Chapter Text
Adrien is intimately aware of the fact that he isn’t perfect.
He has to. Because he knows perfect is what people expect from him, and he knows he is always falling short.
Adrien is intimately aware of the fact that he isn’t perfect.
But nobody else is.
For everyone else he’s Adrien Agreste™, property of Gabriel - and with Gabriel everything is perfect. He has to have the perfect smile, the perfect body, the perfect life, the perfect attitude, the perfect everything .
Adrien Agreste™ is radiant, carefree, dreamy. He’s Adrien the Fragrance. Adrien the Model. Adrien the Per fect .
Adrien the Per son , however, isn’t any of those things.
He isn’t a fragrance (unless you count the camembert), he isn’t a perfume, and he isn’t perfect.
(He doesn’t know what he is.)
But everyone expects him to be.
So, Adrien the Person may not be perfect, but Adrien Agreste™ is. And everyone wants Adrien Agreste™, not Adrien the Person.
One thing Adrien Agreste and Adrien the Person have in common is that they both love school.
Adrien Agreste loves it because of the friends he gets to make, because of the activities he gets to do and the stuff he gets to learn.
Adrien the Person loves it because variety is the spice of life. And at school he gets to take a break from being the perfect son, and instead gets to be the perfect student, the perfect friend.
Adrien the Person loves it because he isn’t constantly shoved in the corner, but rather he’s shoved in the front of the classroom.
Adrien the Person still needs to play the role of Adrien Agreste. He always has to play the role of Adrien Agreste (because everywhere he seems to go people know Adrien Agreste). But here he gets to play a variation of Adrien Agreste, a limited time offer version of Adrien Agreste, a seasonal special Adrien Agreste™.
And that’s a nice change in pace. Adrien Agreste: Student Edition™ still has to perform the same main functions as the original, which are looking good and smiling and being polite and perfect, but he also gets to do it with some slightly different accessories. Instead of being docile he has to be friendly. Instead of only listening when people talk he can respond. Instead of working himself to the bone with poses, he works himself to the bone with classwork.
Or at least he’s supposed to.
But apparently this Adrien Agreste: School Edition™ had some kind of manufacturing error- because for some reason he forgot about this physics test coming up (the reason is modeling and piano and fencing and chinese (and super-heroing), but he’s Adrien Agreste so none of that should be a problem), and as such was unable to study for it.
For a normal kid this wouldn’t be too much of a problem, Adrien is good at physics- he absorbs the material quickly and genuinely loves the class. So coming into your favorite class and being told there is a surprise test may at most make your heart skip a beat before calming down, but it isn’t the end of the world. When it’s your best class you have to just sit down and do what you can. Maybe you get a few of the more niche questions wrong because you didn’t study, but having a good grasp on the general concepts can get you pretty far.
The thing is, as the whole world seems to know, Adrien Agreste is not a normal kid.
He’s perfect.
Adrien can be a very hard person to read, even with Adrien Senses.
People would argue that he’s an open-book, but really Nino would say that what they see is simply the very eye-catching cover of a book. A cover so distinct that everyone assumes they already know what is in the book and don’t bother reading it.
Adrien is an excellent example of the phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover.” And it goes to show the amount of people who don’t heed that advice.
Being best friends for a year, getting Adrien Senses is kind of a requirement. And honestly those powers may be more impressive than the powers the turtle miraculous gives him. Because anyone could wield a miraculous, but how many can read the person behind the dazzling smiles his bro makes?
That’s why the key to Adrien Senses aren’t about looking at his face and his plastered-on smile.
It’s looking at his body.
Now, Nino is 100% in love with Alya, but the point remains that in order to understand how Adrien is doing, you have to look at his body. (And it’s not gay to look at a dude’s body once in a while for vibes, right?)
Typically, Adrien tends to constantly be moving in some way: writing in class, drumming his fingers in a piano-like pattern, biting his cheek, fidgeting with the sleeves of his jacket, playing with the ring on his finger, shifting in his seat. It’s not really noticeable unless you look for it, almost like he’s gotten used to hiding it. (which, given his father, Nino wouldn’t be surprised.) Adrien moving is a fact of life, he hates staying in one place for too long (which makes Nino wonder more about his modeling career) but he tends to do a good job at hiding it.
And when that changes Nino knows something is wrong.
It starts when Nino asks him for help with a question on the physics study guide for an upcoming test later in the day.
“The what?” Adrien says, yanking his head from looking at Marin– looking in a certain direction where certain people happen to be standing, towards Nino who had pulled out the paper with the aforementioned question on it.
“The study guide? I was working last night with Alya and we weren’t sure about number eleven, figured it was best to check with the weirdo who somehow likes this annoying subject.” Nino responds with a teasing jab at him, expecting an Adrien-like response that physics is actually an incredibly useful thing to know, and research of it has benefited mankind (and then he would start ranting about how Ladybug must often use physics to save Paris daily even though Nino has never heard her mention it once .)
But he doesn’t.
He gets quiet.
Really quiet.
And then… “Huh?” Adrien looks like a confused puppy, or maybe a kitten, who someone had suddenly yanked the toy from and hid behind their back.
“The study guide?” Nino repeats, still confused about his bro’s confusion, “For the tes-” Wait… “Holy shit did you forget there is a test today?”
And then Adrien freezes. All movement stopped including the consistent tapping he has been doing on his thighs since Nino saw him at school.
He had.
“You did?!” Holy shit. “Wow, Mr. Physics-Is-My-Second-Love-After-Ladybug forgot there was a test today?” Nino exclaims in shock.
