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Toge and Yuuta get into the car, waving goodbye to their teacher, who wishes them luck.
It starts a little like this. Yuuta gets a mission to deal with a few grade 2 curses at an abandoned park, Gojo-sensei sends both Yuuta and him together, knowing that they’re likely to run into worse thanks to the higher ups’ hatred towards their special grade student, and the two of them are sent on their way.
When Ijichi drops them off at their location and sets up a veil, Toge and Yuuta draw their weapons. Well, Yuuta draws his katana. Toge pats the throat medicine in his pocket.
Their location is, for lack of a better word, pathetic. The roads are unkempt and dirty, the soil is covered in weeds or dead plants that have yet to decompose, and trash cans are overflowing. Clearly, no one had bothered to clean this park up after it closed down.
“Should we split up, Inumaki? There don’t seem to be any curses here,” Yuuta says.
Toge nods. Maybe he wouldn’t have agreed so easily last time—out of worry for his friend—but Yuuta has gotten a lot stronger. Toge would even argue that Yuuta could land a few blows on Maki when they’re sparring together.
He has always been strong in regards to his cursed energy and with Rika herself, but now that Rika has been released, Yuuta seems to have gotten much better control over his cursed energy output and technique. He’s also faster, stronger, bigger—
“Ah! Oh, never mind, that’s just a bug. Um, I’ll go left, if that’s okay? And we can meet back here at this fountain? There’s no water in it though, uh…”
Still the same Yuuta though, with regards to personality.
“Shake,” Toge says, patting his shoulder. Yuuta grins sheepishly and it makes Toge’s heart go all fuzzy.
“Yes, okay. Stay safe, Inumaki.”
Toge nods, gesturing to Yuuta to stay safe as well, and they’re off.
Toge ventures to the right, a cobblestone pathway that leads him to what looks like a hiking trail. He sighs, unzipping his collar so he may breathe easier.
As he hikes upwards, Toge only spots low-level curses. They mumble inarticulate words and gibberish to themselves. It’s not really a big deal, so Toge leaves them alone.
With every step he takes, his surroundings seem to get denser, the trees getting taller and shadier. Soon, he reaches a point with barely any sunlight at all, making it difficult to see anything.
Toge wonders how Yuuta is doing. He can’t feel his cursed energy from where he is. Hopefully Yuuta is doing okay, though. Toge always worries about him, albeit secretly. His friend has been through a lot.
A sudden rustling sound makes Toge pause in his tracks. His eyes narrow as he’s hit with the eerie feeling of something watching him. Looking up ahead, he sees a barricade that indicates he’s reached the end of the trail. Toge walks towards it, footsteps light and slow, eyes scanning his surroundings.
He’s not really nervous—not yet, at least. But the feeling of someone watching him only grows stronger the more he walks.
When he reaches the end, he trips. Toge stumbles, realising his ankle got caught up in… vines, maybe? He groans, reaching down to tug at the vine, and that’s when the curse appears.
It’s… surprisingly small, only about the height of Toge’s knees. It stares up at him and lets out a piercing squeal, flowers blooming all over its body. Toge loves flowers. But the flowers sprouting from this curse were melting, emitting a disgusting smell along with weird pulses of cursed energy.
The vines tighten. The curse seems to melt faster the tighter the vines are. Its stench grows stronger.
Toge opens his mouth. “Disintegrate.”
Right before his command hits, the curse giggles. “I love you!”
“Inumaki?! Inumaki, wake up! Hello?”
Toge groans at the voice and the fact that his body is being shaken rather aggressively. He opens his eyes, squinting when light attacks his vision. When it clears, he sees Yuuta’s face hovering over his, eyes wide with worry.
“Oh, thank God. I thought you were dead! What happened?”
Toge groans again, this time from the headache he gets when he tries to remember why he’s lying on the floor in the first place. Yuuta helps him sit up and Toge notices the vines still wrapped tightly around his ankle.
“I’ll get that,” Yuuta says, drawing his katana. “Don’t move.”
Now, most people would likely flinch at the sight of a special grade sorcerer pointing a katana straight at them, especially one with as much cursed energy as Yuuta, but Toge stays perfectly still. He knows Yuuta would never lay even a scratch on him if he can help it.
Toge watches Yuuta’s eyebrows pinch in concentration and can’t help but smile fondly. In a matter of seconds, his blade slices through the vines and frees his leg. Yuuta then offers his hand for him to grasp on and pull him up.
“How’s everything?” he asks, fretting as always.
“Shake,” Toge laughs. I’m fine.
“Are you sure? The veil disappeared when I didn’t do anything, so it must’ve been you. What curse was it?”
Toge shrugs. In all honesty, he cannot remember. He’s about to tell Yuuta to stop worrying when he’s interrupted by a series of coughs that send him doubling over in shock.
“Oh my God. Where’s your medicine? You must’ve overexerted again!”
Toge rolls his eyes and holds his hand up to sign at Yuuta, ‘I’m fine.’
“Are you sure?”
