Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Dropping a quick kiss to his mother’s cheek Minho rushes for the stairs leading to his bedroom on the second floor. 

“Night Eomma!”

“Minho! It’s not even nine o’clock yet and you’re going to bed?” His mother’s eyes are wide in mock surprise. “Come watch TV with your Eomma. It’s too early for bed. You’re acting like tonight is special or something.” 

While her smile gives away the teasing nature of her words Minho still found himself huffing in annoyance. The conversation costing him precious sleep. Of course, it was special, today was his sixteenth birthday. Tonight he would dream of his soulmate and in the morning wake up with their first impression of him marked on his skin. He couldn’t wait.

“You’re being mean! You know why I’m going to bed. I want my dream to come. Please let me go!”

A soft chuckle answers him. “I swear the night of the sixteenth birthday is the only day kids will go to bed early. Fine, but hug me first.”

Petulantly he stomps into the living room before wrapping his mother in a hug.

“I’m excited for you too baby. I remember my own dream and waking to your father’s handwriting on my wrist.”

Guilt pokes through his excitement. Tonight he would find his soulmate while his mother’s was gone. His father having died in a car wreck when he was only five leaving him and his mother behind.

The arms around him tighten as if the elder sensed his change in mood. “Stop whatever you’re thinking. Tonight is a night of celebration and so is tomorrow morning.” His mother leans back forcing Minho to look her in the face. “My years with your father were some of the best I’ve ever had. His love gave me you, my most precious gift. You deserve to find your soulmate too. Now go on…go to bed.” The arms holding him shoo him away. “Wake me tomorrow and tell me about your dream! Ooo, I bet your soulmate has pretty handwriting.”

Heat blooms under his skin, her words filling him with happiness. Racing to the stairs again he just remembers to shout “I love you” before taking the steps two at a time. Turning off the light he fumbles his way to bed before crawling under the covers. Having a birthday in October means it gets dark early making it easier to fall asleep. Unfortunately, his anticipation did not help…laying in bed his mind races with thoughts of his soulmate and what his impression could be. 

Everyone has a soulmate and on a person’s sixteenth birthday, they dream of a significant memory from their soulmate’s life. When they wake the first impression they will leave on their soulmate is engraved on their skin in their partner’s handwriting. The best part is that once a person actually sees their soulmate additional impressions and words begin to form while the first one stays the same.

His mother had told him about her own soulmate dream. She’d dreamed of the day his father helped his high school baseball team win their championship game. She described the sunlight streaming on his face, the cheers of the crowd, and the joy raiding from his chest. In the morning she’d woken smiling with the word “kind” scrawled across her wrist. Five years later his father would see her for the first time at the grocery store as she’d helped the elderly man in front of her pay for his groceries after he’d come up short on cash. 

His father, standing in line behind her had watched the whole thing. The next impression that had formed was “lovely”. The word instantly appeared across her collarbone as he’d witnessed her kindness. His mother always cries when she tells the story of turning and meeting his father’s gaze. The first impression she had of the man was “tall’. His father’s height was almost six feet. Unknown to her was that the word “tall” was engraved on the man’s right shoulder blade and had been for seven years. 

His father might be gone but Minho has memories of their love. Flashes of kisses, sweet words, and loving hands tucking him into bed. As he got older his mother had shared stories and pictures of their years dating. His heart couldn’t wait to experience that as well. 

Hours later his body finally crashes from the adrenaline, his eyes drifting shut.

***

Darkness….nothing.

***

The following morning panic grows the moment his eyes open. There had been no dream, no memory waiting for him. Just darkness, an endless black canvas devoid of sound or light.

Throwing himself out of bed he trips in the tangled sheets trying to get to a mirror. Twisting he peels his pajamas off, contorting his body into different shapes as he desperately looks for his impression. Nothing but the smooth expanse of pale skin greets him. Nausea bubbles in his gut as each additional second passes with no sign of his impression. Embarrassment flushes his skin red as he stands in the bathroom, his mother’s makeup mirror stuck between in legs. Maybe his word is tucked in a crevice? There’s nothing.

Sweat pebbles on his skin, his stomach rolling. Hanging over the toilet he collapses against the cold tile. Bile, bitter and hot spills forth. Tears trace down his cheeks joining last night’s birthday dinner in the bowl. A wrecked sob interrupts his retching, echoing around the small room. 

A soft “Minho” comes from the doorway, his mother’s sleepy face peering inside.

“Eomma…” His voice is weak, broken from his cries. 

Gentle arms embrace him pulling his shaking body into warmth and comfort.

“My baby, what’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream? Was the memory…a bad one?”

Every muscle freezes at her question. A whine, high and painful rips free from his chest.

“No Eomma….there- there was no dream. I don’t have a mark.” Pushing away from the warmth holding him he looks into his mother’s eyes. Eyes filled with fear and heartbreak blink back at him.

“Eomma. I don’t have a soulmate.”

*****

“PSST! Felix! You asleep?”

“Damn it Jisung, if I was asleep I sure as shit wouldn’t be now!”

The sharp retort from his best friend has him burrowing under the covers. The last thing he wanted to do was piss off his closest friend. “I’m sorry. It’s nothing…forget it.”

A heavy sigh comes from next to him, soon a small hand is clasping his own. 

“I’m sorry Sungie…I‘d almost drifted off. I didn’t mean to snap at you. What’s wrong? Why aren’t you asleep?”

Pressure constricts his chest, anxiety and fear settling in like termites to a new home. 

Fuck! He’d annoyed Felix for the final time. Had woken him up and now he was going to leave. The younger surely didn’t want to be here anyways. Today had been Jisung’s sixteenth birthday but tomorrow was Felix’s. He probably wants to be at his home instead of sleeping over at the Han’s. Sure he’d volunteered to spend the night and read Jisung’s impression to him in the morning but that was just him being nice. Cause that was Felix…the nicest person alive. Kind and friendly to everyone. Jisung is his charity case…

A forehead pushes against him as arms encircle him, warm hands begin stroking his back. Felix’s Australian-accented Korean breaks through his panicked thoughts.

“Sung-ah…take a deep breath. It’s ok, everything will be fine. You’re safe, I’m safe. We’re in your bed, at your house. Match your breathing with mine. In- one, two, three. Out- one, two, three…Just like that.”

Matching his breath to the other’s the veil of panic lifts freeing his mind and body from its vice grip. Tender lips press against his cheek.

“There we go Sungie…that’s better. Are you back?”

His vocal cords feel raw as if he’d been screaming through his silence. “Yeah. I’m back…thanks. I was spiraling fast.”

The lips against his cheek open wide in a grin. “Good! That’s my job as your best friend. Are you feeling up to talking about it?”

Snuggling closer to the body next to him a deep breath escapes and finally, it feels like he could breathe again. “About my panic attack or why I’m still awake?”

“How about both?”

Shame fights its way to the front of his mind. God, I’m so weak!

“Jisung, I can literally hear your brain turning. Don’t overthink it…just tell me what’s up?”

Another deep breath. One, two, three. “Ok. The panic was just the usual. I’m a loser, no one likes me. You will leave me. I’m a burden to everyone.”

The body next to him goes stiff, the arms holding him squeeze tighter. He continued before Felix could interrupt. “Yes, I know none of it’s true. I’m not a burden, you are my best friend and you want to be here. My heart knows it…but my head, eh, it takes a bit more convincing.”

Lips kiss his cheek again. “Ok, I’m glad you know I want to be here. You’re my best friend in the world Jisung. Tonight is your special night! The day of your soulmate dream. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. And tomorrow night when I have mine, I can only think of one person I want to share it with.”

“The actor Gong Yoo?” Silence answers him.

“Ok, make that two people. But you’re number one on the list!”

The laughter ringing in his room is the best medicine. Laughing with Felix makes his heart light, makes the weight of his anxiety seem insignificant.

“I wouldn’t want anyone else here either Lix.”

“Sungie, you explained one thing. Now why can’t you sleep.”

A whine slips from his throat. If there was any space left between the two he would scoot even closer. This was the big question. Be strong.

“I’m scared. Scared to sleep…to dream. To wake up with my impression.” Tears tickle the back of his eyes. “I’m scared I won’t have a soulmate. That- that someone like me isn’t supposed to find a partner. Or that if I do have a soulmate…I’m scared of what my impression will be. What if I wake up tomorrow and you tell me the word is…” His bravery runs out. His mouth refused to form the syllables. But of course, Felix would know the word he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“Blind?”

His heart sinks. There it is…his disability. His shortcoming presented to the world for everyone but him to see. “Yeah, Lix. That’s it. I’m scared the first impression my soulmate has of me is that I’m blind. That the word will be permanently tattooed on my forehead. Who am I kidding Felix! Of course, my impression will be blind. As if anyone thinks differently when they first see me. Unless they think pathetic first. OUCH!!” The sharp pinch to his arm has him jerking from Felix’s hold.

“You deserved that. Enough with the negative attitude.”

Jisung doesn’t need eyesight to know his friend is glaring daggers at him. “Fine, fine. Sorry. I can’t help it sometimes. You know that.”

A warm hand traces the features of his face. Looking forward Jisung tries to focus his eyes in the direction he assumes his friend’s head is. “Regardless of your first impression, your soulmate will love you. They have no choice. You’re too sweet and funny and smart for there to be any other option. No matter what they think of you the first time they see you. They are the person put on this earth for you and no one else. You know the saying…”

A shoulder bumps him and they both said in unison. “Fate will find a way.”

“Exactly Jisung. The universe or fate or God or whatever sees fit to assign us soulmates. No matter the distance, language, or even disability your person is waiting.”

“But-“

“This is your last “but” and then we’re going to sleep! What is it?”

He couldn’t help the smile taking over his face, was sure the other could hear it in his voice. Felix has the patience of a saint. “What if I don’t have a soulmate? What if I don’t dream?”

The groan his friend lets out at this question was the loudest he’d been all night. “Dude. You already have an incredibly rare genetic trait making you blind. Do you really think the universe would also skip you in the soulmate lineup? Do you have any idea how rare it is to not have a soulmate?”

“I do actually. One in five hundred thousand and the universe has fucked me twice already. Did you forget I went deaf for a week? Being blind and deaf even temporarily was the most terrified I’ve ever been. I don’t know how Hellen Keller did that shit. So, excuse me for thinking that fate has it out for me. Fate denied me my sight and once took away my hearing. I could see life being so cruel as to deny me my perfect match.”

The man next to him scoffs. “You’re such a worry-wart. Of course, you know the actual statistic.” Fingers comb through his hair. “Whatever happens. Dream or no dream. Tomorrow when you wake up, you’ll have me. You have a soulmate out there…but I was here first. We can get through anything together. Ok?”

***

The wail of a siren screams in the background. Bright white lights blind him, his eyes burning. A stabbing pain lances through his gut. He tries to sit up but the pain is too intense, he can’t move. A raging fire is burning in his abdomen from the inside out. Briefly, his vision clears. A pair of eyes look back at him. “You’ll be ok! We’re almost at the hospital.” Lifting his left arm takes every ounce of his strength but a pale shaky hand enters his vision. Splashes of a liquid substance covers his skin, dripping down his wrist. The picture around him begins to shake, looking down he realizes it’s him shaking. His chest seizing. The same voice from before gets louder. “He’s going into shock! We need another pint of O-negative. Call ahead and tell them he’s critical.” Critical?!? Was he dying? Another wave of pain crashes over him. The edges of reality turn black, slipping away. The last sound he hears is a rhythmic high-pitched beep dropping to a single steady high-pitched note. Beeeeeeeep.

***

“NOOOOOOOOO!” 

Propelled forward from his dream Jisung scrambles upright. His hands clammy with sweat he frantically pats his chest down to his abdomen. His skin is intact, there’s no wound or pain. Fuck, it was a dream. His soulmate dream!! 

“Suuungie…” Felix’s voice slurred with sleep brings him back to reality.

“Lix! Lix! Wake up! I had my dream! O my God it was crazy.”

“Oh Shit!” 

The sheets covering his legs get torn away as a thud sounds next to his bed.

“Felix? Are you ok? What happened?”

Giggles answer him from the floor. Crawling to the side of the bed he puts his feet over standing up. Tapping with his toes he manages to find his friend spread-eagle on the floor.

“Hey! You ok?”

“Yeah, man! I’m good. Got so excited I fell out of bed.”

“Well if you’re fine and no bones are broken, get your ass up and look for my impression.”

“Oh my God yes! This is it.”

Strong hands grab his arm pulling him towards the center of the room. The sound of the light switch flicking on makes his ears twitch.

“Well, the good news is that it’s not on your forehead like you thought.”

“Do you see it? What does it say?” His voice cracked with his last question. Stress has his nerves frayed. What does it say? What does it say?

“Sung, I can’t see it. Take your shirt off.” In a flash, his shirt is off and tossed vaguely in the direction he knew his bed to be. “Ok! And?”

The shuffling sound of feet against carpet as Felix circles him has his anxiety creeping higher. 

“It’s not here either. Take your pants off!”

“Damn it!” Grabbing the elastic of his sleep pants he shoves the material down stepping from the legs of the pants. “Anything?”

“Lift your feet, let me see your soles.”

Fear sits on his chest like a boulder, his breathing picking up in speed from panic. There has to be an impression. The dream was too lucid and real, it was definitely a memory. Soft hands lift an ankle forcing his leg up behind him. First the left one and then the right.

“Jisung.” His friend’s voice sounds worried. “It’s not here. I’m gonna regret this but fuck it. Pull down your boxers.”

This was it. His last layer. What if there’s no mark? Could it be on his scalp? Hesitantly he tugs at the soft fabric of his underwear. The loose waistline slipping off, he feels the cotton fall to the floor resting on the tops of his feet. The seconds stretched like hours as Felix walks from in front of him to behind. The ticking from the clock in the hallway echoes like a funeral dirge.

“Pfft!” A loud snort sounds behind him, the sound of his friend collapsing to the floor has him turning around.

“What?!? Felix? Where is it? What does say?” His anxiety flips to anger as his best friend lays on the floor laughing so hard Jisung can hear Felix’s lungs struggling for oxygen.

“Yongbok! I swear to God if you don’t answer me!”

The gasps for air finally lighten up. “Man, not my Korean name. That’s low.”

“Seriously Felix, you’re killing me here.”

“Fine, fine. Don’t get your undies in a bunch.” Another giggle escapes. “It ah…well. It’s right here.”

His body involuntarily jumps a bit when he feels the brush of a finger across the top swell of his right butt cheek. 

“The handwriting is nice. It’s pretty legible and neat, maybe slightly feminine looking.”

Feminine? Dread plummets like a stone to his belly.

“What does it say?”

“It says…cheeks.” The man’s laughter returns.

“Cheeks? As in…my face?” Quickly he brings his hands up pushing at the soft skin of his face. Obviously, he’d never seen them but plenty of people (Felix included) had complimented his moist and youthful complexion. Are his cheeks really noticeable enough to be the first impression his soulmate has of him? A hand claps him on the back.

“Alright, I’ve seen enough of your dick and ass for a lifetime. Put some clothes on and tell me about the dream.”

Scrambling for his boxers and pants he gets them back on. “Felix. You think the impression is about my face yeah?”

“I should hope so man. Your butt is nice and all but I’m fairly certain the placement is inconsequential. I can see why he would notice them first. Clearly, he is going to see your face and your squishy cheeks are very noticeable.”

The words squishy cheeks are emphasized with palms smushing his cheeks into a fish pout. Slapping the hands away Jisung feels around for the mattress of his bed. Finding it he moves to the floor resting his back against the frame.

“At least it’s better than blind.”

Legs press up against his on the floor. “Told you that wasn’t going to be their first impression of you. But I might die of old age if you don’t tell me about the dream soon.”

“Oh my gosh! I can’t believe I forgot. Felix…I saw. I could see!”

“No fucking way! What did you see?”

“Um, it was pretty chaotic and only lasted a few seconds. But it was in first person and I’m pretty sure I or they were in an ambulance. I could hear the siren and o God there was so much pain. It felt like my insides were burning…they were hurt? I lifted my hand and there was blood on it. I think. Oh wait! What color is blood?”

“Red! Jisung, blood is red.”

“Holy shit…I saw red. I saw the color red.” Tears warm and wet flow unbidden from him. Leaning over he tucks his head into the younger man’s chest. “Lix, I know what a color looks like now.”

“Jesus, Sungie. It never occurred to me that with your soulmate’s memory would come vision. I can’t imagine what it was like. Seeing for the first time. What a gift.”

A choked combination of a sob and a laugh comes from him. “It was fucking bright!”

Safe in his friend’s arms his mind replays the memory. He hopes his soulmate, wherever they are had recovered from the incident.

“Congratulations! Now we just wait for fate to bring you two together.”

***

The following morning.

***

Harsh hands shake him from his dream of piano music mixed with the sweet twinkle of birds in the background.

“Jisung wake up! I just had my dream.”

Sluggishly his brain registers the other’s words. The dream!

“What is it? Where is it?”

Felix pulls his hand forward. 

“Here, it’s vertical on my neck.”

His fingers graze the other’s earlobe before being guided south along the side of his neck. 

“It says…home. And my dream, it was beautiful. I saw the ocean. They were setting in the sand watching the waves crash in. It lasted long enough for me to realize they were crying. I guess they wiped their tears off and looked down because I saw their hands and a leg. I’m pretty sure I saw leg hair and there is no way those hands belonged to a girl. My soulmate is a boy!”

Jealously is a monster and its name is Jisung. “You’re certain it’s a guy? Damn, I wish I knew about mine. What if it’s a girl?”

“Didn’t you say you saw their arm? What did it look like? Was it masculine?”

“I- I’m not sure. I don’t know what a masculine arm looks like. I didn’t pay a lot of attention. I was more distracted by the blood.”

“I don’t know how to describe the difference to you. I’m positive your’s is a guy too. There’s no way you’re into guys yet the universe assigns you a hetero soulmate. It wouldn’t make sense.”

Pouting he rolls over pulling the sheets above his head. “I hope you’re right but I’m still jealous.”

“Why?”

Sniffling Jisung tries to fight back the tears of envy. “Because! Home is so much cooler than cheeks.

Laughter fills the room.

*******

Two years later…

“Seriously Jisung quit squirming or I might accidentally poke your eye out. How am I supposed to give you a gentle smokey eye under these conditions? Keep it up and you’ll be looking like a raccoon.”

Years of friendship have Jisung snapping his spine perfectly still. Felix did not make empty threats. “Need I remind you that putting on makeup was your idea. I was perfectly fine going to class bare faced before you stepped in.”

Minty breath ruffles his bangs as Felix sighs in frustration. Hands tilt his face up before a soft brush begins to stroke over his closed eyelids. Extensive experience as Felix’s living Barbie doll has taught him to relax his face and not flinch with unseen contact.

“You might’ve been fine with it but there is no way I’m letting you attend your first day of Uni unprepared to meet your soulmate. What if they’re in your first class? It would be so romantic. You walk into class, the poor blind kid tripping over a poorly placed bag. Then BAM out of nowhere strong arms grab you saving you from smashing your face on the floor. It’s silent…you could hear a pin drop. Then the deepest most handsome voice you’ve ever heard whispers…cheeks. And there you have it. You’ve met your soulmate and not only is he in awe of your soft squishy cheeks but also your perfect smokey eye, loving applied by your best friend Felix.”

Jisung's mouth was hanging open in a horridly unattractive manner but frankly, he was stunned. “Wow….just wow. I don’t know how to reply to that. First of all, you have GOT to stop reading so much BTS fan fiction. That was straight cheese you were spewing. And second “the poor blind kid”? What alternate universe are you living in where I am the main character? That’s your job Mr. Tall, thin, and handsome.”

“Please, how would you know if I’m handsome or not?”

Leaning forward he moves so he can roll his eyes in the direction of his friend. “You act as if we haven’t known each other for years. I swear since your sixteenth birthday you've had no less than ten people approach you every day asking about your impression of them. And then they are all heartbroken when it doesn’t match. If that didn’t give it away then my mother telling me over and over how we should have been soulmates so I could marry someone so pretty would have done it.”

“Aww, your mom thinks I’m pretty?”

“Really? That is your takeaway? I take it back! You’re hideous and we both know it.”

“Please, let’s not even pretend that is true. Now hold still this is the last part.”

Going still he relaxes his facial muscles. This was taking forever and if they didn’t finish soon they would both be late for their first day of classes. The cloying smell of artificial strawberry fills his nose, forcing him to jerk back. “Oh hell no! No lip gloss! I am drawing the line.”

“But Sungiiiiie! It’s the finishing touch. Your eyes are a masterpiece, they will draw your soulmate in. Next, we have to polish off your lips so they will want to kiss you and complete the soulmate bond!”

Pushing Felix away, he stands creating distance between the two. “Absolutely not. You know I can’t stand that stuff. It makes my lips sticky. I always end up licking it off and then my tongue feels gross and covered in wax. Not this time Lix. Besides the first thing they notice are my cheeks. Not my eyes or lips. If they want to kiss and complete the soulmate bond they will do it regardless of how juicy that crap makes them look.” 

