Chapter Text
When Katsuki shot that huge blow against that All For One-Shigaraki blended form, he didn't expect to feel anything short of pain over his already broken body. Or to even be, may the old hag forgive him, alive after. So, it was a big surprise that upon his terrible landing, all he could feel was a headache— and it didn't feel that bad either.
And what was that wetness? Was it raining?
"Kacchan! Are you alright?"
Huh. When the hell did Izuku arrive?
"Kacchan!" Katsuki tried blinking. Everything around him felt weird. There was a sound of running water tickling his ears– his surrounding was too bright, he couldn't see shit, and his pants sure was wet. What the actual fuck? Was it blood?! No, idiot. No human could spill their blood to the point of having it sound like a river or some shit. Katsuki was probably concussed; god, even his own thoughts sounded awful inside his head.
"Kacchan!!" Okay, that was definitely weird. Why was Izuku's voice so fucking TINY?!! And what was with this chubby little hand– why was it almost shoved in front of his damn face?!
His eyes snapped open, like, really open this time. What welcomed him was momentary blindness because of how bright the sun shone down on him. After a few blinks, he found a kid, Deku, the very owner of the hand extended in front of him, staring at him with his big doe eyes.
The kid's concern bled through his very being— if Katsuki's feelings weren't flooded with shock, he would've already punched himself in the face for ever seeing this concern as a sign of mockery. Well, he was a kid, a very evil kid.
BUT whatever. Was he dead? Was this the afterlife? Why was Deku in front of him as a kid? Was this some kind of a shit punishment? Retribution for what he did back then? What the fuck was happening?!
Katsuki's head instantly got filled with questions which were answered just as quickly by his logical mind. It supplied as thus; it was impossible that whatever this was– was a dream. The water felt real, the warmth Deku had been radiating felt real, his headache was getting harsher each second, there were background hums of birds, and he could also hear his shitty child friends up the tree log making a fuss.
Everything was detailed: the small rocks on his feet, and even the freckles on the nerd's face. How could this be something his brain made up on the verge of dying? Impossible, unless this was the afterlife and afterlife meant dealing with shit you wanted to leave behind.
"Kacchan? Sh-Should I go call aunty?" the nerd said, appearing to be more and more timid as moments passed by. The nerd was obviously contemplating whether to retract his offered hand and go back to his turtle shell or not. Katsuki realized he never really changed, even with all the shit All Might had him go through. He was still the Deku he met when they were babies– he just gained a little confidence upon entering UA.
Fuck, was he really the cause of this child's low self-esteem? Did he really fuck up that bad?
Then, Katsuki remembered what exactly occurred right at this moment. This was that time when he fell from a log while on an adventure with his so-called hero sidekicks. Deku was once one of them– until this day, if this really was what he thought it was. He hoped the otherwise, because it'd be a cruel way of kicking him right where it hurt. Fuck afterlife.
Before Deku took his hand back, Katsuki did what he deemed necessary, or what he felt would cure his and Izuku's inner child, something that was long overdue, something he never thought, never considered he would do. Something he should've done.
He took the hand offered and stood up, silently observing what the nerd's reaction would be. It was nerve-wracking, but also calming in a confusing way. His feelings contradicted so much he didn't know what to think.
Is this right? Why? What was he doing this for? Would it change what he did back then? Would it erase the pain he inflicted on this child? Why the hell was he doing this?
Izuku's eyes lit up before he gave Katsuki a heartwarming smile. Katsuki wanted to give himself a punch, again.
Then, Katsuki realized his own hands were also tiny.
WHAT THE FUCK.
-
So, three things. First, he was back in his dumbass brat-self. Second, there was this nagging thought inside his head saying: all he experienced with Izuku from when they were kids up to the fucking war were all a product of a stupid dream of a child– or a nightmare, whatever the fuck it was– which was fucking ridiculous because he won't ever forget the pain of getting impaled even if the world burnt down in front of him. He got holes in his goddamn body barely missing his critical spots, too graphic to be a child's fucking dream. Third, he was almost a hundred percent sure he traveled back in time.
This wasn't the afterlife, there was nothing magical in what he was experiencing right now. There was no other explanation.
He was a fucking time traveler????