Toge pulls out his throat medicine and finishes the whole bottle in one go, showing it to Yuuta. The liquid slides down his throat as always, but for some reason, Toge still feels a small itch that won’t go away. He must’ve faced a much stronger curse than he thought.
“Alright. I’ll call Ijichi to pick us up. But if you feel dizzy or anything, tell me, okay?”
“Shake,” Toge affirms, “takana?”
“Me? I’m great!” Yuuta beams. “I’m glad you’re safe. Let’s get out of here.”
Yuuta keeps their hands interlocked, pulling Toge along. Toge watches Yuuta’s hair bounce as he walks, listens to him humming unconsciously to himself, and most of all, he stares at their clasped hands, feeling his own heart thump heavily.
Another itch crawls up his throat. He swallows it down.
After their mission, Yuuta dragged him straight to see Ieiri-san, insisting that he get a checkup. Their resident physician assured them that Toge was fine—all his vitals healthy and cursed energy levels normal. She did mention that his throat looked a bit raw, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary.
Yuuta was slightly more satisfied after that, shoulders relaxing and he stopped sucking his lip in. They submitted their mission report and immediately got ready for bed.
Before they go into their separate rooms, Yuuta pulls Toge into a hug. “I’m glad you’re safe,” he repeats, his voice barely above a whisper.
“…Tsuna.” You too.
“Next time, maybe we should not split up. Like, never.”
“Okaka!” Toge pulls away with a scolding but affectionate grin.
Yuuta laughs too, his eyes crinkling in the way they always do. Toge stares. People always assume his staring is just him dazing out, or that he’s trying to communicate something without any words. They’re not wrong, but Toge uses this excuse to stare straight into Yuuta’s eyes. His dark eyelashes and midnight eyes that shine when he giggles. It’s almost like there are actual stars in his eyes.
It’s beautiful.
Toge coughs suddenly, his throat all dry. He feels something crawl up his throat and quickly swallows it down yet again. Yuuta’s laughter fades.
“Man, you should drink some more water, okay? The mission probably didn’t give you any chances to do so. And rest well tonight! Maybe don't talk at all if you can.”
Toge nods just to appease Yuuta. His mother-hen tendencies… although it’s quite pleasant to be on the receiving end. Sometimes.
‘I promise. Go to sleep, silly,’ he signs.
Yuuta smiles and signs back. ‘Goodnight!’
When Toge enters his room, he pours himself a glass of cold water and chugs it down. He must’ve swallowed too fast, though, because he’s instantly sent into a coughing fit. He wracks up cough after cough, choking out whatever that's been irritating his throat. Something is forced out of him and…
Toge gapes at his bedsheets, eyes fixed on the single, indigo petal he just coughed up.
Despite just coming out from his throat, the petal is completely dry and healthy. It’s a rather beautiful shade of blue too, deep and vibrant, similar to the flowers that Toge likes to grow in the garden. If he had to compare the colour to something, maybe he’d say a midnight sky, or…
Yuuta’s eyes.
Toge shakes that thought away. It doesn’t matter what colour the petal is. He picks it up and crushes it brutally before dumping it into the trash.
Toge wishes it was a one time thing, but when he coughs up another petal the next morning—the exact same shade as the night before—he thinks he might be crazy.
Jujutsu sorcerers are all a little crazy, he tells himself, recalling Gojo-sensei’s words. Still, it does nothing to calm the growing nausea in his stomach.
Maybe he swallowed a flower when he was fighting yesterday. That makes sense, right? His body’s just clearing the petals out of his system.
Toge tosses the petal away and goes to brush his teeth. It proves to be a tough ordeal as he almost chokes on toothpaste the whole time.
When he reaches the kitchen to hunt for lunch (he skipped morning assembly again), he spots Maki, already throwing some sort of instant food into the microwave. She turns to greet him, only for her lips to twist into a smirk. “You look like dogshit, Toge. What time did you sleep?”
“Okaka,” Toge grumbles. ‘I slept a perfect amount, thank you.’
“Sure. Those circles under your eyes make you look like Panda, though. They’re almost as bad as Yuuta’s.”
‘Eat shit.’
Maki signs the same thing back, grinning. It’s one of the first phrases she learned when she was learning JSL. Toge hates her.
“Anyway,” she continues, pulling her food out of the microwave with bare hands, like a maniac. It’s a plate of chicken nuggets. “Gojo-sensei wants to talk to you and Yuuta. Something about yesterday’s mission.”
“…Takana?” How come?
“Hell if I know. Maybe your mission report sucked. I think Yuuta’s already in the classroom, so you better hurry.”
Toge is about to groan, but he’s interrupted once again by a cough. Or two. Or three.
Maki’s easygoing grin fades a little bit. “Wow. That sounded like it hurt. Did you run out of throat medicine again?”
Toge waves at her, shrugging. ‘It’s nothing.’
Before Maki can reply, Toge dashes forward and swipes a chicken nugget off her plate. He runs out of the kitchen, avoiding her wrath as she screeches unholy things at him.
