Archive of Our Own

“Miguel! We need backup!”

He’s leaping off the platform and headfirst into a portal before Gwen can finish her sentence. Overwhelming worry consumes him, and over the goober he can hear yelling and destruction. He growls and tries to dive faster.

He rips his way into the next dimension, and he walks straight into an illusion.

Skyscrapers just as tall as the ones in his own city rise up into the clouds and stretch as far as the eye can see. Hover cars race in every direction, most trying to avoid the warpath that this new anomaly has wrought, and spiders swing by faster than the eye can keep track of them. Windows have been shattered, massive fires swathing the area in thick smoke and ash. And in the center of it all is Mysterio.

He’s not supposed to be here, Miguel seethes as red lines of webs catch on the nearest drone and carry him into the fray. He’s supposed to be on Earth-199999, fighting his own Spiderman and causing havoc far away from here. Now he’s fighting five spiders at once and winning, and Miguel doesn’t know how he’s going to fix all of this mess.

The drone brings him up, far above Mysterio’s hologram of some kind of smoke monster. He knows that the monster itself isn’t real, but the drones behind it have plenty of firepower all on their own, and they are what he has to be wary of. He sinks his claws into metal, a small explosion following in his wake before he leaps away and dives straight down, aiming for the green smoke behind it all.

He goes in claws-first, a snarl on his lips as he rips through that stupid helmet. But his hand goes through it, and the next thing he knows he’s getting a face full of drone and bullets. Another illusion.

Hobie swings by him, close enough to feel the burst of wind that follows him as Miguel falls. The kid lets out a war cry and lets go of his web to swing his guitar into the nearest cluster of drones. But for every one that’s destroyed, another dozen take its place.

Miguel twists in the air, throwing out a web to catch on the side of a building and pull himself back up. He swings to gain momentum before tossing himself up towards the next image of Mysterio he can find.

“Claws?” the villain mocks as Miguel misses the first swipe. He lands on top of another drone, growling as he pushes off to catch his target again. “Are you sure you’re a real Spiderman? You don’t look like one!”

Miguel snarls when his arm phases right through another illusion, and Mysterio’s laughter comes through the drone’s speaker before he rips it in half. 

“I’m real enough to beat you to a pulp!”

The blades on the sides of his arms cleave through the smoke creature’s face, catching three drones as he comes out the other side. Before he can fall again, Pav swings by next and shoots a web in his direction. He grabs onto it, briefly glancing up to check just how badly hurt the kid is before he’s swinging both of them towards the side of a nearby building. 

Miguel slams into it, claws digging into concrete and glass to come to a stop, while Pav sticks sideways not far away.

“Miguel! We don’t know how to find the real one!”

He huffs as he claws his way further up, hooking an arm over a ledge. He looks up and finds Pav staring right at him, the eyes of his mask wide and worried. Part of his suit is ripped from the shoulder to his elbow, bleeding. Miguel saw the bullet he took from over the screens in his office, and it wasn’t long after that that Gwen called for backup. He would have come anyway even if she hadn’t said anything, although now he’s thinking that he should have brought more backup than just himself. He’s lost the element of surprise, and the kids are looking to him for support. 

“I’ll figure it out,” he assures Pav with gritted teeth. “You’re hurt, so don’t do anything crazy.”

He doesn’t wait for the kid’s response as he pushes off the ledge and aims for the next drone. He shoots a web to catch one, and then once he has the right momentum, a pair of red lines shoot out from both arms and zig-zag through the drones’ ranks, destroying everything in range. 

Another spider lands on and jumps off of his back, executing a twirl that launches one drone into a group of others, creating a fairly large explosion on impact. Gwen goes for a dive through the fire, and Miguel loses sight of her just as quickly as she appeared. 

He drops onto a drone, steering it through the chaos as he searches for the right target. 

“Lyla, can you find him?!” he shouts over the bullets he has to jump over and the lightning that nearly catches him. He brings out the gliders under his arms and sails between as many as he can, looking for anything out of place but finding nothing.

“Negative,” she announces in his ear. “The network is blocking me. It’ll take some time to get through it.”

“Do it! You’re better than this guy, I know you are!”

A drone appears out of thin air and catches him in the stomach faster than he can dodge, sending him crashing into panes of already broken glass and concrete. He goes sliding across a floor until his back hits a pillar and all the breath is knocked out of him. Heaving and surrounded by both real and fake smoke, he shoves himself up, determined to get back out there as soon as possible. 

