Chapter Text
He’s twenty-two when he gets appointed Vice-Captain of the Third Division.
His captain is one year older, and a super rookie who came from a family nobody’s heard of. It’s a first - for a captain in a Tokyo base to be someone who doesn’t come from a line of Kaiju exterminators.
Maybe that’s why Soshiro finds himself trusting her. Maybe it’s because, on their first meeting, she thanked him for clearing the path for her.
She showed genuine appreciation for him. Captain Ashiro saw him. She noticed.
And for once, he didn’t have to fight tooth and nail for approval from somebody.
Soshiro then decided, as he shook hands with her, that he’d risk his life for this person - and the comrades who stood with them.
i. one year
Soshiro is twenty-three and finding out what it’s like to evaluate potential recruits. It’s been a year since he’s started working with the Third Division and he’s having fun, which is… strange.
He doesn’t remember the last time he had this sort of freedom.
(Perhaps, when he was still able to spar with his older brother daily.)
The people on the Third Division like him, and he likes them.
There had been stares of disbelief when he was introduced by the captain, and even worse looks when he announced his speciality.
Ah, he had thought to himself, it’s all the same anywhere he goes.
But one glare from his captain promptly caused them to stop muttering amongst themselves and she stood on the podium and spoke about him with pride.
“Hoshina- No, your Vice-Captain, is extremely skilled in taking down smaller Kaiju. Don’t look down on him just because he uses a technique people only know how to denounce. He will be the one to lead all of you into clearing a path for me.”
Soshiro still recalls the chills on his spine when she spoke her next words, and how he swore his life to this division and Captain Ashiro again.
“When the time comes, just watch carefully.” She had said, with so much confidence and belief in him, Soshiro wondered if it was a prank.
He knew what she was saying though. It was a challenge. A test to prove his worth.
And it was the captain’s way of saying that there’d be no room for failure - because she knew from the start it wouldn’t be possible for Soshiro.
The memory of seeing the shocked faces of the people who clearly doubted him was also a fantastic sight. And as he said, they all naturally gained respect for him after that.
So he likes them. And they like him.
(Okonogi also let it slip that the dynamic between Captain Ashiro and him makes the Third Division more lively, and he can only hope so.
Soshiro’s never seen his captain truly happy.)
“The exam will begin in 15 minutes, please make sure to test out your suits properly before entering combat.” Okonogi's voice - in the present and not a memory from a few months ago, rings out and Soshiro is reminded of his duties.
He’s here to watch out for potential recruits - and be ready in case anything goes wrong.
As he’s making a mental list of what he wants to check off, his captain appears by his side.
She’s holding the profiles of the people present in the current round. They’re a bit more crumpled than he remembers, but he chalks it up to it being stashed in an unfortunate place on her desk.
Captain Ashiro’s office is clean, with bookshelves lining one side of the wall and Soshiro desperately wants to spend more than five minutes there so he can see what titles she has.
The profiles must’ve been stuck under some of those thick books she keeps on her desk. The last he entered there were titles on Kaiju’s anatomy.
“Hoshina,” her clear voice snaps him out of his thoughts this time and he leans towards her. Although Soshiro can hear her just fine. “This person has the highest release force in the group and has shown excellent track records in college.”
Got it. Keep an eye out for that guy then.
“He’s pretty young too! A shame about the age limit, huh. I’m sure we could get some good old recruits too if age wasn’t such a big restriction.” He comments, noticing the person they were looking out for - Torikawa Raichi, is only eighteen. He got admitted into college early too - how interesting.
Before he can point out how they might have a really exceptional person this time, Soshiro notices something is off.
The air around them has stilled, Okonogi and the rest may not have noticed it but after spending a year with the captain, he knows.
When he tries to take in the expression on her face, she moves away from him and walks towards the screen showing all of their potential recruits.
So she’s just as observant as him then. Of course she would be - as the Defense Force’s Ace.
Oh well. Soshiro can’t do much anyway, he’s just… the Vice-Captain.
Okay, so he obviously has more power than an ordinary officer but still - his captain doesn’t seem to want him interfering.
How troublesome.
Soshiro wants to meddle.
How can he not, he sighs softly.
(The one person he wants to see happy the most is his captain.)
There had been other occasions too, where Soshiro would notice something wrong with her. He never made the move to speak to her, because she’d be walking away before he could try.
Sometimes, Soshiro feels like there’s a wall between them.
