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When Edyn comes back to him, she does not bring answers. She brings a guarded look in her eyes, a new scar across her forearm, and the entire Grandberry pirate crew trailing behind her. 

Gillion has been carrying many questions. They have been rotting and festering inside him for weeks, painting Edyn in worse and worse lights, even as she is painted in blood in his nightmares.

They disintegrate as soon as he sees her again. When the Crescent Moon pulls up to Canella and Gillion recognizes the blue face peeking over the side, he can’t bring himself to care about those questions. 

This is good, because Edyn does not come bearing answers.

“Gillion!” She cries, leaping off the ship before it's even docked, and running at him.

He catches her, spins her around and holds her tight. He sobs into her shoulder, and he can feel her doing the same, and suddenly he does not care about the prophecy, or the nightmares, or the war, because his sister is safe and all is right with the world.

“Edyn,” he manages between tears, “you’re okay.”

“I told you I was safe,” she whispers, and something in him shatters, just a little bit.

He thinks of the conch shell, broken on the floor. He thinks of his heart, breaking just as badly when he read her letter, although it still beats deceptively in his chest. 

“I didn’t believe you,” he says, and it scrapes his throat as he forces it out.

Edyn doesn’t look angry. She just looks sad. “I thought you wouldn’t.”

“Then why-” Gillion snaps, before he can catch himself. 

Alright, maybe he does still have questions. 

“I’m sorry,” Edyn whispers, and there are tears welling in her eyes that he cannot handle seeing just then. 

“Yeah,” he says, and his voice is thick with tears too, their faces full of saltwater like they’re back home. “So am I.”

She follows him when he walks away. He lets her.

Gillion can feel Edyn staring in wonderment at the town around them. It makes him smile around the pain in his chest. He’s not sure where he’s going until his feet bring them both to the statue in the square.

He watches Edyn look at it.

“It’s me,” he says, pointing to the fish. 

She does not laugh, or patronize, or get angry. She sits on the edge of the pedestal and says, “tell me about it?”

So Gillion does. He tells her about his speech to the townspeople, about Marshal John, about running on rooftops. He tells her about the barrel of gunpowder, and blowing up the ship.

He can’t stop. The stories spill out of him in waves, cocooning them both in a bubble of watery reminiscence. Edyn listens with wide eyes and her full attention.

She seems thoughtful when he talks about the possibility of a second chosen one. She only looks away when he mentions Chip seeing her in the maze. He forges on. She wraps an arm around him when he talks about Kuba Kenta, and he leans into her.

Gillion gets all the way to Finn waking up before she interrupts. “He’s on your ship?”

“Yes.”

“He’s- is his memory-”

Gillion shakes his head. “It’s not good. Something- something has changed in his mind. His whole self keeps trying to float away.”

Edyn takes his hand and squeezes it. “We’ll find a way to help him,” she says, and there is steel in her voice. 

Gillion looks up at his sister, his brave, passionate, peaceful sister, and he feels like a little kid. He feels like they’re sitting in his room and she’s telling him that they can do anything. He feels like he’s home. “Promise?” He whispers.

She squeezes his hand three times, their code for I love you. “I promise,” she says, and he believes her. 

“Edyn,” he says, and he doesn’t know how to ask but he knows he must. “Please- can you please tell me what’s going on?”

She looks down, and his heart sinks, but then she says, “you deserve that much. I’ll try. I can’t- I can’t tell you everything, and I’m sorry for that. But I’ll be honest with everything I can say, alright?”

Gillion nods. 

“The Navy was trying to take over our home under the guise of peace and cooperation,” Edyn says, and Gillion turns to look at her properly. There is something in her voice he doesn’t recognize, something that makes him think that if he was Navy, he would be very, very scared. “The Elders were prepared to let them. They figured it wouldn’t matter once the prophecy was completed. Gillion- I watched them destroy you. For years, decades almost, I watched them grind you down into dust. I watched them turn my brother- the best and most caring triton I have ever known, with a heart so big it could fit the whole undersea and have room left over- I watched them turn that little boy into a tool. I watched them take away your childhood and turn you into an object, I watched them sand down your edges and grind you against a sharpening stone until they thought you were the weapon they wanted and you still proved them wrong.”

Edyn’s face gets steadily blurrier as she talks, becoming obscured by Gillion’s tears. He goes to wipe his eyes, but she grabs his hand.

“Gillion. It’s ok to cry. It’s good. The fact that you can still cry, and love, and fight for what you believe instead of what they always told you, despite what they did to you- you are the bravest, best, and kindest person I have ever known.”

Her voice breaks slightly, and he reaches out blindly, pulling her into a damp and messy hug. She hugs back forcefully, and he lets himself cry. 

When the sobs have subsided, she continues.

“I met Caspian- well, it doesn’t really matter. But he saw that I had fire in me, and he took me to Lizzie. She recruited me. I’ve been spying on the Navy for them. Chip saw me talking to one of my contacts.”

Gillion stares at her, pride and terror surging in equal force in his chest. “You said you were safe,” he says, voice trembling.

“I am,” she says, and he stands up, withdrawing his hand. “Gillion, I swear. Lizzie is good at what she does, she has so many cautionary measures in place it would take me a week just to list them. I’m as safe as I can possibly be.”

“That is not safe,” he says, “Edyn, spying on the Navy is- the complete opposite of safe.”

She looks down, and he closes his eyes, trying to untangle the web of emotions lodged in his throat.

“My choices are not your fault or responsibility,” Edyn says quietly. “I am doing this because I love you, and that love comes from me . The choices I make for it are my own. You are the most important thing in the world to me, and I will do whatever I can to make sure that you are safe and happy. There is not a single person in the world who deserves it more than you. You said I didn’t tell you because you’re a liability. Gillion, that is the opposite of the truth. You are my greatest asset, you are my driving force, you are my family, and I will not let them hurt you any more. You are the strongest person I know. You’ve inspired me to be strong too.” 

Edyn is crying now, but her voice does not waver. “I’m not going to stop helping Lizzie. I’m doing what’s right, and you taught me that’s the most important thing. But Gillion- the only reason, the only reason that I didn’t tell you is because I didn’t want to put that burden on you. You take on everything that was never meant to rest on your shoulders. I just wanted to make the load a little lighter. I never meant to make you feel that you were anything less than the strongest person I know.”

The piece of Gillion’s heart that had shattered with the conch shell agonizingly knits itself back together. Somehow, it is even more painful than the breaking was. Edyn stands up, and he collapses into her arms. He’s shaking, and she’s crying, and everything is right with the world because they are together again.

“Edyn,” he says, “I never meant to leave you. Not in the Undersea, not in Allport, not with the Navy. Never. Not alone. I don’t like that you’re in danger but… you are doing what you believe in, and I believe in you.”

“I believe in you too,” she says. “Not the chosen one, not the champion. You. Gillion Tidestrider. You can do anything you decide to, and no matter what it is, I’ll be there when you do.”

“Okay,” Gillion says quietly, and he still has questions, but for now it doesn’t matter. “Okay.”

“So,” Edyn says, wiping her eyes. “Can- can I see Grandpa?”

“Of course,” Gillion says. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”

“If he remembers me,” she says, sounding nervous.

