Archive of Our Own ^beta

“It’s you, Arthur. It’s always been you”

Merlin had been trying to ease Arthur into magic. Arthur hadn’t burned any sorcerers during his rule as King, but Merlin could tell he was hesitant about magic still. Merlin had started by trying to convince him to make peace with the druids. Arthur had been agreeable, but uncertain about going any further.

Merlin understood Arthur’s reluctance. Magic had taken so much from him. So many sought revenge against Arthur because of his father’s sins. Nevertheless, Merlin still believed Arthur was on his way to bring magic back to the land.

The warlock knew it wasn’t time for him to reveal his magic yet. He knew that would only hurt Arthur. But how he longed to be his true self around his King.

Merlin could only wait, hoping for the right time to reveal his magic to come along. Hoping he would be able to tell Arthur of his own volition and share with him all he has done to protect him. Help him understand.

However, that choice to share his magic was taken away from Merlin when they were on their way back to Camelot after a hunting trip. Things had been peaceful, but Merlin was on edge. He knew that things couldn’t run this smoothly with this group of people. However, nothing happened. Just as Merlin was about to accept that this would be a peaceful trip[, they heard the unmistakable sound of bandits approaching.

All of the knights immediately went into action. Merlin tried to get out of combat, hoping to be able to help the fight with his magic. As he is creeping away, he spots someone going straight for Arthur. The golden-haired King is busy fighting another bandit, clearly not noticing the threat sneaking up behind him. So, Merlin does the only thing he can think of. He shoots a spell at the bandit, blasting it away.

Arthur hears this and turns around. He just catches the blast, clearly noticing the magic. Following the direction the spell came from, his eyes locked with Merlin’s. For a tense second, it feels like time stops. Merlin, unsure of what Arthur is thinking, can only stare back. Before either of them can react fully, Arthur is pulled back into the fight.

The bandits are defeated quickly after that, with Merlin not needing to help with his magic anymore. The Warlock is still frozen to the ground, unable to process the fact that Arthur saw him do magic. He doesn’t know what the King could be thinking right now. He knows Arthur and him were close, and Arthur’s opinions on magic were changing, but would it be enough? Would it be enough to save Merlin?

Finally, Merlin’s attention is pulled back to Arthur. His face is still unreadable, but he calls to the knights, “Clean up quickly, we have to leave.” He doesn’t look at Merlin, which hurts more than if he started yelling. Merlin tries to approach him, but he turns away, going to help some of the knights calm the horses. Merlin gives up on trying to converse with Arthur quickly, realizing he doesn’t want him anymore.

Merlin doesn’t notice the rest of the trip passing by. He is too busy thinking of the things Arthur may do once they reach Camelot. He hopes Arthur won’t let him burn, but he also knows that he will accept anything Arthur wants to do. For Arthur, he would do anything. Merlin is broken from his thoughts as they reach Camelot and stop. He says goodbye to his horse, hoping it won’t be the last time he sees her.

Following Arthur through the castle, he is careful not to get too close. It is best to stay professional, so it hurts less when Arthur tells him his fate. They reach Arthur’s chamber, but Merlin hesitates to step in. One look from Arthur has him rushing through the door, trying to stop his heart from racing. Arthur leans against his desk, face still indecipherable. Merlin stays by the door, the tension thick in the air. Finally, Arthur breaks it, “Why?”

Merlin is confused, what does Arthur want to know? “Why what, sire?” he meekly questions. He doesn’t think Arthur will grace him with a response, which is why he is shocked when Arthur bursts out, unable to hold back his questions anymore.

“Why? Why did you come here? Why are you serving me? Why would you stay with me? Tell me, Merlin, please”

“It’s you, Arthur. It’s always been you” Merlin manages to utter back. “You’re the reason I’m here - the reason I stay. I use my magic for you, to protect you. It’s my destiny. My fate. I will protect you till the day I die. I ask that you let me do that. Please” Merlin pleads with Arthur, trying to get him to understand why he cares so much.

“But you’re in danger. I put you in danger. Every time I act irrationally - I profess my hatred for magic - how could you not leave? How could you stay with me, knowing that you could never be yourself around me?” Arthur sounds so confused. So distressed. It hurts Merlin, knowing that he is the reason Arthur feels this way. He doesn’t know what to tell Arthur. How to get him to understand how he feels about him.

Realizing words were too hard, Merlin decided to use his actions to show Arthur how he feels. He marches up to him and presses his lips against Arthur’s. Desperate to convey to Arthur how he feels. How much he cares.

Arthur stays frozen against Merlin. After a few seconds, Merlin starts to regret his actions, but then Arthur presses back onto Merlin. The feelings and tension in the room are intense, but they carry on - unable to do anything but press their lips together in a desperate plea. Begging each other to not ever leave.

Finally, Merlin pulls back, needing to breathe. He also wants to make sure they are on the same page. They break apart, panting, and lean on each other. It hasn’t been long since Merlin’s magic was revealed, but it has felt like ages. Merlin breaks the silence with one more confession: “I love you, Arthur. That is why I stay. Why I care about you. I will do anything for you”

Arthur stays silent for a moment, before reconnecting their lips in a soft kiss. He breaks away and softly mutters, “I love you too. I don’t think I know how not to love you. We will be talking about your magic later, but I just want to be with you. Please?”

Merlin nods his consent, and they spend all night in each other's arms.