And as Vice-Captain, he has to wonder if he’s even doing his job right.
Did he get appointed simply for his skills? Yes, surely, but was it because his captain believed he wasn’t the type of person to interfere?
Too bad for her, Soshiro muses. He’s known to be a bit of a meddler when he wants to be.
Slowly, as if approaching a wild animal that could attack him at any moment, he stands beside her. As he should.
“Look alive, everyone!” He calls into the microphone, snickering to himself as the little examinees look around. “This year we’re going to be exterminating Honju and Yoju for the second exam. Be prepared to use whatever knowledge you have that led you here. It’s not all about combat on the field.”
He uses the chance to glance at the person by his side. “Commander Ashiro is here too, so don’t disappoint.”
“Stop using my name to put pressure on the potential recruits.” She says, although there’s no real bite to it.
Soshiro waves his index fingers around, disagreeing. “You don’t understand how powerful your name is, Captain! It’s not to pressure them-” He points at the screen.
“It’s to motivate them.”
They stand back to get a clearer view of all the people taking the exam. After hearing that the Third Division Commander is watching them, they’ve all gone quiet. There’s a certain look in their eyes.
It’s one he knows all too well.
Desperation to gain approval.
From there, he lets Okonogi explain what happens in case of emergency, and that they’ll immediately put shields up for anyone who’s in danger.
Next year onwards he’ll probably be the one briefing them though. The captain can’t be here to look over them each year - hence making this part of his duties as Vice-Captain.
It’s fine though, they may both love killing Kaiju but Soshiro finds joy in watching out for potential troops too.
Upon confirming the start has gone smoothly, she pats him on the shoulder.
“Let me know if anything seems the slightest bit off and I’ll be here.” She instructs, and Soshiro nods.
Sometimes, he has to wonder if the distance between them is all in his head, or if this is how it should be.
Soshiro, don’t get too close to those in your division. You’ll never know what happens in battle.
He grits his teeth.
How annoying, to have to be reminded of his place from a voice he’s tired of hearing in his head.
The rest of the exam goes smoothly, although Soshiro fears his bad mood hasn’t gone away. He needs to do some training, feel his blades on his hands.
After dismissing them and handling all the paperwork, Soshiro wishes Okonogi and the rest of the operations team well before finally letting himself storm out.
It’s infuriating - to get attached despite knowing the risks. To get attached despite knowing his hard earned title can’t even close the gap between them.
When he reaches the training room and unzips his uniform jacket, he finds he’s not alone.
Neither of them had noticed each other upon his entrance, and that’s certainly something that doesn’t happen every day.
The captain is known to be observant.
He peeks out of the changing room, unsure of why he’s even hiding.
She has a dummy model out, practicing a different martial arts than what they’re usually trained in. He remembers her telling him about wanting to learn more hand to hand combat given her weakness in close range fights.
The dummy however, is not one of Kaiju.
There’s a faint muttering that bounces off the walls in the training hall, and Soshiro glances at the door. He wonders if he can go unnoticed and lock it.
Well. He probably shouldn’t even be here in the first place.
And it’s selfish, because he was never granted permission to watch their captain lose composure.
Sighing, he turns away from the door of the changing room and leans against the wall instead - thinking about when the best chance to sneak away is.
One particularly loud smack causes him to tighten the grip he hadn’t realized his fist was in.
“Liar,” it’s a quiet whisper. But the tone holds so much edge that even Soshiro is terrified.
“Liar,” she says again. It’s not a whisper this time. There’s a resoundingly loud thwack and Soshiro steels himself as if he’s the one getting hit.
“Liar,” Another resounding thud.
“Liar.” And another.
“Liar.”
This hit is the loudest.
He hears the dummy crash against the wooden floors of the training hall and can’t help but feel a connection with it.
Usually, Soshiro is good at analyzing a situation and giving orders to his unit. Usually, Soshiro knows what to do.
Usually, for things that don’t concern Ashiro Mina, he’s confident he can do well.
He’s stuck.
It’s as if there are roots wrapped around his ankles, preventing him from moving.
It reminds him of when he was made to do anything but practice swordsmanship when he was a child. He just couldn’t move knowing he would have to do some boring task like studying.
But.
The moment he hears fists against the dummy in dangerously rapid succession, Soshiro finds himself knelt on the floor and holding onto a wrist that isn’t his when he’s aware of his surroundings again.