A black and red blur leaps over the abandoned office desks and grabs at one of his arms, dragging Miguel up and out into the open air as soon as a big boom rocks the building behind them.

“Come on, Tío!” Miles yells over to him as Miguel struggles to keep a good grip on his own webs. 

The kid attaches one of his own threads to Miguel’s, pulling both of them up onto separate drones. Miles is also injured, although he hides it well. But slamming back-first into a steel beam is bound to cause a lot of damage whether he has superpowers or not, and Miguel knows that the longer this fight goes on, the more the kid is going to be feeling it. The adrenaline drop after this is not going to be pretty, but he doesn’t have time to think about that now.

Miles heads off in his own direction, and Miguel zeroes in on the green smoke in the distance.

Mysterio seems to have given up on the image of a giant monster and is instead focusing on turning a majority of his drones invisible. While that makes it more difficult for Miguel without spider sense, it’s fairly easy to hear them coming anyway. 

“You’re not like the others.”

Miguel whirls around, fist automatically smashing through another fake version of Mysterio as soon as he appears over his shoulder. He appears again just as quickly, and although Miguel knows this one is an illusion too, he still growls and smashes through the drones creating it.

“Are you their boss? Their father? Just an ally?”

Gritting his teeth, Miguel grabs a drone with his stronger red webs and spins it around, catching maybe a dozen others before it explodes along with them. Mysterio’s illusions of himself are fleeting and random, appearing one moment and gone the next. Knowing that none of them are real doesn’t make the words less annoying.

“Not the talkative type, huh? That’s fine. You seem like an interesting guy, so maybe we can strike a deal.”

He growls and destroys another fake Mysterio, briefly glancing around to make sure the kids are okay before he keeps fighting. 

“I’m not interested in making deals with a villain,” he hisses.

“Villain? Ouch. You know, that really hurts. But I think this deal is something you can benefit from. Here’s my offer. You guys back off and let me go about my inter-dimensional business, and the little one gets to live!”

Miguel startles, quickly looking around to see what he’s talking about, and then freezes when he catches sight of Pavitr.

He has a drone attached to each arm, struggling against them as they drag him higher into the air. The kid kicks out and tries to wrench his arms free, but the injury he got earlier is limiting his usual flexibility, and he can only do so much as the drones work to pull him into open air away from the others.

“Lyla, is this another illusion?!”

Miguel moves faster than the other three even notice that something is wrong, leaping far between drones in an effort to reach the kid before Mysterio can take him farther than their webs or his glider can reach. Because even if this Pav isn’t real, he can’t take the risk of assuming one way or the other.

“I don’t know!” she yells into his ear from under the mask. “The system is too advanced. You need to get closer so I can—“

Her voice abruptly cuts out with a staticky sound that echoes in his ear, and then there’s nothing but silence. 

“Lyla? Are you there?!”

With a sinking feeling in his chest, he pushes himself to go faster, to reach further. Pav is almost out of range, and if Lyla is really—

“Better make your decision quickly, Spiderman.”

Miguel snarls when it’s Mysterio’s voice that comes from under the mask next. Gwen and Miles aren’t far away, also racing to reach for Pav. But the drones are taking him higher and as the drones move out of the way to make things more difficult for them, their footholds are rapidly running out. 

“Juro por Dios, if you took Lyla from me then I’ll—!”

“Time’s up.”

The drones release Pav, and as soon as he hears the kid scream his heart skips a beat. Focus narrowing to a point, he leaves the other three behind and gets the gliders up under his arms as he takes a flying leap in Pav’s direction, diving headfirst. 

Far too many drones move to block his path, and he has to put every ounce of concentration and skill he has to maneuver around and through them. Every small twist in the air like this could send him careening off course, and the kid doesn’t have long enough to wait. 

Pav tries to shoot webs for anything nearby, but nothing catches. One of his arms is completely limp and waving in the wind while the other still tries to desperately reach for something. Miguel should be able to reach him if he can just—

His vision cuts out. The view he has of the world around him through his mask goes dark, the technology intentionally shut off just long enough to change his course. He raises an arm to protect his head, and the next thing he knows he’s smashing directly into a drone and flipping through the air. 