Toge laughs to himself, popping the nugget in his mouth. It’s hot. Worth it.
He ignores Maki’s threats to chop his legs off and makes his way to their classroom, finding both Yuuta and Gojo-sensei inside. They’re eating popsicles.
“Inumaki!” Yuuta greets. Toge greets back with his customary kelp .
“Toge, there you are. Come in!” Gojo-sensei tosses him a popsicle, which he catches with ease. He looks at the label. It’s blueberry flavoured.
He unwraps it and throws it into his mouth, choking immediately with a cough. Gojo-sensei gives him an amused look. “That’s a lot to put in your mouth at one go.”
Yuuta gives him a scandalised look. He then turns to Toge, expression shifting into one of concern. “How’s your throat? Still coughing?”
Toge shrugs, walking in to hop on a table. The coolness of the popsicle actually does help soothe his throat, although he still has to hold back a few coughs in order to not draw attention to the… problem.
“Anyway,” Gojo-sensei says, pulling out his tablet and tapping away, “your mission report yesterday seems to be a bit of a blur. Neither of you know what the curse was?”
Yuuta shook his head. “I didn’t do anything, but I found Inumaki passed out on the floor. And Ieiri-san said he was fine.”
“Hm. Toge, what do you remember before you passed out?”
Toge sighs and holds the popsicle with his lips so he can sign. ‘I separated from Yuuta. I hiked up a trail. I saw a few low-level curses.’ He pauses, frowning. ‘I think… there was a weird one. It was black. Droopy. Flowers.’
Gojo-sensei cocks his head to the side. Despite the blindfold, Toge feels his piercing stare straight through his soul. “Did it do anything? Say anything?”
‘I got rid of it.’ He shrugs. ‘That’s it.’
“Well, by your memory, I suppose we can assume that that was the curse you had to exorcise. Are you sure there’s nothing else to it? Side effects?”
Yuuta looks at him, frowning. Toge doesn’t look him in the eye. He pulls the popsicle out and shrugs again. “Okaka.”
They both probably saw right through his lie, but neither of them pressed it. Toge is usually a pretty good liar, but both Gojo-sensei and Yuuta seem to have picked up on all his unconscious tells already. Still, he refuses to bring up the fact that he’s coughing up petals. That’s ridiculous, even for him.
“…Alright then. I suppose there’s nothing else. You’re both free to go.”
“Thank you, Gojo-sensei! Let us know if you need any help,” Yuuta says, beaming. So kind, as always. Toge sucks the popsicle harder.
They leave the classroom. Once they’re out of earshot and when he finishes his popsicle, Yuuta nudges him a bit. “Inumaki, why didn’t you tell him about your coughs?”
Toge doesn’t look at him again. ‘It’s not a big deal.’
“I heard you coughing in your room last night. Are you sure you rested? Or were you watching YouTube again until 4am?”
Toge rolls his eyes.
“Don’t give me that! It’s a genuine concern!” Yuuta sighs. “You should really take care of yourself, Inumaki. We can’t lose an amazing sorcerer because you’re so stubborn.”
Toge raises an eyebrow. ‘You think I’m an amazing sorcerer?’
“Yeah,” Yuuta says easily, like it’s obvious. Like it shouldn’t even be a question. “Of course. Have you seen yourself?”
His words are earnest and sincere. Toge’s suddenly thankful for the high collar of his uniform, which allows him to duck his head and hide the growing redness on his cheeks. How can someone say things like that so easily?
“Tsunamayo,” he mutters. Yuuta either doesn’t pick up on his embarrassment or chooses to ignore it, because he doesn’t say anything else after that.
They carry on with their day as usual. They eat lunch with their classmates, they train outside for a bit, Toge spends some time in the garden while Yuuta and Maki are sent on an errand to get some groceries for their weekly movie night. The entire day, Toge feels Yuuta’s eyes on him, watching him like a hawk. It makes coughing a lot more difficult than it has to be, knowing that Yuuta would become distressed if he coughs a little too much.
When Yuuta and Maki come back from their shopping trip, bags full of the unhealthiest snacks Toge has ever seen, Yuuta digs through the bags and pulls out a bottle. He passes it to Toge, who gives him a questioning look.
“It’s for your throat. Some sort of reliever medicine. I got it for you.”
Toge stares at him, stunned. He starts coughing again, unable to stop it. He can feel a petal fluttering out of his mouth and he clamps down on it, ducking to hide. Yuuta’s hands are on him in an instant, rubbing his back gently.
“You should drink it now. I think you’ll need it.”
Toge shakes his hand off. “Mentaiko!” he croaks out, dashing away. He ignores Yuuta calling after him and goes straight to his room, locking himself inside to spit the petal out.
Toge hates them. He hates how pretty and perfect they look. He hates how they’re a shade so similar to Yuuta’s eyes, how even though they disgust him, he finds himself drawn to the petals as well. They’re so beautiful that Toge can’t bring himself to hate it as much as he thinks he does.
