Work Text:
JAMIE
Mar 6 21 6:18PM
JAMIE:the prick thing worked out eh?
JAMIE:they’re even giving you credit
JAMIE:how’s that for typical? i score a one in a million goal and they’re all creaming themselves over how good a coach you are
6:33PM
JAMIE:the lads and i are going to the royal oak for a couple pints, want to come?
JAMIE:i will be drinking coke, promise
9:41PM
JAMIE:come on you must be a little bit proud
ROY:👍
Mar 11 21 7:12AM
JAMIE:want a coffee?
Mar 29 21 12:00PM
JAMIE:i’m bored what movie should i watch
ROY:Don’t fucking text me on our day off, you twat.
Apr 3 21 9:47PM
JAMIE:thanks for today
9:56PM
ROY:Don’t mention it.
10:01PM
JAMIE:are we cool? i shouldn’t have lost it like that and i really appreciate you being there and everything and i just wanted to make sure
JAMIE:and apologise i guess
ROY:Of course we’re fucking cool.
ROY:Don’t apologise for your cunt of a father being a fucking cunt.
ROY:Are you okay?
JAMIE:if i say no will you give me another cuddle? 😜
ROY:Fuck off and go to sleep.
Apr 5 21 4:42PM
ROY:Did you leave leopard print pants in the dressing room?
JAMIE:why are you asking me this directly instead of posting in the group chat?
ROY:Fuck me for trying to be fucking delicate and not humiliating you in fucking public!
JAMIE:they’re not even mine!
ROY:They were in front of your locker and they’re your size.
JAMIE:how do you know what size pants i wear?
ROY:I’m your fucking coach.
ROY:I don’t fucking care, I’ll have Will throw them out.
JAMIE:don't do that they're fucking armani!
ROY:Fucking typical.
Apr 13 21 8:09PM
ROY:I want you to know that I’m only asking this because Keeley wants it, and Keeley gets what she wants.
JAMIE:thats fucking ominous
ROY:I mean, she gets what she wants within reason.
ROY:From me.
ROY:I give her what she wants.
JAMIE:rub it in why don’t you
JAMIE:i know this! i haven’t done anything to get in the way of you two have i?
ROY:Fuck, I’m not doing this right.
ROY:I mean to say that you don’t have to go along with this, while also communicating that *I* am doing this because her happiness is a higher priority for me than my fucking dignity or just about anything else.
JAMIE:okay...
8:35PM
JAMIE:i know the frostbite from the last ice age makes you a pretty slow typer but would you just say it already?
ROY:😠
JAMIE:well?
ROY:Would you like to come over for dinner?
JAMIE:that’s it?
JAMIE:that’s what you were agonising over asking?
JAMIE:well i guess it depends
JAMIE:my schedule is pretty full you know
JAMIE:are you cooking?
JAMIE:are you a good cook? because keeley has a lot of strengths but cooking ain’t one of them
JAMIE:wait, why does keeley want me to come over for dinner?
JAMIE:why do you *not* want me to come over for dinner that bad?
ROY:Fucking hell, would you let me get a fucking word in?
JAMIE:do you want to just call me seeing as you type slower than my stepdad?
ROY:NO.
JAMIE:okay...
ROY:Sorry, it’s just I don’t want Keeley to know I’m messaging you yet.
ROY:She’s been on me for a week and a half about this and if she knew I was talking to you she’d stick her fucking nose in and I wouldn’t get to say it my way.
JAMIE:that’s way too big of a deal to make about dinner
JAMIE:are you asking me if i want a threesome or something?
8:41PM
JAMIE:oh my god you are
8:43PM
JAMIE:oh my god you ARE
JAMIE:so, she still wants to shag me, eh?
ROY:It’s not like that.
JAMIE:it sounds like it’s like that
ROY:If I thought it was fucking like that, I wouldn’t be fucking messaging you.
ROY:Our relationship is fine and I’m giving her everything she needs.
JAMIE:that’s clearly not the case though is it?
ROY:She doesn’t *need* this, she just has a *thing* for it.
JAMIE:you mean a thing for me
ROY:NO!
ROY:A thing for watching the two of us together.
JAMIE:😐
8:57PM
ROY:Oh for fuck’s sake, just fucking say it already.
ROY:Tell me it’s never going to happen so I can say I tried and I can get some fucking peace.
JAMIE:look mate you’ve had a week and a half to wrap your head around this i’m going to need more than 30 seconds
ROY:It’s not an automatic no then?
JAMIE:well i ain’t in the habit of turning down threesome proposals without due consideration
ROY:But it’s me.
ROY:And I *just* said that it isn’t going to be one of those scenarios where we each pretend the other isn’t there and focus on her.
JAMIE:i get that
ROY:Fucking hell.
ROY:I thought she was making it up.
