Chapter Text
At the end of his fifth year, after losing Sirius, and coming to terms with what the world expected of him, Harry found that he didn’t want to live for others. He had been so resilient for the time he lived with the Dursleys.
Why would that suddenly change now that he was a part of the Wizarding World. For all that they spoke about his achievements and walked the ground he walked on (in the times that it suited them, otherwise he was nothing more than a crazy teenager) he never saw any of them before he turned 11. None of them, not even Remus and Sirius, had reached out to him in an effort to reconnect.
And while he could understand why Sirius wasn’t able to, there were enough people around that claimed to know and love his parents that never did that.
He was sick and tired of the way they approached this, almost as if he was a toy they could dust off and play with when they felt like it. Whenever he needed them, all of them vanished, as dealing with a teenager was too much for them to handle.
And maybe it was, but to leave him hanging like that, to act as if they would be there for him whenever he needed, and then stop showing up was the lowest of low. He didn’t know how to handle that, and didn’t have any idea how he would even be able to get backing to deal with the war that was about to be unleashed.
“I don’t know what to do, Hedwig, it isn’t like I can just throw in the towel and get out of the UK while I still can. I never asked to be a part of this war anyway, Voldemort and Dubledore decided that this would be the best course of action.”
Shaking his head, he was glad for the big eyes of his best friend looking at him. Had Hedwig been a human she would have been his best friend without a doubt. But as an owl, she still was, but all he could do was vent to her about the things that happened in his life. She never said anything back, but she listened and that was more than he could ask for.
The fact that he could vent also helped to bring it all into perspective, in a way talking to his owl made him rethink everything and made for an efficient way of making sure what he wanted to do, or what was going on, was how it should be.
At this moment, nothing was as it should be. He was, once again, locked away at the Dursleys. His mother’s sister and her family didn’t care for him in a way that child would need, never mind a child that was grieving his godfather.
Of course that particular piece of information was revealed to them too. Maybe it was in an effort to make them realize what was going on, or it was because they needed the Dursleys to treat him like they always did. Without Sirius there to scare them off, Harry was well aware that his summer was going to be hell. He was the blemish on his family’s otherwise stellar (really not, but they didn’t see it that way) reputation. The little freak that prevented them from being the best version of themselves. Or whatever else of bullshit they thought of to make themselves sleep at night.
Sighing as he pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his chin onto it, Harry looked at Hedwig once more. Feeling for his best friend, and the cage she was locked into. The cage both of them were locked into at the moment.
“I don’t want to stay here, Hedwig. Nothing is worth it to lay down my life for people that won’t even see it for what it is. Even Ron and Hermione expect me to fight for the Light, to just let everything happen because I’m the Boy-Who-Lived.”
Shaking his head to make sure the tears he felt welling up didn’t fall, “I don’t think there is anyone out there who knows me at all. All they see is the image they conjured for themselves. This unrealistic take on what should have been, all the more nurtured by everything that happened at Hogwarts.”
He scoffed, “If it had been a muggle school there would have been an investigation on what went wrong so long ago. Not only that, but the bullying and disregard for the rules would have made it a place not a lot of people would want to send their children to. But I guess with it being the only option there isn’t much choice in that matter. Unless they choose to send their kids to Beaubattons or Dumstrang.”
“It might be better to send them there, from the information Fleur and Victor told me those schools have a very different way of dealing with all of it. They are much more free thinking and don’t follow the current ruling body like the UK does. At least they all know how to think for themselves.”
Laying down as sleep started to creep up on him, Harry murmured, “I really wish I could leave here.”
What he didn’t know was that the wards tied around the Dursley home relayed on Harry actually wanting to be here. Before, even if he didn’t like his family’s house, at least he didn’t actively want to leave it.
That changed now that he had time to reflect on everything that had been going on. Without Sirius to tie him to the Wizarding World, and even that was only just. The man had been there for him in a way, when he wanted to, which was what Harry wanted most of all.
Without Sirius there, there was no other person that had the same vibe as Sirius did. That unconditional love that he knew his godfather held for him (even if it was somewhat demented ever since he came back from Azkaban). He had been well aware of the fact that Sirius saw his father in him more than he saw Harry, again exposure to Dementors and not enough help in recuperating from that did it to a person.
Back to the wards, they relied on Harry thinking of the Dursley house as something of a home, even if it was because he was forced to think like that. Without that failsafe they started to crumble, and fast at that.