The mask comes back online quickly, the defense mechanisms of his own system fast-acting and ruthless against attackers, but the damage has already been done. He can’t correct his course fast enough, and then he smashes into another drone, this time back-first. All the oxygen in his lungs comes rushing out, and spots dance in his vision as he lets out a painful wheeze. Dazed but still more concerned with the kid than anything else, he shoves himself off and tries to dive again. 

But it’s too late. Pav is falling faster than Miguel can reach for him. The ground is rushing up to meet him, and Miguel can’t save him. 

He wants to yell, to call out for the kid, for his spiderling, but all that comes out is another wheeze, still trying to catch his breath. And as he reaches his claws out, so so close, he tries to deny how he knows this is going to end.

The wide eyes of Pavitr’s mask is the last thing he sees before he’s forced to pull up or crash himself, and the cut-off scream and sickening crunch he hears from behind reverberates in his skull. 

He’s gone.

Body numb and still lightheaded from the hit he took, he slings a web up to join the fight again. 

He’s gone.

He sees the similarly wide-eyed masks of Miles and Gwen as he swings past them, cutting through everything in his path. Hobie is yelling, anguish clear in his voice as he smashes through drones left and right, calling out for Mysterio to show himself so the punk can beat him senseless.

Pavitr is gone.

Rage pooling in his gut, Miguel's attention is split between finding the villain and remembering his daughter’s face seconds before she disappeared forever. He wonders if Pav looked the same before he hit the ground. He wonders what kind of gory mess he might find if he were to look down to find the body. 

Pav is gone. Another spiderling is dead.

He hears Mysterio’s laughter echoing between hundreds of speakers, and Miguel roars. 

Most things get lost in a haze of red after that. 

Miles calls for his help against a team of five invisible drones, and he isn’t able to protect the kid well enough to avoid the bullet that gets lodged in Miles’s chest. He screams when the spiderling falls, desperately trying to fight his way through the swarm of threats that separate Miguel from him. 

Falling just like Pav. Dead, just like Pav. He tries to reach for the kid anyway, something in his chest thrashing around in anguish as the spiderling only gets further away. A web to his back keeps him from going too far down, and a whimper leaves his throat when he’s yanked back up. 

Dead.

Spiderlings are dead.

Dead, dead, dead!

He loses track of the fight at the same time he loses track of Gwen. She pulls him up and then disappears into a hoard far larger than she should be able to tackle on her own. He follows after her without thinking, without even a hint of consideration behind if the image of her retreating form is even real or not. The spider inside him only wants to protect, a desperate need that overrides logical thought and propels him forward. He can’t let another one of them die!

He hears her scream, and when he breaks through a wall of drones he sees her costume sizzling where a bolt of electricity has struck her straight through the heart. 

She falls, and this time he doesn’t even get a chance to attempt to catch her before he’s being swarmed from all angles. 

Getting shot feels like nothing. Getting crushed and tossed around and ripped into feels like nothing. Three spiders are gone, and that feels like everything. That feels like dying all over again. That feels like he failed. 

He shoves himself out of the ball of drones and immediately locks onto Hobie, still smashing through anything in his path and just as destroyed as Miguel is. 

If he can just protect this last spiderling—If he can save this one then maybe it’ll be okay! Maybe he can protect Hobie from everything, keep him safe and far, far away from all the dangers of this world, he thinks desperately. They can go back to the nest and stay there, shielded from predators and bad memories and—and then maybe Miguel can still salvage this! Maybe at least one spiderling can still make it out of here alive.

He tries to reach for Hobie, claws extended and the coordinates for his own universe waiting on his fingertips, intent on taking the kid and fleeing from this terrible place. And then all his hopes are dashed when a single bullet finds its mark.

The sound that rips free of his throat doesn’t sound human, and he doesn’t feel like one either as he watches Hobie fall next. 

It happens in slow motion, a million thoughts racing through his head at the same time. He sees Gabriella again, reaching up for him with tears in her eyes just before she takes her last breath. He sees his spiderlings dropping one by one to an overwhelming predator they never could have hoped to match. And Miguel should have protected them like any spider would protect their children, but he failed. He failed and now Hobie is falling down too, and he knows that he doesn’t deserve the few spiderlings he has left. The others that are still elsewhere, either in their own dimensions or at Spider Society, they’d be safer without his protection. 

And they’ll be even safer when he destroys this villain.

His eyes don’t leave Hobie’s form as he opens his mouth and takes a deep breath. The many different scents of the area all mingle together into a messy collage, but there’s something new mixed in there now, a single scent strong enough that he’s able to pinpoint it immediately.

