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Neytiri takes a sip of tea from the gourd cup in her hand and savors the sweet flavor.
She is alone in her and Jake’s marui tonight – her husband is at Hell’s Gate celebrating the birth of Normspellman. While she loves Jake with her whole heart, she does enjoy occasionally getting a few hours to relax by herself. Not often and not for longer than that, but she sometimes needs some space.
Her mother stopped by earlier to drop off the herbal tea mixture that Neytiri is currently drinking after she complained about having difficulty sleeping. It should help her sleep better now that her pregnancy is in its final stage. The Omatikaya Tsahik added herbs that would help Neytiri relax, stay asleep longer, and take away some of the soreness that her body is constantly feeling now.
Neytiri is sitting in front of the cooking fire – basking in its warmth and mindlessly watching the remaining tea steam in the pot. Outside the marui, the camp is quiet other than the occasional noise from the forest creatures. Most other Omatikaya have already retired to their homes to rest.
Her eyes glance out the opening toward the direction of the Sky People’s base, wondering when her mate will begin his journey home. Her thoughts are interrupted by a crackling noise and she turns her head to look at the small, portable radio that Jake keeps to communicate directly with Hell’s Gate.
Is something wrong?
The crackling clears and Neytiri’s ears twitch as someone starts to speak.
“Life…is an egg.”
Neytiri frowns – completely confused. It’s Jake’s voice, but it’s hushed as if he isn’t speaking directly into the mic on the other end.
Did he call her on accident? This wouldn’t be the first time he’s accidentally ‘butt dialed’ her – an expression she still doesn’t entirely understand since he wears his portable comm unit around his throat, not his hips.
She shifts closer to grab the mic attached to the radio, but a second voice prevents her from speaking.
“What?” This voice belongs to Norm and he sounds just as confused as Neytiri feels. “How?”
Jake answers, still seemingly unaware that the radio is on.
“It has chickens in it sometimes.”
There’s a brief pause and Neytiri struggles to understand why her husband and his friend are discussing animals from their home world. Have they spent the night reminiscing about the place they came from?
“God damn,” Norm breathes out in awe. “You’re right!”
Neytiri has no idea what this exchange is about or what it means so she has no trouble interrupting it to try and figure out what’s going on.
“Jake?”
She can hear scrambling on the other end and Norm loudly whispering, “She’s there! She’s talking! Quick, pick up! Pick up!” in the background.
“Oh hey, blue-tiful.” Jake’s voice is much louder now and has the silky smoothness to it that she associates with him flirting.
She blinks as a combination of amusement and fond exasperation rises inside of her.
It’s a common reaction to his jokes. She can’t deny that part of her loves how silly he is and how any attempt at flirting on his part makes her want to blush and giggle like an unmated youth. On the other hand, the other part of her is constantly amazed by how stupid his sense of humor is.
If he were here, she would be rolling her eyes and groaning at the terrible joke. But then – because they both know she cannot resist him and finds that stupid sense of humor endlessly attractive for reasons she cannot explain – she would pull him in for a greedy little kiss.
Jake doesn’t give her a chance to respond.
“Damn, that was so smooth!” His voice becomes faint as if he’s angling his head away from the mic. “Did you hear that, Norm? Blue-tiful. Get it? Because she’s blue?”
Hearing Jake explain the joke makes it even worse. Neytiri sighs and waits for the sarcastic response that Norm usually gives Jake when her mate makes a joke like that in the scientist’s presence.
Instead, Norm gasps.
“That is such a good pun!” He says, without a drop of irony. “You’re like…a pun master!”
“I know, right?”
There’s something a little off about Jake’s voice when he responds that warns Neytiri that something isn’t right.
Her mate normally speaks as if his words are flowing out of his mouth faster than he can think. It’s as if thoughts appear fully formed on the tip of his tongue instead of inside his brain. Now, though, he’s talking slower – as if he’s attempting to choose his words before he says them and is still having trouble getting them right.
