Chapter Text
When did the term ‘family’’... start to mean something else for me?
It had always been something easy to define. It was a definition that did not change, even now. No matter which dictionary you flipped through, it would aways come down to the same thing. I’d never attached a deeper meaning to that, just as my family didn’t attach anything deeper to our connections.
So then, when did my understanding of it start to change?
Was it when I was adopted? When I was separated from my real family? When I met the person who would become my older brother?
Some families are built on coincidences. For people who are not biologically related to come together, to become connected in a way that should have been unique to those with blood relations... Nothing but a series of coincidences that binds together those who should, by all accounts, be nothing more than strangers.
Coincidences. That was all it should have been. And yet, recently I’ve begun to think it might be more than that.
When did I start seeing this world differently? When did light return to my eyes, after I had spent so long killing my emotions?
Was it perhaps... when I met the person known as Emiya Shirou?
All the people I’ve met. All the experiences I’ve gained. For all of them to converge at this point, for me to wander into something a Holy Grail War under these very circumstances... It’s hard to write it all off as nothing but a string of coincidences.
So perhaps, me meeting her in this war... Perhaps that too, is more than just coincidence.
Perhaps it was, as they say, an act of fate.
-
“Sakura-san?”
Matou Sakura snapped out of the daze she was in, and turned to the one who had called out to her.
“Are you okay?” Miyu asked. “You just sort of... spaced out for a bit.”
“I’m... okay,” Sakura replied, her lips curling into what she’d hoped was a reassuring, albeit shaky, smile. “I was just lost in thought.”
Had that been all there was to it, her words would have carried more confidence. But Sakura knew better than anyone that being ‘lost in thought’ wasn’t something so simple.
To escape from whatever situation was being forced upon her, to be lost in whatever distractions she could come up with... it was all just to avoid facing the reality before her eyes. At some point in time, just the sight of her own home would make her space out on reflex, as though her body wanted to distance itself from whatever lay beyond those walls.
Even though her heart had given up a long time ago.
Why did I bring her to a place like this?
“This is my home,” she said. “Come on in.”
Miyu was, amongst other things, intelligent beyond her years. Knowledge gleaned from books, practical experience in both magecraft, not to mention a relatively normal social circle had afforded her skills no child her age should have. Amongst those was the ability to read some expressions, even though social cues were largely beyond her (though it could be argued that it was more due to a lack of interest than inability to read them).
In particular, she was capable of picking up expressions that were very personal to her. Thus, the fleeting shift in Sakura’s eyes as she said ‘home’ had not escaped her notice.
She doesn’t see this place as home, Miyu surmised. Is this why she goes to Shirou-san’s place? But why-
Catching herself in the middle of forming various theories to solve the mystery, Miyu found her mind drifting to a singular answer. There was no real logical reason for the association, nor was there any evidence to back it up. She had simply arrived at that abrupt conclusion naturally, almost by instinct. And yet, she was fairly certain she was correct nonetheless.
She’s just like me.
The Emiya household, for all its similarities in appearance to the one in her world, wasn’t home. But at the same time, neither was the one back in her world; like Matou Sakura, Sakatsuki Miyu was not one who belonged in that place.
But the reason they both gravitated towards it... was undoubtedly because he had made them feel they belonged.
So then, Sakura-san-
“Oh, what’s this?”
Cutting into her thoughts was the voice of an old man. Despite the tone carrying no malice and the words carrying no hostility, Miyu still felt a chill down her spine as she turned to face the speaker.
A thin, wrinkly old man with a short stature. At first glance, that was all he was. An ordinary elderly man, whose feebleness was only logical given his apparent age. But all the same, Miyu could not ignore the sense of foreboding that told her in no uncertain terms:
Run.
“How rare for Sakura to bring home a guest,” he said, his lips curling into what she supposed was a smile. Whatever warmth that expression was supposed to express, it did not reach his eyes. “I’m her grandfather, Matou Zouken. Please make yourself-”
The false smile slid off his face almost instantly, and the dark shadows in his eyes grew deeper. With the alertness of a ravenous predator, his gaze bore down on Miyu, who hid behind Sakura on reflex.
“... How curious,” he muttered. “Sakura, you head in first. I recognize our little guest. I need a few words with her.”
Sakura opened her mouth, and for an instant Zouken thought he saw something akin to defiance in her eyes and demeanor before it was forced back down her throat. Sakura had been displaying some odd behavior lately, but he had paid it no mind back then; after all, there was no way Sakura could possibly disobey him.
Not after all that training.
“... I understand,” Sakura said, her voice lacking any of the energy Miyu had become familiar with. Then, as though she had not been the one to invite Miyu here, she simply turned and walked into the mansion, without so much as a glance at the young girl.
“Now then,” Zouken said. “Am I right to assume you’re some manner of imitation of the Holy Grail?”
Miyu froze.
