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The One Where Hypno Becomes A Tired Gay Uncle

Summary:

Unable to retreat home, the turtles are chased by the foot clan into Hypno's area. The magician takes one look at these scared, tired, and injured teenagers and decides to help them

 

TCEST DNI

Notes:

This is a bit of a crack fic where its only serious in the beginning

I didn't really know where I was going with this, just that there was a serious lack of Hypno interacting with the turtles on ao3. Tumblr has also informed me this fandom is starved for Gay Uncle Hypno content

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

…shit

Raph runs blindly in the night. Vision blurred. His bad-eye was making this very difficult.

Everything went wrong on their latest mission.

His breathing was ragged, his stamina and strength slowly depleting. The only things keeping him going are the adrenaline and knowledge his brothers are relying on him.

Two of his brothers clung to his shell and shoulders, the third clutched tightly in his arms. 

They had been fighting off the Foot Clan again– why hadn't they disbanded yet??? Both Shredder and The Kraang have been defeated! What was the clan's remaining purpose!? The turtles had been holding their own pretty well until the abandoned warehouse had started caving in on them. Those cheating scoundrels had set off bombs.

Mikey had strained himself using his new-founded mystic powers to hold some of the rubble at bay. Donnie and Raph had been ganged up on by paper ninjas in the chaos. And Leo? Their blue brother had gotten pinned under some of the debris. The leader of the Mad Dogz wasn't majorly injured, but by the way his unconscious body trembled in Raph's arms– 

Once they were free from the building's crumbling walls, there wasn't enough time to assess injuries because more Foot Clan members began chasing them down. Unable to keep fighting, Raph took charge and ordered a retreat. He had scooped up his brothers and bolted.

He doesn't know how long they've been running. He doesn't know where they are. He doesn't even know if the clan stopped their chase. All he knows is that they aren't safe. If Leo were awake, they could've portaled home.

"Raph, please–" Donnie's grip on the spikey shell tightens. "We need to stop and recuperate."

"Can't. Not safe." He grunted out, he was breathing hard. His protective instincts were screaming, drowning out his rational thoughts.

"You're going to collapse at this rate! And if you go down, then we stand no chance at getting home!" Donnie's voice raises in frustration, masking how scared and worried he was.

A cold wind picks up, and the sound of distant thunder rumbles. Raph knew Donnie was right; Mind Raph reminds him that if they don't figure out how to get home, then they'll get stuck out in the storm. He starts slowing down, coming to a stop next to an alley. Staring down at Leo's unconscious form; his brother was still trembling. His skin is covered in angry red scrapes and cuts.

In his zoning out, Raph doesn't notice Donnie and Mikey sliding off his back until the youngest puts a shaky hand on his arm. "Come on, we've gotta hide," Mikey mumbles, guiding his brother into the alley. Donnie angrily stares down at his tech gauntlet, aggressively tapping it. He hisses at the broken screen and stomps in frustration. Taking a deep breath in and out, Donnie tries to calm himself.

"Great. Just wonder-fucking-full." Donnie sarcastically bites out. Raph was still breathing heavily, head spinning, but he adjusts Leo in his arms and places a hand on Donnie's shoulder. Mikey leans against the brick wall and slides to the ground, arms shaking badly. Faint yellow cracks running up his arms. 

"Go sit with Mikey, and watch Leo. I'm gonna go get my bearings." Raph hands over the unconscious twin.

Donnie stares at him wide-eyed as he grabs Leo. "You can't be serious, right now! You need to sit and rest too!" 

"I'm fine. Just a lil tired, but that's nothing. Raph's got more than enough energy to keep going."

Donnie opens his mouth to argue back, but Mikey cuts him off; "please don't leave, Raph. We've gotta stick together."

Grimacing, Raph gives in to his brothers. He watches Donnie lean Leo against the wall between himself and Mikey. The slider's head falls onto Mikey's shoulder, letting out a soft groan. Eyes softening, Raph kneels down in front of his brothers. Another boom of thunder echoes across the sky. The storm has yet to reach them, but they needed a plan soon.



---

 

Hypno runs out the front door, swinging a broom angrily at the group of mutant silverfish. They had knocked over the bin and had been getting into the trash again. 