“No one could forget you,” Gillion says immediately, and then feels compelled to add, “Chip certainly hasn’t.”

Edyn laughs. Gillion looks at her, confused. She stops laughing when she sees his face. “Gillion- you’re joking, right?”

“No.”

She stops walking and turns to him, hands on his shoulders. “Oh, dear. Alright, before I explain- how do you feel about Chip?”

Gillion smiles. “He is one of my best friends. He pulled me out of the ocean and gave me a home when I had nowhere else to go. He has taught me how to take things I want and protect my friends. He has changed me, more than anyone except the elders, but I like the changes he has made.” 

Edyn smiles. “You love him,” she says, continuing towards the Albatross.

Gillion follows. “Of course. He is family. He and Jay are my closest friends.” 

“And do you love him like you love Jay?”

Gillion starts to say yes, but something stops him. Not in exactly the same way, perhaps. He doesn't love Chip any less than he loves Jay, but there is a difference. Unbidden, the memory of the temple comes to him, the feeling of Chip’s mouth against his own.

Edyn just keeps smiling. “Do you remember Isnoren?”

“The girl who went to school with you?”

“Yes.”

“I remember. She liked to join our games. And flirt with you.”

Edyn laughs. “Yes. You know we look very similar?”

“Yes.” He’d heard his whole life how much he looked like Edyn. When they were younger, before they grew into more distinct shapes, people used to mix them up. Gillion had once asked Edyn if she could be the chosen one instead of him, since people thought she was him all the time. She had gone uncharacteristically serious, and said that if she could, she would in a heartbeat.

“She didn’t actually like me like that,” Edyn says, and Gillion is brought back to the present. “She liked you. She flirted with me because I was safe—attainable, accessible-”

“Not the chosen one.”

Edyn nods. “I think Chip’s reasons are similar.”

Gillion stares at her, and feels heat rising to his face. She smiles, and pokes him in the cheek. “We can talk about this later, alright? For now- we’re here.”

“So we are,” Gillion says, and decides to push that to the back of his mind until later. For now, he leads his sister up the rope ladder into his home, and he braces himself.

Finn is looking out the window when they get below decks. He turns around when he hears them coming.

“Grandpa?” Edyn asks, and her voice is shaky.

“…Edyn?” He asks, and she steps forward and hugs him.

Gillion smiles. “I am going to go help with repairs,” he says loudly. “Yell if you need anything or are being attacked.”

Edyn turns to look at him and mouths “thank you.”

He smiles, and turns to walk back up the steps. The Albatross is nearly deserted for now, everyone but Finn and Drey elsewhere. Gillion looks to the right and sees the Crescent Moon, then abruptly realizes he hadn’t said hello to anyone else. 

He hops down onto the dock, and knocks on the side of the other ship. “Permission to come aboard?” He asks.

“Permission granted!” Roars a familiar voice.

Marshal John’s smiling face appears over the side of the ship, and he reaches a hand down. For a dizzying moment, Gillion is reminded of his first day on the surface, of Chip’s hand reaching over the side of the first boat he had ever seen. He thinks about what Edyn said.

Then he shakes himself, smiles up at his friend, and takes his hand. John pulls Gillion over the railing and into a bone-crushing hug. 

Gillion hugs back, wild joy filling him. “John!”

“Gillion! Man, I can’t believe you’re here. When Caspian and I stopped being able to reach your shell… well, I’m glad you’re alive.”

Guilt almost chokes Gillion. “I- I’m sorry. I broke the shell. I didn’t think… I wasn’t thinking at all.”

“You broke it? On purpose?”

Gillion nods, shame making his limbs heavy.

“Hey, it’s alright man. I can get you a new one. We’ve got something of a stockpile. Lizzie has some kind of plan, but I’m sure she won’t miss one.” John looks around as if to check that they’re alone. “Just- let’s maybe not tell her.”

Gillion nods solemnly, and taps the side of his nose as he’s seen Chip do to agree with a well-meaning deception. 

John beams, and bounds below deck to grab him a shell.

“They’re called white lies Gill,” Chip had told him. “Look, not all lying is- equally bad. Some of it is like sarcasm- just convenient, or keeps you safe, or keeps things from being awkward.”

Gillion had squinted at him. “Your lies have made things quite awkward.”

Chip had laughed. “And that’s a good example of a bad lie. But look, I’m just saying, if you ever decide to not tell someone the whole truth, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. You deserve to have privacy, if not secrets.”

Gillion recalls this conversation, the patience in Chip’s voice, the sparkle in his eyes. Something in his heart that had ignited long ago burns brighter, an ember warming his whole chest. He wants to hold it close, to tend to it and bank it like a campfire. It feels like a secret.

John emerges from the shell storage, waving one in the air. Gillion takes it gratefully, and they sync it to John’s.

“Remember to track down Caspian and get his shell connected too,” he says, “he’s in the town with your friends right now, but he was real worried about you.”

“He- he was?”

“Yeah. We both were.”

Gillion clenches one fist, holding the shell in the other. “I’m sorry.”

“S’okay. It was to do with Edyn right?” Gillion nods. John shrugs. “Your sister’s been a huge help. Whatever you had to do, if it kept both of you safer, that’s all I care about.”

“It didn’t,” Gillion says, and he knows in his heart that it’s true. “Having no way of communicating with you all- that wasn’t safer. It was an impulse decision.” He looks down at his hands, thinks of burying his sword in Jayson Ferin’s chest, thinks of all the memories he’d seen flash across Chip’s mind where he put them all in danger. “I thought I was done with those.”

John frowns at him. “You’re being kinda hard on yourself, man.”

“I have to be.”

John barks a laugh. “No you don’t. Being tough and punishing never helped the Navy. Never even helped Lizzie. It certainly never helped me. It was you who helped me, not by being tough but by being kind. That’s the most powerful thing.”

Gillion smiles slightly. “I only gave you the chance to use what was already there.”

“But I wouldn’t have, if not for you,” John says, and his voice is full of complete conviction. “I mean- you really changed my life, Tidestrider. I think you’re selling yourself short. Without you I’d still be working for the Navy. You and your crew change lives. That’s what I’m trying to do too, but I wouldn’t have had the strength to do it if you didn’t show me how.”

Gillion shrugs, embarrassed. “I was really just doing what I was taught. Trying to be a hero.”

“You gave me the chance to choose my own destiny. You could have fought me, killed me, tied me up, or just let me keep living the way I was, but you chose to give me the opportunity to be good. I know damn well nobody taught you that, because I don’t know anyone else who’d do it. That was all you, right?”

Gillion thinks of the Elders. They do not believe in second chances. They would have killed John instantly. “I suppose that was all me, yes.”

“Why did you do it?”

“I saw goodness in you. I knew you could do better if you just had the chance.”

John puts a hand on his shoulder, smiling. “And that’s what’s so special about you, Gillion. You believe in second chances. You believe that no matter what someone has done, they can improve. I’ll never be able to repay you for that. But the thing is, Gill- you gotta apply that to yourself. If someone like me, who’s made hundreds of mistakes—and I mean hundreds— deserves a second chance, then so do you.”

