Work Text:
Edwin sat behind his desk, sketching in one of his notebooks. He was trying not to be obvious, looking over the top of the book to watch Charles occasionally. He traced the lines of his face, moving his hand as his eyes moved. Charles was none the wiser, his eyes on the pile of objects he was still pulling from his backpack. It wasn’t the first time he had drawn Charles, but it was the first time Charles had been in the room while he was.
“Love?”
Charles’ voice startled him, making him close his notebook. Charles raised an eyebrow, a half smile forming as he watched Edwin.
“Yes, Charles?”
“One, have you seen the magic book you said you need for this case? I thought I put it in my bag but I can’t find it.” He stuck his hand back in the bag.
“You forgot to put it in your bag so I put it back in it’s proper place,” Edwin informed him, opening his notebook again. “Anything else?”
“Yes, what made you so antsy today? You keep staring at me and drawing in your notebook.”
Edwin snapped his notebook shut again, putting his pencil down. He wished he could pretend to be doing nothing, but was already caught. He sighed and stood, walking over to the bookshelf. He pulled the book Charles was looking for off the shelf and handed both books to Charles. Charles chuckled, taking the offered books. The magic book was put with the pile of things to go back in his bag.
“I was drawing,” Edwin explained as Charles flipped through the notebook.
He knew the moment he found the drawing. Charles’ eyebrows went up as he brought a finger to brush over the lines of his face. He could tell the drawing wasn’t complete, just the basic lines of his face, but he could see the care Edwin had taken.
“This is how you see me?” He whispered, looking up at his boyfriend.
“Of course,” Edwin admitted, “you have looked like that since we met. You are dead, darling, your face hasn’t changed.”
“Edwin, I promise you, I do not look like that, I never have. It’s too…” Charles looked at the drawing again, “It’s too perfect.”
Edwin sighed, sitting on the floor beside his boyfriend. It had taken a lot to get to this point and he didn’t want to backtrack by saying the wrong thing. He let Charles look at the drawing for a moment longer before reaching over and taking the notebook. He grabbed Charles’ hand, pulling it into his lap. Charles looked up, locking eyes with Edwin.
“This is how you look, Charles,” Edwin appealed, “It might not be how you see yourself, but this is how I see you. It doesn’t matter if you believe it or not. Have I ever lied to you?”
“Well…” Charles started to say, a chuckle stuck in his throat as his eyes glistened. “You haven’t lied to me about myself in a long time.”
“If my drawing is such a bother, I can…”
Charles grabbed the notebook, holding it to his chest with his free hand. Edwin chuckled, squeezing Charles’ hand. When Charles was sure Edwin wouldn’t do anything drastic, he held the notebook back out. Edwin took it, keeping it close.
“I don’t mind if you draw me,” Charles confessed. “It’s nice to be reminded of what I look like since I can’t see myself anymore.”
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Charles stuck the tip of his tongue out, looking over at Edwin as the other boy was reading at his desk. Charles had it stuck in his mind since Edwin showed him the portrait he had drawn. There were a lot of things Charles didn’t do as often as he had when he was alive. He ran a thumb over part of his picture, smudging the lines he had drawn. He glanced back up and saw Edwin’s eyes dart to his book.
“I can see you looking at me,” Charles announced, finishing some final touches on his picture. “What’s going on in that big brain of yours, love?”
“I have never seen you concentrate so hard on something that wasn’t for a case,” Edwin replied, putting his book down. There was no point in pretending he wasn’t watching Charles, especially when Charles already knew he was being watched.
“I’m almost done, then I’ll show you,” Charles said, grinning over his sketchbook. “Will you read to me while I finish?”
“Charles, you have no interest in the study of alchemy and potions,” Edwin admonished.
“I don’t care, I like listening to you read,” Charles shrugged, sketching a few more lines. “I could listen to you read about nonsense and think it was brills.”
Edwin rolled his eyes playfully and opened his book again. As he listened to his boyfriend read, Charles finished drawing. He had been worried about how well he would be able to draw, it had been years since he completed a drawing, but he thought his first attempt was better than he thought it would be. He put his pencil down, getting lost in the smooth sound of Edwin’s voice.
“Charles?”
“Hmm?”
Charles opened his eyes to see Edwin looking at him with a bemused expression. He realized he had gotten lost in Edwin’s voice and stopped paying attention to anything around him.
“Have you finished or would you like me to keep reading?”
“I’m finished. Would you like to see it?”
Edwin smiled, standing from his chair. Charles shifted on the couch, leaving room for Edwin to sit beside him. When Edwin was seated and Charles had mentally prepared himself for Edwin to see his portrait, he handed Edwin his sketchbook. When Edwin saw what was on the page, he gasped. The last time he saw his reflection, he had been covered in blood and wearing the dirty, white outfit from Hell.
“What do you think?” Charles whispered.
“This…this is how you see me, darling?” Edwin asked in a choked whisper. “This is…this…”
Charles dropped to the floor, resting on his knees. He carefully took his sketchbook from Edwin, placing it on the couch beside him before taking Edwin’s hands in his.
“When I saw your portrait of me, you told me that it might not be how you see myself, but it was how you see me. This is the same thing, love. This is how you look; I’ve seen you for 35 years. I don’t see how you looked in Hell, I don’t see the person you hide behind. I see you. This is my favorite version of you.”
Edwin squeezed Charles’ hands in his, taking a stuttered breath. He wasn’t expecting to see himself through Charles’ eyes, but it was nice to see himself from another’s point of view. Charles brought one of his hands up, kissing his knuckles.
“I think it’s brills,” Edwin whispered.
Charles chuckled, climbing from his knees to stand before Edwin. He leaned down and kissed the top of Edwin’s head.
“I love you.” Charles breathed the words out as though they were the only breath in his lungs.
“I love you too,” Edwin whispered in reply.