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The sun had already been up for an hour and his partners still weren't out of bed.
“Come on, Troll-breath.” Hans muttered as he lifted the covers away from the blonde man. Kristoff whimpered cutely and curled further into a ball, reaching unsuccessfully for the blankets to be returned. Hans lightly smacked the other's rosey cheeks. “We have a lot to do before the festival.”
“nooooo” Kristoff groaned and rolled away from his slaps, right into Anna's side. Anna, their beautiful queen, continued to snore and drool, completely unbothered by the giant now firmly wrapped around her.
Hans sighed. Looked like he would have to resort to some unfair tactics. With a more firm grip, he rolled the big man onto his back and got between him and their wife. Just as Kristoff was about to drift off again, he heard the small gasp and shuddered breath from the other side of the bed. He couldn't help his curiosity and blearily peeked over to see.
Hans was on top of her, fondling and groping and delicately kissing every inch of her exposed skin. She writhed with it, slowly waking as well, and giggled at his gobsmacked expression. “Quite a way to wake up.” She said over Hans’ shoulder to her other partner.
“No fair. I want in.” He grumbled. His large hands had no trouble lifting the smaller man up and over to give him a kiss and flick at his nipples in agitation. “You're being very evil this morning.”
Hans yelped at the punishing attention to his chest. “You refused to get up.” He said by way of explanation, wiggling to remove himself from the firm grip. Kristoff released him, only so he could roll over and trap both of them in his arms.
Anna laughed out loud and freed one of her arms to stroke his cheek. She turned to her other husband and asked innocently “Hans, dear. Do we have a few minutes before we must get out of bed?”
Hans gave a very unconvincing sigh and replied “I suppose we have a few minu-!” He is cut short by two sets of hands pulling him close and removing his night clothes. At least everyone was awake now!
—------------
They still manage to be late, despite Hans’ attempts to get them out the door, but they are presentable and clear minded for the tasks ahead. Anna had been overseeing the decorations, Hans would double check the guest lists and accommodations, and Kristoff would be coordinating the staff and supplies. The festival didn't start until midday, and most everything had been checked over the week before, but today was when everything was set in motion. Not to mention, the other royals of the region would be getting here. Hans was most nervous about this.
“You know it will be amazing.” Anna had chided days earlier.
But he didn't know. He had to make sure. All twelve of his brothers, their wives, and his mother and father, were going to be here. It was a… strange arrangement… that Hans had found himself involved in. True, he had settled in Arendelle nicely, had a crown to call his own, and found love beyond any he could have dreamed of, but it wasn't proper. Only two of his brothers had even shown up for the wedding, and none had spoken to him since. Not even mother.
Hans hated the feeling of shame that washed over him when he thought of what they would say. Would they look down on Kristoff for being of common blood? Would they officially disown him for having two spouses? Not to mention the fact that one was a man! Would they be charmed by Anna? Would they see that he is happy here?
“There you are.” Hans startled and saw the two very people his mind was circling around approaching down the hallway. Hans dismissed the servants, thanking them for their attention to detail, and smoothed his lapels in a nervous gesture.
His husband tsked under his breath and took his hands in his own to steady them. “Everything is ready, Mr.Busy-pants.”
Hans tried to take a steadying breath, but it came out shaky and loud and not at all reassuring. Anna, in one of her emotionally mature moments, took his face in her hands and gave him a warm smile. “It's going to be wonderful, Hans. The Spring Festival is always the easiest and most fun. Your family is going to love it.”
“I just…” He clamped down, unable to finish his sentence. He felt like he was marching to his execution with no way to stop it. How could he explain that his family was impossible to please? That he had almost allowed himself to do horrible things in an effort to make them happy in the past? He wanted to sink back into bed, suddenly feeling very silly for having wanted to leave the safety of their room in the first place.
Kristoff lightly kissed his forehead and kept his nose buried in his hair, just leaning in his space and allowing the proximity to act as an anchor. “I don't care what happens. You know we love you, right?”
Hans nodded.
“And you know that we will do everything in our power to make this work, right?” Anna added while using her thumb to brush his cheek.