Neytiri’s eyes narrow with realization as her brain pieces together the only other times she’s ever heard him talk this way along with Norm’s out-of-character response. There is a clear root cause for both.
Alcohol.
“Are you two drunk?” She asks.
Norm responds immediately. “Yes.”
“What? No!” Jake protests, his voice rising with indignation. “I would never get drunk –”
“You are such a liar!”
Neytiri doesn’t have to be there to agree with Norm’s assessment – she’s seen Jake drunk several times.
He might be able to hold his alcohol better than many of the other young warriors, but he’s not invincible. He once joined a drinking contest with a few of the other hunters and was so drunk at the end of it, that he kept getting startled by his own tail and continuously asked Neytiri why he was blue.
“I am not drunk!” Jake insists and then pauses. “...tipsy, maybe.”
Neytiri sighs and sets down her half-finished cup of tea. She has a sneaking feeling that she won’t be able to relax and enjoy the rest of it.
While it isn’t a far walk between the Omatikaya camp and Hell’s Gate, it isn’t one that she trusts Jake to make alone while drunk. He will either have to spend the night at the base or she will have to go get him. She doesn’t like the idea of trekking through the forest at this time of night, but she likes the idea of sleeping alone even less.
Besides, while drunk Jake may not have any kind of filter when it comes to what he says, almost all of it is sweet and affectionate. She can’t deny that she enjoys the way he curls up in her arms and whispers how much he loves her before falling asleep.
His headache when he wakes up tomorrow morning will be punishment enough.
Norm’s voice draws Neytiri out of her thoughts and back to the conversation happening between the two men.
“How many fingers am I holding up?”
Neytiri can picture the face Jake must be making – head tilted to the side like a confused nantang, squinting slightly at his friend’s hand.
“Four?”
A beat.
“I actually have no idea,” Norm says and the slur in his voice is much clearer. “I can’t tell.”
Clicking her tongue in annoyance, Neytiri’s tail whips back and forth behind her.
All Jake told her was that he was going to Hell’s Gate to celebrate Norm’s birthday – he didn’t mention that they would drink as well. Was this the traditional way that Sky People celebrated each other’s births? By getting intoxicated?
She has no problem with drinking – the Omatikaya do it often when celebrating festivals and events – but they at least have the sense of mind to do it in their own camps where their mates can easily help them into their hammocks to sleep off their intoxication. No walking through the forest is required.
“You did not say it would be a big celebration, Jake,” she says slowly.
“It’s not,” he assures her. “It’s just me and Norm. We weren’t even planning on drinking anything other than a few beers, but then Norm remembered that some of the former RDA higher-ups had top-secret liquor cabinets in their offices –”
“It was one of the perks they got,” Norm added.
“Right. Anyway, since He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named isn’t here and won’t be able to drink it anymore, I thought we might as well break in and take some for ourselves.”
A crease appears in Neytiri’s brow as she listens to her husband’s story.
Who is he talking about? Why can’t this person be named?
She is used to Jake saying things that she doesn’t understand, but he usually sees the confusion on her face and stops to explain. This time – without the benefit of face-to-face interaction – he continues with his story, leaving Neytiri struggling to keep up.
“There was some really nice whiskey in there!” Norm’s voice is louder like he’s leaning over Jake to talk directly into the mic. “I’ve never had whiskey before! I didn’t think I would like it and I didn’t at the beginning but it’s actually kind of good now.”
There’s a hollow clink that sounds like one of those glass bottles the Sky People like so much hitting something.
“Oh, shit,” Norm mutters. “This bottle is all empty. Jake, is there more?”
Jake ignores his friend’s question.
“We’re just a little bit tipsy on a little bit of whiskey, Neytiri,” he says. “Don’t worry about it. I’m a Marine – I can handle my liquor.”
“Yeah! And I’m a scientist! I can handle mine too!”
Neytiri would be a lot less worried if both of their speech wasn’t altered to the point where she is having difficulty understanding them.
