Chapter Text
Kaladin sighed, leaning against the wall of the large room as the coalition meeting wore on. The chamber was filled with dignitaries, highprinces and other important lighteyes discussing important coalition matters, but Kaladin found his mind wandering. He was here to represent the Windrunners as their Highmarshal, but the current discussion had turned too bureaucratic for his tastes. He scanned the room, and found himself contemplating the ways in which someone could cause trouble using the vent high on the wall to his right. It had been almost a year since he was a part of Dalinar’s honor guard, but he couldn’t help his tendency to inspect the room as if he were one still.
Kaladin’s eyes continued to float around the room, inspecting faces, before lingering on two familiar ones - Adolin and Shallan. They sat suffocatingly close to one another, as always. Shallan caught his eye and made a subtle gagging expression as the Azir emperor launched into one of his long statements, and Kaladin smiled at her. Usually Radiant saved Shallan from these meetings when they got boring, but evidently that was not the case today. Adolin, eyes still looking forward at the Azir emperor respectfully, elbowed her, but Kaladin didn’t miss that slight smile he was holding back. Kaladin crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows at the pair, still smiling fondly, when a realization hit him like a stormwall.
… By the Almighty. Am I in love with them?
Kaladin started, standing up straighter, feeling a strange sense of conflict. In love with … both of them? He couldn’t deny the way his heart rate still picked up when Shallan was near, or the way he felt warm and safe when Adolin smiled at him. The longer he considered it, the more he was convinced he was a fool for not realizing it sooner. The thought was both thrilling and terrifying. Could a person do that? Could he do that?
Syl zipped around him, feeling his sudden unease. She stopped in front of him, folding her arms and giving him a questioning look, but Kaladin just shook his head lightly. Syl pouted a little before doing one last swirl around him and then shooting off to continue mimicking the people around the room.
Kaladin pointedly looked anywhere but at his two friends, struggling to keep his thoughts in check. He could sort out these pesky feelings later, and he should really be focusing on the meeting in case Dalinar asked something of him. But as the meeting progressed, Kaladin found himself unable to stop his eyes from drifting back over to Adolin and Shallan. Adolin with his blonde and black streaked hair, perfectly messy as always; Shallan, her striking red hair cascading over her shoulders. Storms.
The vent, think about that vent or anything else.
But as hard as he tried, Kaladin couldn’t help musing on his feelings. What did he even want from this kind of relationship? He was already their close friend. But as he imagined being close with them, truly close, the kind of constant support and comfort that could only come from a relationship, he was filled with an overwhelming sense of longing. Talking late into the night, waking up in the same bed in the morning- Kaladin shook his head, trying to dispel the thoughts. They were his friends . By the Almighty, they were married! There was no way this could work.
He took a deep breath, pushed his feelings aside, and steeled his eyes forward. If he couldn’t pay attention to the meeting, he at least wasn’t going to let himself get caught staring at Shallan and Adolin the entire time. Syl had drifted her way back over to him, and the way she glanced at the pair and then back at Kaladin with a questioning look made his face flush a little. How long was this meeting going to last?
An agonizing amount of time later, Navani finally called for the meeting’s conclusion. People began to filter out, and Kaladin spared a glance over at Adolin and Shallan. Adolin flashed him a grin and waved, and Kaladin tensed. He returned Adolin’s gesture with a curt nod before turning and making his way towards the exit, walking briskly to avoid a conversation with them. If there was one benefit his height and reputation granted him, it was that people generally moved out of his path without much effort on his part.
Syl flitted up next to him and formed herself back into a woman on his shoulder, sitting with her legs crossed primly. “Okay, something is definitely up, Kaladin.”
“I’ll tell you later.” Kaladin muttered under his breath to her, and his scowl deepened. Explaining this to Syl was going to be complicated. Syl frowned back, crossing her arms and continuing to stare at him. He took another deep breath and tried to force himself to relax. He could continue to be friends with Adolin and Shallan, same as they had been. He could get over this.
For all his convincing, however, he couldn’t help but feel a growing sense of longing. There was no use convincing his heart out of this - he wanted that warmth from them, to be a part of their love. To make them both smile.
Storms. This is bad.
Very bad.