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The sun is just tipping towards the west when they file back in from their call, dirt and grime clinging to the truck after a long trip to the California coast. Truly, someone at state parks needs to figure something out. This is the fifth call in three days from hikers and tourists who can’t seem to stay on the marked paths.
They’ve treated bug bites, rashes, and dehydration. Mild gastric distress from a couple who decided to eat things they really, really shouldn’t. Each time, the rangers can only apologize because the people refused their help, demanding ‘real’ responders for treatment. Even after they explained they are trained medical responders, especially for such basic situations.
Eddie groans as he picks at the grass and mud embedded in the grooves of the tire. Then, he takes a step back, eyes trailing the coat of dust dulling that usual shine.
“Want some help?”
He catches the scrubber Buck tosses him with a smile, the man slipping past him with two buckets. “Sure. Thanks.”
The sudsy sponge barely hits the surface when movement catches his eye, Hen and Chim waving at him from the back of the ambulance. He spares a glance to make sure Buck can’t see them before looking back, making every kind of gesture with his face.
They make several back, mouthing things he’s not even gonna try to decipher, but he assumes they boil down to ‘ Do it now! ’ He regrets ever going to them for advice.
“Uh.” Buck pokes his head around the front, Hen and Chim whistling innocently as they restock their shelves. “Everything ok?”
“Yes!” Eddie swallows, willing the buzz under his skin to stop already. “Just got distracted by this huge dragonfly on the grill. Look.”
It’s not even a lie. The thing is massive and he knows Buck would genuinely enjoy examining it. Which he does. He’s taking pictures – probably to show Chris later – when Hen and Chim sneak one last gesture at him. ‘ Go on! ’
Fine. Here goes… everything .
“Hey, Buck?” Buck hums in response, gaze fixed to his screen as he scrolls through the photos he took. “Are you doing anything tomorrow?”
Those blue, blue eyes flicker up at that and he stuffs his phone away. “Nope, I’m all free. Did you have something in mind?” The words barely scrape the inside of his throat when- “ Oh! Wait, wait, wait.” He deflates when Buck pulls out his phone again. “A new exhibit at the zoo just opened and I promised Chris I’d take him to see it… Yes! They still have tickets available. Would it be ok if we all went tomorrow? We can make a day of it.”
Damn that smile. He can’t even be mad.
“Sounds perfect. Then, maybe stay the night? You haven’t got to try my french toast since I learned how to use a stove.”
“I gotta remember to send Linda a bouquet of flowers for that.” Buck bites his lip at the small shove. “But, seriously, that sounds great. I’m actually excited to try more of your cooking.”
“Yeah?” Buck gives a small noise of agreement as he focuses back on the truck. “Then maybe I can make you something special, sometime. For just the two of us.” His whole body halts as a watchful air surrounds Buck, the man turning towards him slowly. “I can make us dinner. You know. Like-... Like a dat–”
“BAMBI!”
All heads swing to the open bay doors. There, one mountain of a man stands proud with his hands at his waist. The sound of a sponge hitting the floor jerks his attention in the dead silence.
“... Rory? ” Oh. Eddie glances between them, and it’s like they’re in their own world. Buck says his name again, taking a step forward this time.
A smile turns the man’s lip as he scoffs and opens his arms. “Dammit, Bambi, will you move your ass already?”
Before Eddie can blink, Buck's launched himself onto the man’s chest, wrapped entirely around him from legs to arms to head. And the guy just holds him up like nothing.
Their booming laughter echoes around the station, Bobby approaching them just as Rory stops spinning them. He clears his throat loudly and Buck jumps down from the man with a bashful grin.
“Sorry, Cap. I just-” Another fit of giggles bursts from his mouth. “Guys, I’d like you to meet Roman ‘Rory’ Davidson. He was my mentor when I wanted to join the Navy SEAL’s and he’s just... the absolute coolest guy alive.”
“ So, he has a thing for military men,” Hen whispers to Chim, and Eddie’s heart sinks.
“I can’t believe you’re really here. Wha- How did you find me?”
“It wasn’t hard. There’s a new article about you and your crew almost every week. I’ve actually become somewhat of a fanboy.” Rory turns to Bobby with a salute. “Captain Nash, correct? Sir, you lead one hell of a team, here. The things you’ve overcome to care for this community? Truly unbelievable. Thank you for your service.”
Bobby nods his head with a smile, shaking the offered hand. “Thank you for yours. Where were you stationed?”
“All over, sir. All over.” He turns his attention to the paramedics. “ ‘Hen’ Wilson and ‘Chimney’ Han, right?” They nod and he leans in close. “Ma’am,” Hen raises her eyebrow at that, “is it true that you performed a thoracotomy in the back of a moving vehicle?”