And then instantly knew that was the wrong thing to say because Adrien looked sick, his hand coming to his finger to twist the ring he wore. And not the casual twisting he would sometimes do when he was bored or excited or talking about Ladybug or doing any baseline Adrien activity, but the anxious rotating where it was rough and fast and you worried about the skin beneath it.
Okay, uhhh, damage control: “H-hey, I mean, I wouldn’t worry too much dude. You’re one of the best in the class! And most of the stuff in the study guide is material you helped me out with last week, you probably don’t even need to study! A-and the study guide isn’t even a graded assignment! Don’t worry about your old man, I’m sure you’ll do fine. Better than me I’m sure.”
He’s not even lying. He’s sure Adrien would do fine if the test was dropped in front of him right now. He probably would have done well if he was given the test a week ago. So his father has to be the reason he’s panicking, right? The old geezer had threatened before to take Adrien out of school if his grades weren’t up to snuff (which for him means perfect.)
Adrien pauses, takes a breath, and looks at him, giving a little chuckle. “Yeah, Nino,” he says, putting his arm on Nino’s shoulder, “you’re probably right, what problem did you need help with?”
Nino’s unsure but holds out the paper again, pointing to the problem, and Adrien proceeds to explain the first law of motion and how it applies to kinetics.
But the whole time Nino can’t help but notice that he’s still twisting his ring.
If there were to be an extra credit question on the exam to explain how these physics concepts relate to daily life, he would say that the first law of motion fits using Adrien Senses quite well.
An object in motion stays in motion with the same speed unless acted on by an external force.
And an external force seems to have just hit Adrien.
As the day goes on it only seems to get worse from there.
Nino watches during class as the subtle, fluid movements Adrien tends to normally make turn into blown-out fidgeting, including tapping his foot under their shared desk at increased speed until the whole thing was vibrating and it was a struggle to write anything down. Which is when Nino knows something is really wrong.
Because rule #2 of Adrien Senses, Adrien never taps his feet if he can help it, restricting most fidgeting to subtle things using his upper body. That’s not to say Adrien doesn’t fidget with his legs, but when he does it tends to be because something is wrong, and the fidgeting never seems to last more than a minute- because the second Adrien is aware he’s doing it he seems to put effort in to stop (which is another thing to add to the “Reasons I Hate Gabriel Agreste” list Nino has).
But the table has been vibrating for the past ten minutes, and is starting to gain the attention of Alya and Marinette behind them.
“Boys, is everything okay over there?” Mme. Bustier’s voice cuts in, pulling Nino from his observation of the obscure creature that is Adrien to the front of the room where Mme. Bustier is looking at them with concern.
The vibrating table stops and Adrien stops taking notes to turn to Nino with a concerned look on his face as he says “Yeah? Nino, you good?”
And it maybe would convince him, except once Mme. Bustier turns back to teaching the lesson Nino can swear he hears Adrien breathe the word “idiot” to himself as he goes back to taking notes and the rest of the class period goes on without Adrien fidgeting at all.
Once break comes, Nino’s about to ask Adrien if he’s okay, but the blond quickly rushes past him saying he has to use the bathroom.
And then he’s gone.
He’s such an idiot.
That’s all Adrien can think as he rushes into a bathroom stall during the fifteen minute break before the physics test that he stupidly forgot about.
How stupid can he be?
Well the answer there is very. There’s a reason why Ladybug is the leader of their duo (trio? quartet? team?) There’s a reason why father never asks Adrien for input when it comes to the advertisement campaigns he’s in. There’s a reason why Plagg and Ladybug never told him about Master Fu. There’s a reason why Nino and Alya constantly call him a “sunshine child” whenever he calls Marinette a “friend”. There’s a reason why Ladybug looks exhausted at every other word that comes out of his mouth and got new teammates.
And that reason is that Adrien is an idiot.
Because only an idiot would completely forget about a test in their favorite class, then panic to the point of losing control and making distracting, obnoxious movements in class that he’s been repeatedly told by his father are inappropriate. All the way to the point where Mme. Bustier had to stop her lesson and ask if he’s okay.
And he’s fine!
Adrien Agreste has to be fine. Which means to everyone watching Adrien is fine, because for them Adrien is Adrien Agreste.
And Adrien Agreste is a perfect star student who is always getting perfect grades to take to his perfect home for his perfect father so he can live his perfect life.
And so what if this perfection gets ruined because Adrien stupidly forgot about a test in his favorite subject? So what if something Adrien genuinely loves doing is what ruins the perfection that is Adrien Agreste™? So what if, after all this time he’s spent blathering on to people about physics, that’s the class that he ends up falling apart in?
So what if he has fifteen minutes to get his act together before the perfection Adrien has crafted for everyone goes to hell?
Fifteen. Minutes.
And with that he opens his bag and pulls out his physics notebook, tearing through the pages as he tries to cling onto any possible bits of knowledge that might have slipped through his useless brain.
A black blob comes out of his bag as well, “Kid-”
“You should hide Plagg, anyone could come in.” He desperately whispers as he looks away from the notebook for a second to see if he can recall the different types of mechanical energy and the equations for them.
Plagg just floats in front of him. “We’re in a locked bathroom stall, Adrien,” he says, like he’s an idiot.
Well to be fair Adrien is an idiot, that’s been well-established.
He ignores him and looks back at his notes: yep, kinetic energy, elastic potential energy and mechanical pote-
“Adrien!”
