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"So... how're you doing today?"
Techno didn't bother responding to the question, just gave the man in front of him a deadpan look that hopefully got the point across. People who hired contract killers tended not to care about small talk, which was one of the reasons he liked the job so much. His potential client seemed very new to the whole concept, though, which might explain the nervousness.
"... right. Okay. You're Blade, right?"
For a moment, Techno considered saying "no", just to mess with him, but reluctantly decided against it. "That depends on who you are."
The man blinked, seemingly taken aback. "Oh. Well, my name's Paul."
"I didn't mean-" Techno broke off. Just as he'd suspected, Paul clearly had no idea what he was doing. "You're not supposed to give me your actual name, you know." It did confirm that this was, in fact, his client, though. He'd given the same name over the phone. "Anyway, you said you wanted to hire me?"
"I did! Yes." Paul glanced around, head darting from side to side as if scanning for any onlookers - it was a dark alley in the middle of the night, and no one in their right mind would be watching - before holding out a manilla envelope. "Here's the target. Now, I should warn you- it's a dangerous job."
"... okay?"
"And if you succeed, you will most likely make powerful enemies."
Techno took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Do you want me to take this guy out or not? Because I can do it."
"Well- see, I just- I'm not doubting your skills or anything, but this guy has really good security," Paul hurried to say. "I'm willing to pay extra, though! How much does this usually cost? Because I can pay... double. Yeah. I can do that."
That was an excellent opportunity. Paul clearly hadn't done his research as to how much it cost to hire a hitman. He must also be really desperate to get rid of the target. Techno took a moment to pretend to think it over; between the seemingly unintentional insult to his ability to handle danger and the opportunity to scam this guy for every last cent he had, it was an easy choice. "Alright, I'll take the job. My usual rate is five hundred grand, but given the level of risk, I'd say six hundred grand is more than fair as a base price. And you said you'd double it, yeah?"
Paul hesitated over the number for a moment, hand tightening around the manilla folder (he was still holding it out, as though he expected Techno to take it. Techno continued to leave him hanging). "Fine," he finally said, decisively for once. "I can do that."
"Great. I'll take half upfront, half when the job's done."
"Really? That doesn't sound..." Paul trailed off, frowning slightly. "What if you fail? Do I get the money back?"
"If I fail, it's probably because I'm dead," Techno told him bluntly. "So no, I don't think you would."
"Oh."
Techno decided Paul had probably been holding up the manilla envelope for long enough at that point and reached out to take it. "I'm assumin' this is the target?"
Paul nodded quickly. "Yep! And about the money- I have it here, actually." He held up a briefcase that had formerly been hanging at his side. "It should be six hundred grand, I kind of guessed at how much I'd need. It worked out, though!"
Techno hummed, taking the briefcase and opening it to see it was, in fact, full of cash. "Alright. I'll meet you back here in a week for the other half."
"So wait- when you say that, you mean you'll already have killed-?"
"Yeah. I know what I'm doin'. See you then. And if you can, don't tell anyone you hired me. Got it?"
Paul looked vaguely affronted at that. "Of course I'm not going to tell people. I know what I'm doing too, alright? Just because I don't know how much it costs to hire a hitman-"
Techno didn't bother continuing to listen to him, just turned and walked away. Gods, his new client was insufferable. Rich, though, and that was what really mattered. Although... come to think of it, he should really look and see who, exactly, the target was. That was a pretty important piece of information. He was confident in his ability to take out anyone in the city, especially with the motivation of spiting Paul for all his talk about "danger" and "making enemies", but some targets would be harder to get to than others.
He ducked into another alleyway, pulling out the manilla envelope and flipping it open. And then he understood.
Philza Minecraft - Angel of Death - Head of the Syndicate, read the top line. Attached was a picture of Philza. The rest of the page seemed dedicated to a long and rambling list of reasons as to why Paul wanted him dead. Techno skimmed the words; the long and short of it was that Paul was apparently the leader of the Floundering Sunrise, a mafia group that had recently arisen as a rival to the Syndicate.
Techno hadn't taken them too seriously, of course. No one did. They weren't exactly all that threatening, and the name didn't help. Apparently it had been an inside joke that got leaked and somehow managed to take the place of the old name. Regardless, they were persistent in claiming that they'd take the place of the Syndicate some day. Which would explain why Paul wanted Philza dead.
Now, there were two main problems with Techno having accepted this target. The first was that the Syndicate pretty much ruled the city. If he were to take out their leader, he'd have at least a dozen or so hitmen after him within the hour. And that wasn't even to mention the amount of security Philza had. It had its blind spots, of course; every security system did. Techno was sure that wouldn't be a problem. But it would absolutely be a headache.