“Ugh fine! If you refuse to let me help you then we’re done here. Your bag is by the door, and your guide cane is next to it on the side table.” 

He smiles as he listens to his friend walk out of his room and into the common area separating the two bedrooms. They’d gotten lucky as far as dorm assignments go. His disability finally came in handy landing them a room in the newest dorm building on campus. The first floor room was twice the size of the average room with separate roommate suites for each of them. Who knew SN University had recently committed to expanding its handicapped accessibility program?

The University was surprisingly helpful and willing to accommodate his needs. The administration had even allowed them to move in a week early so Jisung could begin memorizing the layout of the apartment and campus. Felix had helped him the first three days but now he was able to move around the space without bumping into furniture or breaking his face on a wall. The sprawling campus had taken longer, but he is confident in his ability to get to his classes by himself.

Stepping from his room he walks to the door grabbing his laptop bag and guide stick on the way. They were exactly where Felix had said they would be. Truly he was blessed with a saint masquerading as his friend. Being blind hadn’t prevented him from living a full life. He had hobbies, studied music, and now lived on his own, but the ease with which he was able to function was a direct result of his closest companion. Years of therapy and anxiety medicine helped him overcome his crushing guilt of being a burden on his family and friends. Most days he feels like any other freshman college student scared of class workloads, and pop quizzes and desperate to meet his soulmate. Not surprisingly more soulmates are united during their college years than any other age group. This could be it!

The sound of annoyed footsteps pulls him to the present. Felix must still be throwing a tantrum over the lip gloss.

“And one more thing. Your eyes are your best feature. I expect a thank you after you meet your soulmate and his second impression of you is best eyes ever.”

Rolling said eyes he pulls the door open stepping outside followed closely by the other. Whipping his guide cane out he turns left taking off in the direction of the music buildings. It would be pointless to invite his friend along, Felix already declaring he’d walk Jisung to his first class. “What the hell do you mean my eyes are my best feature. They are useless Lix.”

“Quit being obstinate. They are big, beautiful, and crazy expressive. Just because they don’t show you anything doesn’t mean they’re useless to others. How do you think I always know when you’re lying? Your eyes give away everything you’re thinking.”

Jisung stops without warning causing Felix to collide with his back. “Are you serious? The traitorous bastards! Can’t show me shit but give all my secrets away!” He huffs before taking off again. “They’re lucky I don’t pluck them out.”

“Oh yeah cause that would help with the whole don’t stare at me because I’m blind routine. Instead, you’d be explaining to people how you pack gauze into your empty eye sockets every night. Oh wait…I just had an idea. Hypothetically speaking, could a person fuck an eye-“

“No stop it! Stop it right there, we are not having a discussion about fucking my empty eye sockets!”

“It was hypothetical! Not necessarily yours!”

“I cannot with you. Please shut up.”

“I will but only because we’re at your building. You need the second floor correct?”

Thank God! Somewhere in the midst of the most ridiculous conversation the pair had ever had (and that was saying something) they’d made it to the music wing on campus. Pushing on the door he’s greeted with the oddly comforting scent of old carpet and dust.

Five minutes and a jittery elevator ride later Felix helps him count the number of classes separating him from the elevator they’d exited.

“Alright. Looks like you pass six doors before you reach your classroom. Mind if I walk in with you?”

“Lix, I love you but no. This is close enough. The dance building is ten minutes in the opposite direction, you need to leave if you want to get there on time.”

“Ok, ok. I’ll leave. Don’t forget to talk to your professor about the testing situation, and make sure you play the soulmate game when people talk to you. Remember, it’s rude to tell people your personal engraved mark, you have to tell them the impression they give you.”

Close enough to reach he strikes out slapping the other in the arm. “Thanks Mom, I’m well aware of the appropriate social behavior when asking if someone is my soulmate. Now go!”

Seeking to escape further pandering he rushes forward towards the sound of students bustling around the classroom. Gentle taps with his cane guided him to the first row of chairs.

“Ah you must be Han Jisung. I’m Professor Kim.”

Swiftly he lowers his head making sure his eyes are pointed somewhere near the ground rather than at the man in front of him. Despite Felix's assertion that they were beautiful, he'd been told more than once that his unfocused gaze wandering around unseen faces and bodies made people uncomfortable. 

He'd even been slapped once by a stranger accusing him of staring at her while he ate his ice cream in an "indecent manner". Too stunned to do anything but cup his swollen cheek Felix had made it worse by loudly declaring that a person should be able to practice deep-throating in public without being assaulted. He'd cried while Felix had fumed.

"Yes, sir that's me. The cane give it away?”

The man chuckles softly. "Just a bit but your admission counselor also sent a photo out so myself and the other professors could recognize you. It goes without saying but you're the music school's first student with your condition.”

Anxiety knocks on the back door of his mind threatening to enter. They had sent out photos? Damn it. He could envision the email already.

Have you seen this lost blind boy? Call XXX-XXX-XXX

God, this is embarrassing. "Uh yes sir, I was aware that I’m the first.”

"Perfect! Sight or not, you should know a number of us in the department were very impressed with the samples you sent with your application. We have high expectations for you here. Don’t consider the accommodations we make as taking it easy on you. You will have the same course load and assignments as every other student.”

In a microsecond his anxiety is gone, replaced with a flood of gratitude and pride. His music had impressed them. Professors at one of the best music schools in South Korea had liked his songs. Now his only concern was keeping his smile under control, Professor Kim continued speaking.

"The department has assigned a graduate student of mine to assist you this year. He will be the one administering any tests and taking your responses. Like you, Chan also majored in music composition. He’s to help with all your music courses so get to know him well. His name is Christopher Bang but he goes by Chan. Once he arrives he'll come find you, don't worry, I also showed him your photo.”

"Yes sir, thank you sir." Thinking the conversation over he moves to sit at a desk.

"Oh wait! Last thing. There are several assignments requiring student collaboration. I've already assigned each student a partner. The list was posted at the door requesting you all to sit together. Your partner is a... hold on let me look.”

The sudden silence around him signals that most of the class has arrived by now. He feels his cheeks warming from the embarrassment of standing at the front with the teacher. This is one way to make an impression if my soulmate is here.

"Ah!" 

Professor Kim's loud exclamation has him flinching away.

"Here it is. Your partner is a Seo Changbin.”

A soft "present" comes from behind them.

"Perfect! Changbin can you move your seat down here please? Thanks.”

Murmurs erupt around them. Words whispered behind hands but still loud enough for him to make out.

"Who is that?" 

"Why is he up front?"

"Is that a cane? Like for blind people? Oh my God is he…"

A solid wall of muscled man brushes against him breaking his concentration. A heavy hand rests on his elbow.

"Hey man, I'm Seo Changbin. Guess we're partners, let's sit.”

Polite manners were the only thing preventing him from ripping his arm out of the other's grasp. He knew Changbin was guiding him to a seat out of kindness but it wasn't necessary.

The professor's voice rings out silencing anyone still talking.

"Alright, class let's get started! Welcome to Non-linear Lyric Strategies in Music Composition. I'll be passing around a copy of the class syllabus which is also available online. Please make sure..."

The rest of the words are drowned out when a muscled arm presses against his. Jesus, how ripped is this dude? It felt like a brick wall was leaning on him. 

The man whispers from next to him. "Hey, so what's your name?”

Inching over he tries unsuccessfully to create room between the two of them. "It's Jisung.”

"Sweet! I was worried for a moment that I didn't have a partner. Nice to meet you.”

Jisung's heart has started to slow down. When had it begun racing? Changbin was being friendly and didn't seem bothered by having a blind partner assigned to him. He smiles at the man next to him before trying to tune back into the teacher’s words.

"I hope we get along this semester. I promise to work hard and to not hold you back.”

Forgetting about the class he looks at his neighbor feeling incredulous. Lowering his voice. "Are you serious? You've been assigned a blind person for a partner and you’re worried about holding me back?”

Changbin's voice could be described as sheepish. "Yeah of course. This school is really hard to get into. I was wait-listed last year and just managed to squeak in this time after someone dropped out. You already have to be talented to get in and you did it blind. Shesh... you must be some kind of genius.”

Jisung knew his face and ears were burning all seven shades of red as tears threatened to escape. His emotions were going crazy today. was everyone in University this accepting? 

"Thanks, Changbin. I'm sure you’re better than you give yourself credit for. I think we'll get along just fine.”

Felix's advice from earlier comes to him. "Play the soulmate game." Could this man be?

Leaning closer he works to speak even softer, the arm touching his scrunching down farther as well. 

“Um... Changbin."

“Yeah..."

“My ah- my first impression of you was muscles, from when you brushed up against me.”

"Oh the soulmate game! My muscles? That’s flattering but I met my soulmate last week at orientation. So it's not me.”

A spike of anxiety shoots through him. Shit, this is embarrassing. How do so many people work up the courage to ask Felix?

“Oh sorry, I hope I didn’t-“ He wasn’t allowed to finish his sentence.

“No need to be sorry man. We’re supposed to ask. How else are you gonna know right?”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Curiosity prompts the next question. He’d never meet someone his age who’d just met their soulmate. “So... ah... What was it like?”

A flushed hand grabs his wrist in excitement. “Jisung it was incredible. I saw him and my whole chest got warm. He’s movie star pretty and I was terrified to talk to him. Every time I went to approach him someone was already there playing the soulmate game. I waited forever but he never got free. Eventually, I gave up, I figured fate finds a way and that maybe this was a sign.”

Even knowing that the two had ultimately met Jisung found himself hanging off Changbin’s every word.

“Before leaving orientation I went to the bathroom. Here I am minding my own business going pee when the bathroom door slams open and the guy walks in! He takes one look at me…and yes my dick is still out at this point. He takes one look and just says his first impression of me.”

It’s an odd social norm but it’s considered rude to ask a person what their engraved impression is until after they’ve met their soulmate.

“What was it? What was your impression?” Changbin giggles.

“Thighs.”

He blinks a couple of times. “Thighs?”

“Yep! Apparently when he walked in the first thing he saw was my thighs and they made quite the impression.”

“Wow! That’s fate for you. Then what happened?”

“Hold on Professor Kim is looking over….”

Anticipation had his knees bouncing.

“Sorry. Ok… anyways. I put my dick away and washed my hands. Then before anyone else could come in I told him my first impression of him. It was prince charming.”

“Prince charming, really?”

“I know it sounds lame but he’s handsome and looks like a prince from a Disney movie. If Disney was smart enough to have a Korean prince that is. He’s tall with long bleached blond hair. He had it tied up in a man bun. Anyways, it turns out that that was his soulmate impression. The words go around his ankle where mine is on my ribs.”

“Changbin that’s awesome! I’m jealous. My friend Felix and I’ve been walking around campus for a week mapping it out, hoping that one of us would run into our soulmate. He’s been checking my skin every night for a second impression.”

“That’s smart. I hadn’t thought about how you’d be able to tell if they’d seen you or not. I mean, I always knew there were blind people in the world, it just never occurred to me how they find their soulmate ya know? I suppose you could go around kissing random people to see if the soulmate bond forms but I don’t think that’s realistic, or hygienic.”

“I get it. Being blind is pretty rare, I wouldn’t have thought of it either if I were in your shoes. What was your second impression? How long did it take to appear?”

“Ummm. I noticed it about fifteen minutes later I think. The word strong popped up on my bicep.”

“Strong? Really?” He couldn’t hide the sarcastic edge to his words. “I’m sensing a theme.”

“Hey man, I’m lucky my soulmate has a strength kink. He loves it when I throw him around.”

Waving his arms in front of him he sits up in surrender. “I tap out. I do not need to hear anymore.”

The man laughs quietly. “I won’t give any details. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you find yours.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely! We’re already partners, might as well be friends and help each other out.”

It would be lame to admit his heart squeezed a little at the word friend. Before he could respond there was a tap on his left shoulder.

“Hello. Are you Han Jisung?”

Pulling himself away from Changbin he becomes aware of the sounds of people packing up and leaving. Had they talked for the entire class?

“Yes, I am. Are you Chan?”

“That’s me! Sorry, I’m late. I wanted to be here at the start of that class but my roommate locked himself out of the apartment and I had to go back.”

“It’s completely fine Chan.” He turned to the seat on his right. “This is Changbin, he’s my partner for collaborations and we ended up talking the entire time. We missed the whole class anyways. Changbin this is Chan. He is going to be helping me with my classes this semester.”

The graduate student jumped in quickly. “Not helping as in doing his work but helping as in facilitating any accommodations he needs to complete the work. And please both of you can call me Hyung.”

“Sweet a graduate student? Jisung that’s pretty cool.”

“It was unexpected but I appreciate you being open to helping me Hyung. I shouldn’t need much but knowing I have someone I can rely on will be nice.”

“I’m happy to help and the school offered me credit towards my master's program for it so I can’t complain. Uh... since I have you both here and we just met. My first impression of you Jisung was your eyes and Changbin it was-”

“Ah sorry Hyung. No need for me, I meet mine last week. Sungie… is that your soulmate impression? Your eyes?”

Disappointment smothers his good mood. It was way too soon to lose hope but he couldn’t help but wonder when he would run into his mate. Two people down… eight billion to go. “I’m sorry Chan but that’s not mine.”

“Eh, it’s fine really. At this point, I’ve been asking for so long I figure I won’t know what to do if I ever meet them.”

Changbin interrupts. “It’s easy Hyung you just kiss em! Seals the bond and all.”

Giving his new friend his best attempt at a side eye Jisung spoke up again. “I’m sorry Hyung, I’m sure they’re closer than you think. It’s only fair that I should share mine though. My first impression was of your accent. It’s light but I can still pick it out.”

“Ha! You picked up on it? Korean is my second language after English. I grew up in Australia and moved here when I was thirteen.”

“No way! My best friend Felix is from there too. He moved here when he was ten. It’s been almost nine years but he still has a slight accent as well. That’s probably how I picked it out.” Changbin’s meaty arm falls across Jisung’s shoulder. “It’s like you two were supposed to meet. Chan are you coming to Jisung’s next class? I think we both have a History of K-pop.”

“I can’t sorry, I have my own Music Theory course. Let’s meet afterward and we can get lunch together. Hyung’s treat yeah? We can discuss everything then.”

Gathering his bag and cane he stands to follow Changbin out. “That works for me Hyung. We’ll meet you outside of class and walk together.”

*****

"You two grab us a table. I'm going to order our lunch sets.”

"Thanks Hyung! I see a table in the corner, met us there. Jisung do you want to hold on to me?”

The question was more of a demand as a hand tightens around his wrist directing Jisung through the messy layout of the cafeteria. The sound of drinks opening, friends laughing and even a few people playing the soulmate game surround him. Senses overwhelmed by the crowd he finds himself thankful for Changbin leading him. Jisung can't see them but his body and mind can sense how crowded the room is. Changbin helps him find a seat when the ding of a text tone pings next to him.

"That's Hyunjin, he says he's almost here. Oooh, he's bringing a friend from class. Will your roommate Felix be able to find you?”

"I think so. I sent him a message telling him I was here so, I think we’re good.”

"That voice-to-text app must come in handy.”

"It's nice. Technology helps a lot, I can't picture living without my phone at this point. You know banks even have debit cards with special groves? That way I never use the wrong card.”

"Huh? No, I didn't." A shove to his shoulder jostles him. "They're here! God Hyunjin is so hot, I can't believe someone like him is my soulmate. And damn his friend is fine too. Jeez, are all dance majors hot or something? Maybe this guy could be yours.”

The body next to him starts wiggling, Jisung figures Changbin is waving the two over. 

"That hot huh? What's he look like?”

"Well, he's got long legs. Kinda on the thin side for a guy. His hair is medium length and it's dyed a lavender-silver mix I think. But wow! He has freckles all over his nose and cheeks. So freaking cute.”

Throwing his head back he roars with laughter. "I promise that is not my soulmate, I'm one hundred percent sure that's Felix, he's a dance major too.”

A lithe body plows into his side. "Sungie! You're here!”

He looked to where Changbin had been sitting. "Yep! That's him.”

A light new voice speaks up. "Felix, is this your friend?”

"This is him! My Jisungie! And is this Changbin your soulmate?”

"Hi! I'm sorry for not introducing myself. Yeah, I'm Changbin and Hyunjin's my mate. It's funny we've all met each other already. Sung is in two of my classes so far and we're partners in one of them. Jisung, in front of you and a little to the right is Hyunjin.”

A hand takes his and squeezes. "It's nice to meet you. Felix told me all about you during warm-up today.”

"Don't worry Sungie. I only told him good things. Nothing about the time you sat on super glue in art class and had to be cut out of your pants. How was your first class?”

The sweet tilt to Felix's voice would make anyone think he was an angel, Jisung knew better. "I will smother you in your sleep tonight Lix.”

A raspberry was blown at him before sloppy lips pressed against his cheek. "Gotta find my room first blind boy!”

Changbin and Hyunjin inhale sharply at the comment. To an outsider, their teasing might seem rude but they'd been friends for so long it didn't matter.

"Well, you snore so loud I couldn't possibly miss it. OW! That hurt. No pinching!”

"I don’t-"

Chan's voice freezes Felix's retort in his throat. "Lunch sets are ordered, there's a ten-minute wait. Why are we pinching my dongsaeng?”

Jisung feels Felix's face pull away from his turning towards the newcomer.

"He deserves- o..." 

Silence overtakes the group as they wait for Felix to finish the sentence but it never comes. Changbin's hand clamps down on Jisung’s arm pressing tightly. What's going on? Why is no one talking? The answer comes in the form of Chan's shaky voice.

"I'm Christopher Bang and you-you remind me of home.”

His lungs stop moving while his body freezes. Home? Was Chan talking to Felix? That's Felix's impression!? A twisted thorn of jealousy takes root when he realizes what’s happening.

A sob breaks out... "I'm Felix and you're gorgeous.”

Cool air meets his skin as Felix leaves his side to fall into the arms of his soulmate. Squeals of delight ring around him while a brutal war wages inside. On one side he is deliriously happy for his closest friend on the other fear. Will Felix leave him now? Abandon Jisung for Chan? His perfect match. What if Jisung never finds his? Spends the rest of his life blindly stumbling around the rubble of his soul, searching for his missing link. 

Changbin, still attached to Jisung’s arm shakes him back in forth. The man’s loud voice shouts the words he needs to hear. "Fate always finds a way! This is so cool. I've never witnessed someone finding their soulmate.”

A smile cracks Jisung’s face driven by relief and unconditional happiness for the new couple. Fate will find a way. My chance will come. 

Time stretches while Jisung waits for Felix and Chan to join them at the table. A needy moan comes from his best friend sending all the blood in his body to his ears. Head snapping to Changbin "Are they…"

The man has the nerve to laugh. "Yeah...they skipped the bonding kiss and have moved to a full-on make-out. Keep your head turned this way, hopefully, they resurface by the time our food gets here. I'm hungry.”

A thin body sculpted with lean muscles presses against Jiisung's back sandwiching him between the two. Hyunjin’s breath blows across his ear, "Binnie, you're always hungry.”

*****

A knock at the door has Jisung popping his earbuds out. “Felix?"

"Hey Sungie, can I come in?”

Sitting up he pauses the nature documentary he’s listening to before patting the open space on his bed. 

The mattress dips as the younger crawls into his space. Snuggling close he latches on to Felix pressing his face under his friend’s chin.

Guilt over his negative thoughts from lunch has been plaguing him all day. The emotions preventing him from joining his friends for dinner, even though Chan had been kind enough to order fried chicken to their dorm room in celebration. 

Blessedly Felix speaks first.

"What's going on in my Sungie's head tonight? You've been quiet since lunch.”

The guilt increases. It’s pointless to try and hide it now, the other knows him too well.

"I'm sorry if I ruined your dinner with Chan." His words sound strangled in his throat. "I'm happy for you Lixie. I really am.”

Kisses sprinkle his face. "Aww my Sungie. You're incapable of ruining anything. I could tell you were feeling down but I enjoyed having my best friend and soulmate together with me. I think I can guess why you're upset.”

“Really?"

"Let me try." A finger boops his nose. "I'm thinking that you're feeling conflicted. Torn between excitement for me but also fear because what if our friendship changes? I’m also willing to bet there's some guilt there too, guilt at having felt the fear.”

Jisung feels like an exposed nerve. “Ughh how do you always know?”

Felix sighs before holding him tighter. "Because that's how I feel whenever I think about you finding your soulmate Sungie. We were soulmates first in our own way. Totally platonic cause even the thought of you sticking your dick in me makes me want to puke.”

A shiver wracks him. "Hell no, that's disgusting.”

"See! You feel the same. But seriously, I think it’s normal to be happy for each other but also a bit scared of the change. You’re important to me and I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I hope you know that. I promise nothing will change just because I've met my soulmate. I told Chan all of this too before he left. He understands you and I are a packaged deal.”