A shitty genius time traveling to his child self. Wow, what a way to relive the things he narrowly avoided and hated about himself.
He was still unsure of what triggered it. It couldn't be his own doing, explosions ain't anywhere near time manipulation, unless he blasted his soul back to the child version of himself and had everything turn back at the same pace— which was idiotic. Remind him to stay the fuck away from Dunce Face this time around.
One thing was for sure, though. He could change the tide, if this shit was permanent..
"Kacchan?"
Okay, he kinda forgot about that. Izuku Midoriya. Inheritor of One For All. All Might's heir. The chosen one. Cue every mighty name he could think of and it'd fit. And he was currently quirkless.
Quirkless.
Fuck. FUCK.
Don't get Katsuki wrong. He wasn't a quirkist fuck. He didn't really fucking care! But this kid did, for sure, as what he had witnessed all his life. He wasn't even sure if this Deku got to the doctor already- probably not since he was still hanging out with him without getting himself bullied every five seconds.
God, what the hell was happening to him? His head wasn't functioning normally, he was being so fucking slow. Was his brain affected by this time-traveling shit?
Wait.. Was it because his brain wasn't fully developed as a kid that it couldn't cope with how fast he normally thinks? If that was the case, well, at least it was still functioning.
"Kacchan?!"
Alright. Calm down, Katsuki. You can think of a way to deal with this. This is just a minor problem. Izuku doesn't look down on you. Izuku admires you. Go on, think of how you'd interact with him.
Izuku wasn't scared of him when they were kids. Katsuki wasn't a dick until he found out the other was quirkless— it started off as harmless teasing until it wasn't anymore. It was not that connected to quirkism. It was more of, how dare you think you're better than me? yes, you're better than me, quit shoving it in front of my damn face or I'll hurt you to make me feel better. It was a mess Katsuki made for himself. Inferiority complex? Name it.
It wouldn't be too hard to change how he once acted in front of this kid. He was changing for the better before getting sucked out of his own timeline. He was doing a lot better.
He wasn't the same nightmare of a kid.
After ten seconds of thinking, he finally came up with, "Yeah?" that had no bite, far from the kid-katsuki this kid-deku had been with. Katsuki squeezed his shirt to free it from the excess river water while waiting for the nerd's reply. They were chilling out on the riverside trying to dry themselves before heading home. The kids that went with them earlier already ran home after Katsuki told them off. It left him with the nerd, thus, the current situation.
Deku bit his lower lip before answering. It was obvious that he didn't expect he'd receive a decent reply from someone he knew to be so explosive. Katsuki somehow understood where the kid was coming from, even if the reaction was from single response.
"Kacchan scraped his knee.. the stones were really sharp.." Katsuki checked his knee, and there was, in fact, a huge wound on the right one. He couldn't remember if he really did get that before, maybe his memory was still a bit of a mess. It had been so long, more than thirteen years had passed since this incident. Anyway, he got way worse shit than this so he didn't mind it that much. What really bothered him the most at the moment was how small his limbs were.
"Don't worry 'bout it. I'll get the old hag clean it later."
The kid beside him frowned like he heard the most insulting thing he could hear out of Katsuki's mouth. "Kacchan, aunty isn't old! And what is.. a hag?" before he proceeded to count his dumb little fingers with his face scrunched up, a little snot was even trailing down his nose. Katsuki would've found it disgusting if it wasn't so funny.
"Heh. It's nothing. I don't care. Come on. Your mom might already be searching for you." Katsuki wore his shirt even if it was still slightly wet. His shoes were still dripping wet, so he simply hung them on a tree branch and called it a day. He'd go back for it when he had the chance, there was no way in hell he'd wear wet shoes.
Now that he was convinced he traveled back, his first agenda was to get Deku the fuck out of this shitty forest and get him back to his mom. He'd think of actual plans later once he was not feeling like he was about to keel over. Deku should understand the assignment, after all, the nerd was never stupid— unless it was about keeping himself from kicking the bucket.
"Okay Kacchan, let's go!"
