Archive of Our Own

The darkness was biting. Suffocating every sense that he had. Bringing a pain that made his blood freeze, yet numbed him all at the same time. 

He could not breathe. He could not move. But every part of him screamed.

Danger. There was danger. He was not safe. 

Thunder boomed, shook the world around him, and suddenly all he saw was flashes of pain, lightning cracking every time his body hit the ground like an echo. Something snapped, he saw red, and could hardly feel anything as he attacked, grabbed, bit. Every piece of himself disappearing into the watery depths below. 

And then he had turned around when the non-existent hairs at the back of his neck turned up, every sense filling with dread and fear as he watched a shadow appear behind him with a crack of lightning.

Metal blades flashed and all he had time for was a scream before the world went black again.

"NO!!"  

Panic, panic panic panic. You're still not safe, run. Was what his brain screamed at him, alarms and red flags blaring in his mind as he panted, the world still non-existent for him.

Leo felt himself shaking as he breathed, sweat heading down his arms, eyes entirely unfocused, vision blurred. He wasn't sure where he was, or how he had gotten there, but his senses registered he was on something solid and soft and he grasped onto it, his trembling hands clutching underneath him in an attempt to ground himself. Bring him back into reality. His large third fingers rubbed the fabric until his brain registered it being a blanket–correction, his blanket. The one that he had on his bed in the lair, in his home.

That's right. He was home . He was safe.

With that realization came the rest of his common sense. The mutant turtle took slow, careful breaths, slowing down his heart rate and the spinning of his mind easing instantly, fear and anxiety dissipating with it. He finally was able to register that he had been in his bedroom, that it had all been just a dream, and the realization came with immediate annoyance. Leo growled lowly, dumping his head into a still slightly shaking hand. The panic had all but disappeared, but the exhaustion was still as bone-deep as ever, and his knee felt like it had been on fire again. As if he had been sleeping on it wrong. 

"A nightmare…" The leader in blue hissed to himself through gritted teeth, voice raw; he hated how it sounded. "Just another stupid nightmare…" 

It wasn't like he wasn't used to them by now–ever since he'd taken up the role as leader, at least a quarter of his nights had him waking up just like this, but not with as much fear. Not with as much pain.

Not like this. Those nightmares were figments of his imagination, his mind playing tricks on him. 

But these.. These were worse, because they were real. They were memories. 

He had to wake up to pain almost every morning now. It felt as if he wasn't getting sleep at all. And he was tired.

A buzz brought Leo out of his thoughts then, making the mutant look up with lidded eyes at the T-phone laying face down on the dresser next to him. He reached for the device and found at least three different messages, frowning at the time. 

8:30am Mikey :

    yo dude where ya at, early bird catches the worm!! 😜

9:00am Mikey:

    bro. youre freakin us out, im never the first one up. cmon already!!! ):<

9:13 Mikey: 

   raph says if you dont come out hes knockin down your door. splinters waitin. gET. UP.

Leo didn't have the heart to even groan in annoyance. He must have slept through his 7 o' clock alarm. Again . His eyes slid up to where his katanas were held at the wall above his dresser, blue mask right next to it. He couldn't even find the energy to make himself get out of bed.

But if he didn't, they would come after him. And he really didn't have the energy to deal with personal questions at the moment. So with much more effort than necessary, Leo slipped off his bed, took up his mask, and began to get ready for the day.

He'd fight off the unusual sluggishness just as he always did. For the sake of his family. There were more important things to worry about than some measly nightmares.

He was going to be fine.

Two weeks had passed since the Kraang had–once again–attempted to invade New York, only to be once again stopped by the turtles. In those two weeks, they had returned home, and worked hard in cleaning their previously destroyed lair as quickly and efficiently as possible. Things had been mostly quiet after the Kraang and Shredder had disappeared, so they took the time to settle back in, making sure that their Master was secure. There was still work to be done, but the worst of it had been dealt with, and today was meant to be the first official training session in the dojo, being as it was one of the first things the Hamato Clan fixed. 

