Chapter Text
One of the first things Hunter wanted to do the morning after the End of the World was cut his hair again.
It had grown back when- well, he didn’t want to think about it- and he hadn’t had a chance to cut it again because, well, it was the End of the World.
He had gotten up at 6:00 AM like he used to- he had gotten used to sleeping in later back in the human realm but despite the exhaustion after everything, the nightmares and anxieties had won and he found himself awake early this time. He pushed himself up off the mattress The Owl Lady had placed on the ground, looking around the room for a moment. All his friends were staying at the Owl House tonight, too anxious to leave anyone alone. They were all still asleep, though some tossed and turned, maybe having nightmares of their own.
Hunter sighed, standing up and walking to the bathroom. His legs were a little wobbly and his head was full of heavy fog. He flicked the bathroom light on with a tired yawn and stepped in front of the mirror.
Then couldn’t get himself to look up at his reflection.
It was irrational, he knew. But part of him thought he’d see Caleb, or Belos, or a Golden Guard, or a rotting corpse. He hadn’t really looked at his reflection after getting possessed, he didn’t know what to expect. He knew he had new scars, he knew his hair had grown, but it was one thing to know it and another to see it. Was he still recognizable? Would he still know who he was? (Did he ever really know?)
He swallowed his fear and forced his eyes to glance up, even if just for a moment. Then he couldn’t look away.
He couldn’t breathe.
It felt like he was drowning all over again. Belos left permanent and very noticeable scars- far more than Hunter had before- and just seeing them made him feel sick. His hair had grown back and it looked kind of like Caleb’s. His eyes were brown, and he couldn’t recognize himself, he didn’t know who he was looking at, he couldn’t breathe-
He stumbled to the floor, still trying desperately to get air into his stonesleeper lungs, but he felt like he was floating through water, unable to swim to the surface. Maybe Camila would come and save him again, or Luz, or somebody. He was too useless to do it himself, apparently.
He yanked at his hair as he started to cry, curled up in the corner. His arms were scarred too, and the look of them made him want to pull his skin apart so there would be no trace of Belos on him.
At some point, he felt gentle hands reach for his own, and he grasped them tightly, begging to be pulled out of the water before he could die. He didn’t even hear footsteps entering the bathroom, his ears had started ringing at some point.
His vision was too blurry from tears to see who was there, and they weren’t talking, but their hands were gentle and he thought he could probably trust them. He was feeling desperate, anyway. Whoever it was sat in front of him, still holding his hands, tapping a gentle rhythm with their fingers on his wrists and he tried to match it with his breathing.
“That’s it,” they said, and he heard them now. “Deep breaths, keep going.”
He wasn’t doing very well. His breaths were unsteady, and interrupted by sobs and hiccups. Crying always made him feel weak and stupid, but after many conversations with Camila and his friends, he was trying to be better about it. Still, his inability to breathe was frustrating him.
“Keep trying, you’ll get it.” The voice said, and he forced himself to believe them, inhaling again. Exhaling. Inhaling. “You’re doing great, keep breathing.”
Hunter sniffled, trying to meet the person’s eyes. Raine Whispers looked just as tired as him, eye bags and messy hair. Bits of straw from the nest clung to them.
“S-sorry.” He choked out, voice wobbly and hoarse. “If I woke you. A-and for crying.”
Raine shook their head. “You’re okay. Keep breathing.”
He nodded, recognizing he was starting to panic again. Raine was still holding his hands in theirs. Their hands felt warm.
“You didn’t wake me. I was having trouble sleeping.” They explained. “And I don’t mind helping you through this. I’ll stay with you as long as you need me- or I can get someone else to help if you’d prefer. They won’t mind either, not for you.”
“N-no, stay.” Hunter said, voice no louder than a whisper.
Raine smiled gently and nodded.
It was quiet for a moment, aside from Hunter’s crying and sniffling and breathing. Raine was breathing too, of course, but theirs came much more naturally. Eventually holding hands had turned into Raine wrapping an arm around his shoulder and Hunter leaning into their side. He got a bit of snot and tears on their shirt, but they didn’t seem to mind.