Mysterio got too cocky. So delighted by the masterful art of the illusions he’s woven, he decided that it was safe enough to get closer to see the despair for himself. So sure of his technique, he never could have predicted the almost too fast to see snap from a grieving man to a red-eyed predator staring directly at him. 

Mysterio is experienced when it comes to running away quickly, but Miguel will always be faster. So when he jolts back and tries to get away, still invisible and trying to shield himself with more drones, Miguel is on him in an instant.

Cutting through the few drones Mysterio is able to pull up between them on short notice is child’s play. The blades on his arms are razor sharp and bring nothing but destruction in their wake, and he doesn’t care about possible damage to his suit as he jumps directly into the small explosions to claw his way through. His vision tunnels, blind to anything that isn’t his target, and he wants nothing more than to have Mysterio’s blood on his hands.

“Wait!” the villain tries to say, scrambling to get away but realizing he’s getting nowhere fast as Miguel snarls and rips claws through the air where his face was only a moment ago. “We can make another deal! I can bring them all back! Look, they—“

Miguel roars, seeing nothing but red, and finally succeeds in a tackle. 

Mysterio loses his footing and starts falling, many drones gathering around in an attempt to catch him as Miguel locks talons into his suit and reduces anything in his path to a shredded mess. Mysterio tries to fight him off, yelling words that Miguel doesn’t care to listen to as bullets and strikes of electricity are fired, trying to knock him off. But Mysterio is a coward, and he doesn’t want to get shot by his own tech, so the few shots that he does fire are nothing compared to the despair and rage inside Miguel that allows him to shake them off.

He smashes directly through the stupid fishbowl helmet and growls as he grabs his prey by the throat and winds up a fist. He sees the terror and resignation on Mysterio’s face just before the first punch breaks bone. 

The ground rushes up to meet them too quickly, and Miguel doesn’t want the fight to end early. He makes sure that the talons on his feet are locked on tight as he opens the gliders and brings them both down. He takes great pleasure in the way Mysterio skids off the concrete once they’re low enough to drop him, and then Miguel is descending on him again.

His prey has long since been knocked out, and his face is already a bloody smear, his chest covered in slashes and cuts from where Miguel has torn through his suit, but he’s not done with Mysterio yet. He swoops down like a bird of prey and claws his way over, ignoring the crashing sounds all around them as thousands of drones deactivate and hit the ground. 

His mask disappears and he opens his maw wide. With a long hiss, he comes up beside the body and raises sharpened claws. He briefly entertains the idea of simply caving in his prey’s chest cavity, because he knows he has enough weight and force to do it, and the sound would be so exquisite—

He stops.

His mouth closes and the claws of one hand hover just above Mysterio’s broken face. He can very faintly feel and hear the sound of his breathing, still barely clinging to life even after Miguel has shattered him beyond repair. 

He recoils, some of the red clearing from his eyes as he actually considers what he’s doing. He can’t—He can’t kill Mysterio. This is all the spider in his head, not Miguel. This guy that he’s nearly beaten to death is just an anomaly, and one that he needs to return to his own universe for his own Spiderman to handle. What is he doing?

There’s heaps of destruction all around them. All of the drones have been either destroyed or heavily damaged on impact, and many of them are on fire and spreading it to cars and other things. He needs to get this under control. He needs to send Mysterio back, alive. He needs backup, he needs—

“Lyla?” he calls out, voice rough and cracking along the edges. 

He hears only silence in reply. 

He moves away from Mysterio. The stink of blood is overpowering, and if he’s not careful it will drive him into a renewed frenzy that he’s not sure he’ll be able to control a second time. He keeps the villain in his sights still, although he knows Mysterio is much more likely to die of blood loss or any number of other injuries long before he could ever attempt to get away. But part of him is afraid that all of this is just another illusion, no matter how real it smells. 

He finds a space against a wall, and he sits himself down there, looking out over the remains of the battlefield without really seeing it. His hands are upturned in his lap, unable to retract his claws even now. The aches and pains of his own beating start to make themselves known, and although he’s fairly sure that the suit repelled all the bullets, that doesn’t mean that the impacts and the bruises they leave behind aren’t painful. If he ever got hit by electricity then he didn’t feel it, though his body is trembling like he did. 

They’re all gone. 