Except, one member had been missing all morning, and surprising of all, it had been Leo.

His brothers and father had been waiting in the kitchen, Mikey humming a fun tune at the stove top as he cooked breakfast, bouncing a little at a made up melody in his head. Raph lounged in a chair at the table, reading a magazine intently, as if it was the most intense thing he'd ever read. Donnie was on the opposite side of the table, tinkering with some small machine while absentmindedly munching on the bowl of cereal he had served himself, only having been awake for the past thirty minutes, a cup of dark coffee sitting right next to him. And Splinter, who sat patiently at the head of the table, watching and listening carefully with an aura that was protective yet calming, and the atmosphere was one of almost silent content, happy to be in each other's presence yet again. At least until Raph scoffed impatiently and placed his magazine down on the table, standing with an annoyed scowl.

"Aight that's it, I'm goin' after Mister Sleepin' Beauty." He growled, already about to make his way out of the kitchen. "He should've been up by now." 

Before he could take another step, Splinter stopped him with a simple gesture and look, ear twitching just slightly as he fixed his brown gaze on his hotheaded son. "Have patience, Raphael. I know you are eager to train, but let your brother rest. It is not often he takes moments like this for himself." 

"Ain't that right." Donnie murmured over the lip of his coffee, only to earn a deadpanned look from Raph. ".. What?" 

"Says you , genius." The red banded turtle motioned to the cup in his hand with a somewhat disapproving undertone. "Just how many of those have you had in the past thirty minutes ??" 

Donnie frowned in an almost pouting fashion, bringing the cup closer as if the older would take it from him. "Not keeping count. There's no need to, though. I'm fine. " 

"Yeah okay, and I'm a Kraang's uncle. " 

"Chill you guys, Leo'll come." Mikey butted in, about as bright and cheery as ever, turning around with a plate full of pancakes and setting it in the middle of the table, and setting an extra one down in front of Splinter, giving his father an extra dazzling smile, expressing his joy in just seeing him again with the simple action. "You know he'd never pass up training, but Splinter is right. He needs some rest." 

" Need is a little bit too much, I think." Came a gravely, rasping voice from the entrance. 

A voice that sounded much too dead to the world to be normal, and the atmosphere instantly changed from content to tense concern as Leo stepped in with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. Immediately all four of their attention was put on him as he bowed lightly at the entrance.

"Sorry for being so late, Sensei. I promise I'll be earlier than usual tomorrow morning." The leader in blue straightened himself and went to the cupboards almost stiffly, as if on autopilot.

It wasn't hard to tell that something was definitely wrong. 

Splinter trailed his oldest son with a look of deep concern, a concern that had not been appeased since reuniting with his sons. The moment he had seen the scars that littered Leonardo's body–especially the two that ran down the left side of his neck–all he knew was a rage he had yet to let show. But when he had attempted to ask, a terribly dark, haunted expression crossed Leonardo's face, and was told, "Some time later, Sensei" in a voice that Splinter could not remember was his.

He understood the reason–the first attempt had not been a good time to catch up, they had other pressing matters to attend to. But every time when he thought it was good, he was pushed away, something the old rat was not used to from any of his sons; he had thought they would be able to entrust him with anything, but now, there were worrying signs of something cold that pressed on every one of them, that somehow drew them apart more than drew them together. 

And the guilt–of not being there, of not protecting his own kin–would crush him. Perhaps they were angry at him. Which would be understood. But Splinter could tell they were hiding something, and one way or another, he was going to know what that something was. And he was going to know today. 

"It is not unusual to sleep in, my son," Splinter said calmly and slowly, absentmindedly cutting into the pancakes his youngest graciously offered him. "Sleep is vital for the soul to heal, and for the body to function. Without it, we would be husks." 