Gillion freezes. John pats him on the shoulder. “I know what it looks like when someone’s tryna fix something. No matter what you messed up, or how many times, you showed me that everyone deserves a second chance. Take yours.”

Gillion hugs him, and tries to believe him. “John,” he says after a minute.

“What’s up?”

“How- how did you turn your back on the Navy? After being with them, believing in them, fighting their battles for so long. What gave you the strength to leave?”

John laughs. “Gillion. You did. Lizzie did. Seeing the people in this town rise up- they did. I didn’t have the strength by myself. I used the strength of the most passionate, heroic people I’d ever met. I’m not going to lie to you, it wasn’t easy. I had some… internal conflict.”

“Yes, we found your journal.”

“You- huh?”

Gillion winces. “Sorry. We didn’t read much of it.”

John just stares at him for a minute, then grins. “What did you think of the poetry?”

Gillion pictures Chip. White lies.

“It was great!”

“Thanks man!” John exclaims, slapping him on the back. “Anyway, yeah. I was going through some shit.”

Gillion nods. 

“But I knew- I knew you were right. No matter how much I cared about the Navy, how much I was wrapped up in their propaganda and bullshit- I still knew. And I decided to do the right thing, and find a family that was held together by love instead of lies.”

Gillion blinks rapidly, overwhelmed. John smiles at him. “Edyn’s told me a bit about your part of the Undersea. It sounds rough. But kid- your instincts are good, and your sense of justice even better. If I was a betting man, I’d bet on you doing the right thing every time.”

“Thank you,” Gillion says quietly, and means it.

John shrugs. “Any time. I mean that. You changed my life, let me choose one for myself when no one else would have bothered, and look at me now!” 

Gillion does. John stands on the deck of one of the most well known pirate ships in the world, and he is helping Lizzie reshape that world, one Navy takedown at a time. For a second, the guilt that Gillion wears, that weighs heavy on him like plate armor made of uranium, lifts off completely. For a second, Gillion feels like even if he never fulfills the prophecy, even if he never slays another evil, his life has meant something. 

John had learned who he was and what he wanted. Gillion thinks he can use his friends’ strength to do the same.

“Hey John,” a voice says from behind them, and Gillion turns to see Rudith poking his head out of a door onto the main deck. “I’m rearranging some stuff down here, could you give me a hand?”

“Of course!” John turns to Gillion. “Wanna move some stuff around?”

Gillion shakes his head. “It seems like you have it under control. I should go find Caspian.”

“Cool. I’ll see you around?”

Gillion nods. He looks back at the Albatross before leaving, and can faintly make out Edyn and Finn’s voices. He smiles. It seems like his family grows bigger by the day.

He starts walking into town before realizing he doesn’t know where Caspian would be. He takes out the smaller conch shell, the one that connects him to his co-captains. It’s unlikely that they would be with Caspian, but something in Gillion’s chest, something in that burning ember is tugging at him. 

He just wants to call Chip.

He’s doing it before he can really think. The shell pulses for a moment before Chip’s voice comes out of it. “Hey Gill, what’s up?”

Gillion almost tells the truth on instinct, but something stops him from saying I just wanted to hear your voice. 

White lies, he tells himself. “Hello Chip. Do you know where Caspian is?”

“Uh, not right now no. Jay and Lizzie went to that big tavern near the docks, he might be with them.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m near Ollie’s house. Just- saying goodbye.”

Chip sounds strangled, and Gillion realizes he’s trying not to cry. “We’re doing the right thing,” he says gently. “But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”

Chip sniffs, and Gillion can picture him nodding. “Yeah. I know.”

“I know you do.”

Neither of them speaks for a moment, and Gillion is content to just breathe in tandem with Chip.

“I’m gonna go find Jay,” Chip says finally. “Do you want to come and say anything to Ollie?”

“Yes, I’ll come see him. You can go down to the tavern, I’ll meet you there after.”

“Ok. See you soon.” Chip hangs up, and Gillion watches the glowing colour fade from the shell. 

He wants to tell himself he doesn’t understand why he feels brighter, happier, but he is not good enough at white lies to fool his own mind. 

He heads towards Ollie’s new home, still being built. Ollie is helping some men Gillion doesn’t recognize to lift bricks into the right shape. His mother sits outside watching her son, a smile on her face that is so full of love Gillion wonders how she doesn’t split in half with it.

Once, he would have wondered what it’s like to have someone look at you with that much care and kindness. He never saw that look from his own parents, only disappointment and greed. Now though, he knows what it’s like to be looked at with love. He thinks of Edyn, and Jay, and Chip, and he knows that he will be okay.

He looks at Ollie, laughing as he lifts ten times the weight of the men helping him, and at his mother. He knows they will be okay too.

“Hello Gillion,” Ms. Teach says as he walks up. 

“Hello.”

“Your friend just left, I assume you’re also here to say goodbye. Would you like to wait in the garden for Ollie? I’ll send him over in a minute.”

Gillion nods gratefully, and walks around to the back of the house. He sits leaning against the wall, and looks at the flowers Ms. Teach is planting.

He is so glad that Ollie will still have a childhood, that the Albatross hadn’t sharpened his soft edges or made him a tool. Gillion knows that taking a child from his home and his future is unforgivable. The child in him sees itself in Ollie, and he knows he will forever carry the guilt of not bringing the boy back sooner.

He also knows that Chip’s guilt is several times as heavy. It is a burden they all must bear, but none of them bear it alone. 

Ollie comes to join him after a few minutes. Gillion smiles up at him.

He looks down hesitantly. “Are you here to say bye?”

Gillion nods. “I’m afraid so.”

“I already said bye to Chip,” Ollie says, poking at a pebble with one foot. 

“He’s glad you’re back with your mother,” Gillion says, praying to Lunadeyis that Chip hadn’t said anything to the contrary. 

He stands up and puts a hand on Ollie’s shoulder. “He’s going to miss you, though. We all will. You were an excellent crew member, and no matter where you are you’ll always be a Riptide pirate. We will come back, I promise. We’ll visit you every time we can. We may be leaving, but- we aren’t leaving you.”

Ollie sniffles, then turns and suddenly throws his arms around Gillion’s waist. 

“Thank you,” he says, small voice muffled against Gillion’s armor. “I’m gonna miss you guys too.”

Gillion brings his hands up to hug him back, mindful of his own strength. He thinks of how glad Ollie’s mother is to have him back, and his heart hurts, just a little.

“Gillion?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks for always protecting me, and everyone. You’re really strong and good at it, you know. Chip taught me lots but- I probably wouldn’t have made it back without you too. My mom really needs me here, and it’s because of you that she gets me back. I’m glad- that I could be part of giving the fish a family.”

Gillion stares down at this child, this child that seems to have Chip’s humour, Jay’s heart, and Gillion’s bravery, along with plenty of much better things of his own. 

“I feel very lucky that you were,” he says, and Ollie beams.

“When you come back, can you teach me how to be a hero?”

Gillion laughs. “You’re already a hero! Look what just having you here has done for your mother.”

Ollie smiles. “Yeah. I’m not like you though. Chip said that you’re the one who showed him how to do the right thing, and how to protect other people.”

“He did?”

“Yeah, all the time. I asked him to teach me how to be a hero, and he said I should ask you.”

