Chapter Text
The class field trip had been going well until Marinette needed to pee.
Rest assured, the guided tour through the Grotte de Lascaux was incredible; each winding turn seemed to peel back the veil of time. Prehistoric wall paintings harkened to an age of hunter-gatherers pursuing their quarry. Her classmates would ‘ooh’ and ‘ah’ at the stone formations suspended from the ceiling. Timeless streams trickled from the ceiling until they fell and slowly eroded the floor below.
All of it was absolutely riveting… unless you had to take a tinkle.
“Now class,” Miss Bustier chimed, “do we remember the difference between stalactites and stalagmites?”
“Sure do! The stalactites are the dingleberries, and the stalagmites look like my dad watching Desperate Housewives.” Kim said.
The boys laughed and the girls shared blushed looks, likely from second-hand embarrassment. Miss Bustier struggled to regain control of the class, while the tour guide was busy catching his breath.
Amidst the chaos, Adrien caught Marinette’s pained expression.
“You okay, Marinette?” he cooed, looking perfect even in subterranean lighting.
Marinette winced weakly back at him. The extra attention from her good-good perfect boy didn’t exactly ease her internal tension. The last thing she wanted was for everyone to notice her discomfort.
Unfortunately, Kim was on a roll. “Yo! Marinette’s ‘bout to flood this joint.”
Miss Bustier, resigned to the class in pandemonium, finally noticed Marinette. “Oh honey. I’m sorry the bathrooms are all the way back at the cave entrance. Can you hold it?”
Can a coffee filter stop a tsunami? Marinette bit her lip.
The tour guide spoke up, “Actually, there’s a service elevator just off the fork there. That’ll take you right back to——“
Marinette didn’t need to be told twice. She dashed down the aluminum walkway erected for tour groups. The padded steps of her sneakers diminished into nothing as she left the group in the dust.
“Ah, although,” the tour guide continued, “you will need my key for the access panel.”
As the class snickered at the cruel irony of Marinette’s fate, one hand shot up to volunteer themselves as tribute.
“I’m fast, Miss Bustier.” Adrien said, “I can run the key to her.”
Miss Bustier nodded, and Adrien sped off to the whooping chorus of ‘Atta boy’ and cheers.
—-
Of course the goddamn elevator was locked.
Marinette was six minutes away from a deluge, and her attempts to force the elevator door were in vain. She even considered transforming to bust through the metal.
That’s when she started to hear Adriens voice.
“-arinette, wait up! I’ve got the key!” the voice said, faint at first.
“Oh God,” she moaned, “this is how I die, isn’t it?”
Then, a glistening Adrien slowed to a canter next to her. She couldn’t tell if he was sweating, or if she was so full her eyes were watering.
“You forgot the elevator key” Adrien slipped past her and unlocked the elevator door. The gate creaked open and Marinette swore she heard angelic three-part harmony.
She stepped inside the elevator and perused the floor options. There was a lot. Too many, actually. Some of the numbers began to blur together. She needed to make a decision or she wasn’t going to make it.
Marinette pressed the highest button, hoping that was right.
A thought then occurred to Adrien: “You should take the key, Marinette. In case there’s another gate.” Adrien stepped inside just as the doors closed.
He stammered “Oops, sorry… Didn’t mean to— uh”
With a metallic clunk, the doors slid closed. A rumbling drone of the lift began to hum.
Marinette just stared as her secret crush awkwardly tried to be interested in the corrugated, elevator floor. She could feel the sweat dripping down her forehead.
Not like this, She pleaded, Not like this.
Adrien tried to fill the silence, “Sorry… I, uh… was just trying to give you the key.”
Marinette nodded understandingly, or maybe it was a spasm. It was getting hard to tell.
Adrien saw the movement, and smiled weakly, “Probably should’ve just let you go, huh? That’s what I get for being helpful”
It was moments like this that Marinette couldn’t wrap her head around. How many times had she dreamed of being trapped in a confined space with this boy, only to achieve it under the worst possible circumstances. It’d be a shame to let it go to waste. After all, he had honestly tried to help her out.
“N-no thank you,” she stammered as her intestines did a dance routine, “I’d be stuck if you hadn’t come”
He beamed, obviously pleased at her gratification. God, he was so easy to please. Like a dog with a sock, it didn’t take much to keep him going. Marinette looked for something else to compliment about him. Maybe she could salvage this train wreck after all.