He looks down when a droplet lands on the concrete before him, and blinks when he sees another fall just beside it. There are no clouds in the sky, and Miguel blanks when he realizes that the water is coming from him. 

Gwen, Miles, Hobie, Pav, and Lyla are all gone. The slipped through his fingers just like Gabriella, just like so many other people in his life. They’re gone, and once again the only person he can blame is himself. He couldn’t catch any of them, could barely even stop himself from outright murder, and if Mysterio passes away sometime soon then that will be his doing as well. Maybe it would be justified, but he’s supposed to be better than that. 

He’s supposed to be Spiderman. He’s supposed to be a leader. He’s supposed to be a protector, but he let four people die today. And he hopes that he can find some way to get Lyla back, but if she’s somehow been deleted entirely then that makes five. 

The tears come faster at that thought, because she’s been with him through everything, and if she’s gone too then—

Then what point is there to living at all?

He brings his hands up and hides his face behind them, playing through the scenario in his head a hundred times over as he analyzes every mistake he made, every possible way that he shocked up and landed himself here. He can’t imagine what Peter and Jess will think of him, let alone the other kids. He can already see the devastation and disappointment on their faces, but he knows that the real thing will be much worse than anything he can imagine. 

Your fault repeats in his head over and over again. It gets harder to breathe with every passing second.

He doesn’t feel the vibration of footsteps until they’re nearly on top of him, and he figures it’s probably Peter and Jess coming to tell him just how much they hate him for what he’s done here. He doesn’t look up until he hears the voice.

“Ankal?”

It feels like a strike through the heart, and he jolts as he snaps his head up to see. 

Pavitr is standing there, with Miles, Gwen, and Hobie right by his side, all staring down at him with deep concern or matching tears in their own eyes. 

Pav’s arm is coated in dried blood, still limp by his side. Hobie is favoring one leg, and Gwen has an arm wrapped around her middle like it hurts. But none of that matters because they’re standing here in front of him, alive. 

He reaches out hesitantly, wondering if this is just another trick, and when Pav meets him halfway, he knows by the warmth of the hand under his own that this has to be real. The claws retract in an instant, and in the next moment he’s tugging Pav off his feet and into Miguel’s arms.

He curls around the kid as he easily folds himself against Miguel’s chest, and he has to fight not to completely crush the spiderling as they hold onto each other with nearly every ounce of enhanced strength the two of them have. Pav tucks his head under Miguel’s chin, and that’s when the first sob rips its way out of his throat. 

Gwen and Miles come up on his left side, and when they try to fit against him he opens his arms and invites them in alongside Pav. They feel warm and real and alive. He knows he’s not going to be able to let them go for a long while. 

Hobie limps over and crashes into his other side next, hugging both Miguel and the rest with far more force and care than Miguel would have ever expected from him. He’s never shown affection to Miguel like this before, has always been more standoffish and independent when it comes to the guy he started a rebellion against, but now he’s holding on like if he lets go then they’ll all disappear, and his next words make it clear why.

“I saw you die,” he murmurs against Miguel’s shoulder, something distant in his eyes where he stares off into space. “Pav too. I thought both of you—“

He cuts himself off, shoulders shaking as he grips a little tighter. And although there’s a limited amount of space in his arms, he still brings Hobie in anyway.

“I saw you and Gwen get hit,” Miles whispers against his chest. “There was a swarm, and then you both fell.”

Miguel wants to say something like “It wasn’t real” or “We’re both alive, we didn’t fall”, but the words get lodged in his throat and turn into another hiccuping sob instead. He might be embarrassed about that if he wasn’t still reeling from finding out that four of his spiderlings aren’t dead and bloody smears on the ground somewhere. 

Pav’s scream still echoes in his head, and the images of all of them falling and dying are still just as vivid. There’s still a hole in his heart where Lyla should be. 

He makes a vulnerable, wounded noise, muffled where he’s hidden half of his face in Pav’s hair, and tries to hold them even closer. He’s still wary of accidentally using too much strength and hurting them, but they’re alive and he wishes they could stay like this forever.

Luckily none of the kids seem very opposed to at least settling in for a while, all of them trying to reconcile what they saw with reality, comforted by each other. Miguel keeps them close and lets the tears fall freely.

Some time later, when the kids have somehow found a way to make enough space in his lap to relax into something like a nap (although none of them are actually sleeping) and Miguel is simply basking in their continued presence, he startles when an orange light flickers into existence in front of him.