Hans sighed again. “I… I've told you what they're like.”
“And we will be on our best behavior.” Kristoff said with a smirk. “I'm already wearing a suit and everything. And I took a bath. No more reindeer smell.”
Hans let out a startled laugh at this. He reached up to clutch both of their hands. “You two are more than I deserve.”
Kristoff and Anna, as if being of one mind, swooped in to kiss his cheeks from either side. They allowed themselves to soak in each other's comfort before pulling apart. They could do this.
—‐—‐—-
Elsa arrived a bit early, riding her watery steed and helping Honeymaren down before sweeping her sister into a hug. Honey rolled her eyes as the two began chatting animatedly about anything and everything, then walked over to the two kings and gave them a bow. “My lieges.”
“Welcome, Lady Honeymaren.” Hans said diplomatically with his own bow. While she may not technically be royalty, she was the significant other to an elemental goddess, so that had to count for something, right?
Kristoff, on the other hand, lifted her off her feet in a bear hug. “It's good to see you again! How is everything? Did you all get the rock spirit territory figured out?”
Honey laughed and straightened out her dyed leather dress once she was back on solid ground. “Yes, though it wasn't easy. They're not known for being very, uh… talkative. Communication with them can be a bit of a hassle.”
The two continued talking about things that, frankly, Hans wasn't well versed in. With Kristoff and Honeymaren both being raised in the forests, with all of the chores and responsibilities that that requires, they were able to discuss trade needs and day to day things that Hans had no experience with. He was thankful that they got along so well, but he felt a bit out of the loop when they started talking about the upcoming wet season for firewood and house building.
Thankfully, as more guests came filtering into the city, Hans was able to keep himself occupied with greeting and directing. The servants had a handle on the baggage, caring for the horses and carriages, and escorting them to their rooms, while Hans was able to focus purely on making sure they felt welcomed. He told them of the upcoming festivities, and bid them to rest before the dinner feast.
The sun was starting to set, and Hans was almost relieved. His family still hadn't arrived and may never actually come. He had worried for nothing. Just as he was starting to unwind his tense muscles, a ship appeared on the horizon, boasting white flags with golden and blue crests. The symbol of the Southern Isles.
“Your family.” Anna said quietly and returned to his side. Kristoff took to his other shoulder and bumped him with a smirk. Hans tried to smile in return, but didn't think it reached his face.
After a few minutes of waiting, the ship made it to the harbor, docked, and lowered the gangplank. It was hard to tell who was who from such a distance, and Anna and Kristoff hadn't met a majority of his family, but it seemed from the number of redheads that his entire family tree had come.
His partners continued to peek a look at him when they thought he couldn't see, but Hans was hyper aware of everything. He could see the overly big smiles, the glances Anna and Kristoff shared with each other. He knew he must look nervous as could be.
“There he is.” a woman with streaks of blonde in her dark orange hair came forward and kissed each of Hans’ cheeks. She was older, distinguished, and had a small golden circlet adorned in her braids.
“Hello, Mother.” Hans said. His voice was strained with nerves, but obviously held a lot of affection. “It's good to see you.”
“Baby brother!” one of the multitudes of men called loudly, followed by a few others of the biggest of the princes. They sneered and whispered among themselves as they came forward, making it pretty obvious to Anna and Kristoff what their husband had been so nervous about.
Hans immediately became tense. He looked much like a rabbit caught in a trap, but he had practice with putting on a good face. He smoothed his features deliberately before reaching his hand out to greet them. “Prince Ulmir, Prince Einar, Prince Oskar, Prince Rolf.”
“Is that all you have to say to us, little Hans?” One of the brothers, with hair more brown than orange, chuckled and reached up to flick at his brother's nose. Hans yelped in surprise and covered his face and took a step back.
Anna quickly moved between them with a bright smile. “Ah, Hello! You are Prince Oskar? It's nice to finally meet you. Welcome to our kingdom.”
Oskar smirked at her. “You're Princess Almeta? And the goat herder Kettil?” the other princes laughed.