“C-can you, um-” Hunter began, trying to phrase a request in a way that didn’t sound strange. Raine tilted their head, encouraging him to continue. “Can you like- sorry, this is dumb, but- can you maybe like… just talk about something? Like, whatever. I don’t think I can stop- stop crying until I get my mind off this.”
Raine nodded. “Sure.” They hummed for a moment, thinking of what to say. Hunter kept breathing- in and out, in and out.
And then they told stories. About everything and nothing. Some were about Eda, or Eberwolf, or Darius. Some were about school and bard magic. They all felt normal and insignificant and it didn’t matter if Hunter’s mind was too fuzzy to remember all the details. He let himself forget about everything else for a while, trying to focus on their words.
“Um- completely unrelated-” Hunter said, after he felt he had calmed down enough. He had sort of interrupted them mid-story, but they didn’t seem to mind. “Are you okay? After everything. I don’t really know what happened to you specifically, but you were with Eda and King and Luz so you must’ve been pretty caught up in things and you have new scars and… Yeah, just. How are you?”
He didn’t really know their side of the story, but he knew everyone had been through a lot that day. Raine was no exception. Their scars looked like tears running down their cheeks, and part of him wondered if real tears had traced them yet.
They looked at the wall instead of at him, expression hard to read. “I’m okay, I think. Talking to you helps- I probably would’ve been stuck in my head, too.”
“We can, um. We can talk about stuff. Like- actually important stuff. If that would help.” Hunter decided. “I might cry again, but… Talking about this stuff is supposed to help, right? Getting it off my chest or whatever?”
“If you want to.” Raine said. “And you can stop whenever. We’ve all been through a lot, take your time with it all, okay?”
Hunter didn’t really know where to begin. It was the End of the World after all, the entire Isles shifted and the world had rearranged. Hunter had been possessed, his first and best friend had died by his own hands, he nearly drowned, he had been turned into a puppet by the Collector, he had fought tooth and nail to survive the End and somehow made it out the other side, but not unscarred. Not unscarred.
(That wasn’t even mentioning what had happened before getting trapped in the Human Realm. His accidental trip into Belos’ mind, while quite long ago at this point, had certainly scarred him mentally.)
“I wanted to cut my hair.” He finally said. “I had cut it a while back, but um… It grew back, and I wanted it cut again. But when I looked in the mirror I-” He stared at the floor, at his red socks on the white tile. “I guess I didn’t recognize myself? Or, well, I didn’t recognize myself. Um- I hadn’t really looked in a mirror since- since everything, and so much changed…”
He didn’t know how much they knew about his side of the story, either. Probably not much. Everyone was eager to collapse and pass out after everything was over, so not much talking had happened yet. He wondered what Raine thought it all meant- his new scars, his new hair, his new eyes.
“I haven’t really looked at myself yet, either.” Raine admitted. “I’m still scared to.”
“You can now, if you’re ready. I won’t judge.” Hunter said. “I think you changed less than me? It’s um- mostly just your scars, and your hair grew a bit…” Hunter wondered what theirs meant, too. He knew Belos caused it somehow.
“Even just the scars are a lot, though.” They said, reaching a hand up to trace them with their fingertips, face scrunched up in distaste.
Hunter sighed. “Yeah.”
It was quiet again for a moment before Raine finally stood up, pushing themself off the ground. Hunter did, too, and the change in position felt a little weird. How long had they been sitting there?
Raine stepped towards the mirror, and Hunter stood beside them. Maybe he would recognize himself this time. Maybe they both would.
They both looked up at their reflections.
Raine’s breath got a little unsteady. Their eyes widened, and their fingers went up to trace the scars again. Hunter grabbed their hand and started tapping a rhythm. The rhythm was for him, too- his own breath was starting to speed up again.
“The scars are a lot.” Hunter said, more to himself than them. “I don’t like that he left a mark on me like that.”
Raine shuddered. “Me neither. Um- for either of us. Oh, I have one on my ear too-”
Hunter opened a drawer and dug through it for a moment. “Do they keep scissors in here? Probably not, right?” He wasn’t sure why he thought there might be. It’d be convenient at the moment, though.