“Captain,” he tries to sound firm but falters when he finally looks at her. “You’ll hurt yourself.”
The area under her eyes is red. Her eyes bore into his soul like she doesn’t know what to do. Soshiro immediately feels like shit.
He’s dealt with plenty of people who never approved of him, or his methods. But this is the first time he’s been glared at like he was a Kaiju.
It’s hard to discern whether she hates him or the fact that she’s been spotted in a state unbecoming of a commander.
Probably both.
Neither of them speak, and Soshiro still has her wrist in a loose grip. He takes the time to observe the cuts on her knuckles.
Her hair is a mess too, different from how it usually is. It’s grown longer than when they first met, not quite long enough to be tied but long enough to be annoying when not.
He gets a sudden urge to brush the parts away from her face but mentally stabs himself in his head instead. He’s already overstepped as is, don’t be a weirdo.
There’s that blank look on his captain's face again. Her expression has softened back to its default state, but she’s shifted to face the floor. Soshiro once wondered what it’d be like to see the captain laugh. He wondered what it’d take.
It feels like there’s a hand around his throat this time, keeping him from speaking. Soshiro knows it’s because if he breaks the silence now, he won’t be allowed back in. He’s forcibly broken through his captain’s walls.
But when he speaks - if he speaks, she’ll build them back up. And Soshiro doesn’t think she’ll be careless enough to let this happen a second time.
Soshiro has felt inferior many times before, but he feels it the most now. What good is a Vice-Captain that can’t be relied on?
“Hoshina.”
Her voice cuts through the silence and his thoughts. He doesn’t know if she’s mad.
It snaps him out of it at least, and he finally lets go of her wrist.
Time to do his part. As the seemly Vice-Captain. To pretend.
Wow, he hates this.
“Captain.” He responds back, like he does whenever she asks for his presence.
They’re both looking everywhere but at each other. Soshiro’s time inside her fortress is up.
“Sor-” she starts, quietly.
And Soshiro feels himself grow warm with rage. It’s not anger directed at her.
“Don’t.” His voice comes out deeper than usual and he surprises himself but he knows why. “Don’t apologize.”
Worthless.
He stands up, moving away from her. She doesn’t take any extra time to collect herself, the past five minutes of kneeling together in silence must’ve helped as she follows suit.
She does the clean up, and Soshiro watches her back as she keeps the dummy in the storage cabinet.
Maybe it’s his cue to walk away. To wish her goodnight. To vow in his head to never speak of this to anyone, or her.
His heart stings, and his throat is closing up but God, does he want to stay here. With her. For just a bit longer.
For as long as she’ll let him.
He almost wants to laugh. If anybody knew what he was thinking, they'd laugh at him too. How pathetic, he thinks, as he pulls his gaze down to the training hall’s floor.
“Hoshina,” her voice sounds awfully close, and when he looks up - Soshiro almost tumbles down.
She’s staring right at him. There’s no anger in her eyes.
It’s dangerous to keep thinking about the captain, he muses, he’s getting lousy at sensing her presence.
Clearing his throat, pleased that he managed to keep his composure and not let his surprise show, he responds, “Yes?”
“Were you going to train? If you aren’t, I'll turn off the lights.”
He hums, that took too much of a toll on him mentally, and Soshiro is in less of a bad mood now.
(That’s not to say he’s in a great mood, because he still feels like shit. Maybe even more so than he did when he first stepped into the training hall.)
“Nope! Let’s go.”
When they step out of the hall, Soshiro isn’t allowed to ask. When the day ends with them waving goodbye as he sees her off from the base to her own apartment, they’ll both forget this ever happened.
He doesn’t want to go.
So he doesn’t take the first step.
She saunters past him, without missing a beat. Of course she does.
At the very least, she waits for him by the door and holds it open.
He watches as she locks the hall, and he takes note of the bruises blooming on her fists.
The dummy took the brunt of her hits just fine, but he hadn’t missed the dent on its side that definitely was not there before.
“We should get that patched up in the infirmary.” He suggests before he can even go through the thought in his head first. Although, if he did, Soshiro is certain he would’ve never brought it up.
Looking down at her hands, the captain has the audacity to look shocked for a split second.
“I guess you’re right.” She says, pocketing the keys.
Soshiro lets out a genuine smile for the first time since he exposed himself. It’s easy to pretend like he doesn’t care. It’s easy for him to go with whatever flow there is in the room.