Felix stops him before his mouth is fully open.

"And no you are not a burden! You're my best friend and my first soulmate.”

No amount of blinking can hold Jisung’s tears back. "You always know exactly what I'm thinking." Fingers swipe at the drops sliding down his cheeks.

"I told you already...it's your eyes. Dead giveaway.”

"Lix. What was the kiss like? The soul bond?" The man in his arms giggles shyly before squirming away. Their feet rub against each other like they used to do for warmth during sleepovers.

"I don't know how to describe it. It was- was like every cell in my body was pointing in a single direction. Towards him. I couldn't have told you my name if you'd asked. The only thing my brain could do was think his name over and over. Christopher. Chris. Chan. It was like a part of me had been missing for years but I never noticed it until he filled the empty space. His lips were warm too... warmer than normal I guess. It burned a little when we first kissed.”

Now Jisung wasn't the only one crying. Carefully he found the other's face wiping at the tears. It was clumsy and he moves slowly to assure he doesn't poke an eye out by mistake.

"That sounds amazing Lix. What about your second impression? Has it come in yet?”

"I forgot to tell you." With no warning he was met with a sharp jab in the gut from an elbow as the other rushed to sit up.

"Sorry! I wanted to show you with your hand. Gimme!”

A small hand drags his large one over pressing it against the man’s side near his ribcage. “It’s faded a tiny bit but his second impression of me was freckles.” Jisung’s hand was then moved to the man’s collarbone. “And here it says sunshine. I asked and Channie said it’s because of my smile.”

Jisung makes a show of gagging over the side of the bed.

“Stop! It was sweet. No being mean to my Channie.”

“Gross! Let’s see if he still thinks of sunshine when he smells your morning breath. God, you both are already insufferable. I don’t know how I will survive being friends with you both for life.”

“Just you wait, when you find your soulmate I’m going to harass you! Speaking of…take your clothes off. I need to check you for a second impression.”

Wordlessly he followed the instructions like every night prior. Pulling his shirt off first before shuffling his sleep pants down and off. He wasn’t wearing boxers and years of checking him for impressions had long made Felix immune to the sight of his junk. The younger had even called his cock cute once.

“Anything?”

“No babe. Not today. Just the same cheeks looking back at me.”

“Ughhhh. Alright.” A sharp smack lands on his right butt cheek exactly where he knows his impression to be. “Fuck that hurts!”

“Ha! Figured it was worth the shot. Maybe your soulmate felt it and will hurry the fuck up.”

****

Every muscle cries out in protest as Minho makes his way into the cafeteria. His body already feeling the strain of twice-a-day dance practice coupled with his own dancing outside of school hours. Shit. Only five days into the school year and his legs are threatening to go on strike. Thankfully it’s Friday. Saturday was his day off, reserved for clubbing or parties. Maybe he would sleep late and relax with Chan at the apartment, they could finally finish that movie on BigBang. Of course, it all hinges on whether or not the man comes home. After finding his soulmate on Monday his roomie/best friend had spent every night with Felix, coming home late and crawling to his room half dead. Minho wanted to be bitter about the distance but he knew why Chan was staying away. The kind man most likely trying to spare his feelings.

Despite how much it sucked that his permanent bachelor bestie was now mated up, he couldn’t help but be happy for the man. Minho was destined for the single life but Chan had always had a soulmate waiting in the wings. It’s not like their friendship was going to change. Sure the occasional night spent taking their sexual frustrations out on each other was officially over with, but that’s what clubs and Grindr were for. He’d known Chan would find his soulmate someday…they always do. And now that soulmate was the precise reason his ass was in the cafeteria for lunch instead of his favorite cafe on campus. Today was a good day. He’d pouted long enough and finally accepted Chan’s request to join him and Felix for lunch. Apparently they’d managed to amass a large friend group in just a few days.

Scanning the crowded room he starts moving when he catches sight of Chan. Damn, that is a large group. Seven people sat crammed into a table meant for four. Stepping around a couple sucking face in the middle of the walkway he was almost within Chan’s field of vision when his feet go still. Next to his friend drowning in a crimson hoodie is the most beautiful man Minho has ever seen. His chest warms at the sight of the boy’s cheeks stuffed to the max with what looks like kimbap. A man built like a tank sits across from him laughing before shoving another piece in the poor guy’s mouth. Even Minho snickers as he watches the guy’s eyes bulge forward, face turning the same shade as his sweater. Soon four sets of hands are pounding on the guy’s back trying to halt the near-death experience. Laughter high and clear rings from the guy as he finally manages to swallow the lump of rice. Those sweet puffy cheeks were red and spread wide in a heart-shaped smile. 

Minho’s heart skips a beat before skyrocketing in pace. He needs to meet this boy. Has to talk to him, learn his name, his favorite food, movie. What other things could he fit in that large mouth of his? Did he like cats? Of course he would. No one with a face of an angel can hate cats. 

Prepared to move again he stops short when another man enters the picture. This one is stunningly pretty with silver hair, freckles, and pouty lips made for sin. Lips that are currently pressed against his angel boy’s cheeks. The frigid ice bath called reality washes over him. This sweet cheeky boy was not meant for him. The guy had a soulmate, beautiful and fair. Minho had nothing. No one. No impression, no dream. Darkness hauntingly familiar rolls over him. He was used to it by now, the depression. One minute he was fine and the next adrift in a sea of blackwater. Today was no longer a good day. Was the air in here always so stuffy? He needs to leave, has to be outdoors soon or he’s really going to lose it. He shoots a text to Chan before walking out the doors he’d just entered

“Today’s a bad day. I can’t, sorry.”

Looking back at the boy in red he allows himself one more moment of suffering. The man is now looking around, eyes roving the dining hall while sipping on a drink. Perfection. The boy’s inky black hair falls in front of his eyes obscuring the top half of his face. Shaking his head Minho leaves. Whoever that angel’s soulmate is, is a very lucky person.

***

The soft ping of a text notification has Felix pulling away from Jisung’s shoulders.

“Channie babe, is that your roommate? He’s still coming right?”

His Hyung next to him sighs, and the heavy clunk of a cell phone landing on the table follows. “No, he just texted and canceled. Said he can’t make it.”

“You look worried. Is everything ok?”

Jisung’s interest peaked. Chan had talked about his roommate Minho every time they’d hung out. The guy being his closest friend meant a lot to the elder and was woven into almost every story he’d shared. Trying not to be too obvious with his eavesdropping he lets his empty gaze wander around the space they’re in. To an outsider he would look perfectly normal.

“No Lix, I don’t think everything is alright. Minho has chronic depression.”

Ugh. His heart goes out to the stranger. Having social anxiety he also knows what it’s like to be at the mercy of his brain’s chemistry.

“He’s been doing great though. Started seeing a therapist last year and got put on meds. Most days he’s your normal twenty-year-old college student. But there are bad days and his message said today was one of those.”

If anyone could sympathize with Chan it would be Felix. His friend had played the role of Jisung’s rock for many years.

“Hyung, I know we’re supposed to go on our date tonight but why don’t we stop by your place first? You can check on him and make sure he’s ok.”

“For real? That would honestly be great.” A tap on his shoulder has him turning his head. “Jisung-ah. Do you mind if Felix and I go to my place instead of walking you back to the dorm later? That cool?”

“Not a problem at all. I can make it around campus perfectly fine Hyung. You two go and enjoy your date.”

****

Jisung surfaces from a dream with the sound of the front door opening and closing. Slapping his smartwatch he waits for the robotic voice. 

“It is 0900 hours, Saturday, August 14th.”

Mind still foggy from sleep it takes time for it to register. Saturday? Felix was just now coming home from his date…that meant! No sooner had he thought it before there was a knock at his door. 

“Sungie, I heard your watch go off. Can I come in?”

Voice raspy from sleep he scratches out a “Yeah.” 

The knob turns, the hinges of the door creaking. Soon a warm body is tucking itself into his sheets chest pressing against his own. The clothes Felix has on feel softer than last night’s date outfit and smell more like Chan than himself. Chan’s pajamas?

They lay there for a few minutes each waiting for the other to speak first. Eventually Jisung caves.

“Soooo, Chan’s clothing huh?” His friend wiggles closer under the covers. He can feel the blush radiating off the other.

“Yes. We- ah…I ah…spent the night there.” Felix’s voice trails off into a whisper.

“Ok, and? You’re killing me with anticipation here. How was the date? What happened?”

“It was great. We made the movie on time. Good call, by the way suggesting the horror film. We spent the entire two hours buried in each other’s arms hiding from the screen. Afterward we went to an outdoor market and got dinner from the food stalls. He asked if I wanted to go home or come back to his place for a happier movie.”

“A second movie huh? Something tells me you didn’t see much of it.”

A tiny hand slaps against his chest safely protected by the sheets.

“Chan doesn’t know it but earlier when we stopped by his place to check on Minho I overheard them talking. I didn’t meet Minho since I stayed in Chan’s room but I guess he got over whatever funk he was in. He told Chan he was going to some club in Hongdae and not to expect him back. I think that was his way of being nice and giving us privacy.”

“So you already knew you two would be alone when he invited you back?”

“Yep! We went back to his place and… well… you know.”

Trying to avoid sending his morning breath directly into Felix’s face he leans back before sighing. “No, actually I don’t, never been kissed remember? And up until last night you were a virgin too so give me the details!”

“You sure? Cause they are spicy.” His friend wiggles his fingers against Jisung’s cheek emphasizing the word spicy.

“Yes! I wanna know. Help me prepare for when I finally meet my soulmate.”

“Alright. Well, we did at least start the movie. He put on Deadpool and we both pretended to watch it for a while. I’d already told him I was a virgin so I think he wanted me to make the first move. By the time Ryan Reynolds was strapped to the gurney I was done waiting. I leaned over and we started making out, nothing crazy. That transitioned to grinding against each other and usually at this point one of us would’ve stopped. We’d stopped there the past couple of nights but I was having none of that blue ball shit. He tried to back off so I pulled him on top of me and worked my hand in his pants.”

Another slap lands on his chest.

“Let me tell you Jisung, that man is packing! I know my hands are small but I could hardly wrap my hand around his cock!”

Felix’s words trigger his jealousy as molten heat starts pooling in his stomach. Fuck he is pent up, should’ve used his alone time last night to jerk off.

“Anyways, I stroked him off for a while, and fuck did I want him so bad. Eventually, he asked me if I wanted him to finish like that or if I wanted to take it to his bedroom. Obviously, I said yes. Ha! I’ve never seen him move so fast. Channie was super sweet though, even offered to bottom since it was my first time.”

“What did-“ Jisung’s voice cracks forcing him to cough quickly to cover it up. "Uh, em, what did you say?”

“Pusssh. What do you think I said? I’d spent a week dreaming of riding that dick off into the sunset, there was no way I was gonna let him bottom.”

“I know that’s not what you told him.”

“Well yeah duh. I was crazy shy and shit. I politely declined and asked him to take the lead.”

“You shy and demure? Wow, only your soulmate would be able to bring that out.”

“Oh stop it! Chan just has this vibe that makes me want to listen to whatever he says. He is daddy vibes all day!”

Jisung chokes on his spit.

“After we figured all that out he used his fingers to help loosen things up back there. Just like I read in that book and told you about, by the way, this is proof that some fan fiction can be accurate. It also proves that I was right about that toy you ordered from Coupang. It will fit, but you have got to prep better and use WAY more lube.”

“Felix if you don’t finish your story soon I will die before you orgasm.”

“Funny you mention that Sungie… cause I did. Twice, and one of those was untouched so, HA! My soulmate is hung, and great in bed. It did hurt some at first though... the initial stretch. But Channie was beyond patient. He waited for me to relax, and then BAM! Railed me. I was too sore to go again this morning, so instead he gave me a blow job while massaging my prostate. Holy fuck, if we weren’t already soulmates I’d be asking him to marry me.”

“Congrats Lix. I’m glad you finally got the dick you’ve been craving. A thousand points to Gryffindor for Chan making your first time feel good.”

“I really am lucky. First times don’t always go that smoothly. I think it had a lot to do with him as a person, but also his experience. I guess that’s a perk when your mate is older than you. We should have covered it before we had sex but afterward, we talked about his experience.”

Felix shuffles around the bed propping himself up on an arm. “Chan admitted to getting tested the day after we met, although he said he was confident he was clean, he wanted to make sure. His number isn’t huge either... six people. Oh! One of which is his roommate, Minho! Apparently they’ve had a friend-with-benefits thing for a couple years, but they haven't done anything in months.”

“His roommate? Are you ok with that?”

“At first I wasn't sure how I felt, but after processing it, I don’t mind. He swears they're simply best friends and that they only started messing around when Minho stopped dating and they both got super frustrated. I can’t blame the guy for looking for release… plus I reap the benefits of his practice, soooo...”

“So what you mean, is that you really ought to be thanking Minho?” They both laughed at that one until a new thought makes him pause. “Lix… You don’t think Minho is jealous right? Like maybe that’s why he won’t come around us.”

“Sungie, we share the same brain, I thought the same thing! Chan says it’s nothing like that. And ya know…it’s odd but every time the topic of Minho or the depression came up last night Chan got cagey and stopped answering questions. At this point I’m so invested in meeting this guy I’m tempted to sit outside of their apartment. Did I tell you? Chan said Minho use to be a backup dancer for BTS.”

“No fucking way!”

“Yes way! He said Minho even toured with them in Japan before leaving BigHit and starting classes at SNU.”

He grabs the other by his shirt jerking him forward.

“Lixie we have to meet him! I NEED to know what Min Yoongi smells like! This has become a critical event in my life!”

Hands slap at his wrist pushing him away. “I couldn’t agree more. I’ll ask Chan to invite him to lunch again. But the first thing you NEED to do is go brush your damn teeth. I don’t know where the cat that shit in your mouth is but I wanna strangle him.”

“Stop being dramatic and move out of my way. I’ll go brush my teeth but then I want breakfast!”

He crawls over Felix and out of the bed, shivering when the cool air meets his bare skin. Jisung makes it no more than three steps before a scream tears through the room startling him bad enough he trips into the closet door smashing his nose.

“Holy shit Felix! What the fuck is wrong with -“

Before he can finish his sentence hands are on him pulling him up to his feet. “Jisung, Jisung! Oh my God! You’re covered in them!”

Angrily rubbing his nose panic rushes in as he tries to follow his friend’s train of thought.

“Covered in what Lix? Hair? Bites? Please tell me it’s not bed bugs!”

“No you idiot!! Words!! Impressions!! I’ve never seen so many… there must be. One, two, three, four…”

The ringing in his ears masks the rest of his friend’s counting. Words? Impressions? His soulmate had seen him! They might have met!

“Sungie! Jisung! Are you listening to me? You have at least five impressions on you maybe more!”

“What?! Five?! What are they!? Where are they!? What do they say!?”

“I’ll start with your back, stay still and let me look.”

A flash of cool air hits his backside when Felix pulls down his pants and boxer briefs.

“Cheeks is still here but we were expecting that. I wonder which one was the second impression? There’s lucky running down your spine. The word angel is wrapped around your left bicep. And you thought my impressions were cheesy!”

Every cell in Jisung’s body hums with excitement. “Enough with the commentary! What’s left?”

“Alright, alright. That’s it for the back, hold on. Give me your hand… you’ve got hope running along your pointer finger. Although that one is fading fast. I can just barely see it while the others look new. Oh, there’s one I hadn’t seen… huh, that’s interesting.”

“What’s the impression?”

“Well… it’s fear and the print is huge. It covers your entire right thigh.”

“Fear?” His mind slams to a halt. Is his soulmate scared of him? Maybe Jisung looked scared when they saw him. Hurt mixed with dread sends ice through his veins. What if…

“Felix…” His legs turn to jelly leaving him to crumple to the ground.

“Jisung!” The younger’s voice is concerned.

“Felix. What if they realized I’m blind and that caused the fear. What if they’re scared to be with me? Scared of my needs.”

Soothing palms trace over his arms before moving to his face. “No, no, no. There is no way they think that. I promise that is not the case.”

Sucking up his now runny nose he couldn’t help how pitiful his voice sounds. “How do you know?”

“Because there’s still one more impression. It’s right here.” A finger moves across the thin skin directly below his right collarbone.

“Perfection.” 

The single word demolishes the dam keeping his emotions at bay. Heavy sobs fall from him as he leans against Felix. Years of worry, anxiety, and fear are washed away by the tide of his soulmate’s affection. His soulmate had found him and they think he is perfect. Him? The blind boy who feels the need to hustle for affection and prove his worth. Him, Han Jisung is perfect in the eyes of his soulmate. 

Euphoria has a name and its name is Jisung.

“My soulmate thinks I’m perfect!” His voice rises in pitch and volume. “Me! Perfect!”

Felix holds him close. “Not just perfect. They think you’re an angel, lucky, and remind them of hope. I don’t know who or when but you made a serious impression on them. I can’t believe they didn’t come to talk to you when they feel so strongly.”

“You’re right! Why didn’t they introduce themselves to me? How am I supposed to find them now?”

His roommate stands pulling Jisung to his feet. “The last time we checked you for impressions was when? Thursday night?”

“No, Wednesday. Thursday you fell asleep on the couch with Chan.”

“So anytime between Thursday morning and Friday night, your soulmate saw and or met you.” Jisung could hear the man’s footsteps across the carpet pacing back and forth. “I take it back. I think I would have noticed yesterday if the word hope had been on your pointer finger. The timeframe is narrowed to Friday only. Here! Put these clothes on and go brush your teeth.”

“What?” The rustle of fabric is his only warning before a pair of jeans smacks him in the face.

“Quit standing there and hurry up! We have to make you presentable for your soulmate and head out.”

Following directions he tugs on the clothes he’d been assaulted with. The sound of Felix’s footsteps grows distant as the man walks deeper into the apartment. He could just make out the other’s voice coming from the second bedroom. 

“Channie, I need you to call Changbin and have him and Hyunjin meet us in front of the music building in thirty minutes! Get dressed and come along too, you know more people on campus than we do. Jagi please, this is an emergency. Jisung woke up covered in impression words and he has no clue who they’re from.”

An odd static noise grows louder as Chan’s voice comes over the phone yelling “Why didn’t you open with that?!”

“I would have had I known you would be so resistant to leaving the bed. Yes, I know you’re tired from last night but you’re also not the one with the sore ass?”

An unattractive snort comes from him as he listens to the rest of the couple’s conversation. Toothbrush hanging from his mouth he can just make out Chan’s rushed apology.

“It’s perfectly fine Channie, I enjoyed myself too. No I’m not mad. Yes, I would tell you if I was…ok, I have to go now babe. I’ll call Seungmin and Jeongin, they should be awake now too. Bye Jagi."

Knocking the excess water off his toothbrush he hears Felix joins him in the bathroom. “Sit on the toilet lid and let me put some eye shadow on you.”

“Lixie, Why are you calling everyone and having them meet us at the school? It’s Saturday.”

“I’m gathering the troops! We need their help. We’re going to retrace your entire day yesterday and while we do that you’re going to play the soulmate game with every person we meet.”

****

Working his key into the lock Minho releases an audible sigh as he enters the apartment. Maybe he’ll get lucky and be able to avoid Chan. Walking as fast as his slight limp allows he’s almost to the bathroom when fate betrays him.

“Minho?”

Damn it! So close, fate never liked him anyways. Facing his friend he’s surprised to see the elder fully dressed, keys and cell phone in hand.

“It’s 9:40 on a Saturday, why are you going out?”

“Felix’s roommate woke up with a bunch of impression marks and no idea who his soulmate is. The group is getting together to try and find them. It could be fun…want to join us?”

The group? As in angel cheeks and his flawless soulmate? “Hard pass Hyung. I can think of a hundred things I’d rather be doing than running around campus playing the soulmate game with strangers for some guy I don’t know. And why does it take a whole group of people to track this person down anyway?”

“I haven’t told you yet? His roommate is-“

Lower back screaming at him to sit down Minho interrupts.

“Actually, you know what. I don’t care. Go have fun playing Cupid on your little soulmate scavenger hunt. I need a hot bath and a nap.”

Chan shakes his head walking to the front door pulling it open to leave. “Figured you’d say that. Not like you’d be much help with that limp anyways. Next time just top and save yourself the back pain."

“Hyung, if you’d seen this man’s cock even you would have spread ‘em. Too bad the fucker didn’t know how to use it. What a waste of a beautiful dick.”

The door slams closed behind Chan but Minho can still hear his squeaky laughter echoing down the hallway.

***** 

After his Friday night spent using Sir Dick a’lot to (unsuccessfully) fuck the memory of Angel Cheeks from him, Minho figures he’d avoid the cafeteria for life and never see the pretty boy again. Fate, the fickle bitch had different plans. For the next couple of weeks it seems that no matter where Minho is, Angel Cheeks shows up. 