“Miguel!” Lyla shouts once her form has solidified. She moves quickly, flitting around his head in a way that can only be described as anxious and worried. “I’m so sorry! I wasn’t being careful enough and they got into the system to shut me down. I rebooted as soon as I could—Are you okay?”

She pauses when she finally notices him staring. The kids stir to see her, looking between the two of them, and Miguel feels water gathering in his eyes again as he tentatively detaches an arm from the spiderlings to reach for her. 

“Lyla,” he murmurs, watching her jolt in place as she hears the depth of emotion in his tone. He knows that he can’t actually touch her because she’s a hologram, but she perches in his palm anyway, creating the illusion that he’s holding her as he brings her closer. 

“You were gone.”

It’s an obvious statement, but they both know what he means. He thought she wasn’t coming back, that she was truly gone for good. It’s not something he wants to experience ever again. 

She smiles at him, and Miguel swears he’s never missed those ridiculous heart-shaped glasses so much in his life. Even in such a short amount of time, he missed her dearly. 

“I’m right here, boss man. Can’t get rid of me that easy.”

His mouth twitches, trying to quirk up into a smile that he’s not sure he’s ready for yet. “Don’t leave again. Please.” 

Her face softens, and she noticeably doesn’t comment on the ‘please’ he tacks on at the end like she might have if she were in a teasing mood. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Miguel.”

And he’s so focused on Lyla’s return that the sudden appearance of a portal not far away startles him badly enough to flinch and growl. The cleanup crew descends from above in their spider-like vehicle, and once the hatch opens and a dozen or so Spiderpeople come out, they all immediately get to work.

Lyla flickers away and Miguel returns his arm to where it was around Gwen and Miles’s shoulders, curling around them protectively. The mask comes back up as claws and fangs unfurl, careful to keep them away from the spiderlings even while he holds them close. 

Peter and Jess arrive from a different portal, and he sees Lyla talking to them briefly before they both turn to look at him. He growls when they come closer, and although they slow down neither of them stops until he tenses and flexes his claws, ready to pounce if they decide to push him more. Peter crouches down in front of him while Jess hangs back slightly.

“Hey, Miggy, it’s just me. I’m not gonna hurt you or the kids, promise.”

He gives a low growl, protective instincts overriding nearly everything else. Logically, he knows that nobody here is going to hurt any of them, and if he asked then he’s sure none of them would be separated either, but he can’t let go of his spiderlings, or let anyone else get closer. He only recently got them all back, and he’s afraid that if he lets them go then he’ll see them die all over again. Having them in his arms proves that they’re real, and once he can’t feel the warmth anymore then there’s no way to know if he’s in another illusion or not. So he can’t let them go. He won’t let them go.

Peter frowns at him. He reaches down to tap out a message of no threat and safe, and frowns some more when all he gets in response is a tense hiss. 

“Come on buddy. The kids are hurt and Pav isn’t looking so good. You’ve gotta let us help.” He pauses. “Can you even understand a word I’m saying right now? I can’t tell.”

Miguel rumbles deep in his chest and gives a resolute answer. 

“Mine.”

Peter and Jess trade a look before they turn back to stare at him, and it gives Miguel the distinct impression that he’s being psychoanalyzed. He doesn’t like the attention and only growls louder in response. 

He stops abruptly when Pav shifts in his lap, immediately redirecting his focus in case the spiderling needs him for something, and when he looks down he sees Pav looking right back up at him. He seems exhausted where he leans against Miguel’s chest, eyes drooping and paler than usual. All the blood he lost from the wound on his arm is catching up with him, and Miguel feels a pang of guilt for taking so long to notice or get help. 

“Ankal, it’s okay.” 

When Pav reaches up, Miguel makes the mask disappear and sheathes his fangs, anger tempered by the gentle pat to his jaw. Just that small movement seems to be too much for the kid, and he drops his hand a second later to sigh and close his eyes. 

“We’re not going anywhere either. Right, guys?”

There’s a series of tired but resolute agreements from the other three, and Miguel flicks red eyes between all of them before glancing back up at Peter and Jess. 

They’re both waiting expectantly, hopefully, and Pav is just about ready to pass out in his arms. He knows that he’s making this more difficult than it needs to be, but that doesn’t make it any easier to accept.