He chokes out another petal, groaning at the burning sensation in his chest. Swiftly, he uncaps the drink Yuuta got him and gulps it down greedily, trying to relieve the feeling. It’s similar to how he feels when he uses his technique. It’s hell.
Wiping his mouth, Toge puts the bottle aside and crawls straight to bed. He grabs his phone to send a text to Panda, saying that he won’t be joining them for movie night. He turns his phone off before he can get a reply.
Toge just needs to sleep it off, really.
At about 1am, Toge is forcefully awoken by a series of coughs. He gasps for air and is scandalised when he looks at his hand to find not a petal, but an entire flower sitting innocently in his palm.
He stares and stares and stares, unable to believe what he’s seeing. It’s a pretty flower. Small and delicate, yet Toge hates it.
Maybe he’s hallucinating. Or dreaming.
He touches the petals nimbly. They’re smooth under his skin.
Toge gives up. He throws the blanket off him and stuffs the flower in his pocket before leaving his room as silently as possible. He scampers out and heads to the psychiatric ward, where he knows Ieiri-san will still be awake because she doesn’t sleep or something. Toge doesn’t know.
When he knocks quietly on the door, she opens it immediately, a cigarette held between her lips. She raises her eyebrows at him. “Toge. What’s wrong?”
She lets him in and Toge pulls the flower out, giving it to her. She gives him a strange look.
‘It came out of me,’ Toge signs.
That makes Ieiri-san a little more concerned. She asks him to explain, to which he tells her as much as he can remember. The curse, the petals, the constant coughing. She watches his hands attentively, all the while inspecting the flower in her hands.
“It’s a very healthy flower. And it came out of you?”
“Shake,” Toge mumbles, defeated. He feels insane. He’s still not convinced this isn’t some story he’s somehow strung up and manipulated himself into believing it.
“Come here.” Ieiri-san places her hands around his throat and Toge feels familiar waves of reversed curse energy flowing through. It makes him feel a bit better.
“Give me some time to research this. I’ll get back to you.” She smiles sympathetically. “Have you told anyone else?”
“…Okaka.”
“Then this’ll be our little secret.” She winks and relief washes over Toge’s body.
“Tsunamayo!” ‘Thank you!’
“No problem, kid. Go to bed.”
Toge does as instructed, heading back to his room. However, when he reaches, he senses someone inside his room. He raises an eyebrow. Judging from the immense amount of cursed energy leaking through, it’s either a wild curse broke into his room—
“Ack! Inumaki, I didn’t hear you coming, um—”
—or it’s just Yuuta.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to snoop. I woke up and was heading to the toilet and I saw your room door was open, so I checked and realised you weren’t inside, but I thought maybe you were hiding under the blankets or something so I walked in—”
“Tsuna, tsuna.” Toge interrupts, gesturing that it’s okay.
“Ah, okay… sorry. Again. Why are you up?”
Toge contemplates for a bit before deciding to tell the truth. ‘I went to see Ieiri-san.’
“Huh? Oh! Was she able to help?”
Never mind. “Shake,” Toge lies.
Yuuta’s worry must’ve overwhelmed him, for he doesn’t catch Toge’s lie. “That’s great! Wow, I can finally sleep in peace.” He laughs sheepishly. “I’ve been worried about you. Those coughs were bad.”
Toge feels his cheeks heat up. Yuuta seems to have that effect on him recently. He probably doesn’t realise it either. God.
“Anyway, I’ll let you get some sleep. Why didn’t you come for movie night, by the way?”
Toge grimaces. ‘Sorry. I didn’t feel like it.’
Yuuta pouts, although it’s clear he’s trying to hide his disappointment. He looks like a kicked puppy. Toge cannot believe this is the special grade sorcerer with the Queen of Curses under his control. Look at him, he’s harmless.
With a bit of hesitation, Toge lifts his hand to sign again. ‘We could watch something together right now, if you want.’
“Eh?” Yuuta glances inside his room and looks at the clock. “I mean, I’d love to! B-but you should be resting, right? And I don’t want to intrude or anything—”
“Yuuta,” Toge interrupts. ‘You’re not intruding. It’s up to you.’
For the first time ever, in the moonlit corridor outside his bedroom, Toge watches Yuuta’s cheeks flush completely red. It crawls all the way down to his neck. Yuuta stumbles back, a nervous laugh leaving his body. Toge stares, cocking his head to the side to figure out what could possibly make him so flustered.
It’s not that he minds, though. Yuuta looks cute.
“Okay!” he says a little too loud. “T-then let’s do it!”
They enter Toge’s room and Toge pulls his laptop out, coughing out a petal while it happens. It’s so dark that he can’t see it anyway, so he lets it flutter to the floor. When he turns, he sees Yuuta sitting on the complete edge of his bed, barely even a centimetre on top. He’s fidgeting.
“Tsuna,” Toge mutters, nudging him over. He forces his way in until Yuuta is sitting comfortably on his bed, although his arms are still crossed over his chest and he still looks nervous. “Tsunamayo!” Calm down!