“I, uh… like your socks,” she mused, nodded her head toward some peculiar black and green socks with paw prints. That had a strange familiarity to them that she couldn’t place.
Adrien glanced down at his socks, and sharply inhaled as he remembered that he got dressed in the dark this morning. Apparently he had worn the snazzy Christmas socks that Ladybug had gifted to Chat Noir. It was a fond ordeal, one neither of the two had coordinated, but surprised each other nonetheless. He had given her a novelty ladybug handbag with extra pockets to ‘hold all the naughty thoughts she had for him.’ They shared a laugh. It was a good time.
But he couldn’t tell Marinette.
“Thanks, I got them for Christmas.” he said, which was half true. He lifted his pant leg and proudly displayed the stocking.
When he looked up, Marinette’s smile was strangely wooden. He wasn’t sure what was wrong at first, but then he remembered she needed the latrine.
The elevator continued to meander at a snail’s pace.
Adrien cracked another smile “Kinda sucks we had to go all this way. It’s not like the cave was going to mind if you—“
Marinette shook her head, “Please don’t say it… I’m having a hard time….. standing here…” Her sentences were strained as if each word was taking physical effort, but even Adrien could tell something else was bothering her. It was like watching a baby learn to walk and try to speak at the same time.
“Did you say you got those socks for Christmas?” Marinette had pinched her eyes. There was a thought at the tip of her tongue but she was having a hard time registering anything at this point.
“Huh? Oh, yeah the socks… Uh, I think so…” Adrien tried a diversion, “My.. dad got them for me. Little fashion design present. How thoughtful, right?”
“Your….dad? The one who forgets your birthday sometimes?” Marinette felt like she was about to crack something wide open, hopefully not her intestinal tract.
Adrien lowered his head, “Yeah, he does better with holidays. Is there a problem?” Marinette paid more attention than he gave her credit.
“No, I just… they’re familiar… I feel like I’ve seen them before.” Marinette was seeing stars, or maybe those were the dots she was supposed to connect.
“Maybe. I don’t know where dad got them,” Adrien vaguely remembered Ladybug telling him she found them in a cute tourist trap two blocks from Master Fu’s shop. It was the closest they had ever come to talking about their life outside of crime-fighting.
“They’re just so….” Marinette stopped herself from saying familiar again.
Conveniently the elevator shuddered to a stop. There was a soft ‘bing’ over the speaker as the doors slid open, revealing the entrance bathrooms.
“Whaddaya know? Time really flies when yo—“
He felt the breath leave his lungs as Marinette shoved him aside and clambered like a simian toward a stall.
—
Marinette emerged feeling like a new woman. She strode out maintaining as much composure as a girl could muster after the scene she left behind. Adrien was sitting against the wall, but stood up when he saw her walk out.
“Thank you for waiting” Marinette sighed appreciatively. She looked cautiously at the elevator. “Do you still have the key?”
Adrien triumphantly withdrew the lanyard the tour guide had bestowed him. Marinette beamed when she saw the key. Her lips were an invigorating shade of red. Was she wearing lipstick in the elevator?
The two shuffled back into the service elevator as Adrien went to press the button. His hand stopped inches away from the floor they departed from.
“Or if you’d rather, I found some stairs while I was waiting around.” Adrien offered. “We could also take——“
Marinette smashed the elevator button and the doors closed. Nothing would take this moment from her.
“The elevator it is,” Adrien chimed.
Marinette ran a hand through her hair, hoping Adrien hadn’t noticed the twelve layers of makeup she had recently prepared.
—
Beyond the cage of the elevator, the cavern wall slowly scrolled away. Marinette and Adrien stood against opposite walls, occasionally making eye contact and diverting their gaze with a smile.
Adrien had his nose in his phone, and Marinette was transfixed by his features in the blue light.
“Watcha lookin’ at?” she questioned
“Oh, Nino’s sending me all the best moments of the tour,” Adrien smirked, passing the phone to her.
Marinette took the device and glanced at the screen. Kim and the other boys were standing behind certain rock formations, forcing the perspective that they had enormous granite schlongs.
“Hilarious,” Marinette said dryly.
Without a second thought, she began swiping through his other photos; A few selfies of him and Nino on the bus, an obligatory photo op with Chloe. Then things started to get really interesting. Every now and then there’d be entire sections of his camera roll devoted to photos of Ladybug. Marinette thought she recognized a few of them from Ayla’s Ladyblog. Interesting…
Adrien noticed she’d moved on to his other photos and became immediately nervous, “Oh those aren’t… Nino didn’t… um, are you done?”