Chim nudges her with a wide grin, Hen failing to hide her own. “I did. In that ambulance right there, actually.”
Rory claps his hands with a small noise of glee. “ Wow . Bambi, tell me you did something even half that impressive to get on this team.”
“Buck’s done plenty over the years to earn his place,” Bobby assures and Buck gushes under the praise. “Why don’t we all move to the loft to talk more. I’m making lasagna for the crew and you’re more than welcome to join us. Buck, Eddie, you can finish the truck later.”
“Thanks, Cap!”
Eddie watches Buck trot up the stairs by Rory’s side, each step feeling heavier than the last.
“ ‘Buck,’ huh? I guess it suits you, now. You’re not my little Bambi, anymore. Look at you!” The pit in his stomach burns as the man pokes and prods at Buck’s muscles. “Was there another Evan, again?”
“Three. And I had bulked up after you left so I figured I earned the name.”
“A scrawny buck , so you called him Bambi. Cute,” Hen smiles.
“Speaking of nicknames. Chimney! I could not find a single article that explains-”
“Ah, ah, no.” He puts his finger up. “I prefer you think of me only by what you’ve read and what you see here. There’s no need to discuss how I got the name.”
“ I’ll tell you later, ” Buck whispers and Chimney throws a bread roll at him.
Then, the dreaded moment comes.
“That just leaves you: Eddie Diaz, the Army medic.” He doesn’t think he can handle any intra-military branch teasing right now. If he even thinks about calling him a ‘grunt’ or a– “Was it hard adjusting to civilian life after you got back from Afghanistan?”
Oh.
Eddie blinks at that, the tense line of his shoulders dropping. It’s such a personal question, he wants to be mad that he asked it publicly… But the man sounds so genuine and heartfelt when he asks it. Like he truly needs the answer.
“A little… I’m better now, since I have my team.”
A wave of pride spreads across their faces while Rory lets the words wash over him. “I just finished my last tour. Now I gotta figure out what to do next.”
“You’re done? No more. You’re sure?” Everyone can hear the desperation in Buck’s voice. Rory just fits the palm of his hand behind Buck’s neck and nods. “Good. That’s good. Um, where are you staying? Last I checked, your apartment was in San Diego.”
“Well, the first thing I wanted to do when I landed was find you, so I did.” Bobby glances his way but Eddie ignores it. “Depending on how that went, I figured I’d get a hotel for a couple nights. Roam the city.”
“Don’t bother with a hotel. Stay with me.” That feels like a nail in the coffin. “Really, it’s completely fair. See, since I was driving all over the country, I never really settled anywhere long. Leases were too permanent so if a job didn’t come with some kind of housing, I’d sleep in my Jeep. But becoming a SEAL takes time. I met Rory while training with some other recruits and we started talking. He offered to let me crash at his place until his next deployment. It was only a month but by then, he’d taught me training exercises, how to survive Hell Week, close combat skills–”
“Hold on, you never even made it to Hell Week, and I wouldn’t consider me pinning you to the floor for twenty minutes ‘close combat.’” Eddie can’t bring himself to join everyone’s laughter.
“I almost beat you that one time. I got you in a headlock and everything.”
“He spent an entire morning waiting to ambush me from a tree. Dropped six feet to land on my back and I still had him on the ground, hogtied in his own jacket, in under three minutes.” Hen and Chimney cackle loudly, and Buck glows as he watches them. “I was in a bad headspace at being stuck in the states for so long. Buck definitely made the time go easier.”
Memories of his own time between tours start to edge towards the front of his mind when the next question snaps him back.
“Have you thought about what kind of work you want to do now that you’re out?”
“Anything but a lawyer, office worker, or coffee barista. It’s just not worth it.”
“What about a first responder?” Eddie throws Bobby a look that screams ‘traitor .’ “LA could always use more good people on the team.”
His fingers dig through his sleeve when Buck gasps, the widest grin splitting his face.
“I hadn’t considered it, no. But I’ll keep that in mind.”
Thankfully, that’s when the alarm bell rings. Everyone except Buck rushes towards the trucks, Hen and Chim dragging Eddie along before he can hear what he has to say.
He curses loudly when they reach the bottom of the stairs, the sirens drowning it out. “You saw the way they look at each other, right? Tell me they’re not past lovers separated by war. This is just like my abuela’s telenovela,” he grumbles with a huff.
“Breathe, Eddie.” Hen runs her hand down his arm. “We don’t know the extent of their relationship or if Rory even likes men. They could just be friends.”