He was sure the guy wasn’t a dance major or they would’ve met already. But the Monday after that first weekend finds Minho jumping behind a vending machine to avoid being seen as Angel Cheeks says goodbye to a tall blond in the first-year dance hall. Peeking around his hiding spot for a better look his breath is stolen by the smile the man’s giving to the blonde. What the hell? This dude’s not even his soulmate? Does he just go around looking at everyone like that? 

The second time Minho sees him is in front of the music building. Minho’s talking to a Professor about the song composition for his benchmark dance portfolio when the black-haired beauty walks past gripping the arm of a guy whose more muscles than height. Enraptured by the sway of the younger’s ass, Minho’s ashamed to admit he’d had to ask the professor to repeat himself…twice. It is just so perfectly round and bouncy. And that tiny waist! 

The third time he sees the male he learns something of value…his name. 

District 9 Cafe is Minho’s haven. Here he can enjoy his lunch while typing away, focusing on his Theory of Modern Dance paper in peace. Or so he thought. The bell on the door jingles breaking his concentration. Glancing up he panics when he sees the subject of his brain’s constant thoughts sandwiched between two men. The cutie, always surrounded by friends was popular. The other two men were attractive too, the first having dark hair and an insanely beautiful smile, the other a soft fox-like face with kind eyes. 

But Angel Cheeks steals the show. The man’s hair is wavy this time, a casual kind of sexy that has Minho’s heart swooning. Teeth clenched he actively ignores his jealousy as the three friends laugh together. What are they talking about? Class? What is Angel Cheeks’ major? 

The trio sits a few tables away allowing Minho to continue watching (in a very NON-creepy fashion) from behind his laptop screen. Trying to be covert he leans over a bit to listen (again not being creepy). It is here that he’s graced with the sound of the man’s voice for the first time.

“Seungmin-ah I’m begging you! I need you to sing on my track. Please, it’s my first submission for composition and you would be perfect.”

Minho’s heart seizes. The face of an angel with the voice of one too. Surprisingly, it was deeper than he thought it would be. Peering over the top of his MacBook he’s struck dumb by the look the boy was giving his friend. Big doe eyes miles deep were sparkling as he pleaded for help. How could anyone resist that face? If those weapons of mass destruction were ever turned on him, Minho was sure he’d give the boy anything he wanted. My car? It’s yours. My heart? Already gone. That last thought was sobering but quickly pushed aside at the realization that one of his questions had been answered. Composition! His Angel Cheeks was a music production major like Chan. 

A loud “Iced Americano for Jisung” crashes his inner monologue.

He watches as the one called Seungmin touches Angel Cheek’s hand before standing up. “Stay here I’ll get it for you”.

Scrambling Minho hides behind his laptop screen biting on a knuckle to contain his excitement. Jisung! Angel Cheeks name is Jisung! 

He would’ve been content to sit there for the rest of the day (not stalking) the three friends but Chan’s urgent text stating he was locked out of the apartment ruined the mood. He could be a dick and ignore the text, even considered it for a solid minute, but karma is real so he tucks his computer away and leaves to help his friend. If he covertly managed to take a photo of Jisung aka Mr. Doe Eyes before he left, meh, no one needs to know.

*****

The following Monday Minho makes a mental note to talk to his therapist about masochism. He must find pleasure in pain, it’s the only explanation for how he once again finds himself walking towards the cafeteria in a second attempt to meet Chan’s soulmate and friend group. 

It was time he met Felix and as Chan’s best friend, it was his duty to vet the man. This is the precise reason that two days earlier Minho had texted his roommate and informed him that a schedule change now allowed them to meet for lunch. It had nothing to do with the picture he’d received via text earlier in the day. The picture captioned only with “Bae” showed Chan smiling next to a pretty, wafer-thin male with freckles and silver hair.

So the silver panther belongs to Chan and is not in fact the soulmate of the father to Minho’s future babies. Babies with dark hair, doe eyes, and smiles that could cure cancer. 

Minho is one hundred percent meeting Felix because he is a good friend and only because he is a good friend! And as the great guy that he is, he brought along a large container of homemade japchae and kimchi. College students were always hungry, he was being nice and absolutely not trying to impress a certain chubby-cheeked human.

*****

Anticipation crawls under Jisung’s skin like ants. His nervousness started that morning when Felix informed him that Chan’s roommate had agreed to meet them at lunch today. He isn’t sure why the thought of finally meeting the elusive roommate has him so excited but he’s not going to question it. The thrumming energy serves as a good distraction from the elephant that had recently moved into his life. 

IE…his nameless and faceless soulmate. He knows it was too soon to lose hope, but seriously, new impressions come and go daily on his skin and Jisung is no closer to figuring out who his soulmate is. According to Felix lucky, perfection and fear were still sitting on his skin while newer impressions came and went. His favorites so far were perfection, smile, and sexy. Knowing his soulmate found him sexy had sent Jisung into a tailspin, insisting his friends take him shopping for new form-fitting clothes. Anything other than more hoodies and strait-legged blue jeans.

Today is his first day trying out the new wardrobe, his friends praising the fitted black button-down and skinny jeans. Under Changbin’s close supervision, he’d started working out and the tight sleeves of the shirt emphasize his arms, or so Jeongin had told him this morning.

Sipping on his oolong tea Jisung listens as his friends arrive at the lunch table they’d claimed as their own. A tight hug from behind tells him Chan and Felix have arrived completing the unlikely group of friends.

“Sungie! Today’s the day. Chan got a text that says he is walking up now. Wait a little while before asking about Min Yoongi ok? We don’t want him to think that’s the only reason we invited him.”

“I know not to be rude Lix.”

Chan’s voice breaks into the chatter between their large group. “Speaking of rude guys…I need to warn you. Once Minho gets here make sure not to talk about-“

Jisung feels the man’s presence before hearing the cough that cuts Chan’s warning short.

“Ahem… hello.”

The table jolts as Chan stands up to introduce the newcomer. “Guys this is Lee Minho. Forth-year dance major and my best friend.”

A sharp intake of breath comes from the section of the table where Hyunjin and Changbin normally sit.

“Minho these are my friends. The two at the end are Seungmin and Jeongin, first-year vocal majors. The couple across from them is Hyunjin and Changbin. Hyunjin’s a dance major like you and Changbin is in music production with this guy, Jisung.” A heavy hand lands on his back punctuating the declaration of his name. “And this beauty is Felix, my soulmate. He’s in dance with Hyunjin.”

“It’s wonderful to meet you all and especially you Felix. Chan has done nothing but brag about his soulmate and he wasn’t exaggerating when he said you were pretty. I apologize for how long it’s taken to meet but things have been busy with the new school year.”

Listening to Minho greet the table is an out-of-body experience. The man’s voice sent a spark of heat across his chest. It’s unique, soft yet strong, it reminds him of the first day of spring. Chilly with a hint of tenderness hidden underneath. That was his first impression, soon after comes the scent of cologne. Just like the male’s voice it has a strange dichotomy of sweet vanilla with a bitter spice underneath. Felix’s voice brings him back to earth.

“Here, you can sit next to Jisung. Minho-ssi, Jisung is my roommate and best friend. We met when I moved from Australia and have been close ever since.” A warm body drops into the seat next to him. The scent of cologne gets stronger. It’s delicate, light enough to be smelled but not enough to linger or bother others. Fuck, it smells sexy, seductive. Trying to be polite he turns in the direction of Minho smiling briefly before looking down again. He didn’t want his vacant stare to unnerve the older man.

“I hope you all are hungry. I brought some japchae and kimchi I made.”

Cute and alarmingly high-pitched aegyo noises came from Chan’s seat. “Min-ah! You make food for them but not for me at home!”

The chuckle that follows is warm and fond. “Stop lying. You would have died years ago if I didn’t feed you at home.”

Felix leans in front of him forcing Jisung to sit up. “Jisung, I just served you some of the japchae. Do you cook Minho-ssi? I love to bake. Sungie here has tried more of my brownies than anyone else. We should get together sometime and make dinner for the group.”

“I made rice once!” Comes from Changbin’s side of the table.

The chilly springtime voice next to him sends a shiver down his spine. “What about you Jisung-ssi? Do you like to cook?”

The question confuses him. Was Minho trying to be polite by including him in the conversation? Eyes pointed downward he pokes at the food in front of him with chopsticks. “No, I’d probably mistake my pinkie for a carrot and chop it off. I like all my fingers, we’re on speaking terms and all, so I stay out of the kitchen.”

“Pfft.” If a giggle could be attractive this guy has managed it. Maybe any noise Minho made would be music to his ears. “Don’t sell yourself short Jisung. Anyone can learn. Start with something easy like boiling water. You can call me Hyung by the way.”

The silky voice and spicy cologne were like soju to his brain. Was Jisung’s face as red as it felt? And why was Minho telling him to try boiling water? A blind person, plus fire, plus hot water was a disaster waiting to happen. It was almost like he didn’t know.

“Jisung, can you pass me the soy sauce?”

Well, that question confirms it, Minho didn’t know he was blind. The sting of embarrassment flushes his cheeks turning them even hotter, Jisung was gonna burn up completely before lunch was over.

“Um Minho-ssi… or uhh Hyung. I’m sor-sorry but I c-can’t…” Great and now he is blind and stutters. Can life just kill him already? Felix comes to his rescue.

“Oh Hyung… Chan didn’t tell you? Jisung is blind. Here let me get you the soy sauce instead.”

Jisung waits for the elder's reaction, can almost hear the gears turning in the man’s brain. First will come the apologies followed by pity with a splash of condescension ending in “Felix you’re so nice to take care of this boy, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

Instead, a sheepish laugh rings out followed by “Chan! Hyung! I am going to kick your ass! Warn a guy next time. I’m over here awkward as fuck telling Jisung he should learn to cook and to pass me the soy sauce. Seriously bro! What the hell?”

The eldest manages a warped version of “sorry” around the pound of noodles in his mouth.

A gentle hand brushes across his right shoulder. “Jisung-ah, I hope I didn’t offend you but you should know a blind woman won the third season of Gordon Ramey’s MasterChef. There’s hope for you yet.”

The spark of heat from earlier is back. Starting from their contact point on his shoulder before spreading across his chest. He doesn’t know if it’s Minho’s encouraging words or the brief contact on his shoulder but for the first time in years, his chest feels light. The elder continues.

“At least that explains why you haven’t looked at me. I was starting to think I’d done something wrong.”

At this Jisung moves his face a little more to the right. “No! I just… I’ve been told that my eyes make people uncomfortable since I can’t focus on anything.”

An indignant squawk comes from Felix on his left. “Sungie, who told you that?!?”

Before he’s able to answer a firm hand cups his chin forcing his face up and to the right. Warm breath tickles his skin as he stares into what he can only assume is Minho’s face. “Let me be the judge of that, yeah?” 

Heat floods his system again. A fierce burn starts at his face before swiftly flying to his fingertips and toes. The hairs on his flesh stand up as a sense of electric excitement washes over him. He should pull back, push the stranger’s hand off his face and demand personal space. Instead, one of the fingers holding his chin starts stroking his jaw and it takes every once his self-control to hold back the whimper building in his throat. 

Nervously his tongue darts out wetting his lower lip, and the grip on his jaw increases. Jisung can feel six pairs of eyes watching them as silence falls across the table. It was just like Felix had described. They hadn’t spoken their impressions yet but Jisung knows, his heart knows. This man is his soulmate. Minho, Minho, Minho.

Just like springtime, joy is born inside his heart. The promise of life making its mark across the frozen earth. Smiling his cheeks push wide squeezing his eyes closed. Lifting a hand he grips the wrist of the arm holding his face as if it was his only lifeline to earth.

“What do you think Hyung?” His voice sounds breathy, enthralled.

“Your eyes?” Minho’s voice sounds as wrecked as his. “They’re perfec—“

“Ahem!” A women’s voice clearing her throat shatters the spell encapsulating them. The hand touching him drops as if it’d been burned. Jisung’s attention is unwillingly pulled to the women standing next to their table.

“Minho-ssi. Sorry to interrupt.” The new voice is high and nasally, irritating Jisung’s sensitive hearing immediately.

“Sana-ssi. How may I help you?” The elder’s voice once welcoming sounds near glacial in its response.

“It’s not me you can help but my friend. This is Jihyo.” The sound of nervous footsteps approaches. “She saw you across the room but is too shy to approach you on her own. What was it you said Jihyo? That you didn’t realize men as attractive as Minho-ssi existed?”

Minho lets out a heavy sigh next to him. “Sana, I’m flattered but-“

“Now before you say anything get a good look! Jihyo come closer…there you go!” The girl’s voice became forceful.

“Sana, please stop, I don’t-“

“Here let her go first! Jihyo what was your first impression of Minho-ssi?”

Frustration mounts as the two girls refuse to listen to Minho. Jisung might be blind but even he can tell that the man was uncomfortable with the attention. A shy shaky voice speaks up.

“Hi, Minho-ssi. I first-“

“Jihyo I-“

“Shush! Minho, wait your turn.” Jisung’s jaw falls open as the girl shushes the elder.

“-first impression was of your handsome-“

“STOP ALREADY!” The air in his lungs stills as Minho’s voice yells out. The man’s labored breaths puffed out next to him... “I don’t care! I don’t play the soulmate game! I won’t say what my first impression of her is and I don’t give a damn what hers is of me. Now leave me alone!”

What sounds like a sob leaves one of the girls followed by a clack of heels running off. 

“Asshole!”

With both girls gone Jisung faces the table. The silence around them was heavy with unspoken thoughts.

Icy and laced with judgment Hyunjin speaks from the end of the table. “Would it have been that bad? Just hearing her out? Man, that was a dick move.”

Next to Jisung, Minho's body has gone stiff. 

Felix is next. “She’s crying now Hyung. You should’ve played along. It takes courage to ask someone to play the soulmate game.”

“Felix stop!” Chan's voice is layered with a warning.

“No! I won’t! Jisung here has been going crazy trying to find his soulmate. Tell him Sungie! New words appear every day and still, the person hasn’t shown up! Minho-hyung shouldn’t mock people who want to find their person.”

A screeching noise makes him flinch away from the sound of a chair flipping backward as Minho abruptly stands up. “I can’t I’m sorry….I have to leave.”

“Min-ah please don’t go!” The eldest’s Australian accent became more pronounced with his stress.

“No, Chan this was a fucking mistake. You can explain everything I don’t care. Here…” The japchae container is pushed into the center of the table. “Enjoy, I made it for you all.”

Jisung wants to say something, anything to convince the man to stay but anxiety, cruel and corrosive crept in with Minho’s assertion that he doesn’t “play the soulmate game”. The sound of rustling fabric tells him the elder has walked off.

Changbin jumps in. “Hyung that’s your best friend? The man was an ass!”

Magically Jisung’s tongue becomes unstuck. “I don’t think he was an ass.” The faces of his friends turn in his direction. “He asked them to stop and those girls wouldn’t listen. They were in the wrong. And Felix, next time you want to disrespect an elder by scolding him, leave my name out of it.” With all the aggression of a baby kitten, he tries to glare in the direction of Felix, Changbin, and Hyunjin.

Hyunjin butts in. “I knew I’d heard his name before! He’s infamous in the dance school. Felix you remember. The second year told us about him, they call him Heartbreak Minho. He doesn’t date and refuses to answer the soulmate game. Thinks he’s too good I guess.”

At that a hard fist slams against the table. Chan’s voice was lethal. “Shut the fuck up Hyunjin. You don’t know anything! All of you except Jisung are in the wrong. Even you Felix.” His best friend makes a wounded sound. “Minho has his reasons, damn good ones. He doesn’t owe anyone an explanation. No one should have to play the soulmate game against their will. Minho…he’s special. He doesn’t- o fuck it.” 

Chan’s voice drops to a whisper, chairs creak as the group collectively leans in to listen. “I’m only telling you all this because Minho said to explain. The reason he doesn’t do the soulmate game is because…he doesn’t have one. Minho doesn’t have a soulmate.”

If the topic wasn’t so serious the collective gasp that leaves the six members would have been comical. Nausea hits Jisung’s gut like a battering ram as pain tangible and real twists in his chest.

“Chan, are you serious?” Felix’s voice is thick with guilt.

“Yeah, I am. I meet Minho his freshman year, his aunt and my parents are close friends. I tried the soulmate game on him and he told me right away. He said I should know the truth if we were going to be living together. He doesn’t talk about it much, it’s too painful for him. I only know the details because he got drunk one night and told me about his sixteenth birthday. Said he went to bed excited like any of us but woke up the next day without having a single dream.”

Jisung recognizes Changbin’s soft whimper across the table.

“He said the worst part was waking up without an impression and spending hours searching for it. Even shaved his hair off thinking it could be underneath. He used to play along…listening when people would approach him for the soulmate game before making up his own first impression. But I think the lies wore him down. He tried dating his first year here, met a few boys who said soulmate impressions weren’t important. They all met their soulmates and they all left him. So yeah…maybe it’s rude to brush people off when they try the soulmate game, but Minho gets a pass. He’s earned it.”

A weighted blanket of despair settles on Jisung’s shoulders smothering his heart. Lost hope, bitter and acrid sits on his tongue. He’d been so sure. Everything, every cell in his body had answered the siren's call of Minho’s touch. The very real pain pressing on his rib cage throbs. It's not Minho, and never will be. The frosty man with the voice of spring had no soulmate… no one. Jisung’s disappointment switches to heartbreak for the older man. The chronic depression makes sense now.

Felix sniffles loudly next to him and touching his face Jisung finds his best friend isn’t the only one crying. Hyunjin’s voice is watery and strained. “Hyung! I’m going to eat every bite of this japchae and then I need you to take me back to your place so I can apologize. Changbin? Felix… you coming with me?”

****

Resting fully clothed on top of his sheets Minho contemplates the statistical likelihood of a sinkhole opening below his room and swallowing him whole. Another option is the tiny island off the coast of Japan where a cult worships cats. He could hide out there for the next thousand years. It was his only choice seeing as how there was no way in hell he would be returning to campus. In the history of all time, there had never been a worse introduction. It had started off better than his most fantastical dream before crashing into the raging dumpster fire that defined Minho’s nonexistent love life. 

Fucking hell! What demon had possessed him to grab Angel Cheek’s face? To hold those soft squishy cherub cheeks in the palm of his hand before stroking the jaw of his dreams. Like a fever his skin had flushed, with a racing pulse he’d looked into endless mahogany orbs and for a brief moment, an invisible thread had pulled Minho in. Sanity waved goodbye as it drove off into the sunset he’d been seconds away from pressing his lips against the first year's delicate rose-pink pout. It’d been years since he’d kissed a boy on the lips. Jaded from the constant letdown of not feeling a soul bond during a lip lock he’d refused every kiss since his last boyfriend.

Jisung was everything Minho had pictured and more…and BLIND! Talk about a revelation. That explained the constant presence of his friends and why the boy was always holding onto an arm or hand. He’d seen blind people before, walking on sidewalks with their canes but he’d never met one. While surprising, the news hadn’t changed Minho’s feelings one bit. The sweet freshman with stars in his unseeing eyes was still perfect. Now Minho had even more questions. Had Jisung been born blind? How had he ended up a music major?

The most pressing question was whether or not, if he tried hard enough, could Minho lick the freckle resembling a chocolate chip off the boy’s cheek. Ughhhhh. And now he would never know the answer to any of them. The last one not just because of the lunchtime debacle but because Minho would never be brave enough to try. Nope, without a doubt his sweet baby Angel Cheeks aka Mr. Doe Eyes aka Jisung thought Minho was the biggest ass at SNU.

A knock on his bedroom door disrupts his self-flagellation. 

“Min-ah. I know you’re home, can you come out here please?” 

He wasn’t worried about Chan’s reaction. Years of friendship had solidified his trust in the elder. What he didn’t want was to be a source of strife in the man’s budding relationship with Felix. Time to get this over with.

A brief chat followed by hugs had been his expectation. Instead, pulling open his door he was shocked to find three boys in deep apology bows, foreheads pressed to the living room floor while Chan stood behind them, arms crossed like an angry parent.

Hyunjin, who is in the center, addresses him first. “Minho-ssi. I speak for all of us when I say we’re sorry for our behavior at lunch. Even without Chan Hyung’s explanation we never should have spoken against you. It was disrespectful and it will never happen again.”

Muscle Pig was next. “I’m sorry I called you an ass!”

This admission has an eyebrow twitching with annoyance…that insult must have happened after Minho had stormed off.

“Minho-Hyung.” Looking down again he’s greeted by Felix’s face, puffy and red from crying. “Hyung I’m sorry. I should never have told you what to do. Even Jisung yelled at me. I was rude and out of line. I promise to make you brownies for life.”

“And your japchae was amazing and the kimchi was better than my mom’s!” Hyunjin was now looking up at him, the boy’s face swollen like his friend’s. Changbin aka muscle pig moved closer to his soulmate. “I can make rice!”