And then there was the second problem: Philza was kind of his best friend. So attempting to kill him would just be awkward all around.
-----
Techno didn't waste any time before heading over to Syndicate headquarters. He was careful not to be seen; as an independent contractor, he tried to avoid being associated with any of the mafia groups in the area. Still, this was worth the risk.
Phil's office was all the way in the back of the building, past multiple sets of security guards and an electronically-locked door, but Techno passed each checkpoint with ease. All the guards knew him, after all. He knocked on the door before using a manual override to unlock the door.
"Techno!" Phil greeted on seeing him, standing up and grinning. "I heard you got a new target?"
"I did, yeah- got the guy to pay six hundred grand up front, he had no idea what he was doin'."
"Nice job, mate!" There was a brief pause, then Phil added slowly, "So if that all is going well, what brings you here this time of the night?"
Techno hesitated, trying to figure out how to introduce his dilemma. "It's, uh... nothing much. I was just wonderin', have you thought about retirement at all lately? You know, steppin' back from the life of crime and just chillin'?"
Phil snorted a laugh. "Not at all. Why do you ask? Is this some sort of joke about my age again? Because I'm not even forty yet, mate, I've still got a lot of years ahead of me."
"Nah, I was just thinkin' it would be an easy solution. I... kinda got hired to kill you."
"I see," Phil said slowly, seeming to think that over. "So- what, you think it's getting too dangerous now? Is your client someone powerful? What part of this is so concerning you had to come to me to sort it out?"
"Because I accepted the job before knowin' you were the target," Techno admitted, then lifted the briefcase onto Phil's desk, opening it to reveal the money he'd already gotten. "In my defense, it was a lot of money and he paid half up front, but I also didn't really ask before takin' the job. He kept talkin' about how it was dangerous and stuff like that, like he didn't think I could actually do it. And I said I could. So..."
Phil nodded as he absorbed the words. "Just ghost him, then. He doesn't know where you live, you don't use your real name for anything. You could ignore him from here on out."
"But my reputation, Phil."
"Alright, fine. What's your idea?"
"I was thinkin' you could fake your death," Techno offered. He noticed Phil starting to protest that immediately and continued, "I know, it's not a good idea, but that's the first thing I thought of."
Phil shook his head. "It just wouldn't work. I have the whole Syndicate to run, mate. What if you faked your death? Same end result; we don't get the extra money from your client, but we don't really need it."
"But then I wouldn't get to be a freelance hitman," Techno countered. "And even if we don't need the money, it's a pretty cool job." There was a brief pause, and he considered their options once more. "There's something else, actually- my client? He's the leader of the Flounderin' Sunrise."
Phil's eyes widened in recognition. "Those guys? I thought they weren't a threat."
Techno shrugged. "I still wouldn't consider them a threat, exactly. Paul - my client - seemed pretty much clueless. We could try takin' them out entirely, that would solve the problem."
"True... even if they're not a threat, though, they've still got a lot of people. It would be too much of an effort, and it could raise questions, which might lead to more problems in the future."
There was another pause, and then, Techno had a spark of inspiration. He straightened, snapping his fingers. "I got it."
-----
A week later, Techno returned to the spot he'd met Paul the first time. The mafia leader was waiting for him; he'd clearly been there for a little while. He must not have known what time to be there.
Techno hurried over, just slightly too fast to be casual, and hissed between his teeth, "I thought you said you didn't tell anyone. They were waiting for me when I got there, and I've got, like- twelve guys after me now. The hell were you thinking?"
"I didn't tell anyone!" Paul protested immediately, voice rising. He winced on the apparent realization, then continued in a quieter tone, "I promise, no one else knows I hired you. Like I said, I'm not an idiot."
"I don't know, mate," chimed a third voice from nearby. Paul startled, then spun around to face the other entrance to the alleyway. "That wasn't the smartest thing to say."
Perfect timing. Techno couldn't help a grin as he stepped back from Paul. "See, now we don't have to worry about retribution for takin' you out. Thanks for the donation, by the way."
"That's not-!"
Paul's frantic confusion was cut off by a gunshot, then another. His mouth moved soundlessly, then he collapsed, blood staining the concrete floor of the alleyway. Techno stepped back a little further to avoid coming into contact with the body, grimacing at the little flecks of blood scattered across his arms. "Two shots and no silencer? Skill issue."
"I just wanted to make sure," Phil defended, holstering his pistol at his side. "And it's not like I have to care about stealth, mate."
"Fair enough." Techno carefully tiptoed around the red-stained ground, joining Phil on the other side. "You know, we really should work together more often. This was fun."
Phil snorted, but nodded. "It was, actually. I think I'll leave this-" he gestured at the alleyway as they left it behind- "To you. As long as you make sure to check who your target is next time."
"This was one time-"