"Get! Get you nasty vermin!" Hypno shouts, whacking one of the pests and sending it scampering off. The rest follow its lead, all running into the nearby alley. He gives chase only to make sure they leave. "And stay out!" He shouts into the darkened alley. He turns to go back inside, but freezes the second his eyes catch movement in the shadows. It was early morning, the sun had not yet risen, so there shouldn't be anybody out at this hour. Three pairs of white eyes stare back. 

His fingers twitch, readying to call his razor rings if need be. He steps further into the alley, and as his eyes adjust to the shadows, he recognizes the mutant turtles he's fought against. The ones Warren was sometimes obsessed with. He only counts three though, but before he can get a better look, the large one hisses. Red stands in front of his brothers, snarling and glaring. 

Recognizing the potential danger, Hypno takes a step back, drops his broom, and holds his hands up as a sign of peace. "I'm not here to fight," he states. "I'll leave if you want, but by the state you're in, it looks like you all need some help." 

The purple one peeks out from behind Red, glaring suspiciously. "You help us? Sarcastic laugh! You think we'd ever trust a villain?"

"Maybe we can ask him for directions?" Says a quiet voice hidden from view.

"Look," Hypno frowns. "I understand that I'm not the most trustworthy, but Warren and I have retired from major crime! We're just small-time thieves now who steal to make a living."

The red one looks dead on his feet, wobbling slightly. He falls towards the wall, his shoulder landing roughly into the brick to stay upright. Hypno startles and steps forward to help, only to get hissed at again. The purple one points his bō at him. "Don't get any closer." He stops, and finally gets a view of the last two turtles. Orange was curled protectively around the blue one who appeared to be unconscious.

In the past, these four could hold their own and were often a threat to him, but now all Hypno could see was a group of scared children. 

Before any of them could do anything else, the sound of many footsteps can be heard closing in. Purple and Red look up panicked as the orange one shuts his eyes and tightens his grip on the blue one. Red tries to push himself upright again, but this time his legs collapse under him. "RAPH-" the purple one shouts as he lunges to slow his brother's descent to the ground. "I told you that you pushed yourself too hard!"

"No, I'm– I'm okay…" Red breathes out.

When a group of masked people show up, bearing the symbol of The Foot, Hypno steps in front of the turtles. They may have been foes in the past, but right now they were defenseless teens. It wouldn't be a very fair fight. "Oi, Foot Freaks!" Hypno calls out. Having got their attention, he inhales deeply, and lets out a loud:

" MEZMER-ROO "

"Go home and forget you ever came here." Hypno orders the mind-controlled Foot Clan. Without hesitation, they stalk away like zombies. Breathing a sigh of relief, he turns back to face the turtles. The purple one is staring at him, brow furrowed. The wind begins to pick up, howling outside the alley. Glancing up at the sky, a drop of water hits his snout; it would seem the storm was upon them. "Do you want to come inside?" He gives an awkward smile.

Purple looks back at his brothers before turning to face Hypno once more. "Fine." He narrows his eyes. "But any funny business and I'll end you."

"You have my word."

"Good. Help my brother up, would you? Big oaf seems to have overdone it again." Red seems to give the purple one a betrayed look. Purple brushes him off and whispers something to him. "C'mon, Mikey. Help me carry Nardo."

Hypno walks over to Red and offers a hand. The snapper seems to hesitate before taking it. Upon standing up, he starts tipping dangerously, so Hypno wraps an arm around the turtle. Looking back, he sees Purple and Orange standing, each with an arm around their blue brother. "We'll take the elevator up." Hypno doesn't think the turtles could go up three flights of stairs in this state.

Through the entrance and a minute wait in the elevator later, the group enters Hypno and Warren's apartment. It's a small place, but anything bigger would be impossible to rent. Still, it was home. Hypno helps Red to sit on the couch, watching the other two do the same with their unconscious brother. Purple remains standing, clearly untrusting– for good reason.

The orange turtle, however, is strange to Hypno. The smallest brother plops onto the ground cross-legged and gives him a kind smile. "Thanks for helping us out, Hypno! Nice place you got. It's real cozy."

Nodding politely, Hypno awkwardly shuffles from foot to foot. "Would you lot, uh, like some tea? You're going to be here awhile, by the sound of the storm outside." As if on cue, the groaning thunder rumbles as rain begins to pound against the windows.