“Don’t look so surprised,” Zouken chuckled. “As one of the original creators of the ritual that is Fuyuki’s Holy Grail War, I’ve developed quite the discerning eye.”
One of the original...? Despite her body being all but petrified, Miyu’s mind worked furiously to process everything she was hearing. But that’s impossible...! Based on Sapphire’s information, this is the fifth Holy Grail War, and the previous four took place 60 years apart! If he had been around since the first one, then...!
“Things have been rather... strange this time,” Zouken went on. “The fifth war taking only ten years to start aside, multiple anomalies have been running around causing trouble. If memory serves... That Emiya boy was collaborating with the copy of the Einzberns’ homunculus, yes? So then are you also-”
“Illya isn’t a copy.”
The fear hadn’t subsided. The revulsion hadn’t dissipated. Yet, in the face of what she took to be a thinly veiled insult towards Illya, Miyu’s lips moved for the first time.
“What did you do to Sakura-san?” she asked, emboldened by the spark of courage her voice gave her. “The Sakura-san I know... is entirely different from the person I saw earlier. What did you do to her?”
“‘The Sakura you know’ huh...” Zouken mused. Then, he let out a hearty laugh. “Well then, how about I show you? The ‘real’ Matou Sakura.”
-
“It’s not my fault!”
Familiar words. Familiar force. Familiar aggression. Everything about the scenario unfolding before Sakura’s eyes was familiar, but a part of her felt incredibly alien.
She knew this pattern. She was accustomed to the direction this would take. She accepted what was coming. It was all a common occurrence to her by now, to the point where she could just leave her body to move automatically, while her mind disconnected itself from the reality thrust upon her.
And yet, a part of her felt out of place. A part of her that, even now, wanted to fight back against whatever was being forced upon her.
“You’re just like them!” Shinji’s words were accompanied by cold prickle of several droplets of spit as they splattered against her face. “Looking down on me... Like you’re all better than I am!”
“Nii-san, that’s not-”
Shut up, shut up, shut up. Don’t talk back to me.
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Shinji hollered. “Don’t talk back to me!”
I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s all your fault.
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Rough, familiar hands force her down onto the bed. “It’s all your fault.”
Was it really?
“All your fault... That’s right...”
Was it really?
“No it’s not.”
Shinji froze. A tone unlike anything he ever heard from Sakura had, undoubtedly, just emerged from Sakura’s lips. But there was no way Sakura of all people could defy him. Was there?
The sharp, crisp sound of a palm against flesh echoed throughout the room. As the red mark left by Shinji’s hand slowly bloomed on Sakura’s skin, her eyes grew wide.
Not from the pain. The pain, she was used to by now. Used to worse, in fact. No, she was surprised by her own audacity.
If I just keep quiet, it’ll all be over soon. That’s how it’s always been.
Grandfather seems to have taken a liking to Miyu-chan, too. So then, do I just not need to do anything?
The familiar rustle of clothes reaches her ears.
Am I not needed anymore?
The familiar repugnance at the scent from her brother wafts by her nose.
Why did I endure all those years up to this point?
The familiar resignation at the futility of it all washes over her being.
Why do I have to put up with trash like this?
-
“This... can’t be...”
Words could not express the thoughts racing across Miyu’s eyes as she stared at what was clearly a pit of writhing, squirming worms.
“What’s wrong?” Zouken asked. “As promised, I’m showing you what ‘Matou Sakura’ is all about.”
The mere sight of it made her want to gag, to say nothing of the smell and the horrible, squirming noises coming from that pit of horrors. Zouken hadn’t elaborated on what that pit had to do with Sakura, but it wasn’t difficult to hazard a guess.
“Sapphire-”
With every fiber of her being on high alert, Miyu gave the call for Sapphire to begin her transformation. However, just as she had begun to do so, a strong force pushed her forward, right over the flight of stairs.
And straight towards the writhing pit.
Fortunately, Sapphire had some level of sentience of her own, and a bright flash of light filled the space, causing the worms in the pit to squirm and make strange noises, as though in agony. When the light finally dissipated, Miyu was clad in her purple Magical Girl outfit, complete with the staff that afforded her the powers to defeat evil.
Even though a part of her was quite certain that the evil before her... was something she couldn’t defeat.
“Ah, how amusing,” Zouken chuckled. “Certainly some odd magecraft. You were one of those flying girls tagging along with the Emiya boy, then?”
Miyu reached out and pushed against a solidified block of air, just inches before the worm pit. Using that to steady herself, she broke her fall and jumped into the air, maintaining her position mid-air by standing on seemingly nothing. Unlike Illya, who could fly as though it was second nature, she needed these workarounds in order to emulate flight. And at times like these, that made a lot of difference.
In the second it had taken for her to break her fall, one of the worms in the pit and jumped up and brushed past her arm.
