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It takes a week or two for Zhao Yunlan to notice, but once he does it’s hard to ignore – this younger Shen Wei feels awkward around him.
It is maybe not the most surprising thing, really, considering the fact that for Shen Wei they’ve known each other for a very short time, but Zhao Yunlan can pinpoint the exact moment where his eager, shy smiles change into sad, conflicted ones.
It is right after the first skirmish with the rebels, the one that ends up with Zhao Yunlan, no, general Kunlun, stabbed by something that looks and feels like an icicle. It’s not even a deep wound, but it hit a bit too close to the kidney, so Shen Wei insists on healing him. Yunlan allows himself to be bullied onto the cot and enjoys Shen Wei’s slightly cold hands on his skin, cheekily leaning into the touch, making Shen Wei blush in the process.
Shen Wei berates him for being careless and he sounds so much like the older Shen Wei that Zhao Yunlan feels himself relax. That's why he doesn’t notice the moment when Shen Wei’s hands go perfectly still, his fingers pressing gently on Yunlan’s abdomen.
The sudden silence finally gets to Yunlan however, and he cranes his neck to look back at Shen Wei.
“Everything alright?”
Shen Wei seems to not have heard him, his eyes remain glued to Zhao Yunlan’s stomach. A chill of worry dispels all the mirth.
“Shen Wei?” That gets the young warrior’s attention – he jerks a bit and looks at Yunlan with his wide, doe eyes that convey utter surprise.
“Everything is fine,” It seems that Shen Wei wasn’t very good at lying to begin with, because Zhao Yunlan is not convinced in the slightest.
“You don’t look fine. Is there something wrong with the wound?” It doesn’t feel like there is, but he’s seen concern on Shen Wei’s face way too often not to recognize it.
“No, no. You are fine.” And with that, Shen Wei gets up and moves towards the exit of the medical tent, leaving Zhao Yunlan utterly lost.
He’s never seen Shen Wei upset about his good health.
*
Now, after a week, Zhao Yunlan would have to be blind not to notice the furtive glances Shen Wei sends him, or the fact that he clearly avoids talking to Yunlan as much as possible. It’s not like he doesn’t like him anymore, that much is clear – no one looks at a person they don’t like with such unrestrained longing, but whenever Zhao Yunlan tries to start a conversation, Shen Wei comes up with an excuse and leaves.
They are in the middle of a military camp, there is always something to do and prepare, so Zhao Yunlan allows Shen Wei the benefit of doubt and doesn’t call him out on this obvious avoidance, but another week begins and the reverred Heipaoshi begins to look downright miserable.
So Zhao Yunlan decides to corner him at the cliff, during the night watch – he comes over bearing food as gift and the moment Shen Wei sees him, he brightens up, his happiness absolutely unguarded. And then, almost as if catching himself at it, his expression falls. He warily watches Zhao Yunlan’s approach from the shadow of his mask, and Yunlan is really confused now. Has he done something to Shen Wei?
“You are a hard man to get a hold of, Shen Wei,” he says lightly, sitting down next to the young man.
It might be a bit of a underhanded tactic - Zhao Yunlan is taking full advantage of Shen Wei's devotion to duty, cornering him where he is sure that the other cannot give him a slip. Night watch was too crucial to let emotional turmoil affect it.
As predicted, Shen Wei doesn't leave, just watches Yunlan warily.
"I have many duties," he replies, and though the tone is the same brand of solemn as the older Heipaoshi's, there is something young and vulnerable about it.
"Of course you do, you never rest." It isn't truly an accusation, more of an observation really, but Shen Wei still ducks his head. It is rather weird to look at him hiding behind the mask again, after all that progress they have made.
Zhao Yunlan decides to go with the direct approach.
"Have I offended you in some way?" Shen Wei lifts his head up so quickly that Yunlan almost drops their bowls in surprise.
"No! Of course not." It sounds sincere, so maybe it truly isn't the case of great general Kunlun disrespecting Heipaoshi with his lack of knowledge of Dixing culture, as he had come to suspect.
