Chapter Text
"It is a rather quiet morning" Arceus thinks to herself as she slowly floats to the kitchen to get her daily fix of coffee
".....Of course"
She immediately sighs as she sees the entire kitchen floor flooded with coffee.
"Why did I ever get my hopes up"
Upon closer inspection, she notices it boiling and seemingly watered down, an obvious trail of Groudon and Kyogre fighting again.
"I'm gonna have Ray kill those two someday, I swear to me"
"What a waste of perfectly good coffee"
She says, proceeding to check if anyone is nearby before hesitantly lowering her head and drinking the floor coffee.
"uhh, what are you doing?"
Arceus looks up to see Giratina's head popping out of a freshly opened portal and after a short moment of silence responds
"Being resourceful"
"All of the sudden I'm anti recycling"
"Just please don't tell anyone"
"I won't, I've done weirder shit"
"....Do I dare ask?"
"Not unless you want everyone to know you as Floor Licker"
"Noted"
"..."
"..."
"So do you always drink it from the floor?"
"No"
"Okay, just, yk, checking"
After a few more moments of awkward silence, Arceus decides to brew her coffee as Giratina sweeps the Kitchen clean. Of course not without secretly tasting some of the floor coffee himself.
Once finished, she and Giratina enjoy some coffee together, from mugs this time.
"So how did it taste?"
"Awfully bland"
"Wouldn't it be salty? Since, I'm assuming Kyogre uses saltwater" He pretends to not know
"She does use saltwater, but it probably got purified from Groudon's heat"
"Guess that makes sense... Say, why did you make those two hate each other so much?"
"I don't make any of your personalities, they just ended up like that"
"Huh, wonder why"
As if on cue, Rayquaza flies in
"I know the answer to that"
"you do?" ask Pokémon God and Satan
Pouring himself a Cup of Joe he answered
"So basically, Groudon was watching the Egyptian built all of their stuff in awe and Kyogre kept trying to flood 'em, mainly ´cause Groudon caused an earthquake in Atlantis on accident and ever since then they've been fighting nonstop"
Astounded, the Deer stuck in a fence asked
"Haven't millenia passed since then?"
"Yup"
Giratina chimed in
"So isn't completely childish then?"
"Yup"
"And they fight multiple times a week?"
"Only including the little fights, yup"
"But you're also in charge of Extraterrestrial protection?
"Yup"
"I think that's enough Giratina"
"When's the last time you slept?"
Taking a sip of coffee he responds "When the Paldeans slaughtered the Aztec"
"Who assigned you all of this stuff?!"
Currently, Arceus is slightly distanced from the Conversation and also visually sweating
The two serpentine dragons glance at her
"Sorry, didn't mean to shout"
"It's quite alright"
"And I'm sorry if it sounded like I was complaining"
"It's fine Ray, I should apologize for giving you so many duties"
"Does this mean I'm getting a vacation?"
"Unfortunately we know what Groudon and Kyogre are like so I can't do that. What I can do is have others take over your extraterrestrial work"
"Oh thank-well... You, it's kinda weird to use that phrase when you're in the room"
Later that day, they decide that the Lati-Twins would be in charge of extraterrestrial protection.