Kristoff took a menacing step forward, noting with satisfaction that, much like his lover, he was a full head taller than all of them. “This is Queen Anna, daughter of Queen Iduna and King Agnaar, and sister of the Holder of Spiritual Balance, Queen Elsa.”
The men seem momentarily quelled by his presence, though they don't look as though it will hold for long. Another man, older than the rest and with a crown sitting high upon his silvery hair, parted the princes and reached a placating hand out to the man. “Pardon my sons. They are energetic and have been excited to meet you all.”
Kristoff took the king's hand and dipped his head in a bow that Hans had forced him to practice over and over. “King Gunnar. Welcome to Arendelle. I am King Consort Kristoff of The Valley of The Living Rock.”
King Gunnar hummed low in his throat and turned to gesture at his gathered family. “King Kristoff, we would be grateful to see to our rooms. We have been traveling for quite a while.”
Hans jumped to attention at this. “Yes, of course! Hallie, Garth, please escort my family to their rooms. Jensen, Bjorn, please show their staff where to take their items.”
One of the wives of his brothers turned to another wife and rolled her eyes, muttering something under her breath as they passed by. “-rather close to the staff to know all their names. I bet he sleeps with anyone who will have him in their bed.”
Hans could feel his face flare red at this, but saw that no one else seemed to have heard. He shook it off and continued with his greetings as each of the members passed by. He introduced each of the princes and their wives to his partners, but each of them moved past before he could introduce Anna and Kristoff to them in return.
After a small eternity, the group is gone and being led up the hill to the palace. Hans lets out a breath and has to sit for a moment once they are out of sight.
“You grew up with those… those..” Kristoff clenched and unclenched his fists. “They're awful!”
Hans chuckled and tugged at his husband's sleeve. “I'm aware.”
“How do they have such good trade with the other nations if they treat people like this?” Anna wondered out loud.
“That's why there are so many of us.” Hans said in reply. “We are sent out to marry our way across the lands and create treaties.” He bowed his head and added quietly “That's why I was sent to meet you.”
Anna sat next to him and gripped his shoulder tightly. “Yeah, well, I can see why you would want to get away from them.”
“We should head inside.” Kristoff said quietly as he helped them stand. He hated to see either of them like this, but he understood the sentiment. He wasn't looking forward to dealing with his in-laws any more than they were.
—------‐-
Anna was quite proud of the arrangements for the Feast. It wasn't as big as the fall festivities, but the spring was her favorite to plan. She, along with a team of palace staff, had helped create a banquet of beautiful colors. Every table, sconce, and doorway was decorated with every color in the kingdom. Flowers, ribbons, and treated glass in beautiful arrangements. Hans, as the more conscious husband of such things, told her how wonderfully it had turned out. Anna smiled brightly at the compliment, knowing that he is the fashionable, modern royal among them.
Kristoff was busy talking to the musicians in the corner of the dining hall. He often loved to play with them in his free time and was only stopped from doing so today by the protocol of visiting royals. Otherwise, Hans would have loved to hear him play. One of his favorite things was when he would pluck out a sappy love song by the fireplace.
His thoughts were disrupted by the noise of running feet, followed by a multitude of children entering the room. Hans flushed in surprise and held out a hand to stop the tots from getting to the food. “What do you suppose you're doing, Fran?”
The little girl, the leader of the pack of servant's children, beamed up at him, showing off her missing tooth. “Mama said she would be in here. We were just lookin for her.”
Hans gave her a knowing frown, raising a brow and pursing his lips. “You know you aren't allowed to run indoors. What would your mother say if she could see you?”
“Thaaaaat we can have a krumkake?” She and the others giggled.
Anna gave a laugh of her own and placed a gentle hand on Hans’ shoulder. “What do you say first?”
The group of hooligans smushed together and brought their pudgy hands together under their chins. “Pleeeeaaase?” They sang together.
Hans gave an exasperated look to his wife, then to the children. “You may have one, but-” he didn't finish before the plate was nearly emptied of the rolled sweets and the little ones were galloping happily out of the room. When he saw Anna's sheepish smile, though, he couldn't stay mad.