Zhao Yunlan hands Shen Wei a bowl before they both get distracted again, and they begin to eat in companionable silence, watching the stars above them. At least that is a good change - before, Shen Wei would protest, claim that he was not hungry, that maybe some other people at the camp needed the food more, but after a few meetings he had finally caved in and started to accept the food with a small, pleased smile on his face. The other change was the mask, but that he still hasn't taken off today. Why is Shen Wei hiding from him again?
As if sensing Zhao Yunlan's train of thought, Shen Wei puts his bowl down and finally takes off his mask, facing Zhao Yunlan with hesitation painted on his beautiful features.
"You look like you want to ask me something," Zhao Yunlan points out gently, and Shen Wei's grip on the mask he is still holding in his hand tightens.
For a moment, nothing happens, and it takes a lot out of Yunlan not to prod the love of his life with questions, as he is used to do. But a younger, more open Shen Wei is bound to tell him on his own, once he finds the right words, that Yunlan is sure of.
And true to his prediction, a new determination appears in Shen Wei's face. He looks straight into Yunlan's eyes and asks:
"Do you miss them?"
It is so out of the left field that for a moment, he just stares at the young general in silence. He has never mentioned anyone from the SID to Shen Wei, too afraid of messing up the timeline, spoilers and all that other stuff movies about time travel warn about.
"Who?" he asks cautiously, watching the small frown his reply causes.
"Your... Family. The people you left in your land." Was he that obvious? Zhao Yunlan doesn't regret coming here, to the past, and meeting both Da Qing and Shen Wei as youngsters, being a part of their lives before he's even born (and that's a nice, poetic and sappy thought the examine later, once he gets back to his own time), but he sometimes cannot help but think about his team too. About Lin Jing and Zhu Hong, about poor Xiao Guo bullied and protected by Lao Chu, or about their lovely ghost couple... He misses them a bit, he supposes, surprising himself with this sentiment.
He looks back into Shen Wei's eyes and sees uncertainty there. Is Shen Wei afraid that general Kunlun doesn't want to be here with him, that he wants to come back to his people? That just won't do.
"I miss them a bit. But the most important person I want to spend time with is here, not eating the rations I've brought him." Instead of the expected exasperation, what Zhao Yunlan gets in reaction to his words is Shen Wei's confusion. Which is weird, it's not like he goes around sighing wistfully and writing poems to the companions he had lost. He misses his Shen Wei, of course, because the older Shen Wei must be worried sick about him, but Shen Wei is here with Yunlan, even if their shared memories are not.
So even though there are moments when Yunlan wants to wake up to see his own flat and feel Shen Wei's arms curl around him, with a soft whisper in his ear telling him to go back to sleep, to rest, he is not miserable at the separation.
So why is Shen Wei so disinclined to believe him?
"I mean it, Xiao Wei," the term of endearment slips unplanned, but it makes Shen Wei blush and smile gently, and so Zhao Yunlan continues,"no matter how much I might miss my people, I am happy to be here. With you."
The blinding, relieved smile Shen Wei gives him still has some lingering hesitation about it, but it is better than the dejection Shen Wei has been exhibiting this whole evening.
With that out of the way, they resume their meal and if Shen Wei still sneaks looks at Zhao Yunlan, well - it's not like he minds, really. As long as the looks are not marred with misery, Zhao Yunlan is perfectly happy to be looked at by his Xiao Wei until the end of his days.
*
The talk lulls Zhao Yunlan into a false sense of security. Shen Wei's strange behaviour is easily explained by the fear of abandonment and after they got that cleared up, he predicts that they would go back to how they used to be.
Things get much weirder instead.
It is nothing too noticeable at first - Shen Wei bringing him meals, additional blankets- that is something Zhao Yunlan is used to, no matter how spoiled that makes him sound. Sure, with the war on and with their time separated between councils and raids, it is a bit odd to get meals delivered so often, but for the first few days Yunlan just assumes it is Shen Wei's way of making amends for giving him a cold shoulder before.
But it doesn't lessen with time, no - it gets worse.
Well, maybe not worse, because being doted on by Shen Wei is one of Zhao Yunlan's favourite past-times, but the intensity of the young general's care grows with each passing day. It's a wonder he doesn't protest whenever general Kunlun is sent on another mission, though he sticks awfully close to him all the time, protecting him from all the dangers the forests have to offer - branches, small animals, and occasional Dixingren rebels.