“What? I’m calm! Perfectly calm.”
Toge reaches out to gently uncross his arms for him, then grabs his stuffed shark toy and gives it to him. Yuuta’s frown melts into an adoring grin when he looks at the plushy.
“You sleep with this?” he asks, holding it up with a giggle. Toge rolls his eyes.
“Shake.” ‘Shut up.’
“I’m not judging! It’s cute. What are we going to watch.”
Toge opens up Netflix on his laptop, feeling Yuuta lean onto him so he can see the screen. He promptly turns the other way to cough out a petal. That one flutters to the floor too.
He’s getting quite good and spitting petals out without sounding like a maniac. Toge’s quite proud of himself.
“Ooh! That one!”
Toge looks at what Yuuta has pointed to on his screen. “Takana?” A romance?
“It’s really good! I watched it once when I was really little. Come on!”
Yuuta’s eyes are shining excitedly. It’s rare that he voices out what he wants, always doing his best to please those around him. During their movie nights, Toge used to suggest horror movies to mess with him and see him squirm. But Yuuta never disagreed despite how much he hates them, always sitting through the movies with a brave face, clutching Panda’s arm so hard it would leave bruises if Panda wasn’t a cursed corpse—all because Toge suggested it. He stopped when he noticed.
It’s sweet, so Toge agrees easily and clicks onto the movie. They settle back against the pillows and begin watching the movie.
Yuuta, as it turns out, is definitely a closeted romance. He tries not to, but he always lets out a small ‘aww!’ when something remotely cute happens. Even at the scene where the main characters are yelling at each other in the pouring rain, both sobbing, Yuuta’s sobbing too. Toge silently hands him a tissue. He may have also shed a tear, but Yuuta didn’t need to know that.
Throughout the movie, Toge tracks that he’s coughed up a total of four petals and one flower. The flower was absolute hell to get out—he didn’t want to sound like a dying walrus while a romantic scene was playing. The petals all go to the floor as Toge is unable to get up to throw them away. He’ll do it later.
At 3am, they finish the movie. Yuuta got so emotional that he teared up again and Toge had to laugh. Yuuta whacks him with his plushy shark.
“Mentaiko!” Toge gasps, reaching for his pillow to do the same. Yuuta dodges with a giggle, sticking his tongue out. Toge copies him because he’s childish, but that apparently makes Yuuta freeze. His eyes widen and Toge sees the same flush bloom across his skin.
“Takana?” What is it?
“Nothing! Nothing at all,” Yuuta says unconvincingly. Toge narrows his eyes. He sticks his tongue out again and Yuuta turns away, closing his eyes to breathe deeply.
Oh. Toge realises with a mischievous grin. Because of that?
“Yuuta,” he calls, shaking the older boy. “Yuuuuta~”
“I hate you,” Yuuta tells him resolutely, which makes Toge throw his head back and laugh.
‘What’s wrong with my tongue?’ he signs. Yuuta frowns.
“There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just… nothing. But I like it. The symbols. It looks beautiful.”
Toge’s breath hitches. Yuuta has called him a lot of things before. Awesome, cool, stubborn, evil… but never beautiful.
He’s never mentioned anything about Toge’s snake fangs and eyes either. Toge grew up with those marks as a burden—they were the cause of pain. They were shameful. They were to be hidden.
Yuuta suddenly reaches out to thumb the marks on his cheek. Toge thinks he’s going to faint. “I know why you cover them up, but you don’t have to be ashamed of them, okay? They symbolise the power you use to protect people, even with its repercussions. I think that’s amazing.”
Toge doesn’t dare move. He feels a horrible, horrible sensation in his throat and knows he’s going to throw up another flower.
Thankfully, Yuuta pulls back and hops off his bed. “Okay, now we should really sleep. Thank you for this, Inumaki.”
Toge quickly shakes his head. He holds out a hand and fingerspells, ‘T-O-G-E.’
“You… want me to call you that?”
He nods.
Yuuta smiles. “Okay. Thank you, Toge. Goodnight.”
He leaves the room, shutting the door gently behind him, and Toge lets himself go. He coughs until his throat’s raw and he picks up not just a flower, but one that’s still connected to the stem. A singular, flawless plant.
Toge tosses it to the floor. Maybe he’s really going to die.
Toge heads to Ieiri-san’s office and gives the flower to her the next day. She holds it in her hand, eyes wide with disbelief.
“Wow. This is a hell of a thing to throw up. Is your throat okay?”
Toge shrugs miserably. She gestures for him to come closer so she can heal his throat again.
“I did a bit of research,” she says as she heals. “I’ve found one potential cause, but it also happens to be a myth. I’m not sure if it’s even real.”
Toge gives her a look and she chuckles. “You’re right, it won’t hurt to consider. Here’s what I’ve written.” She hands him a slip of paper.
Curse: Hanahaki Disease
Cause: Strong, romantic feelings for someone, contact with the Hanahaki curse
Symptoms: Coughing up of flowers that grow in the lungs. The longer the feelings fester, the bigger the flowers grow. Eventually, the cursed will die from suffocation.
