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Deep Cut was known to be the lovable and chaotic trio who adored to make music and cheer people up. However, what most people didn't know was the fact that their true passion was being bandits. No matter how big or small, Deep Cut would steal it. In a way, it made them have kleptomaniac tendencies but it did not matter to them since most of the money they obtained would be given back to the ones who needed it the most.... with a small cut of the loot of course.
The day they learned their new boss and her assistant lady were the squid sisters, an idea was presented.
"DUDE imagine how rich they are! We could probably buy everyone in Splatsville one of those headless pet shrimp!" Frye said excitedly, bobbing her restless body.
"What are the people in need going to do with those!? Fry them?" Shiver said while moving her fan absent-mindedly.
Big Man raised his fin "Ay- (actually-)" Shiver put her fan in front of his mouth "-don't finish that thought Big Brain"
Frye chuckled at the two, she adored these dorks and their antics. "All I'm saying is that we have an opportunity in our hands!" she did a dramatic pose and continued rambling "the plan is simple- we go to their apartment, we steal one of their credit card or whatever and we're out!" she grinned widely "We've done this plenty of times before so it shouldn't be that hard"
Shiver and Big Man stared at each other and nodded.
Suddenly, all of them snickered wickedly "This plan is brilliant!" Shiver screamed enthusiastically.
Big Man put a fin on his chin and mused "Ay? (but do we know where they live?) "
They sure didn't think this through. Where could two of the most fresh and popular idols in the music industry be residing in such place. Maybe an expensive hotel? No... too obvious. They knew they came in Splatsville as undercover agents after all so going incognito is the only logical option. Maybe they rented a huge mansion in the outskirts of the city? This seemed more plausible in everyone's opinion.
As the trio brainstormed more possible locations, Frye's phone rang. She took it out of her pocket, eyes widening after reading the caller's name. Speak of the Devilfish.
"EVERYONE SHUT UP THE BOSS IS CALLING" she said, getting the others attention immediately, then answering with the speaker on.
"Hey Deep Cult? I need yo-"
"-it's Deep Cut" Shiver corrected, sounding annoyed. Her boss always finds a way to mess up their band name on purpose, which drives Shiver insane but apparently the boss finds hilarious.
"-whatever" she continues unfazed "I have an important mission for you three. You see, as i was stalking your location on my laptop through the tracking device i totally-didn't-put-in-your-sleep...." all Deep Cut members looked at each other wide-eyed but chose not to comment on it.
"*cough* i mean- i sensed you would be near a coffee shop at the moment, so your mission is to bring me the so called "latte". This is the important part so listen carefully. NO sugar and PLENTY of cream. I will send you the coordinates of my apartment through text. I expect your arrival soon, Deep Cup."
" IT'S DEEP CU-" Shiver shouted but before she could finish the other line was dead.
"... I'm going to kill her... " her eyes were full of murderous intent.
Frye chuckled "Not today bucko, we just hit the jackpot! We finally know where she lives BWAHAHAHA!" she then darted towards the nearest coffee shop to get the order. She was honestly happy to make progress on her totally justified future theft.
At this point Shiver and Big Man were waiting for Frye outside the store to arrive with the drink. "I don't get it!" Shiver said frustrated. "We are supposed to be 'cold-blooded' bandits! I think our boss should use us in something more dangerous than just delivering some stupid drink..." she pouted.
"Ay... ay! ( I just want the reward to be honest... But as long as I'm with you two whatever happens in the progress doesn't matter!)" Big Man put his fin on Shiver's shoulder to comfort his smaller friend. Shiver in return gave a small smile, she greatly appreciated her friend's cheering nature.
Frye got out of the store running like her life depended on it, eyes glued to her phone screen and crossing the streets blindly. " Let's go guys follow me!" she didn't even wait for her bandmates to catch up. When she was this excited for something it was impossible for anything to stop her. Not even this excessively speeding car that was rapidly approaching her- WAIT WHAT.
"AHHHHH!!-" A loud crash was heard as Frye collided with the car, sending her face first onto the ground. The latte got spilled not so far away. Shiver and Big Man watched in shock as this whole thing unraveled before their eyes, immediately running up to their friend to help.
"NO! THE LATTE!" Shiver cried dramatically.
"AY?! ( WHAT ABOUT FRYE?!") Big Man looked panicked.
"Oh yeah, her too" Shiver said with her most sarcastic tone ever, trying to appear casual by hiding her mouth with her open fan.
Big Man quickly crouched to check his friend's state. She was on the ground holding her head and clearly in pain but it was enough to indicate that she will be fine. She has survived worse than that. After some ice-cream and a nap she will be back to her feet as if nothing happened.