Many of the royals began filtering in at their own pace soon after, and the band played their repertoire of dancing songs. Kristoff meandered his way over to them. “Care for a dance?” He asked the queen. Anna accepted his offered hand and allowed herself to be led out to the open dance floor.
Hans watched and sipped his mulled wine, feeling very at ease. The atmosphere was warm and joyous, the guests were beginning to join the dance, and he had just started talking to a dignitary and his councilman about a hunt tomorrow morning when he felt a large hand slap his back. Thankfully, he had a good grip on his glass, otherwise the man across from him would be drenched.
“Little Brother!” Oskar said a bit too loud and a bit too close to his ear. “What is this I hear of a hunt?”
Dignitary Frode looked quite taken aback at the entrance. “Hello, uh, I'm afraid I don't know your name?”
“Prince Oskar. Soon to be king of Agder.” He beat a fist against his chest. “And the greatest hunter in the lands.”
They waited for the prince to ask for Frode's name and title, but when it seemed he was done speaking, Hans sent an apologetic look to the man and said “ would you excuse us for a moment?” then pulled his brother aside. Now that he was turned to the rest of the room, he could see that his family had all come down together, eating their fill and chatting loudly. He got his brother a few feet away from the rest of the guests and whirled on him. “What do you think you're doing?”
Oskar folded his arms and gave him a condescending smirk. “What, did I interrupt you flirting with him?”
He wasn't sure how he kept from falling, but it felt as if the floor had suddenly shifted to the left. “wh-what?” his head felt hot. His mouth was dry.
Oskar bent down closer to him, only speaking in a rumbling whisper as he said “Come on, brother. You expect us to believe you have made so many allies from your personality? What's one more partner to someone like you?”
Before he knew it, his hands were clenched into fists. Thankfully, he had enough presence of mind to keep from striking him on his smarmy face. “Someone like me, huh? You want to deride me for having two spouses in lawful marriage when everyone in the kingdom knows you've always slept around with any maid that looked your way?”
Oskar didn't even blink at the accusation, just chuckled and reached up to pat the shorter man on the head, much like a dog. “That's just having some fun.” with one last dig before he turned to walk away, he said “at least it was never a manservant.”
Hans felt his fury in every fiber of his being. He wanted to smash something desperately. But this was a lesson he had learned long ago- stuff it down inside and carry on. There was no use in fighting. There were too many of them, they were much bigger, and he was just the youngest brother.
He allowed himself a moment to cool down before reentering the festivities with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.
—-----------
The next morning, Anna awoke to the door to their bedroom being slammed shut and angry footsteps making their way to the dresser. She sat up, barely able to see past the curtain of hair, to find Hans huffing and angry as he pulled off his muddy riding boots.
“G'morning. Did you catch anything?” She asked. Kristoff made a grumble beside her at the commotion.
“No!” Hans flung the second boot across the room and began unbuttoning his hunting jacket. It too had mud all over it. In fact, now that Anna was more awake, she could see that he was more mud than man.
“Did you… swim in the mud?”
Hans stopped to look at her in bewilderment, almost insulted at the notion that he would willingly allow himself to go around the castle like this, and went back to peeling off all of his dirtied clothing.
He stomped to the bathing chambers and closed the door.
“He alright?” Kristoff croaked from under the blankets.
Anna huffed. “I'd say probably not.”
The two quietly left the bed and went to follow him. Hans had already gotten into the tub, filled by a team of quick servants as soon as he had arrived, and was violently scrubbing his hair. Anna and Kristoff shared a look of concern.
“hey” Kristoff came to sit beside the tub and gently took his hands into his own. Hans startled, but didn't pull away. “What happened?”
“My brothers.” Hans snarled. If it were under different circumstances, seeing him so angry while covered in suds and sitting hunched in a little tub would have made Kristoff smile. But he knew how much potential those two words had for danger.
“Did they all go on the hunting trip?” Anna asked as she took a seat at his other side.
Hans nodded miserably. “All of them. I didn't get to talk to any of the dignitaries, no one caught anything, and Rolf shoved me down a hill into a mud pit!”
“We need to have a talk with them.” Kristoff said decisively.
“It won't do any good.” The other man said miserably.
