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Vaggie screamed in agony and horror as she watched the spear plunge through her eye Lute had ripped out. She’d said something about betrayal and her being worthless, but Vaggie couldn’t make it out. Her ears were ringing, and she was using all of her energy to try to push herself back onto her feet to no avail. She was certain Lute would finish her off, all because she wanted to spare a demon who resembled a child. She watched with blurred vision as the head exorcist raised her spear high and accepted her fate. She ducked her head down to brace for the impact, expecting to be dead within seconds, only for none to come. She poked her head up to see an annoyed looking Lute flying away, and a demon with long blonde hair offering her a hand up. Vaggie was hesitant to accept it at first, but she saw the bandages, and let the stranger patch her up. She seemed a little awkward and nervous, which made sense under the circumstances. She was trying to talk to her, but Vaggie was still struggling to hear, eventually she made out the words ‘Can you walk’, to which she struggled to reply.
“I.. I don’t... I don’t think... so...”.
“Ok, that’s fine,” she heard clearly, “Why don’t we...”, was the last thing the fallen Angel had heard before the ringing returned, and she felt herself begin to lose consciousness.
When Vaggie woke up again, she was surprised to find herself in a rather luxurious-looking bedroom, with the stranger from before sitting at the foot of the bed looking awfully worried while petting some sort of flying lamb... goat... creatures? The ringing in her ears was gone, and though she was still weak and in pain managed to get herself to sit upright. As she moved, the girl at the end of the bed snapped her head around.
“You’re awake!’, she gushed. “Are you feeling okay? Can you hear me? Do you want me to get you anything?”.
“I... yeah, I can hear you now, I don’t really think I need anything, but... where am I?”.
“Oh, right! You’re in one of the guest bedrooms in the castle!”.
“The... the castle?”, Vaggie said as she struggled to remember the major locations in Hell. If she remembered correctly the castle was the one place in the pride ring the Exorcists weren’t allowed to go to during the extermination because of something about a deal with Lucifer.
“Oh! Do you not know about the castle? Are you a recent passing?”.
“Yeah, I, uh... yeah... something like that”. She was certain that if she were to reveal the truth to Charlie she’d immediately be thrown back outside to be killed by her sisters.
“Holy shit, I am so sorry that was your first impression of Hell! I swear it’s normally not like that down here, I mean granted it is still Hell, but normally even though there is some.... in fighting... you won’t get too hurt. I mean the only way you can die again is by Angelic weapons. Although technically there are a couple of magic things which can kill sinners but... oh shit, I’m rambling! Is this TMI? Am I talking too much? Should I stop talking? I’ve definitely been talking for way too long, I’m sorry”. Vaggie couldn’t help but laugh a little at Charlie’s overenthusiastic nature. She almost reminded her of the younger Seraphim, Emily. They weren’t close, but with Vaggie’s previously high reputation from Adam, the two had talked on occasion.
“It’s fine, you don’t have to apologize, I actually found it kind of cute- I- not in a weird way, just- Wow, your ranting is infectious”. Now it was Charlie’s turn to laugh.
“You’re probably the first person besides my dad to call my ramblings cute”.
“Well, your dad is right then”. Vaggie couldn’t help but scold herself internally for saying such things to a literal demonic stranger. So, what if she’s cute and funny and has been nothing but sweet so far? For all she knows it’s all just an act to manipulate her, all she knows is that she can’t let her guard down. Regardless of how weak said guard may be and how much they were both blushing.
“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need or like,” Charlie said while brushing some of her hair behind her ear. “My parents mostly keep to themselves, so they won’t bother you”.
“I- you said earlier this was like the Castle of Hell or something like that... So, what about like... Lucifer or Satan or whoever’s in charge down here? Won’t they be around?”.
“Oh, right you’re new and don’t know... um, I am Charlie Morningstar ... daughter of Lucifer and Lilith... Morningstar ”.
“Oh! I um....”.
“Please don’t be nervous! Just because I’m technically the Princess of Hell doesn’t mean I want your soul or anything! Although you definitely don’t want to make any contracts... it’s hard to tell what you’re signing onto..”.
“So are you like the future queen of Hell?”.
“I mean on the off chance something happens to my parents then... yeah... but that’s super unlikely, I mean my mom’s power is stronger than ever, and my dad... well he’s been a bit... unmotivated lately, but he’s still one of the most powerful beings in all of creation!”. Vaggie noticed how nervous Charlie seemed and couldn’t help but wonder why the daughter of two insanely powerful demons would be so hesitant to share her power.