Marinette pursed her lips and handed the phone back after being called out, “You got a lot of pictures of Ladybug, huh?”
Adrien's face might have flushed red, it was hard to tell from the one pitiful light in the elevator compartment.
“We’ll, she’s like,” Adrien began, trying to find his footing, “She’s a real hero. I dunno, I think that’s admirable. Every guy daydreams about saving the day or fighting bad guys, but she’s out there doing the real thing. I think it’s cool.”
Marinette genuinely beamed, “I bet she’d like to hear the praise. It’s probably a tough job saving the day all the time.”
Adrien looked beyond her at the cavern wall wistfully, “Oh I’m sure it is. But she’s not entirely alone. She does have Chat Noir, after all. They’re a great couple.”
Marinette almost choked, “Uh, team right? You meant they’re a great team?”
Adrien shrugged, much more aloof now. The way he smiled with his eyes closed made it hard to tell if he was being serious. “Hey, who’s to say? You spend that much time in life-threatening scenarios, you learn to rely on those who have your back. I bet Ladybug and Chat Noir have all kinds of secrets.”
Marinette frowned. Initially she thought Adrien’s fascination with Ladybug might come in handy. But the notion that Ladybug and Chat Noir had a thing going on had completely taken her aback. She was so intent on proving Adrien wrong, she didn’t even hear the elevator start to groan.
“Ladybug never said anything about being with Chat Noir,” Marinette said with a slight edge in her voice.
Adrien just shrugged again, “doesn’t have too. That Chat Noir guy’s a good looking fellow. Their business is their business.”
“No, no their business is not just their business. It’s the city’s business. It’s Paris’s business. They’re superheroes! They don’t have time to…to….date or flirt with each other! They need to focus on saving the day!” Marinette could feel the temperature rising in her face. Why was this bothering her so much?
“I mean, would it be so bad if they hooked up?” Adrien mused.
“Yes!” Marinette practically yelped, “It’s….It’s….entirely unprofessional!”
“But they’re the two most awesome and powerful figures in all Paris. They’d have super babies!”
“SUPER BABIES!!” Marinette choked, “Ladybug and Chat Noir do not have the time nor the place to be having children! How…How would…Where would they find the time to…you know?!?!?”
The elevator had begun to protest louder now, but neither of the teens had noticed.
Adrien gave her a knowing look. “Let me get this straight, your hang up is not that they shouldn’t have super babies…but that two people caught in constant pressure couldn’t or shouldn’t take a moment for themselves? Could you imagine if you never took a load off once in a while?”
She stopped, because she wanted to retort back. But she thought back to all her patrols, even all the quiet nights when the world didn’t need Ladybug and Chat Noir; and all the wonderful things they had done instead.
The time they got Ice cream. The time they went sight-seeing. The walks through the garden. The Christmas exchange where she had gotten those funny little socks with the——
“THE SOCKS!” Marinette shouted, throwing an accusatory finger at Adrien’s heels.
Adrien recoiled, “The what?”
“The green socks with the black paw prints! I KNEW I’d seen them before! At Les Souvenirs on 20th Street!” Marinette stared at him like a mad scientist having hatched her penultimate experiment.
Adrien, noticing the shuddering elevator for the first time, began to worry, “Uh, are you seeing this—“
“N-no! It’s you! The lady at the shop said nobody stops by anymore! That she hadn’t had a customer in weeks… Nobody else had even bought them! That means… You…”
“Marinette, the elevator…”
“You… You couldn’t be… I mean… they’re just socks, but you have them… you, of all people…”
“Marinette, please, look at the—“
“You have them… the socks… you’re…”
“Marinette, the elevator!”
“You’re Chat Noir!”
There was a painful shriek, and the elevator rattled with such sickening ferocity, the teens felt their stomachs in their throats. Snapped out of her revelation, Marinette gripped the handrail like a lifeline. Adrien spread his feet and braced his arms against the elevator walls, as if that would stop the fall. The whining metal was drawn out, like it would never end.
And then it was still and quiet. Oh, so painfully quiet. The two just stood there as the elevator light flickered, deciding whether or not to plunge the teens into absolute darkness. It settled, keeping Adrien and Marinette alone, bathed in that unsettling yellowish glow.