It’s easy, but it’s not fun.
She turns, walking down the hallway and Soshiro watches as her back gets further and further before catching up.
Never beside her.
Not yet.
Soshiro isn’t worthy of that just yet.
Being Vice-Captain is just a title he earned for having the second highest release force in the division. It’s a title he earned for being the second strongest. But it’s not a title that allows him to stand by her side just yet.
Not when his captain feels the need to apologize for showing a weaker side of herself to him.
Not yet- But soon.
He’s not letting his captain walk alone anymore.
They sit in silence as Soshiro dabs the iodide solution onto her knuckles. There’s a few cuts, but the bruises will probably go away in a day’s time. Injuries like that are common for them, so he’s certain nobody will question it.
Soshiro can’t say he’s helped anybody like this before, but the nurse was on break, and well. He found himself wanting to do it for his captain.
Thankfully, she hadn’t rejected the idea. That might’ve broken the dam given how he’s already feeling.
This, he thinks, is the closest he’s been with anyone. Not just physically, but he’s always had his guard high up as well. He can’t blame her, since he knows what it’s like.
He knows what this line of work is like.
But as he wastes time going over the areas he’s already dealt with, holding onto her hand for as long as he can - Soshiro wishes it were easier.
And sometimes, he wonders if another transfer is all he needs.
It’s not a thought that occurs often, he won’t let it. But Soshiro knew he was doomed the day they met for the first time and she smiled at him.
When she stretched out her hand for him to take with so much confidence, he had to wonder how it was possible to have that much faith in someone who had been said to fail by everybody else.
So he ponders if he would get a better grip on reality if he were in a different division. Certainly not the one his older brother is in, or the one Narumi is in - he seems like a pain.
But Soshiro honestly can’t see himself following anyone else but his captain.
He doesn’t want to.
“Hoshina.”
“Captain.”
He never has to think twice when she calls for him.
“I don’t think you’re meant to do this for that long.”
Soshiro bursts out laughing. She’s so dense.
“My bad, Captain Ashiro!” He laughs, he can’t stop laughing. Oh, how he’s screwed. He hums as he puts on band-aids with designs meant for little children. Soshiro doesn’t even know why they’re here. “All done.”
They’re definitely coming off in the next hour, Soshiro snorts to himself as he watches his captain look at them with that blank face again. There’s a hint of confusion and wonder mixed in.
How cute.
(He stabs the little Soshiro in his brain again before the thought can even settle.)
“How cute,” he hears her whisper and for a second almost shits himself thinking he’d said his blasted thoughts out loud. “I used to have the same ones.”
Right. The band-aids. Upon closer inspection, Soshiro realizes they have cats on them. Yet another endearing attack from his usually stoic captain.
It’s not quite a smile, but she looks at the band-aids with so much fondness Soshiro wants to know more. He wants to know so much about her.
And it’s almost painful how much he has to hold back from asking.
“Capt-”
“Oh my! Captain Ashiro and Vice-Captain Hoshina, what brings you at this late hour? Is everything okay?” The head nurse, Suzuki, a little but capable old lady returns with a cup of coffee. Night shifts are the worst, huh.
Soshiro doesn’t know what he was about to say, but he knows it would’ve shifted the delightful atmosphere in a second were he not interrupted.
He smiles, part customer service and part genuine from seeing his captain out of her element (in a positive way this time) - even for the slightest moment.
“Nothing at all, we were just about finished. Have a good night!” He merrily signals for her to step out first, and it’s nice when she’s not moving to leave him behind on her accord.
When she’s completely out of the infirmary, Soshiro bends down to meet Suzuki’s height. “Could you keep stocking those band-aids you have here?”
She doesn’t question why he’d want the cat band-aids that are less than fitting for monster killing officers but she agrees anyway.
He gratefully accepts the few she passes to him wordlessly, probably assuming Soshiro likes them.
They’ll come in handy.
“What were you telling Suzuki-san?”
“Just helping her clean up,” he sing-songs, grinning.
Unfortunately, Soshiro doesn’t have the energy to come up with more excuses to prolong the night they have together, so he gestures to the other end of the hallway - where the exit is.
On the way out they make casual conversation, and Soshiro has completely locked away the memories from earlier. As he stands, there’s no point asking.
(He’s afraid, he knows. He doesn’t want to hear what she says if he were to ask. He doesn’t want to hear her push him away.)
