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Sethos is... confused all things considered.
He had heard of the infamous duo which is Alhaitham and Kaveh. Everyone and their moms always has something to say to them.
"Ah, the Light of Kshahrewar and Acting Grand Sage? The absolute bros."
"Breaties-- I mean, breasties-- I mean, what?"
"They embody straight men being bros with their straight friends! Kaveh even made Alhaitham's half naked picture as his wallpaper for inspiration!"
"I saw the Acting Grand Sage bridal carry him home after Mr. Kaveh got drunk in the tavern... maybe they sleep on the same bed to strengthen their brotherly bond!"
"Straights, disgusting. I hope they don't have a special event where they're together in some way."
"Nothing says bestfriends like Kaveh and Alhaitham!"
Sethos could only nod at the different tales the people of Sumeru spun as the days past. He wholeheartedly believes that Kaveh and Alhaitham are just bros who hung out and has heterosexual conversations.
So imagine his surprise when he sees the famous Acting Grand Sage and Light of Kshahrewar together in the Grand Bazaar buying fruits.
The shocking part is not that they're together but the fact that Kaveh is saying something to Alhaitham in a hushed tone while Alhaitham's eyes soften minutely. Their fingers intertwined while the blonde's free hand picks up different fruits and brings it up his nose to smell the freshness. Alhaitham just stands there with their other groceries effortlessly tucked in one arm while his thumb gently rubs Kaveh's hand.
The vendor doesn't seem phased by their actions, in fact, they seemed mesmerized at the... bro-ish actions the two are exhibiting. And Sethos absolutely understands.
There something spell binding seeing two powerful figures be soft and careful around each other as if they're... lovers?!
Unacceptable! How could they ruin the sanctity of a bro on bro friendship! Calm down Sethos, that's probably normal between bros. He should ask Cyno is these brofriends are always like that. But judging by the not-surprised but amazed stares they're getting, it's not hard to realize this is how they act in public normally.
Sethos had to get closer! He just HAD to! It's not like he's going to listen in! He's just... going to look at the Hara fruits in front of the fruity people- I mean, totally NOT fruity people exhibiting the scent of gayness.
He had to strain his ears just a biiiit more while he turns a Hara fruit around as if he's looking for a fault in the otherwise perfect fruit.
"You told me earlier there were still fruits on the table..."
"There WAS a juicy peach on the table earlier and thought as such. It's so delicious, I eat it every night."
"You won't be eating that peach once we get home."
"Kaveh, don't be like that..."
Sethos' (and the vendor because let's face it they definitely are listening in) eyes widen when the Acting Grand Sage Alhaitham, known as the strictest, only rivaling Cyno, and most nonchalant man let out a pleading whine.
He straight up whined because his bro, bestie, BFF, heterosexual friend wouldn't let him eat a peach when there are clearly fresh peaches on the table.
Kaveh rolled his eyes and gave the vendor the fruits he picked, carefully adjusting the baby carrier, and gave the bagged fruits to Alhaitham. He looked close to yelling if not for the sleeping infant on his chest.
"Don't give me that look, because of you I couldn't appear much as I could."
"Which one of us has a breeding kink--"
The blonde stomped on his feet with his face flushing red. Alhaitham didn't even flinch as the smirk on his face grew once Kaveh starts to sputter.
With a last glare and a warning, "You're sleeping on the sofa until next week." Kaveh stomped off, fuming and red.
Alhaitham, realizing his mistake, hurriedly followed, "Kaveh, you know I have to appear on a banner in a couple days, how could I sleep properly without you--"
And their conversation stops there.
Sethos, honest to Lord Kusunali, could only stare as they disappear from his sight. The last thing he heard was a small gurgle and they were completely gone.
The vendor sighs with dreamy eyes, "I wish my husband would eat my peach every night."
Sethos looked at him, then at the peaches on display, then back at him, "Why would you let your husband eat something you sell every night?" He asked curiously, still can't shake the thought of Kaveh and Alhaitham and their weird conversation.
The vendor looks at him deadpan and took the Hara fruit he's been fiddling with from his hand, "I don't want to explain to you how I want my ass eaten every night by my husband like how Alhaitham eats Kaveh's."
Sethos nodded and apologized. He walked away from the Grand Bazaar when he suddenly realized it.
"The Acting Grand Sage eats ass?!"