“What friends look at each other like that?”
“Best…friends?” Hen elbows Chimney in the ribs.
“We’ll figure out if they’re friends, best friends, or boyfriends later. Right now, Bobby looks ready to reprimand all of us if we don’t hurry up and get to this call. Come on.”
By the time Eddie hops into the truck, Buck is right behind him, a smile on his lips. “Sorry about that, Cap. I figured Rory could head to my place to settle in so I had to give him my address and key.”
“You just gave him your key? The guy you knew for a month and haven’t seen in years? You just trust him to not snoop through all your stuff or, I don’t know, rob you?”
Buck only seems baffled by Eddie’s questions. “He let a homeless punk with no money into his house an hour after we met. And I really got to know him that month we spent together. Trust me, Eddie, he’s one of the good ones.”
Eddie drops his mic, crossing his arms over his chest as he glares out the window. “You sound like a damn teenager.”
The rest of the shift drags on, especially with Buck determined to catch his eye and Eddie avoiding him. He's going to say something he regrets and his stomach is already in knots over this. They should just focus on the job.
"Hey." It's the fear laced through the word that makes Eddie face him. "Are we still on for tomorrow, or…?"
His bag slumps from his shoulder as reality smacks him over the head.
"Yes. Of course we are. I'm–" He sighs. "I'm sorry, Buck. I've been an idiot. Chris is going to be so excited when I tell him. We're all gonna have a great time."
That doesn't ease the white-knuckled grip Buck has on his strap.
"Uh," he tries before taking a deep breath and shutting his eyes. "I was wondering if it would be ok to invite Rory. Because. I– He's only here for a couple days, as far as I know. So. I get if it's weird and you don't want a stranger around Chris. We did make these plans before he showed up, so he'll completely understa..."
Eddie thinks carefully as Buck rambles on. A stranger around his son. Buck's (potential) long-lost love joining them on what was originally supposed to be a date. That Eddie chickened out of asking. And maybe lost his chance forever.
That doesn't change the way Buck and Rory look at each other. As much as he focuses on the way Rory looks at Buck, he can't deny the shine in Buck's eye when he looks back. Eddie won’t be the reason that light goes out. He never wants to hurt Buck like that.
"Ok." Buck stops mid sentence, staring at him. "He can come. But only to the zoo. I still don't know him enough to invite him into my home."
A warm smile bursts across his face. "Yes! Of course. Thank you, Eddie, he's really going to appreciate this. I know it."
With that, he runs off towards his Jeep and Eddie's left to watch him go, Hen and Chimney poking their heads into the locker room.
"So," Chim starts, "do you have any kind of plan or are you running into this blind? Because I have a feeling tomorrow's gonna test your patience when it comes to the 6’5 Iron Giant. And if you snap at him, you'll be hurting Buck, too."
"Some of Buck's de-escalation techniques could really come in handy right now."
Eddie exhales heavily, frowning at the floor before meeting their eyes. "I don't have a plan and I don't want to cause a scene. So, I think I'm going to call Frank for some advice. I really don't want to mess this up for Buck."
The paramedics share a pitying look.
"You're a good man, Diaz." Chim pats his shoulder.
"If you need anything, call us. We'll be there for emotional support."
"Thanks," Eddie smiles.
And then it's tomorrow. Instead of Buck picking them up like usual, they decide to take separate vehicles and meet there. For convenience. Not at all as an emergency escape route for Eddie.
The hour’s worth of Frank's advice is scattered around his brain. He wanted to write it down but he couldn’t risk Buck seeing it and calling the whole thing off.
So, he's fine. It's fine. Just. Keep. Breathing.
The nice thing is, it's not as hard as he thinks. Buck is still his usual, energetic self and the amount of enthusiasm he puts into speaking about the animals is contagious.
Unfortunately, with the odd combo of Rory and Christopher beside him plus himself trailing behind, it seems a few people (namely kids) are mistaking Buck for a zoologist. And with them joining the group, even more people are piling on.
He's gathering a crowd, and the smallest spark of panic flickers over his face. There's a reason Buck turned down Bobby's offer to lead a school presentation.
Their eyes meet and Eddie mimes a deep breath for him for him to follow, then holds up a finger as he slips away.
"Hi," he says to the employee giggling at Buck's antics. "My friend over there is in a bit of a situation. Do you think you can help him out?"
"I got him," she winks.
Her uniform makes it easy to slide through the crowd but instead of breaking them apart, she stands next to Buck with a bright smile, listening intently. As soon as he finishes a fact, she jumps in with another. He stares at her with wonder and a deep relief in his eyes. They go back and forth a few times, the woman giving several personal stories about the animals behind her and around the zoo. Subtly, she guides the group down the path and away from Buck, giving Eddie a quick thumbs up while never missing a beat.