He forces himself to look back up at Plagg, who is looking increasingly concerned. Why is Plagg concerned? He’s fine. He has to be fine. Because this is just one stupid test and Nino is probably right, Adrien will probably score well regardless of the fact that he hasn’t studied at all or done the study guide and what if there are questions on the study guide that weren’t discussed in previous homework, so Adrien has no idea that these concepts will be on there even though everyone else will and what happens if now he forgets the equation for elastic potential energy despite having previously thought he knew it, or what if it turns out that the equation he had learned was wrong and his notes are wrong and he’s wrong and everything’s wrong and-
“ADRIEN!”
“What?” He chokes out as he brings himself to focus on Plagg again who had at some point become a blurry black and green blob directly in front of his face.
Plagg’s voice drops down to the voice he uses when Adrien has shut down in his room after a day has become Too Much. “Hey kid, it’s just a test, and Hat Boy is right: you’re really smart, at least with this shit, I’m sure everything with your old man will be fine.”
And he knows Plagg is right. At least about it being just a test. It’s one test in a class he has the highest grade out of everyone in, even Max, and even if he were to somehow completely bomb it his grade would probably still be an A.
So why is he panicking?
Plagg is still talking too… “-and if not I can always Cata-you-know-what him-”
“Plagg, I'm not worried about Father.” He says, cutting Plagg off from one of the threats he’s heard dozens of times but knows Plagg would (hopefully) never go through because that’s way too extreme. His father would never deserve to die!
Plagg just looks doubtful though, “Are you sure, kid? Because isn’t he the dick who says he’ll take you out of school if you do anything less than his insane, impossible standards?”
He ignores the “dick” and “insane, impossible standards” part and focuses on the “take you out of school” because yes, he has. But for some reason Adrien hadn’t even been thinking much about that until Plagg and Nino brought it up ( “Kid?”) and oh my kwami why was he panicking before ( “Kid?!” ) when this wasn’t even something he had truly considered and wow he really is stupid because he never thought about that even though they both had ( “Shit! Kid!”) and what if when he fails he also fails his father and Nino and Plagg because he can’t go to school or be friends with anyone or be Chat Noir anymore or-
“KID!” And then there’s a flash of pain by his ear and then Adrien is aware that everything has gotten blurry again and-
“Did you just bite me?” He breathes out in shock as Plagg floats from his ear back towards his face.
Plagg at least has the decency to look at little bit apologetic, “You were hurting yourself kid-” and then Adrien looks down to his arms where at some point he had starting scratching them raw, “-and the first bell just rang and I figured you’d-” SHIT.
Adrien forces himself up at that (when did he start sitting down?) and starts stuffing his notebook in his bag before rushing out of the stall, going to the sink to fix his hair and face so he doesn’t look any more pathetic.
“Kid, really, are you okay?” Plagg says as he floats by Adrien as he quickly combs through his hair and splashes some water on his face.
“Yeah Plagg I’ll be fine,” and also- “and aren’t you supposed to be hiding, anyone could come in!” Because the last thing Adrien needs today is to screw up even more and have his identity revealed.
“No one’s coming in,” Plagg calmly says with complete confidence, “and if they somehow did, I’d hide. People are blind anyways, I need to make sure my kid isn’t dying in a public school bathroom.”
Adrien would normally make a joke, but Plagg genuinely looks concerned, which only makes him feel worse because shit, did he actually scare Plagg? The last thing he wants is someone to worry about his pathetic self, and Plagg is a god , surely he has better things to do?
Adrien brushes his hands through his hair one more time and looks at the mirror. Yeah, he looks passably like radiant, carefree, dreamy Adrien Agreste. He then turns to the floating black kwami, cupping him in his hands and petting him to hopefully comfort the little guy after Adrien’s needlessly dramatic breakdown.
“I’ll be okay Plagg,” he says, forcing some calm into his voice, “but now I need to get to class-” to fail “-and you need to hide.”
Plagg just pushes his head into the hand petting him before he floats into his bag, awaiting the failure that is Adrien.
Adrien takes one more breath before he leaves the bathroom, ignoring the mirror that he doesn’t remember having been cracked before, as he heads towards physics class. Where everything will be totally fine.
Because it has to be. He has to be.
(He doesn’t know what he’ll do if he’s not.)
If Nino’s Adrien Senses were tingling before, they are ringing now. Ringing like one of those alarms installed to alert people of an akuma sighting.
Nino didn’t see the dude for the entire break after he disappeared right after class, even attempting to check the bathroom at some point only to find the door locked.
Maybe the bathroom was broken so Adrien had to walk somewhere farther?
Maybe… but Nino waits all break while holding hands with Alya for his best bro to show up and he never does. Marinette also asks where Adrien was, with him only to say that he thinks Adrien went to the bathroom but should be back soon, because the last thing he wants is Marinette to work herself into an anxious frenzy over Adrien’s whereabouts. By the time the first bell rings he can tell they’re both worried, but Alya just pulls them over to Mme. Mendeleiev’s class for that dumb physics test they have to take, saying Adrien will probably meet them there.
And she’s right, seconds before the final bell Adrien rushes through the door and throws himself into the seat, giving a smile to them that based on everything else today Nino can only assume is fake but before he can ask-
“Kubdel. Pass these out.” Mme. Mendeleiev’s voice cuts through the chattering in the room right after the final bell rings. As Alix gets out of their seat to pass out the torture devices that are physics tests their teacher continues with their normal test spiel: “You will have the next seventy minutes to complete this test, nothing is allowed on your desk except for a number two pencil- quit your giggling M. Chiến Lê! And a calculator-”
She continues to talk but Nino and the rest of the class have all heard this a million times before, so unless she randomly adds in that you need to break dance before turning the test in (which, honestly sounds rad and would make this whole thing 1000x cooler) then it should all be the same boring stuff.