From the corner of his eye he watched as Leonardo grabbed the tea kettle and put water into it, leaving it on the burner to heat up and watching the steam rise from the nozzle almost distractedly. ".. Well," He murmured. "Too much sleep can be harmful too." 

Splinter narrowed his eyes, just slightly. ".. Supposedly." 

In an attempt to break the atmosphere, Mikey smiled, and though it was a bit forced, he held up the pancakes for Leo to see. "D'you want some pancakes, bro? I made them from scratch this time, and I saved the fluffiest ones for you! Just the way you like 'em!" 

"No thanks." Leo's reply was entirely clipped, making the orange-banded turtle's grin crumple entirely. He hadn't so much as turned to any of them. "Not hungry. But thanks anyway, Mikey." 

"... Oh." Mikey set the plate back down on the table and sat with his own plate of food, looking utterly defeated as he stared at the surface glumly. "Okay." 

The tense silence only thickened after that. The only thing that interrupted it was the sound of the kettle whistling, which was quickly ended when Leo turned the stove off, pouring hot water into his cup and making his way to the farthest seat away from his father. 

And it was then that Splinter knew enough would be enough. He was not going to stand for this much longer.

So in an attempt to catch their attention, he cleared his throat, causing all four heads to look up at him with part apprehension, part questioning looks. He fixed each gaze with a pointed look, setting his hands folded on the table in a show that this was going to be a talk they most definitely would not like. 

"I think," Splinter began once the point had seemingly been made clear to every one of them. "It is time we have had a talk. And I believe you all know what it is I mean." 

Immediately, all four of his turtles became tense. Leonardo pausing in the middle of taking another sip of his drink. Mikey and Donnie sharing a quick look before attempting to seem normal again, Raphael simply shoving his head further into the magazine almost comically so, as if trying to bring the words closer. 

But unfortunately for him, his hot headed son was the closest to him.

"Raphael."

At the call of his name, the second oldest's head snapped up, staring at Splinter with slightly wide eyes, meeting his father's intense gaze. A gaze that did not change as he asked, "Would you care to elaborate on the subject?" 

Raph only blinked incredulously. " Um ." 

Someone had cleared their voice, making his head turn to see the side-glare Leo was giving him with a single eye, a clear message in those blue eyes of his. It was an exchange that made Raph completely uncomfortable, and he slumped in on himself just a little bit, expression turning into something that broke Splinter's heart as he watched the silent interaction.

"I… I can't, Sensei." He murmured uncharacteristically quietly, sounding defeated as he stared at the table hard, unable to look up at any of them. "Sorry." 

Splinter studied Raphael's body language for a long moment. "... Very well." He eventually relented, only to turn his attention to his youngest son. "What about you, Michelangelo?" 

Said turtle simply shoved the rest of his pancakes into his mouth to prevent himself from talking, his cheeks puffing and his head shaking as he pointed at his mouth as if to say " Can't talk, food in mouth".

Here was where a slight bit of annoyance came and went in the rat's eyes, but he didn't let it show in his voice, remaining patient and calm as he went to the remaining of the four. "Donatello?"

Splinter would have hoped that the most logical out of them all would have broken. Except, instead, the genius simply turned himself away with a guilty posture, almost the same way Raphael was. And one glance at his oldest told Splinter he would not be getting an answer out of Leonardo, the oldest's attention remaining on the tea in his hands as if it were the most interesting thing in that moment.

He was getting nowhere. Not like this.

Abruptly the old rat stood from the table, his annoyance reaching a level he did not like to show or feel, hands stiffly folded behind his back as he stared at each of his son's, who's attention was back on him with different levels of surprise.

"Very well." Even his voice was clipped and stern despite his attempts to keep it collected and neutral. "Since you all are unwilling to talk here, perhaps a change of scenery is in order. Meet me in the dojo within the next five minutes. No sooner, no later." 

Splinter could feel his son's stares on his backside as he walked out of the dining room without waiting for a response.

This was going to be a lot harder than he thought.