The trip out of the forest wasn't eventful, but fuck did it take a while. Katsuki already forgot the way, or he remembered, but his mind couldn't process it. Everywhere he looked at felt familiar so he made several wrong turns. What's more embarrassing (and unacceptable) was the kid Deku had to correct him and show him the way. Can you believe that? If it was the kid him, he would've already done something hurtful—
Ugh. All this thinking was making his head throb.
The good thing was, they made it out without losing a limb, so it was still a win, thank you very much. Deku was afraid to leave him alone because of the wound, but the snarl still worked, so that was that.
What he had to deal with next was his mom. He knows it will suck big time.
He was greeted with angry eyes the moment he stepped inside the gate of his home.
"Katsuki! Where the fu—" his mom's words immediately got cut off by his dad who was fast approaching.
"Language, Mitsuki. You're dealing with a kid." The gentleness of his voice was contrary to the old hag's. The old man might've thought putting a hand on her shoulder would help, but the she simply brushed it off.
"I don't fucking care, Masaru! This kid can't expect shit after he pulled something like that! He's been gone the whole day!"
Katsuki remembered having to deal with this before, after the river incident. Back then, he felt wronged– of course he would, he was a kid who wanted things to go the way how he wanted them to. Yes, his mom was still insufferable as she always had been, but all the shit he went through was enough to make a crack in his extreme walls.
Because what if he truly died? What would happen to his parents? He was all they had– he was their only son.
The first time Katsuki almost lost his life, taken hostage by that nasty sludge, he completely forgot someone was waiting for him back home. He was too angry to care, too insensitive, too him, that when the old hag yelled at him, on the brink of tears, "I told you to go straight home after your fucking classes, Katsuki! What if All Might wasn't there?!" with his old man looking at him with an expression he saw for the first time his whole life, Katsuki told them to, and he quotes, "Suck it up!" before he went rushing to his room, slamming it as if he payed for it.
The second time was.. well, he didn't know how to describe it. He was held captive for two days and three nights by the league. The night he was rescued and taken home, he was overloaded with emotions and doubts, and he was also occupied by what he realized with Deku's power. He was expecting to get yelled at, but his mom just stared at him the whole night, gave him the space he wanted but also ensured he never left her line of sight. His dad seemed to want to talk to him, but he refrained from doing so. They let him rest, they let him crawl back to his own damn feet, they let him try to sort his own emotions— because they knew how he hated it when they care.
The third time was kept hidden from his parents—
"Katsuki?"
Apparently, his mom stopped yelling when he stared into space, his head filled with shits he didn't want to think about in the first place. Why was he getting emotional upon seeing his parents? He was known for his emotional constipation, what the fuck. So what if he died? He'd no longer be present to see what his parents' reaction would be. He wouldn't be there anymore. He'd be dead. And he was sure it'd be just fine, people move on.
But it still haunted him, no matter how much he tried to push the thoughts away, or how much he thought it'd be fine. It was frightening.
"Kats. Let's get the wound clean, alright?" he gave a simple nod to his dad before he let them guide him inside their home.
The third time he almost died was on a remote island with Izuku. Izuku took a lot more damage than he did, it was funny. At that time, he was slowly getting used to whatever the fuck they have to go through as upcoming heroes.
He was accepting what he was risking to win. He was becoming aware of his own mortality. He could die. He could die trying to win against those damned villains. He could ruin himself in the name of heroism.
And he was sixteen.
The more he thought about it, the more fucked it appeared.
But it was what he wanted, it called for him. He was meant to be a hero– he was meant to win so he could save
Fuck this.
His mom was already dressing his wounds the moment he snapped out of his thoughts. She was miraculously silent, just like how he was. His dad was probably weirded out– he was, he was looking at them as if expecting them to blow any minute now, but each second it took with neither him nor his mom shouting adds a wrinkle on his forehead. Typical thing in the Bakugou household.
It was done after his mom finished treating his wound. She turned to him and looked at him sharply.
"Who are you?"
It was Katsuki's turn to frown.
"What?"
Mitsuki hissed. "I know every mannerism my child does when he's getting his wound treated, you monster. And he's supposed to be bitching me while at it! Where did you hide my son?!"
Alright, one thing, your son grew out of the mannerisms, and he wasn't bitching you out because he was fucking thinking!
Not like he could say he was seventeen inside, fuck.
