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Ted and Beard were grabbing their things after the last meeting of the season when there was a knock at the door. “Howdy there Keeley. Thought we were the only ones burning the late night oil,” Ted chuckled as Keeley timidly pushed open the door.
“I was actually hoping to catch you. You’re both going back to Kansas for some of the break aren’t you?” Keeley asked, leaning on the door and drumming her fingers on it nervously.
“That we certainly are. The feeling of home is calling and I am certainly picking up that phone call. Do you want to be on the BBQ sauce delivery list?” Ted asked but Keeley quickly shook her head.
“Um, no. Thank you though. I was actually wondering if you wouldn’t mind doing a bigger favour for me?” the pace of Keeley’s nails clacking on the door increased in intensity.
“Anything for you Miss Jones!” Ted replied immediately and even Beard nodded. And that was high praise from him.
“Great. I’ve got a friend in the states. He’s based out of St Louis which isn’t far from Kansas right?” Keeley asked but didn’t wait for a reply. “He’s been off the grid since he moved out there and I’m kind of getting worried about him but I can’t reach him. I’ve got his address and was wondering if you wouldn’t mind nipping over there and just checking he’s fine and tell him to unblock my number. I’ll text you his details thanks babes,” Keeley rambled and then disappeared before Ted or Beard could say anything.
“It’s a six hour drive,” Beard muttered as the door was swinging shut.
“We did say we would help,” Ted sighed.
“We, didn’t say anything Theodore.”
“I don’t think this is a good idea Ted,” was the next thing that Beard said on the matter. This was a week later and while Ted was getting behind the wheel of their rental for a six-hour drive to St Louis.
“It’ll be fine,” Ted muttered, even though he was not sure it would be fine. Ted was invested in his lads. The boys on his teams were always a part of his family and he would keep tabs on them long after they had flown the coop. Apart from one opinionated striker who had left Ted’s stewardship under a dark cloud. And who had apparently finished talking to Ted and then signed a contract with St Louis City, flown halfway across the earth and had cut off contact with everyone in England. Who they were now driving six hours to make sure he was ok because his ex-girlfriend was worried about him. On the flight Beard had rattled off Jamie Tartt statistics and he did seem to be thriving in the MLS league. He was top goal scorer and his team were top of their conference. But in some of the clips Beard had shown him, Ted could see why Keeley was worried. For all his flaws Jamie Tartt was a peacock who thrived in the limelight with the ball at his feet. However while they watched the highlight reels, he was subdued. He never celebrated more than a pat on the back from his teammates. He didn’t do interviews. There were no sponsorship deals or ad campaigns. His social media was dead since the posting about Lust Conquers All. There was nothing that screamed Jamie Tartt about this.
“You keep telling yourself that coach.”
Beard and Ted had done enough roadtrips that this one was relatively painless even with one small addition. “Are we there yet Dad?” Henry called out from the backseat about two hours into the drive. Henry was not missing out on getting to see the Jamie Tartt play football again. Somehow Jamie was still his favourite player (if badgered he would say Dani was his favourite current Richmond player but Jamie still possessed a large part of his affection after that one time he was nice to him in the changing room.
“Not yet bud but we are not yet far enough into this journey that I cannot reconsider bringing you with us,” Ted looked in his mirror and Henry quickly quietened down. They stopped for food but still arrived at the stadium in plenty of time for the match. St Louis were playing Colorado and people were expecting Jamie to net at least a couple and hoping the defence could hold out. “Look what I got,” Ted beamed, waving a St Louis bag at Beard.
“Absolutely not,” Beard muttered and Henry screeched in joy. Quickly Henry and Ted were decked out in St Louis City Tartt 9 shirts. And Beard was wearing his Richmond jacket.
“We’ll go see Jamie after the match. I managed to get us seats near the tunnel so if we shout loud enough he might be able to hear us,” Ted beamed, as they headed inside with Henry’s hand in this. A chance to bond and to catch up with one of his old players. This was going to be a good day.
Their seats were near the tunnel and Henry was stood on his seat ready to try and get Jamie’s attention. Fireworks filled the stadium with noise and the sky with smoke as the teams walked out onto the pitch. Once the banging had ceased, Henry started to shout and wave. Ted just watched Jamie. He was one of the last out of the tunnel. He still bounced as he walked like he always used to but his face was a steely mask as he surveyed the crowd. That expression, or lack of it, did not look right on Jamie’s face. Even when he was resisting the team spirit, he still wore everything on his face. Now it was just blank. His eyes drifted over the crowd aimlessly as he strode forwards. Until he caught Ted. His eyes continues to drift past his former coach but then seems to double take. First, Jamie looks like he had seen a ghost, his eyes widen and jaw goes slack. He stumbles slightly and then his expression shifts to one of confusion as a team mate pats him on the back to keep him moving. Ted waves and points to Henry who was only remaining stood on the chair though his bouncing due to Beard holding him up by the scruff of his new Jamie Tartt shirt. His eyes flicker to Henry, confusion still written all the way through his now tense jawline, but does give Henry a salute and a smile before running to join his teammates.