ROY:I thought there was no way you’d be interested.
ROY:You being bi, that makes sense, I don’t give a shit about that.
ROY:But I told her you wouldn’t want anything to do with me no matter what your sexuality is.
JAMIE:were you relying on that?
JAMIE:are you straight then?
ROY:Fuck no.
ROY:I don’t advertise it, because who of us does? But yeah, I’m bi.
JAMIE:cool
ROY:Yeah.
JAMIE:but like you say, liking cocks ain’t the same as liking me
ROY:Fucking you isn’t the same as liking you either.
ROY:Or, I don’t know. I haven’t exactly talked to her about what “watching us” extends to.
JAMIE:but you like the look of me
ROY:Yes, I fucking like the look of you.
ROY:You don’t need me to flatter you.
JAMIE:it wouldn’t hurt
JAMIE:how are you supposed to fuck me or wank me off or kiss me close-mouthed like a granny without otherwise touching me or whatever it is this is going to involve if you can’t tell me i’m pretty?
ROY:😡
ROY:I’m not good at
ROY:Talking.
JAMIE:🥱
ROY:You look nice.
JAMIE:aaaaaand?
ROY:You’re fucking magic on the pitch. You already were, and then you came back and I came back and you’ve learned to be a team player and how to balance that with your natural show-stealing talent.
ROY:I used to hate the way the ball always went exactly where you wanted it to go, but it’s stunning to watch now.
ROY:It is genuinely fucking arousing to watch you score. Maybe because I have personal pride in helping make you as good as you are.
ROY:And that stupid fucking headband has no right looking as good as it does on you.
ROY:Happy?
JAMIE:uh yeah
JAMIE:thanks man
JAMIE:i don’t really know what to say
ROY:You could always reciprocate.
JAMIE:what, tell you how fit you are?
ROY:Wouldn’t hurt.
9:16PM
ROY:This is fucking hypocritical right here.
JAMIE:i know it’s just
JAMIE:i’m trying to figure out how to say it
ROY:Do you think I give a shit if you aren’t eloquent about this.
JAMIE:it’s not that
JAMIE:all that you said was really nice but it’s also
JAMIE:recent
ROY:Is your admiration not recent?
JAMIE:i used to really look up to you, didn’t i?
JAMIE:but i guess seeing you as someone i could actually talk to is recent
JAMIE:that thing in manchester, i really appreciated that
JAMIE:made me feel cared for and i haven’t felt that lately
JAMIE:i don’t really know where we stand but i trust you or something i guess
ROY:You needed a hug, so I gave you a fucking hug.
JAMIE:yeah and it meant a lot okay
JAMIE:i haven’t seen my mum in ages, not since pre-season
JAMIE:haven’t had a proper hug since then
JAMIE:i like hugs
ROY:Comparing me to your mum isn’t exactly what I had in mind.
JAMIE:wait, that was about a week and a half ago
JAMIE:is that what started all of this?
JAMIE:i’m not going to cry in front of keeley just because that turns her on
ROY:That’s not what it’s about.
ROY:I don’t think.
ROY:She does like crying though.
JAMIE:i very much know that thanks
ROY:She said she’s never heard me talk about you nicely before.
ROY:She said she hasn’t really heard me talk about anyone that way.
ROY:All considerate or whatever.
ROY:It made my fucking heart ache how much you needed that hug.
JAMIE:she wants us to fuck missionary while staring into each other’s eyes doesn’t she
ROY:Fuuuuuck.
JAMIE:so should i pretend this conversation never happened?
ROY:Yeah, you can back out, of course.
JAMIE:woah hang on there
JAMIE:i ain’t backing out of nothing
JAMIE:i’m being considerate of your limits aren’t i
ROY:Who said anything about that being past my limits?
JAMIE:isn’t it?
ROY:I don’t know.
ROY:Is it past yours?
JAMIE:i don’t know
JAMIE:not exactly how i pictured it
ROY:When?
JAMIE:what?
ROY:When were you picturing it?
ROY:During this conversation?
JAMIE:not really to be honest
JAMIE:i’ve mostly been trying to wrap my head around it
ROY:Okay, so when?
JAMIE:after the game where you let me be a prick
ROY:What did you picture?
JAMIE:does it matter?
ROY:Tell me.
JAMIE:you coming into the showers after everyone had left
JAMIE:pushing me up against the tiles and laughing at me complaining about the cold and how quickly i stop when you get your hand around me
JAMIE:telling me i did good then getting on your knees to show me what happens when i’m good
ROY:Where anyone could walk in?
JAMIE:it’s a fantasy, isn’t it?
JAMIE:and you can’t wait to get your hands on me
ROY:It was a beautiful goal.
ROY:You did do good.
ROY:How does that make you feel?
JAMIE:pretty horny tbh
ROY:Don’t touch yourself.