He wanted to maintain his stoic poker face longer but the news that Jisung had defended him had Minho’s insides melting. Protective shell cracking his lips twitched into a smile. “Brownies for life right? That’s the deal?” In an instant, he’s mobbed by the three boys while he shouts for Chan to quit laughing and rescue him.

****

It took four days for Minho to see Jisung again. In all seriousness he tried to avoid the cafeteria, too many people, too many eyes watching him in interest. He knew he was good looking, had been told by enough people that at this point that it was ruder to deny it. Large crowds allowed people the anonymity needed to build up enough courage to ask him the soulmate game. Eating alone was safer.

It was in the process of leaving District 9 cafe that Minho spotted him. He’d done a double take as the pretty boy had walked by unaided by a friend. This was the first time he’d seen the male walking on his own, white cane tapping the ground in front of him. In a very non-stalker-like manner, he followed at a respectable distance behind. Minho simply wanted to make sure the boy made it safely to his destination. It had nothing to do with the perfect peach-shaped ass bouncing along hypnotizing him with each step. 

Loud shouts force his eyes up leaving him just enough time to panic, heading straight for Jisung is a large man riding an electric scooter on the sidewalk. Without thinking, he sprints forward, closing the gap between them. Lunging straight ahead, MInho manages to wrap his arms around the man pulling him out of the path of collision at the last possible second. Falling with him, Jisung releases a cry of shock at the same time Minho lands on top of him, the elder's arm exploding in pain as the hand protecting the other's head scrapes against pavement

“Jisung it’s Minho! I’ve got you.”

“Hyung? Wh- what happened?”

Scanning him for injuries he rolls off the surprised male, eyes purposefully glossing over the exposed impression on the man’s forearm. Minho has zero interest in reading what Jisung’s soulmate thinks of him. Strangers began running over to help and sitting the boy up, Minho waves away peoples' offerings of assistance. “We’re fine thank you! No, no one’s hurt.”

“Sorry, Jisung-ah. Some jackass was riding a scooter on the sidewalk and would have clipped you if I hadn’t jumped in. I hope I didn’t scare you too bad.”

“No! Hyung thank you! I heard people yelling but I had no clue someone was heading my way.” A hesitant hand reaches out to him for assurance, not thinking Minho meets it in the middle with his own. Letting out a pained hiss he immediately jerks the limb back as the wound on his hand makes contact with the other. “Hyung are you hurt?”

“Ah, it’s nothing. A bit of road rash from the fall, I’ll be fine.” His heart lurches as wide doe-eyes peer up at him in concern.

“It’s not fine… you’re hurt because of me.”

“Sung-ah.” The pet name slips from him before he could think to shut his mouth, and the younger blinks up at him before turning away, cheeks glowing red. Cute. 

“Hyung, I have some bandaids and antibiotic ointment in my dorm. Would you come with me? I would feel better knowing you’ve received some first-aid.”

An act of God could not have stopped him from agreeing to go with Jisung. In fact, the sweet freshman could ask him to walk off a cliff and Minho would gladly follow behind. “If it will get you to your dorm safely and stop you from worrying then yes, I’ll go with you.”

The smile he receives in response sends his heart flying from his body, floating to the clouds. He needs to meet with his therapist and get this masochism sorted out. There was only one outcome to befriending Angel Cheeks, guaranteed heartbreak. 

"I live in the new dorms close by." 

"The new dorms? I thought those were for Seniors and Graduate students only?”

An evil grin twitches across pouty lips as he taps the corner of his right eye. 

"It's also the only dorm with handicap rooms. These faulty bad boys finally earned their keep.”

The urge to tease is too strong to resist. "Uh huh... sure. I think you can see just fine and this "blind" business is nothing but a rouse to get the best housing on campus.”

The sight of the Jisung laughing so hard he folds in half has Minho's signature blank face lighting up.

"You caught me Hyung! But it was Felix's evil plan, you can report him to admin. Come on, let's get you patched up." Jisung walks away heading in the direction of student housing. 

Like a balloon attached to a small child’s wrist Minho is helpless to follow behind.

****

Pushing his apartment door open Jisung works to remember when the last time he or Felix had cleaned. Both were pretty consistent with picking up since even a stray shirt could potentially cause him to trip and fall. Please, please, please let it be tidy.

Anxiety clawing at his insides he sets his keys, bag, and cane by the door before letting Minho pass into the main room.

"Stay here Hyung. The first aid kit should be in the bathroom under the sink." 

Following his memory he silently counts five steps forward before turning to the right and taking three more steps. Moving into the bathroom he feels around under the sink sending a silent thank you to the universe when his hands fall upon a familiar plastic bin with braille lettering across the top.

He takes a minute in the bathroom internally berating his nerves trying to calm himself down. Despite almost being run over, the universe was on his side today! Minho, the boy whose voice makes his skin tingle with warmth is in his house... alone... with just him. Jisung had spent the last four days trying to come up with different scenarios that would have him meeting the elder again. Thank you Mr. Scooter guy!

Breathing deeply he reins in his excitement, reminding himself of all the reasons he hadn’t already gone searching for Chan’s roommate. For starters, the man doesn’t date and isn’t even open to dating. Next is the fact that Jisung himself has a soulmate, a soulmate that while elusive does exist… unlike Minho’s. No matter how drawn to the elder Jisung is it would be cruel to approach him in anything other than friendship. The sooner he convinces his heart of these facts, the better.

Stepping from the room he’s greeted with silence. Did Minho leave while he was in the bathroom talking himself off the ledge. “Hyung?”

“On the couch Sung-ah. I figured I should stay in one place for you.”

“G-Good idea… here’s the kit.” Moving forward he stops when his thigh brushes again the arm of the couch. Minho takes the box sending a chill down his back as cool fingers touch his.

“Would you sit with me and hold the box?”

Putting his hand out he trails the frame of the couch before moving to sit. 

“Of course, I didn’t want to crowd you Hyung. Does it hurt?” 

Jisung feels the plastic box being set on his lap while a hand searches inside it.

“It’s just a couple of small cuts. With the ointment, I’ll probably heal up by Monday. Thank you Jisung-ah.”

Lava burns in his cheeks as his body reacted to Minho saying his full name. “It-it’s nothing Hyung. You saved me from getting hurt, the least I can do is offer you a band-aid.”

The man next to him on the couch sighs. “Perhaps but…I’m not just thanking you for this. When Felix and the others came to apologize he mentioned that you’d defended me after I left the other day. I guess I’m saying thank you for that as well.”

“You’re welcome Hyung, but anyone would have stuck up for you. Those girls were rude! I heard you try to stop them but that one shushed you. I can’t even see and I could tell how uncomfortable you were.”

Fingertips ghost across his forehead pushing fallen stands away from his eyes.

"Not just anyone spoke in my defense. Only you and Chan did, it means a lot to me.”

Looking forward Jisung searches blindly in the dark for the elder's face. Fingertips return this time guiding his face up and to the left a few inches. 

"There, now you're looking at me.”

Jisung's heart stutters in his chest. This man with his honeyed voice and intoxicating scent was bad for his health. Silence hovers around them like quicksand, both lost in the other. 

Minutes or hours later the elder clears his throat, the sound startling Jisung back into reality. "Ehem..."

"Sorry Hyung, I seem to be kind of spacey today.”

"It's understandable after what just happened. You didn't hit your head with the fall did you?”

"No, I'm alright thanks to you." 

The box in his lap moves along with the sound of the lid popping into place.

"I'm done here and should head out. I'm sure you had plans for your afternoon.”

Disappointment sets in with the announcement, it’s selfish and wrong but he doesn’t want Minho to leave.

"Hyung, do you like ramyeon? I don't have anything planned for tonight and my brother sent me this special brand from Japan, it's tonkatsu flavored. Also, there's this National Geographic movie on Quokkas in Australia I was hoping to listen to. You can watch and I can listen…"

The buzz of the aircon fills the silence while Jisung waits for an answer wrestling with himself internally. Minho hadn't planned on having his Friday night hijacked. Most likely the elder has class work or something fun planned and here he is offering ramyeon and animals videos. Real classy.

"Never mind Hyung-“

"I like ramyeon…"

They both speak at the same time.

"Really? You'll stay?” His cheeks ache from the spread of his smile.

The elder huffs out a chuckle. "Yes, but on one condition?”

"What is it?”

"You let me teach you how to make it.”

***

Jisung reluctantly allows himself to be shuffled into the kitchen. "And this ladies and gentlemen is how I burn down the nicest dorms on campus.”

A hand ruffles through his hair giving him a minor heart attack. Minho is proving to be a fan of skin-ship, much to Jisung's happiness and despair.

"Don't be so dramatic. This is one of the easiest things to prepare, all college kids should know how to make ramyeon. First, we need a pot to cook it in, water, and any toppings you want to add.”

Jisung listens to his teacher move around the kitchen, pulling out items as he lists them.

"Alright, that should be everything we need. Now, come over here and we can start." A hand wraps his wrist in a loose grip pulling him near the sink. "Is it ok if I touch you while guiding you around?"

Heart tap dancing on his ribs, he nods, praying his voice won't give away the tumultuous feelings inside him. "T-That's fine Hyung." Minho presses against his back before guiding Jisung’s arm toward the counter. 

"This is a measuring cup and holds one cup of water. You need to pour two of these into the pot." 

The loose hand holding his wrist moves his right hand to what feels like a bottle of water and his left hand to a small round dish. Jisung is sure his heart is beating so hard anyone watching would see his shirt bumping along with the organ.

Slowly they pour the water into the measuring cup until he feels it overflow into the sink. "Now that it's full pour it into the pot next to you on the counter.”

Jisung’s hand is guided to the left before the grip holding his wrist rotates enough that the water empties below with a splash.

"Now do that one more time.”

Without as much assistance Jisung manages to pour the water into the cup before transferring it to the pot again. Squeaking in surprise when the hands on his wrists move to his waist, Minho’s chest still pressed against his back moves as the senior laughs at his response. 

“No laughing, I wasn't prepared for that.”

"I'm only laughing Sung-ah, because it was cute. Now, take the pot and step to your right three times, turn around, and walk two more steps forward. Then you're at the stove." 

With Minho's hands still resting on his waist, he has no sooner followed the instructions, when lips are next to his ear. "Perfect. Now you're at the stove." 

Goosebumps break out across his skin, the reverently spoken syllables sounding more like a prayer than directions. To his shame, the soft words and warm breath are enough to bring the first tendrils of arousal to his gut.

Mentally he calls forth every depressing image stored in his brain. Waking up blind and deaf. Stepping on his suicidal pet goldfish. Anything to prevent the semi-chubbed cock in his pants from getting any harder. Getting hard making ramyeon…Felix would never let him live this down. He blames the evil man currently holding his waist in the palms of tender (and surprisingly small) hands. One said hand now leaving his waist to move his arm toward the stove.

The elder continues the lesson unaware of World War Three raging inside of Jisung. "While it's still cold you should feel for the stovetop eye you want to use. This is the first on the left and should work fine for ramyeon." Small hands guide him to the range helping him place the pot of water down before moving his hand to a plastic knob. 

"This turns on the heat, rotate it so the tip here is facing down towards your feet. There we go. And now we wait for the sound of the water boiling…"

Against all odds with Minho's help Jisung manages to prepare ramyeon for both of them, more surprising is the fact that he does it sporting a semi. Sitting at the table they slurp the salty noodles in silence, the only sound the occasional hum of satisfaction. 

Later he leaves their used dishes in the sink before joining the elder on the couch starting his typical movie listening routine by grabbing a blanket from the basket next to the couch. Sitting down he presses up against the side of his guest making a nest tucking the blanket around them, fluffing the pillows at their sides. The strong scent of spicy vanilla pulls him from his trance reminding him that his house guest is not Felix. Scrambling to put space between them he apologizes in a flurry of words. 

"Hyung I'm sorry! Normally Lixie and I sit like this and I didn't think, muscle memory took over.”

Hands that had guided him in the kitchen now attach themselves to his waist, sliding him back to Minho’s side. "Don't worry Sung-ah I’m not upset. You can act like normal." 

The warmth of the blanket returns, this time placed around them by the elder. Although Minho's hands are gone from him, the heat of their impression lingers burning through his clothes. Throwing caution to the wind he follows the instructions to "act normal” wiggling his bottom closer to his new neighbor. Using the voice function on the smart tv he starts the program he’s been waiting all week to watch.

Too soon the program wraps up with the sound of the voiceover drifting off. A twinge of sadness moving in as he figures Minho will be leaving. The warm body pressed against his shifts, but instead of moving away, Jisung finds his legs tangling with the elders jean clad ones.

"Do you do this often? Listen to documentaries?"

The man's honeyed voice is a balm to his wild emotions, his tense muscles relaxing at the sound, and he think he has got to get this attraction to Minho under control. For Christ's sake, you have a soulmate!

"I listen to them a lot! The animal ones are my favorite. I like being able to listen to the description and build an image in my head of what I think they look like. What I come up with is far from correct but it's fun.” 

His lungs freeze at the feeling of fingers tracing over the back of his hand before turning it over and lacing their two hands together. The pulse radiating from the elder matches his own. Fast, frantic. Does Minho feel it too?

"What other movies do you listen to?”

"O! I like Harry Potter and…"

They talk for hours on the couch, neither willing to end their time with the other. The ease with which they communicate comes as a relief to Jisung. Most days his anxiety is under control but often his simmering nerves still prevent him from connecting with others. Minho it appears is an exception. 

Their conversation flows naturally segueing into different topics and tangents. He learns the third year has three cats (Soonie, Doongie, and Dori) who currently lives with his Mom. He listens to Minho discuss his passion for dance and his dream to work as a choreographer at a major label. 

He wishes he could see Minho dance and tells him as much. The elder humbly pushes it off saying he isn’t much to watch. Jisung shares about growing up blind and the anxiety he developed in his early teens because of it. He speaks about the music teacher in elementary school who'd taken him under his wing fostering Jisung’s love for music. He describes the near-constant melodies playing in his mind and the lyrics that accompany them. 

Lost in conversation he finds himself drifting closer as the sensation of warmth fills him again. Occasionally patches of his skin touch Minho’s sending his nerves into a fit as they spark and fizzle from the contact. Again he’s struck by the feeling of completion.

What he doesn’t know is that Minho feels it too. The warmth, comfort, the inexplicable draw to Jisung as well. Doesn’t know that the elder is lost in the younger’s eyes listening to him talk about learning to play the guitar. He misses Minho leaning forward, inches away from his face before the man shakes his head pulling back. Jisung certainly wasn't aware of the words passionate and brilliant popping up on his skin hidden from sight by his clothes.

The sound of keys jingling in a lock has both of their heads turning.

 "Sungie! Chan and I brought you some- o... Minho-hyung?”

"Min-ah? What are you doing here? I thought you were out tonight.”

Jisung slides sideways creating space between the two. Unaware of the look of hurt on the elder's face. 

"I invited him over. Some guy on a scooter would have run me over if Hyung hadn't saved me." 

Hurried feet sound on the carpet leading to hands carding through his hair.

"Sungie were you hurt?”

"I'm fine, it was Minho-hyung who got scrapped up.”

The body next to him vacates the couch leaving nothing but a sad warm indention on the cushion. 

"This tiny scratch doesn’t count as getting hurt. It'll be healed by Monday but it's late and I should get going. Thanks for the ramyeon Jisung, I expect you to make it on your own next time.”

"Sungie? You helped cook?”

The obvious skepticism in Felix's voice makes him blush. "Hyung insisted I learn.”

Minho’s voice comes from behind the couch. “Making ramyeon is a rite of passage in Uni. I merely guided him around the kitchen.”

Chan joins them in the room. “Min-ah before you leave. Felix and I are going to Lotte World tomorrow, we’re inviting everyone from lunch. Do you want to come? Jisung, you’re invited too.”

Joy bubbles up inside of him. He hadn’t been to Lotte World since he was in middle school and was still too short to ride most of the attractions. “Minho-hyung pleeeeeease! You have to come!” Rolling over he leans across the back of the couch stretching out, teetering over the back blindly reaching for his newest Hyung. He knows he looks silly, arms stretched out for a person that might not be there but something inside he just knows that…

Hands find his followed by a body wrapping their arms around him. A chuckle bounces the chest he’s now leaning on. “Fine Sung-ah, if you insist I’ll go.”

Pouting he digs his forehead into the elder's chest while internally he dies from his behavior, where is all this courage coming from?!? “Don’t come if you don’t want to.”

Soft pats on his back bring his attention upwards. “I want to, it’ll be fun.” An evil cackle takes over. “Besides, I wouldn’t miss hearing Chan-hyung scream like a little girl on the roller coasters.”

Chan, who’d been watching the interaction with a mixture of shock and concern for his best friend sputters in indignation. “I will do no such thing!” Turning to Felix. “My scream is manly and dignified.”

The arms holding Jisung squeeze once more before pulling back. “Yeah, manly for a twelve-year-old girl, anyways, I’ll see you tomorrow Jisung-ah…thanks again for the ramyeon.” Jisung slides back on the couch forcing himself to allow the elder to leave. The familiar warmth accompanying Minho’s touch fades with his absence. The sound of the front door opening and closing followed shortly behind.

“Sungie…are you sure you’re ok? You didn’t get hurt with the fall?”

Sighing he rolls off the couch before folding the blankets they’d used during the movie. “Yeah, I’m good. Thankfully Hyung was there or it could have been pretty bad.”

“Do you think we should file a complaint? Let admin know about the guy?”

“Nah, there’s no way of knowing who it was. I think it’s best to drop it.” Lips press against the back of his neck before Felix tugs him into a hug.

“If that’s what you want. Are you ok if Chan spends the night?”

Poking at his friend's ribs he can’t help but tease him. “Sure, I’ve got my earbuds so I won’t hear you animals going at it.”

****

Laying back in his sheets Jisung pops his earbuds in right as a high-pitched whine passes through the walls of the apartment and into his room. Jesus! He was happy for his friend. Glad that Felix had found Chan and was exploring the wonderful world of sex and orgasms but damn if that boy wasn’t loud as fuck! The first night Chan had stayed over had taught him the necessity of earbuds. That night Jisung had left them in his backpack by the front door and had been forced to listen to Felix moan while begging Chan to fuck him harder. More than a little jealous, he’d ignored his raging hard-on because he refused to rub one out while listening to his best friend get the dicking-down of a lifetime.

Tonight however…speaking into his watch he instructs Siri to turn up the volume of the Lofi mix playing in his ears before closing his eyes and allowing his right hand and imagination to wonder.

Warm breath ghosts across his chest before hot lips seal around a nipple. Swallowing down a whimper he tried to remain quiet as teeth scrape across the hardened bud. Hands, firm but gentle traced down his sides before clamping down on his waist. His hips are pressed back into the sheets as a skilled tongue lavishes affection on his chest before moving south. Bites threatening to leave bruises trailing along his skin before settling on the inside of his thighs. Sharp teeth bite down, the sting instantly soothed by a wicked tongue. Moist, hot air looms over his aching cock, the head weeping pre-cum begging for attention. “Hyung…please, don’t tease me.” Minho’s voice, wrecked and strained answers from between his legs. “Sung-ah. You’ve been such a good boy for Hyung, I’ll give you what you want.” A wet mouth, hot and tight swallows down his pulsing length, his hips bucking up in desperation.

Biting harshly on his lips Jisung fights back the heady moan rattling around his chest, squeezing tighter he pulls upward twisting at the head of his cock with his lubed hand. Seconds from the edge of euphoria he imagines Minho’s lips pressed against his ear. A warm tongue licking across the lobe before whispering “Sungie…cum for Hyung, cum for me.” Those imagined words coupled with fisting his dick were enough to push him over the edge. The air from his lungs is forced out in a gasp as cum spills from him onto his hands and sheets. The heart racing in his chest slows as feeling creeps back into his limbs. It had been a while since he’d cum that hard. Was he pent up? Or was it perhaps the new person visiting his fantasies? 

Cleaning himself off with a tissue he considers just tossing the used Kleenex on the floor as exhaustion weighs him down, but, the odds of Felix finding them before he does are high so he rolls over stuffing them in the trash can next to the bed. Better safe than sorry. Felix may have an outlet for his sexual frustration but Jisung is still putting on a one-man show, a fact his friend didn’t need a crusty tissue reminder of.

Burrowing under the blanket his mind drifts to the object of his fantasy tonight. Minho. Wonderful, funny, smart, handsome Minho. After Felix had apologized to the elder Jisung had asked him to describe Minho. The words “Greek God” had been tossed around along with “impossibly straight nose, jaw that could cut glass and thighs for days.” Of course, Minho would be beautiful, one couldn’t cause so much drama by simply walking into the cafeteria if he weren’t.