Adrien’s just twisting his ring, though, staring intently at Mme. Mendeleiev like every word she says could be life-changing. Taking a closer look he now notices that Adrien's shirt looks a bit wet, making Nino wonder again what happened during break.
“-begins now. You have seventy minutes.”
And then Nino has to tear his eyes away from Adrien towards the paper Alix must’ve put in front of him.
Okay, he can talk to Adrien about whatever is bothering him after but right now his physics grade is bordering on a C and the last thing he wants is his mom to take his headphones away until his grades improve. Even worse, she may not allow Nino to see Adrien in the little bit of freetime he does have outside of school.
He goes through the test relatively quickly, getting increasingly grateful for the time he and Alya actually spent studying yesterday as well as the fact Adrien actually explained the homework to him, rather than leaving Nino to look up all of the answers online. There are a few questions he stumbles on, but nowhere near as many as some of the physics tests he’s had in the past, and when he turns the paper into Mme. Mendeleiev at the front he can say he’s pretty confident with how he did.
Maybe he and Adrien can still go to the movies Saturday?
Finishing the test early means he has more time to (platonically) stare at Adrien, who looks like he’s in increasing pain with every minute that passes. He’s not writing non-stop like he usually does, and seems to just be staring at the paper blankly for a while before he takes his pencil to write something, only to erase it multiple times and write more. At one point it looks like he’s writing a whole paragraph, and Nino has no idea what question that is for. He’s using the calculator a lot too- typing in what appears to be the same equation multiple times before finally writing something down, only to type in the calculator again right after that.
All the while his legs keep twitching like they want to move but something is holding them back.
Nino can say that this is the most frantic Adrien has ever looked during an exam. The entire time he just wants to pull him aside and have him tell Nino what’s wrong. Did something happen with his father? Maybe they had a bad talk and this surprise test was the last straw? Maybe he threatened (again) to pull Adrien out of school if his grades weren’t perfecter than perfect? Maybe he finally told Adrien what happened to his mom?
The rest of the period passes with Nino watching Adrien’s movements get more and more agitated, all while his face remains almost perfectly blank. When it gets to only ten minutes left, pretty much everyone is done with the test, some of them (like Alix and Kim) chattering in the back only for Mme. Mendeleiev to shush them, which only seems to make Adrien more tense and writing more frantically.
When it looks like he’s finally done- taken far longer than any exam Nino has ever seen Adrien do in the past- he flips through the pages several times until Mme. Mendeleiev says there is only five minutes left, where he then flips through it once more and then shakily gets up to turn it in.
While he’s up with Mme. Mendeleiev, Adrien whispers to her, and Nino can make out something with the word “bathroom”, to which Mme. Mendeleiev just nods and Adrien leaves quickly, all while Mme. Mendeleiev follows him with eyes full of concern.
Important note: Mme. Mendeleiev never lets anyone leave exam periods early, even if they finished their test. She’s so paranoid about cheating that she only releases the students once all the tests are carefully locked away. So her letting Adrien leave early is a sure sign that something is wrong. Especially since Mme. Mendeleiev is one of the last teachers Nino thinks would be concerned about a student’s wellbeing.
He gets up out of his seat to ask to use the bathroom, wanting to try and catch Adrien before he disappears again, and when she actually lets him go, Nino quickly rushes out of the classroom and then bolts down the hallway, running through the locker room to get to the bathroom where Adrien hopefully is–
Turns out he doesn’t need to go to the bathroom, because Adrien is sitting on the floor crumpled against the lockers head against his knees and hands covering his ears.
(Wasn’t there a bench there before?)
“A-Adrien?” Nino says, breaking through the silence in the room that is only otherwise filled with Adrien’s heavy breathing.
He’s never seen Adrien like this before.
Adrien seems to wince at the noise, curling up even tighter into his knees.
Okay, okay, so: noise bad. Nino remembers times his little brother would have sensory overloads and hide in his room with complete darkness under the covers. Adrien is reminding Nino more and more of that with each passing moment, so he quietly walks over and sits down in front of him, careful not to touch Adrien in case it makes anything worse.
“...Dri?” He whispers, quiet enough that he hopes doesn’t hurt him but loud enough that Adrien can still hear him and know he’s there.
Adrien makes a small noise at that, and after a minute slowly looks up a bit from his knees, giving Nino a view of his face that makes Nino want to cry because of how blotchy and tear-stricken it is.
“N..No?” He breathes out, wincing at his voice as Nino responds.
“Yeah dude, I’m here. Do you want my headphones? Maybe they can help.” Because he remembers giving Chris his headphones sometimes when things were especially too loud, and times where he’d give them to Marinette after a panic attack, and to Alya during one of her migraines. Using the noise canceling quality to help block things out. Personally Nino needs a mix playing to calm down, but to each their own.
Adrien pauses for a while, seeming to weigh his options (or maybe just sparse together what Nino just said) before he gives a small nod and Nino opens his bag to take them out, handing them to Adrien who takes his hands off his ears and slowly grabs them before putting them on.
Once they seem they’re on comfortably: “That better?” He whispers.
Adrien gives a little nod at that.
“Um, okay…” what else? “Do you want me to go?”
Adrien just shrugs which, of course he does because Adrien never wants to ask for anything from people, which cements Nino’s decision he’ll stay until Adrien either kicks him out or feels better.
Still… Nino pulls out his phone to shoot a quick text to his girlfriend, knowing that she’s likely to be on her phone after having done her test.
Nino: hey als can u keep people out of the locker room for a while?
Alya <3: sure everything okay?
Nino: yeah just need privacy, love u
Alya <3: O_O without me?!?!?!