It had been but the briefest of contact. Having seen the monstrosity up close, Miyu was certain those things had fangs of their own. All things considered, simply having one of them briefly brush by her wrist was nothing much.
But she was certain that she would never, ever forget the slimy sensation it had left on her skin for as long as she lived.
Filled with overwhelming revulsion like she had never felt before, Miyu fired off blasts of magical energy at the pit just beneath her. As the pillar of light descended, it crashed into the ground below, sending up dust, debris and the smell of burnt flesh. In barely a second, the pit had been reduced to an almost empty crater, with a few stragglers crawling about helplessly.
Without a word, Miyu fired a few more blasts at where Zouken stood. The sounds of the blasts echoed throughout the chamber, and when the dust clouds finally subsided, the old man was nowhere to be seen. Despite that, his presence was everywhere.
“Let’s not overestimate ourselves here,” Zouken’s voice echoed throughout the revolting space. “You couldn’t even beat a Servant with those powers. Killing me is out of the question for you. Your body would be more useful in my hands.”
A strange chill seized Miyu’s chest, rendering her incapable of any response. Even though the old man had not done much, even just hearing his voice made her hairs stand on end.
Almost on reflex, she blasted a hole through the wall, kicked hard against the solidified air, and threw herself towards the hole with as much force as she could manage.
“Goodness,” Zouken chuckled, his voice echoing in the void. “Such an unruly child... But I guess that’s to be expected from her age. Trying in the face of futility to escape her fate is the privilege of young kids, I suppose.”
Just as he moved to follow after Miyu at his leisure, Zouken paused. He had a clear understanding of just where everyone was within his mansion, simply by their magical energy and a variety of other spells laid out across the place. Naturally, that included Miyu and Sakura, but their location wasn’t the issue.
“Sakura...?”
-
Miyu sped through the corridors, occasionally coughing as she caught her breath. Simply being in the presence of that... thing down there had made her body forget to even breathe, and her heartbeat skyrocketed.
“Sapphire, find Sakura-san!” she managed between gasps.
Must find Sakura-san, she thought, her mind a jumbled mess. Have to run. We have to leave right now!
The idea was sound. The optimism in a successful escape was understandable. But as with many things in life, fate had no intention of acceding to her wishes.
When she finally reached the room, Miyu found Sakura on the other side of the door. A short few meters away was all she needed to cross, to bring Sakura with her as they made their escape. A short distance she could’ve covered in less than a second, and should have done so since Zouken was hot on her heels.
But the sight of Sakura made her stop dead in her tracks.
Laying on the bed, Sakura’s hair was a mess, and her clothes were in the middle of being removed by the man above her. Despite the aggression from the man, Sakura herself simply lay there, as though she was nothing more than a doll.
That was when their eyes met.
For a brief moment, Miyu saw something familiar in her gaze. A lifeless, emotionless doll, incapable of asserting itself against the world around her. Simply waiting helplessly for something, for someone to come along.
In the next moment, something changed. Like a switch flipping on, Sakura’s gaze seemed to recognize Miyu, and a hint of the usual Sakura returned. Except what was in her eyes was not kindess, but fear.
“Don’t... look...”
Miyu didn’t manage to catch the words that managed to slip out of Sakura’s mouth, its volume no louder than a whisper. In the next moment, a burst of magical energy erupted from Sakura’s body, engulfing her and the man above her.
“W-what’s happening?!” Shinji stammered. “S-Sakura! Stop this! Stop this right no-”
The violent eruption of magical energy swallowed his screams. The shockwave knocked Miyu against the wall, slamming the wind from her lungs. Scrambling to her feet, Miyu opened her mouth, but before she could call out to Sakura, she gasped.
Amidst the maelstrom of swirling energy, Miyu thought she caught a glimpse of a very familiar shape.
A... Class Card...?
“Install.”
The burst of magical energy began to calm down, as a wholly new person appeared where Sakura had been. With white hair, dark red eyes and strange red marks on her skin, this new figure wore some sort of armor woven with black ribbons with a red edge. Beneath the armor was what seemed to be a dress made of the same ribbons, flowing around her ankles like snakes. The magical energy felt nothing alike, and the air around her was worlds apart from who she knew.
And yet, that face surely belonged to Matou Sakura.
“Sakura... san...?” Miyu asked.
“Don’t... look...”
As though in a trance, the woman with Sakura’s face muttered those words without looking at Miyu. As she said those words, one of the ribbons around her came to life and thrust itself into the floor between them, piercing into it and sending wooden splinters flying into the air.
She... missed? Miyu wondered, her entire body trembling as she willed herself to look at the figure before her. Her entire body was frozen in fear, but the fact that she missed at this distance allowed Miyu to come to her senses somewhat.
And what she saw there, for the briefest of moments, was the real Matou Sakura.
“Run,” she said, her eyes welling with tears.
In the next moment, the Matou mansion burst apart in an eruption of magical energy and shrieking metal.