last week and I'd do it again
Miko: hey we can't both fuck Keqing's mom
Ganyu: wait are you sleeping with Yanfei or my mother in law
Yelan: both
Ningguang: I hate this chat
Miko: ok back to me
Kokomi: 😐
Miko: Ei we are literally in love and have been married for five years how could you forget
Ei: we have?
Kokomi: wait I need to know more about the pink god
Miko: she had huge tits and elf ears
Sara: im leaving this chat
Kokomi: do that and Im leaving you
Sara: are you threatening me?
Lisa: we got the taco bell!
Amber: where is the kitchen
Eula: gone like my parents expectations of me
Shenhe: you think your parents are bad?
Miko: are we not going to talk about my lesbian premonition
Kokomi: not everything is about you
Miko: correction I am god
Mona: god that gets no bitches ⁉️
Keqing: dw Ei you're not married to Yae
Ei: aw
Miko: wait
Miko: what do you mean aw
Miko: respond
Miko: don't ignore me
Miko: please
Miko: Im telling Makoto
Beidou: didn't she burn down your prom proposal in highschool
Miko: we are on good terms no she's literally dating my best friend
Ei: Makoto says that if you keep texting her she's paying the phone company to shut down your service
Miko: see she loves me 💖💞💓
Kokomi: this is why I only date orphans no in laws to worry about
Sara: 🧍
Kokomi: skrunkly 🥺💓💖♥️💞💖💓💋💋💋
Yelan: Yanfei your parents love me
Yanfei: and?
Yelan: please
Yelan: I have never begged anyone like this
Yelan: just one photo of your tits 🛐🛐🛐
Yanfei: bye I have a lecture
Yelan: is this what it feels like to be Yae
Miko: 😐