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For a nine year old, Tim thinks he’s pretty cool. Not at school, because there he is a nerd, according to his peers at least. Not at home either, because literally no one is home. But everywhere else?
He’s really (ducking but with an F, because he is so not allowed to say adult words) cool. Cool enough to follow Batman and Robin around Gotham at night, snapping pictures of their work. And of them, obviously.
But that’s at night, and right now is definitely not at night. It’s five in the morning on a Saturday, so he really shouldn’t be up, but he can’t sleep, so sue him. He’s researching turtles, like any normal person does when they can’t sleep.
And then his phone rings, scaring him enough that he literally squeaks.
“Timothy!” His mother chirps, sounding only slightly drunk.
“Hello, mother. How are you today?”
“Oh I’m doing wonderful, thank you Timothy. I just wanted to tell you that your father and I will be back in one week, and to make sure the house is clean.”
“Of course. Is there anything else?” He replies, not mentioning the fact that they have a housekeeper who cleans the house.
“No.”
“Alright, mother. Good—“
The phone beeps before he can finish.
It’s actually funny how predictable his parents are, considering they’re only around maybe two months out of the year.
Here’s a secret about Tim (multiple, actually): he hates being called Timothy. He also loves his parents but hates them more than anything in the world. And he doesn’t think he knows what it feels like to be loved without doing something for it.
That’s probably because his parents only ever talk to him when he’s done something incredibly good (skipping two grades, for example), or when they’re yelling at him.
Take a guess at which happens more.
(Spoiler, it’s the yelling.)
But everything could be worse, and it’s not like it matters. He’s independent. There is no need for love.
Sometimes, though, he lays in bed with a blanket wrapped tight around him, wishing he could have a hug, like the ones he sees all the time. Like the ones Robin gives to kids who are tired and hungry and aching because they almost just died.
Tim is aching, but it’s only because he desperately wants a hug.
It doesn’t matter anyway.
-/-/-/-
Just because Tim is independent doesn’t mean he doesn’t fanboy over Robin. Seriously, Robin is really cool. Especially Jason’s Robin.
(He forgot to mention that his coolness exceeds the bounds of normal coolness. He knows who Batman, Nightwing, and Robin are. It was easy to figure out, linking Dick Grayson’s quadruple somersault to Robin’s, then he became Nightwing with the same moves. That led him to finding out that Bruce Wayne is Batman, because the guy adopted Dick a couple weeks before. Obviously, the new kid Batman adopted—Jason Todd— is Robin.
Honestly, it’s not difficult. Gothamites are just stupid.)
There are multiple reasons as to why Jason’s Robin is the coolest, which Tim has arranged alphabetically, for his convenience.
Fighting Skills. Jason, though young, is an excellent fighter, taking on a more offensive approach than what Dick did. He also plays dirty, allowing him to win fights against people three times his size.
Hugs. Tim hasn’t experienced these himself, but they seem to give everyone a sense of calm. They also look extremely comfortable, not unlike Dick’s, without looking suffocating.
Jokes. While jokes and constant puns probably aren’t the best for a vigilante, they show that nothing can break him. His youth, and confidence, makes his opponents second guess themselves. When horrible puns and jokes (which Batman laughs at!!) are thrown at them, they usually fail faster.
Kindness. Jason is just kind. He’s a good person, but not overwhelmingly so. And the fact that he grew up in Crime Alley, which has a crime rate above ninety percent (obviously), makes that even more incredible.
Parkour. There’s no really good way to put it, but jumping across roofs while making jokes and fighting bad guys? Very impressive.
Tim follows them around, because they’re cool and he wants to be like them. He wants to make a difference.
(Secretly, he knows being a vigilante will let him be loved, or at least get him killed fast enough that it won’t matter.)
Anyways, it’s not like he doesn’t have skills. Obviously, he’s a great detective, considering he figured out their identities at eight. And he’s pretty good at parkour, being able to follow the bat and bird easily, as well as run around the house on the railings when he gets bored. Admittedly, that happens a lot, as does climbing the side of his house to sit on the roof. He can also take beatings well, something he learned both from bullies at school and his father.
Overall, Tim could be a vigilante. He’s privately cool like that.