Gillion brings a hand up to rub at his chest. It feels tight suddenly, like the ember inside him has filled it with fire. “Oh.”

“I’ve seen you fight a lot of monsters,” Ollie adds. “It’s always easy to tell you’re the good guy. I want to fight bad guys too!”

“Ok,” Gillion says, “ok. I’ll teach you. When you’re older, alright? For now, just be yourself. That’s step number one to becoming the best hero you can be.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Ollie grins up at him. “Ok! Can I still do pranks if I’m a hero?”

Gillion nods seriously. “Of course you can. Chip does, and he’s a hero too.”

Ollie mimics his solemn nod. “Good point.” He kicks another pebble, and it goes soaring over several houses. Gillion gives him a look, and Ollie shrugs. “Chip said I could keep the belt, and my mom said it was ok. It’ll help me be a hero if I can be strong!”

Gillion nods. “You know,” he says, “you’re strong on the outside because of that belt. But you’re strong in here-” he pokes Ollie’s chest, “because of you. And it’s that strength that’s going to make you a hero.” 

Ollie considers this, looking out at the flowers. “Okay.”

Gillion wants to ask why he trusts him so much. He wants to ask if Ollie is really going to be okay here, if his time on the Albatross had given him scars they couldn’t see. 

Instead he says, “I’m going to go find Chip now. You’ll come see us when we leave right?”

Ollie nods. “Of course.” 

Gillion gives him one last hug, then watches him run back to his mother. Ms. Teach waves as Gillion walks out onto the street, and he waves back.

He makes his way towards the taverns. It’s been weeks since Gillion talked to a version of Caspian that wasn’t an illusion. He’s almost nervous. He walks into the first tavern he sees, which has a fish painted on the sign. He isn’t surprised to see Caspian at the bar, talking to a bartender. She laughs, then turns away to serve another customer, and Gillion walks forward.

He leans against the bar next to Caspian. “Hey,” he says, trying to sound cool and collected the way Caspian always does.

Caspian’s eyes go wide as he turns to him. “Gillion! You’re here!” 

Then they’re hugging, and Gillion wraps his arms around his friend and he feels safe. “Guess what?” He asks, and Caspian looks like he has a million questions, but he swallows them.

“What?”

“I figured out sentinel feat! I got it! I can only do it maybe half the time, but I managed.”

Caspian smiles. “That’s amazing. I knew you’d get there in the end. Gillion- Gods.”

Caspian slumps back down into his seat suddenly, like a puppet with its strings cut. He braces his elbows on the bar and puts his head in his hands. “Gods, I was so worried,” he mutters, and Gillion hears him take a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are,” Caspian says, and it is not forgiveness.

Gillion flounders for a moment, unsure what else to say. He suddenly wishes there was a monster he could slay, something he could kill to show Caspian his apology. The words alone do not do it justice. 

“John called ahead,” Caspian says, holding his shell up. “Told me you smashed yours.”

Gillion nods.

“You didn’t think,” Caspian says. “That’s okay.”

Gillion blinks. “It is?”

“Yes.”

“You- you’re not angry?”

Caspian turns to him, brow furrowed. “Why would I be angry?”

“I- I made you worry. I didn’t consider how it would hurt you, I just acted. You have every right to be upset.”

“Gillion- I worried because I care about you and wanted to make sure you were alright. I’m thrilled that you’re okay. I just needed a moment to process.”

“Oh.” Gillion blinks a few times, realizing his eyes are wet. “I thought you might not want to be friends with me anymore.”

Caspian stands and puts a hand on Gillion’s shoulder. “Everybody makes mistakes.”

“You don’t.”

Caspian actually laughs at that. “Of course I do. When I first joined Lizzie’s crew I almost got us all killed because I forgot to raise the anchor when she told me to. But she let me keep trying because she makes mistakes too. You can’t go through life expecting to be perfect, Gillion.”

Gillion almost laughs. “They expected me to be.”

Caspian smiles sadly. “I know. But I don’t. I only expect you to be yourself, and you do that every day of your life.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” 

Caspian nods.

“I don’t think I like myself very much.”

“That’s a shame. Because I do.”

Gillion looks down at his hands, and all he can see is blood. The people he’s killed, the people he couldn’t save. The drive containing what’s left of Alfonse. The rowboat without Felipe in it. The tattoo on his wrist that won’t come off. The scars on Gillion’s chest ache, and all he can see when he looks at himself are the places he’s failed. 

“Why?” He whispers. “I’m impulsive, and I don’t understand people, and I overreact. I keep- I keep failing, Caspian. I couldn’t be there for my friends when they needed me. I can’t be there for my sister now. I wasn’t there for you, these last few weeks, because I did something stupid and broke the shell. So why?” 

Caspian sighs. “Because you’re also kind, generous, fair, and an excellent friend and student ninety percent of the time. Yes, you think differently than others. That isn’t a bad thing. It’s what lets you find your way out of tight situations, and help your friends when no one else can. It’s why I wanted to train you, because I know you can take what I teach you and do things with it I couldn’t even dream of. A big part of my job is recruitment, so I’d like to say I’m a pretty good judge of character. The moment I met you I knew you were capable of great things, and you have done nothing but prove me right. Gillion… family doesn’t wait for you to mess up so they can kick you while you’re down. They help you stay standing, and lend a hand when you can’t. The Grandberry pirates are my second family. You’ve become my third.”

Gillion wipes his eyes, thinking of Caspian’s words reflected in Edyn, John, and Ollie’s voices. If so many of the people he loves agree on something, maybe they’re right after all.

“I missed you,” he says to Caspian quietly. “I regretted breaking the shell the first night I did it. I’ve been learning how to do illusions-” he demonstrates quickly, creating a foggy version of Caspian out of the air. “So I made one of you just to feel like I was talking to you. I’m sorry I broke it, I just felt like I needed to be completely alone. I was- I was angry, I think, at Edyn, and I didn’t want that anger to hurt anyone else.”

Caspian hugs him again. “You’re not alone anymore Gillion. You have your sister, me, and your co-captains. We all care about you, and none of us would leave you because of a few mistakes. You don’t need to earn our love. You have it.”

When he’s done crying, Gillion buys them both another drink from a very unfazed elven bartender. “I see people breaking down in this bar three times a day,” she says in response to Caspian’s quiet apology.

Gillion takes a sip of his drink, then asks, “how is everyone? How’s working with Lizzie?”

Caspian smiles. “Everyone is excellent. We’ve been making significant progress on recruitment. Lizzie is happy, so everyone is. She’s been worried about your co-captains though. I think she and Jay went into the market. She was… very happy to see her again.” Caspian pauses, and looks at him. “Don’t tell her I told you that.”

“White lies,” Gillion says, nodding.

Caspian laughs. “Did Chip teach you that?

Gillion feels himself blush. “Yes.”

Caspian watches his face with an expression like he’s trying not to smile. Gillion looks down, then says, “I could use your advice actually. About Chip.”

“Go ahead.”

Gillion fidgets with his glass, not sure how to ask what he wants to. All he knows is that he trusts Caspian not to judge, and to be impartial. He trusts Edyn too, of course, but she had always been a bit of a romantic.

“Edyn thinks he likes me,” Gillion says in a rush, “but I don’t know.”

