Archive of Our Own ^beta

[occurs in an alternative universe where total drama didn't happen, and ezekiel + mike have known each other since kids. both are 18+ in this and are roommates.]

[trigger warning is listed in the summary. please don't read anything that could hurt you.]

Mike moved slowly as he awoke from his spotty sleep, listening for the usual sounds of Ezekiel working in the kitchen. Not hearing anything, he removed his phone from under his pillow and turned it on, squinting as the light temporarily blinded him. He checked the time after turning the brightness down.

'8:48 AM.. Maybe he's sleeping in today.'

Slowly waking up, he got out of bed and walked out of his room, down the hallway and to Ezekiel's doorway. His door was cracked, as usual, the sunlight shining on everything outside reflecting into his room with a yellowish glow. He was curled comfortably beneath the blankets, his toque resting on the nightstand. He looked very peaceful. 'I'll let him sleep for a bit.'

He went into the kitchen and got down two boxes of cereal, pouring them into their favorite bowls (a sea foam green bowl and a blue bowl, respectively) and putting a spoon in each, setting them at the table. "Perfect!" He chirped to himself, walking back into Ezekiel's room and quietly stepping in, approaching the bed. He put a hand on his shoulder, lightly shaking him. He was very cold, Mike was surprised.

"Zeke.. Wake up, I made breakfast." He mumbled to the sleeping man, only to receive no response. Not even a readjustment after being shaken. 'Strange..'

"Zeke." Mike spoke a bit louder this time, his eyebrows slightly furrowing. He put two hands on his arm, shaking him a little more aggressively. Nothing.

Pushing back the worst case scenarios that shot through his mind, he tried a few more times, getting more scared each time he got no feedback from him. "Ezekiel, come on!" He roughly pushed him onto his back, his body limply following with the movement. He didn't stir. He didn't even seem like he was breathing.

Mike's chest tightened and his throat burned as he wrapped his arms around his abdomen, frantically trying to take deep breaths and keep away the tears that threatened to fall. "He can't be. He's not.." He breathlessly told himself, running out of the room and down the hall into his own room. He pulled out his phone and blinked through the tears, dialing a number.

~~

Mike was glad Leo didn't bother knocking, being told the door was unlocked and he probably knew he was welcome in anyway. He opened the door and was mindful not to slam it behind him, seeing Mike pacing around the living room and looking up when he saw him come in.

"I came as fast as I could." His voice was tense, he sounded like he was able to keep himself a lot more calm than Mike was. "Where is he?"

"His room." He choked out, wiping his tears on his already damp hands. "Do you think- is he-"

"I'm sure it's nothing, it could just be a mistake. Let's try not to panic just yet." Leo offered his hand for him to hold, but Mike didn't even want to think about the action right now. He feverently shook his head, scratching at his neck.

"I'll go check it out. If the same thing happens, we'll call an ambulance. Do you want to call the others too?"

"No."

"Okay. Just sit tight, I'll be right back." Leo disappeared into Ezekiel's room, leaving Mike in the middle of the living room. He felt like his insides were tearing themselves apart from the waiting. He'd never been in this situation before. If he was really.. He couldn't bring himself to say the word. He had no idea what he'd do.

At this point, he'd started hearing distressed mumbling in his head, and that didn't do much but fuel the fire in his throat and eyes. What would they all do? They'd relied on Ezekiel for so long, they trusted him like no other. They couldn't bear to even imagine living without him. Experiencing one of their collective worst nightmares coming true? It was hard to say what could happen.

He tried to ignore the way he wanted to vomit upon hearing Leo frantically shake the bed and seemingly mess around with some other things in the room, forcing the imagery down and away from his mind. They couldn't think about it, it would only make them feel incredibly worse.

He screwed his eyes shut hearing Leo's boots against the hardwood floor, making their way back into the living room. He was completely silent.

"Don't say it." Mike whispered, gripping his arms desperately.

"I'm sorry."

His mind began swirling. They were all screaming, so helpless, so scared, so lost. It vibrated through his skull and burst his eardrums. He was dead. Mike was alone.

'Wake up.'

Someone's voice was whispering to him. He could barely hear it through the pounding pain in his head.

'Mike, wake up!'

He could feel his body trembling violently. No, that wasn't it. Someone was shaking him. Was it Leo, possibly trying to keep him in the present? Something inside him wondered if his grief would be so unbearable that he'd be able to join Ezekiel. Maybe it was the hands of death coming to collect his tortured soul.

"Mike!!"

Mike forced his eyes open and he snapped upright, breathing heavily and feeling the weird exaggerated pain mostly leaving his body. His head was still throbbing, however the physical pain he could swear he'd been feeling was gone.

He felt the way his blankets weighed his legs down, the feeling of Ezekiel's hand on his arm, and the sticky tears that were drying on his face. A hand was on his arm.

He turned left, coming face to face with a familiar concerned expression and the calloused hand leaving its place on his skin. "Are you okay, eh? I heard you crying."

Mike grabbed Ezekiel by his shirt and yanked him into a tight hug, his body truly beginning to shake as he sobbed into his best friend's neck. He was alive. He was breathing. He could feel the pulse in his neck and he was moving and living and *alive.*

The farm boy reciprocated the embrace, holding him in the same firm way he always had. It had almost a protective feel to it, something that send the message of 'I would never let you go if I didn't have to.' Mike had never noticed that before. He was going to appreciate that for the rest of his life.

They stayed in their positions for a good long while, long enough for Mike to retain his calm breathing pattern on his own and to let him loose a little. Truthfully, he wanted to keep holding him, out of the irrational post-nightmare fear that if he didn't then maybe it would come true after all. But when they broke away, nothing happened. He was still there, still kneeled in front of him. His gray eyes were still full of worry and love for him. Their hands gripped each other, and Mike felt like every breath he took was releasing bits and pieces of his stress from his body.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ezekiel asked softly, sitting next to him on the bed. He softly squeezed his hand, and Mike closed his eyes in serenity.

"If you don't mind." He looked to Ezekiel apologetically, and the latter shook his head.

"Of course I don't mind. You *are* my best friend, that means I get everything that comes with you, eh." They shared a laugh, sitting against the wall behind Mike's bed.

He'd told him everything he could remember as he slowly forgot the dream in his waking state, the gray-eyed man becoming more horrified by each sentence said to him. By the end, Mike could swear he looked like he'd had the dream himself.

"Holy shit." He spoke after a long minute of silence, putting a hand over his mouth. "Yeah, no wonder I heard you crying. I can't even imagine.."

"I know." Mike laughed and leaned against Ezekiel's body, taking a well deserved breath. "But I'm glad it wasn't real. I feel so much better now that you woke me up. Thank you, for that."

"Of course, eh." They exchanged warm smiles as they hugged once more, feeling safe in each other's arms.

The two stood up and walked out into the dining room, hand in hand, forever bound together.