"Oh my god, thank you. " Buck moves to collapse himself onto Eddie but still keeps that inch of space between them. Ignoring the eyebrow Rory raises at them, he shifts his focus back to Buck, Chris bumping against them with a laugh. "Yeah, sorry, Chris. I'm not great at public speaking. It's easier when it's just a few people I know."
"It's ok, Buck. You did a good job while it lasted."
Long fingers tangle through that curly hair. "Thanks, buddy. So, what do you think? Time for lunch?"
One excited cheer for pizza is enough for them. The issue comes when Chris wants to stand in line with Buck, telling his father and Rory to go find a table. Buck's face falls, and he looks ready to switch places, but Eddie's committed to making this a good day for everyone.
"Sounds good. I think I see one over there. We'll grab it and wave you two down when the pizza is ready, ok?"
Before Buck can protest, Chris takes off towards the line and he has no choice but to follow. That doesn't stop him from throwing a worried glance back at them as he goes.
The zoo is crowded with the new exhibit opening but they do manage to find an empty table, even if they have to throw a couple of empty trays away. Ugh, people.
"I can't remember the last time I've been to a zoo. This is actually pretty fun. Especially the predators. Did you see the way they were looking at me? They can tell when something is off. It's ingrained in them to pick out the weakest prey."
"I noticed that the first few times we brought Chris. I felt horrible, but Chris loved that the lions would come straight up to him at the fence." Eddie pauses. "Wait, why would they target you? You're a walking wall of muscle."
Laughter bursts from his chest, Rory shaking his head. "So is a buffalo but if it's got a weak link, they'll exploit it. See?" He lifts his right pant leg to reveal a metal rod sticking into his shoe. "I lost it on my last tour. Bastards refused to put me back in the field. I spent the rest of my time doing PT and paperwork. Spent my off time reading about Bambi and the rest of you. When I read about his leg being crushed under a firetruck..." He exhales slowly. "I got worried. Sure, there were plenty of articles after that, but I still needed to see him. Just in case. We talked about it last night, and I'm glad he's doing ok."
"He is," Eddie grins. "And he's really happy that you're here. I can tell how much you mean to him… Which makes me wonder why he never really talked about you. Did something happen?"
"Well…" Rory rubs the back of his neck. "See, Bambi was realizing the SEALs wasn't for him and that was fine. I'd never call him a quitter. But after all the stories I'd told him over the weeks, he couldn't understand how someone could just shut off their emotions and get the job done. He got angry and we got into a bit of a fight over it. We'd made up by the time I had to fly out but I don't think that was the only thing bothering him about my deployment. I think he was scared I wouldn't come back, one way or another."
"So, what, he just stopped talking to you?"
"What? Oh! No," Rory scoffs. "That was just Bambi being Bambi. Do you have any idea how many phones that guy can go through in a month? He kept buying cheap burner ones because he didn't have money to replace his original, so he never had a permanent number. I told him to memorize mine, but did he listen? No. Things were good up until our last text so I already knew what happened. It was still fun, yesterday, watching him grovel and apologize for dropping his phone down the sewer at an airport. He really thought that would be the last time we spoke to each other. Not a fun topic to bring up.”
“True.” The way Buck struggled talking about his parents, Abby, and Red. Asking Eddie not to ignore him, even if it meant he’d yell. It made sense. “You’re back, now. That’s what counts.” Rory smiles. “Do you think you’ll stay? LA has a half-decent VA’s office.”
“Only half?”
Eddie chuckles. “Come on, I’m trying to convince you to stay here. Don’t ask for the truth.”
A somber quiet falls over them.
“Buck’s leg isn’t the only reason I came to find him. I-, uh. I’ve been in the military since I was 18. Fifteen years and I’ve been with my team for the last six.” His hands wring together. “I took the hit. I’m the one who got discharged. Everyone else is still out there and... I guess I wanted to see a familiar face when I got back. So I looked Buck up… I'm not sure what to do now that I've found him."
Whatever he could possibly say to that, it’s cut off by Rory waving Buck and Christopher over, hopping out of his seat to grab the pizza from his hands. Buck thanks him, then searches Eddie’s face for some sort of idea of how things are going. He must find what he’s looking for because he breathes out, the hard line of his eyebrow fading.
After some overpriced food, another lap around the park, and a show, they’re finally approaching the parking lot.