Last case recorded: 9th September 1989. No information available.
Cure: The cursed must confess their romantic feelings to the desired, who must then return their feelings. Either that, or the flowers are to be surgically removed from the lungs. This will, however, cause the cursed to forget the desired and be unable to harbour any future romantic feelings for them.
Toge’s grip on the paper grows tighter the more he reads. Ieiri-san shrugs. “It’s an old Japanese myth. It might not even be real, but it matches your current symptoms quite well. Is there anyone who fits the description of the desired?”
His mind flashes to his classmate, the one with sleek black hair and eyes the same colour as the flowers he keeps throwing up. Toge’s throat goes dry.
He can’t refute what his own heart says. Toge knows that he is harbouring a big, big crush on his best friend. And it’s been there for a while.
“…Shake.”
Ieiri-san gives him a knowing look. “You best tell him, then.”
“Okaka!” ‘ I didn’t even say who!’
She rolls her eyes. “Who else would it be? I thought about it when you two came back from your mission. He was so worried about you, it was quite sweet.”
Toge does not blush furiously. He does not. It’s simply a bit too hot in her office. Really.
“Do you mind if I take a quick look at what’s in your lungs, Toge?” she asks. Toge nods, pulling off his top.
Gently, she places her palms on his chest and they start glowing a light blue colour. She closes her eyes and hums. Toge can feel the cursed energy seeping through his body, prodding, searching. It’s a weird feeling.
Eventually, Ieiri-san pulls away with a grimace. “There does seem to be… roots. And a lot of petals. It’s quite serious, Toge. You could die.”
‘I’d rather that than let him know.’
She rolls her eyes again. Toge is starting to feel very judged. “Gay people are so stubborn.”
‘Gojo-sensei says that you’ve had a crush on Iori-sensei from Kyoto for the past two years.’
Ieiri-san gasps. “That piece of shit! He’s lying to you!”
Toge grins. He bursts into coughs immediately after. Another flower—this one with an even longer stem—appears.
“That is brutal,” Ieiri-san says. She pats him on the back. “But seriously. Think about it. The surgery route is possible, but I don’t think you’d want that.”
Toge imagines life without Yuuta. Without his smiles and his protectiveness and his unwavering kindness. All he can imagine is misery.
“Okaka,” he says quietly, knowing she’s right. She nods and ruffles his hair, telling him he’s free to go.
Toge puts on his clothes and leaves her office, heart feeling heavier than ever.
There’s something about knowing your time is limited that makes every second of your day so precious.
Toge becomes even more silent than usual, choosing to spend his time watching his friends more carefully. He already knows them like the back of his hand, already has their mannerisms burned into his memory, but he keeps watching anyway. He leans against Panda in the warm afternoon sun, basking in his soft fur and appreciating his quiet company. He watches Yuuta and Maki train while trading jabs at each other, admiring Maki’s flawless fighting style and Yuuta’s quick adaptability.
He especially keeps his eye on Yuuta, realising that everything he knows about him might be gone the next day.
Toge won’t remember that Yuuta likes salad only if it’s drenched in dressing. He won’t remember that Yuuta hates horror movies but will watch them if Toge asks. He won’t remember the exact shade of Yuuta’s eyes or the sound of his voice when it’s just them at 2am, won’t know that Yuuta’s the one who understands all his onigiri gibberish perfectly, won’t notice his nervous habit of kneading erasers in class, won’t be able to recall Yuuta telling him he’s beautiful.
It’s not worth losing, Toge thinks.
But what about the alternative? Toge can’t confess to Yuuta. He can’t even speak without drawbacks. Yuuta deserves a confession he can hear, one that doesn’t leave him confused, one not made up of onigiri ingredients or sign language.
And besides, even if Toge does muster up the courage to confess, the curse wouldn’t be broken. Yuuta has to return those feelings, and—well, Toge thinks Yuuta’s straight. And even if he wasn’t, he’s bound to a fiancée he’s had since he was a kid, for God’s sake. Toge couldn’t have chosen a more unavailable crush.
So he settles for doing nothing. He spends the rest of his Saturday afternoon in a stalemate, unsure of which option would be worse.
I’m going to die, he thinks for the millionth time. He sighs and sinks further into Panda’s body.
The next time Toge coughs out something, it’s a twig.
Not a stem, just—a whole fucking twig. It’s small enough to fit through his throat, but when Toge coughs again, blood splatters out and drips into the sink.
What the fuck.
Toge’s not unfamiliar with blood. Every time he overuses his technique, he’s going to vomit blood. Last year, during The Incident that he doesn’t like to think about, he coughed out more blood than he thought was possible. He’s spent his whole life doing this shit.
Then why… Why is he feeling so afraid?
He frantically washes the blood away and throws the branch away. He can’t even bring himself to tell Ieiri-san that he’s let it get this bad. Opening his drawer, Toge pulls out a bottle of throat medicine and freezes.