As Batman spots him on the fire escape though, he figures that he could get better at sneaking around. Or at least hiding the glint of his camera.
“Hey! Kid, what are you doing?” Batman (!!) yells at him, voice gruff but not actually mean. Robin pops behind Batman, then quite literally boops him on the nose and walks towards Tim.
“He’s just mad that he didn’t catch you sneaking after him. I’ve known for like two weeks,” Robin (Tim kind of wants to faint in excitement) stage whispers. He continues, speaking normally, “but seriously, what are ya doing?”
“You—you guys are really cool! And I get bored at home, so sometimes I follow you!”
Batman grunts in annoyance at that answer, which Tim slightly flinches back from, causing Robin to glare at Batman.
“Shoo, Bats. I got this. Go sulk on some random bat roof,” Robin says, making a rude hand gesture at Batman. “What’s your name, kiddo?”
“Timothy!”
“Alright, then, Timbit! I’ve got some questions for you, then we can get ice cream, okay?”
“Really? Why?”
“If I’m being honest, you’re like my only friend. And I don’t even know you. But I’ve got some really important questions to ask, before the fun questions at the ice cream place.”
Tim is completely and utterly shocked. No way is he Robin’s friend! He’s kind of Jason’s friend at school, but not really. He honestly doesn’t know if Jason even knows his name, considering they just sit together for lunch and smile at each other in the halls.
(In his opinion, Jason looks incredibly nervous to start conversations, and is probably expecting to be called a street rat.)
“Really?”
“Yup! Alright, first question! Do your parents live by you?” Jason asks, finally sitting next to Tim on the fire escape. It was probably awkward to stand, but Tim still freaks out a little. The question is a little weird, but nothing crazy and Jason seems like he cares about it, so Tim answers anyway.
“Technically, I think.”
“Okay…how about this: how long do they live with you?”
“Two or three months out of the year. They’re really important archeologists, so they travel a lot,” Tim replies, knowing that it’s not normal, but he’s old enough for it not to matter.
“Timbo, that’s not enough. Does someone else live with you, then?”
“Nope. Well, there is a housekeeper, but she only comes by a few hours a week.”
Jason (Robin, he supposes) makes a small squeaking sound, like he’s disappointed or something.
“It’s not a big deal, I’m independent.”
“Timbit, it is a big deal. Your parents are supposed to take care of you, not leave you alone.”
“But they do take care of me. I have a roof over my head, meals, and everything.”
“That’s basic necessities. They have to take care of you emotionally, too. Like, talk to you when you’re sad and give you hugs, shit like that.”
“Hugs are for babies, though. Besides, it’s not like they don’t touch me at all.”
Robin just looks sad, which sucks, because of course Tim would meet his hero and make him sad.
Instead of moving away from Tim in his obvious disappointment, Robin just pulls Tim close to him, and gives him a hug.
Automatically, Tim wraps his legs around Robin and tucks his head into his chest, snuggling in happily. Hugs are nice, way nicer than he thought. They make him feel safe and comfortable and warm inside.
(So this is what love is like.)
“Timbit, I have a few more questions for you, okay?”
“Alright,” Tim says, voice muffled slightly.
“Do your parents ever touch you, like in a bad way?”
“Like what?”
“Like hurt you? Or touch your private parts?” Robin asks, his voice cracking ever so slightly. Tim can feel Robin’s heart stuttering as Tim thinks. His parents do hurt him, but they don’t touch his private parts. And they only hurt him if he deserves it, if he does something really really bad. Normally they put him in the closet, which is honestly worse.
(And ironic, in Tim’s opinion, because he had a crush on a boy last year.)
“Not my private parts,” Tim replies, stopping as he hears Robin’s sigh of relief. “But sometimes they hurt me, if I was really bad.”
“How bad?”
“Well last time it was because I broke a vase, but the time before that I just made my father's mood bad.”
“Timmy, can I tell you a story?” Robin asks, after a moment of hesitation. Tim just nods into his chest. “Okay. Well, one time there was this little boy named…let’s call him Peter. Now, Peter grew up in crime alley, where everyone is mean. His parents were almost always home, but he couldn’t stay, because his mom was always high on drugs, which scared him. Sometimes, when his dad was home, I-Peter would be reading a book. And you know what his dad would do?”