“Hey, Rory,” Eddie says before they can depart towards their cars, “why don’t you and Buck come over? I bought too much ice cream yesterday” – in case Buck rejected him today – “and we could use some help finishing it.”
Rory actually looks more surprised than Buck. “Uh. Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. Are you sure, Chris?” Chris nods. “Take your time deciding. If you’re too tired, it’s fine. Otherwise, we’ll see you there, ok?”
Rory and Buck can only mumble dumbfounded responses as he picks up Chris and they wave goodbye.
“What do you think of Rory, Dad? I think he’s cool.”
“Yeah,” Eddie sighs. “He is pretty cool.”
The two of them are on the couch picking out a movie when they hear Buck’s Jeep pull up. He takes a second to compose himself before opening the door, and he’s shocked to see Buck alone.
“Hey.” He tries to clear the concern from his voice. “Was Rory too tired, afterall?”
“Uh, yeah.” His eyes trail to Chris on the couch before nodding towards the kitchen. Eddie can’t decipher the look on his face, so he follows silently, thinking back to their earlier conversation. “Oh my god.” He snaps his head up. “You really did buy too much ice cream. What the hell happened?”
“I couldn’t decide and Chris said, ‘Just get them all.’ So I did.” Buck barks out a laugh and Eddie squeezes his gut to try and smother the butterflies. “So, what’s the real reason Rory didn’t come?”
A pink tinge rushes over those cheeks. “Oh, that. Um. He figured, since he kinda crashed our original plan at the zoo, that he should let us have the evening together. I told him I wouldn’t be spending the night” – the blush runs deeper – “so, yeah. Sorry I’ll miss your french toast.”
“Right.” Ouch. “Sure, that’s ok. I probably need more practice at them anyways.”
“No, hey. I know they’re already delicious.” Buck bites his lip as he thinks. “How about you and Chris come over to my place in the morning. Then, everyone’s comfortable and I still get to eat your food.”
Eddie’s stomach twists. “Comfortable? Did I make him uncomfortable? I know I was weird yesterday, but–”
“No, no! I just meant-... You know. Inviting someone into your home is a big deal and he really appreciated the gesture, but he gets it. He’s a stranger and it’s hard to trust strangers in your safe space. Especially with a kid. So, thanks, but he’s not gonna push it.”
“Well, if he sticks around, I guess we’ll get there eventually.” There’s an odd silence at that. “What?”
“Nothing. I just-... Rory told me that you guys had a nice talk. That you were even trying to convince him to stay here in LA… Thank you for that. He hasn’t had friends or family outside the military in a long time. He was nervous the whole ride to the zoo ‘cuz he didn’t want to mess things up.”
“He didn’t, we all had a good time. I can see why you like him so much.”
Buck hums, avoiding his eyes. “So, breakfast?”
“Tomorrow morning. Do you need me to pick anything up on the way?”
“Nope. You and Chris are all I need.” Eddie almost forgets to breathe. “That–... I didn’t- I mean–”
“Dad! Buck! Are we still watching a movie?”
“Coming, buddy!” Buck cringes at the crack in his voice. He stares at the cabinet for a moment before shoving a dozen snacks in his arms and grabbing a few drinks for good measure. “I’m gonna-... Yeah, I’m just gonna.”
Eddie doesn’t have the heart to remind him they were supposed to eat ice cream. He’ll save it for another day. A good one, hopefully.
…
Eddie gives the counter one final wipe before stepping back, Buck setting out the plates for them to fill. They glance over at the rambunctious laughter. Christopher holds himself in place as he sits on Rory’s back, the man smiling brightly as he counts out his push-ups.
That familiar shine is back in Buck’s eyes and Eddie bites back a sigh. “He’s good with kids.”
“He is. He’s wanted kids for forever but he said he’s waiting for the right person to raise some with.” There’s a longing there and Eddie has to turn away. “I told him he’ll have to take chances and put himself out there, but I know he’ll find someone, eventually.”
“He’s already found the perfect person…”
He must have said it a little too loudly because Buck spins around with wide, devastated eyes. And then it clicks. Oh . Rory doesn’t love Buck back. Not the way he wants. And Eddie just rubbed salt in the wound.
“I’m–”
“Smells good.” He slaps a casual look on his face as Rory and Chris take their seats at the island. Pushing their plates over, they dig in and Buck makes every ridiculous noise he can to make them smile. “Wow, Eddie. You know as well as me that pretty much everything tastes better than MREs, but this is genuinely amazing.”
“Thank you. My friend, Linda, taught me the recipe while I was working at the dispatch center.”
“Oh, cool! I didn’t know you were a dispatcher.”