Guilt chips away at his post-nut haze. Since meeting Minho his brain has been solely occupied by the male. Thoughts of his soulmate were forgotten, shoved into a dark corner of his mind. Intellectually he knew it was wrong, his body’s craving for the elder. But how could something so wrong feel so right? The hours they’d just spent together were a prime example. Everything about the two of them fit perfectly. Their personalities while opposites balanced each other out while just a glancing touch from Minho set his skin on fire. How? How could they not be meant for each other?  

Sleep fights him that night, hours melting away while his mind chases a phantom Minho through a maze. Hours later he finally slips into slumber with warm touches drowned in a honeyed voice playing on repeat.

****

“Minho-hyung!!!! Over here!”

Looking around Minho locates the voice cheerfully yelling his name, Felix, arms waving jumping in place trying to grab his attention.

“Jeongin, Seungmin…I see them.”

Turning away from the two men he’d driven to the theme park he heads to the cluster of people waiting for them by the front gate. Chan and him being the only two with cars had driven their parties separately to the park.

Getting closer he can see Hyunjin and Changbin wrapped around each other behind Felix, while Jisung, face tilted towards the sun stands to the right. The boy looking around when Chan calls out “There you guys are! We bought your tickets already.”

Mentally Minho has to scream at his feet to stop them from turning tail and running off. Jisung was looking in his direction and every cell in his body starts shouting for the man’s attention. The first year looks adorable with a large bucket hat pulled over dark hair. Wire glasses empty of lenses sit on his nose emphasizing his large doe eyes and round cheeks. A dark jean jacket and white shirt complete the boyfriend look up top while skin-tight black jeans hug a peachy butt and soft legs.

Seungmin cast him a vicious side-eye when a whimper escapes his throat. Fucking hell! The boy has no right to look so good. Making it past the crowd of visitors they join the second group. Disappointment smacks him in the face when Jeongin beats him to a compliment. 

“Hannie! You look so cute!”

The look of shock on Jisung’s face is precious as pink tints the boy’s tan cheeks. The younger mumbled a quiet “thank you” before lowering his eyes and face to the ground. Against his better judgment, Minho walks behind the two vocal majors to stand next to the blushing boy. Slowly to not scare him, Minho rests his hand on a jean-clad shoulder. The pink face lifts from the ground to look in his general direction. “He’s right you know. You look great.”

Jisung’s answering smile robs him of his ability to breathe. “Th-thanks Hyung. Felix helped pick it out and did some makeup.” The younger gestures weakly to his face. Minho’s hand tilts Jisung’s chin allowing him to better see Felix’s hard work. A light dusting of bronze shimmer sits on his eyelids while perfectly sculpted wings of eyeliner draw out the almond shape of the boy’s eyes. A pink tongue darts out drawing his gaze to rose petal lips shiny and completely kissable coated in tinted gloss.

The moment is broken when the pink tongue returns to its owner's mouth pulling the sweet lips into a grimace. “Bluck! I told him no gloss! I can’t stand the way it tastes.”

Laughter drifts over from the others as Felix moves to stand next to them. “You’re not supposed to eat it Sungie. Stop licking your lips and you won’t have anything to complain about. The gloss isn’t for you anyway. It’s to attract your soulmate so they want to kiss you.”

Jealousy, bitter and acrid fills his mouth. The thought of someone other than Minho claiming Jisung’s pouty lower lip has him counting backward from ten trying to calm his anger. Not for you, not for you, not for you plays on repeat in his mind. The seething emotions inside of him are a prime example of why he doesn’t get close to people, especially people he’s attracted to.

“We’re getting ready to go in. Sungie, do you wanna hold onto my sleeve?”

A stab of pain pinches his chest as the look of happiness wilts off Jisung’s face transforming into one of embarrassment. Brown eyes once sparkling in the sun are now clouded and glossy. Leaning closer he can just make out a few of the words angrily whispered between the two friends.

“Lix…should walk with Chan. Shouldn’t have come…I’m just a burd-“

“Stop…now! Don’t finish…not a burden.”

“First time here with your soulmate…should be up…not trailing behind…sure I don’t get lost.”

“Jisung I don’t mind. It’s-“

Minho’s good sense is no longer on vacation instead choosing to reside in an alternate universe. One where he’s bold enough to interrupt and say “I can walk with him.” Not waiting for a response he pushes between the friends slipping his hand into Jisung’s lacing their fingers together. 

The younger looks at him, mouth hanging open while Felix also speechless shifts his eyes between Minho, Jisung, and their clasped hands. 

The hand holding his squeezes. “Hyung, are you sure? I don’t want to bother you. I can’t walk as fast without tripping.”

He scoffs. “My legs are sore from practice this week, I can’t move fast either. As it is, this will allow Felix to be with Chan and if holding a pretty boy’s hand is a burden then it’s one I’m willing to bare.”

Minho can’t suppress his laugh as a flustered Jisung sputters in embarrassment before hiding his face in Minho’s shoulder. Muffled by his cardigan Minho could still make out the shy boy’s whine “Hyung! You can’t say stuff like that!”

Astounded by his lack of self-control he glances to Felix for help but stills at the look the male gives him. The younger’s eyes narrowed in suspicion flick between the two men, lips pulled into a tight frown. Quickly Minho schools his features into his patented frosty poker face.

Sensing the change in atmosphere Jisung pulls away from his shoulder addressing Felix. “Lixie I’m cool with this, go be with Channie-hyung.” The blond’s mouth opens and closes, words left unspoken before nodding his head, signature sunny smile returning.

“Ok, Sungie. Let me know if you change your mind and don’t miss me too much. No complaining when I don’t share my cotton candy later.” Blowing a raspberry at the two of them Felix cast one more questioning look in Minho’s direction before walking back to his soulmate.

Not wanting to hear any more apologies Minho starts following the group gently tugging Jisung’s hand. Guiding the blind man ends up being far easier than he would have thought. Steering the younger around lines of people or objects in the walkway is straightforward and effortless. The park being light on crowds helps considerably. Admittedly he’d spent some time on Naver researching information on blind persons in preparation. He’d read that often when one sense is weakened a person’s body can adapt amplifying the other remaining senses. He wonders if it was true for Jisung. The male seemingly has a sixth sense for people coming near him. Half of the time Jisung is already moving before Minho can guide him around an obstacle. The sweet man attached to his arm fascinates him. As stupid as Minho is for actively seeking alone time with the vixen it at least affords him more time to observe the younger (in a non-creepy fashion of course). 

Jisung’s mannerisms, personality, and charms have him bewitched. Every smile thrown his way sends his heart scraping against the ground begging for more. Of particular interest to Minho are the endless pools of unguarded expression that is Jisung’s eyes. The two orbs speak volumes even while the man attached to them stays silent. They’d spoken of desire after they’d passed a vendor selling candied nuts and hotteok. The sweet smell luring in hungry patrons had Jisung’s head turning, eyes blown wide in want. Disgustingly whipped Minho steers them to the vendor buying the younger a brown sugar walnut stuffed treat. His heart stops altogether as he watches sweet cherub cheeks become stuffed with food. He certainly hadn’t imagined licking the crumbs of sugar off soft glossy pink lips.

Minho couldn’t decide if the afternoon is heaven or hell. One moment it’s purgatory being inches from the man he’s fast beinning to wish was his own. Not able to touch, to kiss the way he wishes he could. The next minute is heaven as Jisung’s arms cling to him for safety as they ride the conquistador boat, the pendulum swinging back and forth, their screams mixing as the ride soars higher in the sky.

Nirvana he finds is basking in the glow of the Jisung’s affection as he buys them matching animal headbands. Minho’s a set of cat ears while the other’s are cat ears accented with a red bow. Jisung shyly seeking approval after Minho places the headband on him is so innocent, so pure it takes everything he has to reset the urge to pull the younger close, smothering him with promises of love and devotion.

It’s hell watching Jisung consume a large fried gamja-hotdog. The battered snack pushed deep into the other’s mouth sends Minho’s mind into the gutter, his cock half-hard before he can beat back the mental image of Jisung's lips wrapped around him. Watching a hot pink tongue lick away the mustard stuck to the corner of his mouth convinces the elder that the universe is indeed punishing him with the cock tease.

Despite knowing that getting closer to Jisung will only cause him heartache, Minho can't bring himself to regret spending the day together. Not when he gets to hold Jisung from behind as they ride down the flume ride or when the younger drags Minho’s hands in the air laughing as the Atlantis rollercoaster drops them multiple stories downward. 

Hours later the hand clasped in his drags him to a stop as they approach the bumper car arena, their friends shout staking claim on the color bumper car of their choice.

“Hyung, you go ahead and ride this one. I’ll wait here.”

Ah. As handicapped-friendly as the park is, this is one ride Jisung couldn’t operate. The thought of leaving him alone feels repulsive.

“Nah, I’m good. Don’t feel like driving one of those anyways.”

The oxygen in his veins evaporates as Jisung’s eyes hold him in place, peering up at him from under long thick lashes. “Are you sure Hyung? I don’t want to keep you from enjoying yourself.”

He doesn’t stop it, his body operating on auto-pilot brings the younger’s hand to his mouth. Placing a kiss on the knuckles of the hand he’s holding, fire spreads from his lips to his toes. “Sung-ah, I’ve had more fun today with you than I’ve had in years. Let’s skip this one and head to the arcade.” His pulse thunders in his ears as he brings Jisung’s hand down between them, anyone watching could take one look at the red lobes and tell he was nervous. Looking around he spots both Chan and Felix watching them from the bumper car ring. Chan’s eyes were large in shock while his soulmate’s were again narrowed in Minho’s direction. Fuck, this was going to be hard to explain away. In fact, the entire day had been a concert of Minho acting in odd behavior, he knew a sit down was looming. For now, however, fuck it.

Free hand cupped around his mouth he hollers over the noise of the park. “Hyung! We’re going to sit this one out! We’ll be in the arcade!” The two soulmates look at each other before Chan shrugs waving them off. “Ok! Have fun, we’ll meet you there after this!”

Pulling Jisung (who is still gaping at Minho like a fish) he heads towards the game center. Stepping inside the small building the riotous mixture of sounds from the park are dampened, replaced with the buzz of air conditioning and the tunes of classic arcade games. The humor is not lost on him that considering his history of frequent one-night stands he’s currently fighting a panic attack over an innocent peck on the back of a hand. O how the mighty whore has fallen. 

Weaving deeper through the maze of machines a flash of bright neon lights brings him to a stop. Looking at Jisung he hesitates…would it be awkward or weird to ask? 

“Hyung? Why did we stop? Are we at a game you want to play?”

Breath rushing out he figures he should just go for it at this point. “Um, actually…it’s a photo booth. Do you want-?”

The rest of his question is cut off by Jisung bouncing on the balls of his feet. “A photo booth?!? Yes! I want to take some pictures.”

A smile spreads across his face, the foolishness of his kiss long forgotten with the younger’s infectious excitement for the photo op. “It right ahead, come on.” Pushing the curtain blocking the entrance aside the two crowd into the small booth. Feeding a couple won into the machine he selects a few options before stepping back.

“Alright, it’s going to start counting down soon. I’ll count out loud with it. When I get to one strike a pose facing this way.” Reaching out he points Jisung’s chest and face towards the camera. “Just keep your eyes straight ahead and you’re looking directly into the camera.” Stepping back in his spot he almost misses the count too focused on the beautiful man in front of him.

“Here it goes!! Five, four, three, two, one!”

The click of a camera sounds inside the space.

“Next one is coming. Change it up! Five, four, three, two, one.”

Click.

“Again! Five, four, three, two, one!”

Click.

“This is the final one!”

Hands grab at his shoulders forcing him to turn into Jisung. “Hyung! For this one let’s look at each other. Help me! Move my face! Hurry!”

Quickly he directs the younger’s chin guiding his face up and to the right. Glancing at the screen he sees the timer counting down. 

“Five, four, three, two, one.” His gaze adrift in twin pools of dark chocolate his voice barely rises above a whisper. For a second time stands still and all rational thoughts flee him, his mind only capable of praying Jisung, Jisung, Jisung. It was magnetic, the pull between them. His body shifts forward of its own accord his eyes traveling south from doe eyes to glossy pink lips. Closer…closer…closer. As if Jisung can taste his intentions a pink tongue flicks out wetting the lips waiting for him.

At the last second a loud bang on the outside of the booth brings reality crashing home. Reeling backward Minho bumps against the wall of the cubical. A choir of giggles echoes from the opposite side of the curtain. Poking his head out ready to ream one of his friends he stops short as he spots a trio of young school girls blushing.

“Oppa! Are you and your mate finished?”

The whirl of the machine printing the photos and the chime of a bell signaling the completion of the process renders his answer useless. Looking back in the booth he finds Jisung, brow furrowed in confusion, hands pressed to his lips. Sighing he sends a silent prayer to the clouds thanking the universe for its intervention. What the hell was he thinking? Almost kissing Jisung. For a brief moment, he wonders, considers what it would be like to press their lips together and feel a soulmate bond slip into place. Dismissing the thought he sneers at himself. What a damn fool. Not for you…not for you…not for you.

“Sung-ah, you ready? I have the photos.”

The younger’s head snaps in his direction. “Yeah, let’s go.” A hand reaches for him bridging the gap between the two. Silently Minho meets him in the middle lacing their fingers together before guiding his ward from the booth. 

Stepping aside the group of girls enters after them a mess of giggles and flushed cheeks as they eye the two men.

“Here, this is yours.” Placing Jisung’s copy of the photos into the man’s open left hand Minho inspects his version of the photos. The first picture has him bursting with laughter.

“Hyung! How do they look?”

Between cackles, he manages to get out “They’re perfect! I love the squirrel face. When you puff your cheeks out you look exactly like a squirrel. It’s cute.”

Turning to the younger he sees the man’s near permanent blush return. “The second one is great too, we didn’t plan it but we both threw the same finger hearts sign. O! Good choice going with the flower petal hands for the third one but damn I look constipated in that one. You look like a rose. And the last…”

His voice trails off while his eyes drink in the final picture. Words are lost to him as he takes in the two of them looking at each other, they looked like lovers. Minho’s expression can only be described as soft, gentle, and filled with awe. Jisung’s eyes perfectly directed towards Minho are filled with stars. The boys face a mixture of wonder and…lust? To an outsider, they look like a perfect pair, both consumed, spellbound by the other.

A pang of longing reverberates deep in his ribs clawing up his throat, dragging with it the threat of tears. It hurts. Swallowing down the emotions he controls his voice. The younger looks at him expectantly, patiently waiting for the last review. “It ah- it- um, the last one is good! You look fine. Your eyes are focused on me and uh- yeah. Yeah, It’s a good one.”

Jisung smiles before focusing on the ground in his ridiculously shy manner, the coy action propelling Minho’s heart into a bizarre flippy flop motion. God Damn it! Gonna need to stab my eyes out at this rate. 

“Thanks Hyung. I know it doesn’t make sense but I love taking pictures. Most people don’t think to ask…so thank you.”

Unsure how to answer in a way that didn’t scream “You’re the most beautiful man in the world and a million pictures should be taken of you.”  He settles for “your welcome.”

Desperate to move on from the subject of the photos he’s about to ask the younger what arcade games he’s able to play when once again, Jisung’s eyes speak for him. The man’s head turns to the left, eyes narrowed before blowing wide as the sound of muffled singing reaches them. Unable to react Minho finds himself being guided by the blind man for the first time, helpless except to follow along, drug by a firm hand and determined steps. A large flashing sign for noraebang looms close by.

The man pulling on him slows as they get closer and for the first time, Minho has the full fury of Jisung’s pleading eyes directed at him. And yep, there’s no resisting these! Jisung could ask him for anything, everything, and Minho would happily offer it up.

“Can we please do noraebang?”

Minho’s wallet is out before Jisung can finish asking the question. Resistance is futile.

“Let’s do this…”

____

Later that night while attempting to wrestle his hectic brain into sleep Minho will recognize that it wasn’t after he stole a bite of Jisung’s hotteok, or during the rollercoaster ride, his face buried in the younger neck as he screamed. Surprisingly it also wasn’t after looking at the fourth photo from the booth. No. The moment it was over, the instant he knew he’d lost the fight to resist falling for Jisung came during the noraebang. His heart threw the metaphorical white flag while he watched the younger spit absolute fire rap verses into a cheap plastic-wrapped microphone. Jisung scored 100 with Agust D’s Daechwita and scored 1000 with Minho’s heart.

******

Sometimes life changes with a big bang. A blinding flash or one large cataclysmic action that forever irrevocably changes how a person thinks or feels. New habits or tastes develop overnight leading an individual to enjoy new things for the first time. Change is welcomed with open arms, inviting growth, and development. It wasn’t like that for him and Minho. The change in Jisung’s life was gradual, slow…educational? Scattered piece by piece the elder is slowly sprinkled into the fabric of his life. A stray thread here or there, easily incorporated into the tapestry that becomes Jisung’s day-to-day life. 

One day Minho shows up at his apartment door accompanied by snacks and a new documentary on Elephants. The next week finds the elder insisting he walk Jisung to class every morning after the dancer’s morning jog. Spread out across the next month Jisung’s life becomes entwined with the elders, blended perfectly, he isn’t sure when his previous life ended and his new life with Minho began.

He couldn’t tell you the date he offered Minho a spare key to their dorm room because it wasn’t a big deal. It was natural, the elder’s apartment was too far away to get to safely when exhausted from nonstop dance practice. Sleeping next to the senior is second nature after their fourth movie night falling asleep together on the couch. The first time waking in Minho’s arms had been jarring but after realizing whose chest he was sleeping on, Jisung had snuggled deeper and passed back out. One day it seemed as if Minho and Chan had all but moved in. Minho into Jisung’s room and Chan into Felix’s. Dinner has gradually stopped being ramyeon and takeout, instead turning into home-cooked Korean staples and if Minho was in an especially good mood, beef Wellington.

Jisung couldn’t pinpoint when it happened but eventually, he stopped asking Felix to read his new impression marks. His best friend stops offering after the third “no thank you.” Sometimes he knows when a new word appears, his friends reading them out loud if the skin they rested on is exposed that day. It’s not like the words didn’t matter anymore, not like his soulmate stopped being important. But as time passes without him being approached, Jisung’s attention naturally shifts to the people who are in his life. Namely, one Lee Minho.

But as wonderful as life has become; their friend group closer than ever, his classes going well, his grades excellent, his music reaping stellar reviews from his professors. As great as it all is…Jisung is frustrated. It’s a mixture of frustration and guilt he’s feeling at the current moment. Parked on a bench sitting in the sun he sucks on the straw of his iced americano. A treat from Minho before the male had run off to attend his senior seminar course. Jisung’s annoying conglomeration of emotions is also a gift from the senior. 

Given Minho’s unmated status, he feels guilty for wanting more from their friendship but his desire is uncontrollable. The drive to want more is a constant itch he can’t scratch. The ever-present wish to connect their hands, their lips, their…well everything, is driving him crazy. His showers have grown longer as he’s finally got the hang of the dildo he’d bought online before school started. Suction cupped to the wall he controls the pace fucking back on it, his whimpers and cries for more silenced by the washcloth stuck in his mouth. His “happy time’ in the bathroom is the only real privacy he has anymore seeing as how the evil cocktease formerly known as Minho sleeps in his bed most nights.

Waking up next to the man of his dreams is a bizarre mixture of heaven and hell. The occasional morning wood is a solid indicator that Minho could satisfy all of Jisung’s needs yet also never will. Never being the operative word. Because Minho doesn’t date, ever, the male is unbelievably strict with this policy. The growing friendship between the two gives Jisung a front-row “view” of the obscene number of propositions the elder receives. It’s happened at the cafe, the grocery, again in the cafeteria, the park, in between classes, the athletic store, and once in the restroom of a bookstore. People are crazy about Minho (not that he blames them really), he is too. 

Jisung’s used to it at this point, secretly taking a sick sense of pleasure in listening to Minho shoot down each request for the soulmate game. The occasional surprise happens where the person forgoes the game and heads straight to proposing they fuck. The first time took Jisung so off guard he’d choked on the half-chewed boba pearl in his milk tea. Minho, gracious as ever declined the offer in favor of pounding on Jisung’s back forcing the boba pearl out of his windpipe and onto the face of the stranger seeking Minho’s affection. Jisung had slid under the table in embarrassment while the elder laughed so hard he’d peed a little.

These frequent bouts of rejection are the exact reason Jisung holds back from shooting his shot. Yep, suffering in silence is his life at this point while he tries to come up with ideas to subtly woo the senior into loving him. But exactly how does one get the most unobtainable person on earth to view them as something more than the close friend they’ve come to see them as? Their tight friendship is a double-edged sword because now Jisung is not only faced with conquering Minho’s “no dating policy” but also tasked with escaping the dreaded “friend zone”. A zone he'd been securely placed in during a trip to the mall.

Stunning the younger with the question, it had been the only time Minho had brought up Jisung’s soulmate. Since their first meeting a month prior the dancer had seemed content to pretend soulmates didn’t exist. Minho never mentioned the soulmate impressions Jisung knew appeared and disappeared regularly on his skin. Granted he’d never been nude in front of the other, so maybe the male hadn’t gotten a good look. 

