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It was a hot summer day when it happened. No one knew the story except for those who were in the accident, knew what happened. Today, as a little birb who so happened to witness it all, I would like to tell you all about the unspoken accident of a man attempting to seduce his husband and how it ended disastrously. Strap in because y’all are in for a ride.
Our story began in the household of Potter-Snape on one of the hottest summer days ever to grace the British Isle, which was a surprise to all of the residents since even a glimpse of sunlight never really graced that place, or so I have been told.
Our protagonists for today's story are Wixen's Most Famous Hero, The Chosen One, The Boy Who Lived Twice, Harry James Potter-Snape! With his also famous husband, for entirely different reasons, Severus Tobias Potter-Snape! Narrated and written by ThatBlastedLittleBirb™.
Harry didn’t like one bit of any sunny day that might grace The British Isles. It reduced his opportunity down to zero to have any resemblance of a sexual life for those days. Severus preferred to spend all his day locked up, down in his very cooled lab. You would think that someone who was very enthusiastic to see you all sweaty in The Tropics would also be very enthusiastic to see you all sweaty back at home, but nooooooo Severus would rather spend his time with his beloved Potions instead of his horney husband upstairs. Clearly, horney-for-your-sweaty-husband was only reserved when they were on holiday in The Tropics.
“I will show him The Tropics!” Harry grumbled out quietly, not feeling rather salty at all that his husband had left him horny. Harry began to plan several ways to seduce Severus so his husband would have plenty of wicked ways with him. It involves a lot of popsicles and deepthroating.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, am I right, fellow birbs? This whole ordeal was basically a magnet for problems, and everything that might cause it derailed very quickly, which was why Severus found himself sitting in his cactus garden, which he had carefully maintained for his next project, with Harry not so far from him, looking very horrified while all of his popsicles dribbled down to his shirt at a very alarming rate.
“Is this your idea of seducing?” The cold tone in Severus' voice sent chills down Harry's spine. Harry cringed at the tone internally. It has been a while since he properly angered his husband, and he never thought this would be the one that caused his burning anger.
“I’m really sorry Severus, I was just…” Severus held his hand up, which made Harry immediately halt his words. “You know what? I had enough bullshit today. Not only did what was supposed to be my breakthrough fail today, but this? On top of all of it?” Severus took a deep, shuddering breath, tempering down all the anger that was boiling just under the surface. “I had enough of everything today.”
Severus quickly stood up and walked out of the destroyed cactus garden. It left such a mark—a heart-shaped mark—not only on the garden but also on Severus' arses and legs. There was a snort coming out of Harry's nose, which he quickly put a stop to by slapping his hand to cover it. He really didn’t need another reason for Severus to be mad at him.
Unfortunately, Severus heard him and turned his head to the garden and then his back before speeding to their home in such a rage, slamming the door with a bang, leaving a devastated Harry behind.
For a couple of days, no birbs could be seen near the resident of Potter-Snape as the silent and cold war was so very cutting that even we, birbs, were left devastated despite being just observers. Since I am rather masochistic, I stayed in hope that one day it all would resolve and the birbs could come back and gossip over the sickly sweet couple once again.
It was rather a relief when I heard moaning again from the house and the usual bustle of the morning routine when the morning came. Once again, my masochistic tendency won, and I flew and perched at the opened window of the kitchen to see if the cold war was really over.
It was a relief to see them being their own love-dove selves, having breakfast. Harry’s head fell upon Severus’ shoulder, a smile stretching across his face. "You've got to admit, it was a lovely shape of a heart.” Severus let out a growl and shut Harry up with a snog.
“We will not speak of it again,” Severus told a slightly hazy-looking Harry. “Of course, of course. As long as you don’t spend your time stuck in your lab when a sunny day comes.” Harry smiled goofily. Severus softly smiled at his husband. “Of course.” and peck him on his lips.
All is well*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