And while Harry did not know, there was someone who had been looking into his residence over the summer. Who wanted a chance to talk outside of their usual meetings in a way that Dumbledore couldn’t get to them, couldn’t influence the way they talked or interacted.
Tom Riddle had been so close to finding that, driven by the amount of blood taken from Harry at his resurrection, he was well aware that something about that was tied to the blood the young Potter heir held.
With the wards falling however, the blood they shared sang in a way that Tom had been waiting for. The link between them had been raw ever since the forced possession just a few weeks ago, with that still fresh on his mind it wasn’t that hard to find the link back to the boy’s mind.
He was there when he heard Harry utter that he wanted to leave, that he didn’t want to be there to fight or to fulfill the expectations set for him by the world that had been very happy to cast him aside when he announced that Voldemort had returned. That ruse was up now that the Minister had seen him, but still, to think that none of them were willing to believe the boy they had appointed as their own savior was laughable.
As soon as the teen fell asleep, he knew this would be the perfect time to make his move. Slipping into the dreamscape came easy. After all, a connection had been established since he was but a baby. Tom just hadn’t known about it then, nor had he realized it after, only at the ministry had he seen a way in.
That same connection was the one that had been wide open ever since the ministry, that hadn’t been closed, deliberately from Tom’s side, and unknowingly by Harry’s side.
It served his purpose, especially when Harry didn’t even seem startled to see him there. Maybe in part the teen had known that the connection was there, that it wasn’t closed off yet.
“Hello Harry.”
Humming, Harry nodded, “Hello, Tom.”
As he didn’t react to his given name, Harry narrowed his eyes, “I was under the assumption you didn’t like your given name.”
Tom shrugged, “There are a lot of things people assume about me, Harry. I’m sure you’re familiar with that aspect of the wizarding world.”
Harry swallowed slowly but nodded, showing Tom that he was right in that regard. That like him people just assumed things about him that might or might not have a base of truth. Looking at the teen on the other side of the room, he couldn’t help but feel for him. He had lost everything, partly by his own hand, all because of when he was born and the prophecy that tied to that.
“You should know by now that Albus Dumbledore lives to make people assume certain things. It’s how he has been able to keep in power despite getting old. He was all too soon to assume things about me. To see a Dark inclined child and decide that with me all his worries were going away.”
Looking at Harry, Tom added, “He was more than willing to ignore a child in an abusive household if it meant he would get his second chance at glory. When that didn’t work out, and I saw through it all, he made sure that I wouldn’t be able to do that. That I would follow whatever it was he wanted me to follow in an effort to get that glory.”
He sighed, “Even sacrificing some of his own pawns if it got him what he wanted. Albus Dumbledore isn’t the man he protects himself to be, Harry. Even less so against those, like you and me, that serve him as a means to an end.”
Looking at Harry, he finds himself staring in eyes that told him he already knew that. Told him that, luckily, Harry had it all figured out a whole lot quicker than he did.
“You already knew…”
Harry shrugged, “I suspected, and I’m sure I would have found out soon enough when I disappeared. Chances are rumors of me turning Dark or joining you will begin to surface in an effort to find me. I’m tired of being a pawn, Tom, especially for a man that doesn’t seem to care about me unless he has a need for me.”
Tom pondered on his next words, as they could make or break what he wanted to happen. He had seen the way Harry Potter dealt with the hand given to him, how despite the fact that he was essentially muggle raised, he was more clever than he let on. More cunning than he would like to admit, and more willing to save his own hide than most of the other children at Hogwarts. He wanted to survive and was willing to pretend and act if it got him that.
“The one thing our dear chess master keeps forgetting however, is that a pawn becomes a bigger chess piece once they reach the other side of the board. I know offering you a chance at the Dark Side is futile, but I can extend a hand in offering that I won’t be going after you after tonight. Dumbledore needs to be stopped, if you disappear it might just give me an opening to do so.”
He could see the thoughts wander through Harry’s head, it wasn’t that hard to see once you got a feeling about the teen.
“Let me help you disappear, let me help you set up a life outside of this mess. Let me set you free.”
Harry bit his lip; before he stood and laid his hand into Tom’s. A shallow nod all the Dark Lord needed to grin, his plan a success.
—-
Harry Potter did disappear not long after, much to the shock of the public and the rage of Albus Dumbledore. Tom knew where he was, but never said a word about it. Keeping in contact through the still present link.
It would be years until Harry appeared before him again, a book clenched into his hands and a terrified look on his face as he showed something he had uncovered regarding Albus Dumbledore and the effort the man was willing to go to make his utopia a reality.