“So are there like... a lot of families in Hell?”, Vaggie asked while looking over towards the window. She’d never stayed after the extermination ended before, and had never seen that while some demons took and took during reconstruction, others’ humanity showed.
“Oh, no, Sinners can’t have kids. My mom never technically died, and my dad is a fallen angel! Although there are some families who were related when they were alive, there aren’t too many of those and they don’t always even wind up finding each other,” she said while walking over to the window to look down at the destruction. “I don’t understand why Heaven does this every year, I mean what do they gain?”.
Vaggie thought about that for a moment. What did they gain? Sure, the exorcists got special privileges, but they were always told it was to prevent the demons from uprising. And now that she as down here, it seems like the only motivation any of them would have to revolt was the revolution.
“I don’t know if it’s because they’re upset my mom helped empower demonkind to build our own civilizations so now they’re scared that we have any power, but every year it just causes more and more suffering...”.
“I... I’m sorry your people have to go through so much,” Vaggie apologized whole-heartedly.
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault!” Charlie said as she turned around to face her. Vaggie couldn’t help but feel a little guilty about lying to her. The princess must’ve noticed something was off because she came over to the bed, this time closer to where Vaggie was sitting and took her hand. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s over for this year, why don’t you focus on getting better and then we can go shopping? We can get you some new clothes and I’m sure you’d like to own more than just that angelic spear, although it could be pretty useful”
“Spear...? You let me keep my spear?”.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I? Sure it’s dangerous, but it’s yours, how did you get it anyways? I know overlords like Carmilla Carmine sell Angelic weapons, but you don’t seem like you’ve been here long enough to even know who she is”.
“Oh, right, I uh... saw an exorcist drop one by mistake as they flew away, and I grabbed it for uh... self-defense, I guess”. It wasn’t too far-fetched, Sera used to lecture Adam about how she can’t keep making excuses to use more and more angelic spears every time they dropped theirs, because the rest of heaven couldn’t know what was happening. Vaggie had always found that a bit odd, but never questioned it.
“Wow! Well, first, it’s impressive you managed to grab it without getting killed, and second, as smart as that is, exorcists can’t be killed, only sinners, technically fallen Angels can too”.
“Oh, ok,” Vaggie said in an attempt to feign ignorance. “Could you tell me more about Hell? Or how that Carmilla Carmine person gets her angelic weapons?”, she asked with genuine curiosity. While the exorcists had been taught about Hell, the more she talked to Charlie, the more she found out just how much of it was propagandized lies. The princess gladly explained Hell’s history, and many of the other aspects of her kingdom. The more Vaggie listened to her talk, the more she felt her guard begin to drop, the more she questioned everything she’d known up in heaven, and the more she felt guilty for lying to the sweetest person she’d ever met.
About 2-3 weeks later, while she was still getting used to the depth perception of seeing with one eye, and still had a bit of a limp, Vaggie was back on her feet and functioning. Charlie had taken her shopping as promised, and she picked out some clothes and other things she’d liked. She wanted to pay her back some way, through labor or through getting a job and earning money, but the princess was insistent. She even got them a couple of matching outfits, and when the pair returned to Lucifer’s Manor (Which Vaggie had learned to be the proper name of the castle, and yet another thing the Exorcists had failed to be educated about) Charlie practically forced her to take a couple of hair bows she owned and said would go perfectly with the style of the outfits she’d chosen. Eventually Vaggie gave in and reluctantly accepted more of the princess’ generosity, despite the guilt gnawing away at her stomach.
The closer the two got, the worse it got. Vaggie hated herself. She hated the monster Adam created her to be. She hated the lies she believed. She hated how she lied to the best person in her life. She hated how she fucking loved her but knew damn well she’d only hurt her. Vaggie stared at her spear which lay across the room from her, and wondered if it would work to kill her. She couldn’t take it anymore, but she was too scared to tell Charlie the truth. She was in too deep. She knew she could never reverse the amount of damage she caused, but she knew she couldn’t handle hurting Charlie like that. She knew she’d hurt herself. It had already been over a month, and she fucking loved the princess of Hell more than anyone else in the world. She loved her more than she loved Lute when they were dating. And she knew that the best thing for Charlie was to be gone. But she got to a point where she knew she couldn’t live without her, so she knew she had to at least try. Tears streamed down her face as she began to write the note.