One evening, he even comes to Kunlun and Da Qing's night watch - after Zhao Yunlan had very decisively sent him to get some sleep - to bring Yunlan some herbal tea that is certainly not commonly found and easily obtained.
"Thank you," he says, his tone a bit questioning, but he accepts the tea nonetheless. Shen Wei watches him with a satisfaction and he looks so happy that Zhao Yunlan is determined to drink the concoction, enjoy it , and even be sufficiently grateful about it.
He takes a sip. It's not bad, just smells strange. Next to him, Da Qing watches him with wide eyes, his tail swishing nervously.
"Really?" The cat asks, and Shen Wei nods minutely.
Zhao Yunlan realises that there might be some hidden meaning behind the tea, but Shen Wei looked so eager handing it to him that he keeps on drinking.
The strange conversation between his love and his cat goes on:
"Is that even possible?" Da Qing asks, his glowy eyes trained on Zhao Yunlan.
"I am certain," Shen Wei replies, with a hint of sadness, but gathers himself quickly:"I want to..." he trails off, his eyes darting to Zhao Yunlan as well, as if waiting for him to protest.
The tea is not that bad, so Yunlan just nods, trying to make sense of what exactly they are talking about here, without making it obvious that he has no freaking idea. He should have brushed up on his knowledge of the customs of Dixing and Yashou traditions, but now is really not the time to go around and ask, when general Kunlun is supposed to know these things already. Who knows what this tea means - is Shen Wei binding them in holy matrimony? Is Yunlan going to change into a dragon as a test? Maybe he shouldn't have drunk that tea after all, older Shen Wei would be so disappointed if he knew that Yunlan was going around accepting suspicious drinks from people... Then again, Shen Wei already knows, he is the suspicious person in question. Once Zhao Yunlan returns he is going to have so many questions...
"I want to protect them," Shen Wei announces forcefully, his gaze challenging. Da Qing's tail swishes a bit more violently.
"You are a bit young, aren't you? Are you even able to?" The cat sounds a bit hypocritical shaming anyone for their young age when he is a kitten himself, so Zhao Yunlan sits and watches the exchange with growing amusement. It's almost like a fight between a suitor and a reluctant father-in-law, except fought by practically teenagers, over a guy who is nearing thirty. He's going to laugh at both Da Qing and Shen Wei about this, upon his return.
"I will do all I can." There is a note of finality here that makes Da Qing pause his menacing fidgeting. It seems that in this battle of wills, Shen Wei emerges victorious. The cat gets up and shoots Zhao Yunlan a dark look.
"I hope you know what you are doing. Should have told me," he says, with reproach and disappears into the night.
Zhao Yunlan blinks in confusion.
Shen Wei uses his momentary distraction to take Da Qing's place next to him and gently removes the cup from Zhao Yunlan's hands.
"How are you feeling?" He sounds so eager, and is so beautiful in his concern that Zhao Yunlan allows himself to be distracted from the mystery.
"Now that you are here? Better than ever," he replies softly and watches happiness bloom on Shen Wei's face.
*
"You can't drink that!" Shen Wei exclaims, snatching the bottle away from Zhao Yunlan's hand. It is a bit unfair because this time, the wine turned out much better than his first attempt at introducing alcohol to the Alliance, and he really wanted to enjoy it to the fullest. The day has been peaceful so far and there is a courtship party of two young crows going on, so Zhao Yunlan doesn't see a good reason why he shouldn't partake in a bit of fun.
Shen Wei very clearly sees all the reasons. He makes the bottle disappear with some unspecified power of his, and locks eyes with Zhao Yunlan.
"How can you be so irresponsible!" Shen Wei continues, grabbing Zhao Yunlan's elbow and dragging him away from the party and into the open air. This is the first time this young Shen Wei is so forceful with him, his worry underlined with care, and it's such a nice echo of his older, mature Shen Wei going ballistic at Yunlan's disregard for his own health that Zhao Yunlan cannot stop a smile forming on his face.
Shen Wei sees it and his expression turns thunderous.
"Is it funny to you? To endanger yourself and the child?" Zhao Yunlan's thoughts come to a sudden halt.
"The child?"
Shen Wei releases his arm and gives him a desperate, worried look.