Leonardo kept himself completely still. Void of emotion, posture relaxed, face slack and not letting a single thing slip into his expression. He was as stoic as a rock, unlike his brothers, who stood in line around him just like always but with varying degrees of emotion on their faces.

Raph fidgeting slightly with nervousness. Mikey tapping his fingers together with worry. And Donnie with utter and complete anxiety. Every few seconds, each one would look to him, then back to their father, who had been standing in front of the shrine, back facing them, for the past five minutes it had taken to get there. They had been waiting for him to do or say anything , as if the very walls were holding it's breath.

Leo knew they knew what this was about. He knew he was the cause of this, and the slight guilt he felt was a reminder of that. And he hoped, with all his might, they would not let anything slip. No matter what Father would say. Splinter didn't need to know what happened when he had his own worries to deal with. Leo couldn't, wouldn't, burden anyone like that ever again.

The nightmares were simply just another obstacle to get over, just like his knee was. And he was determined to do it all on his own. 

After what felt like the longest moment of his life, Splinter's head finally rose, immediately grabbing all four of his sons' attention, the tension in the air rising.

But Leo was not ready for the absolute despair that leaked out of his father's voice when he spoke.

".. Tell me." Master Splinter murmured without turning around. "Have I done something to upset the four of you?"

A chorus of "No", " Never ", "Of course not!" came from three out of the four turtles, Leo continuing to be stiff and silent. He knew what Splinter was doing, and while he didn't doubt his pain was real, he wasn't going to fall for it. Even if his own heart ached. 

There was a slight panic-inducing pause again, then the rat mutant finally turned himself around, soft brown eyes sad and desolate. "Then why do you all push me away?"

Now it was his son's turn to keep silent. None of them knowing how to answer him, or simply refusing to. Even as those brown eyes met each gaze, landing on Leo's stoney face for a minute much longer than necessary.

Leo saw that despair in those eyes again and he felt something inside him crack just slightly.

Splinter turned his head away after a moment. "... The day we got separated… As you all are well aware of, I had confronted the Shredder." The tension in the air turned thick and dark at the mention of the name, and his ear flicked at it. He didn't miss the change, but continued on as if nothing happened. "I had gone out after defeating Kraang Prime in an attempt to find you four. And along the way, there was a trail. A trail of not only Kraang droid parts, but of weapons. " This time he turned around fully, gaze completely focused on the eldest. " Leonardo's weapons." 

Said turtle still did not move. Not even as every pair of eyes shifted onto him.

"There were signs of struggle. Of a fight. I followed that trail for many miles, in the cold. That trail led me to Oroku Saki." Their father's eyes looked down to the ground now. There was an anger in those eyes that Leo had never seen before from him. An anger that almost scared him. "He had been waiting for me. In the middle of a construction site. He had told me… He had taken you away from me. Just as he did with Miwa. Just as he did with Karai."

There was that despair again. That pain. A grief so pungent it filled the room. As if he had been reliving that awful, terrible day all over again. Leo tried desperately to keep himself together, to fix the cracks in his composure the more Splinter talked, that same grief spilling into his heart as his tense shoulders fell, as if a weight was placed there. 

It didn't help when he heard Mikey sniffle. 

The leader clenched his fists to keep them from shaking.

"The rest… You all know," Splinter continued softly, head angled away for a moment. "When he had told me… That he had taken my child, my son, away from me again , I had- lost myself. To lose any of you, is my greatest fear, and not only was I angry, I was afraid. It had almost broken me. I do not tell you all this, to make you feel guilty, or to gain sympathy. Nor do I say it lightly. But in the moments that I could not see you, could not hold you… And for the time you all were gone…" He closed his eyes tight. "I feared the most I had ever feared in my entire life." 

Leo couldn't hear any more of it. He couldn't take Mikey's attempts at stifling his sniffles. He needed to get out, to escape.

He was going to break. 