Jamie scored a hattrick. But yet again, he didn’t celebrate. Not once. Not as his team were huddling and jumping celebrating the win. Not as they were circling to the pitch clapping to the crowd. As they approached the tunnel, Jamie stopped in the entrance way. The rest of the team jogged past him but Jamie just stood there, glowering at the floor with his jaw clenched and twitching. After a moment he sighed, his shoulders slumped and he let out a massive exhale. He turned to look at Ted and waved them down to pitch level. Henry quickly jumped down the stairs to get to the barrier at the same time as Jamie got there wearing the first smile Ted had seen on him. “Hey there little Lasso,” he offered Henry a high five.
“Jamie! Your goals were so good,” Henry beamed as he jumped for Jamie’s high five.
“Thanks buddy. First one’s always for just us two, you remember,” he sighed, ruffling Henry’s hair. Henry let out a little barely audible gasp and started bouncing on his toes.
“I do remember and Dad that was the best one,” Henry turned to Ted as he reached the barrier.
“That’s aces then kiddo. You were going to ask Jamie here for something,” Ted smiled at Jamie who just glanced up before returning his attention to Henry.
“Oh yeah. Can you sign my shirt? So it matches my Richmond one,” Henry rambles as he presses a pen into Jamie’s hand. He spins around, proudly showing the number 9 on his back. Ted only had eyes for Jamie in this moment. He didn’t know the lad as well as others at Richmond did. Their tenures had only overlapped for a short period and Jamie seemed to have a sixth sense for ways to antagonise Ted. However he did think that Jamie had the capacity to be better and did now have a greater understanding of what made Jamie Tartt tick. Despite all that it was the dad in Ted that was sounding the warning sirens. Even when Jamie was chatting with Henry with a smile, his eyes were distant. To cut a long story short, Jamie was sad. And Ted hated to see his players sad. Even though Jamie didn’t play for him anymore and even though Ted had stopped Jamie from being one of his players, Ted was still protective. He just wanted Jamie to be ok. Maybe it was to make himself feel better about turning Jamie away. Maybe it wasn’t. But that didn’t matter.
“There you go pipsqueak. How about you and Coach Beard have a bit of a run around on the pitch and let me and your dad catch up before I come and join you?” Jamie ruffled Henry’s hair and lifted him effortless over the barrier. Jamie exchanges nods with Beard and the duo leave Ted alone with Jamie. As soon as Henry is out of his eyeline, the smile drops away. “Why are you here Ted?” Jamie asks with an unexpected bone weary tiredness.
“Keeley was worried about you. Said you blocked her number. We were coming over to this side of the pond and saw you would be playing,” Ted rattled off, avoiding Jamie’s stare.
“I didn’t block her. Changed my number and didn’t tell her,” Jamie muttered, his hands bunching in the bottom of his mudstained pink shirt. “So you can tell her I’m alive and fine or whatever. Good seeing you Ted,” he shrugged, turning to go join Beard and Henry as Henry sprinted off all of his energy jumping around the pitch.
“You don’t seem fine Jamie,” Ted replied. Jamie stopped in place, his eyes closed and his breathing deep.
“What do you expect Ted? I’m in fucking Missouri playing for a basically amateur side for little to no money and no international recognition,” Jamie rounded on Ted, his words filled with venom and spite.
"You seem to be rocking their world though Jamie. Buckets of goals to your name," Ted whispered, his heart sinking further as Jamie laughed in his face.
"Really Ted. Oh I had hoped you would have learnt something after two years faking your way through being a prem manager. The MLS is where careers go to die. It's for people who couldn't make it in Europe or refuse to retire," Jamie commented with a sneer. There was some sad part of Ted that was just happy to see Jamie looking and sounding like himself. That was pathetic wasn’t it. “I don’t want to be here. But it was this or fade even deeper into obscurity by taking drugs on tv until either the media cycle gets bored or it fucking kills me. I,” Jamie’s resolve fluttered for a moment as his eyes met Ted. But then his jaw clenched again and teeth ground together. “I need to be playing,” he said quietly. “So, job done Ted. You’ve checked in, I’m alive. Tell Keeley that she can stop worrying, and it was good to know her. Tell Henry I’m sorry but I’ve got post match meetings,” then Jamie was gone down the tunnel before Ted could even open his mouth. He didn’t know what to say anyway.