The first red flag for the friend zone came flying when Minho insisted Jisung sit in the changing-room stall while the male tried on different clothes. Blind and unable to sneak a peek Jisung was not a threat and not a romantic interest. The next flag had been the question asked between the thump of jeans hitting the floor and new pants being slid up muscular legs.

“Sung-ah. I haven’t heard you play the soulmate game before. Has yours still not approached you?”

God-smacked by the random question it’d taken a few minutes to finally get out that ‘no, his soulmate had not approached him’ despite the constant flow of impressions on his skin. The final red flag is the elder’s long pause leading to “Maybe you should try asking people…you deserve to be happy Jisung-ah.”

In that moment he’d wished he was brave enough to follow his heart. Courageous enough to pin the dancer to the wall of the changing room and show him exactly how happy Jisung already was. Alas, it was not meant to be. If looking up coward in the dictionary one would find a photo of Jisung.

The gurgle of too little coffee paired with small chips of ice yanks him into reality. Damn empty already. As much as he didn’t need more coffee, he wanted it. Wanted the distraction of the itchy jittery buzz of too much caffeine to save him from obsessing about tonight. 

Tonight is the first phase of his three-part plan to seduce Minho. Jisung figures that if he couldn’t work up the courage to make a move on the senior then he will have to tempt the elder into taking action. The plan is still in the works considering tonight is the most he’s come up with, but so far everything was going perfectly. Convincing their friends to celebrate Jisung and Felix’s birthdays at Minho’s favorite club in Hongdae had been easy. The plan was to be at the club at 11 pm ensuring Felix’s first legal drink at midnight.

A splash of booze, a bit of leather clothing, add in a few shimmies of his ass, and BAM! Minho would be helpless to resist. Operation seduce Minho and get that massive dick has the green light.

The sound of students milling around has him slapping the face of his watch. What time is it? The robotic voice calls out “Friday, September 14th, 1730 hours” sending him leaping up from the bench. Unfolding his white cane he takes off towards the dorms the familiar tap tap leading the way. He’d wasted two hours wading threw his muddy thoughts. He hoped no one had seen him sit for so long mumbling to himself.

Pushing into the apartment he calls out for Felix. He’d begged his bestie to help him get ready for the club, making the younger pinky promise to have Jisung looking fuckable. Normally the first to volunteer for dressing him up, his long-time friend had been hesitant and it didn’t take a genius to know why. To the casual observer, everything on the surface looked fine but Jisung could tell Felix had unspoken opinions about his friendship with Minho. Could feel the silent tension present whenever Felix and Minho were in the same room with Jisung.

He doesn’t think Minho is aware of it but having known Felix for years, the proverbial elephant in the room is obvious. Never one to mince words he’s surprised Felix hasn’t tried to sit him down and talk it out yet. His guess is the hesitancy has something to do with Chan. Maybe his Hyung had convinced Felix to let it go or perhaps Felix simply didn’t want to rock the boat. Whatever it was, he’s grateful for it. Already painfully aware of why getting involved with Minho is at the very least a terrible idea, if not impossible, he doesn’t need nor want the lecture. Doesn’t need one more person or obstacle in his path telling him what he can’t do with his life.

Nineteen years spent limited by his biology and fate and he’s tired of it. His heart wanted Minho and he’d be damned if he didn’t give it a shot. A very slow, well-planned, carefully thought out, all chances of being rejected avoided shot.

“Sungie!” Felix’s voice grows louder as he enters the living room from his bedroom. “You were supposed to be home an hour ago. How can you expect me to do my best work under these conditions?!? Rome wasn’t built in a day! Go get in the shower and no, there is not enough time for you to fuck that toy again!”

Flushed with fear of being found out he glares towards the voice hollering at him. “Shut the fuck up! What if someone hears you?”

Deep laughter fills the room. “Chan’s at his place don’t worry. Apparently, he and Minho’s club outfits haven’t migrated here yet. They’re going to meet us there.”

Slumping in relief he leaves his backpack and cane by the front door. He needs to get new friends.

“Here, drink this before you get in the shower.” A chilled shot glass is shoved in his hand.

“What is this?”

“Chan left a couple of bottles of peach soju. We’re pre-gaming!”

Strike his previous thought…his current friends are perfect.

Five hours, three bottles of soju, and two wardrobe changes later he and Felix stumble out of their taxi a block from the club. Only slightly buzzed he shivers in the wind waiting for the other to finish paying for the ride. Blindness plus alcohol can be a lethal combination so he always takes care to limit his booze intake. A small hand tucks into the crook of his elbow before guiding him down the sidewalk.

A high whistle sounds next to him. “Damn Sungie! The line for this place is wrapped around the block! Thank God Minho knows the owner and got us on the shortlist.”

Speaking of…”Hey Lixie. When we get to the front will you describe what everyone is wearing? How they look?”

His friend snorts. “Everyone? You sure you don’t mean just Minho-hyung?”

Jisung chokes at the blatant statement. “Uh-well, ya know…”

The hand on his elbow gripes tight before pulling him to a stop.

“Sungie, I’ve tried to stay out of it but I can’t. I’m worried. I think-“

Interrupting is rude but he knows where the other is going with this. “Felix stop! Don’t you think I know? I know liking Hyung is a bad idea. I’m doomed to fail before I can even start. I’m blind but I’m not stupid.” His voice cracks with his last word. The sting of unrequited affection burns at the corners of his eyes.

“Jisung-ah…”

“I can’t help it Lix. I know I have a soulmate waiting for me but I can’t spend the rest of my life wondering “What if I’d tried”. 

Arms wrap around him pulling him chest to chest with the younger. “I’m just-Minho is-“. Unable to finish he rests his forehead on a boney shoulder.

“I’m sorry Sungie. I didn’t realize how bad you had it for him. You know I want you to be happy right? I just think it’s cruel to lead him on. Your soulmate is crazy about you and they’ve never even spoken to you. Hell, they probably don’t realize it’s you yet. Now imagine when you two finally meet. All of that love and devotion will be focused on you. You’re stubborn Jisung but I don’t think you'll be able to fight it. Minho will be forced to watch you fall in love with another person…the person you’re meant for.”

Tsk. “You’re convinced Hyung likes me back. Worried about his heart but in reality I know how Minho feels.”

“You do?”

“He made it clear the other week. He…he told me I should be playing the soulmate game. Said I should be searching for my mate.”

“He said that?” Skepticism drips from his friend’s words.

“Yep.” Standing up straight Jisung adjusts his shirt before fanning his face trying to dry the tears threatening to spill over. “All this. The make-up and clothes. This is my last-ditch attempt to get his attention. Convince him to want me…that I’m worth it.”

“O Sungie!” Small hands cup his cheeks wiping away the dregs of his tears. “My sweet Sungie. You’re absolutely worth it! You’re the sweetest, kindest, prettiest baby ever! Fuck Minho if he can’t see that! You look like sex on legs tonight, let’s get you into that club and men will be lining up to dance with you.”

He lets out a wet laugh. “You think?” Soft lips press a kiss against his cheek.

“I know so.”

“And what if Hyung is one of those men?”

“I don’t know Sungie, but I’ll be here no matter what happens. I’m your first soulmate remember? Now come on, it’s time to party!” The hand on his face moves to his arm tugging him along. “That’s enough sad talk for the night, let’s get in there, get some drinks and shake our asses! O shit!”

Stopping abruptly Jisung runs into Felix’s back. “What is it?”

“Everyone is by the front door and damn is my man looking fine! Not sure which parent he got that booty from but baby got back! And- WOW! Minho-hyung brought his A game too.”

“What?! What is he wearing!? How does he look!?”

“I would think you two coordinated if I hadn’t picked your outfit out myself. He’s wearing black Chelsea boots, leather pants, and fuck his thighs are thicker than ever. His shirt is red like yours, it’s a button-down that looks like silk. His hair is definitely getting longer and it’s parted over his forehead. He put makeup on but it’s pretty light, very natural.”

“Fuck he sounds sexy as hell.” 

Felix laughs before pulling him forward again. “Minho looks hot as fuck but he’s not the person everyone in line is staring at.”

“People are staring? At who?” The hand on his arm grips tightly.

“Jisung…people are staring at you.”

****

Standing next to Chan by the door Minho watches as the people waiting in line began whispering to each other before turning to peek down the sidewalk. Following their gaze he double-takes at the sight of Jisung and Felix approaching the front of the club.

“Fuck.”

The word springs from his lips before Minho can think to wire his jaw shut. An appreciative whistle from Chan joins his expletive while they take in the two men heading their way. His brain glitching at the sway of Jisung’s leather-clad hips. Jisung is standing taller than normal helped by platform boots with two-inch lifts. Minho’s mouth dries as his mind conjures the image of long tan legs draped across his shoulders, the heel of those boots digging into his back as the owner begs for more.

Without thinking he latches on to Chan’s arms grabbing hard enough the man tries to pull away. “Min-ah damn! Chill the fuck out.”

Normally he’d serve the elder with a frosty glare cold enough to freeze fire but his mind is too occupied by the culmination of every wet dream he’s ever had walking up to him. Fucking Christ! Leather pants so tight they appear liquid draw his eyes upward. He’d always known Jisung’s waist was tiny. More than once in the earliest hours of the dawn he’d awoken to find himself wrapped around the sweet boy, that tiny waist lovingly held in his arms. However seeing it now has every cell in his body begging Minho to fall to his knees and mouth at the inch of tan skin visible above the low-slung pants.

A sheer black mesh shirt covers his torso. Through the fabric, Minho can just make out the blurry shape of a soulmate impression tattooed across a ribcage. A red micro crop top just long enough to cover Jisung’s nipples polishes off the outfit. The younger’s trademark doe eyes have been turned into weapons of mass seduction with smokey shades of eye shadow paired with wings of smudged eyeliner. Minho no longer wants to see innocent pools of molasses blown wide in pleasure. He wants, no needs that gaze of desire focused on him half-lidded with lust while daring the elder to disobey. In this fantasy he would crawl, scraping across the ground for just a few seconds of Jisung’s attention.

A cat whistle from the line of persons waiting to enter the club wrenches him from his haze. The queue of hungry eyes raking over his Jisung forces him into action. Ignoring the warning bells ringing in his mind he strides forward pulling the younger into a tight hug. His hands roam possessively over the male’s back before landing on the dip right before the start of perfectly shaped ass cheeks.

“Jesus Sung-ah. You’re going to start a riot looking like this.”

A light giggle tickles the soft skin on his neck. “I’ll take that as a compliment Hyung.”

Landing a soft smack to the birthday boy’s peachy bottom Minho levels his most glacial glare in the direction of the club’s line before stepping back. The cold message silently conveyed to anyone watching “Mine”. Fusing his hand to a leather-clad hip he directs Jisung into the club. Powerful waves of techno tied with a heavy base greets them at the door sweeping over the group. He feels Jisung’s spine stiffen at the overriding beat.

Lips inches from the younger’s ear he still has to shout to be heard. “You alright? It’s quieter at our table but we can leave if you need.”

The head of wavy black hair shakes a negative before leaning back against his shoulder. A dull fire ignites at the miles of tan skin running along the man’s throat tempting Minho. Lips press against his ear sending his heart into double time.

“I’m all good Hyung. It was a bit overwhelming at first but now it’s settled.”

Scared his voice will crack he can only nod. Hand tight on Jisung’s hip, he leads them to the back corner where the rest of their group is posted up. Loud cheers of “Happy Birthday” welcome them upon arrival. Fighting with himself Minho releases the birthday boy allowing their friends to congratulate both Jisung and Felix. The cheer of “shots, shots, shots” soon drowns out the DJ as drinks get shoved into empty hands.

Eyes pinned to Jisung, Minho tosses back his shot, the burning rush of the liquor soothing until he chokes at the scene in front of him. The younger's lips wrap around the rim of a shot glass stretched in an "O" as he takes it down hands-free. Their friends and even a few on-lookers yell appreciatively at the sight. The image of strawberry lips stretched tight while Jisung's throat bobs around his swallow has the familiar tingle of arousal sparking in his abdomen. The slow burn of lust is a well-known companion at this point.

It had been over a month since he'd surrendered to his inexplicable need to be around the beautiful freshman. The day trip to Lotte World signaled his descent into madness. Because that’s what getting attached to Jisung is, pure, total madness. It’s hours spent staring at the man's face while Minho “watches” animal documentaries. It was quiet moments spent listening to him breathe as the rhythm of Jisung's chest rocks Minho to sleep. It’s the soft joy that blooms in his chest every time a heart-shaped smile is tossed his way. It’s the searing heat that brews under his skin as he watches the blind boy enjoy food as if each meal delivered the best orgasm he's ever known. It’s the silent agony of his heart shattering every time he remembers that one day this will all end.

The phantom shadow of the man's soulmate lingers in every room...in every touch. The rate impression words appear and disappear from Jisung's skin makes it clear the person is close. Minho still refuses to read them, choosing instead to unfocus his vision anytime his eyes land on a word. What’s mind-boggling is how the two haven’t managed to meet yet. Jisung's soulmate is clearly infatuated yet still hasn't introduced themself to the boy.

Not that Minho is complaining, the longer the soulmate stays absent is more time Minho gets to spend with Jisung. But no matter how much pleasure he gets from their alone time, he can't help the little scratch of guilt permanently itching the back of his throat. What if his constant presence is a factor in the absentee soulmate? What if he is getting in the way of Jisung's happiness? They'd become extremely close and he's never witnessed the boy approach anyone. It had crushed him to do it but he'd even suggested Jisung try playing the soulmate game with people. The sweet boy wanted to find his soulmate... everyone did.

Some days Minho feels crazy, his insides shaken and tangled from the perpetual swinging of his emotions. One moment high from contact with the sweetest soul the world had ever offered to the next broken, hollow with the recognition that this too shall pass. This brief glimpse of happiness, of peace offered through the subtle brush of Jisung's skin against his. At times his depression returns loud and angry. Once happy to sit on the peripheral the illness now chooses to bang at the glass doors of his mind. Worse still is that on those days the only balm to the darkness is Jisung. The incandescent light of the boy's kindness the only sufficient force to keep the demons at bay.

Even now, surrounded by his friends and next to the man he cares for, Minho feels the pull. The draw to fold inward and collapse, to surrender every warm thought and submit to the hurt...the fear. Desperate to change course he snags two shots off the table, ignoring Chan's questioning gaze he chokes them down, one after the other. He can do this, could hold it together for one more night. 

Like an addict seeking his fix, he snakes in between his friends claiming Jisung's left side as his own. His heart flutters as the beautiful male lost in conversation with Jeongin doesn't hesitate to slip his arm around Minho's waist, hooking a long finger into a belt loop. The maknae's soulmate Seungmin also joins the conversation.

"Innie is not just being polite Jisung! You look amazing, that outfit is hot as fuck!”

If it were anyone else denying their good looks Minho would think them needlessly conceited, fishing for compliments. As it was, Jisung truly doesn't know how handsome he is. The boy's shy blush whenever receiving praise never fails to tip Minho’s imagination into dangerous territory. His thoughts race down a road where instead of telling the younger how beautiful he is, Minho shows him. Shows the man how beautiful his pleasure-induced tears would be. How hypnotizing a stifled moan followed by cries of more could be.

The blind man's response catches him by surprise bringing his mind back from the gutter.

"Thanks, Minnie I asked Felix for something red since it's my favorite color.”

Looking at the couple Minho is relieved to see his confusion mirrored in the faces of the vocal majors.

Seungmin is the first to work up the courage asking “Red? How- how is red your favorite color?”

“Well, it’s technically the only color I’ve seen, but it was beautiful.”

Minho blinks looking at the other’s surprised faces. “Seen? Sung-ah what do you mean?”

The boy turns to him eyes wide. “Um- Well- It was my…my-”

A small hand slams an empty shot glass on the table. “It was his soul,” hiccup* “Soulmate dream right Sungie. I was there for it.” From behind Felix engulfs Jisung in a hug, the gesture forcing the arm around Minho’s waist to move. What number shot was that?

“Tell ‘em Sungie! I remember you woke up freaking out.”

Several emotions flit across Jisung’s face from fear to panic ending with apologetic eyes sent in his direction. Minho’s spine locks up.

“My soulmate dream. For the first and only time, I had sight. They were-“ Jisung’s eyes turn from him, the boy's face dipping low. “They were bleeding, they’d been hurt. I saw their blood. After I woke up Felix told me the color of blood is red. That’s why it’s my favorite. My soulmate showed it to me.”

Felix lets out a drunken snort. “Should have seen him guys. He woke up yelling and grabbing himself. Thought he was the one bleeding!”

A series of awe-inspired comments ring out in the group. Leaning around Felix, Minho taps Jisung’s shoulder before his attention is stolen again. “That’s super cool Sung-ah. Being able to see.” 

The rollercoaster of his emotions starts its first climb of the night with jealousy soaring inside of him. 

Stepping back he’d almost made it away from the group before Hyunjin stops him. “Hyung? You ok?”

Jisung’s head snaps in their direction. “I’m good. Just gonna find the bathroom. I’ll catch up with you all later.” He doesn’t stick around to see Jisung’s reaction instead pushing his way through the mass of sweaty bodies. Stumbling into the restroom he makes it to a stall locking the door before sitting down, face buried in his hands. The roller coaster starts its free fall to the ground. 

Minho knows he’s a mess. A mess of feelings he should never have allowed to develop. Jealously is the strongest, made worse by the fact that not only is he jealous of Jisung’s soulmate but of Jisung as well. He thinks back to his sixteenth birthday, waking up the next morning and realizing there’d been no soulmate dream. Nothing can compare to the pain of realizing you’re meant to be alone. To be forever cast aside by others when their perfect match comes along. A passing sideshow attraction meant to entertain and distract until the main event appears. Back then he’d have given anything to have a soulmate dream, even a scary one filled with blood. Hell, even after years of therapy focused on self-acceptance there were days he would still trade it all. Give it all to have a single person placed on this earth meant to love him, to know him better than anyone. 

Years had passed with Minho standing on the street corner of life. Years spent open hand extended, heart exposed while he hustled, begged passing strangers for affection. He’d given up, lost hope in ever being happy, and embraced the solitude that came with floating alone in the vast sea of people. And then had came Han Jisung. A boy whose smile made his heart sing, whose touch sent ripples of warmth over him. Minho had never wanted anything as bad as he wanted to be Jisung’s. To be able to hold, kiss, to love. Fate's cruel final act, delivering the perfect soul into Minho’s lonely arms, a countdown starting at their first touch. Their time was running out, always had been.

Despite knowing better over the past month the seed of hope had grown inside of him. As much as it hurt, tonight was the reminder he needed. Minho could offer nothing but his love, his deepest affections but it would never be enough. Who was he to compete with the person who’d given Jisung sight? Who’d gifted the boy’s dark world with the vision of color. There was no future for the two of them, it existed only for Jisung.

His vision clears as the heavy bass of the club's music increases as the door to the bathroom opens. A person or persons going off the number of shoes enters the stall to the right of him. A deep groan from the new neighbors has him rushing from his hiding spot. At the sink he splashes a bit of water on his neck, the chill helping to bring his racing thoughts under control.

Shit, how long have I been in here? Hopefully, the group is drunk enough not to notice the extended absence. Tucking a wayward hair behind his ear he ignores the slap of skin against skin coming from the far side of the room. A final glance in the mirror shows him that the panic from earlier is gone leaving behind the fine lines of exhaustion. He's tired. So fucking tired. 

Walking from the bathroom he heads in the direction of their booth. Jisung will understand if he leaves early right? Minho can always use the excuse of dance practice to garner sympathy. Approaching the table he comes to a stop noticing the lack of bodies. Eyes meet his growing in surprise as Jeongin separates himself from Seungmin's lips.

"Hyung! There you are. Everyone is out on the dance floor, we stayed behind to watch the table. Wait a minute..." Jeongin peers around Minho. "Where did Jisung go? He was waiting for you.”

Seungmin losing patience grabs the boy's neck pulling him close before dismissing Minho with a quick. "Jisung said he'd meet you at the bar.”

Fighting his way through bodies packed tight by the bar felt like crawling through quicksand. Silently he sends a prayer of thanks when he spots a familiar wooden bar top and a pair of leather-clad legs he would recognize anywhere. Wrestling free from the sea of people he comes up behind Jisung right as a large hand reaches around the male cupping the man's ass. The owner of said hand is in front of Jisung saying "My first impression of you was this ass.”

Red lights swim in his vision. With his right hand, Minho removes the offending limb twisting the man's wrist into a sick angle. His left arm threads itself around Jisung's tiny waist before violently tugging him backward into Minho's chest. A growl deeper than he would have thought possible rumbles from his chest. "He is taken."

A sharp gasp leaves Jisung and suddenly the younger is melting into him, body pressed flush to Minho’s.