Caspian nods, but says nothing. Gillion waits. Finally, Caspian says, “is that all?” Gillion shrugs. Caspian smiles. “It’s not. You don’t need advice on that. What is it, really?”

Gillion takes a sip of his drink. He thinks of the scar on Chip’s back from his sword, the scar on his shoulders from the lightning strike. He thinks of the memories that he’d seen in Chip’s mind when he asked if he was a liability. He is the chosen one, the hero of the deep, the champion of the Undersea, but none of that makes him worthy. Those are just more reasons that Chip should hate him. Those are just more reasons he should snuff out the fire glowing in his chest, the fire that had spread from Chip’s hands to his heart.

Then he thinks of the kiss in the temple again. He thinks of the look in Chip’s eyes when Gillion had told him that he wasn’t bad luck. He thinks of Chip sailing into a leviathan storm just to get him back, building an arena just to keep him.

If nothing else, Gillion thinks he owes it to Chip to be honest with himself.

“I think I’m in love with him,” he whispers.

Caspian smiles. “This is what you want advice on, yes?” Gillion nods. “Have you ever been in love before?” Gillion shakes his head, and realizes how true it is.

He isn’t sure he’d even had friends before meeting Jay and Chip. The only family he’d had was Edyn. Gillion hadn’t been able to put a name to the fire, to the sparks from Chip’s smile and the heat from his touch, because he’d never felt anything even close to it before. 

Caspian sighs. “My advice is this. Tell him.”

Gillion shakes his head. “I can’t just- I don’t know if-”

“Gillion. Edyn has met him maybe three times and she’s picked up on it. I’ve met him at most five and I picked up on it. Your sister is a very intelligent woman. I would listen to her if I were you.”

Gillion splutters for a moment. “What- picked up on what?” 

Caspian shakes his head, grinning. “He gets jealous, for one. When you talk to John or I. There’s also the way you look at each other. Gillion, I really don’t think you have anything to worry about. But more importantly, he’s not going to get mad if you tell him. He’s not going to leave.”

Gillion looks down, embarrassed. “That- that may have been what I was worried about.”

Caspian nods. “I did get that impression. You asked me for advice, I have one more piece. If your sister and I noticed something, Jay definitely did. I think you should talk to her.”

Their conversation is interrupted by a commotion from the tavern door. Gillion looks over and sees Lizzie, one arm flung around Jay’s shoulder, waving a knife around lazily and whispering in her ear. Gillion watches with interest, noting that Jay’s face is as red as her hair.

Jay catches sight of Caspian in the corner, and visibly sags with relief. She makes a beeline for them, Lizzie hanging off her shoulders like a loud and drunken scarf. 

“Hello Captain,” Caspian says, grinning. “Jay.”

“Caspian, thank fuck. I think Lizzie needs to go back to the ship now.”

“Noooo,” Lizzie says, “I think I should stay with you. Jay. Jayyyy. Did you know- you’re very pretty?”

Caspian stifles a laugh. Jay flushes even deeper. “I guess she’s just having one of those no alcohol tolerance days. Get her back safe, please?”

“Of course,” Caspian says, easily detaching Lizzie, and picking her up. “Will you come see her tomorrow?”

Jay frowns. “I mean- yeah. Why?”

Caspian grins. “Because she’s going to be extremely hungover and even more embarrassed, and I think it will be amusing.”

Jay sighs. “That- yeah, that’s probably true.”

Gillion stops listening to them, looking around the tavern. “Is Chip not with you?” He asks.

Jay shrugs. “He came in for a bit, but left when he saw- um.” She gestures vaguely at Lizzie, who has one hand out, trying to pet Jay’s hair. “I think he went to the market. He said he’d be back at the ship to sleep though.”

They had gone back to sleeping on the ship, as all of them found sleeping in Ensa’s house more difficult than anticipated due to the lack of movement. Gillion nods, absent-mindedly twisting the ring on his finger. Chip had never taken off the rings he’d manifested for them in the Block, so neither had Gillion. It’s become a comforting weight, a physical reminder of Chip that isn’t a scar.

Jay notices, and smiles. “He’s fine, Gill. Let’s go back to the ship and wait for him, okay?”

Gillion nods. Caspian starts to carry a protesting Lizzie out the door, and Jay and Gillion follow. The sky is nearly full dark, and Gillion is hit by the same wave of panic that sets in every time the sun goes down. The cursed scars twinge, and he presses a hand to his chest.

Jay nudges him. “Hey. You alright?”

“I’m fine,” he says quickly.

She frowns, but doesn’t press the issue. 

Edyn is sitting in the crow’s nest when they get to the Albatross. She smiles and waves, and Gillion settles into himself a little. She is here. Jay is here. Chip will be here soon. He hasn’t failed them yet. 

Edyn swings herself down and lands on the deck. “Hey,” she says, smiling at Jay.

Jay looks at Gillion. “Oh!” he says, realizing what he forgot to do. He whispers to Jay, “Edyn is spying on the Navy for Lizzie.”

“Ohh,” Jay says. She turns back to Edyn and smiles. “Hi.”

Edyn winces. “Hello. Sorry that you had to think I was a traitor.”

Jay shrugs. “We’ve all been traitors at some point,” she says, and Edyn smiles.

“I suppose that’s true.” Edyn hops off the ship, watching Caspian carry Lizzie onto the Crescent Moon. “Is she alright?”

“She just drank a lot,” Jay says, and Edyn nods.

“Ah. I’m going to give Caspian a hand. I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

Gillion hugs her, and lets her go. She will still be here tomorrow. They have time.

He climbs onto the ship after Jay, and feels bone-deep exhaustion settle into his limbs. He looks at the sky, suddenly blinking back tears. He slept last night, so he will not sleep tonight. He leans on the railing, trying to calm himself down, keep himself together.

“Gillion,” Jay says from behind him.

“I’m fine,” he says immediately, as much an instinct as a lie.

She steps up next to him, and puts a hand on his shoulder. The touch is gentle, grounding.

“I don’t think you are,” she says quietly.

Gillion closes his eyes. “I am as fine as I can be.” He tries to smile when he looks at her again. “Just because I cannot sleep doesn’t mean you have to stay up here. Go get some rest.”

Jay frowns. “I don’t want to just leave you alone.”

“There is nothing you can do,” Gillion says, and it comes out harsher than he intended, sharpened by his tiredness and the thread by which his composure is hanging.

Jay withdraws her hand and Gillion winces, turning away with the feeling of another mistake sitting heavy on his tongue.

Then he feels Jay’s hand pry his from the railing where it had been gripping tight enough to splinter the wood. She intertwines their fingers. 

“Gillion,” she says, “I don’t know how much of what I’m about to say makes sense, because I’m kind of tipsy right now. But it’s ok to be weak.”

He turns to look at her, surprised. “What?”

Jay sighs. “I’m not gonna stand here and say being cursed makes you stronger, because that’s bullshit and we both know it. It sucks that you’re dealing with this. But you don’t have to deal with it alone because you think not accepting help makes you a better person or something. I don’t care if you’re strong. I love you , not what you are or what you can do. I wouldn’t care if you couldn’t fight at all. I mean, look at Drey. Look at Finn. Look at Ollie, even, before he got the belt. All of them are weak in some ways. Weakness isn’t a bad thing, it’s just something that happens to people.” 