Ted sent Beard and Henry back to Wichita the next evening without him. Henry was reluctant but Ted put his foot down. He needed to do this on his own. It was a stupid idea. AFC Richmond was in a great place, they had scraped back up into the Premiership through the play offs. Dani was scoring goals, Sam and Colin were creating heaps of chances. But Rebecca and Beard and Roy had all made it absolutely clear that they needed to be more ruthless and efficient with converting those chances. They were looking to use some of that tv money to bring Dani in a striking partner. “Good afternoon Ted. How’s Kansas?” Rebecca asks, answering the phone after a couple of rings.
“I’m actually in Missouri and I need to ask you something and I’d really appreciate you hearing me out,” Ted rambled.
“Ok?” Rebecca dragged out the word in her confusion.
“I think we should sign Jamie Tartt back,” Ted stated and was slightly prepared for the laugh that echoed down the line.
“Tartt? Who quit Man City to go on TV and is now playing in back of beyond USA?” Rebecca continued to laugh.
“Missouri actually,” Ted half heartedly corrected, “but yes. Him.”
“That’s truly insane,” Rebecca hissed.
“Actually I think it might be the most sane thing I’ve suggested since taking the job. I never wanted to get rid of Jamie and I think that he’d leap at the opportunity to come back to the Premier League. We need a striker,” Ted tried to plead his case but at every point Rebecca was humming, entirely unconvinced.
“You’ve put everything into having a positive changing room and now you are advocating for the black hole of joy who relegated us to return?” Rebecca replied.
“He was just doing his job when he relegated us, and he’s changed and I’m sure he’ll be a better teammate this time around. He was making those changes before you sent him away,” Ted was not above low blows but Rebecca’s intake of breath showed that she didn’t see the guilt trip coming.
“You are a sly one Mr Lasso. But I’ll indulge you in that little moment of emotional blackmail. Do you genuinely think that Jamie will make this team better over any of the other people that the scouts have sent your way. Hell even Zava is a free agent now,” Rebecca’s voice slipped effortlessly into business mode.
“Well I don’t know much about this Zorro fella but I think Jamie is the best out there and can help us do what I promised if we believe in him,” Ted chuckled. Rebecca sighed again.
“Don’t make me regret this Ted but fine. I’ll talk to his club, you need to get him on board,” and with that Rebecca hung up dramatically.
That night Rebecca had got in touch with a provisional contract and the word that St Louis were not against a sale. They would talk to Jamie on Monday but Ted wanted to talk to him first. It wouldn’t seem genuine if some suit took Jamie out of training to tell him to move back to London. Ted owed Jamie that much after not being able to stop him leaving London the first time. Keeley had been able to find out Jamie’s address some how and now Ted was getting out of his taxi in the middle of nowhere in front of a small cottage. Also, not what he was expecting.
“Oh fuck off,” Jamie sighed, slamming the door in Ted’s face. Ted rang the bell again. The door opened again, “what was not clear about fuck off?”
“I need to talk to you Jamie, so I’ll stay out here ringing this bell all night,” Ted shrugged. Jamie glowered at him again but Ted had survived Henry’s toddler years, petulant stares did not work on him anymore.
“Fine, one coffee then you are calling that car back,” Jamie huffed, turning and storming off deeper into the house. Ted scurried in after him before Jamie changed his mind.
“Talk quickly,” Jamie prompted, gesturing for Ted to sit on the settee and stepping through into the open plan kitchen.
“That is an expertise of mine,” Ted replied, quickly. “Well after seeing you yesterday and seeing how well you were performing out there I started to think that maybe I was too rash in telling you no back in the Crown and Anchor earlier this season,” Ted paused. The bubbling of water was the only noise and no sign that Jamie had heard him. So Ted did what he did best, he kept talking. “AFC Richmond need a striker. Dani is doing an excellent job up there on his own but I still dream about two aces. Rebecca is on board and we want you to come back and help us win the whole thing this year.”
"So this is what it took then," all the bravado from earlier truly gone as Jamie placed the cup of coffee in front of Ted and then slumped back into the plush chair to be consumed by the cushions and blanket.
"Jamie?" Ted questioned. Jamie huffed a weak laugh, chewing on the string of his hoodie absentmindedly.
