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Minato did not sign up to be a jounin sensei with the intention of getting a kid. Really, he didn’t. It just sort of… happened.
There was no way he could have expected being assigned a little six-year-old prodigy who had graduated the academy far too early and who had the potential to be one of the village’s best. Who had lost his legendary father to suicide after the village’s betrayal. Who was made spiteful and determined to be perfect in every way, to never fuck up so as to not end up like his father, to live by the shinobi rules and erase all emotion as they dictated.
So yes, Minato had not signed up to be a father when he’d signed those qualifying forms. That didn’t mean he wasn’t willing to be one, though, especially for this kid, so brilliant and so filled with self-hatred that he hid behind his pride. (If Konoha’s White Fang had never been disgraced, if he were still alive today, would Kakashi still hate himself? Still look at every little thing and think “not good enough”?)
Kakashi locks away his every feeling, does his best to be an emotionless tool for Konoha, but it’s a form of protection that’s never going to work, because Kakashi is a person as much as he tries to deny it. A person , a human being , not just some tool to be exploited for the village’s ends. Minato feels like he's being ripped apart from the inside out every time he thinks about it, every time he watches Kakashi shove away and compartmentalize his feelings.
Which is exactly what makes the present conversation so awkward.
“ So , Kakashi, have any… crushes, on anyone? Romantic inclinations?”
The ten year old looks at him dubiously; “A shinobi has no use for unnecessary emotion.”
And that’s exactly why this conversation is so important, why Minato needs to get through to him—even if only a little—because this is not okay , and Kakashi seriously needs to just let himself be a person before a shinobi, even if that means awkward conversations about adolescent crushes.
“ I had a crush on Kushina.” It’s true. Kushina laughed at him for months the first time he’d mentioned it even though they’d been dating for years . “Does that make me a bad shinobi?” Okay, so maybe weaponizing the kid’s admiration for him isn’t exactly the mature choice to make, but needs must and all that.
“ No! ” Kakashi cries with such an outrage that it seems to startle even him for a moment.
Minato smiles gently at Kakashi, even as the kid seems to realize that he’s been tricked, “If unnecessary emotions don’t make me a bad shinobi, why should they make you?”
Minato ruffles Kakashi’s hair, ignoring the way the kid’s hands half raise as if to dislodge his hands, “There have been many times when the memory of that love is all that’s kept me going, kid; if anything, emotions like that are the most important things to a shinobi.” They’re what keep us human , he doesn’t say, not yet. He’ll tell it to the kid one day, but Kakashi’s not ready for that yet, isn’t ready to be human at all, would much rather hide away in his book of rules and wish for an honorable death. (Minato isn’t going to let that happen. Isn’t going to let Kakashi be just another name on the memorial stone, the fallacy of an honorable death toted to dismiss what was taken, the life that could have been led.)
Kakashi’s eyes are wide as he stares up at Minato through his hair, though, so Minato at least got through to himat least a little. That’s good.
Minato smiles wide at Kakashi, easily removing his hand from the boy’s hair as said boy had failed to do, “So—got any crushes on any of the other rookies?”
Kakashi turns his head sharply to the side, determinedly avoiding Minato’s—admittedly somewhat prying—gaze. Kakashi blushes in his ears, though, so his attempt at hiding any reaction is rather poor. It is adorable, and Minato files away the moment in his memory.
“You do .”
“ I don’t have a—”
“Is it Rin?” Minato asks; one of the shinobi rules is to never lie to a superior, and Minato is unashamed to abuse the existence of this rule in the face of Kakashi’s stubbornness and unwillingness to talk about his feelings.
“No.” Kakashi bites out.
“Hmm”—-Minato shuffles through his memory of other kids near Kakashi’s age that he’s actually interacted with—“Kurenai?”
“ No. ”
“…Yugao?”
“ No. I told you, I don’t have a—”
“ Gai!”
Kakashi jolts, but he follows the jolt with a firm “No,” which means that Minato’s closer , but not right.
Hmm, probably a guy then, and following that logic, maybe… energetic? Minato wouldn’t have guessed that to be Kakashi’s type, but hey, Minato’d had an unfortunate and rather short-lived crush on Fugaku, and married Kushina , so who was he to judge someone’s type being juxtaposed to their personality?
The realization hits Minato like a brick—“Holy shit, you have a crush on Obit—”
“I don’t have a crush on—” Kakashi screeches unconvincingly, cutting himself off before he can complete the lie and slapping his hands over his ears as he clearly realizes that Minato knows now, and there is no getting out of this conversation.
“ That is so adorable holy fuck.”
“It’s not—” Kakashi’s protests remain unconvincing as his pale complexion dooms him to blush bright red even higher than his mask can cover.
Minato loves being a father; how else would he get this many opportunities to embarrass his kid?
Minato kind of wishes he could enjoy it more, but his mind is currently occupied running through all the times he should have noticed , all the times he’s seen the way Kakashi’s eyes lingered on Obito’s smile, only flitting away when he thinks someone’s noticed.
Is that… is that why he’s always trying so hard to get Obito to follow the rules? Does he think that Obito’s going to—that the village would—but they would, wouldn’t they? Wouldn’t hesitate to use Obito as a scapegoat like they had Sakumo; wouldn’t bother to consider the value of his life, should his death be determined more valuable.
Minato’s elation is burst in an instant, and he pulls Kakashi into a crushing hug.
Kakashi acts disgruntled at the contact like he always does, but Minato knows it’s a farce. Knows because Kakashi has never once pulled away, never truly fights his way out of Minato’s hugs even as he complains about them, because he’s a kid.
“You’re allowed to feel this,” Minato says, heart breaking as Kakashi stiffens in his arms at the words, “It’s good that you do. It makes you stronger .” And—and Kakashi may not agree, not now, but dammit Minato’s going to say it, will say it over and over again if that’s what it takes, because Kakashi’s just a kid , and he deserves to get to be shitty and emotional and young . Deserves to one day feel the joy that comes with falling in love—the strength that comes with it, because Minato was not lying about that part. Because loving Kushina has made him stronger in more ways than one, and her in turn.
Because he wants Kakashi to be able to have that one day, in whatever capacity that may be. Wants Kakashi to get to feel everything that comes with having someone mean everything to you , wants him to get to feel the happiness and the pain and the peace , even if he can’t see the appeal of that now.
Minato releases Kakashi, leans back with a sigh; “C’mon, kid, Kushina’s making something special for dinner and she’ll kill you if you don’t show up.”
“I can feed myself ,” Kakashi grumbles, but he follows Minato anyway.
(Minato has to stop himself from grinning like an idiot right the way to Kushina’s house as his kid follows him home like a lost puppy.)