It’s his last bottle.
He didn’t realise how much he’s been consuming the past few days. He hasn’t had a mission or an errand lately, so he has no chance to go get more either.
Still, his throat feels like sandpaper right now. Closing his eyes, Toge finishes his last bottle of medicine and gasps for air. He can feel a sharp sting in his throat every time he swallows. He searches for his water bottle and finishes the whole thing in one go too.
Toge curses in his head, nervous that if he tries to talk, he’ll make it even worse. He glances at his trash can, which is filled to the brim with flowers, stems, and now a twig. He needs to throw that away.
He grabs the bin and scurries out of his room, heading towards the garden. He’s the only one who spends time there anyway. When he reaches the garden, he goes into the tool shed where the compost is kept and dumps everything inside. He slams the door of the tool shed shut when he leaves.
When Toge takes a quick walk around the garden to check how the flowers are doing, he notices that the hydrangeas look a bit droopy. He goes to grab a hose to water them.
They’re Yuuta’s favourite, he remembers. Specifically the purple ones. Occasionally, Toge sees him out in the garden staring at the hydrangeas with a soft, peaceful look. Toge likes flowers too, but he doesn’t have a specific favourite like Yuuta does.
He looks at the empty spot in the garden and thinks that maybe he should plant a whole row of purple hydrangeas. Something like a passing gift for Yuuta. That would be nice.
Maybe a small part of Toge has already chosen not to confess. Though he doesn’t want to live in a world where Yuuta isn’t part of either. Maybe a small part of him has already chosen to die.
Toge solidifies that decision by grabbing the hydrangea seeds from the shed.
“Toge? Toge, you’re crazy. Wake up. What the hell.”
Toge’s eyes shoot awake and he gasps. He sits up and coughs erratically, clutching his throat. Unable to help it, he coughs out a few petals and twigs, choking on blood. When he looks up to see who woke him up, it’s Maki staring at him in horror.
“What the fuck. I didn’t know you could get so into gardening.”
‘Shut up,’ Toge signs with a groan. He’s going to have to wash the blood away from the grass. It looks disgusting. ‘I didn’t realise I fell asleep.’
“You’re the first person I’ve met to fall asleep in the garden. You’re insane,” Maki says with a laugh.
Now that Toge’s thinking about it, he’s pretty sure he didn’t fall asleep. He passed out while choking on a rather large twig that was cutting off his airflow. He looks at the knocked over watering can and grimaces.
“Yeah, that looks like a mess. What were you trying to do?”
Toge knows she’ll keep prodding him if he doesn’t tell her, so he gives in. ‘Planting purple hydrangeas.’
“Huh? Those are Yuuta’s favourite, aren’t they?” Her lips curl into a Chesire grin. “Were they for him?”
Toge coughs again, a petal fluttering out. She gives him a weird look. “Did you swallow flowers to get into the gardening mood or something? That’s odd, even for you. What’s wrong?”
Toge hesitates for a millisecond and it’s enough for Maki to catch. She bends down, voice becoming more sympathetic. “Dude. Don’t lie to me. Were you cursed by some flower curse?”
She has no idea. Toge shakes his head. ‘I fell headfirst into a shrub and swallowed it.’
Maki rolls her eyes. “Very funny. You’re not even giving me the usual okaka talk. Do you need water?”
Toge nods and she pulls out a water bottle out of thin fucking air. It’s the one she’s been using since first year, with a panda sticker and a salmon sticker on it. When Yuuta joined, she added a katana sticker for him. It’s the only bottle Toge ever sees her use.
“Here,” she says, uncapping it for him. Toge gulps the water down, tasting the metallic tang of blood in his mouth as he swallows. He gags a little bit.
“Okay. Tell me what’s up.” Maki sits on the grass in front of him, waiting expectantly.
And Toge… Toge doesn’t want to keep it in anymore. He spills everything to her. He’s signing so fast that his hands are going to cramp, but there’s so much to explain and he’s afraid he can’t get it all out in time. Maki watches attentively, fluent enough in JSL to keep up despite his messy sentences.
When he’s done, Maki takes a deep breath. “That sounds like a crazy curse to hide, Toge. Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
‘I told Ieiri-san,’ Toge defends.
“Toge,” she says quietly, “you know we don’t want to lose you. Were you intending to hide this until you died?”
Guilt claws at his chest. Maki rarely acts like this, so he knows she’s serious. She’s still looking him in the eye, though there’s an indisputable sadness in hers that makes him feel like he’s been a bit selfish. Maybe he shouldn’t have hid this from them.
“Takana,” he manages to say, although it sounds more like a croak. I’m sorry.
She stands up suddenly. “Get up, loser.” She holds her hand out.
Toge lets her pull him up and gives her a questioning look. “Trust me, just confess to him. I think he likes you too.”
“Okaka!”
“He does. You should see the way he looks at you. He looks at you like he wants to drown himself in you.”
Toge blushes, grumbling something incoherent, just to be a bit more stubborn. He’s unsure. He’s allowed to be so hesitant.
