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1. I like my clients dead, thank you. by RockyCookie14

   Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

   • Not Rated
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Gen
   • Complete Work

   19 May 2025

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • No Romantic Relationship(s)
   • Rodolphus Lestrange
   • Ginny Weasley
   • Neville Longbottom
   • Luna Lovegood
   • Amycus Carrow
   • Alecto Carrow
   • Severus Snape
   • Rabastan Lestrange
   • Hufflepuff Students
   • Minerva McGonagall
   • No Smut
   • Inspired by The Mortuary Assistant
   • Discriptions of how to embalm a body
   • Like he's literally holding a class about it
   • Graphic Description of Corpses
   • Sarcasm
   • POV Rodolphus Lestrange
   • Rodolphus Lestrange hates children
   • and himself
   • and anything else really
   • Rodolphus Lestrange trying not to go mad
   • Ginny Weasley is So Done
   • Neville Longbottom is So Done
   • Also mentions of demons
   • And demonic stuff
   • And that is done with the world
   • Deatheaters
   • Mentions of Suicide
   • Mentions of self-harm
   • Rodolphus being himself
   • Demonic Possession
   • Hallucinations
   • Blood and Injury
   • Hemophobia
   • Lots of demon stuff
   • Suicidal Thoughts
   • Self-Harm
   • Minerva McGonagall is So Done
   • Protective Minerva McGonagall
   • description of past suicide attempt
   • Bro has a lot of trauma but doesn't want to deal with it today
   • Minor Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Rodolphus Lestrange

   Summary

   Snape, as the new headmaster, sets up a job fair, where the students can learn a bit about different jobs in the magical community.
   Rodolphus, who has his own mortuary and is quite happy only being surrounded by dead people and, occasionally, his brother, gets invited too.

   Has he mentioned that he doesn't like the living very much? Don't even start with children.

   "He chewed on his black nails and hoped that none of these pests would actually show up. His chances were high, right? What sane student would want a look at a mortuary run by a notorious deatheater rumored to be off-the-rocks crazy?
   Which sane student would go to a mortuary at all?
   He almost bit his nail off, when the door to the classroom actually opened to reveal 4 students."

   Inspired by "The Mortuary Assistant."

   Mind the tags

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   14,666

   Chapters:

   4/4

   Comments:

   3

   Kudos:

   19

   Bookmarks:

   1

   Hits:

   161

2. Bookmarked by BlueSnipe

   19 May 2025

   Public Bookmark

   Bookmark Notes:

   Temp