Nino: not like that! dri isn’t doing well
Alya <3: oh no :( give sunshine a hug for me. me and mari will wall off the locker room until then. let me know later
And then he puts his phone away, knowing the girls have a handle on at least making sure Adrien doesn’t get any more overwhelmed, speaking of which…
“Hey man, would a hug help?”
Adrien looks at him for a second like Nino just spoke some foreign language that he’s trying to translate, and Nino doesn’t know if that’s because he’s so out of it or because he rarely gets asked about hugs (which, ow.)
Then he gives a tight nod, and Nino just leans over to smother him in a hug because Allah knows he needs one. Adrien probably isn’t getting enough at home.
They stay like that for a while, until Nino starts to hear Adrien’s breathing calm down and he finally starts to pull away, looking at Nino in a combination of embarrassment and gratefulness.
“Better?” Nino asks in a slightly louder volume than the whispering before, and then Adrien nods again before looking down to his hands as he starts to twist his ring.
“Okay dude, you don’t have to tell me anything, but I want to help. What happened?”
Adrien continues to look at his hands, opening his mouth slowly as if to speak before closing it and shutting his eyes.
“You don’t have to tell me.” Nino said again, because while he wants to help Adrien any way he can, the last thing he wants to do is overwhelm him even more, especially now that his breathing has finally calmed down.
“I-” Adrien starts, before closing his mouth as he winces in pain. Adrien then pulls his phone from his pockets, flinching at the light, before he starts typing. Nino gets a buzzing notification several seconds later.
Dri: Talking is hard right now. I don’t know why.
Dri: Sorry.
And Nino remembers Marinette a couple years ago, before she was on anxiety medication and would have terrible panic attacks (which were horrible, especially if you consider that the Marinette of today is on anxiety medication.) Sometimes afterwards Marinette would be too tired to speak, so they would write on paper back and forth once she’d calmed down enough to hold a pencil, Nino telling stupid jokes or stories when she needed to be distracted and listening to her problems when she needed some to talk to (or write to.) He remembers that she had said one time after it all that it wasn’t that she couldn’t physically speak, but that doing so made her almost feel sick and she had to force the words out.
Nino wonders if it’s the same for Adrien.
Nino: no worries dude it happens sometimes, ur cool
Nino: do u want to tell me what’s going on?
Dri: Maybe? But talking is hard right now.
Dri: Sorry, it’s my fault.
Shit. Nino forgets how literal Adrien can be sometimes.
Nino: i meant like texting- do u want to text me about what’s going on?
He sees Adrien stare at that for a second and quickly adds:
Nino: u don’t have to! but know im here for u bro and want to help
Dri: Texting is okay. Sorry for the misunderstanding, I’m kind of stupid right now.
Really Agreste?! Self depreciation in THIS emotional support locker room?!
Nino: lmao its fine dude
Dri: Okay.
He sees Adrien pause and start biting the inside of his cheek, probably trying to figure out what to say so Nino doesn’t kill his father on sight next time he sees him. Then he turns back to the phone to type and Nino waits.
Dri: I don’t know what happened.
Huh?
Dri: Sorry.
Dri: Guess I’m kind of a moronosaurus.
Nino quickly responds at that:
Nino: no dude ur fine! wdym you don’t know though?
Dri: I mean I don’t know why I’m like this right now, nothing happened.
Nothing happened? Well to be fair there have been times where Marinette would have panic attacks without Chloé doing anything, worrying about what was to come that she would randomly break down.
Still…
Nino: nothing happened? like not with ur dad or anything?
Adrien starts to bite his cheek harder at that, and Nino worries that maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned his father, but at the same time if that is the reason his best friend is like this he wants to know.
Dri: No!
Okay, not saying he doesn’t believe the dude but…
Dri: I just…I think when I heard about the test I freaked out because I forgot and never got the chance to study.
Okay, no kid should be freaking out this much about one test.
Nino: u know ur dad is a dick right? even if u /did/ do badly on a test it shouldn’t be a big deal. he can’t expect you to be perfect.
Adrien seems to tense as he reads that so he then adds:
Nino: and u probably wont do bad anyways. ur super smart! even if you do im sure MM would be willing to give you extra credit or smth because you weirdly like the class.
Dri: It’s not my father’s fault Nino.
Dri: I’m probably being dramatic. It will probably all be fine. You’re right it’s just a test.
Nino: yeah dude and if not ill break u out of ur house and we can ride off into the sunset together
He can see Adrien start to smile and type in response:
Dri: That wouldn’t be necessary.
Nino: debatable
Dri: Well what about Alya?
Nino: idk if she would notice with the love of her life /marinette dupain cheng/ around
Nino: she always threatens to dump me for her anyways
Dri: Lol, maybe that’s because she has taste.
Nino: T A S T E?! I AM THE EPITOME OF FLAVORFUL MEALS.
And he hears Adrien quietly laugh at that and he’s proud of a job well done.
Nino: u good to go traitor?
Dri: Maybe? I think so.
Nino forces himself off the ground and gives a hand to Adrien who shakily gets up, looking much better than he did when Nino saw him leave physics class. He hands Nino back the headphones and they start to head outside to where his bodyguard will likely be waiting, since most people seem to have already left the building. Nino wishes he could just take Adrien home with him instead of leaving him to go to that cold, empty house with nobody but his dickhead father and his stoic employees.
At least the Gorilla will be there, he thinks, from what Nino has heard from Adrien and seen he seems to actually care about Adrien’s wellbeing, in what he hopes is in a “beyond-a-paycheck” way. Dude likes action figures too! Plus, that guy likely won’t force Adrien to make any conversation.