Mr. Grabby hands wrenches his wrist away before sizing Minho up. The guy is taller but thin and lacking muscle. Muscle which Minho has in spades, that and a crazy look in his eye. The stranger must not have liked his odds because after a few beats he turns to Jisung spitting "Shouldn't dress like a whore if you're mated up" before getting lost in the crowd of people watching them.

Relaxing against the man in his arms Minho spins Jisung around eyes searching for any signs of discomfort. "Sung-ah. Why didn't you stay at the table? What if I hadn't found you?”

Glassy eyes paired with a lazy smile look up at him. Jesus, how many shots has he drunk?

"Knew you would find me Hyung...you'll always find me." 

Minho's heart skips a beat, the younger's words coupled with the pure adoration shining from his eyes enough to crowd out the elder’s earlier panic. The sweetness turns into a pout as Jisung smushes his face against Minho's chest. "Where were you? I wanted to dance with you.”

Minho is a weak weak man. Pulling Jisung close he envelops the man in his hold while peppering his scalp with kisses. "I'll dance with you but only if you promise to drink water afterwards.”

With Jisung’s nod of agreement, Minho leads them back into the mass of bodies towards the dance floor. Heart racing like a hummingbird he brings them to an empty spot near the side of the DJ. Minho’s mind is shouting mistake, mistake, but his heart's cries of mine, mine are louder. Louder than his conscience, louder than the throng of people in the club, louder than the DJ. MINE, MINE, MINE. 

He’s fucked up so much already…would crossing one more line make the difference? Turning around he takes in the vision that is Jisung. The man’s leather-clad hips already swaying to the sultry bass booming around them. Temptation stares him in the face and still he hesitates. Frustration flashes across Jisung’s features right before Minho finds his decision to dance taken from him. Confident hands jerk him forward bringing the two together. The club’s music drowns out his pathetic gasp upon feeling his chest pressing against Jisung’s. Unbidden his left leg slots itself between the younger’s while his hands instinctively move to a waist that’s busy writhing to a chaotic beat.

Warm hands grip his neck dragging his ear to Jisung’s mouth, shivers wrack his spine as velvet lips brush against the shell of his ear. “It’s my birthday Hyung, all I want is to dance with you…please.” The last word was spoken with a soft whiney edge Minho is helpless to resist. So he doesn’t, he gives in, and submits to whatever the connection between them is.

Hands no longer passive he grips Jisung's peachy ass, the action thrusting his leg deeper into the V of the man's hips. He feels rather than hears a breathy moan escape the lips still hovering close by. His body’s natural rhythm takes over as he begins leading the man in his arms, his hips guiding them in a sinful pattern to match the beat of the club's techno.

His cock twitches as Jisung's hot breath leaves his ear traveling south to the delicate skin on his neck. The friction of their gyrating hips makes it impossible to keep his lower half uninterested. Fucking Hell. His control snaps. 

Weeks of pent-up desire overwhelm him as demanding hands tug on the strands of his hair. Flipping Jisung around he paints himself across the man's back. The growing hardness in his pants pushes flush to the cleft of two ass cheeks coming together. A perfectly timed skip in the music allows him to hear the younger's answering moan. Lust pulses through him, a need for Jisung, a hunger where every part of him burns hot for the man in his arms. Fuck, he is fully hard now. 

Jisung surrenders his weight to Minho, his head tilting back to rest on the elder's shoulder. Their hips rock in perfect syntonization to the beat. The rhythm of the bass is the perfect imitation of slow fucking into the younger. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Jisung's head tilt before hungry lips find his throat. His knees buckle at the sensation of the younger mouthing against his skin.

"Fuck baby.”

He would like to think the music masks his words but the stutter from Jisung's hips tells him the man heard it. Goosebumps break out as soft lips turn to punishing teeth tattooing small bites in their wake. Leaving the smallest waist he's ever held Minho's hand blaze a path upwards. His palms massaging tight abs, his fingertips tap dancing across ribs before slipping underneath the crimson micro-crop top finding their treasure. Two perfect nipples already hard, crying for his attention. Too turned on to give a fuck about public decency he twist the nubs. The sharp cry Jisung emits has him close to creaming his pants. So that's what he sounds like?

Minho’s never been so turned on in his life. Still punishing the man's chest he latches his lips to Jisung's throat. Right hand abandoning the nipple in its grasp to grab the other's inner thigh inches from the bulge in the man's pants. The new position gives him the perfect leverage to rock the younger into his erection. 

A whimper from Jisung breaks Minho's focus, his eyes flicking up to catch sight of the people dancing around them. He sees the hungry eyes of strangers watching their show as they all but fuck on the dance floor. He knows they look good together, his larger frame complementing Jisung’s smaller one. He knows because he has envisioned this, the two of them together many times. Imagined what it would look like, Jisung lost in pleasure as Minho pistons into the tight ring of his ass. He’d pictured the younger’s head thrown back, chest heaving much like it is now. Fantasied about the boy’s sounds, high whimpers chased with throaty moans. Pictured the tears Jisung would cry as Minho brings him to the edge of reason again and again.

The illusion is smashed when the man in his arms turns around. The bulge in Jisung’s pants brushes against his own, the pressure causing his hips to involuntary buck forward. The younger’s hands land on his cheeks holding Minho’s face still. Looking over the man's shoulder his gaze is caught by Chan’s, his friend’s mouth hanging open in surprise. His eyes return to Jisung as time slows to a crawl. Like witnessing a car crash, he can see it coming but is powerless to stop it. The palms holding his cheeks press harder as the younger leans into him, lips opening slightly as they follow their collision course to Minho’s. Alarm bells screaming in his mind he watches rose pink lips move closer until only a fraction of space separates them. 

Fight or flight kicks in dumping adrenaline into his nervous system. Panic has him overcompensating with force as he shoves Jisung away at the last second, the taste of the younger’s breath sitting on his tongue. Caught off guard Jisung stumbles backward into the spectators. The swell of the crowd pushes him back into Minho’s waiting arms. Ignoring the look of hurt in Jisung’s eyes Minho moves back keeping the younger at arms length. Head on a swivel he locates Chan in the crowd again and this time he notices Felix standing next to his friend. He heads in their direction pulling Jisung behind him. They’re just a few feet from the couple when he feels the hand he’d been holding ripped from his grasp. 

His chest aches as he turns to find Jisung standing in the crowd. Gathering the male in his arms he leans close to the other’s ear. “It’s hot Sung-ah, I need a breather. I- we both need to cool down.” Out of the corner of his eye he sees Felix moving in their direction, a glass of water in hand. “Felix is here.”

Stepping away he doesn’t wait for Jisung’s reply before exiting out the side door of the club. Collapsing against the brick wall he tries to slow his frantic breaths. What the fuck was he thinking!? Minho had done a lot of shitty things in the pursuit of selfish desire but taking advantage of a drunk friend? This is the worst. Delusion tainted with lust tells him Jisung had wanted it too, had asked for it even. But Minho knows the truth; Jisung is saving himself for his soulmate. 

Weeks prior he’d overheard the freshman discussing it with Felix. The timid blush gracing the younger cheeks that day would forever be burned in his retina. Minho had been napping in the younger’s bed while the latter studied on the couch. What had sparked the topic he would never know, but MInho woke to the sound of Jisung’s embarrassed cries for Felix to stop sharing about his new passion for sex in public places. Minho had listened from the door as Felix said “You should want to hear these things! Your soulmate could be around any corner waiting to sweep you off your feet and take that V card. Learn from my trial and error. Cutting a hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket will have your man’s pubes smelling like butter all day.”`

Minho had thrown up a little in his mouth with that last comment but the conversation had sparked his memory. Chan had told him once that Felix’s first time, hell, even his first kiss had been with him. His friend stated it had steamed from a pact Felix and Jisung had both made after their sixteenth birthday. An agreement to wait for their soulmate. This had been prior to Minho meeting the two roommates and he distinctly remembers outwardly mocking the pact while internally loving the ideal. It was something he would have done if he’d had a soulmate.

The chill in the night air helps to clear his thoughts. He needs to fix this before it’s too late. Minho is the Hyung, it’s his responsibility to take care of Jisung. The few shots he’d taken when they first arrived had worn off, there was no excuse for his behavior. Minho had taken advantage of the younger man and used his intoxicated state to touch him in ways that otherwise would never have been allowed. Jisung had drunkenly tried to kiss him! A tiny seed of fear takes root inside him. What if Jisung hates him now? Life experience has taught Minho to handle pain and built his tolerance level high enough so that few things bother him. Losing Jisung...because of his own selfishness? That is a pain he cannot endure. He has to get these feelings under control. He has no choice. Minho had committed to hiding his feelings the moment he chose to pursue the friendship. His heart once again stood on the street begging for attention, but this time only Jisung would do. He’ll take what he can get, all the while preparing for the day Jisung meets his soulmate and Minho is forced to let go.

Heart and mind sufficiently under control he pushes away from the wall heading back into the pulsing club. Concern fills him as he reaches their now-empty booth. Spotting Changbin and Hyunjin in the mix of people dancing he wades through the crowd. The music gets louder closer to the DJ forcing him to shout.

"Changbin-ah! Where did everyone go?"

Unfazed the muscle man simultaneously dances closer to his soulmate while pulling Minho close.

"Hyung left! I guess Jisung wasn't feeling well so Hyung and Felix took him home. He left the tab open! Said to have fun!”

Minho's stomach drops. Jisung didn't feel well? Was it the alcohol or something else? Had he upset the sweet boy enough to make him leave early? Turning away he loosely shouts "Thanks" before heading out. Regardless of why the boy wasn’t feeling well, Minho had to be there.

***

The dorm room is quiet as he slips inside. Stepping out of his boots Minho can just make out the sounds of muffled thumping coming from the direction of Felix's room. He can't help but roll his eyes. Chan's libido had been high before meeting the silver-haired beauty but since bonding with his soulmate the man was damn near insatiable. Luckily for his Hyung it seemed Felix was just as hooked on the other. Better him than me. Chan's dick was no small feat to take down. Minho wouldn't be able to walk if it was his ass getting pounded every day.

Padding over to Jisung's bedroom he quietly pushes the door open poking his head inside. Relief floods him as the hall light illuminates his Angle Cheeks face smushed into a pillow, the slow sound of heavy breathing telling him the younger is KO. Backing out he heads to the bathroom quickly locating his stash of personal products. Getting ready for the club had been the first time he'd gone to his apartment in two weeks. When had his life become so entangled with Jisung's? 

Cranking on the shower he lets the water heat while removing his makeup. 

Shutting the door of the stall he leans against the wall letting the hot water wash over him. Eyes closing he flinches when images from earlier assault his senses. The pressure of Jisung's ass against his cock as the two rocked into each other matching the beat of the bass. The texture of the younger's mesh shirt as Minho's hands traveled up a tight abdomen. Steam fills the small room turning the air heavy. Heavy, just like it had been in the club, the pair crowded in among strangers. Fuck. Opening his eyes he's greeted with the sight of his hard cock standing at attention. No way can he sleep next to Jisung when he's this pent up. 

Changing position he rests his forehead against the cool tile of the shower wall before reaching for his dick. Squeezing the base he bites his lip ensuring no sounds escape while he starts to pump himself, twisting his wrist slightly with every pull to the tip. Fucking into his fist his mind leaves the shower choosing instead to crawl under the cotton sheets of Jisung's bed. 

The thighs bracketing his face tremble with every flick of his skilled tongue. Spearing the muscle forward he wriggles into the tight heat of Jisung's ass. "Mmphm..." a desperate whine leaves the man sitting on Minho's face. Hands bury themselves in his hair pulling at the strands and sending waves of delicious pain from his scalp to his cock. Reaching up he smacks the ass positioned above his jaw hard enough to leave a smarting bruise. "Sung-ah, baby." The man above him moans at the nickname. Looking up Minho watches as a pearl of pre-come wells at the tip of the prettiest dick he's ever seen. Pulling back he shifts slightly before biting down on a trembling thigh. A needy whine echoes around the room. "Fuck Minho-hyung. Can I? Please?" Chuckling into the thigh still trapped between his teeth Minho reaches for his neglected cock. Relaxing his jaw he kisses the red impression of his mouth. "Can you what baby? Use your words.” A palm bats at the hand Minho has wrapped around his dick. Replaced with Jisung's longer fingers the new pressure causes his hips to buck upwards. "Fuck Hyung, please let me- let me ride your tongue." Clamping his hands around Jisung's waist he groans at the feeling of the boy's hand stroking him. "Of course you can baby, anything for you.” Ass cheeks sit back on him while he spears his tongue again. His hands work to support the other’s weight as the rhythm picks up again. Soft “umps” and “hums” fall from the man riding his face. His cock is seconds from blowing as the younger continues to work it fast and hard with his hand. Reaching up he grips Jisung’s cock in a tight fist. The additional stimulation has the man’s hips stuttering up into his fist and then down on his tongue. The hand on his cock picks up speed making his hips writhe with his impending orgasm. All of it, the sound of Jisung moaning his name, the weight sitting on his tongue and the hand working his cock has him coming, back bowing off the bed…

Hot water rinses the cum from his hand as he pumps himself close to overstimulation. His jaw clicks when he releases his bottom lip, the metallic taste of blood on his tongue. Legs shaking Minho sits letting the warm spray soak his hair. Fuck that was incredible. He’d felt guilty the first couple of times he’d gotten off thinking about Jisung while the man was only a room away. At this point, remorse has taken a back seat to the torture of seeing Jisung’s tan legs, bulked arms, and tight tummy every day. Touching himself was the only thing keeping Minho from pinning the man against the nearest wall and fucking him senseless. 

Coming off the high of his orgasm has his strength flagging. The simple act of washing his hair taxing to his tired body, his weary soul. Finishing he leaves the shower, toweling off before dressing himself in a pair of Jisung’s basketball shorts and a t-shirt. The familiar scent of clean linen mixed with the younger’s citrus cologne embedded in the fabric. He thinks it’s the type of scent he’ll remember forever. The kind that sends you down memory lane with only the slightest hint of it on the wind. The smell is so intricately woven in his mind that whether it’s five days or ten years later he would know the scent anywhere.

He tiptoes back into Jisung’s room moving slowly to not wake the younger. He wants to be quiet even if the poor guy had drunk enough to knock out a small horse. He’s under the sheets for less than a minute before Jisung senses him and rolls over to spoon his larger frame. Predictably his heart speeds up and it takes a bout of mental wrestling to convince the organ to chill the fuck out. It’d been like this for a month now. Every night falling asleep with the man of his heart’s greatest desire in his arms. Fucking torture. Sweet torture. The type that has him coming back for more night after night.

Sleep finds him contemplating how to fix the mess he’s made. And not just the one from tonight.

****

Consciousness pulls at Jisung slowly as sleep fights to remain in control. His body feels heavy, weighted from slumber and the dehydration of alcohol. His head isn’t happy, a low pulsing ache sits behind his eyes but it’s not the worst hangover he’s had. Thankfully Felix had forced two glasses of water in him before Chan deposited him in the bed. His mind fully adjusted to the waking hours turns traitor bombarding him with images from the night before.

The stranger playing the soulmate game but then groping him. The rush of happiness and lust resulting from Minho grabbing him possessively saying “He’s taken”. The intoxicating feel of Minho grinding into him from behind, tweaking his nipples. Moments sublime crashing down with the elder’s clear rejection. What the fuck was I thinking? Grabbing Minho and trying to kiss him? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Choking down a harsh breath his chest trembles from the pain. He’d been rejected. He’d tried to kiss Minho and the senior had pushed him away. Jisung had hoped, had wished and now he knew. Minho did not feel the same. He’d risked it all. Had put their friendship on the chopping block praying the risk was worth the reward. Could it survive? Would Minho still want to be friends? Was it too late?

The sheets around him shift alerting him to the presence of Minho. In this moment he recognizes the warmth pressed to his right side. The heavy weight of a thigh resting on top of his leg, the comfort of a broad chest spooning his own. And for the first time he notices the tickle of fingers tracing along his throat. The touch light, the movement controlled but in an odd pattern. Circular then linear up and down. Minho came back? Had spent the night with him regardless of his actions in the club. What does this mean? Are they…okay?

The fingers dancing across his skin disappear. “Sung-ah? Are you awake?” Minho’s voice is scratchy from sleep.

For a second he contemplates faking slumber. If Jisung isn’t awake then he doesn’t have to face reality. In Dreamland, Minho always returns his feelings. Maybe he could sleep for a thousand years and never let go of the fantasy. Unfortunately, it’s too late, if Minho was asking then the male had already noticed he was up.

His voice was thick from sleep. “Yeah Hyung, I’m up.”

The body next to his tenses as its owner lets out a deep sigh. Jisung’s heart sinks. That sigh couldn’t be good.

“Jisung-ah. Last night was a mistake. I’d had too much to drink and got wrapped up in the club scene. You’ve fast become one of my closest friends and I never meant to touch you like that. I’m sorry.”

Jisung’s stomach falls with Minho’s apology. Knowing the words are coming and then actually hearing them are two different things. “Too much to drink…I never meant to touch you like that.” It feels as if his chest cavity has been scooped out with a spoon. Tears claw at the back of his eyes begging for release, his brain spiraling in decent. It will never be Minho. Never yours.

“Jisung-ah, Sung-ah!” 

Broken from his thoughts he realizes Minho is expecting a response. He wants to cry. Wants to gather the elder in his arms and beg for another chance. What does Minho want? What can he do to be enough? He knows this isn’t an option. But fuck he wishes it was.

“Um, ah- Sorry Hyung, I’m still trying to wake up. But yeah, no worries. I had a lot to drink too. I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you. Sorry about that.” He chuckles half-heartedly praying Minho can’t tell how fake it is. “Things got pretty heated but I’m glad it was you because you stopped me. I was so drunk I would have kissed anyone.”

Minho lets out his own laugh and Jisung’s wishful thinking tells him it sounds strained. He pushes the thought away. If anything his friend is probably relieved. 

“If drunk kissing is your schtick then it’s a good thing you don’t drink often.”

“That’s true, although if I’d kissed people then maybe I would have found my soulmate by now.”

Minho falls silent and Jisung finds his frustration with his blindness growing. He would give anything to be able to see the male. To read Minho’s expressions. The bed next to him dips, the elder’s knee bumping his as he crawls over Jisung and out of the sheets. Within seconds Minho’s warmth fades away, his skin crying from the loss of contact.

“Hyung? Are we good?”

A sigh answers him followed by the sound of clothes rustling and zippers being closed. “Yeah Sung-ah, we’re good. I need to head out though. I got an email from the professor for my applied dance course. She wants me to fill one of the solo slots in the winter showcase. I’m going to be busy for a while.”

“A solo?! Shit Hyung that's amazing! You going to use the piece you’ve been working on?”

“I dunno. Maybe. It’s almost complete but I have a few things I want to change. Anyways, I’m headed out. On your nightstand there are two pain relievers and a bottle of water. Don’t push yourself today.”

A hand lands on his shoulder before moving to brush Jisung’s bangs off his forehead. Like a cat he can’t help but follow it for more attention. He wants Minho’s hands on him, everywhere. “Bye Sung-ah.”

“Bye Hyung.”

He listens as Minho opens the door walking out of his room. A few seconds pass and he hears the muffled sound of voices bleeding through the wall followed shortly by the sound of the front door closing. Only with Minho’s absences does he allow his tears to fall. No part of last night had meant anything to his Hyung. The elder was simply drunk and going with the flow. Fuck, this is the worst.

Sucking back tears he downs the over-the-counter meds before waddling from his bedroom in the living room wrapped in a blanket. Stray tears escape as he tumbles on the sofa.

“Sungie? How do you feel?”

Pushing the blanket off his shoulders he sits up looking in the direction of Lixie’s voice. His friend will know he’s been crying. “I’m fine. Head hurts some but it’s nothing I haven’t felt before.” As expected there’s the sound of a chair being pushed back with feet padding across the carpet to him.

“What’s wrong? You sound like you’ve been-“ gasp* “Holy shit! Jisung your throat!”

Worry fills him. 

“What is it?”

Small hands push his shoulders against the back of the couch before lifting his chin exposing his throat. Fingers move across his skin echoing the same pattern Minho had been tracing earlier. “Sungie! Your soulmate must have been at the club last night. Holy shit! I bet he saw you dancing with Minho-Hyung.”

“What?! Why? What makes you think that?!”

Loud footsteps signal Chan entering the room. “Did I hear shouting? What’s going on? O my God! That is huge”

Felix speaks before he can. “I know honey! It’s massive.”

Frustration bleeds into his tone. “Would someone please just fucking tell me what’s on my throat?”

“Shit, Sungie I’m sorry. It’s an impression. About the size of my hand.”

His friend’s hand returns to his throat, fingers extended so he can feel the size of the word. Felix’s hands were smaller than his but even so, Jisung could tell the word was a significant size, covering the whole front from left to right.

“It says Mine.”