A thin, clawed hand was placed on his shoulder then, bringing him out of a zone he didn't know he had gotten into. He looked up to meet Splinter's soft, concerned and sad gaze, and everything in him stopped.

"What has happened, has happened." His father murmured. "And while you are all physically here, I sense that you are not mentally, and that is what I am worried about. This… This hiding from me, it is not what I am used to, and if it is because I had left you all to fend for yourselves, if it is because I was not there when you needed me most… Then I am sorry." 

No… No, that's not what this was. That wasn't his intentions, Leo didn't, didn't blame him for this, if anything what happened was his own fault, he just–he wasn't–

" No. " Leo found himself whispering hoarsely, fighting back the burn of tears and swallowing them down. " No Sensei, never. This was.. This was my fault– "

"Like hell it was." Came Raph's snarling response, anger and hatred dripping from his voice. Both heads turned to see green eyes blazing with a fire, but there were tears building in his eyes as he glared at his older brother. "We've already told you Leo, none of that was your fault. It was no one's fault. Get that shit out of your head already for fucks sake." 

Splinter's brows furrowed slightly disapprovingly at the use of foul language, but there was more concern in his eyes, the cussing the least of his worries. "What was not his fault, Raphael?" 

Immediately Leo fixed Raph with a much stronger , almost desperate glare that practically screamed " Don't tell him or else". And for a moment the two fought silently, Leo quickly losing when just the tiniest of tears slipped from Raph's eyes. There was no effect on them this time.

"Shredder jumped him." The red-masked turtle eventually hissed , and inwardly Leo completely broke. "We weren't there when it happened. He was alone. But Shredder and his goons jumped him. " 

He felt Splintered hand tighten on his shoulder. 

There it was. That was it. All of Leo's dignity and pride crashing to the ground and breaking like glass shards. And once one piece broke, the rest followed like dominoes.

And it was only he who reaped the consequences.

Donnie spoke up next, twisting his strap anxiously and not meeting Splinter or Leo's gaze. "It.. It was bad , Sensei. T-they threw him through a window, and he was.. He was on the brink of dying. We had to.. To escape to Northampton so Leo could recover but, but he was in a coma for three months , and his knee was out for another month and a half, which is why it took so long for us to get back and we're sorry Sensei." He blubbered, his own eyes filling with tears as well, and he wiped at them to keep them from falling before he looked up at Splinter. "We didn't mean to hide all this but.. But Leo told us not to tell even though it's obvious and-...!" 

His rambling stopped abruptly when Splinter's hand rose in the air.

Leo hadn't noticed the absence of his hand until then. But he had been too busy inwardly cracking as just barely healing wounds reopened and spilled like blood the more this went on. Feeling sick, ashamed, his stare never once leaving the ground as it went on. In the corner of his eye he watched Raph take a sniffling Mikey into his arms gingerly. 

And that had seemed to be enough for their father.

"Donatello. Raphael. Michelangelo." His voice was deadly silent. "Leave us. I will be with you all shortly."  

Not a single one of them dared to argue. The remaining mutant turtle continued to stand stiffly in the middle of the dojo, not daring to look up at his father, who remained silent for a long while longer.

Then. "Leonardo. Take off your gear." 

" No. " Was Leo's immediate frantic response, his head whipping up finally to look at Splinter with wide eyes. "Sensei I-I can't–"

He stopped when seeing the expression on his father's face. 

It was a look that left no room for discussion. A cold, awful anger in those eyes that he knew wasn't directed at him, but still left him freezing entirely. Those once warm and caring brown eyes unforgiving as they stared off into space. 

"Now." Splinter all but barely murmured.

Here, Leo knew he had no choice. There was no debating, no dodging, no more hiding. This was it.

So, begrudgingly, slowly , he did what he was told.

He started with his belt, unstrapping it from his plastron and gently placing the katanas down with slightly shaking hands. The pads on his knees and elbows came next, and he used a kunai to slowly cut off his wrappings. Lastly came his mask, and he set that to the ground before standing straight up, shaking hands balled into fists as he fought back that burn of tears. 