Gillion squeezes her hand, at a loss. “But I’m the chosen one,” he says. “If I can’t be strong- what’s the point of being me?”

Jay smiles at him. “You don’t have to be the chosen one here. Just be Gillion, and we’ll love you for that. We don’t actually need you to protect us, Gil. We know what we’re doing. We need you because we love you, and without you we don’t know what to do. It’s not a lack of strength that made us so upset when you were gone, it was because we missed you.”

Gillion just stares at her, and she sighs. “Look- when you were gone, Chip and I fell apart a little. We really need you here. You balance us. And you do that by being all versions of yourself, not just the strong ones. Chip especially… I mean, he was gonna leave the ship before you convinced him not to. He listens to you. We just need you, ok?”

Gillion hugs her, because he doesn’t know what to say. 

“Thank you,” he says after a while, and she nods.

“Tell me if there’s anything I can do to help, ok? I got more healing potions if you need them. We’re going to go and get you cured as soon as Ensa’s teleportation thing is done.”

Gillion nods. Then he remembers Caspian’s advice. 

“Are you in love with Lizzie?”

Jay pulls back, spluttering. “I don’t- I’m not- what do you- ugh.” She runs a hand through her hair, shaking her head. “Wow, Gillion. A little warning next time?”

Gillion frowns. “Oh, I’m sorry. Can I ask you something regarding Lizzie?”

Jay grins. “It’s fine, you don’t have to- whatever. Yeah.”

“Are you in love with her?”

Jay turns to look at the ocean, and Gillion can see that she’s blushing again. “I- no. Not really, I mean- I barely know her.”

“It sounds like you’re talking yourself out of it.”

Jay exhales shakily. “Maybe. I mean- one of the most infamous pirate captains in the world and a Ferin?”

“You are also one of the most infamous pirate captains in the world,” Gillion points out.

Jay laughs. “I guess I am, huh?” She is silent for a minute, just watching the waves, then says. “I’m not- I’m not in love with her, exactly. But I could be.”

“How would you know? If you were?”

Jay turns to face him, head tilted. “Why are you asking about this?”

“I think I’m in love with Chip.”

Jay’s eyes widen. “You’re just realizing that now?” 

“I mean- yes?”

“You two are hopeless,” Jay declares, but she’s grinning. “Are you asking me if you’re in love with him?”

“Ye- No. Maybe?”

“I can’t really answer that one for you, but if I had to guess I would say you probably are.”

Gillion nods. “And. Do you think he- I mean-”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” Gillion fidgets with his ring again. “Caspian thought you might say that.”

Jay purses her lips like she’s trying not to smile. “I’m not surprised he noticed.”

“He thinks I should tell him.”

“Do you want to tell him?”

Gillion opens his mouth, then closes it. He hadn’t actually considered that. 

Jay sighs. “You didn’t think about that, did you?” He shakes his head sheepishly. “Gillion. You can do things for yourself. You don’t need me or Caspian to tell you what to do, or what you should want. I know- I know what it’s like to be conditioned into not trusting yourself, into always going to someone else for the right move. But- a lot of the time, there isn’t really one right thing.” 

Jay looks at him, and he feels her words hit him, settling under his skin. “You’re not in the Undersea anymore,” she says. “You get a choice, and I don’t just mean that here.”

Gillion nods, letting himself absorb this. “I want to tell him,” he admits after a minute.

Jay shrugs. “Then you should.” Gillion looks down, unsure. “Gill- you once told me to tell you what I really wanted so you could fight for it. You deserve to fight for what you want too.”

She covers a yawn with one hand, and he smiles. 

“Right now I want you to get some rest.”

She laughs, then salutes him and heads below decks. 

Gillion shrugs his armor off, climbs up to the helm, and leans against the figurehead, looking out at the ocean. The breeze ruffles his hair, and he inhales the scent of the sea. For once, he is not homesick. Edyn is just a ship away. Jay is downstairs. Chip is in the town. His home is with him, and though he will always love the Undersea, he can’t forgive what its ruling class did to him. 

He thinks maybe the Elders do not deserve forgiveness. 

He always thought he would need to make peace with them when he inevitably returns to the Undersea. He thought that heroes forgive and forget, but he thinks of the cold hatred in Edyn’s voice, and knows both that he can’t and that he does not have to. 

He thinks of John and Jay, their loyalty torn from the organization that had raised them. He thinks of when Chip had finally told them about Reuben Price. Heroes do not forgive. They work to make sure that what happened to them will never happen to anyone else.

Gillion has people here who he loves and who love him wholly in return. Not only had the Elders never given him that, they’d actively tried to keep him from it. And he does not forgive them for that. He does not have to.

He’s so lost in thought that he doesn’t notice Chip boarding the ship until he comes to stand next to him. 

“Hey,” Chip says, and Gillion jumps. Gillion turns to face him, and Chip grins at him. Gillion sees him tuck something away- a bag maybe? 

Before he can ask about it, Chip steps forward and wraps his arms tightly around Gillion’s waist, resting his head against his shoulder.

Gillion hugs back, hesitantly at first, then as forcefully as he can without causing either of them bodily harm. Chip sighs contentedly, and Gillion’s heart melts where it is thumping erratically against his ribs.

“What’s this for?” He asks gently, not letting go at all.

Chip mumbles something into his neck that he doesn’t hear, though he can feel every breath. 

“I didn’t catch that,” Gillion says, still quiet and soft, not wanting to shatter this moment.

“I just missed you today,” Chip says equally quietly, sounding almost embarrassed. 

Gillion runs a hand up his back, and Chip’s shiver makes his stomach flip.

“I- I missed you too,” he says. 

Chip pulls back slowly, still holding onto Gillion’s arms. “Why are you still up here?” He asks.

Unconsciously, Gillion reaches for the scars on his chest. Chip notices, and winces. “Right, of course. God, I’m sorry Gill.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Gillion says, confused.

“We’re gonna find someone to fix it,” Chip says, ignoring this. “As soon as Ensa and Jay figure out that teleportation thingy. Back to Liquidus, or the Feywilds, or-”

Gillion grabs both of Chip’s shoulders, forcing him into eye contact. “Chip. Listen to me. It was not your fault.”

Chip reaches up to put one hand over Gillion’s. “I just wish I could’ve done something,” he says quietly.

“I know,” Gillion says, “but torturing yourself now won’t help either of us.”

Chip nods, looking down at the deck. Gillion can’t help thinking that he is lovely, framed in moonlight like Lunadeyis herself had seen his beauty and decided to illuminate it.

Gillion’s heart aches, something he has felt around Chip dozens of times but never had a name for until now. Want. Love.

“Staying out here isn’t really gonna help either,” Chip points out. “I’m heading to bed. You should too.”

Gillion traces the lines in the ship’s railing. “I would rather not,” he says.

Chip nudges him. “I know man. But you have to. Don’t let that Navy jackass win. And Gillion- however real they feel, they’re not. We’re all gonna be here when you wake up.”

Gillion sighs, then nods. “Alright. To bed.”

Chip smiles slightly. “You say that like you’re going into battle.”