He’s correct in that the car and the Gorilla are both waiting for them outside, and Nino sees the Gorilla’s face shift from annoyance to concern at the look of Adrien accompanied by Nino.
The Gorilla opens the door for Adrien, and as he steps away from Nino he can hear a quiet “thanks Nino” before he steps into the car, and Nino just smiles back at that.
The Gorilla closes the car door once Adrien is inside and looks back to Nino with a face of concern and confusion.
“Rough day,” Nino says, looking back at where he would see Adrien if the car windows weren’t so painfully tinted, “Take care of him.” He adds, not only as a question but also a threat and command.
Maybe Nino should be worried about threatening someone named “The Gorilla” who was literally hired to be a bodyguard by an overprotective multi-millionaire father, but the Gorilla just nods in response with a look of approval in his eyes before he turns around and gets into the car, driving away.
And all Nino can think is that he really wants to talk to his mom about adopting Adrien.
Adrien really fucked up.
That’s all he can think on the drive home, as he enters the house, as he walks to his room and lies on his bed.
He fucked up.
Because he’s been fine for so many years, and then one day because of one stupid test he starts falling apart?
Fuck.
Adrien Agreste is supposed to be the perfect son. The perfect student. The perfect friend. Perfect everything.
(He doesn’t know what he is without that perfect.)
And then, because of one stupid test that he stupidly forgot about that all falls apart?!
He remembers his father once saying one bad product can ruin a brand. Taint its reputation. Causing the whole company to lose business.
Maybe that’s the problem. Adrien Agreste: Student Edition™ was defective, and is now ruining the rest of the Adrien Agreste™ models.
Because he’s supposed to be a perfect student, and perfect students don’t forget about a test and then spend time breaking down in a bathroom or locker room afterwards.
And now, because Adrien Agreste: Student Edition™ messed up, it’s ruined Adrien Agreste: Friend Edition™.
Because Adrien Agreste: Friend Edition™ is supposed to be fine and sunshiney and relaxed, not needing to be comforted on the locker room floor because everything was too much and too loud and why won’t people stop talking and moving and breathing and why is he so fucking stupid?
And yet he did, Nino followed him because he was stupid and almost broke down in a classroom full of people, which reflects badly, as his father would say, on all of Adrien. On all of Gabriel.
So Nino had to comfort him while he was crying pathetically and couldn’t speak for absolutely no good reason.
“Dramatic like your mother [...] prone to emotional outbursts unbecoming of an Agreste.”
And his father is right. He was dramatic, crying because of what? A test?!
A test he stupidly forgot about? A test he didn’t take the time to study for? He could have made time. He’s done it before.
Nino asked what happened, and Adrien had said the truth: nothing. Absolutely nothing had changed. So why on earth is he deciding now is the time to crumble? After doing this for fifteen years.
A test shouldn’t even bother Adrien Agreste! He’s so smart and confident that it’s not like he needs to study for hours on end to make sure he does well. He’d never do that. Because he’s supposed to be flawless and effortlessly perfect.
But he’s really just…
Dramatic.
Emotional.
Embarrassing.
Stupid.
He then gets up and decides that he’s fucked up what he was supposed to do as Adrien enough for one day. At least as Chat Noir he’s kind of expected to be the fuck up.
He looks at Plagg who is staring at him with concern across the room, having been a witness to every pathetic event in the life that is Adrien’s.
“Plagg, claws out.”
And then Adrien Agreste is gone. Adrien is gone. And all that remains is someone who nobody would ever expect to worry about a test. Hell, nobody would probably expect Chat Noir to do well on a test. And it kinda hurts, but it’s also freeing. The absolute lack of expectations. Like a weight lifted off of him.
He jumps out the window, feeling completely weightless as he falls and activates his baton to vault around the city. Away from the Agreste Manor. Away from Adrien Agreste.
He travels around the city for a while, jumping over rooftops and waving to people who call out to him as he passes, enjoying the freedom that comes with being Chat Noir that he absolutely loves.
Chat Noir doesn’t have tests. Chat Noir doesn’t have friends or family to disappoint. Chat Noir doesn’t have a perfect persona to maintain. All Chat Noir has is Ladybug, Paris, and the fight against Hawkmoth.
And puns. He has a lot of puns.
Some screams break him out of his thoughts. Over the years these screams have become more and more of a regular occurrence in Paris, alerting people to whatever badly-dressed ill-thought out akumatized villain Hawkmoth has come up with.
Unlike most of the Parisians though (except for other superheroes like Ladybug and crazy people like Alya) Chat Noir starts speeding towards the screams. Because being Chat Noir may not come with as many responsibilities, but defeating akumatized villains and Hawkmoth is one that he can’t afford to mess up on.
He can’t fail Ladybug, having her back is the one thing he’s supposed to do. The one thing he’s good at doing.
(But of course he manages to screw up even that.)
It’s Darkblade again, who’s already turned a few dozen people into knights by the time Chat Noir arrives on the scene. Ladybug gets there only seconds after him, and she looks at the scene for a moment before:
“Chat Noir! You’re good with sword-fighting!”
And yep, he is. Even though Ladybug doesn’t know the specifics, he's been taking fencing lessons since he was eight years old. Of all the activities his father has had him do over the years, fencing is something he genuinely enjoys doing, and since becoming Chat Noir he’s even more grateful for all his training.
He can’t say all that though so… “I like to think my skills are pretty sharp , M’Lady.”
“Okay! Try and disarm him while I hold off the knights. I’m guessing his akuma is in his sword like last time.”
“You got it M’Lady! Hopefully our skills haven’t gotten rusty since our last duel with him.”