Every single scar he gathered, every single wound was exposed to the dojo, to his own father, a face he could not stare back up to again in fear of breaking down entirely.

He was the leader. The one that had to keep it together. He wasn't allowed to break. He couldn't.

He expected scolding. Expected to be told to do better, just as the voice in his own head told him.

Leo startled suddenly when he felt a thin hand cup the side of his face so tenderly it almost made him dizzy. Simply out of shock, he raised his head.

And found his father was crying. 

"My son… " Splinter whispered, small tears slowly cascading down his soft, patterned fur. There was so much despair in his voice. "My beautiful child… I am sorry. " 

Finally. Leo broke.

A sob blubbered out of him and he leaned forward into the fabric of his father's robes, arms taking him in tightly as his own wrapped desperately around the rat's torso. He sobbed like he had never before, grief and pain and sorrow for the childhood he had lost, that had been left behind in that construction sight. Splinter held him as he shook with the fear that came for him every morning, that kept him up every night, that filled the dark of his mind.

That told him he would never be safe. Never again.

Leo gripped onto his father, holding on and never wanting to let go, letting himself break until it was all over, until he had nothing left to hold back, all of his emotions spent on just the morning alone. 

Who knew something so simple as waking up would be so hard ?

" I'm sorry Sensei.. " He gasped in between sobs. "I'm sorry .. I disappointed you, I-I failed , I–"

"No, Leonardo, listen to me. " The leader was pulled back immediately, hands once again lifting his head up so he could stare up at Splinter's own sorrowful, grieving gaze. "You did not fail me. Nor did you disappoint me. Do you understand? None of you could ever do such a thing, and what happened was not your fault. Raphael was right about that at least, and I never want to hear you say those words about yourself ever again. Do you understand me?" 

Leo blinked with slight surprise, and a fresh volley of tears came down his face, tears that his father wiped away with such love and care that he couldn't find his voice. So, he simply nodded, and buried his face right back into Splinter's arms. 

" Hai, Sensei. " Was all he could manage.

God he felt… He felt way too old for this. For being coddled and held like a baby who got spooked by an imaginary monster under his bed. But he also knew that he desperately needed this, even if he didn't want to admit it, even if it was utterly embarrassing. He missed Splinter, so very much .

He swore on his own life he would never, ever , let his father go again. 

Eventually, Leonardo knew that he had to pull himself together, to get a grip on his emotions. So, much to his own begrudgement, he reeled them all back in. The grief, the pain, the fear… Though they were a much, much less heavy thing to carry now than it had been before. 

But he was still a leader. Still the oldest. He could only divulge himself for so long.

He took in a deep inhale of air, and as he let it out he pulled away from his father, wiping at his face to get rid of any remnants of tears. Splinter let him, but kept his hands on his son's shoulders for a last bit of support he could possibly give. Leo knew he had more to say, but couldn't make himself look up at him still. There was still that bit of shame lodged in him.

Nevertheless, Splinter spoke softly. “You do not have to do this now. Or any time soon. But I would like to make a… Request , of sorts.” 

At this, the turtle finally looked up, blinking. The very fact that his Sensei was asking permission for something was… Unexpected. And upon looking up, he noticed something hidden in the rat’s eyes, in the corners of his expression, but Leo couldn't tell what it was. 

He ventured on carefully regardless. “Which is..?” 

“When you are ready, I would like a full report on what occurred the day we… Got separated.” Splinter’s ear twitched and so did the corner of his mouth, but he continued on as if nothing happened. “Could be in writing. Could be in any other form you'd wish to convey it. Could even be a few months from now. Either way…” 

Here, finally, Leo understood exactly what was going on in his father's mind as he glanced away, ever so slightly, a tinge of sadness on the edge of his voice.

Guilt.

“I would like to know what had happened to my sons while I was… Unavailable .” 