Anna, with as much gentleness as she could, began raking her fingers through his wet hair and parting it down the middle the way he liked. “If they won't change their attitudes, then we will make them leave. We have other guests to think of.”
“They can't treat you like that.” Kristoff reminded with a heartfelt frown. “You're not their little brother anymore. You're a king of your own kingdom.”
When no remark came, he knew Hans must be feeling miserable. He usually got quiet and contemplative when he felt there was a great wrong that he personally needed to fix.
The three stayed silent for the rest of the bath. Anna and Kristoff hoped that their beloved could feel the support he had, purely through their touch.
—----------
Breakfast was much more relaxed than last night's dinner had been, since the princes were all sleeping in. Torturing their youngest brother must be tiring work.
The guests seemed to be much more relaxed, drinking tea and eating the flaky breads and fresh jams as they lightly discussed their kingdom's plans for the spring. Hans and Anna were more than happy to listen. That is, after all, why everyone was invited to the spring festival in the first place. Kristoff found eating to be a better use of his time.
Breakfast was about to wrap up when a hoard of young boys, most of whom had orange hair and mischievous green eyes, came bursting into the room. A few harried servants attempted to corral them with no success, a servant from one of the visiting kingdoms yelped as he was knocked against the wall and dropped a plate, and a woman down the table gave an exclamation when a glob of brambleberry jelly was flung onto her dress, courtesy of one of the children waving a knife in the air.
Many people began leaving the table while muttering unkind things loud enough for the royal trio to hear. Anna looked over to her sister, who was glaring at one of the older boys who was threatening to spit on all the food.
“Enough!” Kristoff thumped the table with his fist, causing all of the dishes and silverware to jostle. The room froze and looked up at where he now stood. “Where are your parents?”
“Sleeping.” One of them chirped.
“They told us to come down here.” another added.
Kristoffs glower became positively stormy. “Go tell them that they need to come here.” He bellowed.
Hans gripped his hand tightly as the little ones darted off towards the stairs. The few remaining staff and guests looked back at him with relief. It wasn't until he looked down at his husband that he realized something might be wrong. The poor man looked like he was staring at a ghost, pale and shaking and unblinking.
“Hey, it's alright.” Anna scooted closer and wrapped her small hands around his shoulders. “We're going to get this settled, once and for all. They can't treat you or anyone else like that.”
“They won't listen!” Hans shouted, then covered his mouth as if that would stop the words from entering the air. Elsa shared a look with her sister and moved to join them. Kristoff moved aside to allow his sister in law to crouch next to Hans.
She remained silent until he managed to look her in the eye. Elsa was always graceful and deliberate- it was one of the most ethereal things about her, aside from the powers. She always looked so comfortable in her own skin.
“Do you know what I used to tell myself?” She asked quietly. Hans just stared. “I always said ‘conceal, don't feel’ because I thought the answer was to hide myself. To stuff it all down and hope it went away.” She gave a self depreciating smirk. “It obviously didn't work for me. And… I have a feeling it's what you are trying to do with your family.”
“I don't have magic ice powers to smite people who offend me.” Hans shook his head. “Getting away from the palace was the only thing that ever worked. I can't… I thought I could handle them being here, but-”
“you know you're not alone. Right?” Anna asked sadly. When he looked over his shoulder to her, he found that she had tears building up. He hated seeing her like this. He would do anything to keep her from crying.
Hans quickly took her hands in his and felt his own face crumbling. “of course! Of course I know! I love you so much. But they're different than you all.”
“Then sit back and let us handle it.” Kristoff declared. With his back straight and a determined tilt of his chin, he looked every ounce the Forest King that the people claimed him to be. Hans was a bit flustered at the sight.
“WHAT is the meaning of this?!” They all whipped around to look at the open doors where a small army of royals was marching towards them. At the head was the king; Hans’ father. His hair was gray and thin, but the rest of him was alight with fury.
Before Hans could stand, Elsa stood in front of him and blocked the incoming crowd from glaring at him. “King Gunnar. Your family has overstepped and risked the safety of Arendele.”