He takes the chance to debrief her on the potential recruits, particularly noting the candidate they highlighted did better than expected. They’ll definitely see them in their division soon.
This is easy.
Talking about work is easy.
It’s easy, when all Soshiro has to do is pretend they’re just colleagues.
When they get to the building entrance, Soshiro wonders when the hallway seemed so short.
“Hoshina.”
The tone calls for a shift in the air.
He stands up straight as she looks him right in the eyes. This is his captain speaking.
“Hear me out until the end.” She says, and Soshiro already knows what's coming next.
“Captain’s orders?” He asks, trying to be cheeky, though he thinks if she confirmed it he’d have to try a bit harder not to cry this time.
“No,” she breathes out, “This is a request from me to you, as Ashiro Mina.”
Eyes widening, Soshiro finds that his captain plays dirty. That’s not fair, he curses, doing his best to meet her sincere gaze.
She really does shine.
“As Hoshina Soshiro, I humbly accept.”
Because Soshiro doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to say no to her. Because when she requests for him to listen, and forces him to stand there with his heart thumping out of his chest and nails digging into his palms - Soshiro is but compliant.
“Thank you,” she begins, illuminated by the street lamps. Soshiro is torn between looking away and keeping his eyes peeled. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
He swallows, having already prepared for it - Soshiro can’t say he’s surprised. It doesn’t hurt. At least, not as much as it could’ve.
“Please forget about it.”
What will it take - for her to be able to lay herself bare to Soshiro? For his captain to depend on him. For his captain to realize it’s okay, because Soshiro wants to help. He wants to be there for her.
He wants to save her too.
His palms sting.
“Is this a request from Ashiro Mina?”
“It is.”
He exhales, slowly. She must know what he’s thinking. He can be quite the open book when it comes to her, after all. Okonogi had mentioned it once.
Do it for the unit. Do it for her. Do it for your captain. Do it because you’re not worthy.
“Okay.” The smile he flashes is forced. She knows it.
It’s just lip service. They both know this too. Soshiro, for as long as he lives - will never forget the pain etched on his captain’s face. He’ll never forget the rage in her eyes.
He’ll never forgive the person who caused this.
Before she can say anything else, Soshiro takes a step back - creating distance between them.
“I’ll walk you.” It’s not a question.
She opens and closes her mouth once, and Soshiro wonders what she’ll say. The first time he had offered, when he was first appointed Vice-Captain, she had looked at him like he had two heads.
She politely rejected his offer on the basis of having Bakko with her, so he let it go. He’d managed to convince her on several occasions since then, and the short walks have always been peaceful.
It’s nice to see the way she interacts with Bakko too, outside of the battlefield. She really likes felines.
To his surprise, she agrees, “Okay. Let’s go.”
He did think she’d take his offer up since she can’t use the Bakko excuse, and she did just make Soshiro take fifty steps away from the walls she’s surrounded herself in. She probably feels bad.
“I’m still the strongest in the Third Division.” She suddenly announces, as they’re walking out of the carpark and Soshiro cackles.
Leave it to her to make it a competition.
“Yes, yes, Captain Ashiro. I’m not going to take your place.” He muses, horribly endeared.
“I can protect myself.”
“I know.” Soshiro continues softly, again without his brain’s permission, “But sometimes your team mates want to protect you too.”
With the way she goes silent, Soshiro knows his captain hates the idea of it. Being protected.
He’s aware of the pressure she puts on herself. It’s one of the reasons why he trains so hard despite already being Vice-Captain.
You could say it’s because he’s Vice-Captain, does he work so hard. It’s because he’s her second in command.
“Is this a request from Hoshina Soshiro?”
It takes him an embarrassingly long time (to him) to get over the fact that this is the few times he’s heard her say his first name, before Soshiro can reply.
“It’s a request from the entire Third Division.” He lies. Sort of. It’s true that he knows the entire unit would do anything to protect their captain and civilians. The same way she does.
But in this moment, right now, and for many more fights in the future - Soshiro undoubtedly wants to do whatever he can to keep his captain safe.
He’s well aware she’s the backbone of their division. He’s also well aware of his strengths and weaknesses. They're supposed to cover for each other.
He exists for the sake of making up for what she lacks. It’s only natural he wants to protect her too.
She looks at him like she doesn’t believe it. Soshiro hates the idea of him being easy to read. It’s tough when it comes to Ashiro Mina though.