Grace was a wonderful English teacher, but she could not have known that one of her students would be forced to try and understand English from two very intoxicated men through a radio. She feels like she only understands every other word and is trying to piece together the rest through context clues and wild guesses.
Great Mother, give me patience.
“But that’s not why I called you!” Jake says suddenly. “I have a question! A really, really important question!”
Neytiri has no idea what he could want to ask her – in this state, it could be anything – but she’s curious to see where this is going to go.
“Yes?”
Jake sucks in a deep breath and then exhales it forcefully. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?!”
Neytiri glances down at her belly as if their unborn son can explain to her what his father means.
“Tell you what, ma Jake?”
“That you aren’t single!” There’s a hitch in Jake’s voice and she realizes with surprise and confusion that he is genuinely upset. “I was telling Norm how beautiful you are and how much I love you and then he said you’re not single –”
“It’s true,” Norm breaks in matter-of-factly. “You’re not.”
“– and I couldn’t believe it! How could you not tell me?!”
Jake sounds close to tears and Neytiri can only stare down at the radio in shock – her mind spinning as it tries to comprehend what she’s hearing.
Her husband has a bad habit of forgetting things while intoxicated, but this is the first time he’s forgotten that they are mated. He sounds so upset at the thought that they aren’t together – which she can understand, she wouldn’t like that either – but she’s at a loss of how to help him when it’s completely in his head.
“Tell you that I am mated?” She asks slowly.
“Yeah!” Jake sniffles loudly. “Do you have any idea how much I love you? I would do anything to make you happy, Neytiri!”
Norm breaks in once again. “It’s true. He would.”
“I would even peel a fucking orange for you! And get all that nasty white stuff off while I was at it!”
Neytiri is once again lost.
Orange is a color and from what she remembers of the brief lessons Grace gave her and the other children, it is also the name of a fruit that Sky People eat. What she doesn’t understand is why Jake is bringing it up now and talking about ‘peeling it’ and ‘taking off the white stuff’ for her.
Is it a difficult fruit to peel? Is peeling it a sign of great devotion and love amongst Sky People?
There have been many Sky People traditions that Jake has been teaching her since they mated – Valentine’s Day is one of her favorites – but he has never told her about this one before.
“Jake!” She speaks loudly, trying to cut off his continued ramblings about serenading her with love songs. “Ma Jake! Calm yourself, please.”
He stops talking and she can hear his heavy breathing through the radio. She wonders if he stopped because she asked him to or because he ran out of air. She hopes for the former, but she’s afraid it’s probably the latter.
I need to say something before he starts up again. Eywa knows he may never stop.
“I am mated,” she explains quickly. “But I am mated to you.”
There is complete silence on the other end of the device. Neytiri’s ears twitch back and forth as she listens for her husband’s response, but for several moments there is nothing but the gentle hum of the radio and the rustling of the forest outside the marui.
Does he believe me? Or will I be trying to convince him we are mated all night?
Jake’s incredulous voice breaks through the quiet. “I’m married? To you?”
“You’re what?” Norm asks in the background. “What did you say?”
Neytiri ignores the scientist.
“Yes, we are mated.” She speaks carefully, as if to a young child. “You are my husband. I am your wife.”
“Holy fucking shit.” Jake’s voice is full of awe and despite everything going on, Neytiri can’t help the small smile that spreads across her face.
There is something very sweet about how excited he is to discover that they are mated, even though the whole situation is extremely ridiculous and only something her beautiful but stupid mate could get himself into.
“Holy shit!” He says again. “Norm! Did you hear that?! Neytiri and I are married! Oh my god! I’m married to the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen! How lucky am I?! Can you believe that, bro?!”
“I really can’t.”
Neytiri laughs at Norm’s response.
There is genuine disbelief in his voice and while Jake is happy surprised, his best friend just sounds shocked surprised. Neytiri doesn’t completely understand why either of them is so surprised unless it has to do with the fact that she and Jake are two different species.