ROY:Tell me when else you’ve thought about us.
JAMIE:uh
JAMIE:just about every time we fought when you were captain
ROY:Bet I wasn’t telling you you were good then.
JAMIE:sometimes you were
JAMIE:just angry like
JAMIE:all worked up because i was better than you and you wanted to get one over me
JAMIE:and you hated how hot you thought i was
JAMIE:again just fantasy before you lose your wig
JAMIE:other times we were fighting and somewhere along the way it got sexy
ROY:Who would win?
JAMIE:well technically we both did
ROY:Jamie.
JAMIE:you did
JAMIE:usually
JAMIE:not always
ROY:But mostly.
JAMIE:uh yeah
JAMIE:yeah i guess so
ROY:Is that how far back it goes?
JAMIE:well
JAMIE:not entirely
ROY:Go on.
JAMIE:man city gave me a couple of options when they loaned me out
JAMIE:i think they thought i might go to burnley, stay up north
JAMIE:but you were at richmond
JAMIE:you were going to be so impressed with me
ROY:You had a crush on me before we met.
JAMIE:i told you i had a poster on me wall
ROY:Fucking hell.
JAMIE:sorry can we just pretend i left it at when we was fighting or something
ROY:Not on your life.
JAMIE:i made it weird
ROY:I am not unhappy about this
JAMIE:really?
ROY:Have you thought about me when you’ve been with other people?
JAMIE:you’re kind of possessive aren’t you?
ROY:Answer me.
JAMIE:yeah i have
JAMIE:a lot
JAMIE:got a bit of a type too when it comes to men
JAMIE:older, intense, mad eyebrows, fit as hell
JAMIE:do you like that?
ROY:...
ROY:Yes.
JAMIE:this ain’t all for keeley is it?
ROY:It was.
JAMIE:you’re gonna put on a right show for her aren’t you?
JAMIE:you think you’ll let me all the way through the door before you’re all over me?
ROY:I can get you inside the house.
JAMIE:but barely
ROY:But barely.
JAMIE:you’ll get me up against the door as soon as it’s closed
ROY:In my arms, those fucking thighs of yours around my hips, hands on your arse.
ROY:What business have you got having an arse like that.
JAMIE:are you hard for me?
ROY:Yeah, and you’ll fucking know it too.
ROY:I want to bite you on your neck, your lip.
JAMIE:you can do that
JAMIE:i’d like that
JAMIE:i’ll kiss you like i’m fucking drowning
JAMIE:grind against you just to see if it makes you wilder
JAMIE:can i touch myself now
ROY:I want you to wrap a hand around your prick and hold it tight, and don’t move it until I say.
JAMIE:you’re fucking cruel
JAMIE:can keeley see that you’re hard?
ROY:Fuck, we’re fucking sexting.
ROY:Give me one minute to tell her.
JAMIE:i’ll just wait will i?
9:16PM
ROY:Sorry.
ROY:Did I ruin it?
JAMIE:that was fast
JAMIE:what did she say?
ROY:She asked why I was wasting time telling her, to “get it babe”, and she’s going to want to read the logs after.
ROY:She also offered to wank me off so I could pretend it was your hand, but I told her to go back to watching her movie and leave me alone.
JAMIE:that’s fucking hot
ROY:I know.
JAMIE:so she knows you’re hard now
ROY:Yeah.
ROY:But I’m not going to do anything about it.
JAMIE:why not?
ROY:Because I had to tell her we were doing this but I can’t in front of her, not when it isn’t about her or for her.
ROY:I don’t want to stop and I can’t go hide away from her when she knows what I’m doing, but I’m not
ROY:It’s private, even though it’s not.
JAMIE:your mind is proper baffling
JAMIE:you’re just going to sit there, fully fucking erect, pretending she doesn’t know, while she also pretends she’s not watching you out of the corner of her eye?
JAMIE:take her up on the hand job thing
ROY:What?
JAMIE:then it ain’t private
JAMIE:as hot as your weird jewish repression is
ROY:That doesn’t have anything to do with it.
JAMIE:look i love the idea of you pent up and horny and not able to touch yourself while i dirty talk you into creaming your panties untouched, i love it very much
JAMIE:but i think you’ll feel better if she gets in on this
ROY:I don’t want to pretend she’s you.
JAMIE:ain’t like she’s never done that kind of thing before
JAMIE:but no
JAMIE:she’s your girlfriend wanking you off while another guy talks you off, how is that not sexy?
ROY:Am I supposed to let her read this while she does it?
JAMIE:better idea
JAMIE:you tell her what i’m saying and you tell me what she’s doing to you
ROY:How is that better?
JAMIE:uh, cos it’s really hot
JAMIE:and i think you’ll get off on being forced to talk about it out loud
JAMIE:what does she think about it?