“What?”
“If Wil-his dad couldn’t read the book, he would make Peter stand against the wall and beat him. Does that seem right to you, Timbit?”
“No! That’s not nice!”
“Well, what your parents do isn’t nice either. Do you remember how you made your father angry?”
“I turned his computer on because he couldn’t figure it out, I think.”
“Do you think it’s okay for Peter’s dad to hurt him if your dad hurts you for a similar reason?”
“No. But I deserved it.”
“No Tim, you didn’t. What you deserve from your parents is love, no questions asked,” Robin says, hugging Tim tighter, while Tim just snuggles in.
They sit like that for a little bit, then Jason fidgets, like he’s uncomfortable, though not with Tim. He’s probably just sick of sitting, something that happens in school quite a bit.
“What do you say we go get some ice cream? I’ll give you a piggyback ride!”
“What’s that?”
Robin abruptly stands up, still holding onto Tim, and swings him onto his back. After checking that Tim is secure, he slides down the escape ladder, laughing as Tim whoops.
“That was awesome!”
“I know, Timbit! Before I was Robin, I knew Batman and he did that with me all the time!”
“It’s so fun!”
“It is! Let’s go get some ice cream!”
And ice cream they get, talking and laughing for almost an hour before Batman comes to pick them up and bring Tim home.
Before Tim hops out of the bat car, Robin pulls him into a hug and whispers, “love ya, baby bird”
Tim smiles for the rest of the night.
-/-/-/-
At school the next day, Tim has a giant grin on his face. Strangely enough, so does Jason. Instead of just smiling at Tim when they pass each other in the hall, Jason bounds over and ruffles Tim’s hair affectionately.
“Hey Tim! How are you?”
“I’m okay, Jason. What’s up?”
“Nothing, I just realized I never really talked to you even though you’re like, my only friend. Like, seriously. I have no friends. Kinda pathetic.”
“I don’t have friends either.”
“You have me, dipshit,” Jason chirps (sometimes Tim thinks he wants to give away the fact that he dresses like a traffic light and cosplays a bird every night).
“I do?”
“Obviously. Who else is going to tell me random facts about cats?”
“How do you know I have random facts about cats? Are you stalking me?” Tim asks, mostly joking.
“C’mon, I’m not stalking you,” Jason says, then leans down and whispers, “anyway, we both know the real stalker is you, Timbit. You’ve known for a while, right?”
“How’d you know I knew?”
“Well I knew you knew because I know that you know things about people being birds and you use that knowledge to know who knows people who happen to be birds.”
“What the fluorine.”
“Exactly as I say to Bruce when he tells me to go to the dentist.”
“Jason, has anyone ever told you that you’re amazing?”
“Nope! You can call me Jay, Timbit. I hate unnecessary syllables.”
“You’re a hypocrite, Jay.”
Jason just beams back at him, hands him a sticky note with a phone number, and winks. Then the two minute bell rings, making both of them sprint to class, though Jason does it much more elegantly.
Tim will have to ask about that, one day.
-/-/-/-/-
For the next week, Tim and Jason sit together at lunch, actually talking this time. Jason also manipulates Tim into going to the Wayne Manor, where he is given cinnamon rolls made by Jason.
Alfred, the butler, lightheartedly complains about them being better than his own. Bruce, for an intimidating guy, is actually very timid, though after the third time Tim goes over, he cheerfully pats Tim on the back and tells him he’s always welcome. Dick smiles at him, wraps him in a giant octopus hug, and tells him that if he doesn’t visit regularly, he will literally cry.
Somehow, Tim doesn’t doubt that.
Wayne manor is actually where he is at the moment. Jason had invited him over again, asking if Tim could help explain some of the science stuff in exchange for help with English. Tim, of course, had said yes, excited to spend time with the boy he’d come to think of as a brother.
“Wait, this doesn’t make sense. Do you make the exponent thingies equal when multiplying or subtracting?” Jason asks, spinning on his desk chair and wearing one of Dick’s old hoodies. Jason had practically forced Tim into one of his own, smirking when Tim tried to hide a smile.
“Subtracting and adding. For multiplication you add the exponents together, dividing you subtract them.”
“How does this make sense to you?”