“Sense-Father , wait ,” It was like he panicked when Splinter finally let his shoulders go, that terrible feeling of guilt shooting him straight through his heart as he carefully grabbed Splinter's wrist to get him to stay. “Father… None of this was your fault. None of us would ever dare to blame you for this.”

Guilt. The kind that ate at your soul, thick and heavy and toxic. Yes Leo knew exactly what Splinter was doing right now and it made his heart plummet all the way down to his feet. He knew how that guilt felt, what it did to a person; it was in him right now. But the very fact that his own father was blaming himself for something like this…

Splinter did not turn to face his son. But his ear had turned, telling him he was listening. “... Sometimes I forget how perceptive you can be.” Was what he eventually murmured, sadly.

Leo wouldn't have none of it, though. Almost desperately, he shook his head. “No, listen. We all meant it earlier when we said we didn't blame you. You had… You had gone through a lot yourself . And, and I'm sorry if I didn't say it with the others, but I wouldn't ever do that to you, Father, I swear. None of this was your fault. None of this was… Was anyone's fault.” He winced, just slightly, at how he had to admit that, out loud nonetheless. But he found he had meant it. He stared right down to the floor at his next unbelievable words. “Raph… He was right. We talked about it already and the whole thing… The whole thing was out of any of our control. There wasn't much anyone could do to make it better and I–I…” 

Damn it. The leader thought as his eyes prickled once again, voice trailing off. I thought I was done with this already! He shut his eyes, hoping it'd stave off the feeling.

“I didn't… I didn't want to push you away. I wanted nothing more than to tell you but… I thought I could handle it on my own. Everyone else had their own problems, especially you, and I didn't want to be a burden anymore. I don't want to be a burden anymore.” He squeezed his eyes tighter. “But I never meant to push you away. And it was never because I blamed you. I swear , Father. I swear…” 

By the time he had finished, his throat felt just a little bit rougher, having already been dry and hurting from all the crying. But he pushed the words out, because he knew he had to say them, otherwise nothing would change.

In himself, or in his Sensei.

For a terrifying moment, nothing was said, neither moved. Leonardo gave a slight start when, eventually, Splinter turned back around to him finally, a clawed hand resting on top of his head. And when he looked up… He found his father smiling softly.

There was still that sadness. That sorrow. But for now, that guilt seemed to have been appeased. And that was enough for Leo.

“Thank you, my son.” Splinter murmured gently. “It is… Good, to know that.” That smile turned into something stern, then. “But you will do well to remember that you are not a burden; you could never be a burden. We are your family. Rely on us. Trust us. Understand?”

Of course he would. He would trust his Sensei and his brothers with everything that he had, because they were all he had. They meant the word to him, for the rest of forever.

But there was no way to put any of that into words. So, Leo swallowed past the lump in his throat, feeling a little overwhelmed at the amount of relief in him, and managed a soft, “ Hai, Sensei. ” 

It was the exact response his father needed. That smile returned, and he gave a nod, patting Leo's head affectionately before finally turning back around, walking to the altar. “Good. You may collect your things; you are now dismissed.” 

Simply out of respect, Leo bowed, straight and low, at the dismissal. Holding it for an extra two seconds longer, hoping Splinter could feel the amount of love and appreciation that he held in his heart for the older mutant. When he had done just that, he went to the pile on the floor and collected it all into his arms, heading to the doors.

Just before he stepped through though, from his shoulder, his Sensei called him. “Oh, and Leonardo.” 

Leo turned his head to see he was being stared at with one soft and caring eye. That smile even softer, if at all possible.

“Give yourself the day off, for a change. I imagine you need it.” 

Once again caught by surprise, the turtle blinked, but felt no resentment for the demand; he felt exhausted, yet this time it was a different kind of exhausted. Like he could actually sleep it off and wake up refreshed for the first time since the farmhouse. He found himself smiling lightly in return, and gave a nod.

“I will.” 

With a final nod from his master, he made his way out, looking forward to sleep for a change.