Gillion just looks at him. “I am.”

When he manages to fall asleep, Gillion is standing in front of a castle. 

He doesn’t recognize it, but he can sense that great evil resides within. He looks around. He is alone. 

The sky is red and dry, the earth red and cracked. The castle looms, dark and pointed, and he knows he must go in. Fear seizes him, makes him unable to move. 

He just stares. 

Finally, he takes a step. Once he’s started, it’s easier, and he walks forwards into the castle. The doors are unlocked, as he knew they would be. 

The halls are long and twisted, and Gillion feels dizzy almost the moment he steps inside.

“Hello?” He calls, and his voice bounces off the wall, returning his own terror back to him. 

In the distance, he hears a scream. He recognizes it as Jay, and starts walking forwards. She screams again, and he starts to run. The corridors twist and turn, and she keeps screaming. Sometimes the sound is closer, sometimes farther away, but he never seems to reach her.

Eventually the screams stop completely, and a pit opens in his stomach. He keeps running.

Finally, he reaches a door that looks different from the rest, and he opens it. Jay’s mangled body lies there. A man looms above her, eyes crackling with fire. Two of Gillion’s swords are stuck in his chest. He slowly turns his head, meeting Gillion’s eyes.

“You could have saved her,” Jayson Ferin says, and then Gillion is outside the castle again.

He runs in immediately this time, trying to follow the same path as before. He gets lost almost right away. Every hallway looks identical, every door is locked. When the screams start, they are Ollie’s.

He finds the door that looks different, and bursts through. It does not open onto a room, but the town of Zero itself. It is burning. Ollie’s body lies in front of him, his mother kneeling over it. She turns to Gillion, anger in her eyes that he has never seen in life. “You could have saved him,” she cries.

Gillion is outside the castle again.

He almost doesn’t go in, knowing deep down that this can’t be real, but he has to enter. He has to try. He can still save them. 

Edyn’s screams echo through the hallways. Gillion runs and runs, and his throat grows so hoarse and raw he thinks he must be screaming too. 

Edyn’s screams cut off only moments before he finds the door. It opens to her corpse, a bullet hole in her chest, and a faceless Navy officer standing over her with a smoking gun. 

“Too late to save her,” they say, and Gillion is outside the castle again.

He waits for the screams before entering this time. They are Chip’s. His heart feels like it’s tearing itself apart.

He follows the sound as quickly as possible, pausing to listen instead of running full tilt in any direction. 

When he finds the right door, Chip is still screaming. Gillion throws the door open, and Chip stumbles into him, bruised and bloody. He looks up at Gillion, anguish and horror in his eyes. “Don’t do this to me,” he whispers.

“Chip,” Gillion says, and it comes out as a sob. “Chip, we’re going to get you out of here. Come on, I’ll carry you.” He looks back to the door.

Chip lets out a pained gasp. Gillion looks down, worried he has jostled and hurt him somehow.

There is a sword point sticking out of Chip’s chest. 

He falls to the ground, and all at once Gillion knows what he will see when he looks up.

His own face stares back at him. There is righteous vengeance in this Gillion’s eyes, and his hands hold the sword that has just ended Chip’s life. It scares him more than an evil version of himself ever could.

Gillion wakes up. 

The Albatross rocks slowly with the waves. The night is quiet. Gillion sits in his barrel, shaking. The scars on his chest hurt so badly he can’t hear himself think for a moment. He feels Kuba Kenta’s claws digging in everywhere. He manages to climb out of the barrel, almost falling over when his legs refuse to take his weight. He sinks to the floor and brings his knees up to his chest, putting his head down and trying to breathe around the pain.

He thinks of Chip and Jay’s dead bodies, and stumbles to his feet, pushing past the partition to their rooms. Jay lies in bed, and Gillion can see her chest rising and falling. The pain eases, just a little, and he leaves before he can wake her up. Chip is in the same sort of position, and Gillion watches him breathe until the pain recedes.

Then he climbs the stairs to the deck, climbs the mast to the crow’s nest, and lets himself cry. The wind whistles through the still asleep, not-on-fire island, and Gillion keeps his eyes wide, letting the wind sting them. It feels like being awake. It helps.

When the tears stop, he crosses the dock and knocks on the side of the Albatross. Rudith sticks his head over the edge, clearly on night watch.

“Oh, hello. Gillion, right?”

He nods. “Can I come see my sister?”

“Edyn? She’s asleep.”

“That’s fine, I just want to check on her.”

He nods, and Gillion climbs up. Rudith points him to Edyn’s room, where she is asleep and alive. 

Rudith puts a hand on his shoulder before he leaves. “I have some potions that can help with nightmares,” he says.

Gillion stops, surprised. “How did you know?”

“The captain does this, sometimes.”

“Oh. Well thank you, but I don’t think the potions would help me much.”

“You questioning my methods?”

“No, it’s just-” Gillion lifts his shirt, displaying the scars. Rudith sucks in a breath.

“Those look nasty. Have you treated them at all, other than healing spells?”

Gillion shakes his head.

Rudith sighs. “Damn pirates. Always think you’re too good for a doctor. Come on, let's get you down to the sick bay.”

Gillion opens his mouth to protest, to tell Rudith to keep his medicine for people who need it, but Jay’s words echo in his mind. “It sucks that you’re dealing with this. But you don’t have to deal with it alone because you think not accepting help makes you a better person.”

He follows Rudith belowdecks. Rudith cleans and bandages the scars. He applies a salve that cools the burning pain, explaining that they keep it stocked specifically to combat Rakshasa curses.

“We don’t have anything that can stop the nightmares, I’m afraid,” he says after bandaging the wound. “But I have a couple of potions that’ll make it easier for you to get the benefits of resting despite them.”

Gillion accepts these, and thanks Rudith profusely, who waves him off. “It’s my job. Now get back to your own ship before Lizzie wakes up and accuses me of harboring a stowaway.”

Gillion does as he’s told. He goes for a swim, letting the familiarity of it quiet his mind. He climbs back into the crow’s nest after an hour or so, feeling much better.

Chip emerges onto the deck as the sun rises. Gillion watches him rub the sleep out of his eyes, chest tight with affection. Chip looks up and sees him, smiles and waves, then holds up a finger to indicate he’ll be back in a moment. He runs below deck again, then returns a minute later holding the bag Gillion had seen the previous night.

Chip starts climbing up to Gillion one-handed, then stops when he reaches the nest, clearly confused about how to swing himself up without dropping the bag.

Gillion reaches down to him. “Need a hand?”

Chip accepts it, and Gillion pulls him up. Chip laughs as he falls back into the nest. “Reminds me of the first time we met,” he says, grinning at Gillion. “You got on the boat a lot more gracefully than that though.”

“It’s easier out of water,” Gillion says, and Chip ducks his head in agreement.

“What are you doing up here?” He asks.

“I’ve been awake for a while,” Gillion says, not mentioning what had woken him. He knows that Chip knows. “Rudith treated my scars a bit. He gave me some potions to help.”

“That’s good. How are you feeling?”

Better now that you’re here, Gillion thinks. He starts to say “fine,” but stops. Now is not the time for white lies.

“Better now that you’re here,” he says, and watches colour rise to Chip’s face.