"I wondered for so long after you turned me down what it would have taken for you to let me back to Richmond," Jamie half shrugged as he explained. "I stupidly thought bringing you that little toy and coming back with my tail between my legs would be enough. But it wasn't," Jamie sighed. He was resigned to it. Ted felt a flash of guilt then. Somehow, he had forgotten about that lost kid that nursed a pint at the Crown and Anchor. That kid that had been so brave to go and beg someone for a second chance. It was easy when Jamie apparently leapt at the next offer that had been placed in front of him. It was easy to think he was ok. It gave him that sinking feeling to now know that Jamie's only two options had been apparently to uproot his whole life to play in a lesser league or to do drugs on TV.
"Jamie," Ted for once in his life couldn't find the words to make this all ok. Maybe he couldn't make this all ok.
"It's all been mind games and I let it haunt me for too long. Be a team player Jamie, bare your soul and we'll reward you by throwing you out with the rubbish and making you a laughing stock. Pass the ball Jamie, damn the consequences but we'll ignore you when those consequences come knocking. You got us relegated Jamie, but here's a sweet note and stupid little toy even though we all hated you. Everyone deserves a second chance but not you Jamie, it's not the best idea. But I've found it." Jamie barked out a cynical laugh. "I'm lost and broken enough now to agree to anything. Lost and broken enough to join the Lasso and Kent personality cult. You've won Ted. Whatever your plan was you've won. Because I can't say no. If I ever want to play real football again. If I ever want to play for England. Then I've got to sign on the dotted line. So congratulations Ted. You've got your loyal little puppy," Jamie bit out and tossed something small and pointy onto Ted's chest. "I'm going to bed. Let yourself out. I'll send the contract to your hotel," Jamie huffed and disappeared upstairs as Ted stared at the little army man which had clattered onto the floor after hitting Ted. Ted’s brain couldn’t comprehend it. Was that really what Jamie thought? Was that really the impression of himself that the young man had carried for the past year? Was that really what he did? Jamie didn’t lie anywhere in his tirade, that was the heartbreaking part. Ted picked up the army man and ran his fingers over the details. The edges were smoothed down and some of the details had been lost and Ted could tell why as he ran his thumb over the edges. He could imagine Jamie sat in this exact position, except probably with his spine contorted into a pretzel that Ted wouldn’t even be able to emulate at any point in his life, holding the toy in his hand thinking about how Ted hated him. There were very few people in this world that Ted hated and Jamie was nowhere near that list. His mind played through all the interactions he had with Jamie and tried to see how his intentions could have been so misunderstood. His mind ended up returning to relegation day and the visitors treatment room. Subconciously Ted knew he had been trying to parent Jamie. It was a part of how he coached the young men who had been entrusted into his care. Usually that makes his players comfortable, he could hear Sam saying that Ola trusted in Ted to look after his son. How had it gone so wrong with Jamie? He couldn’t leave. He couldn’t abandon Jamie again. Ted’s breath tightened in his chest. He couldn’t be the one to leave.
“Jamie?” Ted called out, knocking on the only closed door in the upstairs of the house.
“Told you to piss off Lasso, didn’t realise your hearing had gone in the last year,” Jamie’s voice carried weakly through the wood of his door.
“I heard you. But decided that I needed to talk to you,” Ted sat down on the floor by the door. If Jamie wasn’t going to let him in then he’d just talk to the wood. “I wanted to say I’m sorry,” Ted sighed, measuring his next words carefully. “Sometimes its easy to forget that I don’t know everything about the players on my team and I am not always the most clear with my intentions. So I’m going to be clear now. You are the best athlete I’ve coached and I want you back in Richmond. I want you Jamie not a fightless shell or whatever you think I was trying to make you into,” Ted tried to explain. There was a scoff from Jamie.
“You didn’t want me for me. I tried, burnt my boots for that stupid ghost ceremony and was still thrown to the curb,” Jamie laughed harshly.
“I was so proud of you,” Ted replied automatically. Jamie barked out something that was between a laugh and a sob. “I didn’t want to make excuses. I was messed up that week, I mishandled you and the team. I shouldn’t have shouted at you but Jamie I never wanted to send you back. It was Rebecca, and Man City. I just wanted you to see that we needed to be a team.” There was silence that stretched as far as a marathon making Ted feel like he was back in Richmond with the distance between them.
“I don’t think I can trust you Ted,” Jamie whispered, along with the sound of his head hitting back against the wood of the door.
“That’s ok. But you were right earlier, this place is not for you. You need to be playing in the Premiership and showing everyone there what you can do. I’ll fight for your trust, and it’s up to you if I ever earn it but trust in Rebecca, in Beard, in Roy that if this wasn’t the right thing for Richmond then they would have shut me down in an instant,” Ted finished his plea and just listened to Jamie’s hitching breathing on the other side of the door.
“Ok.”
And with that whispered admission, Ted had a chance to fix what he had broken.