Who wouldn’t want Jake as their mate? He can be a bit dense at times, but he has the biggest, most loving heart of anyone she has ever known. He makes her happy every single day and she genuinely cannot imagine living without him. He makes her life better just by being in it.
Even though he does sometimes get so drunk that he forgets me.
“Did you know about this?” Jake’s voice grows faint again as if he’s turned away from the mic. “Did you know Neytiri and I are married?”
Norm sputters. “How would I know? You were the one who was there! Why didn’t you tell yourself?”
The question seems to stump Jake.
“Did I know?” He asks.
“No idea, man. I sure as hell didn’t.”
Neytiri resists the urge to tell them both that they did, in fact, know. They are too far gone to remember anything she tells them at this point. It would be easier for her to just focus on getting Jake home so he can go to sleep and hopefully wake up tomorrow morning with his memory returned.
She begins to gather up everything she used to make her cup of tea, carefully wiping down each piece. If she is going to have to go get Jake – which it looks like she will – she wants to have this all cleaned and put away first.
The last thing she wants to deal with is dirty dishes on top of her drunk and overly affectionate husband.
“Neytiri?” Jake asks. “Did I know? That we are mated?”
She pours the remaining tea in her cup back into the pot and covers it with a lid. She will reheat the rest of it tomorrow night – her plans to sit here and finish it have fallen apart with Jake’s memory.
“Of course you did, ma Jake,” she answers patiently. “We have been mated for almost eight months now. Soon, we will be joined by our children –”
She regrets the words as soon as they leave her mouth. She shouldn’t have given him another big piece of news like this while he’s still losing his mind over the fact that they are a couple.
While it usually takes Jake a long moment to process anything he learns, drunk Jake seems to absorb this new information at lightning speed.
“Children?!” He yells into the mic and the radio crackles, causing her to flinch. “We’re having children?!”
Eywa, give me strength.
“Yes, we are expecting our first son and –”
“We’re pregnant?!” The end of his words disappear – swallowed by the loud screeching of the radio that protests Jake’s yelling.
Neytiri worries for a moment that something has happened to the radio but then she picks up the sound of Norm’s voice as he also reacts to this news as if he’s never heard it before.
“Oh my god! The first ever Na’vi and Avatar hybrid child! This is incredible! I wonder what traits he will carry over from Neytiri and which traits he’ll carry over from you, Jake? How many fingers will he have? Will he have eyebrows? I have so many questions!”
Neytiri doesn’t mention that these are all the same things he said when he found out she was expecting the first time. Hearing it again doesn’t help her understand any better what he finds so fascinating about their unborn child.
So what if she and Jake are two different species? The Great Mother brought them together and blessed their union. Their children will be just as special and loved as any other Omatikaya child born into the clan. Their father being a former Dreamwalker will not change that.
“Wait, why am I not there with you if we’re pregnant?” Jake speaks over Norm’s continued muttering in the background. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
Neytiri is about to remind Jake that she is only just now entering her eighth month when he seems to remember that news and gasps.
“Holy shit! Eight months?! That’s almost full-term, right? We could give birth at any minute –”
Neytiri can hear rustling noises and a loud smack of skin-on-skin that is immediately followed by Norm’s pained yelp.
She can only imagine that Jake is trying to get to her and the last thing she needs is her drunk mate wandering around in the forest trying to find his way home when he doesn’t even remember what home looks like.
“No, Jake!” She rushes to reassure him. “I’m not that close to giving birth! Relax, my love. There is still a month left to go. There is no reason for you to rush back.”
Her attempt to calm him only seems to redirect his panic in a new direction.
“I’m going to be a father in a month?!” Jake groans and there’s a quiet thump that Neytiri assumes is her husband’s forehead coming in contact with a table or perhaps a wall. “Oh fuck, I don’t think I’m ready. I don’t know how to be a dad! Do you think I know how to be a dad?”
Neytiri opens her mouth to tell him that she knows without a doubt that he will be an incredible father, but Norm less-than-helpfully beats her to it.