And then they’re off, Chat Noir fighting Darkblade who, after some conversation with far too many Old French terms for his liking, was apparently reakumatized after a visit from his cousin who previously bested him in a duel by cheating. Since then his cousin has taken to rub it into his face at every opportunity. Which… okay child much? Meanwhile Ladybug makes sure none of the other knights came too close to cause any problems.
And it was going well. Soon he has Darkblade cornered and the knights are too far away to be of any assistance. It’s shaping up to be a very quick battle, maybe afterwards he and Ladybug could get ice cream! Or see a movie! Or watch the sunset! Or just hang out in any way without having to worry about detransforming. Or may they can detransform together! And then maybe they can-
And then he stupidly falls for a feint. A feint that Mr. D'Argencourt specifically taught him about years ago. A feint that he should have seen coming.
And before he knows it he’s on the ground, Darkblade shooting an energy beam at him, causing him to go to his knees to be knighted. He can feel his heart beating quickly, mad at himself for becoming vulnerable again and being controlled by another akumatized villain. Mad at himself for making Ladybug’s job even harder.
But before Darkblade can finish the transformation Ladybug swings in, grabbing him.
And for a moment he relaxes, thinking everything will be alright.
Then he sees Darkblade react to her presence, slashing his sword at her as she’s about to swing away with him.
No… surely he didn’t…
He hears Ladybug let out a pained yell, and he’s just completely frozen by Darkblade’s power. Completely useless to help the girl he loves who’s in pain because of him .
She then grabs him and carries him off to a nearby rooftop, crumbling to the ground when they land.
And he can move again.
So he moves. Rushes over to help his lady who’s laying on the roof bleeding out.
“M’Lady!” He yells, helping her sit up against the chimney on the roof.
“Kitty,” she breathes out in pain as he helps her up, “You’re okay?”
What? Yes he’s okay. He’s fine, he’s not the one who got stabbed to save his partner who made a stupid mistake.
“I’m okay?! M’Lady you just got stabbed!”
“I wouldn’t really call it a stab, more like a slash or a cut.” She forces out, which at least gives Chat Noir some relief because if she’s able to talk back to him then hopefully it isn’t too bad.
Or maybe it’s really bad and she’s using the rest of her energy to comfort her useless partner before dyin-
No. No. She’ll be fine. She has to be fine.
He looks to her side that got cut and sees that her suit is torn, blood dripping onto the rooftop as well as his arms that are holding her as well. He doesn’t know how much blood it is but it’s too much blood. Any amount of blood is too much blood for her.
Why? Why would she do that? Sure, he was about to be knighted but she’s Ladybug! She’s gone toe to toe with other villains before without him. Hell, she’s fought him mind controlled multiple times without problem!
Why would she do that? She’s the smart one. The planner. She has to know that she’s the only one who can purify akumas and reverse the damage. He’s the dumb one. He’s the fuck up. He’s the impulsive one. He’ll always jump in to save her because he can’t bear to see her hurt, and when it comes down to it she’s the one they can’t afford to lose.
The one he can’t afford to lose.
Stop! He needs to get it together. She’s hurt right now because of him and he needs to do something.
He looks at the injury again, first aid training kicking in as he tries to figure out how deep it is and whether any organs may be compromised.
It doesn’t seem life threatening as it’s missed any major organs (that he can think of, because he’s so stupid and probably forgot something, even though he passed the course with flying colors) but the continued bleeding isn’t good and maybe he can find some way to wrap the wound-
She grasps one of his hands holding her, pulling him out of his surveillance of her injury and says: “I’ll be fine Kitty, my ladybugs will fix everything. You need to stop Darkblade though.”
He just looks at her though, the ache in his chest growing because she’s in pain and it’s his fault. Because he wasn’t enough to stop Darkblade and fell for a stupid feint he had specifically been taught about.
She needs him to be Chat Noir now though.
“Don’t worry I got it M’Lady,” he really doesn’t and… “but maybe some luck for the road?”
His face moves a bit closer, stopping before it’s too close and she can still push him away without problem. He really shouldn’t be asking. He doesn’t deserve to, but she needs him to be her silly, pun-loving partner right now. He should at least be able to do one of his jobs right and distract her.
(And what if something happens and this is his last chance?)
Ladybug looks at him and rolls her eyes smiling, “Yeah maybe you’re right kitty.” Then she teasingly calls upon her Lucky Charm: a bottle of oil.
Oil? What is he supposed to do with that? Bake? Lubricate the armor to make it less squeaky? Or…
“The floor?” He asks, looking to Ladybug for confirmation or any other ideas, because surely it’s not that easy?
“The floor.” She nods, and puts it into his hands, because right now he’s the only one who can defeat Darkblade. He’s the only one who can fix everything after screwing up.
He scans the streets for Darkblade, who’s started to move with his army north towards a residential area, likely where Mr. D'Argencourt’s cousin is.
He looks back at her one last time, squeezing her arm and willing with all his might that everything will work out. That he’ll somehow win without Ladybug (no, she’s right there, she’s fine) and this will all just be a bad memory, a bad dream.
“I’ll be right back M’Lady.”
And he takes off, cat ears picking up a quiet “I know Chaton,” from the rooftop he just left.
He does manage to defeat Darkblade, just like his lady said. He slicks the floor around Darkblade in oil as they fight, and that’s enough to get him off balance so Chat Noir can take the sword. The second it’s in his grasp he’s rushing back towards the rooftop he left Ladybug at so she can purify the akuma and fix everything. The whole time hoping that she’s okay and there and alive and will be able to fix everything.
