Work Text:
he's six when he first hears the word.
talentless
he must have heard it before, but he was too small, too young to understand what it meant.
(talentless = weak, pathetic, worthless, stupid, unwanted)
the person who spit out the ugly word storms out of the shop, leaving his father standing near the counter, mouth half-open as if he was about to reply but couldn't form the sentence in time.
(that night, his mother tells him that it doesn't matter if someone is talentless or not. she smiles at him, but he can tell it's half-hearted.)
(when did he become so good at reading in between the lines?)
he's eight when a tall, dark-haired elf tells him that he'll never get into foxfire because he's [stupid, weak, pathetic worthless unwanted TALENTLESS]. His father covers his ears and quickly ushers him away but he can faintly hear his mothers words as she berates the (stranger? how could a stranger know so much about him?).
(he cries himself to sleep that night because he realizes that he won't be the one to decide if he's good enough for the world)
he's eleven when he first steps through the massive, glittering doors to foxfire. despite himself, his eyes widen in awe as he attempts to take in the building. when he'd gotten his invitation, his parents had burst into smiles, but he had heard them whispering together when he should have been asleep. he knows that they're worried, but he's determined to prove them wrong, prove that he belongs here, belongs with these prestigious elves with parents who have talents and were on each others match lists.
(and when kids ignore him or whisper about him or laugh at him in his face, when mentors are surprised that he knows the right answer, he pretends that it doesn't bother him. he forces himself to push down the churning pit in his stomach until all he feels is static)
he's twelve when sophie foster appears in his life. he knows he's different (he's pretty sure that other people don't feel like machines parroting actions and spewing lines of code back at others) but sophie hasn't seen any of that yet and he has a chance, a chance to be someone besides the worthless, talentless, bad-match kid.
(and who knows, maybe sophie doesn't care about any of that. she was raised with humans, of course, maybe talents and matches and all of that don't hold as much weight for her as they do everyone else - and maybe, he admits to himself, as they do to him)
(he only admits it in the dark by the lake at a time much too early in the morning for anything to really make sense)
he's (still) twelve when the cave by sophie's house becomes the place of one of his worst nightmares. he's twelve when the sickly sweet smell of sedatives makes everything fade to black. he's twelve when he listens to the dark figures debate about whether or not to keep him alive (and in the end, decide that he's worthless, like everyone says). he's twelve when he feels a searing pain on his side and a voice whispers into his ear that if he moves the same thing will happen to his friend. he's twelve when he hears his best friend scream in agony as she's burned again and again and again, tortured for information that she doesn't have. he's twelve when he and sophie are (saved?) and left on their own in a strange city to find their way home. he's twelve when he almost dies (again). he's twelve when his best friend almost dies, again.
dex dizznee is twelve years old and he is watching his world begin to shatter.