“Trust me, Toge. I’m never wrong.”
She drags him out of the garden and towards the rooms. They’re almost at Yuuta’s room when Toge suddenly doubles over, coughing intensely. He’s on the floor in an instant.
“Toge?! Toge!” Maki calls, but a ringing buzz in his ears overtakes the sound of voice and soon, he can’t hear her at all. His vision spins as he vomits blood, choking and breathing harshly.
“Maki, what’s wrong? E-eh, Toge!”
Toge looks up and sees Yuuta’s worried face, pretty eyes and soft hair all on display. He’s talking, but Toge can’t hear him at all.
“Yuuta,” he manages to get out, blood spilling all over his lips. “I love you.”
In his last moments of consciousness, Toge manages to see the sight of Yuuta blushing, mouth open in shock. He thinks, with a wistful smile, that it’s the best thing to see before he blacks out.
When Toge wakes up again, he’s shocked to find himself not in the afterworld, but in Yuuta’s room. It’s dark, but Yuuta’s bedside lamp is on, illuminating the room with a golden glow.
Toge turns his head and flinches, seeing a head of black hair laying on the bed beside him, body hunched over in what has to be an uncomfortable position. The moment Toge shifts his body, Yuuta is awake.
“Toge! Oh my God—don’t move. Wait here.”
Toge wants to speak, to ask him what’s going on, but he realises then that there’s an oxygen mask over his mouth. He touches it gently, frowning. Instead, he chooses to sign at Yuuta. ‘Why am I not dead?’
Those were probably the wrong choice of words, because Yuuta burst into tears. Toge’s hand freezes midair. Yuuta ducks his head down, wiping hastily at his eyes and apologising, blubbering many things.
“I hate you,” Yuuta cries out, hitting him weakly. “I hate you. Why didn’t you tell me, you jerk? Why did you choose to die?”
I’m sorry, Toge wants to say, but he can’t. I love you.
“Did you think it was what I would’ve wanted? Of course not, dummy! Even if I didn’t like you back, I would’ve wanted you to get the surgery so you could live! I would rather live in a world with you alive, even if I had to know that you’d never love me again, than have to visit your grave!”
Tears continue to spill from his cheeks. Toge feels his own eyes well up. “A-and! Rika-chan wants me to tell you that you’re stupid! And that she thinks you need a better sense of self-preservation too! Which I agree with!”
Toge puts his hand out, then pauses again when he registers what Yuuta said. ‘Wait. If you didn’t like me?’ he signs, placing heavy emphasis on the if.
“What the hell,” Yuuta mutters, wiping his tears away. He reaches out to cup Toge’s face, staring into his eyes. Toge feels overwhelmed already, like he’s sinking in the mystical abyss of Yuuta’s eyes, like he’s being haunted by the colour and blessed all the same.
“I love you, Inumaki Toge. I’ve been in love with you forever. I loved you then when I found out how selfless and sweet you were, and I love you now even though you’re a jerk. Please.” His voice fades off into a whisper. “Don’t let me lose you.”
Toge’s chest constricts. He dashes off Yuuta’s bed and to the bathroom, ripping off the stupid oxygen mask and throwing up arguably the most number of flowers he’s ever thrown. He chokes and gasps and cries, blood splattering all over the sink. Yuuta’s hands are suddenly on his neck, waves of reversed cursed energy flowing to heal the damage done to his throat.
Finally, Toge empties out his lungs, and he feels himself breathe normally again.
“Slow down. Don’t talk yet,” Yuuta mutters behind him, still healing him. Toge looks into the mirror. He sees Yuuta’s concentrated frown and feels the warmth of his hands on his neck, and thinks about how close he was to losing something as precious as this.
Toge turns around, not heeding Yuuta’s words. He buries himself into Yuuta’s chest, arms wrapped tightly around him.
“Yuuta,” he sobs, unable to get the words out of his raw, scratched up throat.
“I love you too,” Yuuta replies softly, hugging him even tighter. He’s much taller now, and Toge feels utterly protected like this. He thinks being in Yuuta’s arms might be the best place to be.
Ieiri-san keeps him bedridden for the rest of the day, just in case. Yuuta stays by his side the whole time, chatting quietly about random things while he listens with an adoring grin. When Maki and Panda visit, Maki tells him he looks like a complete sap. Toge can't deny it.
The situation spreads around and soon, everyone in school has heard about them. Gojo-sensei comes in at one point to slap Yuuta's back as a congratulatory gesture, claiming that he knew it. Yuuta blushes heavily at that.
Overall, Toge would rate this experience with the curse a solid negative four out of ten. But he managed to get a boyfriend out of it, so maybe that bumps the score up to a negative two out of ten. Just maybe.
When Yuuta leans in for a kiss—a small, quick peck on his lips before Toge can even register what he's doing—Toge changes his mind yet again. This experience was a ten out of ten. He pulls Yuuta down by the collar of his shirt to kiss him again, grinning widely.