The sound of a car door opening made Shiver's train of thought stop. Whoever was the culprit was surely going to become Master Mega's dinner tonight. No-one messes with a Deep Cut member and gets away with it!
"Oh my cod I'm so sorry!" A suspiciously familiar woman's voice said. All deep Cut members turned their heads to look at her.
"BOSS ASSISTANT LADY?!" All three of them screamed simultaneously.
"Tee-hee the one and only!" Callie said casually, doing her signature Squid Sisters pose. But wait, this wasn't the time for greetings. "Oh let me pull the car away real quick!" she said frantically and got back to the car. Frye sat up with the help of Big Man, completely dazed and out of touch with her surroundings.
After the car engine started it suddenly jolted forward, hitting Frye square in the face with the front of the car, once again sending her to the ground. Shiver and Big Man shot a glare at Callie.
"Okay in my defense, i didn't pass my driver's test" She said as if it would make the situation any better.
"In your defense?!" Shiver questioned. How is this lunatic allowed on the streets?!
Finally, Callie managed to successfully put the car in reverse and move a few meters away. Thank cod there were no more eye witnesses.
"Let's get your friend into my car! I will drive us to my apartment, your boss would be so happy to see you!" she said excitedly.
"Ay?! (Shouldn't we go to a hospital?!) Big Man helped Frye stand up this time and let her lean on his fin.
"I'm NOT getting anywhere near that car if YOU'RE the one driving" Shiver said pointing at Callie and then turned to Frye.
"How are you feeling?"
"Aegh-" Frye grunted in pain.
Shiver didn't even let her finish her sentence and pat her on the shoulder "Glad you're feeling better!"
Callie had to find a way to convince the trio to come back home with her. She can't afford to explain to a hospital staff that she hit someone with a car again. Marie would have to pay handsomely to get her out of prison and hide all the evidence. She can't allow this to happen a second time. It wasn't her fault that speeding over the allowed limit was so fun! Ugh stupid laws.
"Uhhh... I'm going to give you free candy if you come with me?" Callie hoped this would work. Otherwise she would have to resort to the Octavio way of getting people to her place, which was kidnapping them. Plus hitting them on the head with a rock to make them unconscious. Ahh she learned so much from being kidnapped herself that one time!
Deep Cut looked extremely interested in the offer.
"Well, why didn't you say so?" Shiver practically dragged Frye to the backseat of the car, setting her up nice and cozy and then taking a seat herself.
"Ay! ( Imma go grab another latte wait for me!)"
A few minutes later, with the latte safely acquired, everyone got ready inside the car.
"LETS GOOOOOO!" Callie started speeding up, blasting the music from the radio in full volume. Deep Cut's screams of terror fueled her excitement even further.
Marie was sitting at the apartment's balcony, blowing away the last remnants of her cigarette. She didn't like to admit it, but leaving Callie to drive alone in the city made her pretty anxious. She knew that her cousin always gets a tad bit too excited when driving and somehow always gets in trouble. Miraculously enough, Callie would come back relatively unscathed after her self proclaimed 'happy little accidents'.
It was insane enough to leave Callie drive without a driver's license in the first place. She should have said no when she had the chance.
What she truly wanted was for her cousin to have fun in her own chaotic way, without intervening. What the kids nowadays call 'going goblin mode'. Cod she was way too old for this... What the shell was even a goblin?!
This was a terrible idea. She needed that latte so bad. What's taking Deep Cat so long?
As she was about to light another cigarette she heard banging at the apartment door. Finally she can enjoy the heavenly drink and maybe take her mind off her headache inducing cousin.
What she didn't expect to see when she opened the door was a guilty looking Callie next to a Big Man that was supporting a half dead Frye next to a full-of-joy Shiver that was holding a huge bag of 1 year's worth supply of candy. From the looks of it, Marie understood exactly what happened at this point.
"So... " Callie timidly offered the latte to her visibly annoyed cousin.
"Shut up." Marie shoved her cousin aside to check at her underlings. "Is the loud one okay?" she asked with the slightest hint of concern.
Big Man started shaking his leaning friend to get a response. "aeuhhhhhh" Frye said in slurred speech. "Ay (nope)".
Marie face-palmed. "I really don't want to deal with this. Here's Callie's credit card." She gave the card to Frye and pulled Callie inside the apartment.
"For the hospital bills. Go get some ice-cream as well or something. Thanks for the latte. Please don't say anything to the police by the way. Bye." And with that she closed the door with way too much force, startling the trio.