He narrows his eyes and chuffs, releasing the spiderlings from his lap so he can nudge them onto his back instead. They hesitate but go easily enough, and once he’s sure they’re all sticking properly he bundles Pav up in his arms and gets himself standing. He stumbles and nearly falls, a combination of the kids pressing against sore spots and getting up from the tense position he had been sitting in for who knows how long. Peter and Jess rush to help stabilize him on either side, and although he doesn’t growl, he does tense up and watch them both critically, ready to snap at either of them if they try to take his spiderlings from him. 

Miles leans over his shoulder and starts telling Peter and Jess what happened as they guide Miguel towards the portal they came in through. Lyla reappears in front of him, playfully beckoning him forward, and her presence settles him enough to listen without complaint. 

It’s midday in Spider Society when they make it through, and he has to squint through the light as it burns his eyes. The call of his darkened office and the safety of his nest is extremely tempting, but Pav and the others need to go to Medical, so that's where he reluctantly heads instead. 

Jess walks a little bit slower so she can talk to Gwen, trying to reassure and comfort the kid. Miguel lets her, right up until she reaches out, and then he stops to growl at her. 

All she’s done is lay a gentle hand on Gwen’s shoulder, and she keeps it there even as Miguel glares and tries to get her to back off. She holds her ground, putting her other hand on her hip and leveling a challenging stare right back at him. 

“You really wanna play this game, Miguel? You’re not the only one who cares, you know. Have you already forgotten what happened the last time you tried to control everything?”

He wants to argue that the incident with Miles was completely different for a multitude of reasons, but he understands her core message and he knows she’s right. He’s being defensive around people who only want to help, and he’s preventing that help from reaching the kids who need it more than he does. He isn’t the only one who cares about and wants to protect them. It’s just difficult to think about anything other than keeping them as close as possible and everyone else far away. 

His growling quiets and slows to a stop. Her challenging look overpowers his own, and once he glances away they both know that she’s won. 

“Come on, big boy,” Peter says as he nudges Miguel along again. “Let’s get these kids to some trained medical professionals and then everyone can relax, mkay?”

Miguel goes easily enough, trying to ignore the anxiety curling in his gut the closer that they get to their destination. The open door into Medical is more intimidating than it should be, and as soon as he sees more Spiderpeople coming out and feels the kids shifting on his back, he comes to a halt and takes a step back. He’s not sure when his claws retracted, but they make a new appearance now, tensing when all the Spiders beside and in front of him starts to feel like he’s being surrounded. 

Lyla pops up between them and him, prompting the three or so Spiders to stop and listen to her urgency. 

“You’re freaking the boss man out, guys. Just give him a minute.”

Grateful for her intervention, Miguel tries to take a few deep breaths to calm himself. Peter gets in front of him in an attempt to redirect his gaze, but right now Miguel is more interested in the kids than anything Peter might say.

He looks down at Pav, who seems to have fallen asleep at some point. He’s pale but breathing, unconscious but alive. 

The scream wasn’t real, he tells himself. Pav hitting the ground was just an illusion. The kid is hurt but he’s okay. Medical is waiting for him, and all Miguel has to do is let go. It sounds so simple, but he can’t get his body to actually listen to the command. 

He never let go of Gabriella, but she disappeared anyway. Now he’s afraid that if he loses sight of the kids then he’ll never see them again. A fear that’s no less daunting despite knowing how irrational it is. 

Peter comes up to him, and he doesn’t get defensive this time as gentle hands come up to slowly release the grip he has on Pav. He murmurs reassurances that don’t actually reach his ears and Miguel finally uncoils his arms to allow Peter to take the kid from him. 

As soon as the weight is gone, it feels like something very important is missing, despite seeing Pav right there. His claws flex around nothing but open air, and he’s almost tempted to take Pav back, but he knows that he would only be doing more harm than good, like he’s been doing this entire time. 

He forces his legs to work again as he moves to follow Peter, crouching down to let the other three off his back so the Spiders in Medical can tend to them as well. He watches them go inside and disappear around a corner, some sending him concerned glances before they’re gone. 

And when he stands up and stares after them, there’s a kind of cold emptiness in him that squeezes the air from his lungs. 

Jess lightly grabs his elbow, and the touch is just barely grounding enough to get him to focus on what she’s saying. 

“Miguel, are you hurt too?”

He is, but it’s only bruises as far as he knows, so he shakes his head. 

She tries to smile at him, but there’s nothing but worry in her eyes. “Alright, then how about we get you to your office.”