She is. She’s waiting in the exact same spot as he left her, breathing a bit heavily but otherwise no worse than when he last saw her.
He Cataclysms the sword and Ladybug is able to purify the akuma and use Miraculous Ladybug to reverse everything. Including the injury she got because of his idiocy.
Once she gets up off the ground he forgoes the pound it and just rushes to hug her. “I’m sorry,” he chokes out. Because now the danger is gone and she’s okay and his job is done so he can let her know how fucking sorry he is.
Ladybug just pushes away and looks at him in confusion.
Of course. Of course “sorry” isn’t enough. He messed up. She trusted him to do one of the few things he’s actually good at and he failed so she had to rescue him. Again.
“For what Chaton?”
Huh? For what? Is that a joke? Did Miraculous Ladybug somehow not replenish the blood lost? It doesn’t work all the way sometimes when he’s injured because of the cat miraculous, is it the same or worse with holding the ladybug miraculous? Does her brain not have enough blood? Was her brain deprived of it for too long and now she has brain damage?
“Y-you got hurt, because of me.” This hurts so much to say but he has to, he has to tell her what happened because if she somehow forgot then she needs to know how incompetent he it: “I messed up, I fell for that feint and-”
“Kitty, you got him in the end, right?” She calmly says, cupping his face with her hands.
Yeah but-
“Yeah but you got hurt stopping him from knighting me. Why would you do that? I’m supposed to be the one protecting you.”
Now she looks annoyed at him, which is a bit of a relief but also he needs her to know how bad this could have been. How bad it was .
“You don’t need to always protect me Chat Noir, I can handle myself.”
What? No, that’s not what he’s trying to say! He knows she’s capable. Far more than he is.
“I know Ladybug, but-”
“I don’t need your help. I don’t need you to save me.” She continues and oh…
Oh.
Okay.
“I know Ladybug,” he forces out again, “but-” but he loves her “-you’re the one who can purify akuma and reverse the damage-” and he can’t do this without her “-so what would happen if you were gone-” but she can do this without him “-what would happen to Paris?”
He wants to say more but he knows she doesn’t want to hear it. She loves someone else, and she doesn’t need to hear how he doesn’t know how he’d do this without her. How saving her is worth whatever happens to him. She’d want him to be smart. To think about the mission (even if the mission is usually the last thing on his mind when she’s in danger.)
She seems to relax a bit at that, “I know Kitty, but with Darkblade you’re the one out of the two of us who can fight-”
Yeah and look how good that went. He screwed up with one of the only things he can contribute, something he’s practiced for almost seven years and still wasn’t enough. And she literally just said she doesn’t need him, and isn’t the only role he has to support her? Why on earth would he be the one to save?
He knows she’s still talking, and he wants to feel bad about not listening but words aren’t making sense. Everything around him is buzzing and he doesn’t know how much more he can bear hearing how useless he is. How pathetic he is that she had to save him again.
He finally is able to make sense of the words she’s saying again “-you have to know now how much it hurts when you throw yourself in to save me.”
He’s been hurting her?
They both turn their attention to her earrings that are blinking a one-minute warning now.
“I need to get home before I detransform, but I’ll see you later okay?” She says, much softer now and looking at him for confirmation that he’s heard her.
She needs to go. She probably needs to rest off the remains of the injury. She doesn’t have any reason to stay.
So he just smiles and says “Okay.”
Then she swings away, leaving Chat Noir to replay all the ways he messed up today on the way to his home.
She got hurt today. He’s been hurting her. Because he’s been trying to protect her even though she’s said before that she doesn’t need it. Doesn’t need him.
Is this the misogynistic thing Alya was talking about? He thinks as he enters his bedroom via window and detransforms, collapsing into his bed. Is part of him assuming that because Ladybug is a girl she needs his protection? And continuing to act like somehow he knows better despite her literally saying so just because he’s a man?
He wants to say that it’s not the case. That he’s not doing this simply because she’s a girl. (But what if he’s wrong?) He knows how capable she is, far more capable than him.
And that’s why he saves her, because in the end out of the two of them she’s the one people can’t afford to lose. Paris needs her. The loving family she sometimes talks about needs her. Her friends need her.
Do people really need him? What about Adrien couldn’t simply be replaced by any other person filling in the same role? Putting on the same mask.
Is there really anything beneath the mask that they need?
He ignores whatever Plagg is saying and gets up to do homework. Because as of now he’s the one with all these roles, and he’s failing miserably.
And failures don’t deserve to rest.
He checks online and in his notes multiple times to make sure he didn’t somehow screw up again and forget another test or assignment. Once that’s done he starts to read ahead for physics to prepare in case he did poorly on the test today.
He skips dinner, because failures don’t deserve to eat.
Once he’s done with his homework he runs through songs on his piano, going through one until he can do it perfectly. Then he has to do it perfectly again to make sure it’s not a fluke, and if it is a fluke then he’ll keep going until he does get it perfect twice in a row. Once he does he moves on to the next song, and keeps going until Nathalie knocks on the door and tells him to go to bed.
Because somehow it’s now almost midnight.
When did that happen?
He goes to his bed, but instead of sleeping just pulls out his phone and starts watching different fencing matches he finds on YouTube, trying to label and anticipate as many moves as he can. When he doesn’t know one he rewatches it until he does. Maybe he can talk to Kagami and see if there’s a way they could practice more? She trains with her mother outside of class right?
He doesn’t sleep, because failures don’t deserve to sleep.
Plagg looks concerned the entire night, probably because of what a failure his holder is, but no amount of pushing can get Adrien to forgo his efforts to improve. He messed up today, and he needs to do better.
And he will. He has to.
It’s all he can do.