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Goosed

Summary:

Bernard has come to expect the unexpected with Curtis, but that doesn't mean being able to expect the unexpected.

Notes:

Disclaimer - I don't own 48 Christmas Wishes or Santa Clause. This was written for Froday Winter Calendar 2023, prompt Day 6 - Geese a-laying.

Work Text:

Bernard!”

Bernard turned.

An explosion of things occurred in that moment he turned his head, including his head exploding. Figuratively, not literally, or at least Bernard hoped as he stared up at the ceiling, having been knocked off his feet. At the same time, he heard someone deliver a very late “Look out!” It was too late for him to teleport out of the way of whatever clocked him on the forehead, knocking himself off his feet.

His hands lifted, fingers arching, his head feeling like a bunch of firecrackers were going off in his head while his vision swam. He took a deep breath, then reached up a hand to—

Bernard let out a hiss.

Should I go and get Dr. Hismus?”

Yes,” Bernard muttered. He started to move, only—

The head elf sucked in his breath, collapsing back to the ground after trying to lift himself ever so slightly. He let it out. “Jinglesnaps.” And then, to the elves who were gathering, worried, he muttered, trying to keep his voice calm so as not to frighten them even more. “Can I have a bit of space?”

At least it’s not Curtis’ fault this time?”

Bernard frowned, then pinched the bridge of his nose. “Who…”

Bernie! I am so sorry!”

His eyes remained closed, the voice sounding familiar, yet—he sighed at the oohs from the other elves as none of them would have dared call him Bernie. He sighed before saying, “Hello, Mindy.”

Someone didn ’t think to tell him that his younger sister, Mindy Elfbright, would be starting at the North Pole, yet as he lay there, he tried contemplating why—

There was muttering from the other elves, who ’d already been caught off guard by the fact she called him the childish nickname, not that he minded, although he would mind if, say, Curtis started using it. He let out a soft humming sound as he waited for Dr. Hismus and, likely, Santa to show up. “What happened?”

She’s not even supposed to be on the floor.”

Who is she? The new recruits aren’t supposed to be here yet.”

Mindy,” Bernard said firmly, realizing there might be a reason he’d not caught onto the fact Mindy was starting—she wasn’t even supposed to be here, at least not yet. “What are you doing here?”

Well,” Mindy said. “That’s quite a goose egg.” She took a deep breath. “Mind not telling Auntie?”

Bernard ’s eyes remained closed, a hand to his face. “Telling her what?” He could also hear the other elves muttering, whispering from where they’d retreated.

That I came to the North Pole for starters?”

Mindy.” Bernard gritted his teeth. “You do understand the first chance I got. I’m personally taking you home.”

Not as if you’ve ever had an interest before!

And then came the usual ‘oohs’ whenever someone made the mistake of crossing Santa’s head elf. He wanted to snap back that she didn’t want him around—only that meant his private family dramas would become public, although they were already becoming very public.

And all I was doing was coming to see if the head elf could see about changing me from answering letters to making toys? I mean, Santa must have made a mistake.”

So this is why I didn’t have any forewarning of you showing up,” Bernard said as the elves tittered. “And for your information, Santa doesn’t make mistakes.” He took a deep breath. “And just because I’m avoiding the rest of the family for reasons I’d rather not get into, that doesn’t mean you need to avoid me here at the North Pole. You could have…”

Would you even have listened to me?” Mindy interrupted as Bernard lay prone on his back, which frustrated him as he couldn’t take Mindy away to make this a private conversation. “You brushed what I said off with ‘Santa doesn’t make mistakes.’”

Because he doesn’t,” Bernard said. “And I’m quite sure, Mindy, the head elf, is not going to transfer you to a different division.

You can’t be sure of that.”

Oh yes, he can,” one of the elves from nearby said as—

There were definite snickers from the elves watching.

Bernard!” Dr. Hicmus called out. “You didn’t try to move or transport yourself?”

It’s really not my fault this time, Santa,” Bernard heard Curtis say.

Bernard let a sigh. “Santa’s here, Mindy, so why don’t you take your little problem up with him.”

I’d rather speak to the head elf,” Mindy said.

Bernard is my head elf,” Santa said. And then, “You must be Mindy Elfbright. Bernard’s younger sister.”

Wait. Bernard’s head elf?”

Bernard groaned. “Can we talk about this later?”

Yes. Let’s get you back to your place. That’s quite a goose egg, by the way,” Santa said.

So I’ve been told,” Bernard muttered. And then, “And yes, Mindy. I am definitely telling our aunt because I will personally take you back.”

That might be awhile,” Dr. Hicmus said. “So I think Santa might want to inform her?”

Bernard sighed. He already didn ’t want to know what Mindy did that caused him to get knocked off his feet. “Fine.”