ROY:She wants to suck me off so she doesn’t have to use her right hand on me.
JAMIE:fuuuuuuuuuck
JAMIE:permission fully granted if that’s something you want from me
ROY:She’s fucking teasing me first.
ROY:Kissing my neck, touching my thighs, but not there.
JAMIE:okay okay that’s good
JAMIE:tell me about your fantasy for us
ROY:The three of us?
JAMIE:just you and me
JAMIE:she wants to watch right?
ROY:Since when do you give the orders?
JAMIE:since you gave me an opening
JAMIE:cmon man i told you mine
ROY:Not all of them I bet.
JAMIE:not even close
JAMIE:tell me yours anyway
ROY:Since I came back on as coach, since I started coaching you for real instead of ignoring you, you’ve done almost everything I’ve told you to. Not exactly without question, but
ROY:Enthusiastically.
ROY:I think about what it would be like if I got you alone and told you to get on your knees.
ROY:If you’d tease me like Keeley fucking is or if you’d just take me deep enough to choke without thinking.
JAMIE:what’s keeley doing?
ROY:She’s stroking my cock so light I don’t know if I’m imagining her touch and kissing me on my stomach.
ROY:She’s
ROY:Started to lick me
ROY:So light with that too
JAMIE:i might be able to do that the second time
JAMIE:but that’s too much restraint for me now
JAMIE:the only thing that would slow me down would be how much i want to take the whole experience in
JAMIE:press my nose into your crotch
JAMIE:taste your precum properly before your pricks in my mouth and past my tongue
JAMIE:please roy can i move my hand
ROY:No.
ROY:Not yet.
JAMIE:i hate you i hate you i want to suck your cock so fucking bad
ROY:You’d let me get my hand in your pretty hair wouldnt you
ROY:Mess you up just a bit. So you and I knew
JAMIE:yeah
JAMIE:i like that
JAMIE:love it
JAMIE:want you to show me how fast you want it
JAMIE:how deep
JAMIE:please let me move my hand
ROY:Yeah alright
ROY:Move it away.
ROY:Make two fingers and suck them for me.
JAMIE:i need it roy please
ROY:Keeleys moving her mouth over me now.
ROY:Slow and wet and not sucking at all
JAMIE:roy
ROY:Are you in bed?
JAMIE:yes
ROY:Rolll over and you can grind against the sheets.
JAMIE:thank u
ROY:That’s my leg.
ROY:I’m letting you rub up against my leg as you blow me because you’er being so good.
JAMIE:ill do anything
ROY:I know you will.
ROY:How does it feel?
JAMIE:i cant go as hard as i need or it hurts but i cant stop
JAMIE:im making a mess of m pillow im pushing my fingers deep in my mouth it’s wet against my cheek
ROY:Your fingers?
JAMIE:your cock it’s your cock i want you to choke me with it
JAMIE:i want to cum so bad im close but i cant
JAMIE: tellm e what keeleys doing
ROY: She’s going faster
ROY: Still not sucking but her lips are tight
ROY: I’m holding her hair back it’s soft in my hand
JAMIE: please roy
ROY: I’m telling her you’re begging for it
JAMIE: please fuck please
JAMIE: sent a voice message
00:06
ROY: Fuck okay
ROY: Use your hand all wet from your mouth
ROY: You ssound so good baby tell me how it feels
JAMIE: on the edge
JAMIE: close
JAMIE: so clos
JAMIE: roy
ROY: Let me hear youagain
JAMIE: sent a voice message 00:13
JAMIE: roy
ROY: I’m here I’m
ROY: Come for me jamie
ROY: You’re doing so good.
ROY: sent a voice message 00:09
JAMIE: fff;;;;;;
ROY: There’s a good lad.
ROY: Did you do as I said?
JAMIE: always coach
ROY: Fuck that’s
ROY: I want to hear you say that sometime.
ROY: Like this.
JAMIE: not now?
ROY: I’m fucking spent.
JAMIE: could always go again
ROY: Not all of us are still going through puberty.
JAMIE: ah of course
JAMIE: the true downside to being an octogenarian
ROY: So, dinner?
JAMIE: 🍆🍆🐈🐿️🎉?
ROY: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
JAMIE: ask keeley granddad
JAMIE: reckon it’s past your bedtime anyway
JAMIE: surprised you made it this late
JAMIE: i’m going to get myself a beer run a bath and have a wank in it to a roy kent thirst compilation
JAMIE: see you in the morning 😘
ROY: This is not something we bring with us to work.
ROY: No sneaking around or flirting or so much as a wayward fucking glance while we’re at the club, do you hear me?
JAMIE: yescoach
JAMIE: 😉
ROY: I mean it.
JAMIE: of course!
JAMIE: 😉
ROY: Fucking hell.