“A lonely childhood with no siblings or available parents, probably.”
“Well, I’m your brother now. So is Dickibird, I guess. Is number three 3.76 times 10 to the fifth?” Jason says, like it’s no big deal that they’re apparently brothers. What did Tim even do? Helping with homework doesn’t give him that much sway, he would know. (Yes, he does people’s homework to get them to not bully him.)
“Yeah.”
Jason whoops happily and does a celebratory spin on his chair, which is much more energetic than his confused spins.
“Jay?”
“What’s up, Timbit?”
“What did I do?”
“What do you mean, Tim?”
“To be your brother? Your friend, even?”
“You were just yourself. It’s hard to say, exactly. Everything about you says that you’re my brother, my friend. You didn’t have to do anything, Tim. You’re just you.”
“Really? That’s enough? Mother said love isn’t free, and being your brother means love, right? So what did I do?”
Jason moves off the chair and pulls Tim onto the couch in his room, hugging him tightly but gently, strong and full of love in the way only Jason can achieve.
“Tim, you will always be enough, okay? I promise you. And if love isn’t free then it isn’t love. Love ain’t a transaction, kiddo, it’s just love. It’s not explainable, there isn’t a scientific purpose for it or any of that. You don’t earn it, it’s given.”
“But how am I enough?”
“You are, and you always will be, kid. And any motherfucker who says otherwise is gonna have to face me, you got that? You’re enough, more than enough, always.”
They just sit, hugging, a mirror image of the week before, but this time on a bed with their hearts wide open rather than a fire escape with their guards up.
“Jay?”
“Yeah, Timbit?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, little brother, I love you too.”
-/-/-/-
Tim’s father is not happy when he returns wearing Jason’s hoodie. Somehow, Tim actually managed to forget that his parents were coming home. The fact that it’s seven at night and he’s wearing a hoodie, is enough to anger his father on a good night. The fact that he’s slouching slightly pushes him over the edge.
“Timothy! Just what exactly do you think you’re doing?” His father (Tim tries to call him Jack, instead of father, because Bruce seems to be rapidly claiming that role) shouts.
“Standing, sir,” Tim chirps, and oh god Jason is a terrible influence. His lack of filter is contagious, apparently.
Tim gets a slap in the face for that, then gets dragged down the hallway towards the main office.
He’s shaking under Jack’s foot, nose bloody from getting hit repeatedly, when the door opens.
“Timbit! You forgot your English folder!” Jason’s achingly familiar voice yells, and hearing it makes Tim want to cry. Does he really deserve to get beat up just for slouching?
“Jay!” He shouts, desperately wiggling out of Jack’s hold.
“Tim! What the fuck is—“ Jason yells, stopping as he sees what’s happening. Jason freezes, and then his whole body tenses and his face hardens.
Jack is tackled off of Tim by Jason.
“You fucking piece of shit! I’m gonna kill you!” He screams, punching Jack as hard as possible.
As much as Tim hates his father, he’s still his father. He doesn’t deserve to die. “Jason! Calm down, please!”
“No! He hurt you!”
“Jason please!”
“No!”
“Jay, you’re scaring me,” Tim whimpers, and it’s the truth. Jason’s got bloody fists and a bloody face, and he’s so angry he looks like he could kill an army with his bare hands.
He doesn’t look like Jason.
But Jason freezes, blinking hard and fast and scrambling away from Jack. He grabs Tim into a tight hug and calls Bruce, all while telling Tim he’s sorry and that everything will be okay.
And Tim believes it.
Why would his brother lie to him?
-/-/-/-/-
Jason’s body by Batman is found two days later, a day after going missing. His suit is bloody and torn, half the bones in his body broken.
The funeral is four days later.
Jason still looks broken, nothing like the strong kid who gave him hugs. Nothing like his brother.
The funeral is horrible.
He stands with Bruce, who managed to gain legal custody of him for a while, and Dick.
Bruce cries for a son, quietly.
Dick cries for a baby brother, not bothering to hide his tears.
Tim sobs for the only family he ever had.
He’s empty now.
He should’ve known he couldn’t afford love.
-/-/-/-
Three years later, he vows not to let another Robin die.
-/-/-/-
Two years after that, he sees Jason again.
They aren’t brothers anymore.