A fuse inside him was flipped on, "I fell out a log twice your height, you hag! Don't expect me to be all bitchy when my head feels like fucking bursting!" Okay, that sounded really wrong with this tiny-ass voice. Who cares? His dad, of course. He didn't get mad, but was that relief? Oh my fucking god, this family was weird as fuck.
Why was he realizing this just now?!
"Who said you could say every curse word your little brain could come up with?!"
"I'M NOT, YOU SAID IT TOO!"
"BECAUSE I'M AN ADULT, BRAT!" His mom was going for a head slap but stopped midway. "What did you say again? YOU FELL OFF A LOG TWICE MY HEIGHT?!"
Katsuki winced. "Yeah, if you're not deaf, you probably heard that."
"You—" his mom's rage was outdone by his dad's worry.
"Where else does it hurt, Kats? Did you hit your head? Is that where you got your wound?"
At least his dad was still kinda sane.
-
"Kacchan, I'm.. I'm not gonna be your worthless punching bag Deku forever! I'm the Deku who always does his best!"
The scene shifted to a fight. A fight Katsuki witnessed firsthand.
Deku kept Shigaraki Tomura up in the air to keep him from dusting everyone on the ground. Aizawa sensei was already down. No one can stop the villain from killing them all. No one but Deku.
"Izuku!" He heard his own voice yelling. Izuku? Wasn't this a bit earlier from when he finally had the guts to call the nerd's name?
Endeavor was rushing, Todoroki and Katsuki acted as his fuel to get him to where the fight was. One wrong move would be enough for shit to go full 180. He had to give this his all.
His last explosion had the current number one reaching Shigaraki and burning him down. They were told to get out of there, but he stayed.
Time seemed to slow down, or speed up, god, this was confusing. Getting it out of his system was impossible now that it was being hyped up by his adrenaline rush. He swore he could hear something thumping, getting louder each millisecond-
And there it happened, his body simply moving on its own. Before he was even aware of it, he was already fucking impaled by spikes meant to reach a certain idiot, spikes meant for stealing quirks, by the way.
He coughed out blood. He could feel himself drowning. He couldn't say anything. What was happening? He was supposed to be saying something right now.
"KACCHAN!"
He fell from the sky. No one was fast enough to reach him this time. No Todoroki to catch him. Deku was a second late.
--
Katsuki jolted, waking up drenched in sweat. He just had a nightmare about dying. He died. He was supposed to live that time. He fell. He hit the ground. There was blood everywhere. It was definitely fatal. And Deku's face. God forgive, fuck. Deku's terrified eyes– terrified but angry, unforgiving eyes, as if someone snatched his life before him. The blackwhip didn't reach him in time. His voice, broken. It was death. Definitely death.
Why did it feel so real?
"Katsuki?!"
Fat tears were rolling down his cheeks, he was choking on his own breath.
He was a kid.
His mom rushed to his side, scooping his tiny body to place him on top of her lap, embracing him tightly
He is a kid.
He allowed himself to be.
He didn't know how much he needed that hug until he received it. His mom was caressing his back so light it might not have been there at all. He was tiny. His mom could crush him right then and there. But it felt good. And painful? It was confusing. He was back to his four years old self, and the irony that he hated being treated like a kid yet here he was acting like one, made this situation a little bit better, or worse.
He was overloaded with fear, the realization of what he was facing hit him like bricks, that what filled his head next was how much he wanted to go back– because this was shit, he was back to zero, he never wanted that. He wanted what he had back. He wanted the world who painted him unhero-like. This is cheating. This isn't how he planned to be number one. Please, take him back.
But the hug around him told him otherwise. It was warm, fulfilling, and kinda inexperienced, but it was something he didn't let his mom do before, it was understandable.
What should he do? What could he do? Was he supposed to change anything at all? Was he supposed to act the same? What if Deku didn't get his quirk because of his changes? What would happen to them? To the future? To the war? What about half 'n half? His brother? What about All Might? Does he really have to go fight All For One? What can he change? What should he not change? What if this ended up with more people dying?
"Shh, it's alright. Mom's here."
For now, he set the thoughts aside and relished his mother's hug. Fuck. Let him have something to himself just this once.
"You stink, hag."
--