“Probably not,” he says cheerfully. “You are pretty young to be one. All the dads I know are – you know – old.”
Jake’s voice starts to rise in pitch as he sinks into panic.
“Sure, I’ve been around babies before in my life, but not a lot! And not alien babies!”
He gasps for breath and Neytiri decides to just let him get it all out. He doesn’t seem in the best state of mind to listen to reason.
“What if…holy shit, what if it bursts out of my chest or something?! I’m not prepared for that, Norm!”
Neytiri was under the impression that Sky People gave birth in a similar fashion to Na’vi, so hearing Jake worry about the baby ‘bursting out of his chest’ makes her question everything she thought she knew.
What does he think childbirth entails? How does he think the baby is going to get inside of his chest?
She suddenly finds herself just as confused as Jake was when he first called her.
“The baby isn’t going to burst out of your chest,” Norm explains. “You’re clearly not the one carrying the baby. You’re not fat enough.”
Neytiri doesn’t have to be at Hell’s Gate to know that Jake is probably looking down at his own stomach to prove to himself that he is not, in fact, pregnant.
There is no room for a child under those rippling ab muscles.
“Are you the one carrying the baby, Neytiri?” Jake asks.
She drags herself back to the present – pushing the mental image of her husband’s sculpted chest out of her mind. Now is not the time to be lingering on that. Eywa curse her hormones!
“Skxawng! Of course I’m the one carrying the baby!”
She doesn’t have time to get anything else in before he’s once again interrupting.
“Shit! I don’t want the baby to come out of her chest either!” He’s panicking in a way that would be funny if it was any other situation. “I want our baby to be born but not at the cost of the wife I just learned I had! Isn’t there something we can do?!”
Neytiri’s mind is rapidly going through all the information she learned from Grace – trying to figure out what part of the birthing process would make Jake think that their child is going to emerge from her chest and kill her.
He must not have had a very good teacher as a child if this is how he believes children are born!
“I think you’re thinking of the movie Alien, dude,” Norm tells him. “You don’t need to worry – the Na’vi have babies the same way humans do.”
It’s a relief to hear that Norm hasn’t lost his wits completely to the alcohol. Jake has not only forgotten that he is mated and expecting two children but has also apparently forgotten basic knowledge about his own species and instead mixed it up with one of those strange movies he likes so much.
If this was happening to anyone else Neytiri would be surprised and dismayed, but since this is Jake the lack of awareness fits a bit too well.
There’s a substantial pause in the conversation as Jake digests this new information.
He must have gotten some education about what childbirth entails because he understands what Norm means and says “Fuck, that may be even worse” and shudders dramatically.
Neytiri decides it’s time to put an end to this little misadventure.
She’s tired and wants nothing more than to crawl into her hammock next to her husband and have him wrap his strong, warm arms around her. Unfortunately, she can’t do that until he’s home and Eywa knows he won’t be able to make it back to camp alone in his current condition.
The sooner she goes and gets him, the sooner she can get both rest and cuddles.
Two things a pregnant woman desperately needs.
“Since you’ve drunk so much that you have forgotten about your wife and unborn children –” she begins.
“I didn’t forget about you,” Jake interjects. “I just forgot that you and I are married!”
Neytiri thinks that is a dramatic understatement considering only minutes ago he was nearly sobbing because he thought she was mated to someone else and convinced their unborn son was going to explode out of her chest.
“– I think it’s time that you came home.”
Norm groans in the background. “Aw, man.”
“And see you, right?” Jake asks.
While Norm is clearly disappointed with her request, Jake sounds excited. The eagerness in his voice makes Neytiri immediately imagine his tail thumping the ground behind him. He’s never been good about being able to control that particular tell.
“Yes,” she confirms. “You will see me.”
“Of course, baby! I can leave right now!” Jake leans so close to the mic that Neytiri can hear his lips brushing against it as he talks. “I love you and your blue-tiful face so much! You are perfect and amazing and I want to cover you with kisses! I especially wanna kiss your mouth and maybe French you just a little –”
Neytiri feels her entire face flush purple.