When she was done, it read: ‘Dear Charlie, thank you so much for everything, I hope you know I did this for your own good. I hurt so many of your people, and I don’t want to hurt you too, but I know I will. I can’t live with the guilt of having you in my life, but I know I can’t live without you, so trust me this is for the best. I can’t lie to you any longer, but I don’t know how the truth may hurt you, but do know I do love you, and that you deserve to be with the best being who's ever existed. Please keep yourself safe, and don’t think for a second this is your fault. Don’t ever stop yourself from rambling, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m sorry I couldn’t be that to you
Love,
Vaggie’. She kissed the part of the letter where she addressed Charlie. She felt her heart pounding as she walked to the other side of the room, she could see her reflection in the spear. She wasn’t 100% sure if it would work, but she knew she had to at least try. She’d never pointed a spear at herself before. It felt a little weird to balance. Just like the first time she had to use it with only one eye. But she got better at it. And Charlie helped her. It felt weird, just like finding out everything she thought was true was a lie. Like the fact she fell in love with the princess of the realm whose people she’d genocided for years on end. Everything was wrong. Just like a spear is the wrong weapon to kill yourself with because of how long the other end is. Just like how leaving the door open when you’re trying to end it all and there are other people at home is wrong. Regardless, Vaggie didn’t think about those things when she raised the long weapon to her throat. Just like how Charlie didn’t think to knock and walked right in on the scene.
“Vaggie...?”, she managed to say with a wavering voice, “What... what the fuck are you doing?”.
“I’m...”
“Is this what the scars on your arms were from? I... I know Hell isn’t great, but I’m trying to make it better, did I do something? Is it my fault? Please, tell me what’s wrong, I... I’ll do whatever you want or need, just please put that down, I... I...,” her eyes began to well with tears that soon began streaming down her face, “Please don’t leave me too... I... my dad’s already in this weird depressive spiral and I hardly get to see him, and my mom is too busy doing important stuff to even notice I’m here half of the time, and it’s just like... I thought I was finally good enough for someone, my parents are already probably going to get divorced in a few years, and I’m pretty sure that’s my fault too, please Vaggie, you don’t have to stay with me if I’m too much for you, but you shouldn’t have to kill yourself over it... I... what can I do to make you want to stay? Please tell me, I’ll do anything!,” Charlie cried. All Vaggie could do for a moment was stare at her before she could manage a whisper.
“You’ll be better without me, it’s not your fault, I’ve hurt you, and so many otherrs, you deserve better than me, please...”.
“You’re the best person I’ve ever met, for fucks sake, Vaggie, I love you, like romantically! I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I’ve been to scared to say anything because you’re too good for me, and my own parents don’t want to be around me so why should you? I’m sorry I drove you to this point.... leave if you want, but please... don’t do this”.
“You didn’t drive me to do anything, just look at my note, here I can read it with you if you want”. Vaggie’s voice cracked as she read the note aloud to a beyond hysterical Charlie.
“You want to do this to make me happy? Vaggie if you want to make me happy, then give me the spear until I know you’re in a better place. Everyone in Hell has done bad things! That’s why everyone is here! I just happened to be born here,but I’m not fucking perfect! The other sinners hurt each other all of the time. You say it isn’t my fault but I know that there’s something I could’ve done, or should’ve, or I-”.
“Charlie! You had no way of knowing I wanted to do this!”.
“Well now that I do know I need you to give me the spear...”.
“I- no- it's for-”.
“I know you think it’s for my own good but trust me it isn’t! I’ve been exactly where you are before!” she rolled down her sleeve to reveal faded scars, one of which ran right over a vein. “Please don’t do this, even in Hell there’s help... and if that isn’t good enough I’ll take it upon myself to find something that is”.
“I don’t fucking deserve you, Charlie”.
“You’re right, you deserve better than some princess with attachment issues and a savior complex!”.
“How could you say that about yourself?”.
“How could you think killing yourself because you’re one of a crap ton of people who have done shitty things is the right solution?”.
“I... I just don’t want to hurt you”.
“And you won’t! Even if you do it’s normal for things to get screwy!”.
“I’m sorry... for everything....”.
“Please never apologize for this shit again, just.... can I have the spear... for now? Until I know you won’t do this again”. Vaggie inhaled before nodding. Charlie brought the spear out fo the room quickly before returning. “Thank you... I love you, like a lot, I really, really do, even though I know it might not always feel like that”.
“I... I love you a lot too,” Vaggie told her princess for the first time, but certainly not the last. And for the first time in a while, she felt like she had a purpose. And that purpose was to do whatever it took to keep Charlie happy, safe, and feeling loved.