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"Will? Are you awake?" Mike breathed out into the quiet.
"I'm awake," Will replied. He rolled over in his sleeping bag to face mike.
"Sorry I can't sleep."
"Me neither." It was a lie, he had been seconds away from falling asleep but he would stay awake for Mike.
Mike sat up in his bed. "Can I ask you something? And you can't judge me."
"Of course." Will sat up too, bringing his knees up to his chin.
"You've never kissed anyone right?" Mike asked even though he knew the answer. Will shook his head. "Have you ever thought about what it would be like?" Mike continued.
Will had thought about what it might be like. He thought about how it would feel to run his fingers through black curly hair. What it would feel like to have to stand on his tippy toes to kiss someone taller than him. "Yeah, I've thought about it."
Mike took a deep breath. "Have you ever— thought about what it would be like to — to kiss a guy?" The question was barely a whisper.
This is what Mike was scared he was going to judge him for. "Yeah," Will admitted. "Have you?" If Mike had asked, Will thought he could guess the answer.
"Yeah," Mike hid his face in his blanket.
Feeling either bold or reckless, Will spoke again. "Would you want to find out?"
Mike pulled his head out of the sheets. Will thought he could see a blush on Mike's face but he couldn't be sure in the darkness. "With— with you?"
"Yeah with me.” Will's bravery was slipping away and he was starting to just feel stupid. “I mean because we're friends it wouldn't be so scary and then no one would have to know."
No one would have to know
No one would have to know—
And it would stay a thing they whispered about in the dark.
"Yeah okay," Mike agreed.
They sat in silence for a moment before Will worked the courage to move. He got up and walked over to Mike's bed sitting on the end of it, tucking his legs under himself. Mike nervously shifted to face Will.
"I don't really know what to do," Mike whispered, embarrassed.
"You've kissed someone before," Will reminded him.
"But this is different," he replied. The words hung in the space between them.
This is different.
This isn't allowed.
This only happens in dark rooms with hushed tones.
No one would have to know
Not knowing what to say, Will decided he should go for it before he lost his nerve. He scooted a little closer to Mike and set a hand on Mike's knee. Will brought his other hand up and shakily lifted it to Mike's neck. "Is this okay?"
"Yeah."
Mike put one hand on Will's shoulder and the other snaked around his waist. They were close now. Impossibly close. Their faces were only a few inches apart. Will let his gaze fall to Mike's lips. Something he wasn't a stranger to doing but had never done so openly. Mike did the same, glancing from Will's wide eyes down to his lips and back up again.
Mike leaned in first, closing the gap between them. The angle was awkward, their noses bumping slightly before they tilted their heads slightly.
Mike thought that it was nothing like kissing a girl. He wasn't thinking about what time he had to get home. He wasn't thinking about if he remembered to do his laundry. All of his attention was on Will. On where their lips met, on where Wills's hand was on his face, where his hands were now both on Wills's back pulling him closer. On the sound their lips made as they parted only to meet again. Harder, less awkward, more sure.
They pulled apart, breath raged, eyes frantically sweeping over each other’s faces. They both leaned back putting space between them.
"Was it like you thought it would be?" Will asked when the silence felt too heavy.
"I don't really know what I was expecting."
"Well was it like kissing a girl?"
"No."
Will's heart sunk in his chest. Of course, it wouldn't be. This was a stupid idea.
"Was it bad?" Will asked stupidly.
"No," Mike repeated, and then, "I think I liked it."
"Oh.”
"Was it bad for you?"
"No, it wasn't bad."
"Good"
"Mike I think I'm gay," Will blurted without really meaning to.
"Oh," Mike looked down at his hands. "Does that mean you— you wanna do it again?"
"Only if you wanted to,"
Mike looked up to meet Will's eyes again. "Yeah, I want to."
And that time Will leaned in. Both of his hands slid around Mike's neck and up into his hair. He thought back to when he wondered what this would be like. Running his fingers through Mike's grown-out curls. He thinks it’s better than he could have ever imagined.