“I wasn’t. I just managed their social media for a while and answered basic public questions. No real calls… It was nice, but I’m better suited for the field. The 118 is where I belong.”
Chris is on his last bite of french toast when the piece falls from his fork and onto his shirt, a long streak of syrup trailing down it.
"Whoops." Buck picks the toast off and throws it onto the plate. "That's ok, buddy. Let's go get you changed real quick and then we can show Rory our videogames."
Eddie hardly gives it a second thought, but Rory watches him carry Chris up the stairs with a strange look.
"Does that mean Buck has some of Chris' clothes here with him?"
For a moment, the question doesn’t even register in his brain. "Uh, yeah. Some were left by accident after sleepovers but there's a couple outfits here for emergencies."
"Are there also clothes for Hen's kids? Or Chimney's?"
Another moment. "I… actually don't know."
"Does he have some of yours?" A red heat bursts under his cheeks. "I'll take that as a yes," Rory snickers around the rim of his mug.
He wants to say something but he's not wrong. There are a pair of sweats and two comfy tees in Buck's middle drawer that are his. And if he were to go home and walk into his laundry room right now, he'd find Buck's favorite hoodie.
"It's not like that. We just spend a lot of time together." Stop. Breathe. Refocus. "We're friends."
“I don’t doubt that. Yesterday, at the zoo, was the happiest I’ve ever seen him. He loves you two like crazy.”
“Yeah,” Eddie mumbles as Buck trots down the stairs, a giggling Christopher slung over his shoulder. They love him, too.
“Ok! We’re all cleaned up and ready to play.” He drops Chris (gently) onto the couch, before glancing over. “You coming, Eddie?”
“In a sec. I’m gonna finish cleaning up. You teach Rory the basics, then I’ll show him everything you’re doing wrong.”
A toothy grin spreads across Buck’s face and he skips back towards the couch. Eddie goes back to the sink -- his heart stuttering, his hands weak -- and tries not to drop the plate.
…
“Good morning, boys.” Hen and Chim stroll into the locker room. “How was your weekend?”
“Great! Christopher got to meet Rory and the four of us hung out both days. Oh! And the new exhibit at the zoo is incredible! There’s–”
“Buckley! I need some help chopping these vegetables for omelets.”
“Coming, Cap!” Buck looks between the paramedics and Eddie. “I’ll tell you later.”
And he’s off. Leaving Eddie alone and cornered for their interrogation.
“You all hung out both days? Are you ok?” Eddie bats Chim’s hand away from his forehead. “What on Earth possessed you to agree to that when you know you’re in love with him?”
“Buck.” Chim twists his lips. “And I didn’t just hang out with Rory… I talked to him about possibly staying here in LA.”
“ Wow ,” she stresses. “That hurt me . Did– Has he made a decision?”
“I don’t think so but there’s something else.” Chim and Hen brace themselves. “I-... Look, it’s obvious their relationship is deep but I don’t think Rory is in love with Buck. And I think Buck knows it…" Eddie slumps down onto the bench. "This must be crushing him.”
“Oh, Eddie.” They sit beside him, Hen rubbing his shoulder gently.“What made you think Buck knows?”
“Whenever we’d talk about him, Buck would get this look on his face. Like he was sad. And when I implied that they’d get together--... I don’t know. It’s like he wanted to cry! I didn’t even have a chance to apologize for it. He’s acting fine, now, but- Just. Do I bring it up again? Do I ignore it?”
"In our experience, ignoring it usually isn’t the best option," Chim smirks. "I'd say take the same advice you gave me about Maddie. Talk to him and be honest about your feelings. Even if he needs some time to get over Rory, at least you'll both have your answers. And you might actually be able to move forward, eventually."
The bell rings and they take off towards the trucks, Eddie giving them one last look before getting in.
Ok.
…
"Hey, Buck?"
Buck can't quite catch the giant yawn in time, both of them waiting patiently as it passes. "Ugh. Sorry," he chuckles, one eye struggling to stay open. "Yeah, Eddie?"
Maybe he shouldn't do this after a 12 hour shift. Maybe he shouldn't do this at all…
"Nevermind. I was gonna ask if you wanted to stop by for a beer but you should probably get some sleep. And I'm sure Rory is waiting for you."
He's already taking a step towards his truck when Buck rushes in.
"Wait! Um. Rory actually went to check out the coastline. He took the 1 over to Santa Barbara this morning after I left for work. He won't be back for a couple days, so I'm free.” That backfired. “Wanna take my Jeep and I’ll drive us back here in the morning?”
And he wants to spend the night. This is either gonna go really well, or very, very badly.
“Sure.”