“We can go find some.” Raine said with a sad sort of smile on their face. “I think I’d like a haircut, too.”
—
The haircuts looked like shit. Neither of them were hairstylists and it showed, and the anxiety making their hands shaky certainly didn’t help. But at least they looked a bit more like themselves.
“Thanks.” Hunter said, trying to get little pieces of cut hair off his neck. “It looks much better.”
“No problem.” Raine said, staring at their reflection in the mirror. “I’m glad it helped.”
“Did it help you ?” Hunter asked. Raine’s haircut looked much worse, admittedly. Hunter was awful at cutting it, but Raine couldn’t cut it all themself.
“A little, I think. The scars bother me more than the hair did, though.” They leaned against the sink, head resting in their hand. “I don’t like the reminder.”
“Yeah. Yeah, no, me neither.” Hunter said, still trying to adjust to seeing brown eyes in the mirror instead of magenta. “I hate him so much. I wish he had died ages ago. Before everything could go to shit.”
Raine sighed. “Wouldn’t that have been nice.”
“It feels like he’s still there. Under my skin.” Hunter finally choked out. It was irrational, he knew it was irrational, but the thought had been there since it had happened. Raine probably had no clue what he was talking about, but oh well.
“Oh. You too?” They said, surprising him.
He met their eyes in the mirror. He had considered the possibility- or at least, it had occurred to him somewhere at some point in his fogged up brain, but he hadn’t dwelled on it long. “You were possessed,” he realized, and it wasn’t a question, but Raine nodded a confirmation anyway.
“He used me to mess with the Collector. And to get closer to the Titan’s heart.” And oh, Hunter felt sick. It was bad enough that he had to deal with it, he hated that Belos got his slimy hands on other people, too.
“He um- he killed my palisman.” Hunter said, feeling a bit like he was underwater again, but he grabbed Raine’s hand and it helped a little.
Raine turned to meet his eyes- away from the mirror. He met theirs as well. He was pretty sure he was crying again, but he didn’t really care anymore.
“I’m sorry,” they said. Their arms had opened, and he fell into a hug. “Want to tell me about them? What were they like?”
Hunter breathed. “He was a cardinal. His name was- was Flapjack.” Inhale, exhale, follow the rhythm. “He was my best friend. And he died to save me.”
“I’m sorry he made you do that.” Raine held him tightly. “I’m sorry.”
The cycle repeated. Hunter supposed there would be a lot of crying in the coming days. It almost felt like it would never stop. But at least he wasn’t alone. That helped. It helped a lot.
“He loved you. Flapjack. I never met him, but I’m sure he did.”
“He did, yeah. He did.” Hunter sniffled. “I don’t really understand why.”
“I know.” Raine looked at Hunter’s eyes again. He wondered if they could see Flapjack somewhere in the brown. “It can be hard to see yourself the way other people see you. Or- in a positive light at all, I guess. But you weren’t the only one to enjoy time spent with him. That time meant a lot to both of you.”
“I never really had any friends before him.” Hunter said. “I didn’t really know how to be someone’s friend.”
“Palismen bond through emotions, and shared experiences. You had a connection. A bond. And that can build a friendship pretty fast.” Raine pulled out their scroll and went through their photo album, landing on a picture of a fox. “My palisman understood me better than anyone else did. It- helps. To know you’re not alone.”
“That’s what this is, I guess. Emotion and shared experience. With us two, I mean.” Hunter said, looking back at the mirror.
“Yeah. I guess it is.” Raine smiled. “I wish we didn’t share it, though. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.”
“Yeah, it sucked.” Hunter laughed. “But this helped.”
“This helped.”
—
He was closer to Raine after that. He hadn’t ever really expected to be friends with them, though he supposed they used to be kind of nice to him in the castle. Raine understood his possession better than anyone else, better even than people who had been there to witness it, because they knew how it felt to be in his position.
Later that morning, he and Raine helped make breakfast for everyone. They made flapjacks.
Hunter felt safe, for a moment. Maybe things would be okay now.