They continue walking quietly after that. She hadn’t acknowledged what he said. Even though Soshiro is certain she already knows their loyalty to her.
“Hoshina,” the captain says his name again, and Soshiro is acutely aware they’ve already ended up at her apartment complex. As always, these walks keep feeling shorter than the last.
This might be the first time his captain has said his name so much in one day. He treasures it, even if the day was shit.
Like he has for the past hour, for the past week, for the past six months, for the past year, he responds to her call, “Captain.”
Before he has time to blink, she ends up in front of him again.
Soshiro wonders if this is some sort of cruel joke, whereby she creates distance between them and closes it every odd hour. He doesn’t think he can handle this.
They’re more or less the same height, but when she’s standing in front of him now, close enough for him to notice the way her eyes are more brown than red - Soshiro feels terribly small.
It doesn’t help that he’s holding his breath, because what the fuck? She’s way too close.
He doesn’t lose his footing at least, and he hopes his face hasn’t shown any signs of surprise - or worse, embarrassment.
Keeping his hands behind his back, respectfully, because his captain is addressing him - Soshiro meets her powerful gaze.
It's yet another unreadable expression, and Soshiro wishes they’d known each other for longer. Maybe then, it wouldn’t take so much effort to try and figure out what she’s thinking.
And well, Soshiro thinks, as his captain continues to stare at him - it’s just one more reason to train harder so he doesn’t die.
How can he, when he has yet to decipher the enigma that is his captain?
She proceeds to surprise him even further, and this time - Soshiro isn’t quick enough to hide it.
Warm hands rest gently on his cheeks.
Warm hands that don’t belong to him.
What the hell?
He doesn’t know what to think, he can’t think. For once in his life he’s been stunned into complete silence.
Breathing isn’t even considered an option now, as his heart beats unreasonably loud to the point he’s sure she can hear it. He squeezes his fist in one hand.
They’re crazy close now.
Soshiro wants to look away. To tear his eyes away from his captain’s face. It’s incredibly hard, when your treasure is in front of you.
Alas, his blood pressure refuses to listen to him and to his dismay - he physically feels his cheeks getting warmer under her hands.
Please don’t notice.
“Thank you - thank you for joining my division.” She presses her forehead to his for a moment, and Soshiro thinks he may have flat lined.
It’s over before he knows it, and the entire sequence may have been ten seconds at best but it was ten hours to him.
Before he can close his mouth and chase the flush on his face away, she wishes him well and is walking off.
As soon as he sees her enter the lobby, Soshiro promptly collapses onto the gravel under him.
His face is still warm. He can still feel her palms against his cheeks. He can still hear his heart beating loudly in his chest.
“This is bad…” He whispers to no one but the crescent moon that bore witness to the entire thing. “I’m in trouble.”
It takes him half an hour before he’s able to collect himself from the ground to make the walk back to base.
The rest of his night is spent with his usual routine, except he spends a painfully long time staring in the mirror. Staring at his face. Imagining his captain’s face.
He almost breaks the glass.
He tries to read a novel he’s picked up recently, but the words on the pages don’t make sense and the only thing Soshiro ends up envisioning is what his captain looked like before she pulled that stunt.
So he chooses to go to bed instead. Except, he spends the next four hours staring at the ceiling trying to get his mind to shut the hell up.
It’s safe to say he won’t be getting any sleep tonight. Instead, Soshiro starts directing his thoughts to the events that made him less vulnerable and more enraged.
Like what happened at the training hall.
Sighing into his hands, Soshiro swears if ever finds out the person supposedly lied to their captain, he’ll deal with them personally.
It’s the first time he’s ever seen her without that deadpan expression.
It wasn’t meant for him to see, after all.
But he has now. And he can’t forget it.
She was seething, tears threatening to fall but never overflowing.
Soshiro wished he’d caught her with her guard down in a different way.
Soshiro wished the expression he’d witnessed was of a happier one.
Soshiro makes another vow - to find a way to make her laugh.
And another one, he thinks, is to get her to bring her walls down one day.
Willingly.
It may have been a rollercoaster of a day, even worse than a day with exterminating Kaiju would be - and yet he feels… content. He’s by no means satisfied with how or where he stands right now.
He’s still watching his captain from afar, but somehow - he feels a little closer too.
He rests one hand against his cheek, knuckles pressed into the skin there.
Baby steps.