Buck hums along to the songs on the radio as they cruise down the road, traffic clearing away with the fading sunlight. He hates how hard it is not to stare at that golden halo around his head. He just wants to take a picture.
When the door opens and Buck excitedly looks around, he mentally slaps himself. “Oh, sorry. I forgot to tell you Chris is with Pepa tonight. She said she missed him.”
“Awe, that’s ok. I totally know the feeling.” He makes a B-line for the kitchen instead, not an ounce of hesitation as he opens the fridge and pulls out a beer for each of them. “You wanna watch a scary movie, then? Or something R-rated, since Chris isn’t here?”
No. Focus. He can do this.
“Actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about. If that’s ok.” Buck keeps a neutral face as he nods, a small gesture he knows keeps Eddie calm. “Um.” His fingers squeeze around his bottle. “I know you and Rory have this special connection” – he fumbles as a shadow flickers behind Buck’s eyes – “but I don’t know how deep it really goes. If you have feelings for him, or-...”
Buck lets out a harsh scoff, then bites it back with a wince.
“Sorry,” he whispers, fidgeting with the label on his beer. Eddie opens his mouth to say something but the bottle sets on the counter with a click. “There’s nothing between us, Eddie, so-... It’s fine, ok? I mean, he’s never really had a preference, it’s about the person to him. So I’m sure he’ll say yes. Just-...” The label tears and he leaves the bottle entirely. “I think I should go.”
A cold chill runs down his spine and his hand is tugging Buck back before he can think about it.
“Wait!” Dammit, he’s really gonna do this. “If you’re so sure he’ll say yes, why haven’t you asked him?”
And… The blank stare is unexpected. “Asked him what? If he's ace or pan?”
“What? No! Asked him out !”
Wheels are definitely turning between the two of them but now he’s wondering if they’re in opposite directions.
“Ask him out… on a date?” Ok, he’s getting impatient. “Why would I ask Rory out on a date? You’re the one who wants to date him.”
“ WHAT?”
Panic sets in at that, Buck flushing crimson red. “ You! You like Rory!” His one-handed gestures only grow more wild at Eddie’s silence. “You got weird when he showed up and then suddenly you’re telling him he should stay in LA. You invite him into your home. You see how good he is with Chris and say he’s already found ‘the perfect person!’ ”
The beginning of an aneurysm is coming on with all the mental gymnastics he’s having to do.
“I-... Buck! I said all that for you . Because you’re in love with him.”
“ What?! Rory is like a brother to me. I’m not in love with him, I’m in love with you !”
The words somehow pluck the sound around them, their hearts still and their lungs too scared to take the next breath. Buck shrinks against the counter, the inch of space from an open drawer slamming shut and startling them both.
“Sorry,” Buck chokes, but he still won’t raise his head. “Sorry. I’m-... I’m in love with you, Eddie.” A sniff. “And I don’t think I know how to hide it anymore. I really tried, I’m so sorry. I just–”
Eddie squeezes his hand until he notices, blue eyes glistening under the kitchen lights. “Buck.”
It takes no effort at all to tug Buck to his chest, one hand guiding those lips to his as the other tangles their fingers. Buck curls his free arm around Eddie’s waist, hoisting him closer and closer. They kiss until the need for air overwhelms them, but they don’t stray far, their mouths hardly an inch apart.
“If that wasn’t clear enough,” Eddie pants, “I’m in love with you, too.”
A bubbly giggle rises from Buck’s chest and he hauls Eddie in again and again and again, kissing him like he’ll never get enough. And Eddie’s willing to give it.
“Hey,” he murmurs when his lips are free and Buck’s trail down his neck. “We have work tomorrow. We need to go to bed.” The answering groan rumbles against his skin. “Come on. You can be the big spoon.”
Buck shoots up at that, the sun itself in his smile. He doesn’t even respond before he takes Eddie’s hand, rushing them both towards the bedroom. There’s a bit of a mad dash to change into their sleep clothes and then Buck is behind Eddie, picking him up by the waist and dropping him onto the mattress. And Eddie laughs, loud and unabashed. It’s the hardest he’s laughed in a while and he loves it. He loves him.
Buck turns off the light and suddenly, it’s as if a switch has turned back on in Buck’s head. His foot hesitates to lift from the ground, his knee swaying towards the bed, then shifting back, never touching it.
There’s probably some key words he needs to say here, something that will stick with Buck and assure him everything’s ok, but he can’t think of any right now. So, instead, he sticks out his hand. Buck takes it with a sigh of relief, crawling onto the mattress next to him. Once he’s molded along Eddie’s back, he wraps Buck’s hand around his middle just in case he still has doubts. There’s only so far he can twist in this position but Buck seems to get the message, leaning in for one last kiss.