Deep Cut didn't know what was going on anymore. As they left they heard yelling and a huge bang sound from inside but that got out of their minds as the realization hit them. They got the credit card! They now had millions in their hands! And they didn't even have to steal it.
"This was way too easy. You should get hit by a car more often Frye" Shiver said as she was munching on a large piece of candy.
"So true! That was SO worth the concussion!" Frye said finally. Holding the credit card made her feel a lot better.
"Ay! (Let's go on a shopping spree!)" Big Man lifted Frye in the air.
"SHELL YEAH!!" The other two said with ecstatic voices.
The Squid Sisters were hanging out inside the living room, sitting on their huge couch. Callie was laying on Marie's lap, absent-mindedly scrolling through social media on her phone while Marie watched the late evening news on the TV. Truth to be told, Marie couldn't really stay mad at her cousin even if she almost committed a 3rd degree murder. She did however take Callie's car keys and flushed them down the toilet. That girl is never driving again under her watch.
A bit of crying and punching later, Callie accepted her fate. Or so Marie thought as Callie had secretly bought a replica of her car keys. Did her cousin really think she could stop her favorite source of fun like that? HA! Silly grandma.
Marie poked Callie's tentacle to get her attention. "Hey look, it's one of those absurd news we always laugh at" She said as she was pointing at the TV. Callie put her phone down and stared at the screen.
'-as it turns out headless pet shrimps became all the rage in the span of a few hours! You can literally not see anyone without one! Apparently a mysterious group started giving them away, the reason behind it being "to increase the freshness around here". It's incredible-'
"Wow i didn't expect that" Callie giggled. "It would be really fresh to ask them for one dontcha think?"
Marie side eyed her "You could barely take care of my pet scallop. I cannot imagine you keeping a freaking headless shrimp"
Callie didn't listen to her though, she continued watching the news. Ignorance is bliss after all.
' -we are currently interviewing the group responsible for this'
The camera turned towards the group, their appearance making Callie fall off the couch. "NO WAY! Are those-" The screen showed all 3 members of Deep Cut, wearing a black hoodie and sunglasses to hide their identities.
"Yes it certainly is them..." Marie sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. In her opinion it made them look like some sort of idiotic cult. She should teach them how to have better disguises next time they meet.
'What was the thing that helped you achieve this goal?'
"Oh just a recently acquired fortune we stumbled upon" Shiver responded while smugly holding Callie's credit card like some sort of trophy. The other two members nodded in affirmation.
"Wait- They didn't return my credit card... " Callie realized a bit too late, getting off the floor and walking restlessly around the couch. "Did they seriously buy all these shrimps with my money?"
Marie couldn't stop herself and started laughing at her cousin's misfortune. Karma is real after all.
"That must've been, like, super expensive!" Callie turned to her cousin in frustration "Stop laughing dammit!"
After calming herself, Marie was left with her signature smug smile. "It would also be super expensive to get you out of prison" she said snarkily. She was kinda proud of her minions and their current shenanigans, at least they didn't try to rob a house this time.
Callie sat back down on the couch, sighing in defeat. The interview on the TV had ended by the time she turned her attention back to it, replaced by an advertisement about... headless pet shrimps.
"...Yeahh i think that's enough for me today, i am going to bed" She then left her cousin after exchanging their goodnights.
Admittedly, she wasn't mad that Deep Cut used her money. Heck, she had more money than she knew what to do with it. At least they were used to make people happy. She just hoped she got her credit card back soon so she could buy an absurd amount of glitter to decorate Alterna. That place needs a glow up!
It was a long day for the actress, breaking the law and getting away with it was surely tiring, so after changing into her comfy pajamas the thought of her warm bed made her pretty drowsy. Just before she was about to plop down on it she saw movement under the blanket. Strange. She didn't remember kidnapping anyone.
Raising the blanket slowly, the sight of two small headless shrimps that were nestled together met her. Callie screamed silently after witnessing this. They are so adorable!
Next to them were two small collars for each one, one light green and the other magenta. Not far from that was also a small envelope with Deep Cut's logo on it.
Callie let out a sigh of relief after finding her credit card inside the envelope. There was also a small note that read:
"Thank you for the cash boss assistant lady! This is a token of our appreciation. Take good care of them!
- Deep Cut"
Callie was left with the biggest smile on her face after reading it. These dorks truly had a heart of gold. It made her adore them even further.
She gently picked up the two headless shrimps and speed walked excitedly towards the living room to show her cousin. Marie was going to be caught SO off guard after showing her this!