“That’s, um, that’s good. Glad I could help.”

Chip shifts closer to him, both of them leaning against the mast so the length of their bodies are pressed together. “I got something for you,” he says, holding up the bag.

Gillion watches as he takes out two bracelets. They are finely woven, complex patterns made of tight strings. One is mostly warm colours with a single thin braid of blue cutting through it, the other is mostly cool colours with one braid of red. “You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to-” Chip starts, but Gillion cuts him off.

“I want to.”

He holds his hand out, and Chip ties the cool coloured one around his wrist. His fingers brush Gillion’s pulse point, and he wonders if Chip can feel how fast his heart is beating.

Chip ties the other one around his own wrist. “The colours are supposed to be symbolic and shit,” he says, not looking at Gillion. 

“I assumed.”

“But, um, the main thing is they’re tracking bracelets. So I can do this-” one of Chip’s fingers ignites, and he touches the flame to the blue thread. Gillion feels a pleasant warmth under his own bracelet. “-and I know where you are. I think you can do it with water.”

Gillion holds his hand out, drawing a droplet of water up to them from the ocean. It splashes onto the red thread, and he feels in his mind exactly where Chip is in relation to him. 

“Oh,” Gillion says quietly. 

Chip fidgets with the ring around his finger, and Gillion loves him. He loves him with such sudden ferocity it leaves him breathless, and he wonders how it took him so long to realize.

“I don’t want to lose you again,” Chip says quietly. “When you were in the pearl- it wasn’t good. I really need you here, man.”

“I’m sorry.”

Chip turns to him. “Do not apologize, Gillion. If it was anyone’s fault it was mine. I handed you that card-”

“I’m the one who decided to draw it-”

“You couldn’t have if I didn’t give it to you-”

“I’m pretty sure I could have,” Gillion says, then stops, realizing this is going nowhere.

Chip also stops, clearly thinking the same thing. “Okay. How about it’s nobody’s fault?”

“Nobody’s fault,” Gillion agrees, and Chip smiles.

“My point is. The bracelets are so I can always find you, if anything like that happens again.”

“And I can always find you.”

Chip nods. Gillion touches the bracelet, throat tight. “Thank you. And- thank you, for doing everything you did to get me back.”

“I’d have done more,” Chip says, looking out over Zero. “I’d have done anything.”

Gillion just stares at him, unsure of what to say.

“You mean, like, a lot to me,” Chip says. “You know that right?”

Gillion looks down. “I’m not sure I deserve it, but yes, I know it.”

“Of course you fucking deserve it,” Chip says, and his tone offers no room for argument. “You’re brave, and kind, and selfless. You make me laugh when I feel like shit, and you’ve changed me as a person. I am so much better because I met you, Gill. Pulling you out of the ocean is the best thing I’ve ever done. Before you- I knew what I was doing wasn’t right, but I couldn’t make myself care. I was so lost, and angry, and still grieving the Black Rose crew after so long. I was directionless. When I met Jay I finally felt like I could start living in the present, but I didn’t have a purpose until I met you.”

Chip looks down, smiling. “I thought you were crazy at first. I couldn’t understand how someone so honest and heroic existed, but mostly I couldn’t understand why a guy like that would be sailing with me. But you showed me that I could be more than a pirate, that I wasn’t just a liar and a thief, but a person. I was never honest with anyone before I met you. I was never kind either, and you were right with what you said in the arena. I didn’t put myself in front of anyone to protect them.”

Gillion opens his mouth to argue, but Chip shakes his head. “Don’t. You don’t know who I was before, Gill. He wasn’t a good guy.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Gillion says. “I think you were always good. You just needed… incentive.”

Chip laughs. “Maybe. Well, you certainly gave me that. I wanted to show you I could be a good person.”

“You are a good person.”

“You didn’t always think that.”

“I was wrong.”

Chip shakes his head. “Agree to disagree. Either way. I’m more honest because of you. I’m nicer because of you, even Ollie said so. I’m braver now too.”

“You’ve grown a lot,” Gillion says, “but you can’t give me credit for that. You stayed up all night to build me an arena. Do you think anyone else would do that?” Chip says nothing. “They wouldn’t,” Gillion says, answering himself. “Even Jay wouldn’t. That was all you.”

He looks over, and sees Chip watching him with wide eyes. His face is flushed. Gillion takes a steadying breath against the way his heart flutters. “You deserve to fight for what you want too.”

“Chip- I need to tell you something.”

Chip looks worried. “Ok.”

Gillion looks out at the ocean, alleviating the pressure of meeting Chip’s gaze. “I’m in love with you. I know I’ve put you in danger too many times, and it’s technically my destiny to do it even more. I’m not very smart, and I can’t do much of anything right now-” he touches his scars again, “-and I argue with you all the time. So perhaps I’m not worthy of it. But I realized yesterday, and I wanted to tell you, so- I’m telling you. I love you.”

Chip stares at him for a second, then says. “Not worthy? Of all the insane-” 

He pulls out the mind reading bracelets, puts one on, and then grabs Gillion’s wrist and puts it on him. Gillion feels Chip’s surface thoughts.

You are the most worthy person I have ever met, Chip’s voice says in his head.

Then he feels Chip’s mind open up. 

They are in the temple, on the Isles of Desire. Gillion kisses him, and he feels a kind of rushing wave in Chip’s chest, twin to the ember that burns in Gillion. He feels this Chip watch him walk away, thinking, I am so fucked.

The scene shifts, and Chip is in the Feywilds. He watches Jay walk in front of him, and he misses Gillion so much it feels like he might die from it.

Then they are on a rowboat in a storm. Chip is holding the pearl up, grim determination evident on his face. 

“Just throw it or something!” Jay yells.

“We throw it there’s a chance we lose him,” Chip yells back, “and I’m not taking that chance!”

They flash through dozens of other memories, things Gillion barely remembers. Scenes of him teaching Chip a move, or being confused at an Oversea custom, or telling a joke. Scenes of him training, all muscle and movement, or talking to Ollie, all softness and smiles. 

Chip’s love crashes over Gillion like a tidal wave. It pulls at him like an undertow, it carries him like the currents, and it surrounds and envelops him like the seas, like home. 

Its existence is as much of a fact as the ocean’s existence. It is undeniable.

Gillion surfaces slowly, Chip coming into focus before his eyes. He realizes Chip has taken the bracelet off, and is now watching Gillion cautiously.

“So,” Chip starts, but before he can say anything else, Gillion kisses him.

Chip kisses back immediately, and Gillion leans in, trying to kiss him deep enough to reach his heart, trying to make sure Chip tastes Gillion’s love the way Gillion has felt his, leaving no room for self doubt, leaving no room for anything but this.

It’s not like the one in the temple- that one had been picture perfect, untouchable, almost distant. This one is better. This one is real. 

They separate to breathe, and Chip smiles at him. “I love you too,” he says, “if that wasn’t clear.”

Gillion kisses him again, quickly. “It was,” he says, “it was.”

Jay sleeps somewhere below them, Ollie sleeps at home with his mother, Caspian, John, and Edyn sleep only a dock away. Chip cups his face, holds it like it’s something precious, and kisses him again. 

Gillion is loved.