"I know it's not my place. But you... I thought you accepted me as your companion, and I know I am not this child's parent, but I would like to..." Shen Wei trails off, suddenly unsure. That makes two of them because Zhao Yunlan is also very unsure. "...I promised Da Qing that I will protect both of you and you agreed. You said you wanted me here, with you so..." All fight leaves him and he just stands there in the dark, looking at Yunlan in silent plea.
Zhao Yunlan's brain thankfully comes back online. It struggles a bit because what is this even , but the connections start to form. The food, the conversation with Da Qing... the healing.
"Xiao Wei. You felt something when you healed me all those weeks ago, didn't you?" he starts. Shen Wei's eyes snap to him in an instant.
"Yes. Your energy is entwined with some small amounts of dark energy - the child will most probably have Dixing powers and..." It is a bit too much for Zhao Yunlan and even though he knows he shouldn't, he starts laughing loudly, almost collapsing to the ground with the force of it.
Shen Wei watches him worriedly, probably thinking his Kunlun is losing his mind over the reality of having a dark powered kid - this thought sobers Yunlan up almost instantly.
He finally gets his amusement under control and comes closer to Shen Wei, to put his arms around him.
Still confused, Shen Wei leans into the touch.
"I am a man, Xiao Wei," Zhao Yunlan says, his voice shaky with restrained laughter." I appreciate you stepping up as a co-parent to my blob of dark energy, but it is literally just that, a bit of dark energy in me," he explains, as vaguely as he can.
In his arms, Shen Wei stills.
"I was injured badly some time ago, and I was healed with the help of dark energy. It must've remained in me after. That's what you've sensed." The explanation doesn't make it easier not to laugh. He wonders if older Shen Wei still remembers how mortified he had been at that moment: his young, eager mind in a state of silent, embarrassed shock.
"I am touched by the concern, if it was possible I'm sure you would have made a wonderful step-father," Zhao Yunlan cannot help to add, and Shen Wei grows red. Well, now when Yunlan thinks about it, technically the dark energy is Shen Wei's so he wouldn't even be a 'step' father, and then very decidedly nips that train of thought in the bud - that way lies madness.
"You came from a different land, one I know nothing about," Xiao Wei says weakly in explanation, and laughter bubbles out of Zhao Yunlan's mouth.
Shen Wei grows progressively redder.
"We have so much to explain to Da Qing," Zhao Yunlan muses, tightening the embrace. Shen Wei's face is practically burning, but thankfully no one can see them now, with everyone too busy celebrating, so Zhao Yunlan allows them to just stay like this, entwined together in darkness.
In the future, he plans on never letting Shen Wei live it down.
For now, he holds onto the young general in his arms, feeling a wave of tenderness overtake him at the thought that Xiao Wei was ready to step up and just what... start a family with him? Unreal. To have someone ready to tie their life to his, to have someone who is so determined to stay - Zhao Yunlan has never felt that this could be possible. And yet here Shen Wei is.
He wants to promise him forever. He's wanted that for a long time but to have a so clear proof that Shen Wei wants that from him too, it is almost too good to be true.
There is separation before them, he knows that. Shen Wei has seen him at the DCU and recognized him instantly, so Kunlun is going to leave him, it's inevitable, Zhao Yunlan knows.
But they will have forever after he returns.
BONUS
"What made you choose this field?" Cheng Xinyan asks, and Shen Wei fights off the wave of embarrassment that threatens to overtake him at the mere thought. He has many wonderful, tender memories of Kunlun, he remembers it all in great detail: the way Kunlun looked, the way he smiled, the way he kissed... But he also remembers the sound of his delighted laughter, as he hugged Shen Wei close to his chest and poked good-natured fun at Shen Wei's absolutely serious intention of... just thinking about it makes him want to run.
"I've made a mistake I am not willing to make again," Shen Wei replies darkly and closes his notebook with more force than strictly necessary.
Cheng Xinyan's eyebrows travel up in surprise.
"Did you kill someone?" she asks in a hushed whisper, more elated than horrified.
Honestly, that would be more preferable as to what had actually happened, so Shen Wei just gives her a pleasant smile and walks away.
"Wait! Did you get your girlfriend pregnant, or something?" Cheng Xinyan exclaims after him.
With his ears burning, Shen Wei walks away faster.