“Goodnight, Buck.”
“Goodnight, Eddie.”
…
Eddie nearly jumps out of bed at the frantic voice, his feet hitting the ground before his eyes can adjust to the morning light.
He skids into the living room, spotting the deep curve to Buck’s brow as he clammers his shoes into his hands.
“What? What’s wrong?”
Buck holds up a finger, switching the call to speaker as he shoves his socks on. “Tell me where you are, I’m coming to get you.”
“Bambi.” Rory sounds exacerbated, if slightly fond. “I told you, it’s fine.”
“You had a panic attack at a grocery store. That’s not fine. Tell me where you are, right now.”
Eddie hisses in sympathy. “First time in a store since you got out?” Rory hums. “I remember that. I thought it was just me until I told my therapist about it last year.”
“Yeah, turns out it’s a whole thing for some people. Lucky us.” Eddie chuckles. “But like I was telling Bambi, I’m fine. This group of marines recognized what was happening and helped me through it. Explained the whole nonsense in our brains. They’re on their way to their base in Oceanview and invited me along. They figured they could pull some favors and get me a quick meeting in the VA’s office so I can figure out what to do next.”
“Do you want me to meet you there? I can sit with you for moral support.”
“Bambi, it’s ok. I’m ok. I promise.” Buck exhales slowly, laying his shoes back on the floor. "Besides, you got work today. Someone needs to be there to serve the people of LA.”
“My shift doesn’t start for another two hour. I’m sure Bobby could’ve found a replacement by then.”
A strange silence rings at that. “You mean you’re not at work right now?”
“No, I’m at–” Buck freezes, Rory taking the opportunity to swoop back in with a shout.
“You spent the night with Eddie! I knew there was something between you two! And you had the nerve to look me in the eye and say there wasn’t.” – “ Rory.” – “You couldn’t shut up about him and Christopher the entire first night I was there. How much you love hanging out with them,” – “ Rory .” – “and hoped Eddie found someone who wasn’t afraid to tell him how they feel.”
“Ok, I’m hanging up now!”
“No, you’re not!” Eddie nabs the phone from Buck’s grasp, pinning him to the ground before he can snatch it back. “So,” he switches the phone off speaker just to really make Buck squirm, “what else did Buck say about me?”
“Eddie!”
“Plenty. Not that I didn’t notice you, too. I gotta say, you handle jealousy well.”
“Thanks. It wasn’t easy.”
“Did Bambi finally tell you it’s not like that between us? I told him it wasn’t a good idea to bring me along to the zoo. He never listens.”
“No. He really doesn’t.” Eddie grabs the arm that breaks free, tucking it against his back, and Buck drops his head onto the rug with a groan. “But he’s right to, most of the time. It’s one of the reasons I love him.”
Buck tenses beneath him, peeking over his shoulder and up at Eddie.
“Tell him I’ll be back in a couple days and to call me after his shift, ok? Oh, and Eddie.” Eddie blinks at the sudden drop in tone. “I don’t ever want to have the shovel talk with you, understand? You don’t have just his big sister to worry about anymore. You’re on my radar now, too. So be nice to him. Or find out.”
The call ends and he drops the phone onto the couch, releasing the man from his hold.
“What’d he say?”
Eddie smiles. “That he loves you.” That same light flickers behind Buck’s eyes and Eddie finally realizes where he’s seen it before: when Buck looks at Maddie. “He’ll be back in a couple days and he’s expecting a call from you after work. Probably to get more details.”
“He didn’t threaten you did he?” He at least tries to hide his reaction. “Oh my god, I told him never to do that! We spent a whole day watching romcoms once and I told him how much I hate shovel talks. They’re completely unfair to the other party.”
“Does that mean I shouldn’t be expecting one from Maddie, too?”
“Absolutely not! I’m gonna call her and tell her not to right now.”
Eddie shuffles the phone away before Buck can press Dial, bringing their lips together instead.
“Evan.” Buck shivers under his grasp. “It’s five in the morning on her day off. If you call Maddie right now, I’m not the one she’s gonna need a shovel for.” The small chuckle against his mouth is enough excuse for him to steal another kiss. “How about we go back to bed, watch stupid videos on our phone for an hour, then FaceTime Chris before he heads to school?”
A pleasant sound reverberates through Buck’s chest as he wraps his arms around Eddie's neck. “I’d like that.”
“Good. And, hey.” Buck watches him with expectant eyes. “I love you.”
The sun rises with the curve of his smile. “I love you, too.”