"Uh, sure." Red answers, equally as awkward. He wraps an arm around Blue, tucking the slider against his side.

"I'll be right back, then. Hang tight."

 

---

 

Watching Hypno hurry into an adjacent room, the conscious turtles began to converse under their breaths. Quiet as to not draw the attention of their unexpected host.

"You should relax, D. You'll end up like Raph if you don't take a rest." Mikey whispers, concerned.

"Hey–" the snapper protests weakly.

Donnie's eyebrows furrow and he narrows his eyes. Glancing quickly at the direction the hippo magician went. "I can't. I'm the only fighter we have right now. Raph's too exhausted to even move, Nardo's unconscious, and your arms are still shaking from over-exerting your abilities! AND I can't call for backup without fixing my gauntlet."

"You don't need to fight right now." Mikey hisses back. "If Hypno was a threat, then he'd have already attacked us. Instead, he sent the foot clan away and invited us into his home to avoid the storm!"

"Precisely! We're on his turf now. This is probably a trap, Michael!"

Sneering, Mikey jumps to his feet to point a finger at Donnie, his whole arm shaking even more. "Stop being so paranoid, Donnie!"

" Cut it out! " Raph growls lowly, shutting both his brothers up. His big-brother voice is still as effective as ever. "You're both going to sit down and take it easy. Mikey, we need to still be vigilant since we do not know Hypno's motivations. Donnie, your hypocritical butt looks about ready to collapse. We will deal with what comes together.

Huffing, both younger turtles take a seat; Mikey back on the floor, and Donnie on the couch's arm.

It was then that Leo started to gain consciousness, face scrunching into a pained look as he groaned. Blinking his eyes open, he looks around and struggles to register his surroundings.

"Did we win..?"

Before anyone could answer Leo's question, Hypno comes stumbling out with a kettle and five mugs. "I made chamomile because it's the only tea we have right now. Warren and I've been meaning to go shopping for more groceries." As he places everything on the coffee table and begins to pour the tea, he accidentally makes eye-contact with Leo and pauses, before saying: "Ah, good to see you back." Leo blankly stares back, brain trying to catch up. 

Raph watches Leo, wondering how his brother will react to this situation. Ready to restrain the slider if necessary. So. When Leon opens his mouth, he says the last thing any of them expected; "How's your roomie, slash magical assistant, slash boyfriend?"

Hypno's face reddens, he looks away all flustered. Mikey, connecting the dots, nearly starts vibrating in excitement. Donnie lets out an uninterested hum, and Raph just stares at Leo slack-jawed. 

"Ooo chamomile! Give me a cup, my head's killing me." Leo sits up, wiggling out of Raph's hold to carefully grab a mug. Relaxing into the warm liquid.

"How'd you hear bout that?" Hypno asks once he calms down, pouring the rest of the tea.

The rest of his brothers grab their own cups, Donnie being the last due to his suspicion. Leo takes a sip; "April follows your socials. You two really made an impression on our sister." The slider chuckles, a shit-eating grin growing on his face. Raph sighs in advance. "You really answered that age old question 'would you love me if I was a worm.' Where is he, anyways?"

"Really, Leo? That's what you're concerned about? Donnie bickers with his twin. "Not the fact you got knocked out in battle and woke up in a villain's apartment?"

The slider shrugs, nursing the hot drink in his grasp.

"Warren's out. He's been hunting for newsworthy stories for his new podcast." 

Leo lets out a half-intrigued hum. Leaning back into Raph and shutting his eyes for a moment. He was drained.

"Since you're an elder-gay," Donnie pipes up, no hostility present in his tone this time. "Maybe you can help my twin out. He's got an atrocious taste in men." Leo squawks indignantly, grabbing Donnie and pulling his twin backwards onto the couch. Luckily the tea was finished, so no mess was made. Raph sighs and holds his face in his hands. Mikey laughs, grabbing any loose mugs and putting them a safe distance away.

Hypno just watches, and part of him wonders how he could've ever felt ill-will towards these children. Maybe there was a reason why that Draxum guy could be seen hanging around the family, and if a man like that could warm up to the turtles well… maybe Warren and him could stand to get to know them. 

Notes:

I wasn't really sure how to end this oop