She has been with Jake long enough to understand what he’s talking about when he says ‘French’ and while she finds the sentiment of what he’s saying endlessly adorable, she doesn’t really need it said in the presence of another person. Especially when that other person is Norm.
“Jake!” She admonishes.
“Okay, that’s enough!” Norm says at the same time. “Get out of here right now! I don’t want your nasty ass here! I can celebrate my birthday just fine without your need to share way too much information!”
Jake is indignant. “Hey! Neytiri is my wife! I’m allowed to French her a little if she wants me to!”
His voice drops and he speaks into the mic with a low voice that reminds Neytiri way too much of the way he speaks to her while they’re making love. Even with the alcohol causing his words to blur together more than usual, there is still something so attractive about how smooth and seductive he sounds.
She can’t deny that hearing him talk like that is making her body feel warm in a way that has nothing to do with the weather or the extra baby weight she’s carrying.
“Do you want me to, babe? I will happily spend all night giving you kisses if that’s what you want. There is no one else I’d rather kiss than you. No pressure if you don’t, though. It’s cool, I’m there for whatever you want.”
Neytiri’s ears twitch back and forth – her face burning as she imagines the feel of her husband’s lips against her own.
They both need sleep – her because she is almost eight months pregnant and him because he’s more than a little intoxicated – but she won’t say no to a couple of kisses. Especially the kind that are gentle and unhurried and contain just a little bit of tongue before they drift off to sleep wrapped tightly in each other’s arms.
There is nothing better than Jake’s kisses.
“We can discuss it once you’re home,” she finally says.
Jake turns away from the mic and she can hear that cocky smirk of his in his voice. “That’s a yes.”
She would be more annoyed if she wasn’t so fond of that smile.
Norm makes a gagging noise.
“Gross.”
“However!” She says firmly, trying to redirect the conversation away from her and Jake’s romantic habits. “I don’t think you will be able to make it home on your own like this. I will come get you and we will walk back to our marui together, yes? I would rather you not become a meal for a hungry palulukan tonight.”
“At least not the ones out in the forest,” Jake laughs. “But you know I’m always down if you wanna take a bite or two outta me, my fierce palulukan.”
Neytiri and Norm groan in perfect unison, even though they’re in two completely different places.
He forgets we are mated and having a child, but of course he remembers that particular nickname.
“I’m leaving now to come get you,” she says quickly, hoping to cut off the conversation before any other mortifying details escape her mate. “Stay where you are so I can find you! Do you understand, ma Jake?”
“Yep! I love you! I can’t wait to see you!”
The honest affection in his voice erases the mortification Neytiri is feeling and makes her melt.
Even when he’s drunk out of his mind, he still loves her. Still cares for her. He’s still excited to see her.
This is just the kind of man he is and it reminds her why she is so thankful to be married to him. She never questions how he feels and that constant love and reassurance is just one of the many reasons why she is not truly upset that she has to go get him from Hell’s Gate.
There isn’t anything she wouldn’t do to have him by her side.
“I love you, too, beloved,” she says, smiling at the radio.
She goes to put down the mic when Jake’s voice comes across again.
“Hear that?” He’s smug and she can only assume he’s talking to Norm. “She loves me.”
“Do not move, Jake,” she reminds him again, just in case.
The last thing she needs is him trying to meet her halfway. Or getting distracted and moving to another part of the base. She wants to get there, get him, and get home without any detours that involve tracking him down amidst the twisting corridors of the Sky People’s base.
“Yes, ma’am!” He replies cheerfully.
She sets down her mic and turns to leave the marui, one of her hands resting on her belly where their son is growing.
Let’s go collect your father, little one.
As she makes her way out of the opening and into the open night air, she can just make out the crack of the radio behind her. Jake’s voice drifts through the air and her ears can make out what he’s saying despite the distance.
“Norm…where the hell are we?”