Peter comes up on his other side, grabbing his hand to lightly tug him in the right direction. “How does your nest sound, buddy? I’m sure you’ll feel a lot better once you get some rest.”

He thinks he’ll feel better once he sees the spiderlings again, but getting back to dimmed lights and protective webbing is the next best thing, so he allows the two of them to lead him across Spider Society. 

If they pass by any other people on the way there then Miguel doesn’t notice them. He keeps his head down, staring at the floor without really paying attention to anything around him. Peter and Jess take the reins and he doesn’t have it in him to fight them on it even if he wanted to. All the fight that he had only minutes ago is gone, and in its place is a numb feeling that clouds his head and makes it difficult to do anything but keep walking. 

He doesn’t know when they make it to the office. He only realizes that they’re shuffling him into the nest when Jess puts a hand on his head to get him to duck, making sure he doesn’t hit his face on the webbed entrance. Once they’re inside, Miguel decides that the spider silk hammocks have been left untouched for long enough, and he climbs his way up into one. 

He’s too tall to fit in it like the kids do, so his legs hang off the side, but it’s comfortable enough. He lays on his side, curls up the best he can, and then he doesn’t have anything else to do but stare blankly ahead and wait. 

He doesn’t see the worried glances that Peter and Jess share with each other below, or the silent, gestured argument they get into to decide which unlucky Spider gets to break the silence first. Confrontation with Miguel is tricky business even on a good day, and neither of them knows what to say. 

Peter scrubs a hand down his face and bites the bullet, shuffling over so he’s sticking to a wall of the nest where Miguel can see him. 

“Hey, Migs. How are you feeling right now? Do you think you can say something so we know you’re still in there?”

Jess glares are him, and Peter shrugs incredulously as if to say ‘what do you want me to do?’ before he turns back to Miguel to patiently await an answer.

But he’s not in the mood. So he tells Peter “No” in a voice that sounds like he swallowed rocks and then brings an arm up to cover his face. Maybe if he closes his eyes and pretends to sleep for long enough then they’ll forget about this and leave him alone. Or better yet, maybe he’ll actually fall asleep and then he won’t have to deal with anything else either.

He hears some more shuffling, and he knows that Peter is crawling closer by the slight movements he feels through the webs. He doesn’t move or make a sound when Peter pokes at his arm, lightly at first and then more insistently. Until Miguel finally moves it to give Peter a tired glare. 

He isn’t expecting Peter’s eyes to widen, or the look on his face to go from just worried to gutted in the next second. It takes a confused blink for Miguel to realize that he’s crying again. He’s not sure when that happened, or how he didn’t notice. 

“Hey,” Peter says hesitantly. “It’s okay. Everyone is fine. The kids will be out of Medical in no time, I promise.”

Miguel sniffs and shakes his head, unable to put his thoughts into words just yet as the emotions start to become overwhelming again. He tries to swipe a hand across his face but the tears just keeps coming. He hates it.

Peter is somehow able to maneuver himself into the small amount of space left on Miguel’s hammock, and he makes his best attempt at comfort by draping himself partially on top of Miguel, hugging with one arm and running a hand through tangled hair with the other. Behind him, Jess leans against one of the nest’s walls and traces circles into his back. 

It’s a practiced move for both of them. After Gabriella, he was a mess, and the two of them are probably the reason he’s still alive and relatively okay today. It’s been a long time since they’ve had to tag-team him like this, but they’re just as seamless as they were before. He doesn’t want to admit how much it helps him now, but he’s sure they already know. 

He breathes, taking in familiar scents and allowing the tension to fall away, revealing the broken spider beneath. 

“I saw them die,” he whispers into Peter’s chest, almost too quiet to hear if it weren’t for the utter silence of the room. “All of them. I tried and I—“

I couldn’t stop it. 

I couldn’t stop any of it.

Peter’s arms tighten around him like he knows, and it settles something inside of Miguel that he didn’t know needed to be soothed. 

“Lyla was gone and I didn’t know—“

He didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t. He didn’t know that she was still alive, just temporarily put to sleep. He didn’t know that while he was watching them die, they were watching him die.  

Didn’t know I could be broken a second time. 

He doesn’t say anything else, and thankfully neither of them press the issue further. They just stay there, giving him exactly the kind of grounding presence they know he needs, and he gives in because he knows can’t hold himself together any longer. 

Miguel lets himself be broken because he knows he can rely on them to pick up the pieces, and that’s exactly what they do.