“We have done nothing to risk anyone!” one of the princes declared hotly.
“This festival was supposed to be about celebrating the beginning of the planting season.” Anna stood as well and faced off against the king. “All the visiting royals came to discuss trade and good tidings. Do you think any of them want anything to do with us if your family is destroying everything?”
“Your trade is not our concern.” King Gunnar sniffed haughtily and motioned to the only one seated at the table. “You think that because you married my whelp you can speak to me how you like?”
Elsa cut in and took another step forward. “She can speak to you as she likes because this is her kingdom.” Everyone noticed frost climbing up the windows. “You will leave Arendele within the hour, or you will be sent back to your home with a few reminders on why you don't mess with us.”
“threats” The king barked a single laugh and looked at his family around him. “and I thought you were talking of making connections. Aren't you lot all about love and friendship ?”
“The safety of our people comes first.” Anna said as she clenched her fists. “A fellow royal should understand that more than anyone. I guess the standards of some kingdoms are lower than others.”
Hans could feel the ice behind his father's glare, even if it wasn't targeted at him. “You should learn to hold your tongue.” That frosty stare flicked momentarily to Hans in disgust. “Learn from my boy. He's managed to do what needs done.”
Before the others could react, Hans had unconsciously risen to his feet. Though he shook like a leaf, his voice managed to come out strong. “I didn't marry Anna because you said it needed to be done!” He took hold of the woman's hand and held his other out for Kristoff. It was in his own in a flash. “I married her AND Kristoff because they are good people. Because they see value in people, more than just making political connections.”
“Your ‘marriage’ is a disgrace, Hans.” his father said as if it were just facts. “And yet it's the best thing you've ever managed to do.”
“It is.” He agreed readily. His family, at the other end of the table, startled. “I'll never be able to match how amazing these two are. I'm lucky to have them.” He gripped their palms until it had to hurt. “You would be lucky to be allies with them. Why are you throwing that away?”
“Hans” his mother said in a docile tone, as if speaking to a child. “the only one causing strife here is you and your companions. Why don't we all sit down and talk?”
“You are down to forty five minutes.” Elsa said sternly. “Choose what you wish to say wisely.”
Many in the group balked in indignation, but didn't do much else. King Gunnar sighed. “Fine then. We will go. You are making a mistake, son. You need your family.”
Hans’ throat had tightened up after his declarations, so he didn't answer. The silence spoke for itself.
The group were reluctant to retreat, but did so without too much grumbling. It took them the better half of two hours to actually get everything packed and on their ship, but Elsa only gave a few threatening frosty winds for the delay. The wives blanched at the magical display and hurried their husbands and children along.
Once their ship was gone from the horizon, Hans fell into Kristoff's side dramatically. The taller man wrapped a thick arm around his shoulders to keep him in place. “You did great, pipsqueak.”
Hans would have given him grief about the stupid nickname, but he was far too exhausted for that. “I'm so sorry. I… They're just…”
“Awful!” Anna blurted and balled her hands into fists. She held them up in front of her as if she were about to engage against an opponent. “I wanted to punch those grins off their stupid faces! Ugh!” She, too, dramatically fell against Kristoff’s other shoulder. “how did you put up with that your whole life?!”
“by keeping my head down.” He looked over at his sisters-in-law. “thank you both for being there. And… helping me to be better.”
Elsa and Honeymaren gave him warm, affectionate smiles, then came to join the impromptu group hug. Hans squirmed as if uncomfortable, but couldn't keep the fraction of a smile from reaching his lips.
“I think we should have an afternoon nap, then enjoy the test of the festival.” Honey asserted. The group agreed with varying levels of enthusiasm and clambered back into the palace to find their beds.
—-------
The rest of the day went spectacularly. The guests were all back to being open and joyous, the conversations were no longer forced and overrun by loud mouth redheads, and Hans felt like everything was as it should be. His legs no longer felt like jelly. He didn't fear rounding a corner and bumping into a relative. This was where he belonged.
And when he looked around and caught the eyes of his lovers, he felt a warm bundle threaten to burst out of his chest. He was so very lucky to have found his place, right beside the people he loved most.